Poets Corner

2022-01-03T00:12:00.000-08:00

I love you. Daring my dreams to connect with you as we sleep in differing corners of the universe. Desiring the nearness of you. Dreaming of one day becoming "one" with you. You are my focus. My sunrise and my sunset. I dare you to dream of me and see if our dreams are on "one" accord. Quiero hacerlo contigo. Quiero ser lo que deseen tus suenos y cada vez mas. Do not be afraid. Touch me. I am real. Love me. I am ready. Walk in life with me. I de-wed. Before I lay my head down to sleep, I pray that these words find thee. I pray with a soften heart that you will be open to the beautiful melodic love story of what God has authored. Esperare aqui sin pena con pura alegria para vengas y camines esta vida conmiga por siempre jamas.

Embracing A Healed Heart

2021-12-25T23:13:00.000-08:00

I did not have a single word to loan; in fact, my heart, buried in hurt, had no energy to center. Dormant, dark, and desolate thoughts on repeat (why oh why) did I feel the way I did. Something was missing within. A cunning thief, during the cusp of midnight, took my heart with no regard of helping me heal. Lying face up in bed, secluded from the rest of the world, ashamed and drifting away in sorrow because in my heart lived my ego, my happiness, my dreams, and my visions. It was where I stored our future wedding day. Every action of proving my worth was manifested through time, unconditional love and sacrifice. But the sacrifice was compromised by someone's inability to embrace a healed heart. Instead of accepting its proclaimed richness, my heart was placed on a string like a yo-yo. Expending so much energy for her, my heart, buried in hurt, had no energy to center. Why was it so hard for her to embrace a healed heart?

In Love...

2018-03-17T22:14:00.001-07:00

No story was bigger than the hurt that was buried deep inside of heart; An avalanche of emotions tearing my world apart. Layer by Layer; Piece by Piece; A part of me died with our favorite love song on repeat. My heart was in mourning; Love does not taste, feel, smell, touch and hear my senses to quench what was needed; Instead, my mirrored reflection of my heart shows a man broken with his heart on his sleeve bleeding. I was born into this world loved; I prayed in love; I walked in love; I spoke truthfulness in love; All I wanted was to be loved...faithfully. Too emotional to give up; I fell to my knees; Sought God's face and yelled out, But...But...But God I love her. Surrounding sounds were muted; My arms lifted; God's spirit fulfilled unto me saying...Love ME more...My unchanging hand never wavers and never places worry upon you. Does she fulfill this purpose? My face met my open palms; Like a baby I wept in HIS arms; HE reminded me that no matter the circumstance, he would protect me cause I am HIS son. A drunkard in love crying while screaming at the top of lungs...It hurts Lord. I confessed I thought LOVE found me the one. Through sacrifice; Through effort; My love stood. No more running. No more games. No more manipulating my heart. Through faith; Through prayer; Through fasting; Through God's abounding love... Cheers to the Rebirth of my Heart.

2018-02-11T21:48:00.000-08:00

No noise heard. Only the thumping sound of my heart hurt and wounded. Wounded by love. Love, once hoped and prayed for, would turn its back on me. Almost as one swimming in the dark, destination blinded by the lack of... Numb from it all. Vowed to give my best. The best I surrender upon you. I loved hard, faithfully and sincere. Is genuine love not enough?? Your doors were opened and held wide. I kissed you with purpose and sincerity. I held your hand with my chest out. The "S" on my chest represented Super. I was "S"uper in love with you. Never wanting to let you go. My dreams were your reality. Your dreams were mines to make true. Regardless of the storms that made there way into our lives, I vowed to never walk away. True love endures. Its sharpens. Its debates. It thrives. It continues...Beyond the course. So I prayed. And. Prayed again and again. The noise began to decrease the more I prayed. As much as I needed to hear your voice, the one person who loves me truly made their voice heard. Complete silence. Only to hear the thumping sound of my heart...healing.

