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Submission in Christian Marriage

2012-02-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #10: A Wife’s Submission Empowers Her Husband

Q. Why all the fuss about submission? Is it really relevant in today’s egalitarian society?

These last 18 months that my husband has been without a full time job, a time we faced many great storms in our lives, submission has grown in my heart. From having a VERY dysfunctional marriage with two VERY dysfunctional people in this marriage, God has transformed our marriage.

Submission was a VERY bad word for me for a very long time. "Him tell me what to do. Me submit to him?" Give me a break.

God has taught me submission is also honoring and respecting my husband. That is HUGE ... Loving him, commanding me to love him because God KNOWS my flesh would rather not some days.

I have learned that submission brings SO many fruits of the Holy Spirit into the marriage and into the home life period that no other trait can.
It is truly mind boggling but so POWERFUL.–Anne Onymous

A. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sister! Praise the Lord. Yes, biblical submission is more relevant than ever, especially during these challenging economic times. If they work together like a pair of trained Olympic skaters—where the female trusts her partner to guide and support her moves—a couple can glide through life with tremendous strength and beauty.

As a general rule, women’s brains are wired holistically. We function best when we’re in loving, nurturing relationships. In social situations, we naturally take turns playing "Mom" exchanging conversation, care, and emotional support.

On the other hand, most men thrive in competitive situations that establish a hierarchical “pecking order”—particularly in the world of work. Winning against stiff odds helps them feel respected and successful.

When a wife voluntarily chooses to submit to her husband by allowing him to take the lead in their marriage, they both reap many benefits. No longer feeling like he's in competition against her, a husband feels needed and trusted.

This kind of feminine receptivity helps empower a man to shoulder his God-given responsibilities. He rises to the challenge of fulfilling his role as the main bread winner for their family, and he intentionally engages his wife in loving relationship during their off hours.

If you want a more detailed explanation of how a wife's submission empowers her husband please read:

“What Drives Men … and How Wives Can Get the Love They Need”

Related Bible Study

Click here for a short Bible study on submission from Eph 5:22-33. I hope you give it a whirl! Answers to the 25 questions are posted here.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
(Eph 5: 22-24 NIV)

Photos: Nenyaki & Dr. Akomodi (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: "Submission." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a brief comment.

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-02-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Topic: Submission

OK, here we go again! Please join us for Marriage Monday on Feb. 20, 2012.
Tell us what you’ve learned about submission in Christian marriage.

For some women, this is a particularly challenging topic. If you're uncomfortable with this one, no worries. Feel free to take a pass this time around.

However, if you’re ready to dive right in—but stumped as to how to begin—you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts.

1. Define the Greek word for submission, "hupotasso" [hoop-ot-as-so].
2. Tell us a story. Show how your submissive attitude blessed your husband on a specific occasion.
3. Expound this biblical passage: Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. Discuss what the Bible has to say about submission outside of marriage
e.g. to bosses, political leaders, and other authorities.

Or, you can cover this topic from whatever angle the Spirit leads.

By the way, I certainly understand the impulse to “vent” when processing new information or difficult issues (such as submission). However, I would ask that you refrain from doing that here in the comments as a courtesy to me your hostess, the other commenters, and especially to those who might be new.

Here's your chance to blog it all out, Sister!

Thank you for keeping Marriage Monday a place where Christian wives of all ages can ponder difficult subjects in a calm and “thinkful” manner.

See you on Monday!

“...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands ...”
(1 Pet 3:4-5 ESV)

Will we see you on Monday?

Marriage Monday Follow-Up

2012-02-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

How Many Hours Should You Spend Together?

A warm thank you, as always, to those of you who contributed to our Marriage Monday meme. Prompted by a comment from The Surrendered Scribe, our group topic this time was "Overcoming Boredom & Apathy." Your posts contained a wealth of ideas for keeping the romance alive in marriage! It's always a joy to stop by and check in with you.

A few of the commenters had questions about the notion that couples should aim for about fifteen hours a week spending private time together. Christian marriage counselor, Willard Harley PhD has written extensively about why he makes this recommendation. (e-Dad and I have been putting Harley's principle into practice for two decades, and we know it really works!)

You can read more about Dr. Harley's rationale at his site, Marriage Builders.com. On this subject, here is a short quote from his classic best-seller which we highly recommend, His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair-proof Marriage.

"I have noticed that when they are courting, men and women generally spend over fifteen hours a week in recreational activities together ... I can some readers saying, '... I will have to quit my job in order to stay married!'

I’m not suggesting that at all. Shoot for that fifteen hours a week doing mutually interesting activities together. You will solve both problems simultaneously—better communication and mutually fulfilling recreation time. In our own marriage, Joyce and I maintain a fifteen-hour schedule on a steady basis. We have what I call an integrated marriage: We are involved together in recreational pursuits and are interested in the other’s work. For example, my wife has become my constant advisor (and occasional critic) during the writing of this book.

The key? We stay together on things. We make that our first priority. When we get invited to participate in activities that will tend to separate us, we refuse the invitation. If a responsibility begins to separate us, we drop it from our agendas.

It is never simple or easy. We both have extremely busy schedules and could easily say, 'There’s just no time to get together,' but we have refused to ever tell ourselves, much less believe, that lie. While fifteen hours of quality communication or recreation time with my wife may seem difficult to arrange, I owe it to her and myself to put that time aside, and I do. She does the same.

Many couples tell me they simply cannot start right out with a fifteen-hour-a-week pace for communication and recreation. I recommend that they begin by planning five hours a week for the first month. During the second month, they should increase to six hours a week, and then add an hour each week over succeeding months, until they achieve fifteen hours. In a year or less, they will find those fifteen hours the most refreshing and rehabilitating ones of their entire week. I know this principle works. I have seen it save many marriages and it certainly has kept my own marriage strong and healthy.

The principle that urges us to make our mates our primary recreational companions places no impossible restraints on anyone. Instead it invites both spouse to new dimensions in communicating, negotiating, and above all in just enjoying each other. Harley’s Fourth Law of Marriage puts it this way:

'The couple that plays together stays together.'"

Overcoming Boredom & Apathy

2012-02-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #9: Overcoming Boredom & Apathy

Q. Can you suggest some practical ways we can connect as a romantic couple on a regular basis?

Our challenge is apathy/mediocrity. We are dedicated to our kids, work, and ministry. We give, give, give so much to others we forget each other. I didn't know how much so until I watched Fireproof. —Julie A.
The Surrendered Scribe

A. e-Dad and I have discovered that having fun together is an important way to create positive feelings toward each other, and toward life in general. When our children were young, we began setting aside Wednesday and Saturday nights as our private “date-nights.”

Even though we’re empty nesters now (with greater flexibility) we still get out of the house together for pre-planned activities. This breaks up our weekly work routine, relieves stress, renews hope, and keeps the friendship side of our marriage thriving.

