Dreamer

KejriFall- enigma of a fallen Hero

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 25 May 2014 16:20:00 +0000

Etched in the memory of the defiant righteous janta of India, is the name of a person who shall never fade from public memory for the he did what the others didn't (but could) - he exemplified the saying to why "a bird in hand is worth two in a bush". Arvind Kejriwal, the self proclaimed saviour of Bharat Mata, an ex-IRS officer has been in the political fray in recent times.

If you have trouble placing to how our Kejru was compelled to wrap up that muffler , get behind the blue wagonR and take up the antics for the betterment of the society, let me remind you of the Anna movement in 2011. Those were the days when Kejru, who likes to believe of himself as an idealist, took up the stage to flare up the entire country on his crusade against corruption by fasting onto death. Yes, by fasting!! To rev up the scenario, he took it up in places across the country. When things didn't go as planned, Mr Kejriwal decided it was time to go all "Rajnikanth. Hence, the Aam Aadmi Party came into being.

What started after that is a series of unwarranted, useless gimmicks of powerplay between the government and Mr Kejriwal. AAP tried to sway away the Janta by propagating the AAM AADMI card, and guess what, it worked. Mr Kejriwal contested in the Delhi assembly elections in late 2013, and Kejriwal successfully formed the government with support of none other than its halo brethren from Congress. As a showcase of typical political make believe, Kejru had people convinced that his principles were still intact, right from refusing to take up the official bungalow (yet taking a duplex in central Delhi), or ferrying around in the blue WagonR. If this didn't reflect principles, Mr Kejriwal quit as CM after 49 days to hammer it.

Now, having been plundered at the national level with a dismissal show of 4 seats out of 430 seats contested, Kejru has nothing to show for. His party hierarchy already seems to be falling apart and Tihar show isn't doing much justice to his ideals or vote bank.

Romeo's Diary #2

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 17:14:00 +0000

The earlier post of mine just gave a little insight into my ordeal in this sphere of life. Its not really a thing that I can evoke humour out of, but certainly it was a memorable and pleasant experience which stays intact in some corner of my heart. What followed is the misery and the agony so killing that the world seemed unfair at every step. Its basically when something means so much to you and you loose it, you will be rendered incomplete and the memories are the only things that will stay with you.
I have gone over these thoughts over and over again, wrenching as I did. Consoling myself seemed like the only plausible solution with an ardent desire to move on. But to err is human, and I am probably one of the most flawed human there is. I couldn't get it out of my head, I couldn't live with the fact that when someone close goes, it leaves you in deep anguish and you feel betrayed. Time has always been my companion through the strenuous life, but time too betrayed me. I wished for it to sway me over and relieve me of this agony which aggravated each passing moment, but time just slid my like a passing wave , hardly leaving a mark over the emotional wound that I had ingrained.
The more I think ,the more I realise, everything does happen for a reason and this was bound to happen. Dwelling in a cocoon that I had weaved for myself, hardly slithering out for the fear of the unknown had to have a consequence. When you become complacent, you not only detach yourself from the wonderful world there is, but you also let go of wonderful opportunities that life entails. You try to glide over the seamless drift of the monotonous world and find happiness in something material. You deprive yourself of true happiness and life becomes a debauchery of material and physical attributes.
When the Almighty shows his wrath, it isn't a moment of displeasure which smear over one's life, but is like a clout that hurts you and moreover teaches you. God taught me a lesson, which is not engrained deep in my soul.
I lost her, not because of my lack of sincerity but because I never took control over my life. I let things pass by and yet I stood with that pretentious smile, not trying to fool others but myself into believing that life was indeed too peaceful and good,...So bash on regardless. I can't see her any more and when I do, words stray away and thoughts...well they are as skewed as ever. I don't know if I ever will walk across and look her in the eyes for she is mine no more, but I want to work hard in my life so to have the dignity to treat her as she deserves.

Romeo’s Diary

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 13:38:00 +0000

I am not sure if this happens to everyone there is, but it happened to me. I am a college student, that too in Delhi University. In the typical sense, I am quite not the DU kind. I don’t have swag nor do I like the funkiest band there is. I don’t go to rock concerts and I definitely don’t sport crocs with pyjama outfit in college. I don’t have a hairdo which is not only weird, but has multiple shades of purple and red. But what I have is a decent personality with a little a shade of “funny”.

Now, if you watch movies on college life, the main star is the decent guy with who is quite an intellectual or is the star athlete who has every girl drooling over him. You might even fancy the guy with the leather jacket who comes on his Harley every day. But well, I am none of them, not even close. I don’t have that life nor do I really care for it. Moreover, most of it shown on movies isn’t true. College life may not be so perfect, and nor can you chill out to an extent where a college and a real life orgy of fun and drama become synonymous. You can’t have a crowd which seems to be Baywatch and American Pie bought together minus Pamela Anderson. College life may have its own definition for you, for you maybe be a career oriented person, or a suave social parasite with a habit of hooking onto random people (maybe not you but me :p). Parallel to this life, is your love life. Well, that is some game worth playing. I don’t wish to demean the term of ‘love’ by calling it a game, but then this is a thing that might require a lot of thinking. Let me share a few important lessons to learn in this field.

The main things that you should follow before you fall in love in college.

1. Not in the same college

Shoot yourself if you are already there, run if you are about to near it and be rather judicious if you plan to go ahead.

2. Carry no emotional baggage or tolerate none.

In this fast world, people are screwed more than ever. Moreover, in spite of fucking their lives over and over again, they don’t relinquish a chance to pounce on love affairs. So, end result is that people have this emotional baggage which they carry after strings of heart breaks. If you are this happy go lucky person who has fallen in love, brace yourself for some emotional drama that might come your way. I say this only when you find yourself being the shoulder to cry and her emotional puking bag.

3. It is not marriage

If you are mature enough, you will not start envisaging a life of togetherness till eternity. Don’t freak out and don’t freak other out. It’s a slow and steady process. Let it take its own time.