2017-12-28T23:00:00.001-08:00

Good-bye my love said after each exhale ridding of the pain co-existing inside. I had to see you one last time. Capture your smile, your beautiful eyes that I adored looking into mine. Take my hand and tell me that you will ok. I am a man but I have to cry OUT to GOD to take this pain away. Baby, are you sure leaving me is the best thing to do. We both made mistakes but I willing to forgive if you are willing to forgive too. I know your the one. I knew it from the very start. Two years later, still in love, you began drifting apart. My hand, my heart and my love are all aligned for love, for us, for-ever. But you needed space, you said it was for the better. More space, less time to dream, room for the enemy to seek, kill and destroy. What I thought was real became a defected toy. I sought after you with pure might and purpose. Losing you I could not fathom. Rather fight than not. You said not. You said don't wait. You need to do you. While my love was just in bloom. Now, I am stewing in my emotions... Wanting one last cry...

?

2017-12-28T22:42:00.004-08:00

Time was what was necessary. Dreams of holy matrimony engaged my thoughts. That day kissing my bride under the cherry moon, etched carefully across my heart,rehearsed and photographed, produced a blank photo. I was in love with your "dont do's" never contemplating any less but giving you every ounce of my being. Cherishing every breath you took. Loving you into tomorrow's sun; breathing life into your spirit one scripture, one prayer at a time. I could not fathom why the photo remained blank just when the "I do" was silently manifested. I needed to see your smile in the photo. My mind settles with yes, but my heart sirens no. Cold feet? No. Hardened heart? No. YOU turned stone cold. Like love served you an eviction notice. All I wanted was your everything. I wanted to be your everything...365 days every year. I did not care who was your first kiss; I wanted to be your last. Your eyes told no truths. So what are we doing?

2017-04-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

I caught feelings while daydreaming unto your eyes. So beautiful to gaze; more delicate than a pink rose blooming on Easter Sunday. My eyes gazing with intent. Desiring to place kisses where my love desires to live. The unspoken passion to carry you into tomorrow happy has me presently romancing your entire being. Wanting you here, right now, between my heart and my loving arms, today means nothing if my love for you cannot display its meaning upon you. Wine and Us. Two loving souls connecting beyond the hemisphere finding our faults under the stars becoming celebrities within. Each word spoken s'mores my heart, cries my tears, by the fireplace we lay creating a rendition of how love making is done through a kiss. How beautiful you are. How each breath you take synchronizes with every sentence I create. Smile baby. Smile. Smile while I am kissing you. Laugh as I tickle you. Dream of me marrying you. Finally realized that I was not crazy at all for saying I-knew-you-were-the-one the very first day I saw you. God created you for me. God sent you to me to fulfill your dreams through me. So S-M-I-L-E. Love has taken its position...ready, set, and go.

2017-03-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew perfect. But I do not think perfect would ever want to be friends. I have a heart that has been broken. I have eyes that have seen un-truths. I have walked and turned my head away from perfect; leaving perfect with a permanent scar. No words could ever convince perfect to stay. I abused her with my actions; lied with my right hand up; perfect slept with the enemy...a reflection of imperfectness no mirror could reflect. Under a rock without hope, I wept, hoping to find a way. Broken and un-guarded, with only minutes to despair, I reverted back to old ways of thinking pushing me further into the abyss. Charting time and energy, not caring for the repercussions of my repetitious acts of selfishness. Forgive me. Piece by piece of my heart, mind and spirit began shredding away in a darkened place. Dry mouthed, no sense of time nor direction, my echoed sobs, intense tearing of eyes, and abandoned dreams collapsed me to my knees. There, in an instant, there I watched a part of me seek a new destination without my permission; Oh, what do I do now? My jig-saw puzzled life is only asking perfect to befriend me once the pieces of my heart become whole. Until then...

