My Personal Diary

The Magic Box

2012-02-09T05:08:00.001-08:00

{-_-}
When I was a kid, I used to believe in magic. The belief mainly came from the Mahabharat, Ramayana, fiction TV series like Alif Laila, Vikram Vetal and other Indian mythological stories. There were many situations where magic-kind things happened in these Indian stories, like Lord Ganesha getting an elephant face or Lord Shiva's 'firing' third eye, or 'Genie bottle' etc. This belief gave me dreams of fascinating magics like lifting the spoon or hitting a stone on a target without even touching it.

I was bewitched with the question - how such magics can be learnt?

I was about 6 years when there was a books sale in my school. They had handed the list of books-on-sale list with their prices to all the students. There was one book which didn't took time to catch my eye - "The Magic Box". Its cost was hardly Rs. 10/-.

I was very eager to have that book. I was fancied that this book will teach me to create a box, with the help of which I can do some real magic. But unfortunately my parents refused to purchase that book. I was furious. It was my "mad want" to own that book and to become wizard prodigy. I was not ready to accept the fact that parents wont allow me to buy.

Last one day of sale to go.

I was into bad dreams for not having the magic-learning book. It forced me to steal from my Mom's purse. I concealed the Rs. 10 note in my school bag. I was very happy to have secured Rs. 10 with me to buy the book which will teach my long cherished magically powers. But at the same time I feared that parents may find it out. So I informed my elder sister about the "stealing fact" and asked her to help me hide it from parents. Thought that she will keep the faith.

Unfortunately, she didn't.

I returned home after evening sports. Still quite happy that I have what is needed to buy my dreams. I had no idea that there is a strategy already designed by parents to catch hold of my "hard earned" 10 rupees note.

Dad (politely) : "Beta, show me what your mathematics teacher has taught you today".

It was my favorite subject. With no delay, I jumped off to get the classwork from my schoolbag. In the process, the 10 rupees note fell off. I hastily picked and kept it back in the bag.

Dad (again politely) : "What was that Raja? Why you are so hasty?"

Me (shivering) : "Nothing. It is just a rough paper".

Dad : "Let me see that paper".

That's it. Lost all my control. Thought - now nothing is left to save me. I showed the Rs. 10 note and suddenly burst into tears anticipating the beating I will get. But to my surprise, no one beat me. Instead, Dad talked to me politely as if I didn't steal anything or do anything wrong. He explained me with care and then gave me Rs. 10/- note back to me. He permitted me to buy the book.

I quite well realized my mistake and was also happy to get my desperate want fulfilled.

I bought the book as soon as I reached school. Was restlessly waiting to reach home and learn some magic tricks. I opened the book as soon as I reached home and read it through few pages. Soon I realized, "This is nothing like magic. Its just a stupid story". It was late to repent on my adamant want to learn magic.

{-_-}

This part of my life taught - there's nothing like magic in this world, and that my parents are really great. Later, I never stole money. I always asked for it whenever I needed. I became an honest man. Never lied. Never stole. But ya. I was stubborn in later part of my life too. But each of such incidents taught me "never be stubborn without sense".

Apart from that, though I might have cursed my sister for telling "secret" to parents, I am very thankful to her. Its because of her prior notice, parents decided on the better strategy to make me realize what I was doing. It taught me lesson in a much decent way. And probably I would have formed the habit of stealing if otherwise.

Thanks to such incidents in my life.

The Nylon Mistake

2012-02-09T05:07:00.001-08:00

{-_-}
When I was about 3 years old, usually my Dad used to comb my hair. I noticed a typical style of his when he combed. He used to hold my chin tightly with left hand and then comb my hair with right hand. Being inquisitive by birth, I asked him "why you hold my chin while combing, Dad?" (I felt no need of it.) Dad said "Raja, it helps me to comb your hair properly"

The next day, I got up early in the morning and first thing I did was combing my own hair. Considering Dad's words as a lesson to comb hair, I went in front of a mirror, held my chin with left hand and combed with right hand looking into the mirror. The kid-innocent brain didn't perceive that he held my chin so that I don't nudge my head while combing. I thought it should help combing due to some supernatural connection between chin and hair.

