My Transformation to Womanhood

TKO.

2012-09-26T00:52:00.002-07:00

Ive decided im giving up on the idea of love & marriage. Not because anything has happened, but just so i can focus on whats really important in my life: my career and education. Its too much hassle, too cumbersome to want these things or to leave myself susceptible to someone elses whims. Also ima be honest, im really tired of being hurt and lied to and fed bs all in the name of love. I really am not bitter nor am i jaded, im just putting everything back on ice where its safest.

Alls fair in love and war, or so they say. But that really means nothing is fair, nothing will be given and there are no prisoners only some casualties. I dont think im ready for love or war. I just want to chill with someone and build on things one day. But today aint it. Its a done deal for these rogue emotions of mine and secretly wanting more. Ive got to get a grip on myself, ive got to remain focused on what really matters in my life right now. Besides, everything i had once thought was fruitful is now a dead end so thats it. Im not looking to date or anything with the opposite sex.

Its time to make myself an unstoppable force in regards to my profession and success. I dont have anymore time to spare on people who say they care and their actuons prove otherwise. Its cool and its no love lost. From now on im just doing me, and aint no way around that. Now i can finally relax and breathe easy lol......for now.

Its grind time! Lets get it!

-Tip

Beauty & the Beast

2012-09-17T20:45:00.001-07:00

So i was perusing YouTube earlier and i came across clips from my favorite Disney
movie, Beauty & the Beast. It is the most simple and exquisite love tale ever known. I caught myself singing along, as i definitely know all the words. Here is the clip i watched, and it definitely had me over here tearing up (SMH). Dance with me like this, #soiknowitsreal. :)

Tip

Love

2012-09-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

For years I've tried to actualize the whole notion of what i feel love really is. For those of you who know me, i don't need to preface my history of being a hopeless romantic. So without further ado, let me delve deeper into what i think love is and the concept of loving someone.

I absolutely HATE when people say they are in love with love, that means their minds aren't even grasping the entire thought of what loving someone and actually being in love really are. They may just love the fuzzy and warm feeling, the flutter of the heart when the person is near. In all actuality, this is LUST, its mere infatuation. In my own experiences with this matter, i can totally say that for me love is when i know the persons faults and their flaws, WAY after the fluttery feeling dies...and i still want to stay. I still want to wake up to them the next morning and i come back and i try to fight for us. To me that's real love.

So i guess i can make it more personal because of course, i cannot fully explicate without putting my own experiences in the mix. I will say that the last person i loved, it was something so deep and meaningful that i didn't know whether i was floating or flying or both. I loved everything about this man, the way his eyes twinkled in the morning and his slight dimple in his right cheek. It was more than just a euphoric feeling i got when i was near him or i thought of him, it was total happiness because i knew that he had my whole heart. And i feel that's what love really is, knowing those idiosyncrasies of a person, knowing what actually makes them tick. Yet you stay because you want to see the beautiful progression of their souls journey, you want to help them succeed, to make them better, to be their cheerleader. I loved him so deeply and genuinely, it was as natural as breathing to me.

Yet and still it can get deeper and deeper if you let it, when the honeymoon phase goes away what else is left? If this person lost it all and treated you differently would you still care for them? Would you pray for them? Yes. Love is blind, it causes us to do seemingly idiotic things, and i am more than guilty of this. When i feel it deep down in my heart i just want to fight for it, i want to prove this is something that is worth the pain. But i also feel that the truest test of love is being able to let them go. To prosper, to flourish, to love and be happiest.

"If you love something, set it free".......and what if it comes back to you? That means its meant to be right? Idk as far as my own life is concerned I'm still trying to learn my way through things, i do not have all the answers either but i do know what i feel and what i say are directly correlated. If i so happen to bestow upon you the notion that i am giving you my heart, cherish that. Keep it safe. Its law, written in stone. I do not give this out freely like candy, the most sacred part of me.

So in essence, true love is everything under the sun. Its a verb, a noun, an adjective, an adverb. Because you just DO, you just live it and breathe it and there is no fathomable way to escape its grasp if its real. I've spent many nights trying to purge my feelings and talk myself into or out of somethings concerning matters of the heart. But one thing i do know, that no matter what i said or what i did, my heart has never ever lied to me. Its always led me right back to where i started. I'm just praying God to order my steps and lead me in the right direction, in the meantime I'm following my heart as always. :)

Live in love!
Tip

Even if you forget me and everything you left behind: i never lied, i loved you in a place where there is no space and no time.

True Lies

2012-09-11T20:33:00.001-07:00

YEAH, I SAID I'D NEVER LEAVE, BUT YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER CHANGE....SO I GUESS WE BOTH LIED.

Tip

Peace Eternal

2012-08-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure how or why, but God has given me this everlasting peace.

Let me be the first to say, literally my world has fallen apart at the seams in a matter of a month. Nobody knows this, you wouldn't be able to really tell unless I've confided in you whats going on. But, i am at peace, i have JOY, i am hopeful that tomorrow will indeed be a better and brighter day. The only rationale i can give to this is my prayers are being answered, one by one, and I'm just waiting for the bigger and better.

Every setback is just a setup for something greater in your life.

That's what i keep in mind whenever i go through things, i don't have many tears, i think I've only cried twice since things have been happening. I just know that something awesome is about to happen in my life that will forever change me for the better. Personally, I'm someone who loves learning and growth and maturing, so when i started losing everything at once, i just got on my knees and prayed that the Lords will be done in my life. I know what I've been promised, i know that i will be more than alright. Its just me having the grace and class to handle every setback and obstacle with ease. I am not worried, i am not frightened. I am happy that i am here, i woke up this morning i have my right mind i am able to be a blessing to others.

Isn't that what life is really about anyway?

Maybe it was meant for me to not over think things anymore because i am trusting God to really do a work on my life and my heart and my goals. I'm doing my part by being more humble and open to criticism and just loving my friends and family. I just want to be successful in everything i put my hands to do. :] Pretty simple concept.

I just had to update with something because its always months before i post, my apologies. Remember to live and walk in love, always. The heart will never lie. Peace and blessings to you all!

Tip <3 p="p">

Passion of the Tip

2012-05-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

My friends think I'm the softest person they've ever known. And they are probably correct in this assertion, but i would rather say i exude passion. I'm as passionate as they come, i believe in the things that move my heart to feel and beat steadily in my chest. Also, i agree that i am mushy but that comes along with the territory at times. :) My point is that I'm taking chances and making changes in my life so that when the time is right i will be ready for love to find me.

