General Topics

Randy Johnson Hits Bird

2013-06-20T10:17:00.001-07:00

Truth of "Jesus in India" a BBC Documentary

2013-06-18T23:59:00.001-07:00

Truth of "Jesus in India" a BBC Documentary

2013-06-18T23:58:00.001-07:00

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address - YouTube

2013-06-12T13:10:00.001-07:00

12 Mysterious Google Maps Sightings

2013-06-11T20:45:00.001-07:00

12 Mysterious Google Maps Sightings:

Google Maps is an incredible resource for virtual sightseeing, but it's also home to some quirky and mysterious finds, from shipwrecked boats to a Photoshopped Irish prison.

For example, much of North Korea is not visible on Google Maps, aside from the city of Pyongyang. Zooming in to North Korea — a nation known for its Internet censorship — will most likely get you an up-close look at rocky terrain, even in heavily populated areas.

In addition to a collection of mysterious crop circles, Google Maps also highlights out some man-made ones, such as the Firefox crop circle in Oregon. This was created by the Oregon State University Linux Users group in 2006 to mark the popular web browser's 50 millionth download.

SEE ALSO: 10 Places You’re Not Allowed to See on Google Maps

Among the list of things that will have you scratching your head is a specific location in Russia that has been blurred out. Since the closest city is Egvekinot, Russia, which is a neighbor to Alaska across the Bering Strait, it's unclear what could be hiding in the middle of the Siberian tundra.

What's Wrong with Job Interviews, and How to Fix Them

2013-06-11T11:47:00.001-07:00

What's Wrong with Job Interviews, and How to Fix Them | LinkedIn: I needed to hire a new salesperson, and one resume stood out like a sore thumb. The applicant, Ari, was a math major and built robots in his spare time—clearly not the right skill set for sales. But my boss thought Ari looked interesting, so I called him in for an interview. Sure enough, he bombed it.

I reported back to my president that although Ari seemed like a nice guy, during the 45-minute interview, he didn’t make any eye contact. It was obvious that he lacked the social skills to build relationships with clients. I knew I was in trouble when my president started laughing. “Who cares about eye contact? This is a phone sales job.”

We invited Ari back for a second round. Instead of interviewing him, a colleague recommended a different approach, which made it clear that he would be a star. I hired Ari, and he ended up being the best salesperson on my team. I walked away with a completely new way of evaluating talent. Ever since, I’ve been working with organizations on rethinking their selection and hiring processes.

Interviews are terrible predictors of job performance. Consider a rigorous, comprehensive analysis of hundreds of studies of more than 32,000 job applicants over an 85-year period by Frank Schmidt and Jack Hunter. They covered more than 500 different jobs— including salespeople, managers, engineers, teachers, lawyers, accountants, mechanics, reporters, farmers, pharmacists, electricians, and musicians—and compared information gathered about applicants to the objective performance that they achieved in the job. After obtaining basic information about candidates’ abilities, standard interviews only accounted for 8% of the differences in performance and productivity. Think about it this way: imagine that you interviewed 100 candidates, ranked them in order from best to worst, and then measured their actual performance in the job. You’d be lucky if you put more than eight in the right spot.

Interviewer biases are one major culprit. When I dismissed Ari, I fell victim to two common traps: confirmation bias and similarity bias. Confirmation bias is what leads us to see what we expect to see—we look for cues that validate our preconceived notions while discounting or overlooking cues that don’t match our expectations. Since I had already concluded that Ari wasn’t cut out for sales, I zeroed in on his lack of eye contact as a signal that I was right. It didn’t occur to me that eye contact was irrelevant for a phone sales job—and I didn’t notice his talents in building rapport, asking questions, and thinking creatively. Once we expect a candidate to be strong or weak, we ask confirming questions and pay attention to confirming answers, which prevents us from gauging the candidate’s actual potential.

Why did I form this expectation in the first place? Extensive research shows that interviewers try to hire themselves: we naturally favor candidates with personalities, attitudes, values, and backgrounds to our own. I was a psychology major with hobbies of springboard diving, performing magic, and playing word games, and I had done the sales job the previous year. Ari was a robot-building math major, so he didn’t fit my mental model of a salesperson. He wasn’t Mini-Me.

After writing Blink, Malcolm Gladwell became so concerned about his own biases that he removed himself from the processing of interviewing assistants altogether. And even if we take steps to reduce interviewer bias, there’s no guarantee that applicants will share information that accurately forecasts their performance. One challenge is impression management: candidates want to put their best foot forward, so they tend to give the answers that are socially desirable rather than honest. Another challenge is self-deception: candidates are notoriously inaccurate about their own capabilities. Consider these data pointssummarized by psychologist David Dunning and colleagues:

(1) High school seniors: 70% report having “above average” leadership skills, compared with 2% “below average,” and when rating their abilities to get along with others, 25% believe they were in the top 1% and 60% put themselves in the top 10%.