As I once quipped, Love is like that light emitting mosquito killing machine. You get drawn to it knowing you'll get fucked, but you go towards it regardless eventually to die a slow and painful death.

The Boy in Pink Pyjamas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 06:52:00 +0000

Yes, the elections have started and the fervour has spread across the nation to engulf every one with it. Be it just for selfies on fb or for the free noodles at Yo China, elections have caught onto the young minds the country. The aam aadmis of the country our coming out to vote for change, a change which should see India rise beyond its current mundane political scenario of chair throwing, money minting, rioting and a few dharna loving leaders.

With everyone coming out, why should the first family of the nation stay behind? On Thursday morning, the less spoken Gandhi scion with her husband Mr Vadra walked out to cast their votes. Already known in the media circles for his fitness regime and a passion for lobbying, Mr Vadra was all out at Lodhi estate to vote. Dressed in pink pants, the exuberant Mr Vadra was all ablaze to make a powerful statement to show his solidarity with his brother in law’s remarks on women empowerment.

Speaking to our correspondent, Mr Vadra said “RaGa is the glimmering star of our country and he envisages a country free of corruption. Its time our country steps out to show support for a great leader. I thereby call for a pink pyjama movement. Come out in your pinky chaddis and pants and show support for the Yuvraj. With a mark on the finger, and pink pants to adorn our body, we shall move forward to a better life free of misery. India shall rise as a nation which is not only held up as an example at Swiss Bank bodies meetings for continued strides in membership, but also seen as a the foremost economic power. "

On being asked about his involvement in the controversial land deals, with an ear to ear grin, he blissfully said “

“Hum toh hain sabse imaandaar,

Karte kyun ho aaisa attyachaar

Bolunga nahi kuch bhi aur

Varna maregi Saas mujhko maar,

Dil toh kehta hai jaun is baar

Aur kehdun, Abki baar modi Sarkar.”

Stoning for a cause- Mob style

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 13 Apr 2014 14:45:00 +0000

The Indian mob has reinstituted their game of "Pelting stones", as was seen in the wake of the World Cup Final loss to Sri Lanka on Sunday. Yuvraj Singh got to be the first face of the new season, as he carries the blame for the defeat faced by India. The mob had been contemplating upon this act for long , as their fief of ink throwing, molesting and burning effigies were becoming too mainstream.

"In order to reinvent, you sometimes need to go back to your roots " claimed the head mobster

"As the research team struck up its 'ideate, innovate and initiate' steps, we were long looking for a fish to fry up and see the measure the merits of the long lost art of stone pelting.We were worried that this art might have lost its sheen. But, I must say, the results have been very satisfactory." added another disgruntled mobster.

"With the upcoming elections, it is very necessary that the mobs to be on their toes at all times. Any opportunity lost will be an insult to this noble art and an insult to our Guru, Arvind Ji, who has transpired to take Mobs to another level. In the pretext of corruption free governance, free of ill-will, he has given us more room to breathe and carry out our projects. We shall strive to do our very best and bring back those glory days" exclaimed Head of All India Mobsters( AIM)

With talk in the pipeline with "Disgruntled Unemployed Youths of United India", the main student body at college level, AIM is believed to be taking measures to make this election the next big thing in the history of Mobs.

This is my article from the Faking news Blog
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/04/13/stoning-for-a-cause-mob-style/

Government Jobs

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 17:43:00 +0000

First let me establish that this is no government job notification. I am assuming that the keyword will get a lot of hits owing to our ardent undying love for government jobs. Sometimes, people might not even look to see what the job might entail and go cuckoo over the tag. Though the fanboyism is a little less now, with Manmohan Singh having dashed to save our economy in early 90s and trashing the "License Raj", we still see lot of youth focusing solely on such jobs for their prospective marriage proposals depend upon them. I kid you not, lot of arranged marriages in India still give lot of 'weight age' to government babus. In simple terms, the stigma of a secure job has been the true evil cause of a lot of arranged "love less" marriages.
My ancestral place is a small village where the tradition of arranged cum surprise marriage is still something that has been a continued trend. People only get to see their faces once the deal is made and the marriage is done. There is no backing out for marriages are like a bond, there are paid for and you get the amount on maturity or else, it is essentially your loss.
So, drawing in an example, I heard my Mom mentioning an amusing yet true story wherein a guy who is a clerk in a government bank has pegged quite a good price( not in an auction) in a marriage proposal. With a government job at hand, he is seen as a golden bird amidst the farmers. I am sure, he is being pitched as the next big thing in the village after the guy who is now a peon at the magistrate's office.
Enough with the marriage though, lets now move onto few amazing job profiles offered by the Indian government. Hailed as the Google of the government sector, the DRDO will offer you an amazing working environment. Better part being, DRDO gives you a feel at home environment, as in literally. You can just stretch out in your arm chair with a newspaper in your hand, and that will be pretty much your entire career's achievement. With an impeccable record of procrastinating and squandering away government's funds, the DRDO fancies 100% government perks and privileges. In an ideal sense, this is the job where this line holds apt "Yahan chaddar odh kar 20 saal so jayiye aur retirement ke samay uth ke chale jayiye, koi kuch nahi kahega". I remember someone telling me once, that the DrDL under the DRDO actually stands for "Dheeraj Rakho, Der Lagegi".
So, if you don't see yourself as the most hard-working intellectual being around, you might consider the government sector. You might not be able to ever drive a BMW, or own a big villa or be able to give your children foreign education, but you certainly wouldn't be the one falling of Statesman building just because the stock market crashed.

College Life

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 18:36:00 +0000

I remember setting foot through those college gates and feeling invincible. Having dreamed of this day throughout my teenage, it was certainly a very heavenly moment. College is a place where you can unload your teenage baggage and start over new. There are no ghosts of the past to haunt or douse you into emotional turmoil. You may come across as a person with the same humanoid form but with a better you, having your personality as the axe as you wedge towards something new. It’s a place where you find more like yourself; grow profound into your absurdity, or put on an academic veil. If even that appals you, then grow a thick mane, pick up a guitar and strum with your heart and sing through those college years. The idea is to giving yourself a fair chance at discovering your potential, for these years are the ones which will give direction to your future.