The fact of the matter is that i AM very sensitive and i am very deep and i hold the dealings of my heart in high regard. Everything i put my heart into, i pour that with love and fervor and dedication as if my life depended on it. I've said all that to say this; my passions are what keeps me going. It keeps me alive and focused on the tasks at hand. I HAVE to be better and create a wonderful environment for the family i hope to have some day. Many feel its too soon for me to be thinking these things, but if not now then when? I know what i want and i know what i deserve as well as what i can obtain. These are seemingly all three different things, but to me they are one. I have put my heart and the depth of my being into my dreams and i know they will ultimately come to fruition because I'm working so hard to make them a reality.

I'm not worried about failing or obstacles, they come with the territory but i know the promise Gods made me and the passions i have flowing through my veins. Its too much to explain but i just want the best for my life and the life of all my friends and family. When i make it i want everyone to feel the glory of the success. It may not be monetary (which i feel is fleeting) but its just the ability to make everyone in my life comfortable with where they are and not have to worry about anything. That's all i really want, is a life stress and worry free and without pessimism.

As far as passion goes, i want to give my all into my personal life as well as i do professionally. I'm struggling with the idea of someone being 100% with me in their words and actions alike. I want to believe that no dreams have been sold and that i can share my passionate ways with someone but i think every time i meet someone i falter. I had to go back and read a previous post of mine to gather the courage to not retreat to my comfortable bubble. :) Life is sometimes uncomfortable, it takes you to a place where you will be forced to push and prod until you get to a higher level. I'd like to think that's specifically where i am at this exact moment. I'm moving forward, I'm cultivating myself into being who i want to be and its weird but I'm showing my passions more and more. My friends cant understand it but I'm okay with knowing I'm the softy of the bunch. That's just who i will always be, that's the role i have been handed.

I'm not sure what that means as far as my personal life but its made me more attuned to the possibilities in regards to my professionalism and career. I'm focused more now than ever, I'm ready for the challenges. Ive also got so many things on the horizon that i am excited about!! Life right now is more awesome than its ever been for that i am eternally grateful! :) You all have been a huge inspiration to my progress, i know that you have read my blog and the happenings of my life. Please leave comments and encouraging words and as always, be blessed on your own personal journey towards nirvana. :)

<3
Tip

The Only Child..

2012-04-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

When i was younger, i used to LOVE being an only child. My imagination was so vivid and my creativity was off the charts. I was super happy just living in my own little dream world, reading as many books as my mind could digest in a day. That was the life!!

Now.....i still love being an only child but im honestly at a crux. And i know this post is going to get me emotional so ill try and get through as much as i can. As many of you know, my parents are older. They had me when they were in a later stage of their lives and thats cool but sometimes i cant help but think about things.

Well today was one of those days, long and tiring. My father has been sick and today wasnt a great day for him health wise. Its draining to us, so i know its especially draining to him and i can tell from the facial expressions he makes. My mom is just super emotional, so she reacts first and me.......i'm just the thinker. I dont really like expressing anything without thinking it totally through first and today was no different.

While i was in my contemplative mode, i came across something that really bothered me and I'm going to share it. I don't know if i like being an only child anymore as much, sure i don't have anyone to "get on my nerves", but then again....i think...its just me out here. My mom was talking to me earlier today about how my dad really wants me to be with a nice guy and settle down. I know they mean well for me. Its hard out here in these dating streets though. But i know why they think this.....its just me.

And i feel so selfish for really wanting someone to be there for me and hold me because i know my parents wont live forever. I mean i really wish they could, and sure i have cousins and aunts and uncles, but.....its just me you see. So I've been thinking about this notion all day honestly, its like one hand i want to stop but the realist in me wont let it rest. It makes me that much more adamant about holding close to people and relationships and not giving up easily.

I guess that's why i feel so many things and i really don't want to close myself and my heart off to anything fruitful. My dad told me earlier that he just wants someone to be able to look after me before he goes and its really super hard for me to even write this as tears start pouring down my face but that's just what it is. And i cant do anything other than respect the way it has to be. I pray to God i don't settle and i can end up with a man half the man my dad is to my mom and I. Although i know my parents will hang in here for as long as they can, they are tough!! I have this own goal of mine to stop with the games & start nurturing something real.

Time is of the essence to me. I was raised to be a strong and independent young woman, and that's carried over into the here and now but its always nice to have someone who can help hold you up when ur world is crumbling. Today would've been a nice day for that but since its not I'm just going to write. I'm staying prayerful & patient, and i know everything is going to work out for the best in the end.

I would say more, but I'm getting too visibly upset so ill be back later with the rest.

<3
Tip.

Impress Me.

2012-04-20T07:13:00.002-07:00

It is a known fact since the beginning of time that men acquire nice things in order to impress lovely females all across the globe. While some may ascertain that they do this for themselves, us ladies really know the deal and some of us require a man to possess things in order to please us. I'm not going to lie when i say i love beautiful things, the aesthetics of it all attracts me and i can appreciate when someone is doing well for themselves. I think that's where my adoration stops.

Impress me.

The cars, clothes, jewelry, big houses and whatever else you can think of.....does not impress me. AT ALL. I used to think this made me weird, but now i realize it makes me different. I do, however, want a man to have those things he so desires for HIMSELF. But I'm the type of female i will believe in you, i will see the potential for the man you are meant to be and i will support you in your endeavors. Sometimes this annoys me because its like I'm willing to go through the fire with someone and oftentimes, they "make it" and forget about me. I don't have any qualms about this though, i wont change into being someone I'm not so i will continue to play the role of the supporter and cheerleader until someone comes along and will totally be appreciative of my efforts. This is just my personality, i don't want brownie points, or a pat on the back or even recognition. I don't like all that stuff anyway, just reciprocate. :)

Lets talk about what IS impressive (in my own opinion, of course). Brilliance, excellence, confidence and ambition. Hustle and hard work is impressive to me, also coupled with an intellectual being that can REALLY delve deeper than meets the eye. I will want to know more, i will always be attracted to those artsy smart types of guys that have oftentimes been labeled as the "weirdos", because i know their struggle. I love the way their mind works, effortlessly sorting out solutions to problems and if you can fearlessly conquer obstacles then i will be super impressed.

