LIVE LIFE WELL

Resolutions vs. Goals

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:42:28 PST

So, we are now on day 3 of 2012 and I am sure many of us have made declarations or resolutions of what we will (or will not) do in 2012. Since it is so early in the year and we are all moving full speed ahead with our plans I want to challenge you to think about the difference between a resolution and a goal.
A RESOLUTION is firm decision to do or not to do something. A GOAL is the end toward which effort is directed. A RESOLUTION is often vague and comes with no real plan to achieve the thing we've identified. GOALS are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.
So, are you making resolutions or setting goals?

Peace & Love

LaWanda

noreply@blogger.com (lrc) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 08:43:08 PST

Oh 2011. What a year. In reflecting on the year I can't help but think about how this time last year THE black woman all over the news was Oprah Winfrey.   Remember? The OWN Network was making it's debut on January 1st with great fanfare and hype. I wondered for her then what must it be like to start your year off like that? How do you live up to it, exceed it, manage it, hell - survive it?

While I didn't launch a network last year - it was a pretty remarkable year with incredible gifts of love, grace, challenges and new starts.

CWUW directs us to Live Life Well. I've said this before, but the mission is so empowering and the words so non-judgmental. Wellness is a pretty defined concept, but how we get there - the implementation is so personal and individual.

Wellness for me this year meant finally getting my grill together. Getting my butt to the dentist and replacing those old silver fillings from childhood with nice modern new chicklet-ish white sealants. I also had to deal with a broken tooth and I had long ignored and finished up some bridge work. I was broke, but smiley. My dentist is a sista who retired from the Air Force. If you gotta give a bunch of money to a dentist, it's nice to know that it's someone who served our country.

In celebration of my new smile, I also decided not to take off more than I can chew. PTO, volunteering, social commitments, family commitments, work. I was serious.   It was hard, too.   Since my kid has started school - I'd been all up in the PTO. Grant writing, cookie selling, committee working, whatever. Not this year. I wrote a check at the beginning of the year, voted on stuff that I could online and sent cookies for the Teacher holiday recognition. Couldn't do it and amazingly enough didn't feel a lot of guilt about it.

Living well at work this year meant doing what I can well and removing myself from toxic people and situations. That is hard. I work in Washington, DC which has so many type A personalities. Work here is a definer, it's the first thing people ask when you meet them. Where you work, what you do is important here. It's important to me, but on a different level. So this year I was on an assignment that brings a lot of prestige in my office. But it also brings a lot of work. High level, deadline intensive work. The team is led by a brilliant young sista who while she knows she is brilliant doesn't know much of anything else. She is very disrespectful, has no bedside manner and is not too interested in learning from those around her. In any event, after months of serving on this committee, delivering product and holding not just my own but the owns of other committee members - at the expense of my other work, I made the decision to bounce. Get off the committee at a stopping point, thank folk for the experience but bounce. Now with type A's you don't quit. I was well aware of the price that I was to pay in the eyes of some by leaving. But it was a risk that I was willing to take. My career outlook is a little different than that of a 20-something hot shot. I'm looking to do my job well, serve the public, take care of my family and save for retirement. When that is your focus, you can make different decisions than folks who are looking to have their portraits hung in the lobby.

So, I left the committee. Used the golden Taurean voice to articulate all the reasons why the committee wasn't a good fit for ME and bounced. Folk came to me whispering about my courage and my strength. Yeah, whatever. I'm happy and sane.   If my leaving that committee costs me a prime, cush assignment in the future so be it.   I'm well at my job now. No longer feeling sick and was damn proud of myself for recognizing my limitation and readjusting the situation to accommodate myself.

