Foreign object in muddy water

Kurt and Brigitta's birthday party

2012-01-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

These photos were taken from the birthday party we made for both kids, since their birthdays are only a month apart. A month and a day to be exact. So, we decided to go all out and made a big party out of it. We chose "under the sea" theme, and it was actually coz we're excited about the Air Swimmers. :) We wanted to play with it..ha ha. But anyway, we enjoyed decorating the whole room with the theme and we also found a great catering company from this event.

Brigitta's Chinese new year performance

2012-01-26T21:21:00.001-08:00

This is at her preschool, and they put on a show for the parents. She was ok at first but then in the middle, stopped and sat with me. :)

Stay at home Mom Work blues

2012-01-24T21:35:00.001-08:00

It might be hormones talking here but I think ex employees of fortune 500 companies (or maybe any company) will have a tough time being a stay at home Mom.

At work, I had tons of support, company perks, everything I do is acknowledged, I get tons of praises or criticisms, and at the end of every year, there's 180 degrees reviews so that I can better myself at every aspect. At home it's different. Actually, I'm already at peace with me being a stay at home mom. We see the benefits already with the kids even only after a few years, and on the whole, I feel so blessed that one of us could do this for our kids. I guess I'm just feeling the blues coz we just finished wrapping up a big birthday bash that I had thought about/planned for the last couple of months. The theme was under the sea and I was trying to be creative without spending too much.

During the party, everyone seemed to be amazed at the work we've done. We worked till about 11pm the night before and then a few hours before the party with the help of our neighbours. But today, a couple of days after, I'm left with a big mess to clean up at the house and just feel let down. I was really happy on that day, it was like sharing a big vision, a piece of artwork with everyone. But now that the 'art' is gone, no one seems to appreciate it was ever there. Well, that's not true, my friend, Kathleen wrote on my FB wall that she loved the party and it was amazing. I guess I just wanted to hear from more people. Plus, now I think about all the bad things that I forgot to do or not able to finish for the party (like forgetting to give out the party favor bags until half of my guests has left) which just leaves me exasperated at myself. Do I sound whiny?

I think I feel a bit down too after hearing Kevin talked about work and the things he's doing and all the interaction he's getting from that. I missed that. Being an employee, one gets so many feedback from a lot of different people. Being a stay at home Mom is lonely, even when we meet other Moms for playgroups but what we do at home with the kids, no one really knows what we do. No one gives us feedback if we're doing right or wrong on every little thing. I sometimes feel I'm working blind.

Writing does help though. But even then, it's still not a two way street..well, maybe unless you're like Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat Pray Love). I'm referring to the part where she writes questions in her notebook and then she says the answers will come to her. Ah well, maybe some stay at home parent will read this and realized that he/she is not the only one that feels this way. I wonder if it would have been easier if I never worked before. If I had kids right after college. Maybe that challenge would be imagining what I would have become if I did.

BTW, I do realize working parents also have their challenges. This is just from my perspective as a stay at home Mom. I think this is just one of those challenges in life, ups and downs and today for me at least, is down.

-Haniza-

Photos from Italiano and going back home.

2012-01-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

My two babies

2012-01-18T09:04:00.001-08:00

Older photo of the kids together.

Review on Mazda CX9 2011 Grand Touring - Family's perspective

2012-01-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

We have been using the Mazda CX9 2011 Grand Touring, Copper Red Mica with sand leather for a bit more than a year now. I don't think there's much difference between the 2011 and 2012 models. Word is that the big changes are probably in 2013 or 2014. I wonder if that's the reason why the 2012 models have a 0% APR promo loan right now.

Overall, we love our car. We're a family of four with the two kids being younger than 3 when we got the car. We wanted to find something that looks sleek, able to seat 7 and have AWD. We looked at the minivans but just don't like the designs and the way they drive. SUV's are not as efficient and family friendly as minivans esp when you have younger kids but hey..doesn't everyone say that kids grow up too fast anyway? Plus, we wanted something that we can keep for a long time.

For the price of the CX9, we were able to get the Grand Touring with all the bells and whistles. To us, it's more value for the money than more popular brands out there that includes all their bells and whistles.

I'd like to cover the points that makes sense to us as a family. Hopefully it'll help another family who's thinking about getting this car too.