On the Cusp of Midnight

2017-02-18T23:30:00.001-08:00

Before the midnight hour my mind will produce run-on sentences and fragmented visions describing how and why LOVE is important to me. Enclosed in a tiny box tucked under my beating heart, frustrated at times, praying someone LOVES me like Jesus loves the church. In my tiny box, lovingly at will, I want to share my compassions, deepest fears and regrets, yet remain on course of what tomorrow is destined to bring. Solemn within the scope of my inner-reality, I charge time to drum at my pace so I can vacuum every moment of love and relationship to succeed fail. Time withers. My desires intercepts snippets of HOW-TO-LOVE-GREAT. The word can't rallies itself into what-if-I-fail. Failure nestles its DNA along side my viewpoint. Ever damaging my perception. Time does not want me. Time does not wait for my healing. I want Love BUT the bleeding...the bleeding...the agony mixed with ecstasy had me writing a song for NINA. Time, take my hand. Let me understand you. Your so big I fear making excuses about working simultaneously with you. Love does not grow without time. From sunrise to sunset, all my thinking is time, love, time and love again. Remixing the two variables trying to enrich the process. As the midnight hour approaches, certain ideologies refuge my heart: (1) Never waste a moment; (2) Be in love with love; (3) You are loved unconditionally; (4) Love made you; when you die-love will remain; (5) You cannot control time, but you can control You. Not a power outage inside of my soul can manifest doubts of tomorrow. Even though, time does not wait, Love does. Its soothes. Its dictates. It erases. It builds. It caresses. People hurt. Love does not. I LOVE love. Two seconds till midnight and Jesus still loves the church. My tiny box is filling. My compassions, deepest fears and regrets still remain. One second left till midnight and Love's importance has increased. 12:00am....I LOVE YOU has been time stamped on...You.

2016-12-04T22:29:00.002-08:00

I daydream in quiet. Letting the nearness of the thought processes comfort me. The struggle to find consistency in love has strengthened my doubt to ever find. Alone I feel. Maybe one day an arm will wrap itself around my heart blanketing my insecurities. Projecting my wants upon the world, sing aloud, too tired of playing stop-and-go with relationship desires-In search of what is needed, can do without the want. Just want to find miss forever so I can romance her with my eyes and say forever, ever, forever, ever...And watch our smiles slash through the midnight sky like a shooting star. As I am staring through the window praying in advance for your presence to be revealed, "God is good" I exhale in joy. Love is nearing. But I struggle in wait. My un-Godly acts create doubt. It feels good to be held sometimes. Winter looms over my bed-leaving only myself to hold. Kissing the night good-bye, another day to self-improve, I will continue to daydream in quiet. Love I am ready to embrace you. Are you ready to embrace me?

Beacon of Hope

2016-08-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

Where shall life's road take me? As the broken white lines separate my hopes and dreams, the goal of experiencing both on the same side of the road seemed impossible. I walked the road searching to find... Many people abandoned ship when my trust set adrift. Looking upward at the unique structure of the earth that bottles me. Fighting through rough terrain, gasping for droplets of rain, praying as I am relentlessly pushing tirelessly forward searching to find... Love beckoned me to come home. Years ago, I soiled the welcome mat with ill-advised acts of coward-ness. Pulled myself on the side of the road, watched cars at light speed pass me by. Weary from going no-where, God please, I pleaded, slow me down; The road of hope became longer. Carefully, I hopscotched on the broken white lines searching to find... I needed something that No man, woman, money or fame could ever provide. A character transplant God fulfill me. Take my foolish eyes away from what is wanted to what is needed, so I can brand a new start. Allow me to run pass the finish line while keeping my eyes upon you Lord. Fighting through rough terrain, gasping for droplets of rain, praying relentlessly searching to find... God you are Love. You provide me unspeakable joy. Those same white broken lines merge into solidarity when you are present. The more I speak upon you, more and more people abandon me. As I fall victim to the back-peddle method, life becomes ambiguous. No longer will I live in eternal fear. Merrily, I walk. I sing, I dance, I romance the possibilities. I embrace the journey. I coincide with the rough terrain, droplets of rain become my portion providing me with just enough energy to stretch forward. "And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you. If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you (Matthew 17:20)