(2) College professors: 94% think they do above-average work.

(3) Engineers: in two different companies, 32% and 42% believe their performance was in the top 5% in their companies.

(4) Doctors, nurses, and surgeons: for treating thyroid disorders, handling basic life support tasks, and performing surgery, there is no correlation between what healthcare professionals say they know and what they actually know.

Overall, Dunning and colleagues estimate that employees’ self-ratings only capture about 8% of their objective performance. Also, the data show that the most unskilled candidates are the least aware of their own incompetence. The less you know in a given domain, the less qualified you are to judge excellence in that domain. The punch line: candidates are not reliable sources of information about their talents. As Timothy Wilson concludes in Strangers to Ourselves, “people often do not know themselves very well.”

The good news is that interviews can be improved. Schmidt and Hunter found that whereas an unstructured interview only explains 8% of the variance in job performance, a structured interview explains 24%. A structured interview involves asking every applicant the same questions and evaluating the responses using a standardized scoring system. If you ask different questions to each candidate, you’ll end up comparing apples and oranges—it’s like a teacher giving out five different math tests, grading them with different criteria, and then trying to figure out which students are the best at math. To form meaningful opinions about candidates, you need to give them all the same opportunity to perform.

The most effective questions are called situational judgment questions. Instead of asking candidates to describe how they handled a unique situation in a previous job or organization, it’s more fruitful to describe consistent situations that candidates could face in this job or organization, and ask them what they would do—or how they would reason. For example, in my own research, I wanted to assess whether it was possible to screen out applicants who tend to operate like takers (people who aim to get more than they give), and focus on hiring matchers (people who like trading favors evenly) and givers (those who enjoy helping without strings attached). If I asked applicants directly, few would admit to being takers, so I designed a situational judgment test. Here’s a sample question:

A few years ago, you helped a colleague named Jamie find a job. You’ve been out of touch since then. All of a sudden, Jamie sends an email introducing you to a potential business partner. What’s the most likely motivation behind Jamie’s email?

(a) Jamie genuinely wants to help me

(b) Jamie wants to pay me back

Evidence shows that under ambiguity, we tend to project our own motivations onto others. When we encounter a behavior from a stranger that has multiple explanations, we choose the one that captures how we would behave. This means that we can indirectly assess taking, matching, and giving motives by asking applicants to make sense of others’ behavior. In this question, the most common choice is (b)—most people select matching as the default for professional exchange—and a few givers opt for (a). The takers are more likely to choose (c), believing that there’s a self-serving motive lurking behind this seemingly generous act. It works especially well because it’s unclear what the “right” answer is; takers believe that most people are fundamentally selfish. Of course, we can’t rely on a single question alone, any more than we could accurately assess someone’s knowledge of irrelevant facts with one Trivial Pursuit question. A good situational judgment test typically involves at least half a dozen questions, and sometimes as many as 25.

Interestingly, these situational questions don’t require interviews at all; they can be completed and scored online. Researchers have validated situational tests to assess applicant characteristics as diverse as integrity, personal initiative, emotional intelligence, andaggression. In one study with Dane Barnes of Optimize Hire, we gave salespeople a situational questionnaire about their tendencies to take initiative, and then tracked their annual revenue. Here’s what we found:

Low initiative: $53,798
Moderate initiative: $118,808
High initiative: $155,663

On average, employees with moderate initiative scores generated more than double the annual revenue of those with low initiative scores, and those with high initiative scores brought in 30% more annual revenue. The higher the initiative, the more proactive and persistent salespeople were in identifying new customer bases, learning about untapped needs, pitching new products, and overcoming barriers to sales. The high scorers were also more than five times less likely to quit than the low scorers. In another study, we gave several hundred satellite dish technicians an online aggression questionnaire. Over the next nine months, those who scored high in aggressive reasoning were more than twice as likely to quit or be terminated. This is consistent with evidence that aggressive employees are more inclined to justify withdrawal and less likely to feel responsible for staying with the organization.