"The couple that plays together stays together."—Willard Harley, PhD

We Plan Fifteen Hours a Week for Play

Christian marriage counselor and author, Willard Harley (His Needs Her Needs) encourages couples to set aside a total of fifteen hours a week for recreational companionship. Why? Harley says that when couples develop mutually enjoyable interests they become "best friends." The likelihood of a separation or divorce between couples who are best friends and still “in love” is minimized.

We Create a Master List Together

"If any recreational activity enjoyed by one spouse bothers the other spouse or cannot include the other spouse, it must be abandoned."
—Willard Harley, PhD

According to His Needs Her Needs, the best way to discover common interests, is for each spouse to draw up a list of forty or fifty activities they personally love or that sound interesting.

Then the couple should combine their two lists into one master list and rate each activity on a scale from minus 4 (absolutely hate) to plus 4 (absolutely love). This results in a refined list of ten or fifteen activities the husband and wife would both enjoy doing together.

e-Dad and I have completed this exercise countless times. Of course, our taste in fun has changed many times in thirty-plus years of marriage. Brainstorming together always produces fresh enthusiasm for our dates. We try to create a new list with every change of season—usually over cheesy burritos at our favorite Mexican restaurant!

Spending Time (Not Money) is our Goal

Discount coupons from the Entertainment Guide or Groupon make going out more affordable. But spending a lot of money is not our goal. For instance, our move to Arizona has motivated no-cost daily walks around our neighborhood. And we still head to DQ about once-a-month for cheap ice cream.

Moving to a wonderful new “playground” (in the Phoenix area) last summer has certainly injected new life into our dates. And it's high season right now in the Valley of the Sun. We both agree we have absolutely no excuse to be bored!

Our "Top-Ten" Checklist for Winter 2012

1. Hiking in the McDowell Sonoran Preserve
2. Kayaking on Lake Serena
3. Flashlight Tour at the Desert Botanical Garden
4. Golfing at Troon North
5. Thursday Art Walk in Old Town Scottsdale
6. Biking on Camelback Trail
7. Heard Museum of American Indian Art
8. Paolo Soleri’s Wind Bells at Arcosanti
9. Arizona Natural History Museum (Dinosaurs)
10. Pueblo Grande Museum Archaeological Park

Fourth Image: jmgphoto (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: "Overcoming Boredom & Apathy." If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a brief comment!

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-02-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

Topic: Overcoming Boredom & Apathy

Life certainly has its ups and downs—it has busy, exciting times and slow, dull, normal times. Marriage is the same way. When we were young and full of love, it seemed we never ran out of new things to discover with (and about) each other. Remember?

After a few years of "wedded bliss" however, for some of us, a depressing sameness can settle in. No doubt you’ve heard of couples who have divorced, blaming their separation on the “seven year itch.”

Most couples try to maintain tight control of the whirl of activity that begins soon after children arrive. If you’re a Mom, it’s likely you’ve established predictable rhythms of housework, school schedules, family fun time, volunteer work, perhaps a job, and personal down-time.

Unfortunately, keeping family life running smoothly (and paying for it all) takes so much energy, sometimes couples have nothing left over for their friendship. During those stress-filled seasons, boredom and apathy can easily infect a marriage.

Have you been there? Are you there now? What are you doing to inject fresh vitality into your relationship? What do you and your husband do together purely for fun?

Please share your wisdom with us next week. Plan to gather here at Chrysalis once again for the Marriage Monday Blog Hop on Feb. 6, 2012. Tell us how you’ve exercised your God-given creativity to renew the intimacy and romance in your relationship.

As always, I welcome linkers in all ages and stages of married life: old, young, seasoned and newlywed. This time, I would especially love to read your insights if you've been married for over ten years.

See you soon!

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18 NIV)

Photos: rocketship (Flickr)

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Welcome to Marriage Monday

2012-01-15T21:00:00.000-08:00

Celebrating Our Womanhood

It's been a few weeks since we've gathered together for Marriage Monday. Today, let's get re-acquainted as women—without spilling any ink about our marriages. This week, boys are not allowed!

The prompts listed below are designed to help us to get to know you as a unique daughter of God. Please complete the sentences (as I have), post your piece on your blog, and then come back here to link up.

Think of your post as a quick pencil sketch of your current life. The faster you write it the better!

I am….. humbled that the Spirit of God dwells within me.
I want….. to explore more of our new state of Arizona.
I have….. to wear my sunglasses nearly every day!
I wish….. we had more free time to “play.”
I hate….. deceitfulness.
I miss….. our grown children.
I fear….. becoming a widow. However,
I feel….. at peace about God’s plan for my life.
I hear….. the sounds of our dishwasher.
I smell….. fresh coffee brewing.
I crave….. beauty in our home, and a some new peer friendships.
I search….. for information online with Swagbucks. (Try it! I earn a $5 Amazon.com gift card approx. every two weeks.)
I wonder….. how old I will live to be … 100? 90? 80?
I regret….. that there has been so much upheaval in the global economy.
I love….. to read books in the bathtub.
I ache….. when I dwell on several unwelcome mid-life transitions.
I care….. deeply for my closest friend. (Guess who?)
I always….. try to prioritize being a good helpmate, especially now that we're empty-nesters.
I am not….. willing to allow Satan’s lies to hurt me—or others.
I believe….. that faith is a choice, and the truths of Scripture are life-giving.
I dance….. in aerobics classes. I would love to try Zumba!
I sing….. in church, and along with the radio.
I cry….. only on Friday nights (especially after a busy week).
I don’t always….. have the energy to listen patiently to women’s problems, unfortunately.
I fight….. for the Truth.
I write….. to teach and encourage others.
I never…. watch football. (But we love to be active outdoors ourselves.)
I listen….. with delight, to the cooing of mourning doves nesting in our chimney.
I need….. a brand new wardrobe, now that I don't need boots and an umbrella anymore.
I am happy….. to be living in such a beautiful oasis in the desert.

"... that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. "

Photo: rautan (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: Celebrating Our Womanhood. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic.
• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a comment!
• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2012-01-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

Topic: Celebrating Womanhood

Thank you for stopping by today! Some of us (like me) have taken a long break from blogging over the holidays. It was a much-needed time of rest and re-charging on an intellectual level. Now I'm ready to launch into some new writing projects, and help e-Dad flesh out a few business ideas he's been incubating.

I'm excited continue our journey together as married Christian women. Our Marriage Monday Blog Hop will return to an every-other-week schedule here at Chrysalis. Please join us! Our topics will be drawn from comments on a post where I posed the question, "What's the Biggest Problem or Frustration in Your Marriage?"

Over the next few months, you can look forward to sharing your wisdom on subjects like money, boredom & apathy, addictions, illness, spirituality, romance, sexuality, SAHMs and more. Click here for a list of topics we've already covered in this series. There's so much to learn and apply. Even after 33 years together, we're still growing as a couple. Thank you Lord!

On Monday (Jan. 16, 2012), I thought it would be fun to get re-acquainted as women—without spilling any ink about our marriages. This time, boys are not allowed. The following prompts are designed to help us to get to know you as a unique daughter of God. Please complete the sentences, post your piece to your blog, and then click over here to Chrysalis to link up.

Think of your post as a quick pencil sketch. The faster you write it the better!