Seats
We got the sand leather seats and the leather is really nice for clean up in case of spills. The seats don't seem to stain as easily as our off white leather sofas at home. It fits both First Years car seats well (and they're a bit wider than most other car seats) and a small adult can still squeeze in the middle. With the car seats, it is a bit hard to get to the third row seats because you can't fold the second row seats all the way to the front but a child can get back there quite easily. I'm about 5ft tall and the third row seat feels a bit cramped even though it's comfy. I will not like it if I have to sit in there for more than an hour.

Front seats have seat warmers for both driver and passenger, and this is a wonderful feature. I usually feel the heat in about 2 minutes. The driver side has a adjuster lumbar support which is ok but I don't feel much difference. I do like that it has 3 slots for driver's seat memory, hubby and I use that ALL the time, it cuts down on us squabbling at each other. For someone with my height, I do wish that I can get the seat to be a bit higher.

Climate control
I still don't know how to master the control for the rear passengers from the front. The instructions say to press the Auto button for Rear climate control so that it copies the driver's side controls but it doesn't seem so. I have to reach to the back and change the controls manually.

The climate controls for the front is not the best either. The fan seems to take a few minutes to kick in and sometimes I feel like it's either too high or too low.

Blind Monitoring System

Standard on a Grand Touring, it's a must have for me. There's a yellow car icon at the side mirror on either side if there's a car in the blind spot. If we signal to merge or turn, then a beeping sound will come in addition to the icon. One time when I merging, I heard the beep but couldn't see anything but I slowed down and saw a really low car zooming by.

Keyless Entry
Have you ever got kids in both arms while trying to find the car keys? You don't have to do that anymore with the keyless entry. Just stand close enough with the keys and hit the door button. Simple as that. I also love that I don't have to start the car with a key, all I have to do is just turn the knob. When I do forget to put my car keys in my handbag, the knob will not turn.

Back up Camera
If it's an extra sunny day, it's hard to see coz it's so bright but if it's dusk or evening, it's a life saver. With the Grand Touring, the image shows up where the GPS map is and its in color. Hubby and I love this feature too. Helps with parking and avoiding people who love to walk behind a car going in reverse.

Rear liftgate
I have to hit the 'open door' button twice before hitting the 'rear liftgate' button to open the rear liftgate. That's kind of annoying, with kids and groceries, it would have been helfpul to just have one button to do this.

DVD Player
Best thing EVER. We chose this instead of the moonroof, didn't regret it for a second. If you have kids, this is great. If you don't like TV for kids, then don't get it. :) My daughter doesn't ask for it all the time, it's good for long distance trip. Two wireless headphones are included with the system. I bought a kidzgear wireless headphones for my kids but the sound just goes in and out. Kidzgear gave us another one but it was the same, they also say that their other customers who have CX9's have no problems so it could just be my car. I think we can put a wired headset in but I haven't done this yet. If you don't want to use headphones, just choose AUX2 and the sound will come in the stereo system.

I do wish that we are able to put the DVD in from the front seats. From the back, I would have to kind of lean over their car seats to get to the DVD player or push the front seat way back to reach the DVD slot. Once it's in, you can control the system with a remote, but you would have to reach back to see the screen. Not very comfortable.

Navigation System (GPS)
I had a Garmin and this ain't no Garmin. It's clunky and unintuitive. If the car is moving, the passenger is not able to plug in new addresses, the only place it allows us to choose is Home. The voice recognition doesn't really work well for the GPS so if I ask to show hotels, it might show gas stations for example. BTW, I use Google maps a lot on my iphone just to see alternate routes. One good note is that it does show traffic and evades it if we request it.

Storage
I love bringing home a new car when it's all clean and neat inside. Now, it looks like we live in it half the time. With toys, mirrors, diaper bags, portable potty and high chair, extra clothes, the list just goes on and on. Not to mention our beautiful Baby Jogger City Select Double stroller. The car takes this all in easily with room for groceries. This is probably one of the main reasons we bought a SUV and it definitely fulfills. We always have the third row seat down though but we have only used it once within the last year, so it's fine for our purpose.

It also has a floor compartment at the trunk that has a tool kit. I placed a floor mat and bungee cords in it. The sunglass compartment in the driver's seat is too small for the current huge frames sunglasses. But the middle console has tons of space. I put my kids DVD's in them.

We had the factory side rails so decided to put in the Thule roof racks and also got a Thule Atlantis 1600 (shiny black). It's huge and was very aerodynamic, didn't affect the car's handling at all. Worth getting for long distance trips.

