Paula Interrupted: Absolutely Nothing but Lies and Purely Fictional Characters

Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2018

2018-01-15T17:41:00.000-05:00

What true sacrifice, bravery, and honor, really looks like. Martin Luther King, Jr. yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever.

The Circus Comes to Crazy Town

2018-01-15T17:25:00.000-05:00

New Years Eve, 2017

2017-12-31T10:36:00.001-05:00

"I never loved another person the way I loved myself."
~Mae West

Watching people is one of the few things that can hold my attention for more than 36 seconds. Sometimes I forget that I am not invisible and they can see me too. Eye-contact is not part of my people watching, totally ruins the show.

Having watched my favorite story, "The Peep Show", for years now, I've begun to notice the reruns. It's the same storyline, over-and-over, the human struggle for self-esteem.

What worries people the most is how they are perceived by others, the benchmark for normal. What their friends think. What their co-workers think. What their neighbors think. This is the stuff that fills the bottom of our luggage.

Do you want to be normal or do you want to be happy? Imagine if you really knew your true essence, the steam that runs your soul. You would have so much time on your hands to think of other things. Is that a bad thing?

Organized religion has no bedside manner and is therefore of no help. All this "if you do this, that will happen...it you don't do this..." etc., scaring the crap out of me. That's just so much negativity and it wears a person down.

So, I'm considering starting my own church and it's called "The Church of Your Self is Steam". All of my sermon's will consist of me looking at you and saying "You are good, you are beautiful, and you are worthy of happiness just the way you are". If you attend long enough, you will start to believe me, and then you won't need to attend at all. Religion should be like good therapy.

Try to remember: Your self is steam, with no boundaries. Steam can not be molded, and that's what makes you who you genuinely are. If you allow other's to dictate your worth, your steam will turn to water. Once your essence turns to water, someones gonna freeze you into shaped ice. That'll make you a frozen dog at someone else's salvation, and nobody wants that.

So there you have it.

The Holiday Bridge

2017-12-21T11:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I run away to the circus. (No real animals were injured in the cropping off of this pony’s lower torso, though it was indeed a sacrifice to the bigger picture.) Sometimes, I run away to the circus for years at a time. I run away because I lose the magic dust that makes me a writer, and the circus is the only place I know where to find it.

It’s time to write. I need to write, mostly about bullshit, and I need you to read. Sorta like the tree falling in the woods, and waiting to become paper to make a noise. Thank you for being the ink on the paper all these years.

Mostly, remember, the holiday season, is but a bridge to the new year, and I’m always glad to see a new year. On that, I wish you all a smooth and beautiful slide to 2018. I will see you on the the other side.

So there you have it.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2016-02-01T00:10:00.001-05:00

Someday, while moving forward
You will look back, reluctantly
At the things you did
Or didn't do
To put it all behind you
As quickly as you could
Congratulating yourself for
The ability to move on
Unfortunately, having never noticed
the toilet paper still stuck and
Dragging from the bottom of
Your 500 dollar shoes

Bad Santa

2015-12-22T18:49:00.000-05:00

Tis the season to be jolly

Bloated out and overflowing

Fat in debt by gosh by golly

It's not your spirit that be glowing

But the sweat regret of your folly

Gone the denial pseudo playa knowing

Wasn't no love from Molly, Holly, or Polly

The Hungry Princess and Her Frog

2015-12-21T23:21:00.001-05:00

Before you fry his little legs
And douse them with some butter
Be a mensch and kiss that frog
To make sure he's not your lover

Mr. Jonz and the Boy in the Closet

2015-04-04T15:03:00.001-04:00

Mr. Jonz was my stupidvisor at my current job for a year or two. He fancied himself, and still does I'm sure, an intellectual who was way smarter than anyone else. Now, I'm not talking about your average arrogance, this guy actually had disdain for anyone whom he viewed as less than him, and that pretty much was everyone. Mr. Jonz was a snob and a hater.

How to describe Mr. Jonz? He was very tall and thin, pale, and had fuzzy blond hair. He looked like a Q-tip. If you closed your eyes when he spoke, you would think Micheal Jackson was in the room. Mr. Jonz and Mr. Jackson also had something else in common, they both lusted for a certain type.