Same with family stuff. Family is in Indiana, New Jersey, Georgia - there is not the time, money nor energy to see everyone all the time. Now where I was straight realistic about finances and the limitations on time - that didn't prevent me from extending invites to family. It was a pleasant surprise when they took me up on invitations. This year we were blessed to have Rhonda and Rashida top off our year with a January visit, my husband's mom came for Spring Break, friends from Holland came after her, my mom and step dad came after them on Mother's Day weekend, my husband's mom and my mom both came within a couple of weeks of each other this summer and my cousin and his wife came after Thanksgiving. Definitely going to do a repeat on that for 2012. When folk say, "When are you coming home?", I'll say, "Why don't you come visit us? We already home...living life well!".

Happy 2012.

Year End Wrap Up

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 11:11:21 PST

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted. If my memory serves me correctly I had fallen off the Insanity train the last time I posted. Insanity is a beast and I only lasted 21 days.

Well, since then I have not stopped working out, I simply found other ways to stay active such as I completing the Susan G. Komen 3 day for the Cure; this event required me to walk 60 miles over 3 days. I have also found love in running…yep, I said it…running! During my training for the 3 Day, I was so bored with walking all of those training miles that I simply wanted to finish so I started running and I really enjoy it. If you would have told me this time last year at the tender young age of 40 (you know it’s the new 30) that I would just take off running, I would have laughed at you, but here I am…a runner.

Anyway, I run with a group called Black Girls Run! here in Atlanta. The group has chapters in almost every state. The support and encouragement that I have received is amazing. I was a little reluctant to join at first because I thought I needed to be a runner, but the group encourages walkers and runners of all abilitites and fitness levels. As a result, I have run 2- 5k races (3.1 miles) and one 10k (6.2 miles) race. I did not place but I wasn’t trying to, my goal was to finish. I did earn my first medal and you would have thought it was Olympic Gold…lol

I have also signed up to participate on 2 different marathon relay teams in 2012. On these teams I will be the anchor leg; not because I’m fast but because no one else wanted to be last or run the longer miles…lol but I figured this is a new challenge for me to conquer. I will also be participating in at least 4 half marathons; 2 in Georgia, 1 in Kentucky, and 1 in South Carolina. Why? Just because I like the medals and I really do like running. Now let me say this, I WILL NOT…let me repeat WILL NOT run the entire 13.1 miles because I have learned to use run walk intervals. This method of running allows your body to recover during your run and improve your overall performance. So I figure if I can walk some then I will be fine.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I hope this post will serve as inspiration for you to get moving in 2012. I’m not saying that you need to do any extreme workouts or run, but I know if you have 2 healthy legs you can get out and walk with CWUW or on your own. Personally, I prefer to exercise/run with others because it keeps me accountable.

Finally, I have decided not to make Resolutions for 2012 instead I have decided to create a vision board. This vision board will include goals I want to accomplish in 2012. For example I will have a picture of each medal I want to earn and I will have the number “185” on it to represent what I would like to weigh next year. I will also include pictures of things that inspire me. Maybe you should think about it; it will serve as a daily reminder of what you want to accomplish.

Before & Now photos…I'm not done yet, that is why I don't use "Before & After."

Here are some sites that are great for walkers and runners of all abilities.

Hal Higdon offers free training plans if you are interested in walking or running any race www.halhigdon.com

Jeff Galloway offers free training plans too but he uses interval training. I use both Jeff and Hal

www.jeffgalloway.com

Vision board

http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-make-a-vision-board

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Make-a-Vision-Board-Find-Your-Life-Ambition-Martha-Beck

Well, have a WONDERFULLY BLESSED New Year! I will drop in from time to time and share what’s going on with me and of course pictures of my medals…lol

Peace & Love

Butterfly

Volunteer!

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 04:53:48 PST

Be a part of a great organization!

Do you have time to spare? Are you interested in working on multiple health projects?

Join us!

http://www.cwuwonline.org

Love yourself as is.

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:44:44 PDT

In a world that tells us we are imperfect, its a battle to love ourselves "as is". Someone is telling us we're not thin enough, not smart enough, not ambitious enough, etc. etc. So we get on that treadmill and start trying to be....something. What I've learned the hard way is to love myself "As is". Its a journey.

