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Ancient Jewish Marriage Customs

2013-02-10T21:30:00.001-08:00

The Engagement: A Pledge of Faithfulness

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. (John 14:1-3 NIV)

In the Gospels, Jesus relied on the ancient Jewish marriage pattern to illustrate many of his parables. We see this marriage pattern climax in the promises he gave to his disciples at the Last Supper (see passage above). Many Christians miss the full impact of these allusions in relation to his Second Coming because they're not familiar with ancient Jewish wedding practices.

The following excerpt quoted from followtherabbi.com gives us much insight.

The Bridegroom Waits & Prepares

"In ancient Israel, when it was time for a man and woman to marry, both fathers would negotiate the bride price to compensate the bride-to-be’s family [for the loss of her valuable services]. After exchanging a glass of wine to seal the agreement, the couple was formally engaged.

The young man then told his fiancée, in effect, 'I’m going home to my father’s house to prepare a place for you. When I’m finished, I’ll return and take you to be my wife.'

The son (typically in his mid-twenties) would then build a new house on his father’s existing one. As generations married and built their houses onto the original one, they created a housing complex called an insula. Here, family members ate, worked, and lived together …

As the son worked on his new home, he eagerly awaited his father’s final approval. Only the father could decide when the building was finally complete.

The Bride Waits & Prepares

As her fiancé prepared a new home, the bride-to-be (typically fourteen years old) would remain at her parents’ home, preparing wedding clothes and learning homemaking skills.

During this time, she was known in the community as 'one who had been bought with a price.' She might wait six months, nine months, or even longer for her fiancé to return; no one know the exact time when he would come for her.

Eventually, she would hear the sound of the shofar [ram's horn] as her bridegroom entered her village and announced that their wedding day had arrived. The wise bride was well-prepared for her groom’s arrival.

Christian Significance

These insights help us to understand how wonderful heaven and our eternal relationship with God will be. When Jesus spoke of the kingdom of heaven, he compared himself to a bridegroom who was engaged to be married.

'I love you as my bride,' he said, in effect, 'so I’ll pay the bride price. I’ll give up my life for you. I’ll go to my father’s house where there are many rooms to prepare a place for you. One day I’ll return and take you to be with me forever in heaven.'

Jesus’ Second Coming will be like the long-awaited arrival of a bridegroom … And heaven will be like a joyous wedding reception, celebrating the love between a husband and a wife."

At Last, the Wedding Ceremony

A thorough explanation of ancient Jewish marriage customs can be read under “Marriage” in Smith’s online Bible Dictionary. Worth quoting are the following points:

1. The essence of the marriage ceremony consisted in the removal of the bride from her father's house to that of the bridegroom or his father. The bridegroom prepared himself for the occasion by putting on a festive dress, and especially by placing on his head a handsome nuptial turban. ( Psalms 45:8 ; Song of Solomon 4:10: Song of Solomon 4:11 )

2. The bride was veiled. Her robes were white, ( Revelation 19:8 ) and sometimes embroidered with gold thread, ( Psalms 45:13; Psalms 45:14 ) and covered with perfumes ( Psalms 45:8 ) she was further decked out with jewels. ( Isaiah 49:18 ; 61:10 ; Revelation 21:2 )

3. When the fixed hour arrived, which was, generally late in the evening, the bridegroom set forth from his house, attended by his groomsmen (Authorized Version "companions," ( Judges 14:11 ) "children of the bride-chamber," ( Matthew 9:15 ) preceded by a band of musicians or singers, ( Genesis 31:27 ; Jeremiah 7:34 ; 16:9 ) and accompanied by persons wearing flambeaux, ( Jeremiah 25:10; Matthew 25:7 ; Revelation 18:23 ) and took the bride with the friends to his own house.

4. At the house a feast was prepared, to which all the friends and neighbors were invited, ( Genesis 29:22 ; Matthew 22:1-10 ; Luke 14:8 ; John 2:2 ) and the festivities were protracted for seven or even fourteen days ( Judges 14:12 ; Job 8:19 ). The guests were provided by the host with fitting robes, ( Matthew 22:11 ) and the feast was enlivened with riddles, ( Judges 14:12 ) and other amusements.

5. The last act in the ceremonial was the conducting of the bride to the bridal chamber, ( Judges 15:1 ; Joel 2:16 ) where a canopy was prepared ( Psalms 19:5 ; Joel 2:16 ). The bride was still completely veiled, so that the deception practiced on Jacob, ( Genesis 29:23 ) was not difficult.

In light of this information, many Scripture passages make much more sense. Think about Jesus' Parable of the Ten Virgins (an allusion to ten bridesmaids in Matt 25:1-13) and the Parable of the Great Feast (a wedding feast in Matt 22:1-14). Can you think of others?

Photos: Biblical Archaeology Review & eliel.schafler (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "OPEN." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the explanation of today's topic.

• Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this
Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2013-02-07T22:19:00.001-08:00

Open Topic

You're invited to join us for Marriage Monday on February 11, 2013. Let's have a FREE DAY this time around, shall we? No specific topic—just write what's "top of mind." For example, have you learned something new about Christian marriage recently? Care to share?

If cinnamon hearts, red roses, and dark chocolate are front and center in your conciousness, so be it! Maybe you'd like to tell us what you're thinking. For example, how are you planning celebrate February 14 this year? Do you and your husband include your kids in your celebration? Or maybe you have a funny Valentine's Day story from your courtship.

For the past few months, I've been studying the Book of Revelation (Precepts) every Tuesday night at our church. There's a lot to keep straight, and many other Scripture passages also come into play. I'm planning to review some things about ancient Jewish wedding customs and how they relate to "The Bride of Christ" in my post. You might feel led to cover some aspect of the timeless biblical love story too. Are there any passages which are particularly meaningful to you right now?

I hope you'll be able to join us on Monday. Here's your chance to blog your heart out, Sister!

See you here at Chrysalis very soon.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. (John 14:2 NIV)

Our Sacred Commitment

2013-01-27T21:08:00.001-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday!

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #18: Commitment is our sure promise that provides security and stability during a marriage crisis.

Q. What do circus high wire acts and marriage have in common?
(Besides extreme trust, interlaced body parts, and shiny red suits ... )

In a marriage, one has the opportunity to create a legacy or fall prey to divorce. The tragic thing about divorce is that it affects SO many more people than just the couple involved. Our life road is mapped out by the choices we make. My husband and I desire a strong, everlasting marriage, being wise to the roadblocks that may come our way. However, we chose marriage and we continue to chose marriage everyday. We are blessed to share in a union that God has created for us.—Katy Montgomery

A. A safety net! Both marriage and high wire acts require a very strong safety net below the surface to provide security and protection against missteps, sudden mishaps, and mistakes.

You Can Rebuild Happiness in Your Marriage

In marriage, that safety net is good old-fashioned commitment. Commitment is the critical undergirding that keeps couples and their families safe from disaster. When communication fails, disease strikes, or economic hardships arrive, our commitment to one another allows our marriage to temporarily fall off the high wire of happiness. Commitment keeps it from shattering to pieces on the ground.

God intended for married couples to experience great happiness within their exclusive union. But isn’t marriage intended to make us holy you might ask? Yes. Of course. But should we gain the knowledge and skills to achieve a measure of happiness in marriage? Again, the answer is absolutely—Yes.

We know that life has its good times and bad times. Similarly, happiness in marriage ebbs and flows. Sometimes we’re able traverse the high wire of daily life in perfect harmony, laughing, and enjoying each other from one end to the other. Unfortunately, because of sin, our marriages face difficulties and hardships too. During those crisis periods, we get out of balance as a couple. Bailing out and starting over with someone else can seem like a very attractive idea.

Both marriage and high wire acts require a very strong safety net below the surface to provide security and protection against missteps, sudden mishaps, and mistakes.

However, like the undergirding of a circus safety net, our strength of commitment allows us to stay together through the difficult days, while working toward a better tomorrow. When negative circumstances force us off the high wire of marital happiness and down into the safety net of commitment, we can be assured that God will help us find a way to climb up the ladder of happiness once again.

From Faith to Hope, and Then On to Love

Christian marriage counselor, Willard Harley PhD observed that couples who are in love, never divorce. His successful clinical work has focused on helping distressed marriage partners fill each other's “emotional love tanks” in order to fall in love again.