That brings us to why Mr. Jonz became obsessed with the demise of my career in the first place. I am the chapter president of the union that represents all of the technical workers at our company. We had recently negotiated a new program for programmer trainees. Each candidate took a test called the International Programmers Aptitude Test, and the number one scorer became the new trainee.

Mr. Jonz insisted that his favorite boy win, and fully expected me to make that happen, even though this person had finished third. His name was Jay, and he looked like a twelve year old boy, not to mention that he had been hired as a woman named Janice, went back to being a man named James, and finally settled on the name Jay so he could go back and forth. Nobody really held this against him, except for maybe the network administrator who had to change his network credentials with every gender swing.

Mr. Jonz LOVED Jay, and considered himself to be both his mentor and champion. It was VERY important to Mr. Jonz that Jay see how truly important and powerful he was. I also think it was the old "I'll make him better than he was and he'll love me forever" approach to dating. He made it very clear to me that it was up to me to make sure Jay got the job.

Now, what kind of union president would I be if I crumbled to the demands of a middle manager with a bloated sense of self worth? Being the good gurl that I am, we gave the job to the number one scorer on the IPAT, which turned out to be a woman who had been rotting as a dispatcher down in security. She is brilliant, and has gone on to make more money out in the world than any of us, and deserves every penny.

One day, I had to go into Mr. Jonz's office to ask a question. I tend to be a bit on the psychic side, and for no reason absolutely knew that he literally had someone in his closet and that person was Jay. After not receiving the answer to my question, which was the norm with Mr. Jonz, I went back to my office and said to two of my co-workers "I think Mr. Jonz has Jay in his closet" to which they laughed thinking it was a metaphor. "No, seriously, I think Mr. Jonz has Jay in his closet" and I could tell that they thought I was nuts.

Several minutes later, I was summoned into Mr. Jonz's office. He said "You knew Jay was in my closet, didn't you?", to which I replied "pretty much".

From that day forward, Mr. Jonz did every thing he could to ruin me. He was already enraged that Jay wasn't given the programmer trainee position, and now this. I would come in in the morning, and my cubicle would be smaller than the night before, files would mysteriously disappear from my computer, projects were taken away from me, and I was constantly dragged into disciplinary for just looking at him the wrong way.

Being underestimated has always been one of my best advantages. While he harassed me day after day, my best friend Gail, and I, quietly built our own case against him. Gail and I had already agreed that we would never use it unless we were absolutely forced to.

Finally, it was Mr. Jonz's big day. He had me where he wanted me, down in Human Resources, about to be fired. He had me in check because he knew I wasn't smart enough to play chess with him.

So, there's Gail and me on one side of the table, and Mr. Jonz and the HR director on the other. In the middle of the meeting, the HR director was called to the company president's office. While we sat there waiting for him to return, another HR employee came in, sat down, and asked how we were all doing. After Mr. Jonz, who had been sitting there smugly in control because he was so much smarter than the rest of us, said he was doing "excellent" the HR guy looked at me and asked how I was, and I said the following:

"Well, Mr. Jonz has me here because he thinks he's going to fire me, but what he doesn't know, is that I'm going to beat him to the punch."

Mr. Jonz kinda snorted at this because he knew this would never happen. When the HR director returned, we continued with our disciplinary hearing, with Mr. Jonz in the drivers seat. Don't forget, he was smarter than everyone else and didn't need to concern himself with the likes of me. After listening to Mr. Jonz litany of offenses, the meeting was scheduled to continue the next day.

What he failed to realize is that I am a street fighter. I do not need to intimidate, strut, or match you blow for blow. I will even keep your secrets. But if you come after me, and threaten the livelihood that puts the food into my children's mouths and the roof over their heads, I will take you out. When I finally bite, I bite to kill, and you may never see it coming.

The postponed meeting never continued. Mr. Jonz was escorted by security off the premises the very next day. Gail and I had presented our case before meeting with Mr. Jonz. When one of his minions asked what was going on, all he could mumble was that he "was in a state of shock".

Mr. Jonz, should you ever read this, I have but one thing to say to you. CHECKMATE you dumbass.