See you soon!

Please Complete These Sentences

I am…..
I want…..
I have…..
I wish…..
I hate…..
I miss…..
I fear…..
I feel…..
I hear…..
I smell…..
I crave…..
I search…..
I wonder…..
I regret…..
I love…..
I ache…..
I care…..
I always…..
I am not…..
I believe…..
I dance…..
I sing…..
I cry…..
I don’t always…..
I fight…..
I write…..
I never….
I listen…..
I need…..
I am happy…..

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. (Prov 18:22 NASB)

Photo: adwriter(Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Marriage: Our Engagement Story

2011-12-04T15:47:00.001-08:00

Will You Marry Me?

Maybe you've seen the quote on Pinterest that says, “Anyone is a lot more attractive when they’re funny.”

I freely admit e-Dad won my heart by sprinkling our conversations with lots of bad jokes and one-liners. He tells me that in school growing up he was the “class clown” and I believe it. (And oh yes, he was elected as high school junior class president too.)

If there’s one thing we have going for us, we both love a good laugh.

As you can see from the photos (below) we got engaged a.long.time.ago! We’re now enjoying our thirty fourth (34) year of mawwage. In those days, e-Dad was an amateur dark room photographer, and he was determined to get a shot of that amazing moment. I thought his idea was crazy!

e-Dad did get two fantastic photos, which he later developed himself.
So here we are: two young people in our early twenties excited about love, getting married, and starting our new life together. God has blessed us, hasn’t he?

Conversation Transcript

Planning and executing the big event was e-Dad’s job, so I asked him to recount his memories of popping the question. We recorded this conversation on our walk tonight.

1. We enjoyed a long distance romance. What do you remember about our love letters?

Well, I recall very distinctly how enjoyable they were, and how I looked forward to receiving them, and how much fun they were to compose. And also what was pretty amazing was how we'd gotten to the point where we had both made a list of what we were looking for in a spouse. We sent them off to each other and they crossed in the mail. And all of that without prompting from either one of us.

2. At what point in our friendship did you decide that I was “The One?”

We knew each other for three years, and of course I enjoyed all of the times we actually got together and we were able to "play" and do things in person.

But when I got really serious was on a men's retreat where the focus was on fasting and seeking God's direction. And at that point, I actually did get a "word" to pursue you my wife-to-be, whom I was very strongly committed to—that would probably be the confirmation. Of course, I had considered all of the possibilities before that. But that was definitely the confirmation.

3. Where did you take me to ask, “Will you marry me?”

I remember preparing for a ... actually, it was a "mystery tour" although we didn't call it that at the time. But it was a surprise picnic to Lake Wenatchee up in the North Cascades [Mountains in Washington State].

Beautiful setting. It was springtime, and the snow had melted. Still a little nippy out, but it was beautiful out. Clear weather and we went to the lakeside. And I sat you down on the log, put my knee down on the ground, and held your hand, and looked into your eyes, and asked if you would marry me.

And you were trembling! (Much laughter.) And then it was so much fun we did it twice! So we could take a picture the second time.

4. What was my reaction?

Oh your reaction was wonderful! I am glad I memorialized it on a photo! It was sheer shock and amazement ... and "oh my goodness!" And of course the question everybody has is, "What was your answer?"

Yes, of course you said "yes." Much to my happiness.

5. How did you set up the photo shoot?

Well, after I gave you a few minutes to compose yourself (laughter), I took my trusty Pentax SLR camera over to another log and positioned it to face the two of us, as I was kneeling. I put on the timer and asked you again, and your reaction is priceless.

6. What did you do about a ring?

At that particular time we didn't actually have a ring. We later went to the jeweler's and selected some. So the proposal went without a hitch, even though there wasn't actually a ring involved. Just two happy hearts.

7. How did our families react to our engagement?

Well my family was quite positive about the event even though they hadn't met the "young lady" yet. It was more my friends and since I had been in Young Life, most of my friends were through YL and church. And of course they were all thrilled—they had all met the "young lady" at various events from time to time.

As for your family, your mother was mortified (laughter). Your Dad said, "It's your life, do with it as you wish." No, strike that. Um, your mother was quite surprised, and I don't think she expected that event to happen, although she was supportive—after the third kid (laughter). We only have two (laughter).

8. In retrospect, what would you have done differently?

Well, I would have built a house first, and gotten a nice regular steady job—instead of a degree in psychology. And probably—if you're idealistic—maybe you'd never get married, eh?

That's a good question (pause). No, I didn't want to be a priest (laughter).

I wouldn't change anything.

Related Posts: "The Crazy Way We Met" "Our Wedding Day" and
"Our Honeymoon"

Photo: thinklia (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: Engagement. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to this topic. Tell us how you became engaged to be married. How did your husband pop the question?

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM MT on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a comment!

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

2011-12-02T17:37:00.001-08:00

Group Topic: Engagement

Did you enjoy your holiday? This week, we’ve been busy catching up in our business, after enjoying our son’s visit over Thanksgiving. He drove all the way from Texas to Arizona to show off his new car. He’s really been enjoying his new job on campus at the U of T. And now, after all these years, there’s no one in our immediate family left in the Pacific “Northwet.” We’re becoming sunny southerners!

According to wedding consultants and bridal shops we've just entered "engagement season." Apparently, this special time of year between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day is when nearly one third of all couples become engaged. “Weddings take place year ‘round,” says Tom Curtin, publisher of Bridal Guide magazine, “But the holiday season’s focus on home, family and gift-giving makes it the perfect time of year to pop the question.”

How Did Your Husband Pop the Question?

I thought it would be fun to do a little reminiscing. Do you remember the day your husband proposed? Was it an elaborate event or just a private romantic moment between the two of you? I’ve heard of everything from balloon rides and meadow picnics to dessert-for-two on a dinner train. Did your husband get down on one knee? Did he give you a ring? What’s your story?

Since this topic was my ever-loving husband’s brilliant idea, I’ve asked him to chime in. My post will be a short interview with e-Dad, since he was the prime mover behind our engagement. He planned the time and the place, and he’ll be sharing his memories of how he proposed. You’re welcome to take that approach too, if you want.

Please don't worry if your engagement story doesn't match the glamor of Hollywood. Just share the details of the tender beginnings of your married life together.

I can't wait to read your story!

Will you join us? Please do!

See you on Monday.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." (Jn 14:1-3 NIV)

Related: Ancient Jewish Wedding Customs. (Betrothal and Jesus' pledge of faithfulness to the Church at the Last Supper.)

Photo: streetphotos (Flickr)

Will you be able to join us on Monday?

Holiday: Happy Thanksgiving (U.S.)

2011-11-22T15:52:00.000-08:00

Nothing Bad Has Ever Happened to Me!

A human life lived with a grateful attitude is itself a form of a blessing, as this old Chassidic story will relate:

A chassid once asked Rebbe Emimelech, "How is it possible to bless God for bad news with equal fervor as for good news?"

"Go to the study hall" replied the Rebbe, " and ask your question to my brother, the saintly Reb Zusia."