So as you can see, none of the material things make me want to jump to be with someone. I want to know you have a beautiful mind, heart and soul. I have to know that you are genuine in your speech and actions, that they line up and you are just a wonderful and pleasant individual. Games don't impress me, neither does someone who says one thing and does another. That actually turns me off completely.

Idk, i wish some guys would get it. Not all females are gold diggers and not all want to talk about sex sex sex and what kind of cars you drive and who you met the other day that was famous. SO. I really couldn't care less about any of that stuff or who you are being intimate with. Impress me with your wit. Show me you can think outside the box, allow me to support you and have my back as well.

Those are the things that matter the most to me. I'm not sure about anyone else when i say this, but it certainly takes the unconventional to make me swoon. Are you up for that task? :)

I'll return later with more!

Tip <3

Throwback Day

2012-04-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

SO I WROTE ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS ON OCT 15, 2006....I JUST IMPORTED IT FROM ANOTHER BLOG OF MINE I HAD. ENJOY MY THROWBACK! LOL

"I Wish I Was Like Jesus, But i'm a Human and This Hurts..."
Crystallized, even if momentarily in your iris, a beautiful Black dream woman smiled and before her arms even reached out, her eyes invited you to extend your own and embrace her, because you needed this moment more than she. Immediately, war began. Opposing wills fought within your mind, knowing one would be sacrificed at the victory of another, and although your allegiance had been pledged eight years to the first love, this second love happened the first day you saw her. And it tested your loyalty.

Walking past you in a thin white t shirt that meant she already loved you without knowing you well, like Jesus, then walking away after the initial smile stirred a chase that had not been wakened since you consummated your first vows of love to a true best friend. You jogged behind her, but would have ran if she moved faster. Just to kneel behind her bench and watch her mouth send you confirmations of her devotion to you before she knew you, like Jesus, was a love moment to be remembered. In that moment, she was your sister, friend, lover, wife. And you confessed the bluntest honesty of the moment that she didn’t believe at all.

Digging in the fluid mush of your thoughts for a way to entice her as cleverly as she deserved, you pulled a piece of poetry out and hoped she’d think it was as good as hers. She praised you, with pride in your ability as if she had made you, like Jesus. Her smile was more sincere than the sunshine. That day she loved you simply because you were born a Black man and you loved her because she loved you and at that very moment you needed that more than anything. She loved you.

In any midnight that you needed her, she was there as fast as a phone could ring, out of her sleep or study to love you. Her bed felt better than yours on nights you couldn’t sleep alone. She’d wrap her brown thigh around you for comfort and stroked your scalp and ego. You sat, stood, and slept in awe of how she could give so freely, like Jesus, and not expect anything from you. It scared you to love her because you might taint her possibility to smile the same way if you hurt her, because war always hurts someone and you were still leaving towards the familiar side, though you didn’t want to lose her hugs.

And oh, wasn’t her spirit calming and everything you needed every moment you needed her? Even more than the war, you feared her because the chambers of your mind were architecturally similar and she knew how to maneuver the maze and find you whenever you hid. Not only had she furnished a home in your heart, she discovered you mind and by God how afraid you were that she’d pack and move out to NY or wherever her love was needed again, abandoning you to live in desolation because in choosing her, the other side would retreat forever.

And then what would light the sky if she wasn’t smiling at you? There would be no memory of post-storm rainbows if she left. Fear seized you and comfort was victorious over what a complement she was to your world. So like you, and yet not in all the ways that mattered most.

Even though she was beautiful, everyday you knew her, even though she was what you wanted or needed or both or none, but felt alarmingly right, you closed a door in her face so that you couldn’t see her cry, like Jesus wept. She didn’t deserve that, but you didn’t deserve her, but what human truly deserves to be loved at all.

I’m not Jesus, nor do I claim to even near the awesome power of loving he had, but I take notes in loving from the one example on which I can depend That doesn’t mean I’ll suffer for you, but it does mean I believed loving you was right, no matter what.

True Friendship

2012-04-17T06:47:00.004-07:00

I want my lover to be my best friend.

Its taken me awhile to get to this juncture in life but i feel its essential to a relationship. Friendship is a necessary portion of actually liking someone and then ultimately loving someone. If i cant like you, then how can i see myself even considering dating you? Idk, i think in this microwave culture we live in, its humanly possible to rush things and skip over the most important part, which is friendship. Oftentimes, in doing so, when we rush past this things take a huge turn for the worst. That's not me being a cynic by the way, I'm just being a realist.

Whats love if we cant laugh together, cry together, smile together, pick on one another, have real fears, support one another and just talk??

That makes me really want to give my all to someone, when i know they are my friend and they will not judge me but will love me regardless of my flaws. As a woman, its great to know the man you are dating thinks you are beautiful, but its an even greater feeling knowing that man is your friend. When you know that no matter what happens, he's going to be in your corner rooting for you, its absolutely awesome.

So as this pertains to my dating life, i guess i too have rushed into things sometimes, taking for granted this necessary step called friendship. As one of my friends so eloquently stated, "the best things in life grow organically, you don't have to force it". How true is that statement?? I want to like who you are as a person, i want to know that you are as genuine as you say that you are before we decide to date. So many people skip over things and then try to make up for the deficit while they are in a relationship, and that only makes matters worse. Right now i can say i am genuinely trying to be friends, i have no ulterior motives for anyone. Sure, if i care then i will say so and my actions will justify what i feel, but in the meantime i just want to get to know you better as a person. I want to laugh and joke and just enjoy life and all it has to offer. And then if things naturally progress into something more, then i know it will be the right thing at the right time.

No pressure, no gimmicks, no games. Just you and me. That's the way it should always be. So if i happen to fall in love again, ill know that my lover is also my friend. :-D

<3
Tip

Take Care.

2012-04-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

[Rihanna] I know you've been hurt by someone else I can tell by the way you carry yourself. If you let me, here's what I'll do I'll take care of you (I'll take, I'll take, I'll take) I've loved and I've lost.
[Drake: verse 1] I've asked about you and they've told me things but my mind didn't change I still the feel the same what's a life with no fun, please don't be so ashamed I've had mine, you've had yours we both know, we know. They don't get you like I will my only wish is I die rea lcause that truth hurts, and those lies heal and you can't sleep thinking that he lies still so you cry still, tears all in the pillow case,big girls all get a little taste pushing me away so I give her space dealing with a heart that I didn't break. I'll be there for you, I will care for you I keep thinking you, just don't know try to run from that, say you're done with that on your face girl, it just don't show. When you're ready, just say you're ready when all the baggage just ain't as heavy and the parties over, just don't forget me we'll change the pace and we'll just go slow.You won't ever have to worry,you won't ever have to hide,you've seen all my mistakes,so look me in my eyes.