In light of Dr. Harley’s counseling success, you can picture of commitment as both the safety net and the high wire itself. Commitment acts like a bridge between two opposite extremes: an angry divorce and long-term marital satisfaction. Commitment gives us the necessary time during and afer a marriage crisis to traverse the wire from one side to the other. Commitment empowers a couple to carefully proceed away from a state of conflict and toward the balanced state of relational happiness they both long for.

Commitment acts like faith, for it fuels hope. And hope can lead you back to love—if you allow it to. If your marriage is in turmoil, you may be considering your options. I encourage you to fufill your sacred marriage vows, and say NO to the temptation file for divorce. But don't go it alone! Seek the help of a competent professional today.

Related

• Marriage: What Makes Women Happy?
• Is Marriage for Happiness or Holiness?
• Does Divorce Make People Happy?

Photos: gynti_46 (Flickr)

Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2:15-16 NASB)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "Commitment." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to today's topic.

• Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this
Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2013-01-24T22:07:00.000-08:00

Topic: Commitment in Christian Marriage

Hello! You're invited to join us this Monday (January 28, 2013). Here's another opportunity learn from each another about our most important human relationship: marriage. Unfortunately, in our culture, divorce has become the default option when the going gets really tough.

Sister, let's dig deeply on this one. While divorce is not the "unpardonable sin," the experts say there are numerous down sides to splitting up the family unit. Search your heart, the Scriptures, and tell us why you've decided to honor your marriage commitment, no matter what.

The old saying "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" has never been more appropriate. Thinking and writing about commitment today just might keep your marriage outside the danger zone at some point in the future.

Five writing prompts, in case you need them:

1. Q4U: What's the relationship between commitment and forgiveness?

2. Show us how HOPE undergirds your marriage commitment.

3. Discuss the research which shows how a couple's friends influences their marriage. For example, Christian couples who regularly fellowship with others in stable marriages also tend to stay together. (Sadly, the reverse is true as well.)

4. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? "It makes good sense to stay together for the sake of the children."

5. T or F? Married people tend to enjoy a higher standard of living, better mental and physical health, and live longer than single or divorced people.

6. Hindsight is always 20/20. If you are divorced (and have remarried), tell us what you wish you had done differently.

Love and blessings,

e-Mom

Nine Ways Writing About Marriage Changes Things

1. Writing about marriage changes how we think. It clarifies our feelings and encourages us to seek God's Truth. (All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching... 2 Tim 3:16)

2. Writing about marriage makes us wonder what the experts have to say. (With an abundance of counselors there is safety... Prov 11:14)

3. Writing about marriage causes us to reflect on our experience. It gives us the desire to teach others what we've learned. (Teach them to your children and your grandchildren... Deut 4:8-9)

4. Writing about marriage is a safe way to blow off steam. (Don't let the sun go down on your anger... Eph 4:26)

5. Writing about marriage helps us to remember that everyone makes mistakes. We can learn from them and move forward. (All have sinned... Rom 3:23)

6. Writing about marriage reminds us that there will always be areas in our marriage that need improvement. (The ear of the wise seeks knowledge... Prov 18:15)

7. Writing about marriage teaches us about self-control. Alone with the page, we discover we have the power to change the behavior of only one person: ourselves. (Fruit of the spirit is love, joy... and self-control. Gal 5:22-23)

8. Writing about marriage can be a form of prayer. Often, when we write about our problems, our spirit opens up to hear God's answers. (Ask, seek, knock... Matt 7:7)

9. Writing about marriage increases our gratitude for the life partner God has given us. (A good wife is from the Lord... Prov 19:14)

Photo: ThePugFather (Flickr)

Will you be here at Chrysalis on Monday?

Sharing Our Faith in Marriage

2013-01-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday!

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #17: Christian husbands often express their faith through their actions rather than with words.

Q. Why doesn't my husband initiate prayer together more often?

My husband and I both believe in the Lord, and love Him. But, our way of expressing that love, and belief, are very different. I love going to church, singing in the choir, teaching, being involved in prayer groups, revivals, any type of church activity. My husband does not want to go to church, or when he does go to church, does not want to be involved in any way. All he does is warm the pew. I enjoy Bible studies, and devotions. He does not, and will not, participate in any type of Bible study. I love to pray, he will pray occasionally.—Denise

A. Excellent question! We know intuitively that spirituality comes more naturally to women—or at least our brand of spirituality. As the verbal gender, women place greater emphasis on love, forgiveness, and relationships. So when we're born-again, the heavens open! Oh happy day! God loves us! When we fall head over heels in love with Jesus, we begin to walk the road of life with Him right by our side. Prayer, Bible study, witnessing, and intimate fellowship with other believers soon seem as easy as breathing.

However, many men struggle with “our way” as the only way to express faith. Factoring in our gender differences and our unique spiritual gifts, we should expect that some husbands will have a limited appetite for sharing their spiritual selves with their wives using words.

Faith Begins with God's Word

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.
(Rom 110:17 NASB)

For some women, this is a tremendous source of frustration. Many of us want our husbands to be spiritually identical to us; ie. eager to pray; knowledgeable in Scripture; leading regular family devotions; attending church every Sunday; witnessing on the mission field; and maybe even making plans to enter full-time ministry.

Some of us are married to pastors who actually do all these things
(a major blessing), and some of us are married to unbelievers. But I know that there are many, many times when our believing husbands are shouting that they love the Lord very loudly in their own language—by what they're doing. It's very easy to completely miss the good things they are trying to say to us about their faith walk.

Faith is Revealed by Good Works

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. (James 2:18 NIV)

For instance, when our children were small, I remember going through a particularly difficult period financially. The economy was down, and our small business was suffering. I of course, spent much time journalling, praying, and in Bible study, trying to assuage my fears and grow my faith in God's promises of provision.

To my great surprise, my husband—a strong believer—took a different tack. Mindful of his God-given responsibility to provide for our family, he buckled down and started working very long hours. Once in awhile, he would quote 1 Tim 5:8 to me: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household,
he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Oh my! That's strong stuff!

At first I was perplexed. Aren't we saved by faith? And shouldn't e-Dad and I be banded together and down on our knees “storming the gates of heaven” a whole lot more? Eventually, I realized that working hard to be a successful provider was e-Dad's response to Jesus' free gift of salvation. Careful obedience to the truth as he understood it, was a sincere expression of his faith to me and to our family.

Loquatious Ladies Love to Pray

It’s no secret that women are more loquatious (verbal) than men. In fact, thanks to our chattiness, we’re on the receiving end of numerous bad jokes. (You’ve heard of the tel-e-phone? What do you do when you want to get the word out really fast? Tel-a-woman. Groan.) We’re often drawn to prayer—a verbal activity—much more than our husbands.

Another reason men don’t pray with their wives regularly is because they don’t like admitting their vulnerability. Few men relish the idea of climbing down from their white stallion to play the fallen hero. Most husbands need to feel very secure about their wife’s respect and acceptance before they’ll open up and admit their needs.

Praying in the Afterglow

So take heart, sister! Here's a little challenge for you. If you're frustrated by the infrequency of shared prayer in your marriage—and many women are—why don’t you suggest praying right after love-making? There’s a strong chance that in those special moments, your man will be feeling trusted, accepted, and quite open to sharing his spiritual feelings with God and with you.

Related

What's Your God Language? Connecting with God through Your Unique Spiritual Temperament by Myra Perrine. Forward by Gary Thomas.
Introverts in the Church. Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam S. McHugh
“How Women Can Help Men Find God” by e-Mom

Photos: MoreGoodFoundation & edgeplot (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "Faith in Marriage." You're free to tackle this subject whatever way the Spirit leads. I have not included any writing prompts this week, as I know you have a lot to share on this topic without my input!

• Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister.

Linky

Ten Holiday Survival Tips for 2012

2012-12-09T20:22:00.001-08:00

How to Prepare for Dark Feelings During the Season of Light

Many people are surprised to learn that December can the most painful month of the year. Separation, divorce, illness, death, financial stress or an unwanted move can trigger feelings of loss that can make the holidays very challenging. Watching others absorbed in their merry-making drives home the reality of your loneliness and heartache.