Rather than wasting a great deal of time and money interviewing applicants, you can learn a great deal about them from online situational judgment tests. To write a situational judgment test that’s tailored to your own arena, start by writing short descriptions of the types of situations that distinguish your stars from average and poor performers. Then, give the scenarios to some of your colleagues, and ask what they would do. You can create an answer key by scoring the responses from the star performers at the top, and the responses from the poor performers at the bottom. From there, you can test-drive the questions with a pool of applicants. See if you get a range of answers, and if the candidates with higher scores end up being better performers on the job. Once you have some evidence, use the test to weed out the applicants with the poorest results. Research by Rick Jacobs, an industrial-organizational psychologist and founder and CEO of EB Jacobs, suggests that the cost of a bad hire is often double the benefit of a good hire, so it’s most valuable to screen out the lowest-scoring candidates.

At that point, you can invite the higher-scoring applicants to visit your organization. But why spend your time interviewing them when there’s a better way to assess their potential? It’s called a work sample. Ask applicants to bring actual examples of tasks they’ve completed, products they’ve created, or data on results they’ve achieved. If you’re hiring salespeople, ask for their revenue data and either a presentation video or a slide deck. If you’re evaluating teachers, obtain their recent teaching evaluations. When selecting computer programmers or engineers, ask them for programs they’ve built or drawings they’ve done. Past behavior is a strong predictor of future behavior, so if candidates have worked in a similar job, these work samples are immensely useful. Consider an analogy to baseball: what most managers do in interviews is the equivalent of trying to forecast a pitcher’s performance by asking him about his throwing ability. As Moneyball reminds us, it’s easier to predict a pitcher’s performance in the pros by looking at his statistics from college or high school.

But sometimes the past work is confidential or not recorded—or we just need to hire people with no relevant experience. This was the challenge I faced with Ari: he had never done anything like sales. My colleague Brad Olson introduced me to the solution: I could create my own work sample by giving Ari a simulated sales task. Brad’s advice was to ask Ari, and the other candidates, to sell me a rotten apple. “If he can sell that, he can sell anything.” When I gave Ari the task, he demonstrated an impressive ability to think creatively and sell persuasively on the spot. “This may look like a rotten apple, but it’s actually an aged apple. You can use the seeds to plant a beautiful apple tree in your backyard—cheaper than the seeds normally are.” (This is the second-best apple pitch I’ve ever seen, behind only the apple that sold on eBay for thousands of dollars based on a claim that it had Tiger Woods’ DNA.)

Once we saw Ari sell, we had the chance to directly observe his motivation and ability. Theevidence on simulations shows that if they capture job-relevant behaviors, they reveal a great deal about a candidate’s potential. And if you design them right, they can become remarkably efficient. Here’s an example inspired by Change to Strange by Dan Cable. Imagine that you’re GE, and you want to hire people to write technical manuals on how to put together a toaster oven. Some candidates have more experience than others, so you level the playing field by putting a working lawn mower in front of them. Their task is to write a manual for how to put a lawn mower together. It takes a typical applicant two hours—hardly a time-saving assessment. But then you notice that the candidates who go on to be your star writers did something different in the first five minutes than everyone else.

They took the lawn mower apart. Immediately, you know that they have the intuition to take the customer’s perspective, and you can cancel the rest of the simulation. Now, it takes you just five minutes to screen applicants on customer orientation. (For other excellent examples of simulations designed by some of the world’s greatest talent scouts—from Google and Facebook to the U.S. Special Forces and Teach For America—see The Rare Find by George Anders.)

Although scientific evidence supports the validity of situational judgment tests, work samples, and simulations, relatively few organizations use them. This creates a competitive advantage for those that are ahead of the curve: they’re better at spotting diamonds in the rough and screening out applicants who talk a good game but won’t ultimately deliver. But imagine a world in which every organization relied on these tools. Should we eliminate interviews altogether?

Maybe not. Interviews aren’t great for assessing job performance, but they can reveal quite a bit about cultural fit. When I work with organizations on redesigning selection systems, my advice is to start with situational judgment tests, work samples, and/or simulations. That should narrow the pool to a set of applicants with the attributes necessary to succeed in the job. At that point, an interview might be a useful way to figure out whether this person is a good match for the organization.

The legal implications of using scientific assessments vary from country to country. In the U.S., the law states that employers are obligated to hire on attributes that are relevant to job performance. Since situational judgment tests, work samples, and simulations are better predictors of performance than interviews, the law actually favors these approaches. In fact, the Supreme Court has ruled in support of aptitude and ability tests that are professionally developed.

Organizations place far too much weight on interviews. It’s time for the pendulum to swing in the other direction. Instead of assessing how well people talk, let’s observe how they work.

9 Qualities Of Truly Confident People

2013-06-11T11:44:00.001-07:00

9 Qualities Of Truly Confident People | LinkedIn:

First things first: Confidence is not bravado, or swagger, or an overt pretense of bravery. Confidence is not some bold or brash air of self-belief directed at others.