Ass Ponys, Sound, TEDX, and a "Paula" Shoutout from RWC in Closing

2013-11-23T20:55:00.001-05:00

Ass Ponys

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ass Ponys
Origin	Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Genres	Alternative country, Country rock
Years active	1988–2005
Labels	A&M Checkered Past Okra Safe House Shake It


Members	Chuck Cleaver Randy Cheek Dave Morrison John Erhardt

Past members	Bill Alletzhauser Dan Kleingers

Ass Ponys was an indie rock band based in Cincinnati, Ohio. The band combines rock and country into an off-kilter blend of Americana music. They have gone on national tours with bands such as Pavement, Throwing Muses, and Possum Dixon. Among other periodicals, they have been featured in Rolling Stone Magazine, CMJ, and The Cincinnati Post.
The Ass Ponys went on hiatus in 2005, after releasing the compilation album The Okra Years^[1] - 4 years after their last original material was published in Lohio. More importantly, it appears that core band members are focused on new projects, so new Ass Ponys output seems unlikely any time soon^{[citation needed]}. Vocalist Chuck Cleaver is focusing his attention on a new band, Wussy. Bill Alletzhauser currently fronts the band The Hiders.^[2] Randy Cheek plays with The Libertines US, The Fairmount Girls and The Ready Stance.

Discography

Albums

1990 - Mr. Superlove (Okra Records)
1993 - Grim (Safe House)
1994 - Electric Rock Music (A&M)
1996 - The Known Universe (A&M)
2000 - Some Stupid with a Flare Gun (Checkered Past)
2001 - Lohio (Checkered Past)
2006 - The Okra Years (Shake It)

Fine, I'll Do It Myself

2013-10-18T12:16:00.002-04:00

Boehner crying, not a good look

Allowing our government to be led, yes led, by people in a state of total ego melt down (perhaps it's the merlot) is irresponsible on all of our parts. Why? Because, as my second grade teacher once said to me, we are L-A-Z-Y.

In all my liberal leaning, easy chair sitting, get the popcorn popping, never-ever commited to anything, thinking and living locally years, I've never worked on a political campaign of any kind.

(Unless you count the time Trisha Delisha ran for the Cincinnati Public School Board while still in high school.) I vote but I don't tote.

This year, I will volunteer to work on a political campaign. The winner of this auspicious moment of selflessness will be whoever runs against Kasich in the next gubernatorial race in Ohio.

No, I do not know when that is, which means it's not for a while. I avoid the bigger picture in an effort to maintain what ever amount of ignorance I still have left. Like my lova boy Randy Sweet always says, "bliss is wasted on the ignorant."

So there you have it and you didn't even ask.

Three Days

2013-10-16T14:56:00.001-04:00

When once he demanded
she go away
for three days long
with no pay
tomorrow, hence,
she does return
to face her demons
who wish her ill
Should you see her
up on the hill
wish her grace, and hope,
and most of all, good will

The Soundtrack of Life

2013-10-15T14:19:00.004-04:00

A Week in Rhymn

2013-06-17T22:09:00.002-04:00

Saturday, Saturday, to thee I sing
Oh how I love you, you crazy thing
Elusive and manic, so luscious you be
I want to commit you, and not let you leave

Friday, Friday, half work half cream
A segue from toil to living the dream
Mindful of time, and in love with my pillow
I try not to squander my two day furlough

Thursday, Thursday, so sublime
A three day weekend would be divine
The boys of summer are both out of school
One precious vacation day is left in my pool
But now that I know the truth, and it's all very Zen
I know for sure how my time I should spend
So I'm taking off Friday, before they are men
avoiding the question: where the hell have you been?

Wednesday, Wednesday, now I see the light
my hopes are big, my future bright
The weekend is coming, it's almost in sight
I've conquered the hump, and own Wednesday night

Tuesday, Tuesday, so damn generic
like trying to distinguish a mink from a ferret
No highs, no lows, no four leaf clovers
may as well coma-tize till Tuesday is over

Sunday, Sunday, full of grace
days of heaven, slow of pace
it's all been good, it's all been great
to evening's hues, her magic dissipates
vacating the scene with so much haste
that the winds of Monday chap my face

Martin Luther King Day, 2013

2013-01-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

Today, in the United States, we inaugurated Barrack Hussien Obama for the second time.

"Sonya has a bald spot"

2013-01-16T21:57:00.000-05:00

YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO. The artists name is Sonya Renee, and if you haven't heard of her, allow me to facilitate. She is a writer, poet, actress, and singer. This is one of her performance pieces.

Having said that, all the white people in the audience annoyed me. It's like at professional sports events, where, shall we say, the players don't look anything like the audience. It always reminds me of gladiators in colosseums in some far flung era gone by, or not.

Then, I thought, "but art is different". It's important that people catch a glimpse, no matter how brief, of what it really means to not be a white male in America. It's lately become clear to me how the plight of women crosses over all racial barriers. Anyway, I sincerely admire those white guys in the audience. Bet their wives made them go.

At the same time, it reminded me of my own mother, and how frustrated she used to get with my long hair. Then along came "The Pixie" cut, and that pretty much took care of that.

I can't impress on you enough what a magnificent performance this is. Thanks to Snap Judgement who always has the best stuff.

So there you have it.

RWC and Wildfire

2012-11-17T15:42:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time a group of musicians while enroute to Chicago sparked up a big old hog leg of what passed for weed back then. Wildfire came on the radio. Van full of smoke and grown men signing wildfire at the top of their lungs we didn't see the highway patrolman who apparently had been chasing a few miles.pulling over we calmly rolled down the windows, smoke billowing out and as the police approached to ask for I.D. His first words were sir can you please turn that shit down. We had forgotten to turn down wildfire. It got worse quickly.

Dear Paula, ...A message from the Universe

2012-11-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

The Top 10 things about time and space, Paula, that most people seem to forget...

10. You chose to be here and you knew what you were doing.

9. There are no "tests" and you're not being judged.

8. Everyone's doing their best, with what they know.

7. You already have whatever you're looking for.

6. You are of the Divine, pure God, and so is everyone else.

5. Religion needs spirituality; spirituality does not need religion.

4. You're naturally inclined to succeed - at everything you do.

3. You happen to life, life does not happen to you.

2. Order, healing, and love belie every moment of chaos, pain, and fear.

1. Following your heart is the best way to help others.

The truth shall set you free,
The Universe

Elections Reflections

2012-11-04T17:27:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, Mitt Romney and Kid Rock (what the fuck is up with that?) rallying 20 minutes north up I-75, in West Chester, Ohio.

At the same time, the same day, 20 minutes south down I-75, Barack Obama and Stevie Wonder, (thereby winning the cooler than contest) are wooing voters in downtown Cincinnati.

Today, I hear tell of Laurence Fishburne sightings down at election headquarters getting out the vote. It's as if Horton has heard the Who's yelling from Ohio.

It's two days before the presidential elections and I am reporting to you from beautiful Cincinnati, Ohio, in what turns out to be "ground zero" in this years political race. Two of our counties, Hamilton and Butler, have been identified as the swing areas that could decide who wins the election of 2012.

As well it should be.

Hamilton County and Butler County are separated by just 10 miles down the I-75 corridor. Cincinnati is located in Hamilton County, but the northern suburbs are located in Butler County, known as Mason/West Chester, Ohio. It is absolutely striking how two places, so close to each other in miles, could be so different in political mind sets.

When the 1960's finally rolled around to Southern Ohio, sometime late in the 1970's, Cincinnati residents fled north from the city as it became more progressive (a big word for any part of Ohio), along with the urban blight that accompanied the changing economy of that decade.

Cincinnati has always been a contrast of black and white, always polarized, and frankly, somewhat confused by the recent influx of other ethnicities. Our lines had always been very clear, up until the last few decades or so.

You have to understand that Cincinnati, while the gateway to the south, is also, usually, a decade behind the rest of the world. Just ask Mark Twain. Up until the last 20 years, the regions idea of ethnic food was 16,000 Chinese restaurants. Sushi didn't arrive until the mid-eighties.

If Cincinnati is ten years behind, that would make its northern sibling, Mason/West Chester, at least 20 years behind. It remains solidly republican, conservative, and homogenous, which is my nice way of saying very, very white.

These are the children of the generation that jumped up the social latter during the great manufacturing years, when Ohio ruled the world in steel production and automotive superiority. This is where the Speaker of the House, John Boehner, a crazy mix of conservative rebellion and alcoholic melt down, comes to us from.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama chose to save the auto industry, thus saving the bread and butter of thousands and thousands of Ohio workers. At the same time, conservative voters tend to have short memories, except when thinking fondly of the 1950's, and will forever yearn to bring the sensibilities and social structures of those day back. Down south, in the Queen City, we seem to have acknowledged, finally, that times move on, and the only constant in life is change.

Suddenly, we are like the ugly girl that came back from summer vacation transformed and finds herself to be the belle of the ball. Never have I been courted so intimately for my vote. Ohio is the perfect breeding ground for indecision, and that makes us hot.

For me, November 6th, election day in the United States, can't get here quick enough. I'll check back in with you later.

My Favorite Uncle Bill

2012-10-04T22:56:00.000-04:00

By my favorite Aunt Binnie:
Everybody loved William. He was a man of great loving kindness, integrity, and generosity of heart. His life was dedicated to being a loving support for all those he encountered, not only in his family but every human being. He was the most successful man any of us ever knew. A light has gone out for us all.

William K. Williams was born in Childress, Texas on July 30, 1925, and came to live with his mother’s family in Hypoluxo, Florida, in 1930. He worked charter boats out of the Boynton inlet, and at seventeen was in Germany, liberating prisoners from concentration camps, mines and chicken coops. His feet were frozen in the snow, which affected the rest of his life. He came back determined to contribute to a world where such things could never happen again.

He earned a Bachelor’s degree from Drew Theological Seminary, and a Master’s from the University of Miami, and became a Methodist minister. He was the first head of the Florida Council on Human Relations under Leroy Collins, who called him in as a mediator when there were lynchings and cross-burnings in Florida towns, and he circuit-rode the state building an organization that would bring better understanding between the races.

He later became Asst. Director of the Illinois Council on Human Relations, headquartered in Chicago and being sent in to exploding communities from Chicago to Cairo, training State Police in humane riot control, mediating in race relations and enforcing human rights laws. The Governor of Illinois sent him to investigate complaints by students against the University of Illinois, and the President of the University of Illinois asked him to come on his staff to implement the suggestions he made. Through the ‘60s he was the University’s expert on race relations and student activism, responsible for the Urbana campus, the Chicago Circle, and the Medical School campus.

When he and his wife decided to move back to Florida to build a boat and he tried to resign, Black student protestors submitted a demand to the University that “William K. Williams be retained in a high executive capacity to deal primarily with Black people.” The faculty senate also voted to ask him to stay. Mr. and Mrs. Williams decided to stay and build the boat there on a Midwest farm, and the University created the office of Ombudsman for him.

Five years later, with a navigable hull completed and quieter campuses, Mr. and Mrs. Williams and their children went down the Illinois and Mississippi Rivers to the Gulf, and eventually built a coastal trading business around the west coast of Florida and the Bahama out islands, taking goods to families with a lot of children and no money, trading for handmade and natural goods that the Williams sold at docks around the Florida coast, including Bradenton. They were shipwrecked and wiped out in 1984, and after a year back in the Keys to start over they came and settled in Bradenton.

Middle Managers, The Real Proletariots

2012-06-02T14:09:00.000-04:00

When I was thirteen, Tam Tam and I got our first official jobs at the Baskin and Robbins in our neighborhood. It wasn't my first job, that would be the babysitting and snow shoveling I had been doing since I was nine. Looking back on it, who the hell hires a nine year old to babysit anyway? It must have been a very innocent time, or, more likely, nine year olds were the only people willing to work for fifty cents an hour.

Thirty years later, with no break in employment, just changes in employers, I consider myself an authority on bosses and suck ups. Some of my best stories involve them. If anyone ever asks you to become a middle manager, you should consider it an insult. If you don't, well, then you're perfect for the job.

The middle manager is a special breed, and the worst of all bosses. They are both boss and suck up, the latter being a prerequisite for the former. Companies love to take fairly dim witted personalities and make them into middle managers because of their never ending ability to say "yes" to everything. Middle managers have no idea that this is what's happening, but don't try to tell them because they'll make you their new project.

The average middle manager never manages work, only people. They consider breaking spirits and working out their baggage from childhood as part of the job. If they could manage work, they wouldn't be middle, they would be top, which most middle managers never become. When a suck up accidentally makes it to the upper echelon of management, it is generally a disaster. I'm pretty sure this is why most managers are "at will" employee's. Since most of them never make it to the top, they are the most bitter of bosses.....and dammit, you're all gonna pay!

As soon as a new middle manager says "we need to be good soldiers" you know it can only go downhill from there. This translates into "jump off this roof for me because I told you to", never mind the fact that the fall will kill you. They fixate on one employee after the other because it's the only way they can look productive because they really don't know how to do anything else. Middle managers are the true proletariats in our society. Just tell them that they're smarter than everyone else and give them an office where they can play some nice music and they're good to go.

Some suck ups never become middle managers. These are the ones that enable middle managers to feel good about how important they are, and are rewarded with salaries that far outreach their usefulness. The suck ups ruin others by gossip and innuendo, thereby providing the middle manager with a steady stream of scape goats. This allows the middle manager an ally in their stupidity. Non manager suck ups tend to be just smart enough to be dangerous to anyone the works closely with them.

Don't get me wrong, I have met brilliant managers, and I can always tell who they are because they don't fit into this description. But these are few and far between and never stick around long. Companies generally recognize these individuals and promote them out of middle management quickly. If you have been a middle manager for three years or more, it's probably all you'll ever be. The Peter Principle, which says that some people get promoted based on their inertia as opposed to their usefulness, was created in regard to middle managers.

I am creating an entire new label category for bosses and suck ups, because I've known so many of them. Most of them don't like me anymore than I like them, and when they delude themselves into believing that they're the ones that will finally "tame the shrew", it always results in great stories and never ending hilarity.

Feel free to leave comments about your favorite idiot bosses and suck ups, of which I'm sure you've known many. If nothing else, you'll know you're not alone.

Fascinating Rhythm

2012-01-15T15:33:00.000-05:00

fascinating rhythm
of the fickle missy lady
with all the wiles
and random piles
of an adolescent's room decor
pink and overstuffed
with self important puffery
and enough effulgence
to give indulgence
a Baroquish splendor plume
while she manufactures
attractions yet anew
with words she presses
along with dresses
on her giant loom
what does it spell
who does it mean
and in between you smell
the waft of cloudy notion
and the fog of certain doom
~Gary McGurk

The Church of Your Self is Steam

2012-01-09T19:04:00.000-05:00

"I never loved another person the way I loved myself."
~Mae West

Having watched my favorite story, "The Peep Show", for years now, I've begun to notice the reruns. It's the same storyline, over-and-over, the human struggle for self-esteem.

So there you have it.

Girls Without Fathers

2011-11-13T15:47:00.001-05:00

My father was a brilliant man. He loved science, the law, history, chess, and jazz. His untimely death, at the tender age of 36, left my sister's and our mother utterly and totally on our own. My mother, now well in to her seventies, never remarried.

So convinced our family is, that had he lived, he would surely have changed the world. To this day, we still hold his death on par with that of JFK and MLK. To this day, I still believe it. It's how his death touched me personally that I had never really thought about.

The last time I ever saw my father was during my ninth birthday party. He had been suffering from lung cancer for the previous several years, and on this evening, he couldn't breath. The ambulance was called, and off he went, and that was that, and the party went strangely on. It was a slumber party, and Tam Tam was there, and the only other thing I remember from that night is the hairbrush, comb, mirror, and little string of pearls she gave me for my birthday.

The last time my father ever saw me was from a fifth floor hospital window, as my sisters and I stood in the parking lot behind the building. I remember looking up, waving as if I could see him, pretending I could see him, when really I couldn't. Later, I had wondered what the point had been, since I couldn't see my father. Then I realized the point wasn't so we could see him, it was so he could see us, his three little girls, for the last time.

When he died several weeks later, I became a girl without a father. The implications of this didn't really hit me until the last several years, almost 30 years after the event. At some point, I just assumed that everyone lost their father somehow, and that was the way it was.

When I was getting divorced, my sister-in-law, who was also getting divorced at the time, handed me a rather large wad of cash. My utilities had all been turned off when my ex left, since I naively allowed him to put everything in his name. I was being starved out waiting for an agreement that would let me refinance the house, putting groceries and gas on my credit card, along with thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. Still, I have a ton of vanity and pride, and refused the money.

Then she said "Paula, you need to take this money. You don't realize the difference it makes to have your father behind you, and the impact it has on the outcome, because you don't have one. If you did, like I do, he would never allow you to be treated this way. So take this money and don't worry about paying it back."

I've been thinking about it ever since, and that she was totally right. So, maybe it's time to write about girls without fathers, and allow myself to understand what it truly meant to me. So there you have it.

Senate Bill 5 in Ohio, Issue 2 Seals the Deal

2011-11-07T21:02:00.000-05:00

If Senate Bill 5, in Ohio, is not voted down, it becomes the law.

Senate Bill 5, which strips organized labor in Ohio of most of their collective bargaining rights, is up for referendum tomorrow, Tuesday, November 8. It's important that you know what this is really about. Bargaining is not just about wages and benefits.

Nurses and teachers, for example, can negotiate patient and student numbers. Do you want your child in a class with 50 other students and only one teacher? Do you want to be in a hospital ward with 25 beds and only one nurse? Hey, it could happen, Ohio Governor Kasich is all about cost and control.

Senate Bill 5 was originally pushed through and made into law without a vote of the people. A huge part of the middle class in Ohio consists of workers who belong to unions.

Now, here's what I want to say to you about this. If you look back in history, when fascism came-a-knocking, it's always the labor unions the far right goes for first. The reason why?

Labor Unions are the only organized body out side of government big enough to support a dissenting view. If you have no vehicle to disagree with your government, you can not have democracy. Once you silence the labor unions, you silence all the millions of people that have no other connection in life for representation but that union.

So, if you live in Ohio, you really need to read the below article, and make sure you vote in November. You have no idea how much work went into just getting it on the ballot so you could exercise your constitutional rights.

The below article, released last summer, by the Associated Press, clearly explains the intent of Senate Bill 5.

OH Voters Will Decide Fate Of Union Law

July 22, 2011

By Ann Sanner, Associated Press

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Ohio voters will get to decide in November whether to repeal the state's new collective bargaining law, which would let public worker unions negotiate wages but not health care, sick time or pension benefits.

The state's elections chief said Thursday that opponents had gathered enough valid signatures to put the question before voters. The measure is now suspended from taking effect until voters have their say.

The law signed by GOP Gov. John Kasich in late March affects more than 350,000 public workers, including police officers, firefighters, teachers and state employees. Aside from restricting bargaining, it bans strikes and gets rid of automatic pay increases, replacing them with merit raises or performance pay.

The group We Are Ohio delivered more than 1.3 million signatures to Secretary of State Jon Husted, though the opponents needed roughly 231,000 valid signatures to get the question on the ballot. He said more than 915,000 of the signatures were valid.

The opponents' successful campaign proves that the legislation was "a bad bill that was passed by extreme politicians who are out of touch with hardworking Ohioans," said Melissa Fazekas, a spokeswoman for We Are Ohio.

The measure was approved by the Republican-controlled state Legislature in March amid shouts and jeers from protesters in each chamber. But the overall response by protesters in the Rust Belt state, despite its long union tradition among steel and autoworkers, paled in comparison to Wisconsin, where protests topped more than 70,000 people. Ohio's largest Statehouse demonstrations on the measure drew about 8,500 people.

That difference has been attributed to Madison's labor legacy and the proximity of the populous University of Wisconsin campus to the state capital.

The fallout from each state's bitter fights over collective bargaining restrictions have also differed.

Unlike in Wisconsin, Ohio voters cannot recall state lawmakers, so opponents are pushing for repeal through a referendum.

In Wisconsin, nine state senators — six Republicans and three Democrats — face recall elections. GOP Gov. Scott Walker's collective bargaining law eventually survived a court challenge and took effect.

A Quinnipiac University poll released this week found that 56 percent of Ohio voters say the new collective bargaining law should be repealed, compared with 32 percent who say it should be kept.

The We Are Ohio campaign says 10,000 volunteers and some paid workers circulated petitions to get the referendum before voters. The coalition of labor groups and others contends the law is an unfair attack on workers.