Power and Handling
With my old car, I hated that I had to rev up the engine to merge into the freeway. The CX9 merges smooth and as swift as I want it. Mazda really lives up to it's zoom zoom motto on this one.

Hubby loves the tight turning radius too. We rented a smaller SUV (Ford Escape) when we travelled, and the CX9 turns much easier and with a tighter radius than the Ford.

We both feel like it drives like a car. It's responsive and fun to drive. Since we had the Grand Touring, the bigger 20" alum wheels are standard. We read that it makes the ride is more bumpy but truthfully, we really can't tell.

Mileage
It's not an eco car. I get about 17.8 avg mpg on it. We do a 50-50 on freeways and normal roads. For a car this size, I think it's fine. The car will let you know the mpg as you're using it and also as an average. It shows up that info and many more on a narrow strip on the front dashboard. We loved knowing how much mileage we have in the gas tank especially when driving on wide expanses in the dessert country.

Doors
I wish the CX9 has sliding rear doors. The rear door is wide and a couple of times, we had to drive the car out a bit from the parking lot to put our kids in their car seat. If they made this into a sliding door, I would have called it the perfect car.

Other things that matters to families

My friend has a minivan and I love that her kids can climb into the car and seat themselves in their car seat. With the CX9, I have to help my very independent daughter to climb into the car, and not only that, I actually lift her up into the car seat. I think a minivan is built low so that's why my friend's kids could do that. I have to wait for my kids to grow a few more years unfortunately.

Get the all weather mat for the car. It helps to protect the floor carpet from rain and snow.

If you have any other questions about the car, let me know and I'll try to answer it for you.

Stomach Flu house

2012-01-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

My tummy goes into cramps every few minutes, feelings of nausea comes and goes. First we found Brigitta crying in bed, with vomit around her. She threw up a couple more times that night, luckily, the next day she stopped throwing up. But she had diarrhea. Kevin and I both just felt green in the gills the whole time.

Then, third and fourth day, everything was fine in this world till yesterday night when Kurt woke up at night with vomit on his crib. Great. This is the world of two or more kids...they do not get it at one time (usually). Kevin helped a lot by taking care of the kids mostly at night as I just had more than enough during the day with them.

Seems everyone we know has just survived a bout of stomach flu or knows someone who is. I had only heard of medical epidemics from news or overhearing friends who are parents talking about it. Now, that I'm experiencing it in person, it's like just trying to ride the incoming waves. You can't do much about it and fighting it will wear the hell out of you..so just wait and ride it out. Being a parent does teach you patience, and surprisingly love. At 3am, watching Kevin staggering back to bed after he managed to get Kurt or Brigitta to sleep makes me love Kevin more..coz I definitely can't do this by myself.

Stay healthy
Haniza

The beats of a drum

2012-01-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

In another life, I would have become a drummer. Like Dave Grohl...ha ha..yeah, I wish.

I've always fantasized of drumming. Whenever I hear the modern music, that drumming just gets to me you know. Then, there's the booming timpani sounds of an orchestra..oh God, that just blows me away. I like the Japanese Taiko drumming too but the solo acts of drumming in a band, where one person just controls the beat and to just enhance a piece...it's sublime.

Who knows...maybe I'll take up drumming one day. :)

Peace out,
H

Collapsing in front of the tv

2012-01-10T11:17:00.001-08:00

After the kids went off to bed, a process that takes about 1-3 hours, Kev and I have just enough energy to collapse on the sofa to watch TV.

We don't have cable but we have Netflix and Hulu plus. We also have Amazon Prime but have not checked that one yet. What we did is connect a mini Mac to our TV. Have been happily been without cable for 2 years now.

So, right now our go to show is Battlestar Galatica. We are sci fi/fantasy fans. That show got nearly 5 stars and there's 76 episodes so it's going to last us for awhile.

We have watched about ten episodes so far and it feels like the total opposite of Star Trek. The people are filled with flaws, sex oozing, the humans just gets beaten left and right, robots are more into faith than humans, and the 'enemy' has cooler looking technology. Man, we keep saying this series better feel more uplifting soon.

The other shows we love are Modern Family and Community (this is cancelled I heard), once upon a time is intriguing, Eureka is relaxing and I have my new tearjerker series, Switched at birth to watch.

Luckily we have date nights, no tv with occasional cinema. :)

Haniza

--
Haniza Schlosser
C : 408 239 3681

Happy Birthday Brigitta Nurilham

2012-01-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my daughter, Brigitta Nurilham Schlosser. Moga 2012 tahun yang penuh ria dan ilmu yang bermanfaat padanya. Ilham has just turned three years old today. What an exciting time, she just rode her first roller coaster recently coz she just reached 36" and started her preschool (half days) a few days ago. There'll be tons of firsts this year too. Can't wait.