So that's how I combed my hair for the first time. Quite a funny way.
:)

I was so excited after combing, that I ran through the house to show Dad my achievement from 'his taught lesson'. I didn't expect he must be on the way carrying a vessel of boiled water for bathing. I banged and Dad lost grip on vessel to lose all the boiled water on me. I cried badly for hours. No one could judge why I was unceasingly crying, till Mom realized that it was a nylon sleeved t-shirt I was wearing. The thermoplastic polymer melted and got stuck to my right arm. Mom slowly pulled off the sleeve and 3 big boils showed up like the water balloons coming out of my arm.

It took weeks to recover from it. It left a permanent big scar.
{-_-}

It reminds me, how innocently stupid I was as a kid to hold my own chin to comb. It still makes me laugh whenever I recall my this stupidity. But I also regret that I failed to show parents my first comb out of excitement.

My 1st B'Day Celebration

2012-02-09T05:06:00.001-08:00

That sounds interesting, isn't it? But its a fact. I do remember 'some clips' of my 1st b'day celebration.

{-_-}
On 8th Oct 1988, at about 11:00 in the morning, I ran into the rare room of our house built by my Grandpa. I sat besides my Mom, watching her painting something interesting on a yellow card-board paper with a brown color. With a curiosity in 2 year old brain, I asked "what are you painting Moma?" Mom smiled and with sweet gesture, she said "Its a surprise beta. You will know it when its complete" ....

What happened next?

Well! After that I remember Mom waking me up and she wore me my favorite dress and a beautiful tall yellow cap with design in brown color. Ya, that cap was Mom-made surprise. Then she took me in the main hall where everyone was waiting for the cake. All the close relatives were invited and I, as a kid, had never seen such a huge crowd of elderly people. As soon as we entered the hall, everyone started singing aloud "Happy Birthday to you ...." With the sudden roaring sound just after I woke-up, it was like a monster scaring a kid. I cried, but all others laughed. I might have thought, it was the cap that I was wearing made them laugh. I smashed the cap to tear it apart. But no one ceased to laugh. They laughed yet louder.
{-_-}

Only thing interesting in this memory is that it was my 1st 'birthday celebration' that I still remember. And it makes me feel sorry, for I tore my Mom-made cap which she had prepared with care and lots of love. I still remember that smile and gesture that Mom made on me asking her about her painting. I'm still surprised on able to remember this clip of my life.

I guess God gifted me this moment to remind me that my birth is with some purpose and hence celebrated with joy.
[:)]

Open-Up Senses

2010-12-10T23:10:00.000-08:00

Apart from my flaws, please feel my message through this small presentation I made during my training (NMDC Ltd.) in Administrative Staff College of India, Hyderabad. I hope, after watching this video, you will open few of your senses :)

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

2010-11-17T06:04:00.000-08:00

This poem by Robert Frost, is one of my favorite poems.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Mysore Experience

2010-10-02T04:53:00.001-07:00

I was in Mysore from 20th to 30th Aug for my Sustainable Rural Development PGDiploma Contact Session-cum-Exam. When I was leaving for Mysore, I had expectations mainly for Mysore's scenic beauty and Tipu Sultans fort & palace. But when I reached, scenic beauty disappointed me. It was not as beautiful as I believed it to be :( or as exaggerated by others.

I still had Tipu Sultan's vestigials to look upon. He was one of my childhood heroes [others - Shivaji Maharaj, Rani Laxmibai, Bhagat Singh, etc]. But there was one again disappointment.