Confidence is quiet: It’s a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard.

I’m fortunate to know a number of truly confident people. Many work with me at HubSpot, others are fellow founders of their own startups some of whom I've met through my angel investment activity. But the majority are people I’ve met through my career and who work in a variety of industries and professions.

It comes as no surprise they all share a number of qualities:

1. They take a stand not because they think they are always right… but because they are not afraid to be wrong.

Cocky and conceited people tend to take a position and then proclaim, bluster, and totally disregard differing opinions or points of view. They know they’re right – and they want (actually they need) you to know it too.

Their behavior isn’t a sign of confidence, though; it’s the hallmark of an intellectual bully.

Truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They feel finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously.

Truly confident people often admit they’re wrong or don’t have all the answers; intellectual bullies never do.

2. They listen ten times more than they speak.

Bragging is a mask for insecurity. Truly confident people are quiet and unassuming. They already know what they think; they want to know what you think.

So they ask open-ended questions that give other people the freedom to be thoughtful and introspective: They ask what you do, how you do it, what you like about it, what you learned from it… and what they should do if they find themselves in a similar situation.

Truly confident people realize they know a lot, but they wish they knew more… and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.

3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.

Perhaps it’s true they did the bulk of the work. Perhaps they really did overcome the major obstacles. Perhaps it’s true they turned a collection of disparate individuals into an incredibly high performance team.

Truly confident people don’t care – at least they don’t show it. (Inside they’re proud, as well they should be.) Truly confident people don’t need the glory; they know what they’ve achieved.

They don’t need the validation of others, because true validation comes from within.

So they stand back and celebrate their accomplishments through others. They stand back and let others shine – a confidence boost that helps those people become truly confident, too.

4. They freely ask for help.

Many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness; implicit in the request is a lack of knowledge, skill, or experience.

Confident people are secure enough to admit a weakness. So they often ask others for help, not only because they are secure enough to admit they need help but also because they know that when they seek help they pay the person they ask a huge compliment.

Saying, “Can you help me?” shows tremendous respect for that individual’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise you wouldn't ask.

5. They think, “Why not me?”

Many people feel they have to wait: To be promoted, to be hired, to be selected, to be chosen... like the old Hollywood cliché, to somehow be discovered.

Truly confident people know that access is almost universal. They can connect with almost anyone through social media. (Everyone you know knows someone you should know.) They know they can attract their own funding, create their own products, build their own relationships and networks, choose their own path – they can choose to follow whatever course they wish.

And very quietly, without calling attention to themselves, they go out and do it.

6. They don't put down other people.

Generally speaking, the people who like to gossip, who like to speak badly of others, do so because they hope by comparison to make themselves look better.

The only comparison a truly confident person makes is to the person she was yesterday – and to the person she hopes to someday become.

7. They aren’t afraid to look silly…

Running around in your underwear is certainly taking it to extremes… but when you’re truly confident, you don’t mind occasionally being in a situation where you aren't at your best.

(And oddly enough, people tend to respect you more when you do – not less.)

8. … And they own their mistakes.

Insecurity tends to breed artificiality; confidence breeds sincerity and honesty.

That’s why truly confident people admit their mistakes. They dine out on their screw-ups. They don’t mind serving as a cautionary tale. They don’t mind being a source of laughter – for others and for themselves.

When you’re truly confident, you don’t mind occasionally “looking bad.” You realize that that when you’re genuine and unpretentious, people don’t laugh at you.

They laugh with you.

9. They only seek approval from the people who really matter.

You say you have 10k Twitter followers? Swell. 20k Facebook friends? Cool. A professional and social network of hundreds or even thousands? That’s great.

But that also pales in comparison to earning the trust and respect of the few people in your life that truly matter.

When we earn their trust and respect, no matter where we go or what we try, we do it with true confidence – because we know the people who truly matter the most are truly behind us.

Facebook goes public on may 17

2012-04-19T09:47:00.001-07:00

Facebook Hopes to Go Public on May 17 [REPORT]

Sent text to wrong person

2012-04-19T09:44:00.001-07:00

1 in 10 Have Sent Sexts to the Wrong Person [INFOGRAPHIC]

Ready to Eat ....