As the leader of a wellness org, one would think that I've aced living healthy everyday. Nope. I'm in the fight with you. I'm learning tools for myself as I provide opportunities for others to learn the same. I'm sympathetic to anyone trying to overcome and health focused hurdle. Weight loss isn't the only battle some face. Some is staying mentally balanced. Family concerns maybe someone's concern. We all have those things that seem to overwhelm us. Let's first just love ourselves. Be honest about the flaws and be humble in the greatness and love it all. That's where we can begin this journey.

I'm a mentally strong person. I know that's not my battle. I'm here for those who can't take the hard hits in life. I'm overcoming years of bulimia and loving the physical skin I'm in. I'm taking 12 months to deal with everything that has to do with getting back in shape and being physically well. Some may need to dedicate a year of addressing depression or maybe finally dealing with some trauma of the past. Let's do it together. Let's be honest. Let's celebrate our today and our tomorrow. Our greatness is now.

I'm so great....as is. It can only get better.

Rhonda

Food Day - October 24th

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 07:27:45 PDT

Food Day will be October 24—in 2011 and in years to come. Food Day seeks to bring together Americans from all walks of life—parents, teachers, and students; health professionals, community organizers, and local officials; chefs, school lunch providers, and eaters of all stripes—to push for healthy, affordable food produced in a sustainable, humane way. We will work with people around the country to create thousands of events in homes, schools, churches, farmers markets, city halls, and state capitals.

For more info and resources, visit the Food Day website!

“Join the Conversation” - Breast Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:41:06 PDT

“Join the Conversation,” this Saturday the 22^nd from 11 a.m-12:00 p.m. and next Tuesday, the 25^th from 5 p.m.-6 p.m. at the IU Simon Cancer Center, St. Francis Hospital, and the Cancer Support Community.

This forum will be a confidential discussion on barriers, fears and concerns African American women face as they enter the Continuum of Care. This will be a moderated event, and not an educational forum. Please forward this invite to women who may be interested in participating. We would appreciate women RSVP’ing so we can ensure enough gifts and snacks will be available. Questions and RSVP’s can be sent to at wendy_noe@komenindy.org.

Take Care of You

noreply@blogger.com (Stymie) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 11:05:03 PDT

My name is Ivy. I have sleep apnea, depression, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hypothyroidism, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia and as of this writing, I am dealing with abdominal pain and awaiting results of a CAT scan. Aside from my depression, every single one of my illnesses is of my own doing and I take full responsibility for it.

Several years ago, a friend expressed concern about my health. She gave me books to read, herbs to deal with illness and the stress of life, and many lectures on taking care of myself. One time, she even pulled the car over and screamed at me for not listening to her about it. Still, I continued on a path of self-destruction.

Three years later, I would be tipping the scales at over 300 pounds, wondering why I felt so tired all the time and why I was so thirsty. A week after my 40^th birthday, I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Fast forward two years after that, and I am faced with two more autoimmune diseases and possible liver problems.

A few weeks ago, I found myself getting upset because someone was not taking my health advice. Who would want to end up with diabetes and thyroid problems? I then thought back to the advice I did not take years ago and I let my anger go. Will I stop giving people advice on their health issues? No, but I will give the advice freely and let it go.

One of the other things I found myself doing was blaming doctors and the healthcare system for my woes: it was too expensive, I didn’t like the doctor, or any other of a myriad of excuses. I cannot blame the doctors because I did not fight or follow-up on my own health issues. I probably would not be having gastro issues now if I had listened to my doctor a year ago. What is more important than your health?

In my own experience, I have found my healthcare to be lacking, to say the least. I have been misdiagnosed or undiagnosed several times. I have been frustrated to the point that I stopped going to doctors altogether. That was a very stupid thing to do. I should have kept going to other doctors to get second or even third opinions. This is my first point of advice to you.