[Rihanna]'Cause if you let me, here's what I'll doI'll take care of you (I'll take, I'll take, I'll take)I've loved and i've lost.

[Drake: verse 2] It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if have to cause you don't say you love me to your friends when they ask you even though we both know that you do (you do). One time, been in love one time you and all your girls in the club one time all so convinced that you're following your heart cause your mind don't control what it does sometimes. We all have our nights though, don't be so ashamed I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know, we know. You hate being aloneyou ain't the only one you hate the fact that you bought the dream and they sold you one you love your friends but somebody shoulda told you somin',to save you..
[Rihanna]I know you've been hurt by someone elseI can tell by the way you carry yourselfif you let me, here's what I'll doI'll take care of you (I'll take, I'll take, I'll take)I've loved and I've lost.

Idk about yall, but i love this song. Only because its so real, the emotions that it evokes takes me to a real place where i can relate to everything that is being said. Especially the parts in red!! Been humming this all afternoon :)

Catch yall later!
Tip <3

Vulnerability

2012-04-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

Emotions make me vulnerable.

And i dont like that feeling, the drifting, helplessness, wandering, uncontrollable ache that happens when you step your feet across the emotion line. Its super easy for me to not really care, its actually an innate ability of mine to either care immensely or not at all, which is something im oftentimes not proud of. I've said all that to say the point at which we do become vulnerable to another is the point (personally speaking) where we start building those walls again. Its the defense mechanism, something feels too good so we pump the brakes in hopes of saving ourselves from whatever it is we are running from.

I've found that my defense mechanism is wall building, so i am quite versed on this topic lol. I will build a wall so fast and so high that NOBODY will ever be able to get over it, and it saddens me bc i realize the point where i start doing this. Thats the point where i need to care the most, where i fall the fastest and that ish is SO TERRIFYING im not even aware ive pumped my brakes until after the event is over. Happens in such a flash. I guess what i want is to ultimately just fall, i wanna drift endlessly and im not saying this is something i want today or tomorrow but thats a life wish for me. To just be able to have the ability to fall and not be scared of outcomes or other peoples walls or letting go....just being.

People say thats how its supposed to happen anyway when ur truly in love, i agree though. That feeling is so unexplanable, to me its nirvana. Sort of like a divine decree in your heart that at this moment you are choosing to forego all your brain knows as logic. Then you decide you're just going to float away on a sea of endless pleasure and pray to God the feeling never ends.

Which is absolutely awesome to me, I adore all that comes with love. And I relish in the challenge of being a better person for not only myself but the one I care about. I just don't want to be scared anymore, I don't want to feel faulty bc I am enjoying the conversation or presence of another individual. I want to create those moments in which I can truly live and thrive sans strife, stress and grief and be supported and cared about for who I truly am as a person.

When it's all said and done, we all have to be vulnerable to others at some point in time. Whether that be early on or later, it's bound to happen but I urge you not to fight it. I'll def try my best not to bc I know some of the best relationships come from two people who aren't afraid to take the same risk on one another. So I'm more than willing to take that risk and be completely open and honest in saying I'm okay with being scared that lets me know I'm alive. If I want more from someone that means I feel you are a risk worth taking. Not sure what this means as it pertains to my immediate future or plans for a beau but I'm open to endless possibilities in life.

I'm blessed, I'm happy. And that's that. :-)

Tip

2012

2012-01-23T07:25:00.000-08:00

Everybody that knows me very well or knew me even for a little while know that im softhearted. I love helping people and i love knowing the people i love are taken care of. Of course, along the way i have made my own mistakes in life that i am none too proud of but the difference between me and most people is i learn from them. I make a syllabus of my mistakes and i study them like my life depends on it. Change doesnt happen overnight, but i can feel a new me emerging, i can feel the areas where i was weakest gaining strength. I pray to the Lord every night for the strength and the courage to change my past ways and i also am thankful for his grace that overlooks everything bad ive ever done. No, im not a horrible person, im just a human.

And love is one area where i have always felt the most human, its my weakest strength. When its real, my whole heart bursts from the thought of it and i crave the glow. :) I promise there is no drug in heaven or earth that can compare to the feeling of love, a kind that unconditional and pure. Also on the same hand there is no worse feeling than love, the sting and hurt and pain and weight of it all. Its like a huge secret you can never share with anyone, like a million knives are thrust into your chest every second. I long for the strength to handle everything life throws my way with class and dignity, but sometimes i miss it. And i ask ya'll for forgiveness, just for myself, so i can keep on loving Tiffany :).

Its human nature to coddle and want to take care of someone, i've found thats how i show my feelings. I thrive in my ability to nurture, sans expectations, just giving all of my self in everything that i put my hand to do and mind to think. This amount of vulnerability does leave me pretty open, more often than not, but i wouldnt trade it for the world. This is what i was born to do. Sure i love working towards the goals i have set for myself and making moves to attain them, but deep down i need more. I'm not saying i am or i am not ready for a mate but that is surely something i do want in my life. Everything is better when u have somebody that will hold u up in the rough times and make light of the better times. Or maybe thats just me being the hopeless romantic i have always been :D

I still got hope, i still got faith and i will still try and be as patient as possible until the right person for me comes along. I'm not jaded nor am i bitter, im actually excited about the endeavors im embarking on, the new paths my life is growing into and also i am proud of the person i am becoming. Growth is a beautiful thing! I guess i just wanted to write something because its been awhile and my thoughts have been swirling in my head but i feel super blessed and im the happiest ive ever been!!

This year will and has already been nothing but pure awesomeness!! :D I'm ready for whatever comes next!!

<3
Tip

The Year of the Gentleman.

2011-08-31T16:48:00.001-07:00

Oftentimes, I've heard many of my female peers talking about men and how there are a shortage of "good men" in the world. And I'm not going to lie, I too have said the same on occasion. While some of this stems from pure frustration, a minuscule part is true. And that part i feel is so infinitesimal that we blow the percentage of actual "good men" out the water.