Now college life is sometimes too overrated, especially if you are a big fan of Hollywood/Bollywood movies. So, if you are about to step intoyour college with a fancy image of having a “21 and Over “out there, let me break this to you, this is real life. Here, the possibility of something fun frolic yet stupendous has its own set of limits. You can’t stretch out your new found freedom beyond an extent because, first point, parents do exist and second, there is something known as GPA, which when shoots down too low, may prove to be a hindrance to your college life. There is another option too to having a fun college life , you might consider having a ‘bindass’ life like Aamir khan in ‘Rang De Basanti’, where even after passing out of college you may choose to stay on campus and become the Royal Graduate . But here is the discouraging part; Aamir had a family business in the form of a Dhaba to sustain his continuous crazy escapades. If you aren’t from a family with a business to look back at, you might want to cross that idea out, unless your Bf/Gf is a millionaire, in which case you may disregard my advice. If you are a geek, and tend to venture out at clubs waiting for a girl to break your heart, so that you get drunk out of depression and have your ’Social Network’ moment, it’s high time you get back to your books , because there will always be one Facebook and one Zuckerberg, moreover Zuckerberg didn’t become a genius because of a heartbreak.

So, disparting from the overrated stuff, I would like to avail this opportunity to give this message out to the beloved fellow college goers, don’t be disheartened if your college life isn’t as awesome as you had imagined it to be, or if you didn’t get into the society you wished to get into, or your academics are in turmoil, or your hot classmates are already dating your seniors making you the innocent onlooker, it’s not the end of the world. Things much worse could have happened. If this offers any consolation, I would just like to welcome you to THE REST OF US. Cheers!!!

This is my article from the site metroaandyou.com

http://www.metroandyou.com/lifestyle/college-life/

Revelation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 15:55:00 +0000

Many of us nerdy little creatures spend their school life sitting on the front benches without glaring at those distant beautiful faces at the back. Somehow, it works just fine till the time somebody so striking and pretty comes across and sways your heart. How does the fickle mind concentrate then?
Those days can be tough. I remember that as a tenth grader, I set my eyes on this occult creature of the opposite sex. I somehow found myself drawn to her like a bee to a flower, a druggie to marijuana, or a Delhi commuter to the last metro.That blossoming beauty with shiny clothes and glossy lips.( Yeah...My mind was evolved only this much, for my moral righteousness limited my extent of imagination of her)
Naive as I was, I took the trouble of trying to understand or at least contemplate upon what a girl really wants in a guy. Yes, I was that stupid!! Everybody knows that you can't understand a girl, including the girls themselves. Those were the days when the Boards were hovering over everyone's mind and there I was, the nerd of the class trying my luck with the pretty girl in the class. Trust me, for a nerd, that is nothing less than risking one's own life, such was my infatuation. Since, I didn't know how the " Game" was played, I stuck with seemingly polite passive way of strengthening my friendship with her. That was a mistake.
So, the girl as to my surprise was somehow drawn to these jerks in my class who with their abrasive foul language had better luck with her than I did. Meanwhile, my grades dropped a few points and everyone said...DON'T GET DISTRACTED. Love can be blinding and will drag you away from reality. I was indeed falling for a girl who in true sense was the most unbalanced creature around, was " plump"( puberty is very evident in girls, it tends to swell up their bosoms and bottoms quite a lot), shouted around at random people for no good reason. I am deeply embarrassed with myself now.
Anyway, the façade of true love died because as the apparent Daredevil I had become in my tryst with destiny, I asked her out eventually. When I look back at that moment, I am pretty sure Sheldon would have been smoother in the moment than I was. Over the years, I have improved in a sense that I have become comfortable with the idea of crazy girls who come, screw you over and leave in despair.

The 3 AKs

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 17:42:00 +0000

Well, bringing in the political flavour in the onset of elections, fair campaigning is the right campaigning, and negative campaigning is the worst political gimmick played. But then, its Indian politics. There is apparently no fun to the elections without a hate speech to instigate millions, throwing Desi molotov cocktails at opposition party workers or having a Gandhi to mock at. As per the recent trend, black ink is drawing popularity amidst disgruntled youth seeking publicity in the pretext of seeking justice for their own political ideologies. Probably throwing footwear has become too mainstream!!
Just today I heard over the news, an analogy drawn by Mr Modi to eventually take a dig at Congress and the AAP. Mr Modi showed his efficacy at verbal slaying, by saying that 3 AKs will prove fatal to this country. The AKs being

1. AK-47- the famous Kalashnikov, bringing people closer to death since 1946. Popular for the ease with which it can blow your mind, as in literally, the AK is a deathly wand at hand that even Voldemort would trade his nose for or Salman Khan would trade his virginity for. Sanjay Dutt has long been a promoter of this tool to the Indian Judiciary. In fact, the judiciary has been so impressed by his marketing abilities, that he is regularly sent out on paroles to continue it.

2. AK Antony- There are two kinds of people who leave you speechless. One who will enamour you by their sheer display of verbal abilities, and the ones who exude a sense of confidence, focus and responsibility. Mr Antony is neither. But there is something that he is indeed passionate about and you can't take that away from him, his passion to stall defence deals.

3. Arvind Kejriwal aka AK 49- Well, the name is enough. Say that name in a regular Indian household, apart from the fact that he indeed is the AAM AADMI we would desperately like to believe he is, him being an IITian may also earn him points from lot of parents across the country. He has a holistic propaganda which is unsubtle and economically unsound. One can give him the benefit of doubt of being new to politics, but that certainly doesn't earn one the right to make mockery out of the entire political structure. He can be seen as the hyperactive kid in the household who is the least productive, yet makes the most noise.