Society sets us up to fail. The government does not care about you or your health. We are constantly bombarded with images of things that are not good for us. Remember that food companies had to be forced to place nutrition information on labels along with cigarette and the liquor companies. It takes will power to do the right thing for yourself.

You know when something is wrong with you. Act on your intuition and it may turn out to be something minor or you may get a jump on an illness that could have been life-threatening. Sometimes, you will have to make a lot of noise to get someone to listen to you. Many of my doctors behave as they just don’t care but you can be lucky enough to find one who truly does.

You have to arm yourself with knowledge. I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) in 2004. I did not know that it could be a precursor to diabetes. Then later on when I got diabetes, I did not know that it could be a precursor to other autoimmune diseases. I find that WebMD and the Mayo Clinic websites are of great use. There is too much information on the internet for us “not to know better”.

When you see your doctor, make sure to ask questions. What are the side effects of this medication? Will it interact with my other medications? When will I get my test results back? I saved myself a lot of grief and possible complications when I went in for my CAT scan. I found out by asking about a question on the questionnaire they gave me that I could not take my diabetes meds for two days.

I could have been mad that my doctor had not informed me but instead, I took responsibility for myself and I suggest you do the same. It is great if you have support at home but here will be times you will have no one to turn to. Turn to yourself. Those of us who are nurturers by nature can also be self-saboteurs because we self-sacrifice. I am unapologetic when I say I had to start sacrificing for myself.

I learned the power of the word “no”. I started turning off my phone at bedtime. I stopped playing errand girl and chauffeur to people. Some people will not understand when you do this because you have made them dependent on you and you have become an enabler in your self-sacrifing but your health and peace of mind will comfort you when they won’t.

When we take care of ourselves, we can be there to take care of others who need us. I know it’s a cliché but in the case of an airplane going down, the parent is told to put on their mask first and then the child’s. I know it’s second nature to help someone by why do we not give ourselves the same courtesy? Why not take care of ourselves so that we can be around longer to put that child’s mask on?

We all are grownups. We THINK that means we get to do whatever we want and of course we can, within reason. But, it is up to us to take care of us. We can have loved ones who surround us, who tell us to do the right thing, but ultimately, it is up to us to act on it. I hope that someone reading this may take my advice, but if not, I still give it to you. Freely and with love.

Walking at Watkins! Saturday, July 1st

noreply@blogger.com (Cleva) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 08:52:50 PDT

We're moving our Saturday Canal walks to Watkins Park at 2360 N. Martin Luther King, Jr. St.

The focus is still the same.....physical activity and support!

Everyone is welcome! Meet at the Watkins Community Center at 8am!!

Make Me Over For the Cause

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 14:51:12 PDT

If you live in Marion County, Indiana, please call 317-221-TEST

on National HIV Testing Day to find your nearest testing site location.

Visit http://www.napwa.org for National HIV Testing Day events and activities.

Also visit, http://www.aids.gov for more resources.

Community Workday: We need your help!

noreply@blogger.com (Cleva) — Thu, 19 May 2011 03:25:37 PDT

On Tuesday, May 24th starting at 6:30pm, we will start our workday at "Miss Mary's Garden", a CWUW project with Keep Indianapolis Beautiful and we need YOU.

We need 15 volunteers, ages 13 and up, to help us build beds and prep the lot for the garden. NO experience needed. We just need good spirits and willing bodies.

If you're interested, please just send us an email for more information. info@cwuwonline.org

This garden is for the community by the community. Help us grow!!!

Let it go….

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Tue, 17 May 2011 05:48:55 PDT

This isn't about weight loss but about losing weight, losing the baggage. Sometimes in prayer and meditation, the message is the same and a message I'm still working on…..let it go. Many times, we are wearing, like a coat, everything that is going on inside of us. Let it go. Forgiveness brings us healing. We truly need to look within ourselves and desire something different, something new. Let it go. Renew your mind daily. Start fresh with a new way of looking at your life and your approach to stress and negative situations.