The truth is that there is an overabundance of gentlemen on this earth. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and nationalities. They open doors and genuinely listen and pay on dates and pull out chairs and actually want to court a young lady without the expectancy of sex hovering. I've come across some pure fakes, but the minute I try and turn my back on what I know for certain, a gentleman always shows up. He won't be flashy or super charming or a ladies man by societal standards, but he will provide for you, and love you, and make you smile when you just need a little pick me up. That to me matters more than anything and is worth its weight in pure gold.

I think sometimes ladies go looking in all the wrong places and end up with trash. Don't be surprised if you go to a junkyard and end up with junk. It's all about the places in which you surround yourself that will determine the caliber of man you attract. But if you definitely feel like this Is the year to come into contact with a nice young man who will respect your mind body and soul then do things to attract said man.

Hang out at art galleries, and church events, and learn yourself, expand your mind and I can guarantee a gentleman will take notice of you.

I guess in my own experiences, its taken a lot for me to realize all men arent created equal and what I had placed importance on is not important futuristically speaking. Sometimes it takes everything you once knew to crumble in order to realize life is too short to waste it on ppl that don't cherish you. So to the gentleman, this is your year, I salute you, and applaud you for being patient and deserving. Keep doing what you have been doing, I promise I've noticed. :-)

I'll make a revision to the statement that "nice guys finish last", and say "nice guys always finish strong to the end."

I see you! :-)

<3 Tip

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

The Raindrops.

2011-07-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

June 24, 2011 around 10am....my life was forever changed.

And not to dwell on that and what happened that morning but it ultimately changed me and my thought processes. I'm not saying i was out here being wild and carefree and shunning any responsibility...but i will say that i didnt enjoy the simpler things in life. I didnt know what it really meant to "live each day as your last", i was too busy worrying about what tomorrow would bring. I maybe didnt tell everyone i loved how much i really loved them for fear of sounding like a "lame" or putting my pride in the way and saying "im sorry, i messed up...please forgive me." But thats the beauty of life and of second chances, if God so happens to grant you one then you will understand where i am coming from when i say this....DANCE OUTSIDE IN THOSE RAINDROPS. Take the time to smell those roses, hug your kids, smile with strangers, stop speeding and savor the sunshine...all of those things really do matter to me now. I cant promise in the bustle of life i wont put some of these fresh insights on the back burner, but i am trying to commit to memory as much as possible so if anything were to happen to me i know my time spent here will have been worth it. Its also funny how you never realize how much of an impact you may have on someone until you have gone through something and the people who you never expected were there for you the most, cheering and praying and waiting and watching. I can say God has sincerely blessed me. I have no other person to thank for where i am but Him and now that i have begun my quest to make the most out of my life i know theres no limit to where im going.

To all that have been there for me and who were there for me when i went thru my tough times, i appreciate you, i love you. Even if i never told you, or you never felt it, i am thankful for calling you my friend and for having someone in my life as great as you. God broke the mold when he made some of my friends and Hes placed me in the company of some of the most amazing people in the world. Words cannot express how grateful i am to have you here sharing these special moments with me! :)

This topic stuck with me throughout all of what i have recently gone thru, and a few days ago my cousin and I encountered a horrible thunderstorm. I'm talking wind and torrential rain, thunder and lightning. Naturally, we would NOT be out traveling in this storm, but after looking online at the track of the storms, i realized the majority of the night would be mostly rain so i suggested we leave the establishment we were in. If anyone knows me well, i have a complex about being out with no umbrella in lots of rain, because i do not want to mess up my hair and look like Simba. (smile) But on this day, i suggested we take off our shoes and run to our cars, now she gave me the side eye of course but she obliged and we took off with our belongings......needless to say I HAD A BALL. Never have i danced in the rain before, barefoot...just enjoying life like nothing else mattered. Sure, i was soaked and my hair was a mess, but at the time i didnt care what was happening other than the immense joy i was feeling doing something i havent done since adolescence.

I said all that to say, life is not uber complicated, we as humans tend to make things more important than they are. We worry too much, and say stuff we dont mean and wish we could say things we feel we cant say. We ignore the people who love us the most and we lavish the people who could care less about us. I urge you all to take my lesson i learned without the pain when i say....enjoy this life. Dont fret about tomorrow or the next day, just pray to God you get another chance to make things right. :) I love you guys and gals, keep your heads up and lets make this count!!

<3
Tip.

The Quest

2011-04-29T09:43:00.001-07:00

Kings. Queens. Princes. Princesses. Knights in shining armor. Lords. Ladies.

All of the elements little girls grew up on to cultivate their own royal camelot. I know I fell prey to the fairytale, that one day a handsome young prince would come and fend for my love and sweep me away into total happiness.....well then I lived a little lol and I snapped to reality super quick.

There are no princes and princesses in real life (aside from the REAL ones lol of course) and no one is going to come and sweep every fair maiden to a happy ending. Life happens. The problem with that story is not that it conjures images of whimsical romance, but that its unrealistic in its whole truth. People aren't perfect, and never will be but we expect them to not have human frailties. We want to never be disappointed or angry or hurt, and when we are we just do not know how to deal and maybe throw away something potentially great. I'm the first to admit I'm as human as it gets, and yeah I've sabotaged a few things, but the fact is I'm learning from every great thing I did and every mistake I ever made.

I can go on record and say I was a bit naive as a younger child, all I did was read so I had this idea firmly implanted in my mind that these things were going to undoubtedly happen to me. And when they didn't I was crushed, like any other female who believes in some man made BS to appease her wanting to be happily in love.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I shouldn't have even been trying to chase down a dream anyway. Love knows my number and knows where I live so what I have to focus on the most is my happiness. Life will never be 100% bad, nor will it be 100% good, but I will say it molds you and teaches you that some things you want really bad may not be the things you need. And those things you need will be far better than those you set out on a quest to get.:)

I will be perfectly honest and say yeah I still have that little inner corner of hope left in me that ill get a knight to sweep me away.(blame it on me being a hopeless romantic) But on that same token I also realize I have to want to be swept, and the moral is that I've got to work on my own self if that's what I want the most. Who knows what will happen, that's the ultimate beauty of life, we just don't know and we can create (with Gods divine direction) our own destinies.

So please excuse me as I indulge in my total happiness, I may as well be Mrs. Stevie Wonder right now, b/c I really ain't looking at yall. Life has proven to be so short, I don't want to spend it catering to chasing some mythical love.....and miss out on being happy in the process. I could tell you its nothing personal, but indeed it is.....I'm doing me.:-) yippieeeee lol

:-*

Tip

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

America-You're Fired.