I am no Modi fan, but certainly things are very wrong with the others in the political fray right now.

AD-WARs BJP

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:51:00 +0000

If you have attended any marketing lectures, you will know the best about the ideal of marketing. In a perfect world, taking a dig at your competitors would be considered unhealthy and unethical. But then, such people who look upon this world from the haloed spheres don;t necessarily descend down to put some sense. So why bother.

I think most of the people would remember the saga of the Sprite-Dew ads which rolled out a couple of years back till Coca Cola bought sprite and deprived us on some healthy gimmicks. Anyway, one ad in particular by Sprite played out like this:-

( Punk kid with an afro enters the shop and in his funky accent, asks for a dew)

Shopkeeper:- Arey, don't do yahaan, do Jhaadhi ke peeche.

Guy-I want the DEEWww man...i wanna dewww....

Shopkeeper;-Arey, kaha na..don't do yahan, do jhaadi ke peeche

So, this ad is one of the memorable ads which bought out the beauty inherit to the Indian Ad industry. Do you think, if the ad focused more on why I should buy carbonated sugar water by probably having a heroine stick her lips round the bottle neck, it would have made such an impact. No, humans like humour and entertainment, even if it involves two people throwing muck at each other.

So, let dig into the new BJP's(Bhartiya Janta Party) advertisment campaign. If you saw those ads , you wouldn't only appreciate the humour involved but also the timings. In middle of a world cup match between India and Pakistan, you have cartoon ads featuring animated characters involving cricket, bantering about political moral righteousness. If that is not character assassination, than what is.

One of the ads features a toss at the beginning of a Cricket match, with one of the team captains waiting with the umpire for the other captain to come out. It then shows the other captain being absent altogether. Umpire announce "Bina captain ki team kayegi maat...isiliye abki baar...Modi sarkar"...the tongue in cheek expressions aren't just about humour, but a very firm message to the public. This is how you market yourself, because I am pretty sure , pictures of people throwing freebies at people isn't so appealing as Rahul Gandhi envisaged.

All quiet on the Western Front

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 14:27:00 +0000

Over the past couple of weeks, the media frenzy over the events at Ukraine have been mind boggling. It usually starts with some Russian movement into the hot zone, annexation of parts followed by speculation by the so called powerful EU taking actions. Something about Angela Merkel not being game about the whole "seduce Putin with your charms, let me handle the rest " idea given out by Obama. rekindle some love and Putin might just fall for the charms.
While Putin would have wanted to take away as much as possible in his kitty bag, I think he didn't want to come across as a needy person, should the Russian population judge.This can be heralded as the advent of the "Cold War".
Well, personally I am a big fan of the USA -Russia cold wars, not because many people die but because of the series of brilliant strategies which are employed by both sides. USA usually goes about arming rebels or creating armed militias who then, out of poor unfavourable treatment meted out to them by their benefactors, resort to eventual " take planes and drive it to their face" strategy. Being unaware of social conventions of the middle-east , USA takes such friendly gestures of nudging each other over tea to be offending and goes to war with them.
Not to my fancy, the USA seems to be bearing the grudge against its old time foe-Russia for invading a country in the pretext of establishing peace( certainly not heard of before). In the follow up of events, which are worthy of the modern phrase "stealing my thunder", the USA has now sought to impose economic sanctions on Russia.(that must hurt) If things couldn't get more serious, Russia has now sought to do a similar "Right back attcha" gesture, by throwing in its own set of sanctions in the fray. Now, as the cold war gets murkier since Russian milk shakes and chocolates no longer adorning the racks at Walmarts, the woeful denizens of the mighty nations are set to set the streets ablaze. Obama administration with its decreasing approval ratings, has been to blame. For what its worth, Putin will be the one having the last laugh sitting by the Crimea river as he does.

Reds, blacks, whites, ..

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 16:00:00 +0000

Ahh,,,well you have probably heard about the reds, blacks, whites and their respective racial connotations. In India, you wouldn't really have a racial bend to them, but certainly these terms carry with them their own weight. We have reds(aka maoists), a bunch of enthusiastic youths usually found in the forest of Chattisgarh, aping the ideology of a person whose reference only draws a big blur to their minds.Then we have blacks and whites, varying on the level of foundation applied. Not to forget the Pinks, the one and only Bajrang Dal, who casually indulge in the art of molestation in the pretext of moral policing. We do have a few greens, a little shade of yellow....and hell lot of saffron lately.
I kid you not, the reds are the best of the lot. Not trying to bring in humour quotient in this regard. These people are born fighters. They generally feature in the news for mass killing of para-military personnel, and sometimes when they are jovial , they favour the nation by knocking away a few politicians as well. They have sound leadership as well. One of their prominent leader, the Late Kisheji was a Doon School pass out. Former distance runner Paan Singh Tomar was one of the most sought after "Baggi"of his times. So, 10 marks in both academics and sports for them. Considering their kills rate, I would rate their training establishments as one of the best, and certainly better than those of paramilitary forces. Their recruitment schemes usually involve picking up a bayonet in hand or taking a bullet in the head. For obvious reasons, the former in preferred.
The pinks are again another team in the fray for the "Not-so-sane"award for mental debauchery and astray ideological mindset. Holding themselves as the guides to moral righteousness, they preach such nobility in the most tactful manner. Do you think, if they were to hold regular 'Sabhas' to preach their ideology, anybody would actually come. Well, they don't think so either. That is why, the Pinks usually mobilise enlightened youth to take up their cause, and fling themselves at women and drag them away for wearing clothes for it might be perceived as too revealing and indecent for the Indian society.
If you are still guessing to why are they referred to as pinks here, you might consider asking the men in Mangalore who now are the proud owners of the great Indian Hosiery collection.

Metro Woes

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 17:55:00 +0000

I am an AAM AADMI who holds strident views,is generous in his dharnas, and is an active participants of India Gate protests cum free showers. I am the one who hooks on to the DTC side doors, fashioning my elegant butt to the outside world, takes a metro ride just for the AC and is very watchful of the sunday langars in the Gurdwara to satisfy my belching belly. I am me and me is awesome.