Psalm 51:10

2014-04-13T23:11:00.001-07:00

With a highway of situational thoughts trafficking of what is yet to become, I dare not look over my shoulder because that is where pain lives. That is where liars live-cohabitating with players, con-men and egotistical factions. Took a few of belongings and a box of tissues in case my eyes need to drain themselves. Exhausted from the GAME, my desire to move forth into the next chapter of my life, in Godspeed, I journey. Facing the enemy in myself, I could not fathom the robust attitude of my ego any longer. Longing to find redemption by patterning what I say is what I mean and what I mean is what I will do stance, hoping Love will romance me once again. Facing adversity through my will to win again. Driven to watch my actions create joy in someone. Giving someone a hug of safety. Implanting God's word with every decision made. But my walk has to be in unison with God's purpose. Sometimes, Lord I just do not have the energy to keep walking. I get distracted by watching the planes fly in the sky. Often, the temptation to look over my shoulder blurs my forward watch. My heart hurts as if the problems that have failed me keep robbing my joy inside. The peace of love evades the power of my willingness to proceed budding an in-the-flesh contradiction. A straight line I walk, but my words color outside the lines creating a fictional portrayal of who I really am and truly what carries my heart. I love Love but I am afraid of placing my heart in the hands of another. No way can I succumb to heartbreak when my heart, fragile and recluse in its contentment, being alone has always been my master plan. Freedom of my mind Lord is what I am praying for. Not sure when I will get there, but I will get there Lord. I will walk in favor and bring an abundance of reassurance that I will move in fortitude of what is yet to become.

Thy beauty of thy heart

2014-04-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

Placing permanent ink borders around my heart that is troublesome and lonely ensuring one does not across into a place where hurt may strike again. Not sure if my heart can carry the capacity of genuine; Daily struggles of remorse while carrying dead weight of what ifs'. From the chords of my lungs etching out silent songs tempo-ed by melodies saddened by decisions made with a coarse heart. Fabricated truths and written ploys of unrehearsed drama-a rathole of a screenwriter of lies I became. Nominated and voted unanimously by those whose thought processes resembled my very own in structure; only different being-my lies, hurts, remorse and tears are written in permanent ink. Trying to move forth by adding calculated synthetic protein additives to build muscle around my scarred and damaged heart. More muscle more problems it seems. I guess the synthetic ingredients of the protein cannot obscure a "dealing heart." A pledge of allegiance is warranted. But strength to place my hand over a muscle not yet mature to take on the rigors of life, has subjected me to a darkened room of no one to trade thoughts upon. A room, of very little light, to decipher what my next thought will look like because the limitless light gives no room for introspect. Where does a heart go when its worn? Like a frog on a lily pad, observing nature in 3D, my heart leaps from thoughts to conclusions, conclusions to thoughts, only to drown on the lily pad that could not hold my weight for very long. It is amazing how Thy beauty of thy heart controls what thy see in color. But when Thy heart is worn it channels All THINGS in black and white. Filled with the wonders of love, my heart and its lonely can only seek what it can truly define. By incorporating pre-cautionary measures and stricter rules to ensure joy, happiness, peace and elongated love and passion beyond what Cupid offers. If there were no me, my heart would still be relevant; if my heart succumbed to just words; love would be irrelevant. And once my heart defines someone who really justifies love, she will be regarded as "Heaven Sent." Thy beauty of thy heart controls what thy see in color; When thy heart is "dealing" the room becomes dark, lies resemble truths, and permanent scars become inked. The hurt will one day cease. The heart will beat in rhythm again. Be accepting of what is yet to come... Pray for thy beauty of thy heart.