Intellectually, you probably understand that appearances can be deceiving. Most likely, your friends and co-workers are not being completely honest about their own personal struggles. If you are facing difficult times, here are ten suggestions to help you navigate this holiday season.

1. PREPARE. Be prepared for the ambush of negative emotions that can overcome you at anytime. For instance, if Christmas music is stirs up painful feelings, turn it off.

2. ACCEPT. Rather than be angry, accept your loss and the difficulty of this passage through the holidays. Go easy on yourself, taking one day at a time.

3. SOCIALIZE. Force yourself to accept and extend invitations for short outings to events and places you've enjoyed in the past.

4. STAY SOBER. Don't try to numb your pain with alcohol or drugs. These chemicals are depressants, and they add to your misery rather than relieve it.

5. DECORATIONS. The push to put up holiday greenery and ornaments may be too overwhelming. Buy yourself a bright red poinetta, and save the rest of your decorating for next year.

6. HEALTH. Maintain regular healthy mealtime, exercise, and sleep routines. Sugary foods and beverages can be anxiety-producing, so steer clear of them.

7. SHOP ONLINE. Take advantage of internet discount prices and free delivery if a trip to the crowded malls seems too stressful.

8. SUNSHINE. Short walks outside in the sun is essential for mood elevation during the darkest months of the year. In northern locations like Boston or Seattle, Vitamin D supplementation is advisable.

9. BOUNDARIES. Be honest with friends and family about what you are capable of doing to celebrate Christmas this year.

10. SEEK HELP. If you find you're unable to cope, contact a close friend, women's counselor, or a pastor to help you "vent" your frustrations and heartache.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

Source: Compass Magazine

Photos: Heather's Photostream (Flickr)

Marriage Monday will be on hiatus until January. Please join us at Chrysalis for the topic of "Faith."

How to be a Helpmate in Christian Marriage

2012-12-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday!

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #16: Men are uniquely designed to be providers, and they deeply need their wives' support.

Q. My husband's business is really struggling, and I'm a Mom who works part-time at home. Should I carry on at home, or go out and find a full-time job?

The one thing that constantly challenges our marriage is... the direction we want to go in... and how to focus on it. As a girl I changed when I got married, as a woman I changed when I had children, and now I'm changing again... trying to figure out where I fit in the world, which in turn affects how I react in my marriage. I still fight against the worldview have "have to" to work instead of staying home with my children (which I'm glad I am privileged enough to do so). I am happy and in love but never sure how I can best serve God - how WE can serve God together.—Anne Onymous

A. Great question. Obviously, each marriage is unique. Scripture affirms that
God has variously gifted both men and women. Both genders are called to share their talents for the benefit of others. But one size does not fit all. It takes lots of time for Christian couples to establish a work life that supports their family and satisfies both of them.

Why Men Need to Work

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (Gen 2:15 NIV)

Regardless of their vocation, we know that all women find tremendous fulfillment in their relationships. However, God designed men to find the majority of their fulfillment and identity through their jobs.

In fact, when he's successful in providing for his family, a husband's physical and mental health are optimized, thanks to higher levels of testosterone. Levels of this master hormone can drop significantly when a man suffers a business setback or a job loss.

A worker’s appetite works for him, for his hunger urges him on. (Prov 16:26 NASB)

Unfortunately, many well-meaning wives unknowingly sabotage their husbands' efforts by taking over the reins. However, when a wife encourages her husband to “step up to the plate,” deferring to him as the family's primary bread-winner, everyone wins. In fact, the happiest marriages are those in which the husband earns at least 68% of the family's income.

Learn to Ask “What Can I Do to Help?”

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18 NIV)

God intended for wives play a key role as their husband's “cheerleader,” especially when a man is struggling to pay the bills. Fortunately, it doesn't take years of theological study or days of prayer and fasting to figure out what to do. A Christian wife can simply practice asking her husband, “What can I do to help?” and consistently follow-up on his suggestions. Ultimately her patience, and her supportive attitude will pay big dividends for both of them.

Homemaker or Working Mom

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Prov 14:1 NIV)

This issue of working Moms versus stay-at-home Moms is hotly debated in our culture. Before the economic downturn in 2008, most educated men were earning a livable income. Thus, educated Christian wives had the freedom to choose a career path they deemed most appropriate.

For instance, a significant number of Christian mothers felt called to important positions beyond their own four walls. With two incomes, these families enjoyed a higher standard of living, but it came with a price—including higher stress levels.

On the other hand, many Christian mothers opted to stay home, expressing their gifts to benefit their families and community. The price they paid was the challenge of living on one income in a two-income society. Thanks to technology, entrepreneurial Moms figured out how to bring in extra money working from home.

Godly Helpmates in the New Economy

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
(Prov 31:16 NIV)

Unfortunately today, for many would-be SAHMs the current economy has severely restricted their freedom to choose full-time homemaking as their primary vocation. In many cases, working wives out-earn their husbands, whose jobs have been cut, replaced by technology, or moved overseas. Educated married women are entering the workforce in record numbers simply to make ends meet.

Career women know that working full-time outside the home is a massive juggling act—without a doubt. Some mothers take on the challenge and perform with aplomb. However, Gallup reports that 51% of working mothers say they would prefer to work part-time or not at all. Perhaps the best course of action for the latter group, is to find full-time work they can do from home.

Bottom line, a wise Christian wife finds creative ways to support her husband in his quest to provide or their family—especially when he's struggling. Asking for his input and consistent follow-through will help him advance in his chosen career. Once he's on his way to success, then she can make some real choices about how to optimize her own talents at home and in the workplace.

Related

1. Marriage: What Makes Women Happy?

2. Motivating Passive Men

3. Living With Less So Your Family Has More

This post is linked at Time Warp Wife's Titus2Tuesdays

Photos: LeoReynolds, rpsd, RichardMasoner (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "How to Be a Helpmate." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to today's topic.

• Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-11-30T15:51:00.002-08:00

Topic: How to be a Helpmate

You're invited to join us for Marriage Monday on Dec. 3, 2012. Please come and share your marriage wisdom.

If you read Genesis 2:18 in context, you'll agree that Eve was created to help Adam in the practical matter of day-to-day living. (In their case, tending the Garden.)
So how do you flesh that verse out in your own marriage, especially in light of today's struggling economy?

As always, you're free to approach this topic in whatever way the Spirit leads. Remember, you're the expert! However, if you need a little encouragement to get started, read on.

Six Writing Prompts

1. What does the biblical role of "helpmate" mean to you?

2. To give us a clearer understanding of Gen 2:18, define the word "helpmate" from the original Hebrew.

3. Some couples feel that the role of full-time homemaker is obsolete in our culture. Do you?

4. Can a Christian wife who has a lucrative full-time career—and delegates the housework and childcare to others—still be valued a "helpmate" by her husband?

5. Share some ways that a Christian wife can act as a "helpmate" to her husband in matters of the heart.

6. Challenge Prompt: Experts say that traditional marriages—with a clear division of labor between work and homemaking—are happier, and longer lasting. Research how the hormones testosterone and oxytocin contribute to marital health and happiness.

As always, I can't wait to read your post on Monday. See you then!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit forhim.” (Gen 2:18 ESV)

P.S. Come visit me at Susannah's {Kitchen}, where you'll find Discount Vintage Aprons, and the Fine Art of Food.

Photo: MillzeroPhotography (Flickr)

Will you be able to join us on Monday?

Millennials Muse About Marriage in a Recent Pew Research Report

2012-11-25T22:35:00.000-08:00

Top of the Marriage Partner Wishlist: A Good Mom or Dad

"What do Millennial men say about an ideal wife or partner? The top two qualities they value are being a good mother (93%) and being caring and compassionate (88%). The next is putting her family before anything else (74%). More than half of young men think being a good sexual partner (57%) and being well educated (52%) are very important qualities for a good wife. “Providing a good income” is at the bottom of the list; just 15% of young men think it is very important for a good wife to have that quality.