My simple message is….let it go.

Rhonda L. Bayless

Mother, sister, daughter, friend, human…..and Executive Director

http://www.cwuwonline.org

The Results Are In!

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Mon, 16 May 2011 19:00:21 PDT

May 16, 2011

First I have to correct a horrible mistake, Dorian & T’Lai corrected my tracking…today is Day 15 not 14. I’m sorry y’all, dang!

Dorian, T’Lai and I all improved on our fit test today; we really pushed ourselves. Because I am being extremely lazy (and a bit selfish) I am only publishing my results. Hey, at least I gave them a mention…lol.

I may have mentioned before that the fit test is performed on Days 1, 15, 36, 50, and 63; the goal is to complete as many reps in one minute and of course notice some improvement each time you perform the fit test. The moves below are listed in the order they were performed. Oh, you have between 1-2 minutes between each move to "recover."

I'm still to chicken to share my progress photos (but I'm working up the nerve) so you will have to settle for my beautiful blue butterfly. My results are below…YAAAAY!

Day 15 is in the books!

Peace & Love

Butterfly

MOVE	DAY 1	DAY 15	DESCRIPTION
SWITCH KICKS	51	59	SWITCH KICKS-2 kicks = 1 rep. jumping alternating front kicks
POWER JACKS	21	34	Jumping jack ending in a squat position
POWER KNEES	80	98	Standing at a slight angle bring knee up and arms down…very fast
POWER JUMPS	15	28	wide jumps, knees come up high, hands touch knees
GLOBE JUMPS	5	6	jump to right/back/left/front touching the floor and back up with each jump
SUICIDE JUMPS	4	7	Squat. thrust legs out into plank position, pull legs in and jump up
PUSH-UP JACKS	1	9	From a plank position take legs out wide when going down, pull together when pushing up…repeat
LOW PLANK OBLIQUE	15	20	From plank position-on forearms bring knee up as high as you can on the outside

I'm Still Committed...

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Sun, 15 May 2011 14:16:18 PDT

Sunday, May 15, 2011

For those of you who have been following my journey I want to let you know that I’m still committed to completing Insanity, walking 60 miles, and keeping you updated through the Live Life Well blog. However, due to a new job, I have decided that I will only update this blog weekly and when I have something new and exciting to share. What I have found is that I really don’t have much to say about the workouts once I have completed them the first time because the workouts repeat.

Today is day 13 of Insanity, which is my rest day. Tomorrow, Day 14 I will complete the fitness test again (If you remember, I completed the fitness test on Day 1) to determine if I have improved my fitness level. I am really excited to see and share my results tomorrow.

If you are curious to know how much weight I have lost, I am sorry to disappoint you, but I WILL NOT WEIGH MYSELF tomorrow. In the past, I was obsessed with the 3-digit number on the scale and when it did not show a decrease in spite of my hard work, it would really piss me off and I would become discouraged and usually quit the exercise routine. This time, I will measure my success on how my clothes fit, the fitness test, and measurements. I will weigh in on Day 60. The scale will probably piss me off on Day 60, but a least I will have completed the Insanity workout.

Finally, I challenge you to commit to purchasing a pedometer and tracking the number of steps you take each day. Try if for at least 30 days, you will be surprised at the things you will do to reach 10,000 steps.

Days 9-13… in the books

Peace & Love

Butterfly

CWUW has a new phone number!

noreply@blogger.com (Cleva) — Fri, 13 May 2011 13:24:02 PDT

CWUW has a new number!