When the chassid saw Reb Zusia, he could easily discern the suffering this man must have experienced during his lifetime. The pain of illness... and poverty were all etched indelibly on his face. The chassid then asked Zusia, "How is it possible to bless God for bad news with equal fervor as for good news?"

Reb Zusia replied, "But why are you asking me? How would I know
the answer? Nothing bad has ever happened to me!"

I am certain the point of this story is not lost on any of us ... everything depends on our attitude. If we want joy in this life, we must learn to focus on the good. Engaging the mind with the awareness that God is the Source of all that is good is a means of increasing our joy in this life.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friend!

Story via hebrew4christians

Photos: Periwinkle Flowers

Marriage: Fatigue & Time Pressure

2011-11-20T20:41:00.000-08:00

Advice from a Marriage & Family Expert

Time! We all have too little of it! (Or so it seems.)

Stepping back a minute from the holiday crush, I wanted to focus on the bigger picture, and how time pressures can lead to a downward spiral in our marriages. Fortunately, there's something we can do to prevent a complete implosion.

The following excerpt was taken from an interview with former president of Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson. Published in an article, "The Family in Crisis" in August 2001, Dobson's thoughts are just as relevant today as they were 10 years ago.

Q. If you had to indicate the one factor that has done more damage to families than any other, what would it be?

A. It would be the almost universal condition of fatigue and time pressure, which leaves every member of the family exhausted and harried. Many of them have nothing left to invest in their marriages or in the nurturing of children. Fifty-nine percent of boys and girls come home to empty houses every afternoon, during which anything can happen.

I believe the two-career family during the child rearing years creates a level of stress that is tearing people apart.

This hurried lifestyle puts great pressure on women. Many of them are trapped in a chaotic world that constantly threatens to overwhelm them. Some of these young women grew up in busy, dysfunctional, career-oriented households, and they want something better for their kids. And yet financial pressures and the expectations of others keep them on a treadmill that renders them unable to cope. I have never said publicly what I will share now—and I will be criticized for saying so in this context—but I believe the two-career family during the child rearing years creates a level of stress that is tearing people apart. And it often deprives children of something that they will search for the rest of their lives.

If a scale-back from this lifestyle, which I call "routine panic," ever grows into a movement, it will portend wonderfully for the family. It should result in fewer divorces and more domestic harmony. Children will regain the status they deserve and their welfare will be enhanced on a thousand fronts. We haven't begun to approach these goals yet, but I pray that a significant segment of the population will awaken someday from the nightmare of overcommitment and say, "The way we live is crazy. There has to be a better way than this to raise our kids. We will make the financial sacrifices necessary to slow the pace of living."

For a much longer excerpt from this interview, take a minute to read my article, "Christian Marriage: Workaholism & Divorce."

Related: Living With Less so Your Family Has More

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Pslam 90:12 ESV)

Photos: aloshbennet (Flickr)

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: OPEN. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. You're free to write on whatever aspect of Christian marriage is on your heart. However, if you would like to discuss the topic of "Time" by all means, please share your insights. Tell us, how do you juggle childcare, housework, outside work, and above all quality time with your ever-loving husband?

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave me a comment!

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.

Text Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2011-11-18T22:11:00.001-08:00

Group Topic: OPEN

This coming Monday, I was going to suggest “Time” as our topic.

Ironically, right now I am swamped—and you may be too. (Yes, I do have a list of topics planned in advance … almost a year’s worth!)

On Monday, let’s forgo the usual structure and just hang loose. I’d like to keep our topic wide open. You’re free to write on any angle of Christian marriage that strikes your fancy. However, if you want some guidelines, and you would like to write about the subject of “Time” in marriage, by all means
please do.

Tell us how you juggle childcare, housework, outside work, and above all quality time with your ever-loving husband. What makes your marriage “tick,” so to speak? And how do you keep your household humming along smoothly through the holiday period?

I look forward to reading your post. I know there are many sisters in the Christian blogosphere who need your wise counsel. See you on Monday!

“Our greatest challenge right now is getting time apart from one another. We live together, work together, sleep together, play together, minister together... and so on. I find myself trying to stay up after he has gone to bed or get up early to get in some time alone. I love my husband and I love our life here in Russia... I would just like an afternoon or a day to myself now and then!!—Alida

Graphic: Via Alida Sharp (Pinterest)

Up Next—Marriage Monday

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

Holiday: Thanksgiving Hospitality Ideas

2011-11-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

Gathered Round the Table

Alright, I admit it. I love Thanksgiving! I've been scrambling to research some new recipes to try on our family—in the midst of blogging, Facebooking, emailing, and pinning. Oh, and did I mention working all day in our office with
e-Dad?

Chances are pretty good that you're beginning to scramble a bit too.
And guess what's right around the corner... Christmas! Most of us love the holiday season, but it does require a lot of extra effort.

Here are a few hospitality links that might make the next ten days sail by a little more smoothly for you.

1. Food Glorious Food! Take a peek at these amazing recipes on my Thanksgiving pin board at Pinterest. I did a Pinterest search and came up with some fabulous options. So easy! The dessert selection includes spiced pumpkin and maple ice cream, chocolate espresso pecan pie, and layered pumpkin toffee cheesecake. And that's just the beginning.

Befuddled by your bird? Here's a cool graphic explaining the finer points of
How to Carve a Turkey.

2. If you're at a loss for fresh ideas to keep the conversation rolling around your festive holiday table, this article "Thirteen Ways to Celebrate (U.S.) Thanksgiving" at Susannah's {Kitchen} might be helpful. Ideas like retelling family stories, giving thanks Jewish style, playing a game called "five kernels each" or reading Proclamation are on the list.

3. What's Thanksgiving without giving thanks? You can link up a post for one of the Christian blogosphere's most popular memes, Thankful Thursday and bring honor the Lord of all. You could start by listing all the things you appreciate about your spouse. (I'm grateful for our healthy new grand son, who is now six weeks old.)

Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, King of the universe, who brings forth
bread from the earth.

Baruk atah adonai, eloheinu meleck ha-olam, hamotzi lehem meen
ha-aretz.

Photos: Bakers Royale, Pinterest & lordog (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder: Group Topic Announcement

How are you planning to spend Thanksgiving this year?

How to Guide Erring Younger Women Gracefully

2011-11-13T10:28:00.001-08:00

A Question for You ...

This summer, one of my Boomer peers in the blogosphere, Barbara H. (Stray Thoughts) wrote me and asked a question about mentoring younger Christian women. Since everyone of us is older than someone, her question is applicable to Christian women of all ages.

Whether you are 25 or 55, there are plenty of sweet young ladies who crave your time, biblical wisdom, and encouragement. (If you're an empty-nester, you know there's plenty of mothering still to do!) I'm going to let you eavesdrop on part of our email conversation.

And then, please share your own thoughts in response to Barbara's question:

How do you as an "older woman" guide erring younger women/Moms gracefully?

By the way, if you're a younger Mom, please share what you expect and hope for from the older spiritual mothers in your life.