2011-06-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

Take it Easy, Just for Fun (boob - top view, front view, side view)

2011-06-03T04:57:00.000-07:00

Innovative Idea: Angry Birds Cup Cakes

2011-06-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

Ostrich Pillow Thingy For Napping At Work

2011-06-03T04:36:00.001-07:00

Pure Love

2011-06-03T04:31:00.001-07:00

Target Dog

2011-06-03T04:29:00.001-07:00

Smile, you're getting older

2011-05-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

A new study shows that the older you become, the happier you grow, as older people look to the positive, and make the most of every moment

It was a moment when the world held its breath - Kate Middleton said "I do" to Prince William. It was a high point celebrating everything youthful and romantic. Let's admit it, we live in a youth-centric society and every aspiration we have is somehow linked to beating aging.

But in that grand wedding what people also noticed was the demeanour of Queen Elizabeth as she walked elegantly with Prince Phillip. The couple - he will be 90 next month and she is 85 - were just as impressive a sight as the newly weds. The contrast was, for me, comforting. Just days before I had read about a recent study that said old age is a far happier time in one's life than youth and middle age.

Laura Carstensen, professor of psychology and director of the Stanford Institute of Longevity at Stanford University, who took up the project says, "The biggest myth on the menu is that older people are inevitably unhappy, lonely and dejected. If you've been dreading the passage of time because you worry that your happiest days are behind you, take heart."

The best is yet to come

Carstensen should know. She has spent the past 30 years investigating the psychology of aging. "My research consistently shows that in terms of emotion the best years come late in life. With the exception of dementia-related diseases, which by definition have organic roots, mental health generally improves with age."

"Older people," says Carstensen, "as a group suffer less from depression, anxiety and substance abuse than their younger counterparts. In everyday life, they experience fewer negative emotions than people in their 20s and 30s - the people we stereotypically think of as the most happy. Moreover, older people manage negative emotions better than younger people. When negative feelings arise, they don't linger on them the way the young tend to."

Carstensen says the findings challenge our implicit understanding of happiness, which is that it flows from the esoteric qualities of youth: health, beauty, power. But if these naturally recede with age, why are older people so content? "This has been dubbed the ‘paradox of aging'," she says, "but I maintain there is more logic than paradox." To buttress her findings, Carstensen has come up with the theory of socio-emotional selectivity. The theory is largely about how we perceive the time at hand and that perception affects our responses to life. In her book, A Long Bright Future, she writes: "Socio-emotional selectivity theory maintains that the perception of the future profoundly influences our goals. Time's passage changes our perspective on where we are in our own life span.

"When we are young, and time seems to stretch limitlessly before us, we make choices that we hope will help us expand our social pool, broaden our world view, and give us the experiences and resources we'll need to make a life for ourselves in a complex, crowded society. We go to mixers and parties, we join teams and clubs, and we accept blind dates. We are open to meeting lots of new people, and if it turns out that we don't click with them, well, there's plenty of time to meet others we might find more satisfying."

However, once we hit the half century mark and beyond, a different sort of realisation hits us about the time we have at hand. We want to make the most of it. We begin to prioritise and savour the relationships we already have. Which is not to say that older people don't join clubs and make new friends. Overall, says Carstensen, older people are less motivated to make new social connections and more interested in the upkeep of the ones they already have.

The best thing about aging, Carstensen says, is that it reminds you that you don't have all the time in the world to "get it right". This refocusing doesn't represent "disengaging" from society. On the contrary, it's about engaging in a way that values quality over quantity. Friday asked people to share the simple truths of their lives.

Colin Nicholas: 80 years old
A keen golfer and hockey player, Colin Nicholas lives with his wife in Perth, Australia. He's a stubborn fighter who does not believe in giving up easily. In his younger days, he was the director of a large architectural practice in Australia, a councillor of the Australian hockey federation and he designed the first synthetic hockey stadium in the southern hemisphere.

A father of four and grandfather of six, he travelled to the Tree of Life Rejuvenation Center in Arizona, United States, last month. A few months ago, Nicholas, a diabetic, was on the verge of losing his leg but he changed his lifestyle, ate a raw food diet and saved his leg. Determined to keep up this energising lifestyle, he and his wife have adopted this vegetarian raw food diet into their lives. They love travelling and connecting with the families of their children around the world and think age is just a creation of the mind. Nicholas spoke to Friday on a recent visit to his son in Dubai.

What's your secret to understanding happiness?

An awareness in the world and the love within the family unit.

What are your three tips for beating the odds?

Good education, good health and keeping away from gambling.

Your youth was the time of…

Adventure, discipline and fun. I loved sports and enjoyed my architectural work. In designing the hockey stadium I combined both.

Name one value that has guided you through life

Honesty. There's nothing like a clear conscience.

What is missing in the world today?

Many things, but chief among them are discipline and a healthy lifestyle. Besides that, some core values such as humanity, respect and self-discipline are lacking in our lives today.