If you need to speak with a CWUW member, please give us a call at 317-520-CWUW (2989)

Flying Solo

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Tue, 10 May 2011 20:11:54 PDT

Today was my first day going solo on the Insanity workout due to the fact that I am on the road. I completed my workout before leaving Atlanta with the support of Dorian and Tiara. They really cheered me on and encouraged me to dig deeper. Dorian actually took some nice action shots and I am happy to report that the nausea that I felt when I took my "before" pictures was slightly less...lol
I will share the pictures Dorian took when I return to Atlanta tomorrow along with pictures of Tiara and Christopher Digging Deeper.

I really don't have much to discuss today but I hope that you are considering ways to incorporate some form of exercise into your day. Shout out to Taneisha Pruitt for walking up 5 flights of stairs...daily! Don't stop!

Day 9 is in the books!

Peace & Love

Butterfly

Family Affair

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Mon, 09 May 2011 19:00:14 PDT

Monday, May 9, 2011

Ok, so today our daughter Tiara (19) and son Christopher (18) started Insanity. I am really proud and excited that they had joined in. I would be happy with any form of exercise, but it is nice that we are doing Insanity together. They are a week behind us, but we are cheerleading for them just like they have done for us.

Yesterday (Mother’s Day) I so enjoyed my rest day and my family, but I feel like I paid for it today when we started week 2. We are performing the same workouts but in a different order, but the workouts just seemed harder. On my rest day, I slept well and ate like I usually do, but today was difficult. IDK…

Anyway, I am started a new job today which is going to require me to travel so I am really going to need support to keep Digging Deeper and complete my 60 days of Insanity. I have to admit, in addition to the support of my family, contributing to this blog is another source of support and accountability for me so if you’re following, send me a shout out sometimes. Big hugs to Rhonda, Teresa, Erika, Tonia, Brandy, Kesha, Christian, and Collins; you are really keeping me accountable because it appears you are following my blog entries…yay! Please keep “liking” my blog entries and feel free to share some feedback. Thanks for the support. Oh, don’t forget to check out the CWUW site. www.cwuwonline.org

Day 8 is in the books!

Peace & Love,

Butterfly

P.S. I was too tired for pics and my cheerleaders/photographers are now Insaniacs. We will do better tomorrow and I will capture them Digging Deeper too.

Daughter inspires mother to improve health | The Indianapolis Star | indystar.com

noreply@blogger.com (Cleva) — Sun, 08 May 2011 11:27:41 PDT

Daughter inspires mother to improve health | The Indianapolis Star | indystar.com

Week 1 is in the books!

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Sat, 07 May 2011 19:59:52 PDT

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Today was Day 6 of the Insanity workout and I am tired. The workout today was one performed earlier in the week…second verse same as the first, it was tough! I have not weighed in, I will do that after I finish week 2. My entire body is sore and I welcome tomorrow, Day 7, rest day. Initially I was planning to walk 5 miles, but naaaaaaaaaa, I will rest and prepare for the foolishness to begin again on Monday.

Happy Mother's Day!

Day 6 is in the books!

Day 7 tomorrow so I will be resting. Holla at cha on Monday, the beginning of week 2!

My hubby is stunned! Yes Love, we made it through week 1!

Peace & Love,

Butterfly

Dig Deeper

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Fri, 06 May 2011 20:17:29 PDT

Friday, May 6, 2011

Shaun kicked our butts!

For the life of me, I could not figure out why Shaun T. would place a recovery workout in the middle of the week (Day 4); well today I figured it out…Pure Cardio. This workout was the most Insane of all the workouts thus far. This workout, like all the others, had me sweating like crazy by the end of the 10 minute warm-up. After that, Shaun was gracious enough to allow us to “rest” by stretching before the foolishness began. I am not complaining, just stating the facts. In fact, Shaun admits after the workout that “this sh*t was bananas.”

Dorian, T’Lai, and I really had to “Dig Deeper” with this workout, however, we felt pretty good about our efforts after we saw the folks in the video taking breaks during and literally dropping to their knees by the end. Today, I burned 946 calories in about 40 minutes and my heart rate at its highest was 178.