Enlightenment and being an older parent

2012-01-09T00:08:00.000-08:00

So, if I start blogging reviews, will people be more interested in my blog? The thing is throughout the day, I have tons of ideas on what to blog, what to write but that's when I'm changing a poopy diaper, washing dishes, cooking, bathing kids, cleaning, etc, etc... When the kids are asleep, and my mind has rested a bit, I totally forgot the topics that I was fired up about a few hours/days ago. Sigh.

I did however finished reading Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't had the chance to see the movie yet but I do enjoy the book. I even told Kevin to read it. He got me a Kindle Touch (Amazon) for Christmas and I love that I can download free books from the library. It gave me a few ideas on what to teach the kids in term of searching for a soul mate. I'm also intrigued by her experiences in meditation. I find my 5 daily prayers as mini meditations. I've memorized the verses since I was 5 and so it's on automatic but the feeling of being at peace comes as soon as I said the first verse which is the intention of praying (in Arabic). There are some times when the peace is a bit marred especially when I have a crying baby who wants my attention right at my feet or a toddler who is jumping up and down the bed beside me. But on the whole, my prayers have kept me sane. It's too bad that Elizabeth Gilbert doesn't have kids, I wonder what her perspective would be if she was a Mom.

Instead I read Kendra Wilkinson's book on being a Mom. An ex-stripper, ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, young mother and probably has no idea what an Ashram is. It actually amuses me that she is totally exhausted with taking care of her son. So many people (uncountable really) told me that it's better to have kids when you're young coz get this, you'll have more energy to take care of kids. Well, it doesn't matter if you're young or old, sleep deprivation is still tough on the body and mind. In my humble opinion (hey, it's my blog) I think it's actually better to be an older parent. I believe that with age, the older parents (and some grandparents) are tougher mentally and this helps a lot. We are also more patient and more comfortable with our faults and know our strengths. I really believe that when one knows about oneself, it helps to us to be a better parent. We have also moved along the career path or many careers so there's probably a bigger clarity on whether we want to continue on that same career or stay at home. So, back to Kendra, I love her first book, it's raw, honest and makes me want to homeschool my kids. The second book, is ok but not as good as the first one. Luckily both books don't cost me a cent...I just love my library.

I'm going off now. am thinking of writing reviews on high chairs, my SUV, strollers, maybe toys. It'll be great to get more traffic here. Maybe then I'll get a check from Google..do they still do that paying for high amounts of traffic?

Cheers
Haniza

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T23:19:00.000-08:00

It's been tough to write lately...heck, it's been tough to even pee. Everytime I go to the restroom, Kurt starts crying or wants to go in there with me. Once, he's in the restroom while I was washing my hands, and when I turned, saw a whole new toilet roll in the toilet.

So, Kurt will undergo his second year in life in 2012, that period was great fun for me with Brigitta. I'm sure it'll be the same with Kurt. The biggest change I think will be independence. Even now, he's trying to assert it by climbing up to the dining table from his high chair. He loves it when he sees an open gate, he will rush through and then paused at the very top of the stairs. Yes, I'm very glad that he actually pauses.

Brigitta also has reached 36 inches recently. Actually, she's probably a few millimeters away but it's close enough for the roller coaster guy to let her through. It's a mini roller coaster but for her, it's as incredible as the best coaster that a 5 flag theme park can offer. She was laughing the whole time (according to Kevin) and when it ended, she shouted that she LOVES roller coaster rides. Yes, she also speaks in full sentences. She mostly does it in English but when prompted can translate it in Malay.

As you can probably tell, my kids are the center of my world right now. Sure, I do things like travel (to Disneyworld coz Kevin had a conference there..yay!) and Denver (Kevin's son Alex got married) but the preparation of travel is 90% kids. I just make sure I have enough underwear and clean clothes. BTW, I don't bring a lot of clothes coz I actually hand wash them while traveling. For the kids however, I bring enough for a month even though it's a two weeks trip.

The last two weeks have been great coz Kevin was off and I managed to get some sleep. Even though we sometimes sleep at 1 am but it's coz we were watching a movie. I even left a lot of dirty dishes in the sink coz I know Kevin will help to watch the kids the next day. I still didn't get to finish all my chores but at least my sanity is coming back to me slowly.