Would you have lived life differently if you had had the chance?

Not at all. I have made a lovely family with my wife and wouldn't want to change that for anything.

What values did your parents teach you that you have passed on to your children?

Honesty, integrity, a good and worldly education.

This world would have been a better place to live in…

If people had the core values of mutual respect, self-discipline and humanity.

The real meaning of age according to you is…

Age is purely a statistic and fitness is essential. Physical education and active sports should filter through your full life span. People with degenerate bodies have, in many cases, caused it by self indulgence and abuse.

Growing old is a beautiful experience because…

I am surrounded by a wonderful family of 13 members and a multitude of fine friends.

Yuriko Mathrani: 64 years old
A Dubai resident for the past 12 years, Yuriko Mathrani is not ready to hang up her boots yet. Heading the financial operations as the CFO of her husband's electronic business, she is at work each day and has been for the past 23 years. A doting mother and grandmother, she has been married for 30 years and thinks life is what you make of it.

What's your secret to understanding happiness?

Be thankful for today. You have today because you had a yesterday.

What are your three tips for beating the odds?

Open heart, appreciation, gratitude.

Your youth was the time of…

Bliss, as I didn't know the real world out there.

Name one value that has guided you through life

Gratitude. It humbles you.

What is missing in the world today?

Time! Everybody is too busy. I say, look around you and enjoy nature, feel it, listen to the wind…

Would you have lived life differently if you had had the chance?

I am pretty sure given the chance I would have lived life in exactly the same way I have been living.

What values did your parents teach you that you have passed on to your children?

Love, gratitude, appreciation.

This world would have been a better place to live in…

if we have an open mind. Be more appreciative and be more thankful for everything.

Growing old is a beautiful experience because…

You can do anything you want at your own pace.

Ishu Rupani: 59 years old
Every week Ishu Rupani loves communing with nature on the golf course because he believes a good tee time makes him feel happier and youthful. He has been married for 30 years, and has three grown up children. He has travelled to more than 100 countries, loves bungee jumping, skydiving and trekking and is fond of meeting new people each day.

What's your secret to understanding happiness?

I count my blessings and am always thankful for what I have and this makes me always happy!

What are your three tips for beating the odds?

I think it's important to be positive; once you have a positive attitude you can challenge any difficulty and accomplish any difficult task.

Your youth was a time of…

Simplicity and small pleasures. My youth was spent in a small town in India with no TV, no mobile phones, no computer games but more of sports at school as well as outdoor games played in alleyways. More hands-on learning!

Name one value that has guided you through life

I have always believed that whatever you want to achieve, first and foremost you need to be committed. For me, commitment is a very strong value and has always guided my decisions.

What is missing in the world today?

In our generation I think there was always more time for family and friends. Relationships were valued. Nowadays I think this is missing to some extent.

Would you have lived life any differently if you had had the chance?

Not really. I think I have lived a wonderful life so far by balancing all important values such as physical-mental-spiritual-social and financial. With a great family and so many friends around, life has been a greatly fulfilling journey.

What values did your parents teach you that you have passed on to your children?

My parents always guided me to work hard, study hard and be helpful within the family and to society. I have tried to pass on the same values to my children. However, I have also made efforts to give them the freedom of choice to live their life the way they want to.

This world would have been a better place to live in…

If you give whatever you can. If you can make anyone's life better, go ahead and do it. If all of us could do this, it would be a better place.

Growing old is a beautiful experience because…
I'd much rather prefer to grow young and continue to enjoy the satisfying life I have lived so far with no regrets. And I look forward to the future knowing fully well that whatever I make of my life is up to me.

Eileen Cochrane: 61 years old
Eileen Cochrane is really living it up. A former psychiatric nurse and senior social work practitioner from Dundee, Scotland, Eileen came to Dubai and enrolled at university to learn to teach English as a second language and is now living life at her pace. She has been married for 35 years, and has two children and six grandchildren. She has enrolled as a member of a worldwide organisation, The Red Hat Society, which encourages women after a certain age to grow old ‘disgracefully'. In other words, break the rules and have fun. Members believe in the Red Hat poem, which begins:

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me."

What's your secret to understanding happiness?

I don't think there is any secret. Everyone has their own idea of what happiness is. For me it's when everything is OK in my world.

What are your three tips for beating the odds?

Have faith in yourself, be optimistic and persevere.

Your youth was the time of…

Too much worry and responsibilities!

Name one value that has guided you through life

Treat others the way I would like to be treated.

What is missing in the world today?

Compassion and tolerance is less apparent nowadays. People are too busy thinking of themselves.

Would you have lived life differently if you had had the chance?