Conversation Between Barbara H & e-Mom

Hi e-Mom,

I have a question I've been pondering and I thought I'd toss it out as a potential idea for a Marriage Monday or other discussion on your blog.

We know that as older women we're supposed to teach the younger, and many young women say they really want that. I know sometimes that takes the form of books, articles, devotionals, even blog posts, etc.
But I think a lot of it was meant to take place in the course of every day life as we interact with each other.
(I wrote a blog post about this here.)

So my question is, what do you do when you see a young woman being unsubmissive to her husband—going toe to toe and insisting he do what she wants when he has already said he wants to do something different. Or a young mom failing to discipline her child or making threats the child knows full well she won't keep, etc. I'm actually a bit more sympathetic to the young mom issue because I know it is awkward when a child acts out in front of others and she may not want to discipline then.

I know if/when we say anything it should only be with the greatest gentleness and in the Lord's leading and not in the heat of the moment. But it seems like instruction in those moments would be taken as being a busybody. And when it comes to a daughter-in-law, it seems like it would come across as "taking sides" with a son to say something to her about an incident when she wasn't submissive, besides seeming "meddling." My general stance is not to say anything unless asked. But I don't know if that's right.

That's why I thought it might make for an interesting conversation both among older women as they share their responses and among younger women as they share how they'd like or dislike an older woman's help in such situations. But it's just an idea—if you don't think it is a good one. I understand perfectly.

Barbara H. @ Stray Thoughts
(Hostess of wonderful "The Week in Words" Monday Meme)

Hi Barbarah H!

What a good topic—how do we as "older women" guide erring younger women/Moms gracefully?

Honestly, I don't have a much experience to draw from, mostly because my ministry to younger ladies is in the form of the written word, through blogging. And eventually I hope to expand that to include e-books and Bible studies. I think of my instruction as a "pro-active" teaching ministry—rather than "remedial" or counseling.

My primary goal is to nip potential problems in the bud, hopefully to avert much bigger problems down the road.

But of course, bigger problems do occur. I've discovered that blogging (and Marriage Monday) are very serious ministry, and it can be a heavy responsibility.

For example, about twice/month a deeply hurting woman contacts me asking for comfort and counsel by email. After offering my best answer, I always encourage her to meet with her local pastor or a professional therapist to seek face-to-face advice. You're SO right, the best mentoring/counseling is done by someone "with skin on" and who can offer longer term follow-up.

Like you, I tread very carefully when I run into real life situations that require a loving "rebuke." It seems there is always underlying unresolved anger, which is causing the person to "act out." The adage "hurting people hurt others" seems true in most cases, and sympathy toward the erring sister can go a long way to winning their trust. Once they trust me, then I feel more free to speak up, especially when they haven't asked for my advice. Then my thoughts are usually well-received. But that takes time, and lots of it.

By the way, I've discovered it's nearly impossible to correct erring Christian Boomer peers on the subject of submission. The Lord knows that "older to the younger" works best. I've found out that there's good reason for that particular biblical mandate! I'm learning to keep my mouth closed with my girlfriends, and let the Lord bring someone older into their lives. Perhaps you've experienced the same kind of resistance from your peers too!

I guess the short answer to your question would be to build a relationship of trust with any younger woman (especially a daughter-in-law) who needs correction. Then I'm sure she'll receive whatever counsel you might have to offer as positive words of concern, rather than as criticism.

God bless you for your interest in younger Moms. I've noticed that you're truly a mature Titus 2 Christian woman, and I encourage you to move forward in your calling as a mentor—especially in-real-life!

Warm hugs,

e-Mom ღ (Complete Bio)

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:3-5 NIV)

Related: Marriage Monday: How to Deal with Difficult In-Laws

Photos: pixieclipx (1 & 4) djking (2) & Susan NYC (3)(Flickr)

Up Next—Christian Hospitality

How do you as an "older woman" guide erring younger women gracefully?

Extreme Animals in the Womb

2011-11-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Selah

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139: 14 NIV)

Images: The Suite World Via Pinterest.

Have you discovered Pinterest? Pinterest is a virtual pinboard and allows you to organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. You can browse pinboards created by other people to discover new things and get inspiration from people like me who share your interests. To get started, request an invite.

Up Next—Spiritual Growth: Our Call to Mentor Younger Women ...
at Any Age

If you're on Pinterest, please leave me a comment so I can Follow you!

Holiday Stress Relief

2011-11-08T11:44:00.000-08:00

What's Your Favorite Way to Relax?

Soaking in the bathtub with lavender essential oil, taking a walk with e-Dad, looking for recipes on Pinterest, or flipping through a shelter magazine. These are a few of my favorite ways to de-stress at the end of a busy day.

Protect Your Health

The experts tell us that if there's one thing that gets in the way of optimal health, it's stress. Research shows that anxiety can make us sleep fewer hours, get sick more often, remember less, and eat more. We've all heard the statistics: the majority of doctor visits are for stress-related complaints like indigestion, headaches, and back pain.

The holidays are coming, and with all the revelry comes our great expectation to roll out the red carpet for our family and friends. And of course, that adds up to a whole lot of stress! Have you ever thought about the fact that in simpler agrarian times, the autumn was a season of harvest and celebration followed by a long period of rest?

Therefore, it's essential that we focus on what's truly important to us during the holidays, and take mini "time-outs" along the way.

13 Easy Ways to Chill Out

So what can we do to block the stress hormone cortisol and rev up the production of happiness-inducing brain chemicals like seratonin?
Try these:

1. Watch a comedy DVD and laugh it up
2. Sip chamomile tea
3. Go for a short, easy run
4. Walk your dog
5. Listen to your favorite music
6. Go get lattes with a girlfriend and take
turns sharing feelings
7. Use full-spectrum light bulbs
8. Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, or a pedicure
9. Light some candles
10. Cuddle with your spouse (or make love)
11. Write in your journal or blog
12. Flip through photos of your last vacation
13. Read the Psalms

"... but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31 NIV)

Photos: SteveEggleston & TiltonLane (Flickr)

Up Next—Humor

How do you switch on your brain's pleasure centers? (Chocolate?)

How to Deal With Difficult In-Laws

2011-11-06T11:41:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Marriage Monday!

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #7: How to Deal with Difficult In-Laws

Q. Every day my mother-in-law called to try to talk my husband into divorcing me ... We had to change phone numbers twice in our marriage just so she won't reach us. It's hard for us to be "incommunicado" to his family because we love them, but what is left for us to do?

My husband came from a pure Chinese background, his dad died when he was five years old and so he was practically raised by his over-protective, demanding, strict and Buddhist mother. The whole family converted to Christianity when my husband was a child but the only reason for the conversion was because it was good for business and all Chinese businessmen who converted attested that their businesses flourished thereafter.

However, my husband was another story. His conversion became genuine when he reached his early twenties and he defied all Chinese traditions and beliefs that were also against Scriptures. And then, he met me - a non-Chinese who had no business and no fat bank account. My mother-in-law was furious that even on the day of our wedding, she made a little scene that confirmed to everyone in attendance that I am not welcome to my husband's family.