As I continue on my journey through Insanity, I hope that it will prepare me for the 60 miles I will walk over the course of 3 days in October for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure (yes, there is a method to my madness http://www.the3day.org/goto/LaWanda.Martindale). I also hope that by sharing my journey that I am inspiring you to "Dig Deeper,"and try to incorporate some form of exercise into your day…when you're ready. Here's one suggestion, a pedometer. A pedometer is great because it tracks your steps and may even challenge you to "Dig Deeper" by taking the stairs, parking farther, or simply taking a walk at lunch to reach your daily goal. Not to mention, if you live in Indy you can walk with CWUW on Wednesdays and Saturdays and knock out at least 3 miles on these days (see the website for details).

Anyway, one more day before my rest day.

Day 5 is in the books!

Peace & Love,

Butterfly

Mental Health Awareness: Speaking out about Bulimia

noreply@blogger.com (Cleva) — Fri, 06 May 2011 03:44:23 PDT

For many years, I have written on my various blogs about living with bulimia. http://clevawords.blogspot.com Its something that many don't understand and don't realize so many live in secrecy about. I'm a recovering bulimic. Bulimia is a mental disorder. Plan and simple. For the first time, I will be talking with a group this weekend about my history of eating disorders, body image, anxiety, and coping. I do feel the need to share with other women, especially black women, about this issue. Many women suffer from an eating disorder in one form or another especially binge eating disorder or emotional eating. Let's let go of the secrey and let the healing begin.

woman in the mirror

There are still issues I'm dealing with. I don't allow or like my picture to be taken. I'm also a workaholic. Both are anxiety and coping issues that are related to my history of bulimia. For me, bulimia wasn't and isn't about losing weight. Its about coping and the manner in which I address stress. Yes, some of it is wrapped in body image but its not central to my illness. Just a symptom, a by product.

I've been in the process of healing for a few years. I no longer binge/purge but I still have anxiety issues that are being addressed. I've embraced my humanity. I'm flawed and I'm beautiful. Takes a while to get there but bulimia has been a part of my journey since my 20s. I've lived with it. I'm ok with saying I've had a mental illness. Healing can only start with being honest and transparent. I've blogged about bulimia for a few years and I will continue to do so.

So, this Saturday, I will collaborate with Voice!boX and speak on living with bulimia, not as the Executive Director of CWUW or the Prevention Manager of the Damien Center, but as Rhonda....a everyday person, experiencing everyday things.

Be Well...

'You Think THAT'S Crazy...' VOICE!boX Inc EmPOWERtainment Session

The Griot Village

6213 La Pas Trail

Indianapolis, Indiana

SUBJECT MATTER: SERIOUS

ATMOSPHERE: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

COME Curious. Leave EmPOWERtained! BE. EAT. SPEAK. & WIN. FREELY.

Join Us for this INTERACTIVE Mental Health Awareness Session & MORE

OUT!LOUD for VOICE!boX Performers & Presenters:

Kenye Fudiyah
Rhonda Bayless
Pam Bass

SESSIONS TEXT re|MIND|er & RSVP text: 317.590.4300

Be Selfish

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:48:37 PDT

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I completed my Insanity workout today but I am not going to discuss that because I want to share something else that was in my spirit. After all, you’ve already read about my feelings regarding the Recovery day of Insanity; I told you last week before I fell off the wagon…lol

This move is included on the Recovery day!

Until I had my “rock bottom moment,” my desire to exercise, change my eating habits, and ultimately lose weight was an on/off thing. It was during this “rock bottom moment” that I realized my reasons for trying to improve myself were focused on any and everything except me. I would try to lose weight because I didn’t want my kids to be embarrassed because their mother was heavy. I wanted to lose weight because I wanted to be “sexy” for my husband. I wanted to lose weight because I did not like being referred to as the light-skinned, heavy set lady. Keep in mind, my children never acted as if they were embarrassed when I was around, my husband always told me (and still does) how beautiful and sexy he thought I was, and I don’t think people who described me were being mean, but because I was not happy with me, I perceived these things. Finally, I had a “light bulb moment” and realized that I needed to be selfish.