There are certain bits of my life which I regret but I don't think I would change because good things have come out of the bad. The only thing I may have done differently was work harder at school. I had a brain but did not realise it until I was in my 20's and 30's.

What values did your parents teach you that you have passed on to your children?

My parents instilled in me a work ethic which I have tried to pass on to my kids.

This world would have been a better place to live in…

If everyone could set aside differences and accept each other.

Growing old is a beautiful experience because…

I don't think growing old is a ‘beautiful' experience. It's something we cannot do anything about and we have to accept it and make the best of it. The only consolation we have is that perhaps things get easier and responsibilities get less. I may have more time for myself and can ‘spoil' my grandchildren. I think it's fine so long as you have your health.

Dating tips for single parents

2011-05-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

You've mastered the playdate, but now it's time for the date-date. If you're feeling nervous or confused about entering the complex world of dating again, you're not alone.

Read on as single parents share their dating dilemmas and Amy Spencer, relationship expert and author of "Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match" solves them.

Where Can I Meet People?

Problem: Park, zoo, Chuck E. Cheese, library, my backyard -- I don't really find myself in adult environments these days. How can I meet a guy when I don't really go out to the bars or clubs anymore?--Renee, 30, Totowa, New Jersey

Solution: Spencer says to rethink that afternoon of fun. "It's hard to meet your match when everyone you're hanging out with is under three feet tall."

She recommends, instead of heading to kid-centered places, to try some kid-friendly ones, where you might be able to scope out a cutie.

"A museum, bookstore, sidewalk fair, farmer's market, or a park without swings where your kid can run on the grass and play catch are all places where adults hang out too," advises Spencer.

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When Should You Reveal You Have Kids?

Problem: I took the plunge and joined an online dating site. I'm anxious to note I have a kid because I don't want to scare guys away. What should I do? --Ashley, 28, Winter Garden, Florida

Solution: You're teaching your kids not to lie, right? Well, Spencer says to follow your own advice. "If you're going to send mixed or false signals, there's no point in shooting the flare gun up at all.

Check the 'yes' box that you have a kid, and when it comes to filling in your 'About Me' box, mention in one brief sentence that you have a child you're nuts about.

But then, use the rest of the space to talk about nothing but you. This is the one area of your life that isn't about what your child wants, but about what you want."

For example, tell potential suitors what books you like to read (this is an Elmo-free zone), latest movie you saw (Don't you dare say Toy Story), what food you like to cook (chicken nuggets don't count even if you prepare them every, single day!)."

Bottom line: If things work out, then you can start gushing about your little one and eventually let your date see for his- or herself.

How Do I Talk to My Kids About My Dating?

Problem: My daughter is twelve years old and I want to be honest with her when it comes to leaving her with a sitter to go out. In other words, if I'm going on a date, I don't want to tell her I have a work obligation. But, is it OK to be honest about dating with my child? --Carol, 34, New Haven, Connecticut

Solution: Just like you're not lying about having a kid to your date -- don't lie about having a date to your kid. Still, less is more, says Deborah Roth Ledley, PhD, licensed psychologist, founder of the website TheCalmMom.com and author of "Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood."

"Keep it simple and say something like, 'I've been feeling so lonely and it is time for me to start meeting some new people.' If your child asks a question about your date, respond with a short and simple answer, but if they are satisfied with the initial statement, change the subject to homework or something important to them."

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When Do I Introduce the Kids?

Problem: I've been dating a nice man consistently for seven weeks and I'm wondering if it's time to introduce my 10-year-old son to him. Is there ever a right time? --Diane, 40, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Solution: Just like you don't tell your kid everything, you don't have to introduce them to everyone. "It is important to not introduce your kids to every person you go on two or three dates with. Many kids form attachments very easily. When kids are introduced to someone 'special,' they assume it actually means something and then if the person disappears, this shifts their whole belief system," says Ledley.

This doesn't mean you can't ever introduce your child to Mr. Right or that you have to sneak around like a high schooler.

"Just wait until it really seems as if the relationship is serious and stable. Then, it can be nice to introduce your child to a new person in their own environment. Have the new boyfriend/girlfriend over for a casual pizza party. The kids will feel more comfortable in their own home and might enjoy bonding by showing the new person their stuff, like a favorite toy or backyard space," advises Ledley.

How Do I Make, uh, Sex Actually Happen?