A year and four months into our marriage, she still won't stop. My husband and I are both active in the ministry and we are happy with our income, we are happy that we still don't have a child (because we think having one at this point might force us to slow down on the ministry) although we are not on birth control or anything, we are happy that we rent a small apartment with three cats and a household help who recently professed her faith in Jesus Christ.

But my mother-in-law is raging mad about it all. Everyday she'd call and talk my husband into divorcing me, using my inability to get pregnant as grounds for divorce. We had to change phone numbers twice in our marriage just so she won't reach us, it's hard for us to be "incommunicado" to his family because we love them, but what is left for us to do? We also have tried many, many, many times to evangelize to her, but she remains loyal to her Buddhist faith, which really breaks my husband's heart.—Hazel

A. I'm so sorry you feel rejected by your mother-in-law. I can only begin to imagine your pain. As women, God has wired us to find our fulfillment and joy in happy, satisfying relationships—especially with family members. Our deepest pain comes when there is disharmony amongst those who are closest to us. I hurt for you.

In Genesis, God’s curse on Adam affected his work and ability to provide for his family. But God’s curse on Eve was closely tied to her relationships with her husband and children. “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’” (Gen 3:16 NASB)

Just as you are in great pain, I suspect that your mother-in-law is feeling a lot of pain too. No doubt she feels rejected by her son, and displaced by you, her precious son’s new wife. She is probably angry and grieving that she has lost her “surrogate spouse.” As a widow, no doubt she counted on her son (your husband) to meet her needs for male companionship during the years that he was growing up.

I imagine that there is no woman on the face of this earth who would be “good enough” to marry her son. The deeper problem probably has little to do with your ethnicity, Christian faith, or lack of money. The issue is probably not whom your husband married, but that he got married at all!

By establishing strong boundaries such as changing your phone number, your mother-in-law will eventually get the message that her bullying tactics are not working. I hope you don’t take her rejection personally, but continue to offer her grace and understanding.

Perhaps in time, she will accept and embrace your marriage, and even your Christian faith. Hopefully, she will recognize that she hasn’t lost a son, but rather, she’s gained a very special and loving daughter.

How to Offer Grace in Every In-Law Conflict

To help us all remember how to respond in a Godly way, the following prompts each begin with a letter that spells the word G.R.A.C.E.

G. Grieve your injury; you have been wronged.
R. Receive the support and love of others.
A. Ask God to give you the ability to forgive and empathize with your in-laws.
C. Continue to express honor (respect) and patience as adjustments are made.
E. Establish reasonable boundaries until lasting change has occurred.

Photos: rdcmaster & CrackerandCheese (Flickr)

Related: As we enter the holiday period, family hospitality may be on your mind. If so, consider taking a minute to visit Susannah's {Kitchen}.

It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

• Group Topic: In-Laws. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. What advice would you offer to a married couple who are suffering through a period of conflict with their in-laws? Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?

• Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PDT) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to click your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave me a comment!

• If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.

Text Linky

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2011-11-03T11:37:00.000-07:00

Our Topic: In-Laws

Mother-in-law jokes abound. But most of us married folk know that she's really no joke at all. Getting along well with your spouse's mother can be effortless ... or a royal pain.

Check one. Do you enjoy supportive in-laws? Or do you consider them conflict-ridden outlaws? How have you learned to make lasting peace with these special VIPs in your life?

Please share your seasoned advice and wisdom on this topic on Monday, November 7, 2011. We covered this subject as a group before. How have you grown in your relationships with your husband's parents since then?

With several extended family holiday gatherings ahead, let's talk about this once again.

I hope to see you on Monday, sweet sister!

Nine Ways Writing About Marriage Changes Things

1. Writing about marriage changes how we think. It clarifies our feelings and encourages us to seek God's Truth. (All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching... 2 Tim 3:16)

2. Writing about marriage makes us wonder what the experts have to say. (With an abundance of counselors there is safety... Prov 11:14)

3. Writing about marriage causes us to reflect on our experience. It gives us the desire to teach others what we've learned. (Teach them to your children and your grandchildren... Deut 4:8-9)

4. Writing about marriage is a safe way to blow off steam. (Don't let the sun go down on your anger... Eph 4:26)

5. Writing about marriage helps us to remember that everyone makes mistakes. We can learn from them and move forward. (All have sinned... Rom 3:23)

6. Writing about marriage reminds us that there will always be areas in our marriage that need improvement. (The ear of the wise seeks knowledge...
Prov 18:15)

7. Writing about marriage teaches us about self-control. Alone with our words, we discover we have the power to change the behavior of only one person: ourselves. (Fruit of the spirit is love, joy... and self-control. Gal 5:22-23)

8. Writing about marriage can be a form of prayer. Often, when we write about our problems, our spirit opens up to hear God's answers. (Ask, seek, knock... Matt 7:7)

9. Writing about marriage increases our gratitude for the life partner God has given us. (A good wife is from the Lord... Prov 19:14)

Photos: Museo Ilusionario (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday

In the illustration, do you see a crabby old woman or a pretty
young girl?

What's the Emerging Church Movement?

2011-11-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

Five Enlightening Links

The emerging / emergent church movement falls into line with basic post-modernist thinking—it is about experience over reason, subjectivity over objectivity, spirituality over religion, images over words, outward over inward, feelings over truth. These are reactions to modernism and are thought to be necessary in order to actively engage contemporary culture ... [Most groups] embrace post-modernist thinking, which eventually leads to a very liberal, loose translation of the Bible. This, in turn, lends to liberal doctrine and theology.—Got Questions.org

Intelligent discussion and debate about the emerging church is not new in blogging circles. However, maybe you have just encountered the movement for the first time. Or perhaps you've begun to question and think deeply about it. Here are a few current links that might help shed some light on this subject for you.

1. What is the Emerging / Emergent Church Movement?
by GotQuestions.org

2. Emerging Church: A Road to Interspirituality Through Mysticism
by Lighthouse Trails Research

3. What is Contemplative Prayer? by GotQuestions.org

4. John MacArthur Says Emerging Church in "Disarray & Decline"—Evidence Shows Differently by Lighthouse Trails Research

5. A Theological Conversation Worth Having: A Response to Brian McLaren by Albert Mohler

Related: What do Steve Jobs's Final Words Mean?
(Oh Wow, Oh Wow, Oh Wow) by the Washington Post

The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. (2 Thess 2:9-10 NIV)

Linked at Courtney's Women in the Word Wednesdays.

Photos: Mystic Lens (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder. Group Topic: In-Laws

Your thoughts?

Bible Study: The Truth About Ghosts & Hauntings

2011-10-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

A Timely Excerpt from GotQuestions.org

Question: "What does the Bible say about ghosts / hauntings?"

Answer: Is there such a thing as ghosts? The answer to this question depends on what precisely is meant by the term “ghosts.” If the term means “spirit beings,” the answer is a qualified “yes.” If the term means “spirits of people who have died,” the answer is “no.” The Bible makes it abundantly clear that there are spirit beings, both good and evil. But the Bible negates the idea that the spirits of deceased human beings can remain on earth and “haunt” the living.