Kasich, a first-term governor, and his GOP colleagues argue the legislation will help city officials, school superintendents and others control their costs at a time when they, too, are feeling budget woes.

Kasich has said he plans to play a visible role in defending the law. So far, he has directed his supporters to a website for Building a Better Ohio, a group that wants to keep the new law in place.

Jason Mauk, a spokesman for Building a Better Ohio, said Thursday that certification of the signatures puts the focus back on the law's merits.

"Ohio voters now have a choice to make," Mauk said in a statement. "We can keep the unfair, unsustainable policies that are bankrupting our communities, or we can change direction and give them the tools they need to create jobs and get spending under control."

The referendum's clearance for the ballot came as the head of the AFL-CIO met in Columbus with community organizations, religious groups and representatives from the Ohio Conference of the NAACP.

AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka would not say how much money the nation's largest labor federation planned to spend in the ballot effort, only that the organization planned to devote resources and people to help repeal the law.

"This is a battle of over the conscious and the moral character and the direction of the country," Trumka told reporters. "And we think that the people in Ohio and the people in America think that people like Gov. Kasich is going in the wrong direction — that he overreached, that he used a tough budget time to try to scapegoat public employees and try to destroy a ladder into the middle class."

Kasich spokesman Rob Nichols said the law was about restoring fairness and balance between the private and public sector employees.

"Mr. Trumpka does have to live in one of Ohio's cities or towns that are hanging on by their fingers, struggling with high costs," Nichols said.

The state's labor groups have turned to their members to help pay for the repeal campaign.

Ohio's largest teachers union in May agreed to a one-time, $54 dues increase. The move by the members of the Ohio Education Association was expected to yield an additional $5.5 million.

The Fraternal Order of Police also anticipated raising $1 million from their roughly 200 local lodges around the state. And the Ohio Association of Professional Firefighters asked its 9,600 members to voluntarily kick in $100 for the repeal effort.

Come As You Are

2011-10-26T21:00:00.000-04:00

For a short time, when I was 3 years old, my family lived in Kansas City. I think it was Missouri, but it may have been Kansas. It's all a vague impression

Anyway, something happened there that continues to haunt me my entire life. Haunt is the perfect word, because this is, if indirectly, a Halloween story. No, this is not a ghost story, it's a genesis of my neurosis story.

To this day, I can't dress up for Halloween.

Like, the anxiety of having to wear a costume is enough to make me turn off all the lights in my house and pretend I'm not home. It's so bad, I've been known to not show up to parties where such things are required.

So, here's what happened in Kansas City, Missouransas. There was a costume party at our synagogue, in addition to the regular Friday night service. It wasn't a Halloween party, it was a Purim party.

Now, with out getting into too much detail, Purim is a Jewish holiday...ugh, hang on, let me google this so I get it right and don't spread ignorance throughout the Internet....

...OK, I'm back, and I quote, copy and paste: "Purim is one of the most joyous and fun holidays on the Jewish calendar. It commemorates a time when the Jewish people living in Persia were saved from extermination."

This makes me giggle because Judaism has so many holidays connected to extermination. It's all hugely depressing. I know, I'm not right, but let's remember, it's not racist till you say it.

To celebrate Purim, you're supposed to go to the party dressed as your favorite character in the bible. My parents, as far as I can remember, dressed my two sisters, and I, all as Queen Esther, who was a major player in the whole saving of the people. I can still see our little shiny satin dresses, each emblazoned on the front with a gigantic sequin Hebrew peace sign.

We were running late, and it was total chaos. We had made crowns out of construction paper, and on the way to the synagogue, somebodies crown blew right out of the car window. My father had to pull over, chase the blowing crown in traffic, to return it safely to its owner, who by now was in a full blown tantrum. My sister, that is, not my father.

After much ado, we finally made it, late as always. Nothing like making an entrance in full Queen Esther regalia times three. What happened next, is seared in my memory.

We were late and all eye's turned to us as we walked in the door. And then, we realized it. It was the wrong night. We were the only people in costumes.

To this day I can remember my horror, and to this day, the same mortification brain chemicals kick in at the mere thought of dressing up. This year, I might wear my pajama's to work, but that's really more of a statement than a costume.

So there you have it.