I am ideally a calm, peace loving person who would straighten up and walk away when I see a fight in public, but blow my lungs out in protest should the onion prices rise. I do not like to be used, yet I go and vote for the most corrupt party for my conscience pricks me to do justice to the pleaders who are eloquent in their promising speeches and give away freebies to anyone and everyone. Such is my nobility, that I walk through a charade of immoral disposition, but should the foreigners in town indulge in anything morally suspicious, it becomes my utmost duty as a responsible citizen to cleanse my mother land of such "bigots".

On my woeful journey through the sad city, I showcase my predatory skills as I pleasure my eyes with the sight of such exquisite beauty who have curves in the right places, and unfortunately enough dignity not to even stare back. I don't even spare the ones with a kid to walk along, for it becomes my duty to gaze upon those blissful creatures of true angelic beauty to adorn their humanoid figure. If I am lucky, I get to close up upon them to smell the fragrance that fills the surroundings and levitate into the air with utmost happiness. Yet, I garb upon the mask of the noble vigilante seeking justice when I see a guy frisking a neighbourhood girl, for then it becomes a matter of pride as I am the Tiger of the region and no one invades my territory. And guess how I demarcate my territory from those around....yes..I piss off people and I piss on moral dignity that I should ideally hold up for it is not my temperament to allow others to touch what is "rightfully" mine. I'm a NOBLE man and I won't restrain myself from manning up to any injustice that befalls the society in large.

PAPA of Indian Comedy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 15:30:00 +0000

)

If your aren't too rigid in your thinking and prude as an individual who does "HAWW" on hearing sexual jokes, then you might consider listening to this Indian great. Not only is his diction worth listening to, he does justice to the act of stand-up and makes sure that he exemplifies the line "making a joke out of you".

He is incredible in his own way, and doesn't just imitate some guy by making weird expression, making you ponder to whether a clown equivalent would have been a better substitute.

One Last Breath

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 14:01:00 +0000

When one is idle, the mind tends to wander away to contemplate the most implausible of situations. Sometimes one cooks up the most stupidest of ideas and dwells in it, travelling to that parallel universe where even Superman would shy away from his persona and strength or envisage a life of a millionaire where girls drool over his name. Such people can be found in your surroundings too, if you concentrate. The last bencher in your class smiling away at the window is not crazy, he is a dreamer; the little kid next door whose daily ritual of streaking across the neighbourhood celebrating his eureka moment is a dreamer; the dorky friend of yours who uses his set of card tricks to entice girls is definitely a dreamer, like literally.

Even I had a dream, something very overwhelming which had me thinking, if today was my last day what would I do. Its actually more to do with a prolonged illness of mine which made me panic, and my life flashed across my eyes. I didn't go about running all tormented as if Hrithik Roshan had announced to make another Krishh, but definitely had some deep insightful moments.I realised that there was so much to do, yet I just sat through life as if it meant nothing. I want to be crazy and fly away like a bird and spread my wings as I glide across the Miami beaches, staring down women cleavages as I do. Be a Tarzan in the jungle and dance with a troupe of dancing gorillas, I want to sit down with Rahul Gandhi and discuss his elaborate plans on women empowerment, get adopted by Brangelina and sleep with Kristen Bell. OK..not that . I want to read every classic there is and sound like Shakespeare as I stroll down the college corridors with a quill in hand, I want to look at naked women all day in the pretext of painting them on canvas.

On a serious note, if today was my last day I would want to fill it with love, for there is no force as potent which can sway your life in a completely different direction. I would walk up to my once girlfriend and tell her to how much she means to me. No matter how things might look, but we all are slaves of our own destiny, and I guess destiny had me part ways with her, which I chose to accept. But, if it really was my last day, I could consider getting the idea across. I don't want to be a hero in life for everyone to look and applaud, I just wish to be a hero in my own eyes. I want to see myself treading that unconventional path, regardless of whether it is the ideal way to success or not. I don't want to be blinded by rage as I breath my last. I only wish to remember those who made my life worthwhile.

There are a lot of things this heart of mine wishes to do, but time is little for it is us, naive humans who choose to neglect the honourable things in life to indulge in prodigality. I still choose to sit idle and wander when I can just get up and do them all. It is grave misfortune in itself not to try and curse your fate, for things can be so different, they can be so right, its all about initiative and focus.

A pack of retards

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 18:47:00 +0000

"Leading from the front is an attribute of great heroes and warriors. The others combatants are the ones who follow. Apart from them, are another bunch of noble men gone astray, the clan of the retards"
- Gen Con Retard
Are you different from the rest? Do you feel constantly out of place or have ever resorted to futile searching of you little space shuttle that bought you here from krypton(Not so lucky are you, always seeking a better excuse for poor existence). Well, let me tell you, you aren't the only one. There have in the past been many great individuals who didn't shy from being themselves and ended up achieving great success in their lives. Mind you, not ALL. Few were burnt away as witches and devils too.
That was the great Victorian age, time of prude individuals with pride. Hypocrisy wasn't in existence back then....not as a quality..but as a term in itself. As an attribute, I bet the entire society would have found itself on the other side of the "Table of Moral Righteousness".
If you are to Google the meaning of a retard, the socially inept Google will tell you that it mean delay in progress or development. Well, to me it only means people with different bend of mind. In the society in general, anyone who isn't a typical ~~Douchebag~~ noble humanoid with a significant life to themselves, is considered a retard." As per the ideology of the few who deceive the many and judge the rest" , inability to conform to the "social conventions of turpitude", one might see himself/herself slated across the world as the retardest retard.
When people strive to be themselves, the world connives to work against such individuals for they are rampant in their desires of being brutally unconventional , and reject the "normal" status that requires them to be everything but themselves. I kid you not, should you venture into the "normal" zone, coming back into the "being yourself"zone is difficult. Its like being a Chris Tucker amongst a bunch of Asian Dudes, trying to be like Jackie Chan ,only to realise not everyone can stab with chopsticks and have a duel with every random stranger on the street,all of whom know martial arts. You are good with guns and rap music is your symphony of life, be yourself.
Being a retard is a privilege in itself. But this privilege doesn't by any means give you the liberty to swing your way through anything. The unconventional thinking cap doesn't validate the your acts of blatant stupidity.
A retard has his way with people, melts in the crowd and yet shines as and when the need arises. His life isn't a tryst of debauchery, but of something of utmost importance. Its a constant pursuit of perfection in the art of happiness, for that is the goal of life.