Hebrews 9:27 declares, “Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” That is what happens to a person’s soul-spirit after death—judgment. The result of this judgment is heaven for the believer (2 Corinthians 5:6-8; Philippians 1:23) and hell for the unbeliever (Matthew 25:46; Luke 16:22-24). There is no in-between. There is no possibility of remaining on earth in spirit form as a “ghost.” If there are such things as ghosts, according to the Bible, they absolutely cannot be the disembodied spirits of deceased human beings.

If there are such things as ghosts, according to the Bible, they absolutely cannot be the disembodied spirits of deceased human beings.

The Bible teaches very clearly that there are indeed spirit beings who can connect with and appear in our physical world. The Bible identifies these beings as angels and demons. Angels are spirit beings who are faithful in serving God. Angels are righteous, good, and holy. Demons are fallen angels, angels who rebelled against God. Demons are evil, deceptive, and destructive. According to 2 Corinthians 11:14-15, demons masquerade as “angels of light” and as “servants of righteousness.” Appearing as a “ghost” and impersonating a deceased human being definitely seem to be within the power and abilities that demons possess.

The closest biblical example of a “haunting” is found in Mark 5:1-20. A legion of demons possessed a man and used the man to haunt a graveyard. There were no ghosts involved. It was a case of a normal person being controlled by demons to terrorize the people of that area. Demons only seek to “kill, steal, and destroy” (John 10:10). They will do anything within their power to deceive people, to lead people away from God. This is very likely the explanation of “ghostly” activity today. Whether it is called a ghost, a ghoul, or a poltergeist, if there is genuine evil spiritual activity occurring, it is the work of demons ...

Please take a moment to read the final two paragraphs of this important article, "What Does the Bible Say About Ghosts / Hauntings"
at GotQuestions.org.

Related: Can a Christian be Demon-Possessed?

Linked at BarbaraH's "thinkful" meme The Week in Words at Stray Thoughts.

Photos: MattTaylor (Flickr)

Do you agree or disagree?

Family: The Pumpkin Patch Parable

2011-10-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

A Powerful Picture of Salvation

Halloween definitely has its dark side! Thankfully, author Liz Curtis Higgs is a creative Mom who has brought the light of Christ back to this enormously popular secular holiday. Let's listen to this video narration of Liz's delightful children's picture book, The Pumpkin Patch Parable.

A powerful object lesson, I never tire of hearing the Gospel story read aloud, do you?

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. (John 8:12)

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matt 5:14-16)

Related Reader Favorites

• Thinking "Christianly" About Halloween
• Classic Books for Kids: 100 Books Every Child Should Read

Linked at the Carnival of Homeschooling

Up Next—The Truth About Ghosts & Hauntings

How are you planning to spend Halloween?

10 Books I Should Read ...

2011-10-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

But Haven't (Part 2)

But, my child, let me give you some further advice: Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out. (Ecc 12:12 NLT)

Sadly, like the five titles listed in Part 1, these volumes have been scanned, but not properly digested. I'm looking forward to giving them my focused attention any day now!

6. Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce
by Elisabeth Marquardt

“There's no such thing as a ‘good divorce,’ argues Marquardt, a scholar with the Institute for American Values. Divorce harms children for the rest of their lives, she says; it turns them into "little adults" who anxiously protect their fragile parents, instead of being protected, the way they are in ‘intact’ families. Divorce forces children to guard parental secrets—protecting Mom by not telling Dad, or vice versa. … ‘children of divorce’ may also feel alienated from organized religion, although Marquardt's survey finds them more likely to feel their spirituality strengthened by adversity.”

7. Buried Treasure: Hidden Wisdom from the Hebrew Language
by Rabbi Daniel Lapin

“Did you know the Hebrew letters for ‘man’ and ‘woman’ combine as mathematical symbols to produce the two words ‘God’ and ‘fire’? Support this equation with the letters representing God's name, and you stabilize the passion between the sexes in an enduring spiritual union. Popular author Rabbi Daniel Lapin digs into the ‘holy’ Hebrew language—which not only conveys data but, as linguists know, also contains it. On a fascinating treasure hunt, his book decodes eternal wisdom embedded in the ancient tongue on relationships, human pleasure, life's meaning, and more … A practical, easy read which will fascinate, entertain, and instruct us in the awesomeness of the Lord's language.”

8. The 100 Most Important Events in Christian History by A. Kenneth Curits, J. Stephen Lang, & Randy Petersen

“This compelling book traces two thousand years of church history in one concise volume. Packed with information and told in a readable journalistic style, it is certain to breathe new life into church history. The book is a valuable resource for pastors, teachers ... and all who are interested in learning about the origins of the church doctrines and traditions. From Nero's burning of Rome to the 20th Century charismatic renewal, this book highlights the major people ... and ideas that have shaped the long history of Christianity.”

9. Spiritual Classics edited by Richard Foster & Emilie Griffin

“St. Augustine, Thomas Merton, Fredrick Buechner, Evelyn Underhill, A.W. Tozer, G.K. Chesterton, Thomas More, Martin Luther King, Jr., Amy Carmichael, Simone Weil, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Hildegard of Bingen, John Milton, Dorothy Day, Leo Tolstoy, Gerard Manley Hopkins, and more. From nearly two thousand years of Christian writing comes Spiritual Classics, fifty-two selections complete with a profile of each author, meditations for group and individual use, discussion questions and exercises, and a personal reflection by Richard Foster on each selection.”

10. Encore Provence by Peter Mayle

“After a four-year leave, Mayle is back in the region he described in his bestselling A Year in Provence and Toujours Provence and the British author's fans will be pleased that he decided to return to his adopted homeland, for his writing is as charming and witty as ever. In the first chapter, 'Second Impressions,' Mayle explains that he and his wife quit the convenient, efficient life in America for the 'smell of thyme in the fields' and 'the swirl and jostle of Sunday-morning markets' of Provence… The author then assists future tourists by naming his favorite markets, vineyards, bakeries, chambres d'hotes, even places to go for the best olive oil or honey.”

Photo: Bitzcelt (Flickr)

Up Next—Family Life: The Pumpkin Patch Parable

Do any of these titles appeal to you?

10 Books I Should Read ...

2011-10-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

But Haven't (Part 1)
"And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations." (Rev 2:22)

When we moved from Washington state to sunny Arizona this summer, I donated a truckload of unwanted books. These ten volumes are too valuable to retire from service. I've leafed through them, but they've not been properly and thoroughly digested yet.

1. Courageous by Randy Alcorn

“In Courageous—the novelization by Randy Alcorn of the screenplay Courageous by Alex and Stephen Kendrick—the theme of family leadership is examined from a biblical perspective as applied to a 21st century environment. What happens to a fatherless home? Police officers Alex, Nathan, Shane, and David continually deal with gang crime in Albany, Georgia. They see firsthand the pain and brokenness that result when fathers are absent. By clinging to God’s truth, these four men learn that it takes more than having children to be a father. It takes courage.”