2011-04-28T02:21:00.001-07:00

First, let me start by stating that Donald Trump is indeed the most brilliant idiot the world has ever seen. He has singlehandedly placed a spark of doubt in 45% of Republicans (and 25% of Americans) minds that somehow, in some way, President Obama isn't American.

Nevermind the fact that almost every employer in the nation provides thorough background checks on its applicants. Nevermind the fact that an individual that has served on the Senate prior to his bid as President had to provide proof of legitimacy. Nevermind the fact that its NONE OF OUR BUSINESS to question where a person was born 3 years into doing a job....we should've harped on this mess BEFORE Pres. Obama took his senate seat. They vetted him. And for those of you who don't fully grasp what that means, try getting a federal job in the SBI, CIA, FBI OR NSA...your whole life will be laid out for all to see, they will know who your "man's and nem" are, who you have worked for, every personality you ever had is scrutinized. So if they do that for reg Joes such as you and I.....then its safe to say they did that for him. But you want to know why we as Americans still have that inkling of doubt that we "can't put our finger on"??

It's because slavery and racism is still alive and "well" here in America.

Never in the history of a sitting President (235 yrs BTW) have we ever asked for any form of ID. That blows my mind how blatantly obvious this has gotten to the fact that......."we don't believe you Mr black man...you need more people...". It burns me inside to know that its the elected officials WE CHOSE to assist in running this country that are also the most "naive". How could they really expect someone with such decorated collegiate credentials to not even do his own homework before showing up to class?

Come on now people. This is supreme idiocy, and to those 25% that fed into it, shame on you dummy. The thing about Trump is he is finally revealing his character, well to me anyway, about how he really feels about "the blacks".....he wishes we were gone. I would question his IQ, but then that would imply I really cared when I don't. I have heard all too often about small incidents where random people, some of who I know and some of who I don't know, have been targets of racism. But its not pointing the finger at anyone, just letting you all know the deal, there are still a lot of no good people out there that are passing off their true feelings towards you as genuine concern. More like harbored disdain for everything you may stand for. And honestly, this isn't even directed towards any particular color of people, its prevalent in any race right now. We claim to be so far removed from judging people by the color of their skin and not the content of their character but we really aren't. Nothing has changed but the date really, and its sickening to know this. The truth of the matter is not everyone will jump on the bandwagon, but that doesn't mean the people on have to jump off. Ridiculous.

Just because I may talk like I have some sense and articulate myself, doesn't make me fraudulent. Just because I may dress in a manner that doesn't demean myself or look "stereotypical", that doesn't make me less than. Just because I may not say anything at the exact point in time, doesn't mean I haven't observed. This is utterly ridiculous, and its way out of hand and out of line. America, you're fired. And Trump, you're fired. Even if you were the only presidential candidate on the ballot in 2012, I still wouldn't vote for you.

America, wake the heck up. Be smart, and think progressively. There are far more important things at work than some stupid birther claims, or proving an education or etc etc.....nothing needs to be proven. The real questions we need to focus on is where are these high gas prices coming from, how do we drop the unemployment rate, let's curb spending to cut back on the deficit, healthcare reforms, and so on....

Yes, Trump may indeed be the finest example of an ignoramous right now. But so are 25% of you...and I believe that number is much higher. Get your lives together and take the wool off your eyes.

Tip.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Role Reversal

2011-04-15T09:03:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've been eavesdropping on certain conversations, whether that be on FB or offline, or even on some random blogsites I so happen to frequent. There is a random epidemic thats surging where women are trading in our sweet ways for the roles of men. Okay...wait. Why is this?? I couldn't for the life of me even figure this one out but I have a few theories....

YOU'VE BEEN HURT.
Yes, we all may know the sting of heartbreak, the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and the incessant need to want and love the one person you can't have. But at the same time, we must also know the pain won't last, our hearts will heal and we will be able to love again and possibly stronger than before. It's a given fact that basic men will take what you give and run with it, but that doesn't mean you harden the one thing God blessed us with to feel how He feels for us. Love is a gift, cherish it always.

YOU FEEL JUSTIFIED.
Let me be the first to say that no man wants a woman who acts like a man. Okay its cool if you know all the stats of the superbowl and determined that you picked the perfect bracket this season...the point is are you soft and feminine? A real man wants something complimentary, if he wanted another homeboy I'm sure Ray Ray and Pookie nem could scoop him for an all guys nite. What I'm saying is this, don't miss out on being a woman, something you should most definitely be proud of. We rock!!! ;-)

YOU DON'T "DO" EMOTIONS.
Listen up, I have a story to tell....I once was that girl. The one who didn't do emotions and could "hang with the fellas"....but I had to realize real quickfast that nobody wants a closed off, bitter, super naiive and extra assertive (around men) female. I had to change that mentality, for the better of course. Emotions are what drives us women, we can spot and detect bs from a mile away and we are blessed to show how much we care with tears. So who said it is accepted for us to not want to feel? To talk and curse in all kinds of random slang?? Cmon now, I know you know better than that. I can't even begin to tell you the high levels of ratchetness I have seen coming from women lately...IN PUBLIC. What you do in your private time is another thing, but please spare me the public embarrassment. You look like a fool.

MEN DO IT.
Well guess what, you aren't a man. It is a given fact that a woman will never be able to play the game of life like a man so please stop trying. You look very idiotic, and people are laughing at you (myself included). Not to be crass or anything, but a woman wasn't created with the idea to share her body with tons of people and not feel any emotions. Men do that. Of course we can lie to ourselves and say "I'm a pimp", "I don't feel anything I just do me"...no...you are lying. Even the coldest woman has feelings. Quit playing yourself and just be real, we won't judge you I promise. But to say you can behave and run around like a man is just......ugh. LOL

To those who know me truly, I'm one of the most down to earth chicks on the planet. If there's something to talk about, I love to place my input, whether that be baseball or the disaster in Chernobyl. But that's just my love for knowledge, I am on a quest to know more. That doesn't stop or hinder me from being a Lady, and neither should it stop you. I'm at the point in my life where the tomboy part of me is over and done with, just a lil under 3 years until I'm 30 and its got me really thinking. Some of the things we do and things we say are only a direct reflection of our hurt and anger towards people in our past. Why give someone that much power over you still?? Just let it go and love the skin you are in. I'm in love with myself and I relish the fact that I'm a woman, it gives me the greatest pleasure that God saw fit to equip me with all this womanly charm.