Living in glass houses, yet so generous

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 15:13:00 +0000

Why do few people keep harping about other individuals and their lives? Why would any rational person suddenly chose to draw away from his own life and mistakes to present a very skewed and self justified view about someone else. Only the people who have a hard time living in their own skin find it hard to acknowledge the accomplishments of one around them.
I usually come across loud mouths who apparently have nothing else to do than to speculate about other people's lives. For a minute it is entertaining, but then you would wonder when they dig into the intricacies of the matter and have "What the F**k moment"wherein you think, why are we discussing this anyways.
Here are few certain issues that might pose a problem to you, the listener
1. A female friend of yours comes to you and tells you about this guy and his night-out escapades where he apparently kissed and hooked up with multiple people. If you are a guy yourself, that moment you are held in awe, but can't show it on your face out of fear of being judged yourself. So, you just continue to listen till the feeling is so overwhelming that you are dying to meet this inspirational being and just out sheer "quest for knowledge", you suddenly turn hostile and ask your friend....TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE ME HIS NUMBER...thus starting your initiation towards apprenticeship under such enlightened beings.

2. You like someone and you chose to speak to that person. But apparently there are these self righteous people who think that the only reason they were sent down to earth was to act as protectors of every girl there is. Apparently they took the Indian preamble to seriously. Mind you, these people are in fact very decent themselves. There are a class of people that i have come across, who befriend people in the pretext of being not just a friend, but being a brother to people. They eliminate competition and try to make their way through. HAHAHA...obviously the result is disastrous. That is not how the game is played.

There are many such instances that I may quote. But then, i guess you enlightened readers get the idea. Fi
ckle world this

The Damsel Above

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 05 Mar 2014 18:29:00 +0000

Back when I was a 10th grader, like every nerdy geeky kid, my aim in life was to ace through my exams. Nothing else mattered to me more, not even the blue eyed girl in the adjacent block who roamed the apartment every evening taking walks and smiled at me giving impetus to my fetish of having her someday...But lets not get carried away. You see, when an ideal innocent focused individual like me got down to study, I would make sure that no one bothered me with their futile and annoying habits.

I had these lovely neighbours in my apartment, who apparently did not believe in the idea of 'living and letting live'. I had these two girls in the 20s living in the flat above mine. Like every Modern Delhite, brimming with rebellion from peaceful living, their weekends usually involved a lot of partying. Now lets not go into what and whom they did(:p), but lets focus on how they would actually go on to bother the studious me.

Girls have these little conical towers that they like to stand on, giving their hind a very peculiar yet curvy look. Now these ladies in the floor above probably had them on like all the time. Please don't get an idea that I had worked something out to keep a 'virtual track'of the damsels above. It so happened that the apartment of mine was rather peculiar as one could really hear the sound of movements from floor above. So, basically when people would walk around in heels, it would actually feel as if someone was hammering my head.

Usually my silent days would feature sounds filling my room such as this

THAK THAK THA....thak...THAK.......

I swear to god, after a point of time, frustrated as I was, I started finding music in even those noises. I thought that as an inquisitive nerdy individual , I could probably walk up to one of them, and ask them to enlighten me on the concept of the pleasures of the pointy heels and their unintentional subjugation of their neighbours to potentially brain haemorrhaging sounds. I guess it sounded well in my head, for it certainly wasn't taken well by them. Anyway, I played my 'kid'card and walked out of it unharmed without any scar of heels to mar my body.But soon they moved out and thus, ended my misery. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I stand tall for I survived.TRUE STORY!!

The Facebook Call

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 10:30:00 +0000

In the realm of social interactions, social networks have come to play a major role today as they provide an easier way of interaction and a way for people to carry on with their ulterior motives. They are a different world in themselves as you can choose to be someone else completely and get away with it. I have come across people who consider themselves nothing below the level of 007 over the net, but when it comes to some real interaction, they would bring even Black Shadow( From GI JOE fame) to shame.

If this is not burdening enough to your senses. here is another fun fact. Lot of people try to play the "best-friend -to-all" card by just liking their ridiculous status and selfies. In a way, just by being benevolent with the "LIKE" button, you are in a way strengthening your friendship. So, if you aren't on FB at all, you are in some deep waters. You are no good to the modern society. After all, if i don't get any likes from you, what good are you anyways.

Usually, in the olden days when a guy would have a crush on a girl, he would try to go out to her and speak to her. He would try to know a little about her interests and speak to her trying to be the Yoda of it all, till the girl would presumably start getting late for her class, or would show a sense of urgency in meeting a friend who is probably waiting for her at a safe distance of about a km from you...But now with FB, you can indulge in the habit of" Socially Tapping into Abridged lampooning Kernel and Information Net Gathering ", i.e, STALKING. If you do it right, you can have those conversations where not only do you establish yourself as a good friend, but coerce the person into thinking of you are probably "the one". That is bloody manipulative.

But all this comes with its own set of risks, like, what if you send a friend request to this new found friend, and she doesn't accept it. Well, this is a very cruel technique now employed by women all over the world to get rid of guys like you. It's like a nail to the heart, where social network acceptance not rendered brings about a negativity and instills an idea of lack of interest in pursuing anything further with the person on the other side.

One of my friends, recently sent a friend request to his crush and she accepted. But then, the "friend" request was to literal in her domain as the guy eventually did just get to be her friend. You obviously don't want that to happen to you, do you?