I bet you're wondering what cool thing we did for New Years right? I did laundry while watching Battlestar Galactica. Kevin was putting speakers up (took him 6 months to finish this job) while watching the same thing. Battlestar Galactica is good, we had only watched 4 or 5 episodes but man...humans are getting crushed! Hopefully humans will win some soon coz I definitely would like to watch something more uplifting.

My New Year's resolution is to try to write more often in the blog, lose weight and clean up the Whoosh2 website stuff.

Happy New Year you all!

Haniza Zainal Abidin - Schlosser

Homeschooling

2011-08-10T22:11:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone
Kevin and I are seriously thinking of homeschooling the kids. We had just came back from a homeschool conference in sacramento which was an amazing experience. I learnt a lot of stuff that even helps me understanding the kids a bit more for example learning styles.
I do feel scared to do homeschooling yet I also feel exhilarated. I want the kids to have a strong relationship with us, the parents and each other. I also
want them to love learning and feel confident in life. I didn't want them to feel traumatized at school like i was. I also felt stupid even though I aced a lot of the major exams, I always felt like a bit of a sham.
There were times when I loved school but usually it's coz I find the subject matter fascinating like astronomy or anthropology. Things I didn't think I would be passionate about.
It's a blessing that we live in an informational age. The mass sharing of information and knowledge makes me incredibly giddy and I don't take it for granted. Who knows how long we can sustain this technology lifestyle with most items are finite. I'm more happy learning nowadays compared to all those years in school.
Back to homeschooling though. The message that stays with me is that the parents are the only ones that are fully and wholly invested in their children future and happiness.
We just have to learn to let go and trust ourselves.

T$ypIng ftom iPhone..(but not driving)

Sunday morning chat

2011-07-17T14:44:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone

I just sent my passport application in to the LA Msian consulate to be renewed. Am praying and hoping that it will be done without a hitch. That's one of the downsides of living in another country, we have to go through all this paperwork to retain our citizenship, residency, etc. Albeit it's once in a few years but it feels difficult to do coz it's not something we do everyday. The consulate said to put it in 6 months before it expires, mine only has one month before expiry. I just noticed the date just before giving birth and once Kurt Iskandar came to the scene, I was just too tired and frazzled to think about passport applications. Plus, I wasn't sure where to take the photos (the last photographer wasn't that great and I wasn't sure if he actually followed the requirements), not sure where to do a notary and I also have to go to the post office and Fedex. So...lots of things to do while juggling house, toddler, baby. But when I started the process, I didn't feel it was too bad. For the photos, Kevin was the photographer and we sent it off to an online passport photo processing to make sure it complies with the Msian passport requirements. It looked a whole lot better than the previous photos and cost so much more less. Then, I found a notary place just near my house and it also handles Fedex stuff. I'm just glad that my residency card still has some years left and I don't have to worry about that right now. :)

The kids are growing so fast. Kurt Iskandar is now scooting everywhere. He's really fast too. I can only imagine when he starts to crawl. He's reaching and out to try and grab everything in his sight, putting everything in his mouth. Brigitta Nurilham seems to increase her vocab with one word a day. She's learning to knit sentences together. Sometimes she knits 2-3 different languages together to make a sentence which makes me feel kinda bad but Kevin says not to worry. I'm amazed at what she can do though - she can count up to 20 in 2 different languages, up to 10 in 5 different languages, recognizes her alphabets, knows words in 3 languages, knows colors, shapes, sings tons of songs, and colors well. BTW, she's not even three years old and she doesn't attend preschool. Do I sound like the annoying parent who boasts about their kids all the time? heh heh..you bet I do.

Ziggy, our cat has also grown. He's more loving and wanting attention all the time now. He loves to sleep on my bed. Allows the kids to touch him before he runs off. He's really good with them which is great. Rimau however, runs off and does her thing. She'll come down the stairs even when there's new people in the house but she will never let people touch her. She does tolerate me though. But my favorite part about Rimau is that she will sit right at the back of my head on the sofa at night. Feels kinda nice that she chose to sit so close to me.

Sigh..now all I want is world peace (honestly I do) and maybe a couple of million bucks. LOL! :)

--
Haniza Zainal Abidin - Schlosser

Kids playing 2

2011-07-15T13:36:00.001-07:00

Kids playing 1

2011-07-15T13:35:00.000-07:00

Exhaustion is a part of life now.