Problem: Face it, even though I'm 29, I have a curfew -- as in I have to get home to relieve the babysitter. I've been seeing someone for two months now and I want to...you know. How do I have my adult fun when the date is on a time schedule? --Shannon, 29, Avon, Ohio

Solution: Yes, you can have your cake, eat and enjoy it too. Spencer says, "If your carriage is turning into a pumpkin just when your night is getting more interesting with someone you've been on a few dates with, consider starting your next date at his place, rather than ending it there. Cook dinner and then watch a movie so you feel like you're getting more out of your night."

You could also schedule a mid-day romp on your lunch break or when your child is at after-school activities. It's invigorating!

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How Do I Get Back Into the Game?

Problem: The last guy I dated was my son's father. My son is now four and I am really nervous to go on a date and almost feel like I've never even been kissed. I'd rather stay home, read books to my daughter, tuck her and then me in, because it's familiar. How do I get out of this funk? --Heather, 30, Indianapolis, Indiana

Solution: If you're feeling butterflies in your stomach (or like you could use a shot of liquid courage) don't worry -- it's normal, according to Spencer.

"We're always nervous when we step into new or unfamiliar territory. Embrace that nervous energy, those sweaty palms and the knots in your stomach, because they're all signs you're taking a positive step forward to try something new in your life. You have to step out on a limb sometimes -- that's where all the fruit is."

To put things in greater perspective, think about all of the things you've managed as a single parent: middle-of-the-night illness, potty training, getting the bills paid. A date with a cutie and a cocktail is nothing -- it's fun! And you deserve it.

How do I Overcome Insecurity after a Break-up?

Problem: I'm really insecure about dating. If the father of my child didn't like me enough to stay around, what makes me think a guy who has no biological connection to my child will? --Tia, 34, New York, New York

Solution: "It's so completely understandable that you feel insecure for this reason, but the decision by the father of your child to leave was his, not yours -- and a choice that big cannot boil down to something as simple as 'not liking you enough.'

"Whatever his reasons were, they were his reasons, his issues, and his problems, not yours. So please, don't let his life choice mirror back that you weren't worth it. You are worth it," says Spencer.

She suggests this trick: Make a list of ten reasons why you would want to date you -- qualities you bring to the table that your friends, family and child appreciate. Maybe you make a mean lasagna, can hold your own on the tennis court, can tell a great joke, or always know what someone wants before they speak.

Once you see ten reasons (and if you're on a roll, make it 20!), you'll be on the path to seeing that your ex leaving was his loss, but another great man's gain.

How Do I Find Time to Date?

Problem: I have my son every other weekend and every Wednesday night. Should I let my date know that I have priorities when it comes to scheduling? I'm ready to meet some women, but should I even bother? -- Mike, 40, Boston, Massachusetts

Solution: This doesn't sound like a problem, but more like an excuse! Spencer says, "If you really want love in your life, you're never too busy to make it happen. Maybe you're not looking for a full-time serious relationship yet, and that's okay. Maybe all you're up for right now is meeting some women, without the pressure of a big relationship looming.

"As much as you feel encumbered by your busy schedule, don't come to the table with an appointment book that makes your dates feel like business meetings you've squeezed in between the office and time with your son. Ask them out in the times you have open without listing every one of your commitments before you've even met for coffee."

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Can I Date a Non-Parent?

Problem: This younger guy at my work recently asked me out. He knows I'm a mom, but I doubt he's ever changed a diaper in his entire life. I think he's really cute, but should I blow him off because we have nothing in common? --Jade, 32, Adrian, Texas

Solution: Don't close doors before you even open them. And remember you are more than just a mother to your child.

"As much as it feels like it right now, your life goes deeper than changing diapers and watching cartoons. With all the parenting you've been doing, it's easy to forget that, but you're a person unto yourself. Just because you enjoy ice cream at the park with your kid doesn't mean you can't love wine, museums, movies, or a night out dancing -- all of the things you engaged in prior to becoming a mom," advises Spencer.

Do I Have to Introduce My Ex to the New Person in My Life?

Problem: When my wife comes to pick up our daughter, I tell my new girlfriend to stay inside, and last time I picked my daughter up at her mom's, I had my girlfriend wait in the car. Do I need to introduce my girlfriend to my ex-wife? --Sean, 31, Farrell, Pennsylvania

Solution: If you're feeling awkward about this, don't worry -- this is awkward. Ledley says there is no need to rush this introduction and interaction.

"If a relationship becomes very serious, like living together or re-marriage, yes, it totally makes sense that the ex and the new person should meet. Have this meeting away from kids, so just the adults can try to get off to as civil a start as possible. Be mindful of the purpose of the meeting -- it's not to establish a new friendship between ex-wife and new wife (but if that happens, great!). It is to establish a cordial-enough relationship, so children don't sense undue tension when everyone is together."