Crushes apart, there are few people who become friends over the net and date over the net...and guess what...break up over the net. Such people in all regards are very weird and I am sure, they are looking forth to the copulating over net technology to further their love interests. Its only a matter of time.

I remember back in school, in 11th grade there was this really hot girl who would draw lot of eyes in the geeky school crowd. I somehow had the privilege of sharing the same bus as her. But you see, few people are in fact eye candies and that is all they are. You can stare at them and wonder to how good they are, than talk out of fear, that should that facade of beauty fade with her utter stupidity, you may not be able to enjoy the delightful staring anymore. This is precisely what happened in my case.Anyways,one day this person once was sitting beside me and i thought to myself, why not speak to her. So as i started the conversation, she turned out to be one of those people who give you their entire life story, for it looks as if you care.(I need to get rid of that look) She started telling me about her life, her hobbies....and then after a little toiling around...her BF. I wasn't exactly heartbroken, but was intrigued and wanted to know who this gentleman might be. It so turned out that this was a person who lived in some other part of the city, and had befriended her over the net. Not that i need to state it out, he asked her out and they were now in a relationship..KUDOS..the guy was skilled with the fingers :p. Now, I am sometimes not really good at masking my feelings, for i found myself hysterically laughing on hearing her love story. And FB played its role again, and i got UNFRIENDED!!! Cheers!!!

So, folks be a little careful in making the Facebook call, for it can destroy you.

THE ART OF PRESENTING

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 07:14:00 +0000

Now, in a regular college you usually have lot of interactive sessions apart from the usual lectures. In fact, presentations have now come to be a part of the curriculum, so that the boneheads amongst us can actually realise that no really cares about their opinion on literally anything. Presentations can be problematic when the people you may be addressing aren't receptive at all. How do you make things interesting then?...Make a few sexual innuendos and watch the magic happen.
I'm kidding, please don't do that. Girls might take offense of that...oh wait..the teacher might too.
I once had a presentation to make on one of my happening B.Com(H) subjects.(I had to put the (H) in there, its a very touchy issue). Before i bore you with the transcript of my presentation, i shall bring in light another presentation that was put forth my one of my classmate. Lets call him Mr. Smartass-no-one-gives-a- fuck-about(Thats long, so just smartass).
So he came before the class as clueless as ever. Now, my emphasis is on how to CON the teacher that you know shit. He started off the presentation, looking clearly oblivious about the topic. So, Mr Smartass pulled off a trick where he spoke and i quote " Today, I am not going to give a presentation the conventional way for it is boring and mentally inconducive. I shall be asking you all questions about my topic and i hope you will respond as enthusiastically as you do on seeing a girl in a laced backless outfit with a skirt"..(No, he didn't say that part, it was just my head. I think she crossed over by the window at that point of time).
Anyways, so he spoke about this for over 10 mins and then came to the topic of discussion and spoke for another 5 mins on the topic. Now, i would think that the teacher would really be annoyed at his stupendous trick, but then she lauded him. I was surely surprised.
So learning a little from that, i tried to employ a few tricks there. Unfortunately my conscience doesn't allow me to cheat or try to make a fool out of someone, even if it was to entice that girl who had walked by the window. But then, i hadn't really prepared much , nor did i have the book to simply read out of. So, the shameless me got up, borrowed the book from the teacher and started my ppt. I quoted all the examples that i could think off and came out as a badass who knew shit!!!

Social ineptitude

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 17:29:00 +0000

In the urban sphere, there are many a times, you will see individuals who are otherwise perceived as social retards. Its generally not because on meeting a new person they start swinging around like a little girl with candy floss, but because they sometimes unintentionally say something really random, out of context and embarrassing. Moreover, they have this look on their face towards the end where they establish the fact that the very reason you could comprehend what they has to say was probably you have finally stooped down to their intellectual level. KUDOS
There are certain benchmarks that society sets for you. If you are a person who finds himself at ease to be able to speak to anyone or everyone, according to modern lingo, you sir...ARE A PLAYER. Now you might just wonder to how i suddenly reached to that conclusion. Well, even i was surprised when someone called me one. It was in fact totally uncalled for, but yet it happened. Anyways, if a person general demeanor is such that he finds himself at ease with people around, he is morally flawed.
Who are these judgmental creatures???
Well, there are always these sects within the civil society which is might not be so much at ease with socializing with people. Not long ago, i was a part of it. Sometimes, few amongst these are so frustrated with their lives that they find it hard to fathom that anyone else may have actually mastered the art of human companionship. They then resort to such judgmental behavior.

BHed-Bakri

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 17:57:00 +0000

How much should one change to accommodate the needs of those around us?

Ideally, if i were to pose this question to one of my friends MP, he would say " F@** the world. Bhedh bakris( sheeps and goats) shouldn't be allowed to play a decisive role in one's life". He makes a lot of sense when he is high. He should have started this back in school itself, i could have used a little help back in those morose un-happening days. Anyways, if we were to dig into the very idea of friendship, I have realized that the other weird humanoids who endorse my views and for the least, acknowledge my presence around them are the ones who can be referred to as friends.

Drawing into a broader sense of it all, i shall proclaim that there are those who scratch the surface and garb the role of Socrates and tell the world what is ideal and what isn't. Well, to an extent they are okay, but when that object to scratch on becomes your character, I think it does become a little painful to tolerate such vilifying idiots. That is exactly when the " Bhedh- bakri" concept comes into play. Don't bother about such individuals, for you might just find yourself in the hand of pea-brained studs. Though such indignation should be dealt with harshly, the world isn't that ideal, for the Bhed-bakri will make it an agenda in their lives to be after your life.You have to be the smart one or else you might become one. Its contagious, i know....i have seen people becoming one.

ok...that is a lot of negativity right there. Not indulging in such cynicism for a while, we might see that there are many random individuals who are as chilled out in life as you are, and hardly concern themselves with the lives of others.You generally find such individuals lying around like lawns across the college campus, or even amidst the stoner gangs. They won't judge, they won't antagonize you, but what they would do is let you be you.