What do Millennial women say about an ideal husband or partner? Compared with young men, young women focus more on the top three qualities: being a good father (91%), being caring and compassionate (89%), and putting his family before anything else (88%). The rest of the qualities tested in the survey, such as being a good sexual partner, being well educated and providing a good income, are not viewed as important. Fewer than half of 18- to 29-year-old women think these are very important qualities for a good husband. “Good at household chores” comes at the bottom of the list, with about one-in-five (22%) of young women saying that it is a very important quality for a good husband or partner."—Pew Research Center

Millennial Women Are More Egalitarian than Men

When asked what kind of marriage leads to the more satisfying way of life, most Millennials (72%) chose the modern egalitarian model. (Both the husband and wife have jobs and both take care of the household and children.) However, young women are more likely than young men to choose the egalitarian model (78% vs. 67%).

However, when asked how important it is for a man to be able to support a family financially if he wants to get married, 67% of Millennials say it is “very important.” But when the same question is asked about a woman, only 40% say it is very important. Young men and women agree on these views.

You can discover how Millennials view being married versus being single, and what are the reasons Millenials want to be married or to get married in the article, "For Millennials, Parenthood Trumps Marriage" by Wendy Wang and Paul Taylor.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." (Gen 1:28 NIV)

Hat Tip: Mary Kassian at Girls Gone Wise

Related: Evangelism | Meet the Millennials

Photo: micmol (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder

Do you think Millennials are likely to achieve their marriage goals?

Understanding Our God-Given Gifts in Marriage

2012-11-18T14:07:00.000-08:00

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #15: Understanding our gifts reduces conflict, and creates success in love and work.

Q. I've noticed that I'm very different from my girlfriends. But my husband is definitely "all boy" like his buddies. Why am I more like him?

It is interesting … because sometimes I do not think like a woman ... yikes. 1) I'm more competitive :) 2) My brain is focused on work and church and I go home to rest ... and worry less about homemaking tasks (am I bad) lol, my house is not a major mess but I would rather sit and read or write over doing the dishes or laundry. :) I struggle in not being a miss susie homemaker ... if I had more time maybe I would - but really my thoughts are ministry before home. … I also do not 'need' a lot of female interaction, I'm good with my own company and with my man.—Shelley

We definitely have different interests. For example, he likes to travel -- internationally, even. I'm a homebody, but it's not just that I don't want to travel -- every time I do I spend hours in the bathroom, to put it delicately.—BarbaraH

A. We are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14) When a couple gets married, they're given a lifetime to unwrap the most wonderful gift of all ... each other!

First, think of Male and Female as two polarities. Classic gender differences tend to show up in marriage when we're under stress. You can read about the general characteristics of male and female here.

However, as you've observed, women don't all share the same interests. For example, like biblical Mary, many women prefer a quiet contemplative life, with less social contact. Similarly, only a portion of women truly love domesticity like her sister Martha. In the same way, some men excel in deep study, caring very little about big salaries or big adventure outside their offices.

We were Gifted Before Birth

That's because each of us is gifted by God before birth. (Not to be confused with the supernatural gifts Christians receive after salvation.) In terms of personality, all of us actually fall somewhere along a broad continuum that stretches between the two poles of male and female.

These tendencies are hard-wired into our brains. They are the direct result of varying amounts of sex hormones we were exposed to in our mother's womb. According to Scripture, we are “flavored” or gifted by grace in the direction of God's own choosing.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.
If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. (Rom 12:6-8 NIV)

How Can We Discover our Gifts?

In his loving wisdom, God has laid out for us the "Mother of all Personality-Type Indicators" in the Bible. (It's far superior to Myers-Briggs, if your familiar with that model.) Found in Rom 12:6-8, Paul outlines a total of seven natural gifts or temperaments given to humanity. Each of us is born with one strong gift that shapes our personality; most people also exhibit a less dominant secondary gift.

Authors Don and Katie Fortune do a masterful job of explaining the characteristics of the seven Biblical motivational gifts in, Discover Your God-Given Gifts.

This is one of my all-time favorite books, and I highly recommend it.

The Fortune’s easy self-tests help readers discover which of the seven Biblical “personality types” best describes them. The gifts are variously bestowed upon male and female alike, and each gift is of equal value.

Two Distinctions Within the Seven Gifts

Scripture teaches that there are two distinctions within the motivational gifts, speaking gifts and serving gifts (1 Pet 4:11). We are commanded to use our gift to benefit others, for it was designed by the Creator to overflow from us to those around us.

The Fortunes note that our dominant gift can be observed in childhood. Like donning a pair of tinted glasses, our gift colors all we see and do. The authors’ thorough research has shown that God bestows some of the gifts more frequently than others. For instance, there is a greater need for followers than leaders.

Summary of the Seven Biblical Gifts

Four SPEAKING Gifts

1. Perceiver — Declares the will of God. Also called Prophet.
2. Teacher — Researches and teaches the Bible.
3. Exhorter — Encourages personal growth. Also called Encourager.
4. Administrator — Gives leadership & direction. Also called Leader.

Three SERVING Gifts

5. Compassion — Provides emotional support. Also called Mercy.
6. Server — Offers practical service.
7. Giver — Shares financial assistance. Also called Contributor.

Note: Scripture teaches that there is a particular limitation on a woman's use of her leadership gifts in the church. Curious about that? Click here.

Joy is the By-Product

"The best way to measure whether or not you are operating in the sphere of your motivational gift is to take this simple test: Are you joyful? Joy is the by-product of operating in your motivational gift. Frustration is the by-product of trying to operate outside it. Joy is always a byproduct of what is in the will of God for you. Joy can never be sought as a goal or an end in itself. But as you function in the giftedness that God has given you, you will have joy."—Discover Your God-Given Gifts, The Fortunes.

Photos: MatthewandTracie, AlexDram, INIJIE and svacher(Flickr)

This post is linked at Time Warp Wife's Titus2Tuesdays

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "Our God-Given Gifts" If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to today's topic.

• Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister!

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-11-16T12:36:00.000-08:00

Group Topic: Our God-Given Gifts

There are just a few weeks left until Christmas. W00t!

Along with the best music of the year, comes the wonderful exchange of gifts. If one of your "love languages" is giving (like me) then you love sharing lots of presents with your family.

To coincide with all this seasonal merriment, is our next Marriage Monday group topic, "Our God-Given Gifts." You're invited to share your wisdom on any variation on this subject, including spiritual gifts, natural gifts and talents, or ministry gifts. No need to write a long post, if you would rather keep it short. Just write!

Five Prompts

If you need help to get started, consider the following writing prompts:

• Tell us how you and your husband make room for each other's uniqueness.
• How do your gifts conflict?
• How do your gifts complement each other?
• How do you share your gifts with others outside your marriage?
• Why do you think it's important to understand your spouse's gifts?

Please join us for Marriage Monday on November 19, 2012. Take a break from all your Thanksgiving preparations to come and bless... and be blessed. The linky will be up until midnight on Wednesday night.

If you wait until Thursday when you're stirring the gravy, you're too late!

Hope to see you on Monday.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. (Rom 12:6-8 NIV)

P.S. Come visit me at Susannah's {Kitchen}, where you'll find Discount Vintage Aprons, and the Fine Art of Food.

Photos: scrappyannie (Flickr)

Will you have time to link up on Monday?

The Power of Six Simple Words

2012-11-12T11:54:00.001-08:00

What if your teenager asked you one day, “What can I do to help?” Probably two things would happen.

First, you’d be stunned and shocked at the collapse of everything you know to be true in this world: Did those words actually come from my child’s mouth?

Second, you’d probably wonder what angle your child is trying to play: What does he want from me?

OK, perhaps that scenario seems impossible … so let’s bring this into the realm of marriage. What if your spouse asked you, “What can I do to help?”

What if you both adopted this type of servant attitude on a regular basis? What impact would that have on your marriage?

What Can I Do to Help?

Th quote above is from Family Life's article, "Shock Your Spouse and Kids with This Question" by Dave Bohri.

I have to laugh, because of all the "canned" phrases e-Dad and I have learned to use, this is one of our favorites. (And yes, we do have a number of pre-rehearsed lines that we pull out of our back pockets at critical moments—especially when emotions are running high.)

I use this line early and often... and it's as uplifting to me as it is to my husband. When we both are stressed-out over a situation, sometimes communication between us begins to fail. When I ask "What can I do to help?" a number of things are immediately accomplished.