2. Bringing Up Girls by James Dobson

“Tell her she is pretty every chance you get… Hug her. Compliment her admirable traits. Build her confidence by giving her your time and attention. Defend her when she is struggling. And let her know that she has a place in your heart that is reserved only for her. She will never forget it.”

3. Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson

“Boys are different! But with pressure to be ‘gender neutral,’ many try to mold children into a one-size-fits-all model. Dr. Dobson explains why boys are the way they are, how to understand their emotional and physical development, and the best way to motivate them to become godly men.”

4. Sex and the Supremacy of Christ by John Piper & Justin Taylor

“The contributors to this unique volume invite you to both celebrate sex for what God made it to be and fight what sin has turned it into. This book has something for all: men and women, married and single. Contributors include John Piper, C. J. and Carolyn Mahaney, Mark Dever, Al Mohler, and Carolyn McCulley.”

5. The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn

“Some people have given up on purity. Some have never tried. Bestselling author Randy Alcorn shows us why, in this culture of impurity, the stakes are so high—and what we can do to experience the freedom of purity. Impurity will always destroy us; purity always leads to higher pleasures! Choose wisely. Let the insights of this amazing book—written for old and young, married and single—help you gain your footing on the path to truly lasting joy.”

Click here for Part 2.

Linked at Barbara’s "thinkful" meme The Week in Words at Stray Thoughts. Also linked at Amanda's carnival Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda and What's on Your Nightstand at 5 Minutes for Books.

Photo: ElFotopakismo (Flickr)

Up Next—10 Books I Should Read ... But Haven't Yet (Part 2)

Do any of these titles appeal to you?

Bible Study: Chiasm in Noah's Flood

2011-10-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Exploring The X Factor

Caving, also known as spelunking in the United States, is the recreational sport of underground cave exploration. Our journey today is a lot like spelunking. We’re going to descend into one of the literary structures found in Scripture known chiasmus or chiasm. These words derive from the Greek verb meaning “to mark with two lines crossing like an ‘X.’” (X is pronounced “chi.” It’s the 22nd letter of the Greek alphabet.)

Searching for Buried Treasure

Flashlight ready? As readers, we’re accustomed to reading Scripture as if it were written in modern times. Bible publishers such as Zondervan (NIV Kindle) use conventional devices like punctuation, paragraphs, chapters, subheadings, and enumeration to establish the boundaries of a thought unit. However, in ancient culture things like words, sentences, paragraphs, and episodes were not separated but instead, ran together. For the ancient author, a literary device like a chiasmus framed the writing and signaled the beginning and end of each thought unit. Here’s a simple example from Matt 7:6.

A Do not give what is holy to dogs,
_____B and do not throw your pearls before swine,
_____B’ lest they trample them under their feet,
A’ and turn and tear you to pieces.

In this example, the statements A and B are reflected like a reversed mirror image in the statements B’ and A.’ Identifying the chiastic structure helps us to make better sense of this verse. It seems logical that dogs (A) tear to pieces (A’), while the swine (B) trample underfoot (B').

X Marks the Spot

William Ramey, the author of Chiasmus Studies says, “A fundamental principle when dealing with chiasmus is not to think linear, but concentric.” We’re accustomed to outlining a passage that progresses from I, II, III, A, B, C etc. However, we rarely stop to ask if this form of Western outlining actually does justice to a passage, chapter, or book which was written in a very different language and over two millennia ago.

Fundamentally, chiasmus involves two elements: inversion and balance which produce a third climactic centrality (X). Strictly speaking, Matt 7:6 (above) represents an inverted parallelism rather than a chiasmus. The key element that distinguishes the chiastic structure lies in its focus on a pivotal central theme (X). The author uses other statements in the literary unit (A B A’ B’) to flank and develop X through comparison and/or contrast. A classic example of a true chiasm is found in
1 John 3:9.

A whoever is born of God
______B does not sin
____________X for his seed remains in him
_______B’ and he cannot sin
A’ because he has been born of God

“KIYE-az-uhm” in The Flood Story

There are numerous chiastic patterns in Scripture—both in poetry and prose, Hebrew and Greek. One of the most impressive is the chiastic structure found in the Genesis 6-9. Here the author uses repetition to make his central point (X) more clearly. Despite the world devolving into horrendous evil so wicked that His only recourse is destruction, "God remembers Noah." The seed of the woman (Gen 3:15) will not be completely annihilated, an event that would render God’s promise of a Savior completely void.

A Noah (6:10a)
__B Shem, Ham, and Japheth (10b)
___C Ark to be built (14-16)
____D Flood announced (17)
_____E Covenant with Noah (18-20)
______F Food in the ark (21)
_______G Command to enter the ark (7:1-3)
________H 7 days waiting for flood (4-5)
_________I 7 days waiting for flood (7-10)
__________J Entry to ark (11-15)
___________K YHWH shuts Noah in (16)
____________L 40 days flood (17a)
_____________M Waters increase (17b-18)
______________N Mountains covered (19-20)
_______________O 150 days water prevail (21-24)

________________P GOD REMEMBERS NOAH (8:1)

_______________O’ 150 days waters abate (3)
______________N’ Mountain tops visible (4-5)
_____________M’ Waters abate (5)
____________L’ 40 days (end of) (6a)
___________K’ Noah opens window of ark (6b)
__________J’ Raven and dove leave ark (7-9)
_________I’ 7 days waiting for waters to subside (10-11)
________H’ 7 days waiting for waters to subside (12-13)
_______G’ Command to leave ark (15-17 [22])
______F’ Food outside ark (9:1-4)
_____E’ Covenant with all flesh (8-10)
____D’ No flood in the future (11-17)
___C’ Ark (18a)
__B’ Shem, Ham and Japheth (18b)
A’ Noah (19)

I’m indebted to Chiasmus Studies and examiner.com for this information.

More Chiasms For Avid Bible Spelunkers

• The Lord’s Covenant With Abraham (Gen 17:1-25)
• Beloved Son Hated Brother (Gen 37:1-11)
• Paul and the Book of Romans

Related: 1. The Markan Sandwich 2. Bible Poetry
3. How to Find a Chiasmus 4. Noah's Ark Replica

Photos: jonny_t & lasombraenlapared (Flickr) Noah’s Ark at Skirball Cultural Center, Los Angeles CA

Up Next—10 Books I Want to Read, But Haven't Yet

Do you enjoy Bible studies like this?

FAQ: Who Runs the Universe?

2011-10-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

“ ... at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Phil 2:10-11 ESV)

13 Names of Jesus

1. Jesus
2. Iesous
3. Joshua
4. Yeshua
5. Wonderful
6. Counselor
7. Prince of Peace
8. Everlasting Savior
9. Christ
10. Xristos
11. Messiah
12. Mashiach
13. Anointed One

Related

Did you know that October is Pastor Appreciation Month? Let's remember our pastor's wives too: "25 Ways to Care for the Lady Who Loves."

Linky Parties: Word-Filled-Wednesday, Women in the Word Wednesdays, and Thursday 13.

Photos: loswl (Flickr)

Your thoughts or reflections?