And no offense to any men out there reading this, but you have your own place in life, as our providers. I just feel like things need to change, time is up for nobody my age saying anything about how things are going. More responsibility should be placed on both parties so that we can ultimately become the beautiful people we were intended to become. But all this role reversal crap has to end. NOW. Sister, men aren't checking for the fact you "don't need them", who wants that?? And men, please remain gentlemen at all times, if you want a lady then act like a gentleman. Sorry if I busted anyone's bubbles today, well...actually I take that back. Let's just start to mend things and get back on the right track again....

I'll be back with more later! Leave your thoughts and questions!

Tip <3

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Time.

2011-04-10T22:55:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I've published anything for anyone to read, and I'm not exactly sure where I want to even begin. I've had a few thoughts floating through my mind about the wonders of life and the stress tests that God administers to us. He just wants to know if we will be able to handle the blessings that will come our way. Lately, its been one test after another for me but I feel happy in knowing I'm getting the lesson. Life is something we shouldn't take for granted and also love and friendship as well. All who know me well know I'm big on love and showing someone special how I feel about them. That still hasn't changed but I start to question if complete vulnerability is good or not? My mind wrestles with this thought at times but ultimately I've had to conclude that I'm human and everything I feel and have experienced is only making me into a better Tiffany. Every mistake, joy, hurt, breakthrough and for every "almost", I'm getting to be the person God made me to be. I won't say I'm the epitome of perfection bit I do pride myself on class, I guess that's the one thing I can always take with me and control no matter what happens. So I've written all this that has been in my brain out and for most this little tirade of mine won't even make sense, but in order for me to allow more thoughts and ideas in I had to have verbal diarrhea for a second. In short, I may have been downtrodden for awhile and I had my moment but to all who doubted or feared....don't worry I'm back and I'm running better than ever.;-) Tiffany 3.0 is in full effect, I'm on a shopping spree for whatever is in store! Have a blessed day ppl, I'm sure ill be back with more cohesiveness soon :)

Tip.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

The Curious Case of the Brain & Heart.

2011-02-17T11:07:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a brain that was married to a heart in perfect harmony. They experienced everything together, what one did or felt, so did he other. They were so in sync their peers often questioned the validity and sincerity of their union. Where one went, so did the other, there were no secrets. Until one day the heart started feeling something different about brain, he didn't get some of the things that made her jump and while she loved him she knew it was time for a change. Of course brain didn't like this, he prided himself on being the center of rationalization, everything had to make perfect sense and some "feeling" wasn't going to rule him. And so goes the brain and the heart, while both married to one another for life, their differing views are tearing them apart. Heart makes sense of the things brain absolutely cannot, although she also totally understands how he feels. She loves him nonetheless, and hopes that one day he too can realize and feel everything that she feels.......their story is to be continued...

How many of us have his same "war" going on within the marriage of our hearts and brains? I'm a very rational person, and in the past its been my pride and joy to make sense of things that didn't make sense. But now, I feel an overwhelming shift in my heart...she's feeling things I never could've even fathomed in my wired brain. My all knowing brain just cant keep up with the paces my heart takes and maneuvers with ease. Life makes sense in my heart, I know what love and the pursuit of happiness really mean in my heart. And while my brain is actually playing catch up to the things my heart has already figured out, I'm more than certain they will have a happy marriage again once the wavelengths are synced again.

I'm not sure if many people even feel the same way I do but honestly I wouldn't even care if no one did. I'm a totally unique person, and I've come to my own conclusions that I must follow my heart in order to be perfectly happy. While in my brain I want to make excuses and try to thwart my own actions that I feel may cause demise, I know my heart also has my best interest. And before u get all scriptural, I do know the Bible warns against the heart. It loves to love, and without proper guidance from our brains how are we to even function? Well, again I say my heart/brain union is not in dysfunction so I have no worries that what my heart feels my brain already knows and will most definitely follow suit. All of the things in life that have made me happiest are awaiting me and all I have to do is reach out and grasp them in the palm of my hand. The world is mine for the taking....I'm happy I'm following my heart, she cannot lie even when my brain makes up different conspiracy theories. That's why I love her, and ill stay true to the secrets she has told me and is telling me...

I hope everyone takes into consideration the things your heart is telling you to do. Follow its instructions and don't put so much emphasis on controlling with your brains. Life will be so much sweeter in the end if u do this :-) no regrets.

Love always,
Tip <3

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

The Little Things.

2011-01-30T10:39:00.001-08:00

This past week has been a hectic and emotional week for me, as I experienced an unexpected loss of a female I thought of like my sister. I'm not here to have a pity party for myself but I will say her legacy will forever live on in my heart and the kind words she shared with me still resonate within my soul. I'll forever miss Ms. Candis Ricks, and I believe her passing has served a greater purpose for her closest friends, family and associates.

I've learned to realize that the most simple things are what matters the most in this life. It's not extreme extravagance that will make ones heart flutter but the thoughtfulness, the appreciation...that's what we as humans thrive upon. I can't live without those most sincere acts of love, I mean you can tell me all day how much you love me but is rather it be shown...with your time and your care. I guess this is what my life has been lacking.

I was going through life just living not thinking about anything but I had to come to the stark realization that....no one lives forever and every moment must be cherished as your last. If God can take someone so sweet and kind and loving as Candis then he can call anybody's number as he sees fit. I've realized this isn't me, I've got to do better.

To my family, my second family, my friends and even my enemies...i apologize if I have taken any of our moments for granted. I love you all from the pits and deepest recesses of my heart and it sincerely makes my eyes well with tears writing this. I live a blessed life, to know and interact with some of the most amazing people on the face of this earth. I'm so grateful that God has allowed me to go through these lessons to arrive at this point where I can say I'm going to live each day as my last. The past hurts and pains no longer matter, just today and if I can live to be more like Christ in this 24hr time frame.

I will never forget the wisdom I have learned from my friend Candis while she was alive and the promises I made her I will uphold. To everyone that reads this please take nothing for granted, live every moment as if it is your last. So when the time comes for you to meet our Maker, you will be satisfied and He will be pleased with our lifestyle journey.

I just know my friend is back in her rightful place, walking amongst the angels....she will truly be missed.