Being selfish comes with a stigma; after all it does mean that you lack consideration for others. However, what I learned was that I needed to be selfish if I wanted to improve myself mind, body, and spirit. I realized that I could not do it for my husband, kids, or others; my desire had to come from within. I needed to love me and if I did not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror, then I needed to fix it. Although I solicited the support of my family as I worked to improve me I had to be selfish and focus on what I needed to do to become the me I wanted to be.

Improving our health…mind, body, and soul has to be something that is selfish. You have to change because you want to change, not because others think you need to do.

Day 4 is in the books…again

Peace & Love

Butterfly

Mid-week Walk at Northwestway

noreply@blogger.com (CWUW) — Thu, 05 May 2011 18:11:20 PDT

In observance of National Women's Health Week (May8-14), Sister's Together will be starting our weekly mid-week walk at Northwestway Park, Wednesday May 11th at 6pm. Now you have 2 opportunities to walk with CWUW during the week.

Support

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Wed, 04 May 2011 20:17:17 PDT

I have learned that getting started with a workout is the most difficult for me; after I start I am usually okay. Well, today was no different; I wasn’t feeling all that Insane. However, I dug deep and finished my Day 3…again (remember, I fell of the wagon and had to start over…lol)

This is not water, this is actual DNA removal (sweat)

Working out alone is another area that is difficult for me, especially with a workout as extreme as Insanity. I love working out with my husband and our youngest daughter. I love the support of the folks who are following this blog (even if you don’t comment…lol), and I love making our 19-year-old daughter and 18-year-old son come out of their hideouts (bedrooms) and be our cheerleaders (no, they don’t like it, but who cares…lol). However, what I cannot stand is for someone working out with me to complain about how much they hate the workout and it is really bad when it is your spouse. I love my husband, lawd knows I do (in my best Miss Sophia voice), and I know that he doesn’t have the best knees due to football injuries however he knows this too. So I ask, why start the workout and complain about how difficult it is? I mean, we watched the infomercial so did he think it was going to be different?

Our tough faces…lol

Anyway, I went off on a tangent and said all of that to say, if you need support when you work out, don’t hesitate to use the folks you love most, your family. They don’t necessarily have to workout with you, but you can create your own cheering section, trust me it helps.

Finally, if you are wondering if the Love of My Life reads this blog, the answer is yes. And with that I say to him “shut up already, damn” (all you Prince fans know the voice I’m using…lol) and Dig Deep or go back to P90X and Bring It! Whatever the case, let’s keep supporting each other on our journeys. I love you and don't be mad because I put you on blast! lol

Day 3 is in the books…again

Butterfly

Transparency

noreply@blogger.com (LaWanda Martindale) — Tue, 03 May 2011 19:15:23 PDT

My name is LaWanda and I fell off the Insanity wagon. There, I said it!

If you have been following my Insanity journey you probably noticed that I have not posted in a couple of days. The reason, I fell off the wagon. When I decided to share my journey, I knew that I would be totally transparent which means sharing my successes as well as failures. After all, why share a journey if you only want to share your high points?

We're going all the way…this time!

Falling off the wagon every now and then is a reality for me. Sometimes I eat way too much ice cream (Ben and Jerry’s Karamel Sutra to be exact), drink too much wine, or like this past weekend, I don’t exercise. I used to get so down on myself when I fell short of reaching my goal but now…I simply refocus and start again. If I decided to dwell on the fact that I fell off the wagon, I probably wouldn’t get back up.

Today, I am not going to share my thoughts on Day 2, I’ve done that already. Instead, I will say, if you are working towards a goal and you fall off the wagon simply get up.

Day 2 is in the books…again!

Butterfly