Seven Benefits

• It shows my husband I'm attuned to him, even though he may be distracted
• It takes my attention away from my own emotional discomfort
• It reminds my husband that he has a strong supporter
• It reveals my trust in his ability to solve the problem
• It gets me thinking creatively about possible solutions
• It reminds me to pray for God's help, even as I am offering my help
• It gets me working on my part of our agreed-upon solution, giving me hope

Today's Marriage Challenge

So here's my challenge to you. Today, and tomorrow, and all this week, instead of fretting over problems, why don't you ask your spouse, "What Can I do to Help?" Then, come back and tell me in the comments how it worked for you.

Have a blessed week!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen 2:18 ESV)

Related

1. HOT Communication Tools
2. Relationships: Now We're Talking!
3. 10 Conversation Starters for Your Next Christmas Event

Photos: Flickrnathancolquhoun (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder

How does "What Can I do to Help" work for you?

Gender Differences in Christian Marriage

2012-11-04T14:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday!

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #14: Appreciating each other's strengths creates positive marriage synergy.

Q. Can two human beings who deeply love each other really be that different in their approach to life?

"...as far as our own marriage struggles over the years, I'd have to say communication has been one of the biggest challenges. We are doing so much better these days but it has not always been so. It took a lot of learning along the way, with help from seminars like Love and Respect and others to help us understand why each of us sometimes weren't always communicating effectively."—Tammy

"Our frustrations? Communication: Me: 'Quit yelling at me!' Him: 'I'm not yelling, this is just how I talk!' Money and Priorities: Me: 'Glad you bought a brand new fancy camera, but I really wanted a refrigerator.' Him: 'I'm not buying a new refrigerator until I can afford exactly what I want and I won't buy it on credit.'"—Jennifer in OR

A. Yes they can. Loving couples need to negotiate about many areas of their marriage. Some experts say that communication, money, and sex are the areas of greatest conflict. But why?

First, let's keep in mind that although we're two different genders, we're not two different species. Both genders come equipped with a similar range of aptitudes and abilities. It's possible to see things from your spouse's point of view, even though you might not entirely agree.

Unfortunately, it's stress that sends marriage partners to opposite corners of the ring. That's often when mutual understanding flies out the window, and each spouse comes out swinging. You can learn more about how to "get off the crazy cycle" and achieve better communication in marriage here. For information about how spouses tend to view money in marriage click here. If sex is an issue between you, click here.

Even when good feelings between you abound and your marriage is going smoothly, you've probably noticed that your husband prioritizes life differently than you do. To that we say, viva la difference! God has uniquely hard-wired men and women and for good reasons, as you will see in the summary below.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up ... Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
(Ecc 4:9-11 NIV)

Thirteen Differences Between the Sexes

Studies have proven that gender differences are neurological, hormonal, and genetic in origin. They are highly resistant to change by the influences of culture. This is true of men and women around the globe. The sexes are equal but different.

1. Socializing: Whether it's tennis or cards, women usually use the event as an excuse for cooperation and supportive conversation. For men, the name of the game is competition and winning.

2. A man's brain is focused outside the home in work and recreation. When he comes home, he does so to take a rest. Although she may be working outside the house too, a women's brain is strongly focused on her home and on family. When she comes home from her job, she's greeted by more work. She finds it difficult to rest until her parenting and homemaking tasks are completed.

3. Self-esteem: Men develop the evidence of their worthiness primarily from their jobs—whether it's a business, profession, or trade. Women (especially SAHMs) depend heavily on the romantic relationship with their husbands for emotional support. Little tokens of affection are appreciated more by wives, whose
self-esteem gets a boost from these expressions of love and caring.

4. Mothers become emotionally bonded to their children prior to birth by the virtue of carrying the infant in her body. Men do not become emotionally bonded to their children until several months after the birth when the infant begins to smile, respond, and interact with him.

5. Sexual arousal: Men respond to visual stimulation, caring less about the romantic component or personal identity. Men can more easily separate love and sex. Women are usually not attracted by a photo of an unknown model or by a handsome stranger, but to the touch of a particular man with whom she has entered into an personal relationship. Women prefer to combine romance and sex.

6. Men do not have as strong a desire and need for stability, security and enduring relationships as women do.

In a time of crisis, women tend to react with reference to their feelings. Men tend not to react with reference to feelings but with deducted thought and reason.

7. Women experience emotional influences that men do not because of the hormones associated with their reproductive cycles: e.g. pregnancy, lactation, and menopause.

8. The play habits of young girls is almost exclusively in real life domestic situations, playing house, school and so on. In contrast, young boy's play is usually in the fantasy world, heroically blasting Martians with lasers to save the world.

9. School: Boys tend to excel over girls in math and science subjects. Girls tend to excel over boys in English and arts subjects.

10. In a time of crisis, women tend to react with reference to their feelings. They become more verbal and feel need to "vent" about their problems with an empathetic listener. Men tend not to react with reference to their feelings but with deducted thought and reason. They become less verbal, while feeling the need to retreat into their "man-cave" to solve the problem alone.

11. Women are usually credited with possessing "mother's intuition" in regard to her children and all her personal relationships. She may not be able to explain it, but she has a feeling about the situation that the man does not. Yet while she may be responsible for sensing the situation, the man can usually chose the most appropriate course of action.

12. Our materialistic society places a higher value on the ability to be rational in the face of stress—a quality which is necessary for providing financial stability for the family. Yet this quality is of little value for happiness inside the home. So while men may be better equipped support the family, women are better equipped to keep the family emotionally healthy.

13. Overall, society places much greater value on masculine qualities. This has driven many women to feel "unfulfilled" in the home environment. Many women do not feel valued unless they are working outside the home for money. They feel ashamed to say they are "just a housewife."

Source

Related

• Waffles & Spaghetti: "The Glory of Chrisian Marriage"
• Affair-Proof Your Marriage: His Needs are Not Her Needs
• Why Your Husband (Sometimes) Acts Like Attila the Hun
• Communication: Six Fundamentals of Love & Respect
• Friendship in Christian Marriage

Photos: JoePhilipson (1), YorkCollegeofPA (2 & 3) (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "Gender." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to today's topic.

• Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister!

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-11-01T20:16:00.000-07:00

Group Topic: Gender

Here's your chance to reflect on the mystery of male and female.

Last weekend, e-Dad and I celebrated our thirty-fourth anniversary. Thanks to a gift card from our children, we enjoyed appetizers, dessert, and live music at a local restaurant. Whoohoo!

Despite being together all these years—and perhaps because of it—we're certainly aware that we don't always view life from the same perspective. For instance, e-Dad wanted to sit outside in the cool evening air, while I thought it was too chilly to be out on the patio. Maybe you go through similar “thermostat wars."

Please join us for Marriage Monday on November 5, 2012. We’re continuing our series of 21 Hot Buttons in Marriage begun before my summer break. Like the other subjects we’ve covered as a community, gender differences came up in the comments as a problem or frustration in Christian marriage.

Writing Prompts

If you don't know where to begin, you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts (not required).

1. Share a humorous story about how physical differences between you and your husband made you laugh out loud. (Family-friendly, of course.)

2. Discuss how your opposite communication styles have created conflicts in your marriage—and how you've learned to avoid misunderstandings.

3. Interview your husband for your blog post, asking him questions about his definition of “romance.”

4. Create a checklist of your top ten goals for your marriage, and ask your husband to rate those items according to his priorities. Post the results of both lists.

5. Compare and contrast the ways that you and your spouse express your Christian faith.

6. Or as always, you're free to cover this topic any way the Spirit leads.

See you soon!

He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them "man." (Genesis 5:2 NIV)

Photo: presta (Flickr)

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Money Talk in Christian Marriage

2012-04-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #13: Gender Intelligence Tames the Topic of Money

Q. Communication about money is really a challenge. Why doesn’t my husband welcome my input about our finances?

To be honest, the only thing my husband and I really argue about is money. We both agree that it's silly to argue about it - there just isn't that much of it. But underneath the superficial bickering about finances, it really boils down to control. He makes budget decisions and I sulk because I wasn't consulted. Mature, right? Fortunately, we don't butt heads constantly, but enough that we recognize that money is a topic we need to be careful discussing as it tends to be a hot button issue for us.—April

A. Aha, yes, the control issue. Often younger husbands want to budget the money their way, not acknowledging that their wives—who might also be earning—have a valuable perspective to share. Once we understand why husbands argue for control in this area of marriage, we don’t have to take their behavior so personally.