2013-11-05T21:58:00.002-08:00

Seeking to find the one. Hopeful that she will appear when my mind and heart are in alignment. Ready to welcome her with open arms and a sincere heart. She will be my Valentine's 365 days of the year. I will love her beyond the sunset. I will make love to her through the midnight hour. I will marry her dreams. I will cultivate her hopes into realities. She will be the period after every sentence created. She stares in my eyes with finalization. I say "Yes" as her lips press against my cheek whispering to me how happy she was that I Found her. I walk in faith. Talk in strength. Broke down many nights as alone befriended me. Wishful tears blurred my foresight at times, but I constantly reminded myself that as God closes one door, he opens ten more. Never thought I would feel insatiable joy again. But when God introduced me to you sweet woman, my legs succumbed to the promise of God, on my knees I fell, surrendering many thanksgivings. Love was remixed. Love never smelled so sweet. I never wanted this feeling to let me go. For years, my back angled itself against the wall while my thoughts became a prisoner of my unfaithfulness. Lost sight of the precious gifts brought forth in human form. Nevertheless, I destroyed faithful; never to make love to her ever again. Followed by deceit, self-doubt and loneliness. Drowning in my own tears, God placed a lifejacket over my heart and the reconstruction began. Fighting the temptations of sharing my body with the unknowns, I segregated myself from the powers that be. Muted and alone, I began walking down a different pathway. The road less traveled separated the truths from the fallacies by creating a place of refuge where I could rest and not feel ashamed. I clicked my heels three times and said "God, forgive me and allow me to continue to live and thrive in your intended purpose...forgive me." The sky roared as the sun bullied its way through the dark clouds. The rays of the sun kissed and found comfort on my darkened skin...I smiled. Without a moments noticed, she appeared. Her smile tickled my heart placing temporary dimples in my cheekbones. Her presence made me smile harder. Her calming words made me feel taller. God confirmed us as we. We as one. On the way we go...never to forget the journey of falling, getting back up, and going from glory to glory to glory. Welcome.

Love in Retrospect...I declare.

2013-07-04T22:47:00.003-07:00

Mercy on my heart you beautiful woman whose beauty has taken me beyond the course of courts-man-ship. Imagine a pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow seasoned just for my heart to accept. Imagine the gift of love celebrated like a corporate holiday. Anxiously awaiting for that movie moment when the sun draws nearer as our eyes reach a pivotal moment-they rest upon the reflection of what is yet to become. Nervously I succumb to my imaginary moment, eyes wide open. Long sigh... No rush to kiss you. More eager to share my deepest darkest secrets as, we, in love, build an alliance, trusting the pathway we walk in faith, carrying the weight of life while our spirits guide us to God's promise. Burdened with old afflictions, wondering If I will ever pass love's sobriety test, my drunken state of confusion has weakened my position of ever wanting to love again. But the more I stay from the matters of love, the more I want to SAY YES. The "Yes" man has been out of season for awhile now. Reflecting on my whirlwind affairs and matters of the heart, desperate to clear my name, proactively on bended knees, the fruit of what was being released from the mouth was course in its presentation and rotten from its agenda. The daunting task of revitalizing my spirit that has shaken, stirred and spat on clearly has taken me on a roller coaster ride of remorse. Searching to find simplicity in my heart that has been cornered and hardened by its own impulsive implications has become a by-product that one seems to want to buy. As reachable as embedded stars in a midnight sky, I want Love in its replication. Always bright, steady as a surgeon's hand and as delicate as the eyes of a newborn seeing his parents for the first time, I thirst to become whole. My fight has become arduous. No warnings of what lies ahead. Just reflective memories of what should of been. Ridding of the arrested development of my past, while allowing me to mercifully take refuge of my heart accepting the beauty within you. That pot of gold is right before me: Am I ready Lord?