I believed this palace to be Tipu's palace. But it turned out to be local Mysore Raja's palace [Wodiyar]. Though it was beautiful, I still couldn't find the value that Tipu carries [secularism and respect to fight against Britishers]. Wodiyars lived lavish life and mingled with Britishers to protect 'their life'.

Later, I did visit Tipu's fort, which was ravaged by the Britishers after 'murdering' the great warrior. Only thing left behind is the 'Tipu's Barudkhana' [it was for Britishers selfish gain], place where his body was found and almost totally damaged fortified wall [and some more vestigials for which I didn't get time to explore - leaving it for the next visit :)].

But some things didn't disappoint like - the Mysore Zoo. It was really fantastic. I liked this message and the way they are trying to bring in environmental awareness through a zoo. And their 'collection' was vast and quite impressive :)

I also got to meet people who came to attend the Contact Session and Exam. Though we stayed together for 10 days, the bonding has now become very strong. I remembered the 'late-night-study' as it used to during college days :)

(L to R) Baigha Uncle [my room-mate], Anita, Yancy, Pawan, Balaji sir (his contrast in young-looks and age mesmerized me :P), Dr.TSR (Doctor uncle), Sundaram (Colonel uncle)

And I also got a chance to take some good snaps after quite a long time :)

I’m a sportsman, I can’t leave the game

2010-04-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

There are some deep emotions hidden behind this very small and simple poem, which I'll discuss later here.

I’m a sportsman,

I can’t leave the game.

I’m a warrior,

I can’t fear the battle.

I’m a mountaineer,

I can’t stop till the peak.

I’m a wall,

I can’t allow to cross me.

I’m a song,

I can’t be word.

I’m a river,

I can’t stop to flow.

I’m me,

I can’t be you.

I’m a living creature,

I can’t die without living.

I’m the sun,

I can’t be dark.

I’m a tree,

I can’t stop giving shadow.

I’m not a coin; I’m not a die,

I’m an arrow.

I’m not a weed,

I’m a seed.

________________________________________________________________________

Did you ever had a crazy thought of giving up life, committing suicide? Have you ever given a thought on - what are the last emotions of a person ending up killing himself/herself under stress? Here is something that might help you visualize the pain and stress.

Every individual, might it be an housemaid or son of a multi-billionaire, aspires to be 'someone' in his/her life. People want to be 'someone' for their family, village, nation or globe. Level of aspiration might differ, but its important to be aware, that every individual in this world wants to be 'someone'. And if the situation goes against the ambition of an individual, the person is stressed, frustrated and in worst case, attempts for suicide.

Why am I stressing so much on becoming 'someone' and 'suicide'?

When I was in Resonance (Kota, Rajasthan), I had strong aspiration for pursuing B-Tech in Mechanical Engineering from an IIT. The ambition was too strong to be destroyed. But unfortunately, the 'professional coaching culture' in Resonance (Kota), 'attempted to kill' my sincerity, talent, intellect and motivation.

My education throughout school days was in Gujarat State Board. The course of Gujarat Board stands nowhere against IIT-JEE standards or even CBSE. So I was facing problem in grasping fast in coaching. Though I was trying to improve, with all of my sincerity and hard-work, only thing that mattered in Resonance was RESULT & BATCH. Not a single faculty realized my sincerity and discipline in class as teachers used to during my school days. Above all, I was not even reciprocated for my humble wishing - 'Good Morning' - not even with a smile. I was not able to gulp professionalism of 'guru' towards 'shishya' in my gut. I was taught about 'guru-shishya relations' since my childhood. But none of it seemed to be compatible in Kota professionalism.

There was also a great load of DPPs (Daily Practice Problems), modules and tests. I hardly got any time to master a particular topic, being slow to grasp due to 180 degress difference in IIT-JEE and Gujarat board. Many a times, my doubts were 'silly'. And because of these 'silly doubts' I was made an outcast by the students studying there since 3 or 4 years (during that period, any number of attempts were allowed). Such students had mastered almost whole of JEE syllabus. I was no where in front of their standards. It was difficult for me to make friends because of 'standard' difference. I was struggling hard to clear my concepts and master the subjects like any other IIT aspirant. But my sincerity and motivation for IIT-JEE remain unattended by almost everyone in Kota. I had even spent many sleepless nights studying hard - hoping to catch up with the mass in race. But the prevailing culture never cared. It was 'too much' of profession for a 'new IIT aspiring kid' like me.

Slowly the frustrations grew stronger and I planned to give up everything. I planned for a suicide - to jump in waters of Chambal river. Before leaving the room, I sat on my chair - taking deep breaths - pulling hair - sweating liters. My mind swirled around for all the jolly events - my parents - my sister - my kiddy pranks - my teachers - Samarth Ramdas Swami - my pet dog Gundu.

Suddenly, a small part of me realized - I'm a sportsman, I can't leave the game ...

I grabbed my pen, and started jotting everything that came to rejuvenate my motivation to fight strong. And so came this small simple poem, that in some sense - gave me a new birth and motivation to fight-back with intense energy.*

*It was too late to gain that motivation for IIT-JEE. I did clear IIT-JEE, but I failed to get into an IIT and Mechanical Engineering, both. I ended up taking Mining Engineering in IT-BHU. But I did make few friends, who helped me keep patience and inspired me during the right phase of IIT-JEE. Hearty thanks to Guchu, Gill, Amit, and Manas.

And since then, I have never lost my self motivation.

About the Blogger Template

2010-03-31T10:31:00.000-07:00

To start with, I would like to share the idea behind choosing this "snowy mountain" blogger template.

Ever since my primary school days, my Dad motivated me to participate in trekking - in Gujarat, Mt. Abu, Kulu-Manali, etc. His concept was - "work hard for 3 months and then go for a refreshing break". He never expected me to concentrate "only" on studies. In fact, though I may study or not, he used to send me for treks during vacations. And he always said - "forget about dates and days, just enjoy and come back with a fresh mind". With time, trekking became my passion.

In summer of 2006, I happened to trek in Himalayas - "Yankar Pass". The beauty of Himalayas captivated my whole soul. My mind was totally swaying in the dazzling heights of snow peaks and beautiful Parvati valley with gushing waters of Parvati river. It was the time, when I realized - "There can be no man to challenge the Himalayas for its heights, beauty and vastness. Man may conquer anywhere in the world, but not on the Himalayan grounds. Himalayas are invincible."

From this visit, my temptations for Himalayan trekking increased by manifold. After the abysmal & torturing final year of college life (2008-09)*, I planned to visit Himalayas and this time as a Camp Leader for YHAI's National Himalayan Trekking Expedition. I got a chance to stay at 11000 ft. Zirmi campsite, on the route to Sar Pass, for about 15 days. I was in midst of the true Himalayan nature. The tranquility and beauty was unique in itself. This period gave me enough time and peace for contemplating on differences in human civilizations and nature. Man spends his whole life in rat-race. Its something really to wonder - man derives so many attitudes and emotions to achieve material happiness, but in the end his soul gets dissolved in nature's lap. Then why man struggles so hard for material happiness?

With the nature, I was so much in peace and free from all the negative emotions of life. Can't man be free from all such negative emotions in his own civilization? Answer is definitely NO. Man has designed his own system of life with such great despair to attain absolute happiness. Man is lost in race to make his own name, fame and game.

After returning to urban life, no doubt, I am stuck in the race like anybody else. I hate it, but is there any escape? For this fact, I miss the Himalayan life - freedom from all negativity. I miss that life each and every day.

So I chose this template, to write my life in this "virtual" Himalayas - posturing myself walking through it.

*I had to undergo a lot of tensions being a General Secretary and Convener for college cultural activities. (My yet-to-publish book or might be forthcoming posts will contain this part of life in detail)