Caring about what other have to think about you is clearly none of your business. Its not rational in any way to stop living your life just because the random guy with an inflated ego said so, are your crush told you so. There are always those happy beautiful people who will believe in you and have so much of faith in you that they would entrust you with their lives. So follow up on humans, for bheed bakris may come and go, we stay on forever.

Seeing through

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 17:26:00 +0000

What is your idea of a rave night?

Well, until and unless you are some stuck up guy sitting alone in some college dorm, i guess you would be familiar with the partying trends in most up class universities. I am just kidding. If we start differentiating on that basis as to how cool a person really is, I guess 99% of the Indian students might find themselves labelled as a social retard by some unknown yet awesome blogger. Anyways, I was basically drawing reference from movies like 21 and over, Kumar and Harold,, American Pie or any other Hollywood movie that showcases the level of passion the Americans have for higher education. I am just held in awe by what they portray, for it gives a gist to a fulfilling life.
Who says divinity surrounds those who sacrifice their pleasures to sit on the steps of the Almighty's heavenly abode. Heaven is real, and it is here. To go to nearest heaven, please google free s** videos and it'll give you an idea. Please don't fill in for the membership, those heavens are a little costly and sometimes may give you a very false illusion of divinity since they might be scripted at the hands of the shallow creatures which roam this planet.
If you graduate to another level, clearly assuming you had the requisites of not coming out as a mellow, docile individual who still finds himself in front of the xBox on saturday nights, i guess you should understand that the surrealism of physical intimacy has its root entwined into the human brain very badly. One who gets ensnared into the momentum of this, will find it hard to let go of a life which peaks your testosterone level.

Those house parties with unknown neighbors, those random walks on the beach in the moonlight, those random eye glances at a beautiful stranger at clubs, i guess i have found a heaven in there somewhere. Dancing at a club under those shimmering colorful lights with that face smiling at you as she closes in, that sudden haze that builds up and clouds over your world as you find sudden silence in the loud music,there is an electrifying world that suddenly befalls you. Embrace it and love it, for life is short and its not everyone to seek salvation to live with immortality
.

Fantasy tale

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 16:53:00 +0000

Every kid will be able to relate to this sad yet true tale, where you find yourself amidst constant brewing of ill thought career advises and motivational lectures. They usually start with how important it is to start studying, which sadly never really reaches its culmination as one passed out of school or even graduates. You never have that moment when you can probably run out of your house and shout, "its finally over".
Its quite fanciful when I bunch of kids talking big, speaking is a very bold outright fashion, as if they have everything planned out in their lives. Its actually fun!!
Try listening to a few girls in particular. I actually ended up meeting one such person a few years back, at a formal party. Well this girl was no ''little'girl, but someone who was pursuing her masters. Usually you are a little hesitant to speak about yourself so much when you meet someone new, but this...No Sir... she would tell me everything and anything, that I might find really embarrassing. So, i just sat there speechless, left spellbound by her exuberance which had sadly sky rocketed. She had planned her marriage, where she would live, how many kids she would have and what would be their names.
I have started indulging in a habit of building up on things, so I thought its time to put the new hobby in act. So, I encouraged her,thinking that may be this will calm her down and instil in her a little sense of being pragmatic in life. i tried to nudge her into a corner called the 'career corner', but then the girl chose to keep away from that self immolating 'non-nonsensical'' talks.
By the end of it, i swear to God, for a moment i had become oblivious to where i was and what i was doing, my senses had been subjected to such misery that I drew a big haze in my head. Before I could start contemplating if it is a good option to just run out somewhere, I had a Sherlock moment where everything around me seemed like a potential weapon, and I started speculating to what reaction would I draw on using any of them. Sadly, I am no Sherlock , for I had been locked by this impervious individual with no appreciation for my sarcasm.
The amazing part is, recently I came to know that she is half way through this fantasy of her. After having tolerated her that day, I would have been rather angry should the girl have failed in fulfilling her dreams.

I was there when it happened

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 10:54:00 +0000

Probably years from now, when college going people like myself will have kids of their own, who will suddenly run up to and ask
Kid : Dad, i was going through the most watched videos of youtube, and i found this video."RaGa's interview with Arnab Goswami". It is an epic video. I'll show it to you.
Me : Son, i was there when it happened....and i saw it all, so did the nation.
Kid : WOW!!!

Ok...thats too much into the future, but still.
Now you know what i am talking about. If you saw it, trust me, you witnesses a very historical event in our history. The day when everything came to a standstill to listen to the bright and bold prodigy of the Nehru-Gandhi Clan. It was something that the school folks near my neighborhood would call "Epic S**t".
Like all the rest, i was looking forward to the interview, not because i am a big fan, but because i am a fan of comedy. I wouldn't even say intuitions has me thinking that this will be fun. I bloody knew it has to be. I bet Arnab Goswami had all this planned. Maybe he has some brainstorming session with his colleagues-
AG- Times Now is becoming to centered to political ideology and social responsibility. We need to shake things up a bit.
Colleague- How about we eliminate the ideology and bring in the idiocracy.
AG- Yes....no political ideology but political idiocracy. But how................
Colleague- RaGa
AG- *ear to ear evil grin*...hahahahahah

So ladies and gentlemen, this is how AG bought it all up and gave the Great Indian Democracy its first victim of new age political enlightenment, thus aiding the muffler bound kejriwal, another reason to rejoice.

Do you remember those days, when as a kindergarten kid, you had those frightful recitations wherein you had to memorize numerous lines which though made no sense to you, you had to do so regardless. Then, standing in front of your buddies, you would start reciting in a single breath, as if this was a do or die situation and the only way to survive was to get it over with quickly. Should you get interrupted, you wouldn't start from where you left, but had to start all over again. Well, this is how RaGa's interview was.