First of all, because of the way men and women’s brains, bodies, and hormonal systems are wired, our primary needs in life and marriage are dramatically different. Above all, a man needs to compete in the workplace and win. When he’s feeling successful, he knows that his outer actions are seen, acknowledged, and respected (Eph 5:33).

Although many wives work outside the home too, a woman’s primary needs are more cooperative, relational and receptive. In essence, she wants to feel the sense of well-being that comes when her inner soul is heard, provided for, and loved (Eph 5:33).

When it comes to their finances, conflict often arises because these contrasting psychological needs create different approaches to discussing and managing money. For instance, a wife is often unaware that her husband will instinctively act first (without discussion) in order to “win” his way and not risk “losing” to hers. He doesn’t realize that she’s willing to negotiate a “win-win” situation through communication.

Furthermore, to most husbands money represents power (or dominion). It’s potent a symbol of a man’s competency and his leadership capabilities. Whether it’s a professional education, a healthy stock portfolio, real estate investments, running a business, travel & vacations, cars, boats or other visible symbols—they all express a man’s ability to take charge of himself and his life. Often too, he will want a larger part of the family budget dedicated to long-term “big picture” items like a home mortgage, college savings, large donations, or retirement investments.
(Gen 1:28; Gen 3:16)

On the other hand, for most women money represents the ability to create beauty and especially security. She wants use their money to ensure a consistent and comfortable lifestyle, one that supports their family and the other private areas of their life. She naturally lobbies to budget their money for immediate needs such as putting food on the table, emergency savings, reducing debt, insurance, clothing, furniture, and special educational opportunities
(Prov 14:1; Prov 24:3-4).

Obviously, God has designed men and women complement each other; indeed they’re a perfect fit. Shorter-term and longer-term goals can be addressed when both spouses have the opportunity share their points-of-view. However, in order to truly be “heard” wives should learn to offer their thoughts calmly, with poise and respect. Over time, most husbands grow to understand the priority their wives place on security and domestic concerns
(Tit 2:3-5).

When there’s an impasse, Scripture admonishes wives to submit to their husband’s decision (Eph 5:22-24). Her choice to do so communicates her trust in the Lord. This empowers her husband to adjust his thinking if necessary, seek more outside information, and often—with the Spirit’s prompting—to implement his wife’s suggestions.

Related

One of my favorite Christian resources is Crown Financial Ministries.
For more encouragement on this important topic see Crown’s articles, “Husband-Wife Communications About Finances” and “Money & Relationships: Do Opposites Attract or Attack?” See also “Bank on It: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest.”

Photos: kolix & seandreilinger (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday! Please Join Us

• Group Topic: "Money." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic.

• Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here, especially for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister!

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

Text Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-04-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

Group Topic: Money

Wampum, moula, denarii … whatever you call it, we all have some kind of relationship to money. Husbands' and wives' attitudes toward money are influenced by their families-of-origin, their education, the culture, and their gifts and temperaments. Considering all the variables, conflicts are inevitable. However, I believe the happiest couples are those who allow the truths of Scripture to exert the strongest influence over how they "do money" together.

But that doesn't mean we all look the same as Christians.

For example, wives with a natural business bent are often keenly interested in keeping the books, managing the family budget, and overseeing all the household purchases, large and small. Often, they want to earn some kind of income too, through part-time or full-time work.

Other wives prefer to stay at home, finding fulfillment in child-rearing and homemaking. They like to use their free time for ministry or socializing. Living frugally may be more important to them than material things. Such women are completely content to let their husbands manage every aspect of the family finances, including long-term investing.

You would probably describe your marriage as falling somewhere along the continuum between these two poles. Whatever arrangement you and your husband have agreed upon, I'm sure discovered how complex handling money can be, even in Christian marriage.

On Monday, you’re invited to join us to discuss the topic of money in marriage. As usual, you’re free to blog about this subject from whatever angle the Spirit leads. However, if you need a little help to get started, consider using one of the following writing prompts.

1. In Eden, God assigned Adam the role of "master gardener," and to Eve he gave the role of “helper.” In the matter of bread-winning, how do you and your husband fufill these roles in your marriage? (Gen 2:15-23)

2. Write a post about material contentment. Share how you’ve learned to be satisfied with the level of income the Lord provides for your family. (Phil 4:12-13)

3. Teach us what you’ve learned about the biblical principle of giving tithes and offerings. Is tithing still relevant today?

4. Tell us a story about God’s super-natural provision in your marriage. Perhaps He answered your prayers for a particular job, or a gift of money during a crisis.

5. What has the current economic downturn taught you about consumer debt and maintaining an emergency savings fund. What other financial lessons has the recession taught you?

6. How did your and your husband make it through a major financial crisis e.g. job loss, business failure, bankruptcy, lawsuit, expensive medical bills? What was the most valuable lesson you learned during your crisis?

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matt 4:4 NIV)

See you on Monday!

Will you have time to join us?

Romance in Christian Marriage

2012-03-24T22:30:00.085-07:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #12: It Only Takes One to Reignite Romance

Q. How can we bring those warm feelings back to our relationship?
Is it even realistic to try to keep romantic love alive?

“My husband and I both discussed the question, “What’s the biggest problem or frustration in your marriage?” … We both chose the same answer: lack of romance. We have a small child. This isn't so much the problem as "everyday" events. We are so happy with one another and so happy to be together. We both describe our marriage as strong and bonded. We do both acknowledge the lack of romance as well. I fear this has the opportunity to become a bigger issue in the future.”—Katy M

A. You are wise to be concerned! Researchers have discovered that the romantic good feelings you are missing are tied to important brain chemicals. These hormones keep us healthy in mind and body, and also promise long life.

However, the key hormones that spell R.O.M.A.N.C.E. for husbands and wives are very different. Let’s delve deeper into the science behind it all …

Oxytocin for Wives

For women, the brain chemistry that creates romantic feelings is oxytocin. Oxytocin is the essential hormone that motivates women to “tend and befriend.”

Known as the cuddle, love, or trust hormone, oxytocin calms and relaxes women. It creates secure emotional attachments in marriage, friendships, and families. Oxytocin causes strong contractions during childbirth,
“let down” when nursing, and is released in the greatest quantities during orgasm.

Unfortunately, lifestyle stress can create a deficiency of oxytocin in a woman’s brain. As a result, she may suffer from postpartum depression, anxiety, social isolation, panic attacks or sleep difficulties. Other symptoms include a resistance to affection and sexual intimacy.

The most powerful (non-sexual way) to raise a woman’s oxytocin levels is through loving touch and hugging. Nurturing activities such as caring for children, the elderly, or pets raise oxytocin levels too. Foods like chocolate and spicey curries can also be beneficial.

A husband’s warm affection including kissing, holding hands, and gentle massage raises a woman’s oxytocin levels even higher. Other romantic gestures such as flowers, compliments, a listening ear, and planning dates help keep a wife’s happiness hormones elevated. All this special attention makes her feel secure and loved and spells R.O.M.A.N.C.E. to a woman. (See also 1 Pet 3:7-8)

Testosterone for Husbands

For men, the big one is testosterone. This is hormone has the opposite effect of oxytocin, motivating a man to action, including the “fight or flight” response. Testosterone levels fluctuate during the day, regulating a host of vital functions within the male body. Testosterone gives a man his muscle strength and that powerful
“grrrr-go-getum” feeling.

However, lifestyle stress and excess belly fat lower base testosterone levels significantly. Men who suffer from below normal T-levels often experience low libido, erectile dysfunction, and become sluggish, agitated, or depressed. They are also at great risk for deadly diseases like heart attacks, diabetes, and cancer.

A man’s testosterone levels rise naturally during sexual intercourse, sound sleep, sunbathing, weight training, sports & recreation, emergencies, competition, altruism, sacrifice, and job success. Certain foods like turkey, peanut butter, bananas, and oatmeal can also be very beneficial.