2013-03-10T22:41:00.002-07:00

Delicate Love, pure in its subtle ways creates a humbling act of courage upon my heart. Where my love is kept, HOPE is dancing under the night light. Never questioning where my purpose with love is gathering to take me. I conform to thee intimate details of how never to stop feeling the euphoria of Love's never ending story. My Rosebud, each rose is delicately catered in your name, smiling religiously as each rose blossoms. Delicate Love, the watering will never cease. Learn you; to love you- Harvest you; to grow "One" with you- Place my proud heart on you; finally "free" to walk our lives in perfect tune. Delicate Love, The kisses are plentiful. Allows my eyes to close daydreaming repetitiously about the way our lips' movements are in sync with our sexiness. Ah's of ecstasy finds refuge between my heart and yours connecting us beyond the physical. As your rock of substance, I dare to love you beyond purpose. We dance without music. Each breath of life exhales new meaning, humility and understanding that... My delicate love is more than a physical lust. She is an extension and gift from the Lord Almighty. She welcomes me AS IS. She prays for me AS IS, as HIS, loves without ASK-ING, a true gift send from above... Oh my! I do accept her Delicate Love!

Published Rose

2012-10-25T20:59:00.002-07:00

There was a sense of hope when our lips touched for the very first time. For a moment I let myself go, feeling liberated and free. Skin to skin we embraced, eyes widening to the rays of the sunrise that was dawning between our stares. Oh beautiful you are dear lady. Your smile justifies how one defines happiness. As I draw nearer to the special place that NO man has dared to go, without wearing a life jacket around my heart, my love takes intermediate strokes aiming to swim beyond your heart's threshold. Not here to place claim on you lady. But the plan is to change your last name lady. I take a firm position, interlocking my fingers unto yours. Just as the sun began to dawn, I state promising words of lasting meaning with no negative repercussions. Your palms begin to moisten. Your eyes fixated by the positioning of my lips compounding illustrative sentences of in-depth imagery of what my heart is producing me to say. A long sigh I took. One tear from your eyes tried to take refuge by sliding down your cheek: I caught it, tasted it...it was as sweet as you. I looked up into the sun's horizon and I knew God had forgiven me. God had forgiven me because he gave me another chance of love by promising me You. Ah, my love so much to do yet so little time... You asked if we could look TOGETHER into the sun's horizon.. I asked, "Why?" You said, "If God gave you another chance of love by promising me to You, then lets give HIM all the glory, honor and praise for never faltering on HIS promise!" Amen. The sun sets.

2012-09-18T23:46:00.002-07:00

Await for me. Love for me. Live life in detail with me. Meet me at the end of the rainbow where the gold sits in plenty. We are enriched, favored, and prayed for in Love. You have made the transition easy... I will await for you. Cultivating our Love one day at a time. I will Love and Honor you in detail. I have never saw a rainbow in a person(s) eyes until I met you.

A Published Rose

2012-09-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

When I met you, I knew you were the other half of my heart. Awaiting in love, the embrace of home I felt as I buried my soul within yours. Flavored on-time kisses, aroused by the anxiety of you finally near me, shouting with great elation I can finally rest-just hold me my love. Let us experience love in great grandeur and continuous passion where our thoughts become our truths, the beauty of monogamy succeeds us; bridging example-ship for the world to experience and see firsthand. The way your eyes experiences me in so I become a great lover to you. Loving your womanhood the way it relates to things of joy that secretly creates joyous tears of celebration. Moment after moment I carve my love ever so gently through your spirit that defines the birth of a woman whose passion goes beyond the boundaries of love's defining thirst of finding a home of forever. Skin to Skin we lay. The silent moans while you sleep keeps me in tune with my duties to protect you as you sleep. Hoping you are dreaming of how I am whispering "I Love You" as you sleep-dream skin to skin and as I hope-dream my lips upon your lips. My heart is safe. No longer do I have to look behind me to see If I left HOPE behind. I found you. The very essence of what was meant for me has proven that my patience and obedience to God his promise of deliverance is right on time. No matter how much the world's powers and principalities philosophies set out to do, I will remain a righteous and faithful lover in our forever plan of holy commitment. I will finish the race. We will win. We will rejoice in unison. Let the holy waters cleanse us, strengthen us, and complete the reconstruction of our tender hearts.

Right on Time!

2012-09-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

A collective walk along the earth's shoreline talking against the clouds repelling thoughts upon thoughts waiting patiently for a wave of responses. Singing with a distinctive baritone making rhythmic music with the crashing sound of the waves sifting through the noise anticipating my answers have finally been delivered. I stopped for a second. Supplanted my knees unto the soft sand which held me upright and I proceeded to extend my arms towards heaven's platform. My thoughts were bewildered and for minutes in succession lost hope taking me a direction where my heart was being anchored in deepened waters. Take me as I am oH Lord and create in me a creature for you likeness and purpose. For my purpose is celebratory through selfish plights and contradictory words. I refuse to carry weight of confusion as I step into another season of my life. Carried by the will of God, I set forth to a new awakening pioneered by a new way of thinking, reacting, and loving. No longer a product of substantial sin, I extend my arms beyond the tips of my fingers and I yell out "No More GOD." I yell out as hard as my lungs could expand leaving me without breath followed by an exhausted cry. Daring myself to be different, the lure of sin keeps me farther away from the kingdom of which is promised. Mumbling words of forgiveness while my exhausted cries opened the clouds above me, a bird lands alongside my left knee and taps me ever so gently with its dull beak. Startled by the dull attack, a quick knee jerk reaction makes me stand on my two feet, but I did not flee. The bird circled me like surveyed food and finally nests on my right shoulder. Flapping his wings with undeniable power, his claws gripping into my shoulder, the bird was lifting me. Feeling powerless, my body adjusted to the gripping of the birds claws. I am flying! I am flying! I look down to see my body still standing upright, arms extended beyond my fingertips with my head down in surrender. The Lord was ridding of the bad spirit of me and cleansing my spiritman to HIS likeness to become a new man of CHRIST...my thoughts were answered, right on time!

Gerald Levert & Eddie Levert - Already Missing You

2012-08-20T22:04:00.001-07:00

Rebirth Day 30: The Prelude to the 2nd Coming...

2012-07-12T00:03:00.001-07:00

So many things left unsaid; salted tears introduced themselves to my pillow at night. The very essence of me wanted to embrace the love of you without allowing hurt to become you. Guided travels to places of corruption, filth, and the misconceptions of the man I truly was placed blinders upon my eyes creating pathways of hopelessness with a pinch of despair, troubling, because I was so close to finding change. Why could I not make the decision to stop the nonsense? Was this game of Hide-Go-Seek that my heart displaced in its own misery only to be lost in its own ventricular seduction bound to die? A barrier, like the Berlin wall, separated my love and my ego... As much as my love would rain roses from the sky, both red and blue, my ego did not allow me to sacrifice the ultimate guarantee of loving you without blemish. Wearing down, my body began to change: the functionality of how I conceptualized love and relationships, fore-saw realities, and the subtle longing for a "miracle" to set me free never developed into fruition. I craved for the attention of things that set me adrift far away from the front door that I had a permanent key to. The key, crafted to unlock the entry way, withered away along with I. My voice was muted from the pain inflicted by selfishness. A plead to take me as I am no longer carried weight: It carried misery, deceit, and mistrust. I was dying physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I pleaded,"God, I am not ready for the next step in my life. I need time. I need prayer. I need cleansing. I need love bad, God. Why now Lord?" Numerous attempts to walk down the right pathway led me astray from the people that loved me unconditionally. I sought to be a better man. I did not make it. As I pulled up and knocked ever so gently on your door, I wanted to see you. I wanted to feel your breath on my neck as we embraced. I wanted to spot a kiss on the top of your nose and watch the tickle effect of it make you laugh and smile. As you opened the door, I looked in comfort then my heart stopped. Your last words I could hear, "I will never stop loving you." In response, I tried to say "I see you soon", but my internal clock was thumping too loud for me to voice my words. Ironically, I saw you. I felt your breath on my neck. You kissed me on the top of my nose. In spirit, I laughed and smile. I passed away knowing that you will never stop loving me. My spirit rose and I asked, "Why now Lord?" HE responded, "There is something special I need you to do...I am going to bathe you, cleanse you, teach you how to pray and love all over again...and send you back HOME to be the example-ship of my love... Love Fiction: The Rebirth Of My Heart releasing on Thanksgiving Day.... Thank you all for reading my 30-Day Rebirth series...It has been a cleansing for me and has helped with the healing process of all the things I have endured.

Rebirth Day 29

2012-06-15T23:14:00.001-07:00

I found myself drowning in your eyes; awakened by your soulful eyes that deliver the sweetest hello that only saliva moistened lips could only pretend to do. Splices in my life became surreal whereas hope was lost and far-fetched yet we bridged a connection on bended knees praying without ceasing, loving without restraint, and living in transparency: The storm we will survive. Burdened with an undeniable past forever quenching the thirst of my beloved critics and haters, my focus has always constructed a place where my loudest screams, my godly cries will be sheltered with arms wrapped around me, fingers interlocked while my spirit man plays super-hero. Running after you, I ran into a few pit stops. My journey had me freestyle swimming to the mountaintop: There I will rest and wait in obedience as God re-shapes, re-invents, re-creates this man who lives in dire fear. Fear of what some may ask: Fear that I will not make it; Fear that I will never Love again; Fear of taking the last shot of life with one second on the clock (My Lebron hands); Fear that I will never see the Love in you. Miles away you stood, roads curving, slanted pavement and center lines motioning in various directions, we choose our own pathways without counsel only to end up in places where we do not belong. Just when I think that I am there, the journey quadruples its length, hurdling issues upon issues, but it behooved me to get to the mountaintop. Martin Luther King wrote, "Like anybody, I would like to live-a long life; longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." Upon withdrawing my heart of its deceitful nature, the cleansing begun. Like pheromones produced as two lovers become one in the midnight hour, I thank God for my journey and the lessons that be. "He who knoweth his self hath known his Lord."

Rebirth Day 28

2012-05-29T22:27:00.002-07:00

My mind creates its own highway of thoughts filled with commuting ideas with how I will restart my journey to find my own inner-truths. Once weakened by remorse, frustrated with my compassion, and eager to set adrift to a new conclusion, I beckon my God to take this lofty-minded man into HIS framework of obedience, guidance and love. The years of taking advantage of those whose loved the painted areas of my soul received a raw deal, yet the evolution of what was to become of the friendship grew thorns that sharply sliced the life out of those who sincerely loved me. Never did I abandon hope. Never did I waiver with explosive remedies that kept me in tune with reality. Never did I believe that I was a quitter. God created me to love: Unconditionally, safely, with wise-counsel; and without fault. Listen, I had to admit my short-comings, insecurities, mistakes, and I even dined with Satan on occasion. On his menu he had everything contrary to God's promise, wait, wait, but it was costly. Smoking mirrors, sanity lost, no hope, driven by lust...emotional breakdown. "But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." As I was bathing in my own tears, something magical happened...

Rebirth: Day 27

2012-04-12T21:52:00.006-07:00

Wanted to see you one last time,
Nervously rehearsing what my last words would be.
Unable to let go of past failures,
I refused to meet.
Not sure if it was the fear of looking into those very eyes that made love to my soul,
Or the fact of the matter was: I still cry for you.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
You always made me feel bigger than my 5'11 frame.
I was your hero, peacemaker, love-maker, anti-heartbreaker,
When wanted, I came running.
One day, I kept running because you stopped wanting.
I stopped loving because you gave up on me.
Once living above the clouds draped in passion and romance,
Literally, dancing with the stars from sunrise to sunset.
Where did the love go?
Why couldn't I stop running baby?
Sleeping without love was lengthening my nights of turmoil baby.
Can we talk about making the commitment "us" a priority?
You said, "No!"
I asked, "Why?"
Your response: "You remind me of the same person who is labeled as the "Father of Lies."
She continued, "When you kept running, I begged for you to stop, but you were so focused on living for the untruths and without disregard of my feelings, my heart hardened, I gave up and died...forever."