2011-07-12T23:55:00.001-07:00

I'm exhausted daily, mostly from waking up 2-3 times a night. In the day, just from entertaining Kurt and Brigitta, and also going to classes, playdates etc. Even when we're at home, I'm a little bit less tired but still there's laundry, cleaning, etc. I love my smartphone coz that's how I keep track of FB status, read news and play games (PIMD anyone?) but I can only concentrate on it a few mins a day.

Kurt is now turning and scooting around like a champ. He gets bored more easily and also is distracted during nursing..if he hears a sound, see a flash of anything, he's off the boob. Which means that I will stop nursing him coz I need to do something, and if I'm in the middle of something or have to drive after that, he will scream blue murder wanting to eat.

I'm trying to get him to sleep more in the day so that he will learn to nap better. Brigitta hates to nap but I must admit, she has improved from when she was younger. I think coz I've learnt how important naps are. It allows me to have lunch, have restroom breaks, do prayers and if I'm lucky, have a nap myself. So far, most of the time, it's nap time for one and not the other. Oh and everytime there's an emergency, some forgotten item or something accidental happen, Brigitta will say, "Oh Gooood" because she heard me saying it so many times.

Kevin has been really wonderful in helping out, and supportive too. Unfortunately, his work is also very heavy so even when he's at home, he has to be on the phone or sending emails out. This includes weekends. But, we made it a point to go to a fun place on weekends like a theme park or an event, mostly for Brigitta's sake. However, that means chores in the house are sacrificed - the backyard is not cleaned up from winter and we still have speaker cables that needs to be moved since our furniture re-arrangement a few months ago.

I better go, it's midnight and I think Kurt will wake up in 30 mins for his nighttime feeding.

Later!

Haniza

2011-07-06T10:27:00.001-07:00

What a page turner.

Hello from Iskandar

2011-07-06T10:26:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to read a book here. No photos please!

Quiet means something's up

2011-07-04T17:10:00.001-07:00

We heard brigitta waking up from her nap but she didn't come downstairs. Sometimes she plays with her toys which is normal. After a few mins, I checked up on her and found her holding washable markers painting herself and her bed. Here's a photo:

Nursing in the night

2011-06-27T01:08:00.001-07:00

Here I am, busy nursing Kurt Iskandar and it's nearly 1am. The good thing is that it means when he sleeps, he will probably/usually wakes up 5 hours later.

Brigitta Nurilham was not like that. She woke up every 3 hours or so. Only till very recently she's starting to sleep through the night.

My theory is that she was prodded and poked during her stay in NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) usually during her sleep that she's scared of sleeping.

Kurt however was with me in the room for about 90% of the time. He gets into a tantrum before sleeping but he falls asleep faster and easier.

Ok I better hold this guy properly. He's a squirmed.
T$ypIng ftom iPhone..(but not driving)

On Danny the dragon ride

2011-06-12T14:42:00.001-07:00

Going to the zoo

2011-06-12T14:41:00.001-07:00

Kurt at 4 months

2011-06-12T14:38:00.001-07:00

Sleeping on my lap. :)

My cousin's preggers and she's not here. :(

2011-06-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

I just found out that my cousin who's based in London is 38 weeks. She's one of my closest cousin, we are the same age, and during school holidays almost always meet up. We also have very similar values and outlook. Like me, she ended up marrying a non-Malaysian. Actually, she got married first before me. I'm so happy that she's expecting and also pleased that her baby is going to be the same age as Kurt. They're just 4 months apart!! However, I am upset that we're not closer. I'm already upset that my kids are not going to see their cousins all the time.

First my kids are in a small minority of the population (only 15% of marriages in US are inter-racial), secondly, we don't have family physically close by and I worry that they will feel totally alone growing up. I had my two cousins of the same age and every time we meet, we're thick as thieves. We play so much together - we do plays to present to our parents, we dance, make up stories, sing, etc. We grew up together, advised on each other's boyfriends/girlfriends and so on. Now, that we're adults we are not as close but those memories of playing together always warms my heart.

She does have a couple of regular playdate friends which is great but we're all going to go to different playschools and we might not see each other so often after they start school. I do hope that this is not such a big deal. What they don't know, won't make them miss it. And I'm sure she'll make friends as she grows up. Maybe I'm the one that misses my family.

Ah well, maybe with the advancement of technology my kids will grow up with their relatives..just in a different medium. Here's hoping.

--
Haniza Zainal Abidin - Schlosser