A wife’s warm smiles, her trust, gratitude, quiet faith, respectful behavior, sports companionship, good cooking, and enthusiasm in the bedroom also give her husband’s testosterone levels a real boost. These responses help him feel needed and important and that spells R.O.M.A.N.C.E. to a man.
(See also 1 Pet 3: 3-6)

So the good news is that yes, it’s desirable, realistic, and very possible to fan the flames of romance in your marriage. Fortunately, male and female responses are reciprocal, and it only takes one spouse to jump-start the process. The key is to focus on giving the strokes that your spouse finds romantic. Be patient, because sooner or later he will catch on and decide to
follow suit.

Another powerful way a wife can satisfy her need for romance is to calmly ask for what she needs in an undemanding way. Husbands are always happy to play the hero when they know exactly what is needed.

Related

• 20 Ways to Please Your Lover: Top Tips for Married Women
• 20 Ways to Please Your Lover: Top Tips for Married Men
• Romantic Love: Is it a Realistic Goal for Marriage Therapy?

Pop Quiz

1. Can you identify the oxytocin & testosterone hidden in Gen 3:16-18?
2. Based on this information, why do you think 1 Cor 7:5 commands married couples to make love on a regular basis?

Photos: CoolLibrarianPhotographer, psigrist, Sangudo (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: "Romance." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic.

• Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment! BTW, you might have strong feelings about this post. As a courtesy to others, please refrain from expressing them here for the sake of those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet Sister!

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-03-23T14:25:00.012-07:00

Group Topic: Romance

Whoohoo! This is a topic that most women love …

But perhaps we fear it just a little bit too.

At the beginning of a relationship, intuitively, men know that romance is important. But as time goes on, busy husbands often neglect to prioritize friendship, affection, and doing the thoughtful “little things” that bring their wives so much fulfillment. Disappointment can create a host of problems.

Why Modern Women Need Romance

Recently, I’ve been reading about the role an essential hormone called oxytocin plays in women. It’s the equivalent of testosterone in men, and ample amounts are present during pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing. Considered the “bonding” “trust” or “cuddle” hormone, this amazing brain chemical is released in other close relationships too, and especially when women are affectionately touched.

In women, oxytocin is essential for maintaining good physical and mental health. Modern life is very stressful, and busy women need more of this hormone to help them relax. Very high levels of oxytocin give us the feeling of being “in love” and fuels our sexual response. In purely scientific terms, women crave romantic love because it’s a powerful way to raise their oxytocin levels and feel great about life.

Click here to learn more about this vital hormone.

Join Us for Marriage Monday

You’re invited to join us for Marriage Monday on March 26, 2012. Please tell us about your experience of romance in marriage. How do you and your husband work together to keep those warm feelings going?

Imagine that you’re counseling a young bride about how to coach her husband regarding her need for romantic love. What would you advise?
As always, you’re free to cover this subject in whatever way the Spirit leads.

See you at Chrysalis on Monday!

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life ... (1 Pet 3:7 ESV)

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Sexuality in Christian Marriage

2012-03-10T16:27:00.036-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #11: Sex Matters to Women Too

Q. My husband has such a strong sex drive. Is this normal?

Well, no one has mentioned this yet, but I can't believe I'm the only one ... I'll be brave enough to say it for everyone else: bedroom issues are the biggest problem for us! Money can be frustrating, communication sometimes fails, but trying to compromise between a man's high sex drive, and a woman's low sex drive is often at the forefront of our conflicts. Obviously, not all men and women are they same, but I think our situation is typical of many marriages, at least based on what I have heard and read.—Anonymous

A. Yes it’s almost a cliché, isn't it? As a man of action, your husband is probably ready to go in a flash. Without much too effort, he makes his move. Perplexed that you’re just not in the mood, maybe you gently demur. Your deep feminine need for heart arousal first has not been met.

While the male sex drive can be compared to a locomotive steaming down the tracks at top speed, the feminine sexual response is more like a kitchen crockpot—it warms up slowly. Generally, younger couples must learn to adjust their pace to suit the wife’s needs for loving conversation, non-sexual affection, a pleasant safe environment, and lots of time.

A Taboo Topic: Frustrated Wives

There's actually another painful scenario. Marriage and family counselor Dennis Rainey of FamilyLife Today has made a surprising claim. He says that
in 20-30 percent of the couples they hear from, male passivity toward sexual intimacy is a significant problem. One wife wrote,

It seems like every article I read talks about a man’s high sex drive and how women are typically tired and not interested in sex. The opposite is true of my husband and me. I try to get him aroused and interested in sex, but he is never really in the mood nor is he affectionate to me.

He expects me to let him know when I want to be intimate, and I need to do the seducing. This is really hurting our marriage, and I am resentful of his lack of interest. I try to be as attractive and sexy as I can, but nothing seems to work. Do you have any advice?

Another wife feels abandoned by a husband who leaves the initiating to her. She said,

I fear that my husband and I have reversed roles in our marriage. I am always the one who initiates intimacy and sex. He is the one who doesn’t have the time or energy to be with me. He doesn’t ask me out or make special plans for us to be together. His list of “reasons” is endless. This leaves me feeling unloved, undesirable, and rejected. I don’t think that my husband looks at our physical intimacy as a gift from God that should be celebrated.

Dennis Rainey explains: “When a man shows little or no sexual interest in his wife, she will experience several emotions. First, she’s going to feel she is undesirable as a wife and a woman. She will wonder if she’s still attractive, or if something is wrong with her, or if he still loves her. A woman whose husband is usually disinterested is going to feel profoundly rejected (just as a man feels rejected when his wife shows a disregard for his sexual needs) …”

Dysfunction of the Heart

Rainey explains that for most men who lack sexual desire, the problem is not inadequate desire or physical dysfunction. Instead, he says the true culprit is often a “dysfunction of the heart”—including anger, bitterness and resentment.

Following is a list of questions a wife can ask her husband.

1. Are you angry or bitter at me?
2. Are you totally stressed by problems at work?
3. Are you withdrawing to protect yourself from rejection?
4. Is there other sin in your life?
5. Do my past sexual experiences before marriage anger or intimidate you?
6. Were you sexually abused as a boy?
7. Are you involved in pornography?
8. Might there be an underlying medical problem?
9. Are you experiencing any middle age-related symptoms of low testosterone ("andropause")?

According to Rainey, whatever the reason, “a man who refuses to address his low libido and meet his wife’s needs is putting his marriage at great risk.”

Seek Godly Counsel

If you are wrestling with this issue as a couple, and talking about it seems too difficult, consider getting outside help. Find a pastor or a counselor in whom you can confide. Eventually, you’ll step out of the shadows of isolation and into healing from the One who gives “every good and perfect gift” (James 1:17).

For this information, I’m indebted to a sensitive article published at FamilyLife Today entitled, “Why Sex Is So Important to Your Wife” by Dennis Rainey.

Related

• Twenty Ways to Please Your Lover
• Understanding the Male Sex Drive
• The Secret to Igniting Female Passion

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: "Sexuality." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.

• NEW! Comment Policy. Don't forget to leave a brief comment. BTW, I understand that you might have strong feelings about this post. However, I would ask that you refrain from expressing them here as a courtesy the other commenters, and especially to those who might be new. This is your chance to blog your heart out, Sister!

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!

Photos: scotchmer & gareth1953 (Flickr)

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-03-08T22:09:00.010-08:00

Topic: Sexuality

Please join us for Marriage Monday on March 12, 2012. We’re continuing our series of 21 Hot Buttons that we began a few months ago. Like the other subjects we’ve covered lately, sexuality was raised by a Chrysalis reader as a problem or frustration in her marriage.

Here’s your opportunity to reflect tastefully, rationally, and calmly on the mystery of Christian marital sex.

If you’re hesitant about where to begin, you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts (not required).

1. Sex in the Bible: Study the Scriptures that discuss the importance and benefits of the sexual relationship between a married man and woman. (e.g. 1 Cor 7:2-5 or Song of Songs)

2. Checklist for Sex: Give us a list of ten things you do to affirm your husband's masculinity to successfully “put him in the mood.”

3. Facts of Sex: Discuss how men’s and women’s differing levels of sexual desire (and fluctuating hormones) actually complement each other in a positive way.

4. Sex as Poetry: Analyze the meaning of the amazing metaphor that God has given us through sex about the future indwelling or “tabernacling” of Christ with His Church. (See Eph 5:31-32)

5. Sexual Healing: In three paragraphs or less, gently tell us how you found forgiveness or healing from childhood abuse, rape, pornography, infidelity, or a sexless marriage.

6. Or as always, you’re free to cover this topic in whatever way the Spirit leads.

See you on Monday!

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Cor 7: 2-5 ESV)

Will you have time to join us?

Submission in Christian Marriage

2012-02-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #10: A Wife’s Submission Empowers Her Husband

Q. Why all the fuss about submission? Is it really relevant in today’s egalitarian society?

These last 18 months that my husband has been without a full time job, a time we faced many great storms in our lives, submission has grown in my heart. From having a VERY dysfunctional marriage with two VERY dysfunctional people in this marriage, God has transformed our marriage.

Submission was a VERY bad word for me for a very long time. "Him tell me what to do. Me submit to him?" Give me a break.

God has taught me submission is also honoring and respecting my husband. That is HUGE ... Loving him, commanding me to love him because God KNOWS my flesh would rather not some days.

I have learned that submission brings SO many fruits of the Holy Spirit into the marriage and into the home life period that no other trait can.
It is truly mind boggling but so POWERFUL.–Anne Onymous

A. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sister! Praise the Lord. Yes, biblical submission is more relevant than ever, especially during these challenging economic times. If they work together like a pair of trained Olympic skaters—where the female trusts her partner to guide and support her moves—a couple can glide through life with tremendous strength and beauty.

As a general rule, women’s brains are wired holistically. We function best when we’re in loving, nurturing relationships. In social situations, we naturally take turns playing "Mom" exchanging conversation, care, and emotional support.

On the other hand, most men thrive in competitive situations that establish a hierarchical “pecking order”—particularly in the world of work. Winning against stiff odds helps them feel respected and successful.

When a wife voluntarily chooses to submit to her husband by allowing him to take the lead in their marriage, they both reap many benefits. No longer feeling like he's in competition against her, a husband feels needed and trusted.

This kind of feminine receptivity helps empower a man to shoulder his God-given responsibilities. He rises to the challenge of fulfilling his role as the main bread winner for their family, and he intentionally engages his wife in loving relationship during their off hours.

If you want a more detailed explanation of how a wife's submission empowers her husband please read:

“What Drives Men … and How Wives Can Get the Love They Need”

Related Bible Study

Click here for a short Bible study on submission from Eph 5:22-33. I hope you give it a whirl! Answers to the 25 questions are posted here.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
(Eph 5: 22-24 NIV)

Photos: Nenyaki & Dr. Akomodi (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: "Submission." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a brief comment.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-02-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Topic: Submission

OK, here we go again! Please join us for Marriage Monday on Feb. 20, 2012.
Tell us what you’ve learned about submission in Christian marriage.

For some women, this is a particularly challenging topic. If you're uncomfortable with this one, no worries. Feel free to take a pass this time around.

However, if you’re ready to dive right in—but stumped as to how to begin—you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts.

1. Define the Greek word for submission, "hupotasso" [hoop-ot-as-so].
2. Tell us a story. Show how your submissive attitude blessed your husband on a specific occasion.
3. Expound this biblical passage: Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. Discuss what the Bible has to say about submission outside of marriage
e.g. to bosses, political leaders, and other authorities.

Or, you can cover this topic from whatever angle the Spirit leads.

By the way, I certainly understand the impulse to “vent” when processing new information or difficult issues (such as submission). However, I would ask that you refrain from doing that here in the comments as a courtesy to me your hostess, the other commenters, and especially to those who might be new.

Here's your chance to blog it all out, Sister!

Thank you for keeping Marriage Monday a place where Christian wives of all ages can ponder difficult subjects in a calm and “thinkful” manner.

See you on Monday!

“...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands ...”
(1 Pet 3:4-5 ESV)

Will we see you on Monday?

Welcome to Marriage Monday

2012-01-15T21:00:00.002-08:00

Celebrating Our Womanhood

It's been a few weeks since we've gathered together for Marriage Monday. Today, let's get re-acquainted as women—without spilling any ink about our marriages. This week, boys are not allowed!

The prompts listed below are designed to help us to get to know you as a unique daughter of God. Please complete the sentences (as I have), post your piece on your blog, and then come back here to link up.

Think of your post as a quick pencil sketch of your current life. The faster you write it the better!

I am….. humbled that the Spirit of God dwells within me.
I want….. to explore the outdoors more.
I have….. to wear my glasses for driving.
I wish….. we had more free time to “play.”
I hate….. deceitfulness.
I miss….. our grown children.
I fear….. becoming a widow. However,
I feel….. at peace about God’s plan for my life.
I hear….. the sounds of our dishwasher.
I smell….. fresh coffee brewing.
I crave….. beauty in our home.
I search….. for information online with Swagbucks. (Try it! I earn a $5 Amazon.com gift card approx. every two weeks.)
I wonder….. how old I will live to be … 100? 90? 80?
I regret….. that there has been so much upheaval in the global economy.
I love….. to read books in the bathtub.
I ache….. when I dwell on several unwelcome mid-life transitions.
I care….. deeply for my closest friend. (Guess who?)
I always….. try to prioritize being a good helpmate, especially now that we're empty-nesters.
I am not….. willing to allow Satan’s lies to hurt me—or others.
I believe….. that faith is a choice, and the truths of Scripture are life-giving.
I dance….. in aerobics classes. I would love to try Zumba!
I sing….. in church, and along with the radio.
I cry….. only on Friday nights (especially after a busy week).
I don’t always….. have the energy to listen patiently to women’s problems, unfortunately.
I fight….. for the Truth.
I write….. to teach and encourage others.
I never…. watch football. (But we love to be active outdoors ourselves.)
I listen….. with delight, to sounds of the birds.
I need….. a brand new wardrobe!
I am happy….. to be alive.

"... that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. "

Photo: rautan (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: Celebrating Our Womanhood. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.
• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a comment!
• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.

Text Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-01-12T22:00:00.002-08:00

Topic: Celebrating Womanhood

Thank you for stopping by today! Some of us (like me) have taken a long break from blogging over the holidays. It was a much-needed time of rest and re-charging on an intellectual level. Now I'm ready to launch into some new writing projects, and cheer e-Dad on as he fleshs out a few business ideas he's been incubating.

I'm excited continue our journey together as married Christian women. Our Marriage Monday Blog Hop will return to an every-other-week schedule here at Chrysalis. Please join us! Our topics will be drawn from comments on a post where I posed the question, "What's the Biggest Problem or Frustration in Your Marriage?"

Over the next few months, you can look forward to sharing your wisdom on subjects like money, boredom & apathy, addictions, illness, spirituality, romance, sexuality, SAHMs and more. Click here for a list of topics we've already covered in this series. There's so much to learn and apply. Even after 33 years together, we're still growing as a couple. Thank you Lord!

On Monday (Jan. 16, 2012), I thought it would be fun to get re-acquainted as women—without spilling any ink about our marriages. This time, boys are not allowed. The following prompts are designed to help us to get to know you as a unique daughter of God. Please complete the sentences, post your piece to your blog, and then click over here to Chrysalis to link up.

Think of your post as a quick pencil sketch. The faster you write it the better!

See you soon!

Please Complete These Sentences

I am…..
I want…..
I have…..
I wish…..
I hate…..
I miss…..
I fear…..
I feel…..
I hear…..
I smell…..
I crave…..
I search…..
I wonder…..
I regret…..
I love…..
I ache…..
I care…..
I always…..
I am not…..
I believe…..
I dance…..
I sing…..
I cry…..
I don’t always…..
I fight…..
I write…..
I never….
I listen…..
I need…..
I am happy…..

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. (Prov 18:22 NASB)

Photo: adwriter(Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Humor VIDEO: Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

2011-12-09T00:06:00.001-08:00

Handel Had a Sense of Humor (I Hope)

The serious side of Christmas is a joy, but I hope you're up for some levity and good cheer! Bobbi at MomE & Loving It posted this video clip some time ago, and I know you'll enjoy it. Here's your chance to smile at some of the season's best silliness. (2:57 mins.)

Friday Funnies Meme

Got jokes? Share your family-friendly humor over at Kim's blog, Homesteader's Heart. Her Friday Funnies meme always starts my weekend with a grateful giggle.