I love you all!!! Peace and many blessings...

Tip <3

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

2010 Memoirs...

2010-12-31T15:13:00.001-08:00

Seeing as how today is the last day of 2010,I just had to put my feelings down in the written form. Overall, this has been the worst year for me in terms of losses. I've lost a child, several friends and myself this year. I've been sick, and sad and tired and downtrodden to the point where I didn't know if I could really make it. I've been so angry and hurt and disappointed with myself no words could ever describe.

But I have been blessed.

Despite everything I've had happen to me this year, the gains and the losses, I've been so eternally blessed. God has shown me I'm stronger than I could have ever imagined and I'm gaining more wisdom with every passing day. Sure I've had my share of ups and downs in 2010, but that hasn't deterred me from my goals.

I'm alive and well and I have so much to be thankful for at this moment. Things may not be how I conceived them in my mind but I know I will be alright.

My only prayer for 2011 is that my friends and family remain safe blessed happy and healthy. In my own life, I am having more faith in the promises Gods made me.2011 will be better than 2010,I guess I just had to go through the fire in order to be forged as pure gold.

Everyone be safe and blessed and Happy New Year to you all!!!!!

Tip

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

TKO

2010-12-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

They say "Alls fair in love and war", but have you really stopped to think what everybody was fighting for? Whats the cause of the dissent, does it just pop out of nowhere or has it been simmering beneath the surface of life, waiting for some uncontrollable force to happen. I'm unsure of the answer but i do know i fight for what i believe in.

Dont tell anyone this but im more of a lover than a natural born fighter, i'd rather share hugs and kisses than punches and unkind words, thats just my nature as a human being. While some people would rather show their innermost feelings with jabs or punches, i'm lingering in the corner waiting and lurking. I assess my battles carefully and i will never engage in a battle im not ready for. But sometimes i need war. I need war to maintain the sanity of my mind and soul, if i never ever fight for anything i love or want badly then how can i ever be joyous with a victory? To fight is to have an ever increasing faith in the outcome of the battle, in realizing that either way win lose or draw things are going to shape up to be in your favor just because you threw your hat in the ring.

To some of you this jabber wont make sense but to me it fits perfectly. I'm never going to lay down and give up on things i believe in, and that includes myself, God, my family, my friends and love. All of those entertwine to create the pure essence of me so without one or the other i would surely crumble. I WONT fail at this, and thats not just me hyping myself up for the battle but rather preparing myself for the victory. Nothing good comes without a struggle and nothing sweet comes without sacrifice. I love my ability to show how i feel and that even though my enemies may try and shake me or create chaos in my heart i know where i stand. I'm so sure that when i engage myself this is something thats going to be even greater in the end than i could have ever imagined in the beginning.

Of course God fights my battles, but i suit up in armor anytime i need Him to help me win, He's my personal bodyguard of sorts, always there watching over me and helping lead me to victory. These past couple of days ive been sort of stuck in the mire, unable to realize that all i need to do is lift my head and fight, and trust and believe, and everything will be alright. I challenge everyone today to think about those areas in our lives where we needed to implement a little more "push" and apply as necessary. I know i am.

And to a special someone...know that i'll never stop fighting for you. <3

"“Fight one more round. When your feet are so tired that you have to shuffle back to the center of the ring, fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish that your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round — remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."-James J. Corbett

The Great Migration.

2010-11-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

On Nov 14th, 2010 I made one of the hugest moves ever in life....I relocated to a new job in a totally new city, away from close family and friends. You'd think I wouldve had the most support and respect for finally allowing myself to get out of the "rat race" and finally follow my dreams. Well, in all actuality, my move has been anything but a smooth transition.

I've found out that some of the "closest" friends and associates of mine aren't even worthy of being called such and that my immediate family is less than supportive. Basically, everyone is happiest when you are unhappy, but when you push yourself to be better that's when you are labeled a "rebel" or "childish" even. Its appalling to even realize some of these people I've known my whole life don't even want to help me or see me succeed.

And this has become my motivation. I'm not going to even dwell on what's been said or what's being said or who doesn't like my decision. What I do demand is the respect that I deserve as an adult, and with that being said if you find yourself on the flipside of my friendship then you know why. Maya Angelou was right when she said, "whenever someone shows you who they are, believe them". Its sad that its taken me almost 700 miles to figure out who has my back and who doesn't.

Its cool though because not only will I make my wildest dreams come true but ill do and be everything you have said I will never be or never do. I'm sorry some people have nothing better to do with their lives than talk about me or what I'm doing, and I guess I must be doing something right.

The fact of the matter is I'm proud of myself, I'm happy with my choices in life and I'm still blessed despite anything that's going on around me. The great thing about God is that he knows my heart and my intentions so there's nothing I have to explain to him and there's nothing I have to make apologies for.

Regardless, my life will be lived with no regrets, and as someone in orbit with my life there are only two options at this point: either love me, or leave me alone.

*drops mic*
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Running Back to You..

2010-10-25T01:42:00.001-07:00

rtsp://v8.cache4.c.youtube.com/CjYLENy73wIaLQm1O6LHo3lq1hMYESARFEIJbXYtZ29vZ2xlSARSBXdhdGNoYJSKgPmxrubgTAw=/0/0/0/video.3gp

I stumbled upon this video tonight of one of my favorite gospel songs ever and it really made me reflect upon some things. Of course I love music but its deeper than that, this song really spoke to my soul tonight, I could feel the hot tears falling down my cheeks. I'm not the most religious person in the world by any means outwardly, but I know the relationship I have with God. I'm so very thankful to even be in this position in life because I'm happy, healthy and more blessed than ever. But I guess I also feel this bittersweet tingling because I know I've turned my back on God on numerous occassions. I've been selfish and only prayed when I needed a surefire blessing or whenever I had some spare moments. I haven't been attending church as regularly as I would like and I'm going to publically repent for that and vow to do better. What good is life if I don't have God by my side as well as my wonderful host of friends and family? This world means nothing without our Heavenly Father and I know now that's what I have been missing. For so long have I gotten caught up in various extracurriculars that I lost sight and time for God and not I'm not being extra deep I just know I can't do anything on my own. I hope you all have the time to enjoy this video as it warmed my soul thoroughly, please take the time out to give thanks and praise at every spare moment. God is worth it!! :-) love you all and have an excellent start to your workweek!!

<3
Tip
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry