Creative Musings

"Allow the child to have real-life enriching experiences in School Breaks"

2023-03-14T16:00:00.005+08:00

I have read with interest some of the letters to the editor (Straits Times) in the past month on what local primary schools can learn from international schools in Singapore. As a mother of 2 boys, one who attends an international school and is now in Grade 10 (O level equivalent) and other who attends a local primary school (now in P5), I have often been asked THE burning question, “Which system do you think is better?” I always skirt the question as I don’t have I have the expertise to declare one system better than the other and I don’t have the right to generalize.

However, what I repeatedly say is based on my personal experience. While my elder son has not once in his 13 years of schooling (he has been attending the same international school since nursery) complained about going to school and is sad to miss school even on days that he is unwell or we are on holiday; it’s the complete opposite for my younger one who cried every morning while going to school from P1 to P3, is wiser now so does not shed tears (crying won’t help him to stay at home and if he does it will just add to the workload the next day), but goes to school every morning stressed and anxious (did he finish the tons of home work assigned, did I sign his notebook, is he forgetting something- the list is endless) and comes home drained out and crestfallen. His first sentence on returning home often is, “ Mama, I have lots of homework today.” I have rarely seen him smiling while going to school or while returning from it, and it tugs at my heart because I don’t see him enjoying his time at school - something which I feel every child deserves.

And it’s not just my experience – too much homework is a common refrain of all local school parents especially in P4-6. Just take a look at parents on various Facebook groups scratching their heads over unnecessarily hard Math problems, parents that attend Mandarin lessons themselves in order to teach children better, mothers quitting their jobs to support their kids in PSLE years, children getting panic attacks, parents struggling with managing hectic time schedules in between homework, CCA, tuition classes and in the midst of it trying to keep their child myopia free and getting requisite number of hours of sunlight.

The other day my son resignedly said, “I have no life right now, I think only once I finish my schooling, will I have a life.” Can I blame him when a one-week term break that he was looking forward to, also has turned into hours of studies every day? Between the online and the physical worksheets for every subject assigned as “holiday homework” there is easily 25-30 hours of work. As a parent I feel frustrated and sad – how about giving the child a breather, how about giving the child an actual break – so he or she can spend some time reading, exploring, bonding with family, visiting new places and gaining experiences that merely academic texts and worksheets cannot provide. Perhaps a visit to the Science Center or a nature reserve will reinforce his classroom concepts in a more fruitful way.

I remember when he was younger, both of us would joyously plan his holidays, deciding what movie to watch or what museum to visit. Now we are planning on what assignments to finish on a daily basis, so at least he is able to go to the play area or game awhile with his friends (all becoming increasingly difficult day by day.)

And then there are other glaring underlying issues - how do you ensure 9-10 hours of sleep for a child who is up till late in the night finishing his assignments because he had to stay back after school for an extra lesson but was still assigned homework for the next day? How do you ensure that a child who is always fearful of being reprimanded in school, grows up as a confident, self-assured person? How do you expose the child to real-life enriching experiences so that his outlook expands, when he does not have the time to look up from his books? How do you ensure he stays active and healthy when he barely gets time to play? How do you inculcate softer skills in the child that sets humans apart from and makes them superior to technologies such as ChatGPT that are disrupting how we assimilate and disseminate knowledge.

I am facing these challenges when my son is an above average kid, doing reasonably well in studies and his father and I are there to support him. I shudder inwardly to think of those kids who are unable to cope with the pressure or who lack the family support. I have zealously protected him from tuition lessons thus far, despite hearing how I have missed the boat and will suffer later, from dozens of well-meaning mums with kids in local schools. I just do not have it in my heart to torture him with more hours of classes and extra work.

So, while I cannot comment on better, I can say the local schooling system can learn a thing or two about making life at school less tedious and more happy from their international counterparts. And these are my reasons for the very obvious differences in happiness quotient in both the systems:

Difference in school start time – While most international schools start at 8.30 am or later, local schools start at 7.30 am. As the workload increases in terms of extra lessons and homework, this means lesser sleep hours since the child can no longer afford to go to bed early. A child who is not well rested will naturally feel grumpier and more anxious.

School environment - Discipline is great but smiling at a child or motivating him to do better is not going to make him brash or wild. Why can the teachers not celebrate a child’s achievement? How much effort does it take to say, ‘’ You’ve done well! Or You’ve written well!” ‘ I am proud of you.” When I visited my younger son during recess in P1, I was stumped at how intimidating the atmosphere was. The teachers didn't smile. They yelled at the fear-stricken children to form queues and move on. These were 6 year old's just out of their loving preschool cocoons - didn't they deserve a little kindness, a softer tone? This was a complete contrast to how my elder son's experience in primary years was even though he was a very naughty child.

Curriculum structuring – Every activity whether it be enrichment classes, CCA, coding lessons or even external exams such as Olympiads are conducted after school in local schools. This means that P4 onwards, the children end up staying back most school days. The poor children leave their homes at 7 am, return at 5 pm or later - toiling longer than office hours - and still don’t have the time to unwind.

Rigor of syllabus plus volume of homework - Hands down, the quantum of homework and the difficulty of work assigned in local schools is the most glaring differentiator from international schools; leaving no room in a child’s life to indulge in the activities he enjoys. One can use all time management techniques in their armor but still find it hard to push an already tired child through all the homework and make sure he / she makes it to bed on time. For my elder son, I could enroll him in sports and music lessons that he enjoyed because there was little or no homework pressure till Grade 7 (Secondary1), after which he was old enough to progressively adapt to the increasing rigor. Term breaks meant a complete break from studies and I could encourage him to do Word puzzles, Sudoku at home, attend a fun camp or just take him out to relax.

I don’t find any logic to why the English comprehension worksheets have to be so hard or the science questions so confusing for a P4/ 5 student - what is it that we are preparing these kids for, I wonder? There are days that my husband, me and my elder son are all poring over my younger son’s challenging Math problems – by the end of it we are all exhausted and stressed – I commented wryly the other day, “At least, this is encouraging family bonding!”

Worst effect of this taxing, grueling system: The child loses his love for learning, everything is a chore that needs to be done or he will be punished, shouted at in school rather than to do to expand his knowledge. My son often tells me he regrets being good because if you are banded in the top class, it just means more homework, more challenging worksheets. It is actually a travesty of the system where the child instead of taking pride in being good, finds it burdensome and wants an escape.

I hope that the ministry, the schools and the teachers find it in their heart to allow the children to enjoy their holidays, enrich their lives with real-life experiences and have fun once in a while because childhood is not only about doing well in studies and acing PSLE - it’s a lot more and it slips away really fast like sand dust through our fingers!

Isha Foundation Inner Engineering Completion

2019-04-25T18:43:00.000+08:00

I attended the Inner Engineering completion course in March 2019 where I was initiated into the 21 minute kriya called Shambhavi Mahamudra. My completion course came in a year and a half after completion of the Inner Engineering 7 module online course.

About the Inner Engineering Completion Program:

Every aspect of the program has been designed lovingly by Sadhguru and delivered by the ever joyful, humble volunteers. Everything was perfect- from the ambiance to the timeliness and flow of the program to the pranic food we were served. Even the white rose given to us at the end of the program refused to wither for 20 days and mine has now found pride of place in my copy of Sadhguru's "Inner Engineering, A Yogi's Guide to Joy."

While the program was steered by devoted full time volunteers of Isha Foundation, the initiation into the Mahamudra itself was led by Sadhguru in his orotund voice over video. The humbleness and selfless joy of service that the volunteers displayed all through the program was unparalleled and humbling. There was a sense of calm in the room as we sat listening and absorbing with great anticipation but at the same time there were palpable undercurrents of energy pulsating through the room, reverberating along with our collective voices as we chanted.

It was probably the intensity of the emotions that made me choke up and cry toward the end of the initiation. I am not sure what happened but letting the tears flow down my cheeks and clothes unabashedly, in the midst of dozens of people I had met for the first time, felt oddly liberating.

Key Takeaways from the Program:

Following are some of the teachings that I have brought back with me from the program and from many of Sadhguru's discourses and books, teachings that I consciously wish to work on/ imbibe in my life.

Being joyful is not the end goal of life, it is the only way to live in order to achieve any goal in life.
This moment is inevitable. And since it is inevitable any angst and regret that I associate with it is just a waste of energy.
Life and every living being presents a possibility.
I cannot control life's situations and extraneous circumstances but I can control my reaction/ response to them.
I do not have to live by chance, I can lead my life consciously and make choices for myself. I can choose to be unfazed and joyful today, whatever might be the external situation.
I am "a being" beyond the limitations of my body and my mind. I have the potential to touch wider dimensions of life, if I choose to.

25 days of Shambhavi Mahamudra, What Has Changed?

It has been 25 days since I was initiated into Shambhavi Mahamudra and 25 days since I have been practicing it every day. I wish I could write about how this practice has completely transformed my life and made me a more patient and happy person. But to be honest, I haven't gone through this huge metamorphosis - at least not yet.

However, I have faith that one day it will work for me. This is because as a person I have been very skeptical about spiritual teachings in the past and I would promptly dismiss anything that my logical mind could not digest. For the first time I have come across a spiritual path that doesn't promise the achievement of any fanciful goal, it allows you to explore and supports you in your journey. To my skeptical mind, it makes sense as I can choose how far I go. And that is an achievement in itself - when skepticism gives way to acceptance and possibility.

On the physical and physiological front again, I wish I could report that practicing the kriya has led to weight loss and boundless energy (as many people do) but again I haven't quite reached there. What I have achieved are tiny little nudges of motivation - I have a history of slip disc and am suffering from cervical spondylosis presently. I used to find it really hard to sit in one position without backrest for more than a few minutes. But practicing the kriya has made it possible for me to sit in a meditative posture for long without experiencing discomfort and pain.

I am now also able to stop my mind's chatter (I used to be constantly distracted by things that I needed to do or even conversations from the past while meditating) and focus inwards while practicing the kriya.

I am planning to volunteer for Isha Foundation's programs to deepen my experience. I will surely return to share my experience with those who are walking this path with me and even those who are standing at the forked road waiting for a sign to start their journey!

To Dad - My Unassuming Mentor

2017-07-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

"I wish Daddy there weren't always problems to solve and people to please,

I wish there were moments that could be mine to grieve, to heal, to be just me.

I wish life gave us a second chance to be together and undo all this pain,

I wish Daddy I could be your little girl again...."

Grief has many shades I believe - it can be shiny, glistening white; it can be dark and somber black and more often than not it's a looming grey- the grey being the most overbearing- a hue that engulfs your heart and mind at all times like that cloud in the sky that threatens but doesn't rain. It strikes your mind in flashes and with a thunderous clap, it overpowers all that is around you in that moment. It silences and deafens, it shocks and stuns.

This grey in all its broody expanse has consumed my spirit at the moment as I struggle for answers within and outside. My father - my unassuming mentor. my inspiration and my confidante, passed on to another world-very unexpectedly, very suddenly.

Life has stayed the same in a weird way but changed completely in another. There is a sense of having been cheated - How could he have just left without a goodbye? How could the timing be so wrong? Why could God not have given him a chance at survival? Why were we not given a chance to help him survive? Why there was no second chance as it is for so many people?

There is an immeasurable sense of despair as I seek solitude and peace to be able to come to terms with his loss but when I get that solitude, I want to run from everyone including myself and this reality. And when I try to find solace where there seems to be none, when I pine for answers in a sea of "what ifs", when I try to feign acceptance even when every cell of my being is filled with disbelief- there emerges a forced realization of the sheer impermanence of life- in its physical form and the transient nature of the spirit within.

In the far and few moments of calm, I feel a sense of gratitude for the time I spent with him, for the memories captured both on film and in the mind. I feel gratitude for the outpouring of love and affection from friends and neighbors. I feel gratitude that he went without suffering, without being dependent on anyone even for a day (it's almost as if he went on a long walk but lost track of time and left his physical form somewhere along) - this being the only positive in a painful, shocking situation.

And then there is that feeling which tugs at my heart all the time- a sense of regret and guilt at the times not spent together- the times when my inner voice urged me to be with him but everything in the physical world including my Dad, himself stopped me....the regret at having let those physical voices subdue and submerge my inner voice. The regret at having made decisions in life that could have hurt him, regret at not having appreciated -enough, his immense devotion and sacrifice in raising me as a capable and responsible adult. The regret at having failed to be at his side when he might have needed me, the regret at not being able to do anything to help him survive- the regret of being far and reaching oh so late!

"But Daddy, I want to tell you today, that through all these feelings of helplessness, grief, despair and regret, I can feel your love shining through in all that I do, in all that I achieve and in all that I ever will.....I hear your voice Daddy- caring and calm -as if you are on the other end of the phone - guiding me through, helping me to be true to my conscience. And I know that even though I can no longer call you or share with you proud moments of your grand kids, that I can never hope to see you standing at the airport to receive me; YOU will always be my confidante, my mentor, my guide, my shining light! Love you and miss you deeply Daddy! Praying every moment that you are at peace.... "

Musings...

2017-01-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

"There I sat looking out for the rain that didn’t fall,

Listening for the birds that didn’t chirp,

Waiting for the letter that didn’t arrive.

There I sat pining for the love I could never have,

Craving for the passion I could not rouse,

Longing for the life I could not live.

There I wept alone and forlorn,

Regretting fate's chances that had passed me by,

Remembering those who had too soon said goodbye!

There I sat for infinity with closed eyes,

Tiny cascading droplets caressing my cheeks,

Taking me by sweet surprise!

There I sat with a smile touching my lips,

Humming in my ears, tickling my soul,

Feeling the love within, making it mine!"

I have attempted a poem after ages....I know it comes across as very amateurish but I wanted to pen it down nevertheless...who knows when the next spark of inspiration will strike or if it ever will.....of course I hope it opens a Pandora's box and I can improve on this in the coming days. Fingers crossed!!

Mid-life Crisis or Second Coming of Age?

2015-07-23T00:25:00.001+08:00

Not by choice, but by law of nature, I am at the threshold of my life's heavier, greyer, reflective half - the mid-life! (Note: I am relying purely on statistics and averages here, no tarot reading or palmistry is involved!) So, I am wondering if, behind that grey lock that refuses to mingle with its black neighbors or that obstinate belly fat that no yogasana is able to dislodge, there is also a crisis lurking to engulf my mid-life?

Is there a reason behind the madness- those flashes of despair interjected by sparks of giddy hope, boredom replaced by bubbly enthusiasm, self-loathing shooed away by self-adulation? Is my propensity to swing from a deep meditative state to bollywood twist, and from Shantaram to Fifty Shades of Grey in the blink of an eye, a product of my budding mid-life crisis? (the hormonal changes have taken way too much beating anyway)

Conversely, should I also credit my mid-life with a 'growing up' experience, a kind of 'second coming of age' when the tinted glasses worn at the 'first coming of age' 2 decades back, finally drop off? The age when naivete gives way to experience, when proving ourselves to others is passe and proving ourselves to our own self seems necessary.

So is the mid-life crisis real - manifesting itself in physical changes, emotional swings and social shifts or is it a hype created by anti-ageing formulas, fertility clinics and spiritual gurus?

An internet search on the subject reveals that mid-life crisis can strike anytime after 35 years of age and that men and women respond to the crisis differently. So while women go through a lot of emotional upheaval, especially if the children are ready to 'fly the nest' and start a self-exploratory journey, men work aggressively and urgently towards a tangible goal.

I think middle age is the age that works on averages even on a macro level, redefining norms and standards set by society, family and biases we have grown up with. It opens up people to the idea of pushing boundaries and exploring uncharted territories in unexpected ways. It may take the form of exploring quietude for those who have always lived on the edge or it may lead to a quest for adventure and thrill for those who have hitherto lived a sheltered life.

Yes, middle age seems to be at the cusp of "What have I achieved so far?" and " Let me do this before it's too late." An age when all those fancy ideas about growing up, maturity, freedom sworn by in the past go through the shredder and get replaced by 'fancier' ideas about spirituality, philosophy of life and ironically about fun, fitness and healthier choices!

It is a time when you have a bagful of experiences and are still hungry for more, when you have memories a plenty but are still looking to create more. It is an age you spend reminiscing a lot, reflecting a lot and if you are not careful then regretting a lot! It's as if you are crossing a bridge and know that you have to hurry to get across but for some reason you keep looking over your shoulder, mentally measuring the distance you have covered from the start.

It is difficult to wish away the tangible signs of mid-life that smile back at you as you stand in front of the mirror every morning. But if we start looking ahead, then mid-life presents more of an opportunity than a crisis. This- the second coming of age is free from the burden of chasing a career, a suitable partner, starting a family or of seeking acceptance and is thus sweeter!

Yes mid-life makes you realize all in good stead that:

The journey and the struggle is more inward than outward,
The freedom to be is more important that the freedom to do,
Life throws lemons faster at you than you can make lemonade,
Rebellion does not end with teenage, it is necessary to keep rebelling against inertia life-long,
Life is in the small things

Last but not the least, as Abraham Lincoln famously said, "In the end it is not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years that count!"

So I have decided to celebrate my second coming of age and letting my life in the mid-years and beyond count! Have you?

'The Fault in Our Stars' by John Green - A Heartfelt Book Review

2015-01-28T15:39:00.000+08:00

Hazel Grace, in 'The Fault in our Stars,' "But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”

The book, 'The Fault in our Stars' by John Green can easily be brushed aside as another tragic love story of two teenagers. But read it the way it is meant to be read -with your heart, between the lines and you will be enamored by the world the author has created for Hazel and Augustus, the star crossed lovers.

The book is tragic, it's poignant, it is heart breaking but even in the face of the inevitability of separation and death, it is not without hope and joy. And that is what sets the book apart.

For me, the book celebrates love and life within the finite boundaries of life and the infinite possibilities of timelessness. It is about the understanding that no forever, however long, lasts forever and that no now, however short, is any less than that forever.

The book is a must read for all those who love being in love. It is dedicated to all those who yearn for a soul connection with someone and find it only to have to let it go too soon. The book is a reminder to live in the moment and to find joy in the little infinities captured inside the bigger infinity.

I smiled through my tears while reading through the 313 page long book and that sums up both the tragedy, the sweetness of love and the intensity of emotions between Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, beautifully and powerfully captured by the author.

To give the author due credit, he even managed to insert funny moments into such a tragic tale and the literary eloquent conversations between the two 'sesquipedalians' was riveting even though sometimes they bordered on the superfluous.

However, the reader is left to wonder that, if the fictional author in this book, Peter Van Houten had chosen to explain the aftermath of his book, 'An Imperial Affliction' to Hazel and Gus, had he not been the temperamental, wasted guy he was portrayed as; would it have taken away from the main plot of this book? Was it necessary to add the tragedy of an unrequited wish to a story which was already sad? Was it because the author also wanted to convey that in real life one should not be foolhardy or romantic enough to stake it all on one wish, the fulfillment of which is not in one's hand? As Augustus remarks,

Or did he want to say that some things in life and like life tragically remain like that- unfulfilled, incomplete, unanswered?

There are some beautiful, emotionally intense lines in the book which will be quoted for years in the world of romantic fiction.

These are my favorite ones :)

Books I Love to Read Aloud- Part 1 - 'The Gruffalo'

2014-08-19T14:53:00.002+08:00

'THE GRUFFALO'

The Gruffalo is a 15 year old classic children's book written by Julia Donaldson and illustrated by Axel Scheffler that has sold over 4 million copies worldwide. I recently borrowed the book from the library for my 2 year old and had no inkling before I turned its pages that I would love it just as much as my boy does! From the time we borrowed the book, we have read the book tens of times without once getting tired of it! I love it when my son who has memorized most of the lines from the book, finishes my sentences and prompts me on the next line.

"Oh help! Oh no, its a Gruffalo!"

"What's a Gruffalo?"

"Why didn't you know? With his terrible claws and terrible jaws, Gruffalo is the most loved monster ever to set paw!"

Here's my take on what makes Gruffalo the classic, super loved hit that it is?

A. The Storyline - Gruffalo's story starts with a hungry little brown mouse making his way across the deep dark woods to find food. On the way he is accosted by the fox, the owl and the snake all who want to devour the mouse. The witty, clever mouse escapes being made cold meat by these bigger and fiercer animals by weaving a tale about an imaginary animal called the Gruffalo. And he remains unshaken even when this fearsome imaginary monster comes alive and is ready to eat the little mouse "on a slice of bread." How the little mouse tricks the animals into believing he is friends with Gruffalo and Gruffalo into believing that these animals are afraid of him is as clever a tale as can be.

These lines from the second last page of the book sum up the story well;

Mouse: "Well, Gruffalo, you see? Everyone is afraid of me. And now my tummy is beginning to rumble, my favourite food is ----Gruffalo crumble"

"Gruffalo crumble!" the Gruffalo said, And quick as the wind he turned and fled.

B. The Characters - The characters are simply adorable! The mouse, the fox, the snake, the owl and even the orange eyed monster are all endearing! The name 'Gruffalo' is created imaginatively by the author as she was looking for something ending with 'o' to rhyme with "Why, didn't you know?" has the potential of becoming a legend ....we might have generations of children asking their mothers, "So does the Gruffalo really exist?"

C. The Story-Telling - The book is perfect for reading aloud because of how the lines rhyme. The author Julia Donaldson says, she had written Gruffalo originally as a poem and it shows in the narrative. It is a pleasure both for the reader and the listener as the lines roll smoothly on the tongue and ring well on the ears, "Here by this stream and his favourite food is owl-ice cream." Also the vivid story-telling gives plenty of scope to the reader to modulate the tone and play with the words and expressions. It is possible to say, "A Gruffalo" in a hundred different ways depending on who said it and why? This makes Gruffalo a splendid book to read aloud to kids!

D. The Illustrations - Children's books are more about the illustrations than about the stories. Young children are often able to follow the storyline only through the illustrations and look forward to seeing these each time the book is read. The animator for the book, Axel Scheffler has created masterpieces in the book; undoubtedly without his brilliant illustrations Gruffalo would be nothing of the roaring success it is! Every expression of the character explains the story line explicitly. From the smug expression of the mouse to the wide-eyed expression of the owl to the amazed expression of the Gruffalo- its all etched out clearly page after page in Alex Scheffler's clever illustrations!

E. The Moral - The classic 'David-Goliath', brain over brawn storyline of Gruffalo gives life's lessons in a subtle yet clever way. The mouse escapes his fate not once but four times only because of his sheer wit, fearlessness and presence of mind!

My rating a 10 on 5. A highly enjoyable, book recommended for all ages - 18 months to 80 years! If you haven't read this classic yet or are looking for a book to read to your child, go for this. You will not regret it. For me, next on the Read Aloud list, 'The Gruffalo's Child.'

Some more info about the book;

'The Gruffalo' was voted The Children’s Book of the Year at the British Book of the Year Awards in 2005. The Gruffalo, has won many awards, including the the Blue Peter Award for The Best Book to Read Aloud – and in 2009 was voted the UK’s favourite bedtime story. Gruffalo's sequel, 'The Gruffalo’s Child' was introduced to the world in 2005 and became an instant hit. Gruffalo's story has been translated into over fifty languages for readers all over the world. Both the stories have been adapted for the stage as well as have been made into successful films. To know more about the book visit their official website, http://www.gruffalo.com/which also has songs, printable images and where little gruffalo lovers can create their own cutsie monsters! The 15th special anniversary edition of the book is available now in leading bookstores and online stores worldwide.

My son enjoying his fav read - The Gruffalo!

Book Review- The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom

2014-07-30T14:48:00.002+08:00

The first thing that came to my mind after reading 'The Timekeeper' by Mitch Albom was "Thank heavens, I didn't buy the book." I had come very close to buying the book on more than one occasion since it was on the top 10 bestseller list but somehow desisted each time and I thank my stars I did.

So, I borrowed the book from the library instead (at least I didn't pay for it!) to appease my curiosity.

Right from the start, I knew this was a book I wouldn't enjoy but I carried on reading in the hope that something good would come of it. But alas it did not! Nothing appealed to me in the book- neither the storyline, nor the narrative, nor the characters and definitely not the annoyingly slow pace of the book.

The book was boring, tedious and too much of a fable to digest for a grown-up mind! It's a story about a man who will later be known as Father Time as he is the first man to try to measure the gift of time. He is banished for centuries for this crime, relegated to a cave where he can hear sounds from Earth seeking time or chasing time while he himself remains shrouded in timelessness, not aging in centuries.

If this seems childish, it seemed even more ridiculous when Father Time- Dor descended on earth and quite predictably started working in a watch store where he come across the other characters from the book- Sarah and Victor!

The life-stories of Sarah and Victor are presented in an absolutely uninspiring fashion too. So you wonder why should a man live 6000 years to save a hysterical, suicidal teenager and an eccentric rich old man out of the millions of other people with real problems- even if this is just a fable.

And even if you knew that there was bound to be a 'time' sooner or later in the book where all the 3 characters will cross paths and you obviously keep your hopes high for that climax, the actual incidence doesn't give any sense of satisfaction to the reader.

Perhaps it is because the way the book is written, the stories of each of the characters jarringly keep cutting into one another and the reader is unable to form a connection with any character.

What I took away from the book is the philosophy of time and that of the futility of trying to race it or challenge it. But it did not make any deep life-changing impact on me- this was something I and I believe most readers would already know. Perhaps in this time-crazed world, we do not pause to reflect on it but it is not really new.

Over all I felt a disturbing nothing after reading the book! (usually a character or piece from the novel stays on with me for days and weeks). But I felt nothing after reading, 'The Timekeeper' except relief that it was such a short book!

My final take on The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom: 2 on 5. The intent of the book is good, but the narrative leaves you dissatisfied. Perhaps it is not time yet!!

Summer Holidays- Keeping the Kids Gainfully Engaged!

2014-07-03T15:14:00.002+08:00

Vacations over....kids are back to school...and I am back to some serious writing n (not so serious) blogging.

This vacation we decided not to venture outside Singapore...husband is super busy, it's extremely hot and we have been travelling a lot in the last 2 breaks of December and March....so we decide to save some money and the sweat and make do with what is within Singapore ...which is a lot actually!

This left me with the onerous task of planning activities and events that could satiate (read as: exhaust) my boisterous boys and maintain my sanity. This is not easy - it is in fact tougher if you are staying put and not travelling than if you are travelling where in you just pack your bags and go......so my planning started a month ahead of the vacations.

I planned for a combo of activities - some inclined to enhance knowledge, some that gave them the needed adrenalin rush and some pure, innocent, family fun (the last one keeping the younger one in mind since he is too young for many adventurous/ knowledge based activities)! My hubby took a couple of days off from work so we could have some family bonding time but the rest of the 28 days was my sole responsibility.

First Stop- 3 day Space Robotics Camp / 3 day of Royce Kids Gym fun

I was looking for a short Camp for my older son something which he would find interesting and which would feed his insatiable sense of curiosity! Last year he had attended a Lego Robotics Camp at Orchard which he thoroughly enjoyed. But this year I needed some place which also had an indoor playground/ gym area nearby to keep my 2 year old occupied as well. I chanced upon the perfect place - Liang Court at Clarke Quay.

Though it meant a whole lot of commuting for me as well as a whole lot of coffee (I carried my laptop along and worked on my writing assignments at Starbucks or Coffee Bean), it was the perfect place because it had WondersWork which was doing this Space Invention Camp and on the same level there was Royce Kids Gym- a fully equipped indoor playground- any preschooler can happily spend hours in!

In his Space Suit - which was definitely one of the highlights of the camp!

Explaining the invention to Mama!

With his creations at the camp

As you can make out from the pics, these were 3 well spent, exhausting but memorable days for both the kids and me! Akshobhya got a certificate for being a Space Inventor, a space suit and his taste buds got a treat of astronaut food- Neapolitan dried ice cream !

Enjoying his favourite play- Thomas & Friends Engines

Enjoying Cheese Pizza at Shakey's

Akshit at Royce Kids Gym

Akshit loved playing with Thomas & Friends engines and learned a whole lot of engine names (the flip side he keeps asking for them at home and has even learned to say, "Mama, let's buy Gordon and Emily"!

And for all the 'hard work', the kids were treated to chocolate sundaes at Mc Donalds every single day and my elder one also insisted on trying out the Shakey's Pizza which he swore was the bestest pizza he had ever had !!!

Hey! Mothers deserve some downtime too don't they? So for all my hard work- I got myself a luxurious body massage at the Spayuri Spa after packing off the younger one home post his gym fun on the last day!

Stop 2 - Tampines Regional Library - Bonding over Books!

One good habit that I have managed to inculcate in both my kids is their love for reading and love for books. Even my younger one can sit patiently turning the pages of an interesting picture book or listening to an older person reading to him. My elder one is blissfully as addicted to reading as he is to his playstation and this is one addiction I don't mind- in fact I do all to encourage it - I know once a book lover, always a book lover!

So for 2 evenings in the hols, I took them to the library where they spent hours browsing, reading and selecting books and CDs to be borrowed. The elder one explored the e-kiosks and learned how to check in and check out books while the younger one patiently waited for his turn at the stationery toy train which is a sought-after treat for all young kids visiting the library. Both my otherwise hyperactive boys were pretty well behaved in the library and I was really proud of them! And it is no secret that I am a certified bookaholic too so this was like an indulgence for me too- books all around and 2 surprisingly toned down kids - pure, unadulterated bliss :)

Stop 3- Rise and Shine Breakfast Carnival @ Lawn-Marina Bay on June 14th, 2014

Ever since I learned about Rise & Shine-expo's very successful record breaking breakfast carnival held in March 2013 ; I had vowed to take the kids to the next one wherever and whenever it was held. So I jumped when it coincided with the kids' school holidays. Kiddos and me were both looking forward to the event and the late risers woke up on time and got dressed to join hundreds of other families at the Lawn, Marina Bay!

But the fickle Singapore weather had other plans. When we reached the venue at 9 am it was terribly terribly hot and humid- the kids forgot all about enjoying and everyone was trying to fight the heat! Anyways we braved the registration queue, collected our mats and hampers, lay down our mats and were just spreading Nutella on to the bread slices - when the skies suddenly turned dark, there was a dusty, strong gust of wind which blew away our hats, umbrellas, picnic mats and the assorted balloons kids had collected on their way in. While we tried to retrieve these, it suddenly started pouring and everyone was soon scrambling towards the exit with kids in strollers and picnic paraphernalia in hands!

So much for the plans to participate in a record- breaking event! As disappointing it was for us, I felt really bad for the Rise & Shine team who I knew had spent months and months in planning and organizing the event - and it was just tossed out by a sudden change in weather...too bad! Though I vouch for the sudden change in weather and sympathize with the organizers, I think they should have been prepared for this eventuality given that it was an open-air event and given that Singapore weather can be very unpredictable.

We had a similar situation at the Cold Storage Kids' Run last month when it suddenly poured but there were these provision tents everywhere where families took shelter and the staff ran around handing out umbrellas and ponchos. Perhaps it would have made sense to give caps and ponchos in the door gift packets- would have been appreciated by the families with young kids!

Stop 4 - River Safari - Visiting the River Safari was something the whole family was looking forward to. So we used one of my hubby's leave days to venture for the river safari. The weather thankfully was good - neither too hot, neither did it rain so we all enjoyed the wild life associated with all the major rivers of the world. The star attractions were definitely the pandas- two giant ones -Jia Jia and Kai Kai and two small red ones and the giant manatees (cow fish) at the large aquarium. Truly, a day well-spent!

Stop 5 - Revisiting Singapore - Open -top SIA Sightseeing Bus and River Cruise -

We've done both these activities before but this time round it was especially for the younger one. He loves riding in the bus- and so sitting atop a double decker bus was doubly exciting for him and he thoroughly enjoyed 'being as high as the trees' and 'almost as high as the cranes' at construction sites we passed by. My elder one kept changing seats on the almost empty bus and thoroughly enjoyed the wind in his hair!

We also took the river cruise on the Singapore river - this was a bummer of sorts since families shockingly split up inside the boat such that each member of the family was at the window.....so families like us had no choice but to take the non-exciting aisle seats and that too in different rows!! It was disappointing except for the breathtakingly beautiful sound and light show which we were able to see from the boat.

Stop 6- Beach & Fishing Fun - East Coast Park - This was the family fun I was speaking of. The plan was to go to Sentosa but since the plan was made quite at the last moment, we opted for the nearby East Coast Park instead. The kids had a blast catching the fish at the Fishing Center (which we encouraged them to return to the pool as they would have died by the time we reached home after dinner). Then they played in the sand ( I think there is nothing more that makes all kids happy than to play in the sand and water) , built their pools and sand castles, played ball and disc and everyone was happy having good old fashioned family fun :)

At the beach

Fishing Fun!

Stop 7 - Movie - I pestered my husband to take Akshobhya for a movie and he obliged. Akshit is too young to enjoy a 2 hr movie and I think its a torture both for the young kids and the parents to be taken into a cinema hall when they'd rather run around and play. So only one of us from my husband and me could accompany Akshobhya for the movie....he had actually wanted to watch Spiderman -3 but after reading the reviews on its violent content - we had given it a miss.

So they both took off on a Sunday afternoon to watch, "How to train my Dragon -2?" while I caught on some sleep as the younger one luckily slept that afternoon! More than the movie, Akshobhya enjoyed the Fanta (a rare treat as we don't normally allow him soft drinks) and his caramel popcorn!

Stop 8 - Live Turtle and Tortoise Museum at Chinese Garden, Jurong - This had to be the most unlikely places to visit but I chanced upon a review of the Live Turtle and Tortoise Museum - a privately owned museum housed inside the Chinese Garden at Jurong....which is surprisingly quite famous - it is mentioned in the Guinness Book of World Records and believe it or not houses more than 1000 live specimens of terrapins, many of which are rare. So we tied it up with the scheduled visit to the Science Center as they were both in Jurong. The museum is fairly small and it did not take us too long to cover it. But the kids enjoyed petting the turtles which were moving around freely and feeding them. My elder son was quite tickled by the fact that they were being fed ladyfingers :).

Stop 9- Science Center- Human Body Experience and Star Gazing/ Planetarium - So after the Turtle Museum, we all trundled to the Science Museum on a hot and sultry afternoon. While the younger one played around and saw the various exhibits (the Kids Stop was unfortunately full), Akshobhya was accompanied by his Dad into the real-life 'Human Body Experience' exhibit which he declared was 'awesome''!

Later they queued up to see the planetarium and see the planets with the help of a large telescope. Again the feedback was that it was an awesome experience except the fact that the snaking queue took 3 hrs to reach the telescope and the viewing time allowed was barely 45 seconds. Nevertheless he did manage to see Saturn and its rings as the sky was relatively clear. I have heard stories of how people queued up to see nothing but clouds as the sky turned black! Akshobhya was so exhausted that ''surprise, surprise'' he slept off in the back of the taxi.

Stop 10 - Indoor and Outdoor Playgrounds- The fun did not stop here as I made sure they get plenty of outdoor and indoor fun. Every morning I took them to playgrounds outside the condominiums, far enough for them to get exercise but near enough to get back if the little one was too tired or it rained! They rode their scooters and played on the swings and slides.

Two evenings were happily spent at Terminal 3 of Changi Airport which boasts of the tallest (4 floors up) indoor slide in Asia, followed (by popular demand) by Pizza at Pastamania! On evenings when nothing else was planned I took them to Changi City Point where they played in Timezone and rode on the motorized animals.

Stop 11- Home Fun with Indoor Games, DIY Experiments, Movie and Recipes- And for those lazy lazy afternoons / rainy evenings, we played carom and monopoly, spinning tops and beyblades, read books and even had our own theater- movie experience with Tom n Jerry running on the DVD player and DIY sandwiches, popcorn, cookies and juice :)

Carom- the only game I can beat my son in !!

Movie/Picnic time at home

Aren't holidays the perfect time to try some new recipes. In fact I tried quite a few but the one that the kids were most interested in was that of 'Kulfi' which I introduced to them as Indian Ice-cream!

My maiden attempt at making kulfi was quite successful and the kids finished off all the moulds in 2 days flat! Yipee! The tragedy was that I could hardly eat them as I had a terrible, persistent cough.

Stop 12: Achievements and Accomplishments...We did it!!!

So I had an 80% success in executing the activities planned- we just didn't manage to take the kids to the Trampoline Park and Sentosa from the list but hey there's only that much you can do!! I do get a feeling of deja vu since we did cover practically everything else on the list including my son's demand for science experiments at home (yes despite my scepticism we did one in which he observed the formation of crystals using Epsom and common salt and another one displaying how an electric circuit is formed using 9V battery and pencils and another one where musical instrument can be made by using simple drinking straws!!!).

Akshobhya trying out the electrical circuit formation

In the baby pool

And yes (Pat on my back) I managed to make my elder son study for 1 whole hour in the day on at least 20 days out of 30 (barring the days when we were out for the whole day or had guests)....even though he complained over and over again that I was the only Mama in the whole world who made their kid study in the holidays...but I held my ground. To make things easier for both of us I let him 20 mins of fun studies which translated into IXL Maths (which he loves) or writing a diary (We even named it 'Diary of a Whiz Kid' which really did the trick as he is reading the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series these days) in which he wrote about all the activities he did in the summer hols (for me it was a perfect way to test/ improve his handwriting, essay writing skills, punctuations and spellings without him realising it.....yes I can be a cunning mother when I want ha!ha!)

And we also achieved success in potty training my younger son and weaning him off 1 bottle feed out of 3 that he takes in the day. (flip side- we spent a lot of time reading and singing to him while he sat on the potty 4 times a day before actually doing something :) and it's difficult to convince him to take his afternoon nap without the bottle feed) but I know it's a transition phase and it will be better soon.

Reading while sitting on his potty seat :)

Whew! Isn't that a whole lot of work done in the span of a 1 month vacation- and you still have the nerve to call them vacations...lol???

And if you are wondering if I, an advocate of the beauty of nothingness, didn't allow my boys a moment of unplanned, holiday nothingness.....the answer is that I did - I ensured they had plenty of downtime......actually despite all these activities they still had a good share of unscheduled, unplanned time in the day when they were free to watch cartoons, play with their friends, read books, draw and create or just idle around....I let them sleep in late on days we didn't have to venture out early because what's holidays without some extra hours of sleep and some lazing around?? But here we are talking about approximately 14 hrs of engagement per day *30 days (for the elder one) and 12 hrs of engagement per day * 30 days (for the younger one) so I don't think we could have survived the holidays without some amount of planning.

How about you? Do you plan the kids' vacations from before? Do you believe in keeping them fruitfully engaged or allow them to spend the holidays carefree? Do write in with your comments....

An open letter to my dear son on his 7th Birthday!

2014-05-23T12:57:00.000+08:00

To,

My dear son, my super-hero, my little champ!

As you turn 7 today, memories of when I carried you back home in my arms from the hospital 7 years back come flooding to me. I remember the time the doctor held you up to show me how you looked; how the nurses and doctors at the Redbridge Hospital in London surrounded you, marvelling at how well formed your features were! They were meant to be- after all I had nurtured you in my womb for 42 weeks -a good 12 days after the due date!

I remember the time when the nurse placed you on my chest and in my arms for the first time and you flicked your eyes open for a second- a wave of emotions- so strong, so overwhelming enveloped me, that in that instant I forgot the gruelling 48 hours of labour I had gone through to give birth to you. It was magical and even though I didn't realise it then, that moment changed my life forever.

May 2008 -1st Birthday

It is true when they say, "A mother holds the baby in her womb for 9 months but in her heart forever."

From then on, till now, I have grown as a parent, I have made mistakes (who doesn't), I have floundered, I have felt guilty but I have tried, I have honestly tried hard to parent you well! And when you grow up, my son, I hope you will realise that every moment of every day, Mama had you and your best interest in her mind and heart, even when she was disciplining you and even when you said you never want to talk to me, ever, for the hundredth time!!

May 2011, 4th Birthday

May 2013, 6th Birthday

I hope you will realise one day, that Mama tried to always cherish you with love and do whatever it took to make you happy! And even though Mama cannot be physically with you all the time- and as you grow Mama needs to let you go sometimes, to let you be on your own, to find your own space, make your own friends, take your own small decisions and fight your own battles - Mama wishes she can be around all the time, protecting you from everything and everyone who can hurt you!

Today is a day of celebration and I want to celebrate the joy of being your mother and of you being my son, my firstborn. I want to celebrate all the moments- the moments you have made me so proud that my chest seemed to explode; the moment you said something really sweet and made my day; the moment I hugged you and you hugged me back with abandon. Yes we have had moments filled with anger and disappointment and angst but which relationship doesn't? And this is a relationship which is as pure as the first toothless smile you gave me 7 years back! So I hope you will cherish this love in your heart forever just as I will today and always!

Happy Birthday, my champ :)

Love,

Mama

Sporting the Intellectual look

At the soccer fiesta

The First Marathon Runner of the family ...after completing an 800 m sprint

With his little bro

Training our Boys' from Young to create a Safer World for Women!

2014-03-03T15:53:00.003+08:00

I have been trying to write this post for many many days now....have edited and re-edited the text and the structure over and over again since I feel very strongly about this subject and fear that my words will get carried away in the heat of my emotions.

On the one hand, March- the month in which we celebrate spring, colours and the empowerment of women -beckons us and fills us with happiness and pride; on the other hand incidents of crime and harassment against women in India continue to pound the headlines and shame us. As another incident from my home town in northern India comes to light; it again lent credence to my belief that this dismal state of women's safety in India cannot only be a product of external influence that it is conveniently blamed on (immigration from smaller towns, influence of the media, exposure to western culture),- but rather a product of how we bring up our sons or rather how we choose not to bring them up!

Of course, media does play a part- our children, especially young boys are exposed to games and TV shows are shockingly violent and hero-centric. Their's is a world that is centred around physical strength, a world where brute strength alone gives you power, respect and the freedom to snatch whatever is not rightfully yours while the physically weaker one is always subjected to ridicule and isolated.

But I believe that cause for this decadence of culture is way deeper- it is rooted in our attitude towards boys and girls from the time we bring them into the world- to how we shape their social behaviour as they grow up- to how we expose them to the skewed male-centric balance at home. Perhaps it is to do with how we cover up wrongdoings with the expression, "boys will be boys", while teaching a whole lot of 'culture and tradition' to our daughters and burden them forever with fear and insecurities about how they dress, talk, walk and form social relationships.

Perhaps it also has to do with how we bear upon our daughters with advice on how they must avoid notorious elements in college and on streets but forget to tell our sons not to turn into those notorious elements! Perhaps it also has to do with how we reserve the pre-marital lecture on duties and responsibilities towards the spouse, the marital home, the in-laws and the children for the bride while sparing the groom the boring conversation!

Perhaps it has to do with the fact that every incident of sexual harassment in India ridiculously debates on what the girl did wrong to fan the unfettered hormones of a male- was she wearing the wrong clothes?, was she alone?, was she in a lonely place?, was she hanging out with boys'? as always finding it convenient to shift the onus of the horrendous crime on the victim- the girl.

Perhaps it is is time to shift the focus and train our boys' psyche right from childhood so they grow up as sensitive and respectful beings.

I wish we could all teach our boys a few simple things as they are growing up (I vow to teach my boys as and when they are old enough to understand) ;

Just as boys will be boys- it is OK for girls to be girls. Live and let live.
It is totally uncool to bully or harass someone just because you are physically stronger than her/ him.
It is equally uncool to have fun at the cost of harming another living being.
Treat your female friends, class mates, colleagues and the girl you see in the mall or in the bus- as fellow beings. You don't need to worship them or treat them as your mother and sister. Just respect them as fellow beings, don't objectify them.
It is perfectly acceptable to be attracted to the opposite sex and admire their physical differences but it is unacceptable to abuse these differences.
Women are created differently by the creator so that their bodies can do what your bodies cannot - procreate!
Women are mentally tuned differently too but that is not a sign of weakness.
Don't treat women's views as an affront to your masculinity. Real men listen!
When you marry don't just think whether the girl is suited for you and your family - also check whether you, yourself are mentally ready for marriage (not just financially). Are you ready to forgo at least some of your 'me time' for your significant other? Are you prepared to compromise or adjust at least sometimes? Most men (especially Indian men) walk into marriage expecting nothing to change in their lives.
It takes more than a bank balance and seven vows to make a good husband!
Similarly, it take more than sperms and money to make a good father!! Being a father means putting your child's interest ahead of yours- yes, sad to break your bubble but even fathers have that duty!
Don't pass judgements on women in your present life based on the women you grew up amongst. You have come a long way with your fancy gadgets - why should they be relegated to the past?
Finally, take responsibility for what you do right or wrong, even if it does not affect you but someone else. Be empathetic to other's feelings, not apathetic.

A related post that I am working on - International Women's Day- Can we ever truly be 'Nirbhaya (fearless)?'

Mutton ''Dum- cooked'' Biryani !

2014-02-18T15:51:00.002+08:00

I have always pressure-cooked our Biryanis for obvious reasons- it is easier, faster and healthier. But for a long long time I had been toying with the idea of making Mutton Biryani in the famous '' Hyderabadi Dum'' way and not the mundane pressure-cooked way!

Finally, last Sunday I wrenched the opportunity from my hubby who is always eager to cook mutton dishes. I did have an idea about how I wanted my biryani to turn out but just to improve on these ideas, I scoured the net. I ended up picking up cues from several recipes of the dum biryani on the net. However, I did not follow any particular one by the book but kept customising as I went along. I will but make a special mention of the recipe by Sanjeev Kapoor of Khana Khazana fame - as it seemed the most straightforward and time effective.

Dum Mutton Biryani

Serves 4-5

Base Ingredients;

Rice- 1 1/2 half cups washed and drained. (Basmati rice is good for Biryani )
Mutton- 600 grams washed thoroughly- mixed pieces

Ingredients for marinating the mutton;

Yoghurt - plain - 1 Cup
Onions- 3 Medium sized onions, deep fried- browned, crispy and crushed
Ginger paste- 1 tablespoon
Garlic paste- 1 tablespoon
Garam Masala- freshly ground mix of cumin seeds, cinnamon stick, green cardamons, peppercorns and cloves.
Turmeric powder
Chilli powder
Coriander leaves
Salt - to taste
Vegetable Oil- 1 tablespoon

Ingredients for preparing the Biryani rice;

Bayleaves
Red Dried chilli- 1/ 2
Cardamon seeds- green and black
Cloves
Black peppercorn
Cinnamon sticks
Onion - 3 medium, sliced
Onion - 1 medium, deep fried and browned
Saffron- A few strands mixed with milk
Mint leaves
Salt
Ghee

Preparation:

Marination;

Mix all the ingredients for marination together and marinate the mutton pieces generously with it for 3 hours. Refrigerate.

Preparing the Rice;

Boil water in an open saucepan, temper it with 1/2 bayleaves, 1 cinnamon stick, a few green cardamons and cloves.
Boil the rice in this water till it is 3/4 th cooked. Drain and keep aside.

Preparing the mutton;

Heat a tablespoon of ghee/ oil in a wok - add in the crushed black cardamon seeds, cinnamon stick, black peppercorn, dried red chilli and finally the sliced onion.
Fry till the onions are translucent.
Add the marinated mutton pieces frying them on high heat for about 7-8 minutes.
After that cover the lid of the work and cook the mutton pieces on low heat till they are tender.
This process is likely to take 45 minutes to an hour - the mutton pieces must be tender and well-cooked but not dry.

Final leg of preparation - Preparing the Biryani

Take a deep bottomed pot/ handi or pan, layer the bottom with ghee.
Spread half of the rice on top of the ghee.
Put all of the cooked mutton on top of this rice.
Put the remaining half of the rice on top of the mutton.
Pour the saffron milk.
Garnish the top with mint leaves and deep-fried onion slices.
Close the lid.
Layer the edge of the lid/ pan with dough evenly making sure not to leave any gaps for the steam to escape.
The Biryani is now ready to cook on low heat under ''dum.''

Biryani cooking under dum - see the steam droplets on the lid

How to make sure your Biryani is ''done under dum''?

If you are cooking under dum for the first time, it might give you the jitters to think of ''what may be / may not be'' cooking inside that pot as you cannot open the lid to check.

Fear not, trust your instincts and keep checking for fresh steam being made inside the pot. This will appear as tiny droplets on the lid (using a glass/ transparent lid is helpful). If no fresh steam is being made, your biryani might be already cooked and you might need to remove it from the fire before it gets burned.

The second way to determine is to feel the hardness of the dough- once the dough is hard and ready to crack, you know your dum biryani is ready to devour.

It took my biryani a good 30 minutes to cook under dum. Yours might take a tad more or a tad less - keep an eye on the steam and the dough and every thing should go as per plan.

Serve your Biryani hot with a Raita of your choice. My suggested choices- Cucumber Raita (grated cucumber mixed with yoghurt and tempered with roasted cumin seeds) or Mixed Raita (chopped cucumber and tomato, sliced onion and diced green chilli mixed with yoghurt and tempered with amchur powder and salt) are good to go -along!

Special Tips

If you are really looking for an amazing experience do not short-cut on any preparation time or ingredients;

Freshly grind your garam masala and you wont miss the packaged biryani masala sold in the market.
Do not cut-short the marination time for the mutton or the time taken to cook it in the wok.( Do not pressure cook as much as you might be tempted to - by experience I can vouch that there is a phenomenal difference in the taste and texture).
If you want it the 'dum' way, do it properly, again low heat, layers and oodles of patience do the trick!

The result will be quite amazing as you can see in this pic! Feedback from the family was that it looked and tasted like (even better) than the biryani we eat in specialized restaurants. The mutton was succulent and the rice perfectly cooked.

The only drawback I faced was that my stockpot was too huge to cook for 3 adults and 1 child so I had a hard time making layers. But since the recipe has been a runaway success, I intend to soon invest in a handi and repeat the magic!

The Final Product- Home cooked Hyderabadi Dum Biryani

Health Alert:

This dish though yummylicious is heavy on the stomach and will not really help if you are trying hard to tame that belly! I wouldn't however advise you to cut down on the ingredients as that will affect the taste.

My advice would be to enjoy this dish once in a while in a smaller portion size (in other words don't gorge!!) - you can save some for the next day (biryani tastes yummier when kept) or call friends over to share with you!

Have fun with this recipe and do get back with your comments/ feedback!

Book Review- A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

2013-10-17T15:05:00.000+08:00

"Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always."

I just finished reading Khaled Hosseini's second novel, 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' published in the year 2007. After reading "The Kite Runner," author Khalid Hosseini's first international best seller -a beautiful, compelling story, I was hoping 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' would not be a let down which is mostly the case with successive novels of nouveau best-selling authors. Fortunately, 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' strengthened my faith in Khalid Hosseini as a master story-teller, an author who touched human emotions and struck a chord with them.

What I was not prepared for were these cascading emotions that enveloped me in their fold- sometimes in the form of despondency, sometimes anger, sometimes empathy but mostly hope - hope that also nurtured and sustained the 2 female protaginists of the novel- Mariam and Laila all will be well one day; hope that there will be better days when there would be no unfairness, no injustice, no helplessness; hope that a time will come when the two women will be at least respected as humans; hope that their dreams will also find a cloud, that their thoughts will also find a voice someday.

The story set in Kabul and Herat in Afghanistan traces the stories of two women - who grew up in very different circumstances from each other, in different times and how their destinites intertwined such that hostility paved way to a deep friendship, a bond that defied all odds. The story traces how the women stung by the harshness of life find kinship in adversity giving them both a reason to live and die for!

“Laila has moved on. Because in the end she knows that’s all she can do. That and hope.”

As easy as it is to sympathize with Mariam and Laila, it may be just as easy to be critical about Jalil, Rasheed and their likes in the story but then you realise how the fabric of society in Afghanistan is torn- continually pulled apart with political unrest, foreign intrusions and extremism. The harsh, cold, barren terrain of the place, the difficult living conditions and the lack of opportunities only serve to harden the people with a hunter-chase-lion-lion -chase-goat syndrome. The physically stronger (aka the man who is supposed to be the protector of the family) always turning on violently against the physically weaker (the women and children of the family) in cruel, unforgiving ways.

But to me the book is not just about how Afghanistan's power handles changed hands from Soviets to the Mujahedeen to the Taliban and the Americans, it is also not about the injustices meted out to women....... to me, the book, A Thousand Splendid Suns is about the indomitable human spirit -it is about a woman's reslience and will power, it is about a mother's sacrifice, a daughter's obesience and a friend's loyalty. The story is about undying love, surprising braveheartedness and yes hope - hope that breaks over the horizon like a thousand splendid suns!

“One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs, Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls.”

If you have read the book, do share your views with me. As for me- I have already picked up Khaled Hosseini's third novel, ' And the Mountains Echoed'.....fingers crossed that it would be as good a read as the first two!

Also published on Good reads with a 4 star rating; https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/704006860

Rise & Shine Parenting Expo - My Experience

2013-10-16T16:05:00.001+08:00

The Massive Electronic Billboard in Suntec

The last weekend of September saw excited parents thrronging to the Suntec Covention Center, the venue of the most anticipated parenting expo of the year in Singapore- the Rise & Shine-Expo! There seemed to be something for everyone... pregnant mums to-be to mums with 3 kids in tow; cute babies to spirited toddlers and bright enthusiastic preschoolers. There were contests, workshops, seminars, products, brands, stage performaces and a lot more.

The expo was touted to be fun, informative, educative and useful (in terms of shopping experience). Spread over 3 days, the Rise & Shine -expo proved to be all of this and much more. Crowds were better managed than in most expositions I have attended in Singapore and though Saturday was the most rushed, by way of simply spacing out the contests, calling particpants to register at least half an hour before the events by way of email reminders and arranging keynote seminars and workshops on an entirely different level than the exposition halls made the difference between packed and over-packed! In fact I was expecting long queues for the door gift and goodie bag redemption but that was pretty cool and surprise, surprise most of that freebie stuff in those bags was actually useful!!

I had registered my older son for the 'Color my Feelings' drawing and coloring contest. The contest was sponsored by the Fish book company and the contest entailed a very novel concept- expressing emotions through a fish's body language and expressions- so there could be a happy fish, an angry fish, a sad fish ....I am sure you've got my point by now....sounds easy but ain't that easy!. Anyways, my son enjoyed the contest even though he didnt win a prize and he was happy with the extra 3 black drawing sheets and crayola crayons (its amazing how kids can really find joy in the most simple of things)!

My son at the contest - Fishes Galore!

Later, I heard that the Coloring Contest set a new record of the largest number of contestants across various age groups to have participated under one roof! Kudos to the Rise & Shine team. See the children hard at work here with parents and siblings in tow!

After the coloring contest, we roamed around in the Exposition hall and he came across these interesting block sets by Triquo which he tried his hand at and then coaxed me into buying.....I didnt need much coaxing as these do seem interesting and creative.

On our way out he spotted the Wall-climbing (Rock climbing) and we let him try his hands and feet with it. I can proudly say he was pretty good at it and in fact did two rounds then and there. We might sign him next year for rock climbing classes.

While Daddy took the tired boy home -content after the contest, purchases and adventures, I headed down to level 3 where I was to attend a Workshop on Multiple Intelligences by Dr. Thomas Armstrong. Though all the workshops by Heidi Murkoff (best selling author of the What to Expect series), Dr. William Sears (the Attachment Parenting advocate) and by many famous Specialists and Consultants from Singapore hospitals seemed interesting and educative ...if I was to choose one workshop that would enhance my knowledge and my parenting - that workshop had to be Dr. Thomas Armstrong's Workshop on Multiple Intelligence.

I had heard of the concept of Multiple Intelligence proposed by Howard Gardner but wanted to learn more. Dr. Thomas Armstrong not only introduced the 8 intelligences (what he called 'Smarts') to the audience but kept us captivated with his witty life- examples and engaged the audience with little hands-on, to-do exercises like. I had the opportunity to meet him for a few minutes after the session and to my delight he passed me his card.

To those who are curious, the Multiple Intelligence theory proposes that one way (or only the academic way) of measuring intelligence in every individual is a faulty one. According to the proponets of this theory, there cannot be one, single standard way of measuring every child's intelligence and every child possess one or more of the eight intelligences - namely,

Logical (Number smart)
Lingusitic (Word Smart)
Spatial or visual ( Picture Smart)
Bodily or Kinesthetic (Body Smart)
Musical (Music Smart)
Interpersonal (People Smart)
Intra-personal (Self Smart)
Nature smart

Dr. Armstrong's Workshop at Suntec Convention Hall 301

To find out more visit Dr. Armstrong's website @ http://www.slideshare.net/ThomasArmstrongPhD/september-28-2013-singapore-eight-ways-of-teaching-handouts-revised

I am sure Rise & Shine which has done a spendid job at this exposition will tie all the loose ends and come back with a smashing, improved version of their exposition next year. Looking forward to it!

On Board with the Dreams Infinite Foundation - Empowering Women through Education, one Scholar at a Time!

2013-10-01T15:01:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone...today my blog post is very different...its neither parenting oriented, nor is it a book review or a recipe...its rather about women empowerment and about my very recent association with a wonderful organisation called the Dreams Infinite Foundation. Read on....

A couple of weeks back, I was approached by the founder of a volunteer-run, non profit organisation called Dreams Infinite Foundation to provide content for their website and blog. The lady very graciously wrote in her mail that due to the organisation's structure and size, they could not compensate me monetarily but it would be personally satisfying as it was for a very good cause.

Intrigued and still a bit sceptical I visited their website and Facebook page and read about the organisation's ethos, its mission, its team and its efforts. I found out that in their own small but spirited way the Dreams Infinite Foundation was paving the way for Women Empowerment in the small towns and villages of India. I learnt also of their flagship initiative to sponsor the vocational training for girls' through scholarships. These were girls who were meritorious, hardworking, ambitious and deserving but were unable to obtain higher education and employment as they belonged to marginalised, low-income families.

The Dreams Infinite Foundation has partnered with Medskills, Edubridge to provide life skill and vocational training that can help them become independent, self-reliant and enter the job market in the health care and the retail and BPO sectors. The biggest achievement of the Foundation has been to partner with the District Institute of Education and Training in India (DIET) where the girls can obtain Teachers' Training under the D.Ed 2 year program) and can become teachers in local government schools on completion of the course. The first 10 sponsored girls are already pursuing their training and are on their way to becoming self-reliant teachers. The Foundation is now aiming to garner support and sponsorship for 50 more scholars in October.

Of course, there are many, many such organisations in India and elsewhere that are trying to do their own bit and sometimes it can be a confusing world....a world you can choose to ignore or mistrust. But something...maybe the sincerity of their cause, the dedication of the team, the transparency with which they matched donors and scholars made an instant connect with me and I called Karuna (Karuna Malhotra, the Founder-Chairperson of Dreams Infinite Foundation) to tell her I was on board...that I would love to write for them and their cause.

Karuna in turn invited me to meet her for a cup of 'chai' (tea). We met the following week but with the afternoon sun blazing over our heads, we decided to skip the chai and settle for refreshing nariyal paani (cocunut water) instead. The more I spoke with her, the more I learned about the Foundation- their goals, their field work and their self-less, tire-less work towards the achievement of their goals.

I found myself asking questions- "Why only these girls, why not others?", "Why vocational training, why not basic education?" Karuna patiently explained everything to me and I realised that only ambitious plans are not enough - practical feasibility of a project in a country like India is very important for its success and vocational training for deserving girls may be the best way forward.

I found myself giving ideas on how to market, how to conceptualize and strategize, how to make the scholar stories more appealing. Soon we were drawing out the future plan of action for the Diwali campaign and I am happy to say that I am now officially on board this very very noble mission! The Dreams Infinite Foundation has very kindly invited me to be a part of their Executive Team (https://dreamsinfinite.org/about-us/team/) and I am indeed honoured !

If you wish to learn more about the organisation, its founders, its partners', its ethos and its mission please visit their website @ or connect with them on their FB page.

The Dreams Infinite Foundation is looking for volunteers in Singapore and India who can help them grow and work progressively towards the achievement of their goals. If you are interested, do drop a mail at info@dreamsinfinite.org . If you wish to make a donation to sponsor a girl's vocational training, please visit the link @ https://dreamsinfinite.org/donate/ .

The illustrations are the creations of Shilpi Pratap, the very talented Founder-Trustee of the Foundation

'Lime n Lemony' Lemon Rice - A Healthy Vegetarian Lunch Box Idea and My Third Culinary Post

2013-09-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

My 3rd culinary post is a healthy vegetarian dish. This recipe of lemon rice is inspired by the recipe on 'Manjula's kitchen' website. Back in Delhi when I was working, one of my South Indian colleagues used to often bring lemon rice for lunch - till this day I remember the delicious lemony aroma and flavour of the dish.

What is most appealing to me is that the lemon rice is simple to prepare and easy on the stomach. It is perfect both as a packed lunch as well as a simple dinner dish to go well with sambhar and raita or even some grilled veggies. It can be made in a jiffy with ingredients that are readily available in any kitchen. (in fact I even read that leftover rice can also be used to prepare the dish.) My son really enjoyed the dish because it contained "no visible veggies!'' Of course the fact that it is a very healthy dish containing lemon which is good for the stomach and rich in Vitamin C, energy food -rice, peanuts that provide good fat and a tadka of protein in the form of daal, is the clincher for me.

The Cooked Lemon Rice

Time for preparation: 5 minutes
Time for cooking: 30 minutes

What you need;

Rice - 1 Cup
Roasted Peanuts - 1/4 cup
Oil -2-3 tablespoons
Salt - to taste
Cumin Seeds
Curry Leaves
Mustard Seeds
Red dry Chilli -1/2
Green Chilli -1
Lemon Juice -1/4 cup
Pre-soaked Chana Daal - 2 tablespoons
Turmeric Powder - apinch

How to Cook;

Boil the rice with just enough water, 2 tablespoons of oil and salt to taste. The cooked rice must have a fluffy feel to it.
In a tablespoon of oil in a non-stick pan or kadahi, saute the roasted peanuts till they change color. Take the peanuts out and keep aside.
In the same oil saute the cumin seeds and mustard seeds till they change color, then add in the chilli and curry leaves. Fry for some time.
Add the pre-soaked chana daal and fry for a few minutes.
Now add turmeric powder.
Lastly put in the cooked rice, salt, lemon juice and peanuts and stir-fry for few minutes till the rice is done and all ingredients properly cooked.
Serve hot with yoghurt.

I hope you enjoy the recipe. As for me I am hoping to convince my son to carry the lemon rice to school ... I think it's a healthy tiffin idea packed with all the natural good ness of lemon, rice, daal and nuts...!!!

Honeylicious Chicken Wings - My Second Culinary Post

2013-09-04T14:55:00.000+08:00

Last week, my elder son gave me the 'bestest' compliment ever (yes, yes I know there is no word such as bestest but I can't resist using it today, so kindly excuse) - "Mama!" he exclaimed, "your honey chicken wings taste even better than Pizza Hut's. They are the bestest!!!" My husband seconded this though not in so many words! I was thrilled as my elder son is an extremely fussy eater and the dining table more often than not resembles a warzone. Moreover, he has just recently taken to relishing home delivery's from Pizza hut and Dominos (which I wish to discourage as far as possible).

So here I present to you the recipe of the 'Honeylicious Chicken Wings' as my second culinary post. The recipe is vaguely based on one I read in a cookbook years back and from then on I have been improvising and it is now my very own signature recipe!

I am painfully aware that my presentation of the dish or rather the lack of presentation is quite pathetic and there should have been pictures taken at every stage of preparation and cooking to give a more professional look but hey! I will get there by my 10th culinary post - till then just try out the recipe and enjoy! I promise you won't be disappointed :).

Honeylicious Chicken Wings

Preparation Time : 10 minutes

Cooking Time : 20 minutes

The Ingredients

Chicken Wings - 8

For the marinade

Olive Oil -1 tablespoon
Honey - 2 tablespoons
Ginger Garlic Paste -2 teaspoons
Light Soya Sauce - 2 teaspoons
Salt - to taste (remember the Soy sauce contains salt so if you prefer less salt, skip the extra serving)
Freshly Grounded Black Pepper -1 teaspoon

The Process:

Mix all the marinade ingredients together.
Marinade the chicken wings thoroughly, lightly piercing the wings with a fork to allow the marinade to flow through.
Keep for 2 to 3 hours.
Grill the chicken wings in a griller or oven for about 20 minutes, turning the wings over after 10 mins for consistent browning. ( I used the grill in my Sharp Healslo Supersteam Convection Oven and microwave)
You can brush the wings with a little olive oil before grilling to give a more crispy feel.
Serve as a side dish or starter (my son loves having it as a complete dinner dish with hot chappatis)

To test that your dish has been cooked to perfection, gently fork it- the fork should be able to go right through and the chicken should easily come off the wings. The grilled wings should be crisp on the outside and succulent on the inside with the juices flowing clear. The best part of the dish is that it requires very little preparation time and is absolutely non-fussy.

The 'Honeylicious Chicken Wings' can serve as a great starter for parties, a side dish for dinners and an excellent choice for barbecues. Children will love the taste as it is not-spicy, tangy (with a hint of sweetness) and easy to devour!

Do try the recipe and give me your feedback.

Co-sleeping - My Experience

2013-08-29T13:29:00.001+08:00

An article in Huffington Post that I accidentally stumbled upon drove me into writing this post.

This article showcased a shocking, controversial health ad by the State of Milwaukee in the US that warns parents on the dangers on co-sleeping. In the advert, the baby is showing sleeping next to a big knife and it says,"Your Baby Sleeping with You Can Just be as Dangerous." I could not believe my eyes and read and re-read the article and the ad to make sure that I had understood them correctly.

Both my children have slept with us on the family bed so I was curious to know - can it really be that bad? I researched some more and realised it was all about taking a few simple common-sense precautions. Click here to read my article on Co-sleeping pros and cons published on the Rise& Shine website.

My Personal Experience with Co-sleeping

The article and the advertisement also brought back memories of when I had a brush with this Western concept or rather stigma that they attach to co-sleeping. I gave birth to my first child in London, UK and I was warned in the hospital not to make my baby sleep with me.

But, in the wee hours of the morning post the delivery night, when for the umpteenth time the nurses gave me my son to nurse and calm down, I was just too exhausted to put him back in the crib again. I also did not want to press the help button and call the nurse (with the ''there you go again'' look) anymore. So I just lay my baby next to me and for the first time in so many hours, my son calmed down and slept and so did I. I didn't care what this was called but to me it was instinctive and it seemed logical to have the baby right next to me where I could reach him, soothe him if he cried, nurse him if he felt hungry and knowing that he was right next to me allowed me to close my eyes and relax for a while.

Of course even in sleep, my maternal instincts were at work....my arm was holding him firmly and there was no way I would have let him roll off the bed or would have climbed over him (which the anti co-sleeping proponents fear). Predictably, the morning nurse doing the rounds was shocked at seeing this and chided me like I was a five-year old caught being very naughty. But I couldn't care less- I needed this, my baby needed this - I had spent the whole night either listening to him bawling helplessly or pressing the call button for the nurses to attend to him or pass him to me while the other mothers glared at me.( I was sharing a room with 5 other women and their newborns because NHS hospitals are badly over-stuffed and understaffed and they had no single bedded room vacant.)

Back at home, we had a Moses basket generously gifted to us by our landlady and we used it occasionally but most of the time my son slept with my husband and me. I still remember when the NHS nurse came to check where and how the baby slept two days after my discharge, we quickly shifted him from our bed to the basket and lied to her that he sleeps in the basket all the time!! We were petrified- as we had heard of cases where they deem the baby is at risk and they issue a warning to the parents or even take away the baby. What a shame, we thought!...nevertheless we could not bear the thought of our little one being taken away from us for something which was so personal and so natural in India and so we were forced to lie unabashedly about it.

What angers me most about this whole hullabaloo over the supposed dangers of co-sleeping is how little faith the medical system in the Western world has in parents and their own sense of love, protectiveness, responsibility and parental instincts. Whatever happened to the concept that "parents know best?" I was livid because they assumed I was at par with the lot of teenage mothers (UK has a huge population of young, teenage mothers) who may be too immature to take care of their babies or worse still, they assumed that my husband & me would smoke in bed with a newborn on it (didn't they also have it on record that we were both non-smokers) or we would be so inebriated that we would roll on the newborn in sleep or suffocate him with our heavy comforter.

Now of course with all the hype on Attachment Parenting, caregivers are rising to the fact that co-sleeping with certain common-sense precautions may not be so bad - in fact it may even be important to allow the physical proximity, the bonding between the mother and child, it may be helpful in establishing breastfeeding and may even prevent SIDs by attuning the babies' sleep and waking up patterns to the mothers' pattern in the initial months post-birth.

Both my children have shared our bed when they were young - my elder one slept with us till he turned 3 after which we slowly trained him to sleep on his own bed in his own room - he is 6 now but often wakes up in the middle of the night, walks to our room - and curls up anywhere he finds a little space. My younger one, who is 16 months old sleeps with us and will do so for another year after which he will share his elder bro's room. I did try to make him sleep in a separate cot at the bottom of our bed for a while, but finding it really cumbersome to feed him at night, shifted him back to the bed.

Not to say, that there aren't any days when we do wish for a little more stretching space on the bed, a more relaxed sleeping experience and some privacy but at the end of the day we won't have it any different than what it is now- an arrangement that accords peace of mind to us as parents and a halo of loving security to our children!

This was my story, my view-point. Do share your views on the subject with me...your own experience on where you made your children sleep and why....

This is a recent pic of both my sons sleeping cosily on our bed

Mind Your Gym Etiquettes!!

2013-08-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

3 times a week, when I enter the condominium gym and climb the treadmill, my eyes instinctively find the many rule boards dutifully pasted on all the walls- " Gym users must be properly attired at all times", announces one board , "No entering the gym in sandals or swimsuits." The other states the obvious, " Gym users are advised to carry their own towels. " A third asks users to be considerate and limit the use of the treadmill to 30 mins to allow those waiting to have a chance.

Then I look around and wonder about the unwritten rules, the so called gym etiquettes-how many of us bother ourselves with these?

When you enter the gym how do you acknowledge the people inside? - with a curt nod of the head (hmmm you are a fitness freak like me, are you?) or a know-it-all smile followed by a smirk (you come here once a month isn't it - and you had to make today that day)?
What must be done of those people who stroll on the treadmill or worse when the two aunties on adjacent machines yap away while you wait for your turn?
How much eye contact must you make with the person using the treadmill near you?
How may times should you check your own sweaty, hair swept-up reflection in the mirror and grimace?
Most importantly, how many times are you allowed to peep to check your partner's workout summary? To tell the truth, I have been tempted many times and have even managed a few peeps mostly when the other user's eyes are covered with sweat which he/ she is hastily wiping with a towel !!! More than comparison, I check the stats and follow it up with some mental maths - "this guy is running at a speed of 7.5 at an incline of 8, he has burnt 80 calories in 15 mins, what incline and speed should I use to better him?" This inspiring peek-a -boo not only helps me climb a few extra metres for a few extra minutes, it helps stave off the intense boredom that strikes me during every workout and that threatens to throw me off the treadmill ever so often!
Are you allowed to gloat over the fact that you burnt 100 more calories today than the damsel in those tight shorts?
Is it ethical to wish silently that - 'the woman who began her workout 20 minutes before you and is nonchalantly carrying on even though you are now panting like a dog and your legs are threatening to buckle over any time'- breaks her leg while stepping off the treadmill and cannot return to give you an inferiority complex for a month?
Is it ethical to gape at a handsome, hulk who doesn't care for anything in the room but his biceps?
Finally, how should you leave the gym- acknowledge those who are still at it or dash out while pretending to take an important call- giving the "I could have exercised for an hour more - only I have more urgent matters to attend"over your shoulder look?

Do you frequent the gym? Have these thoughts crossed your mind? What are your peeves about fellow users? Do you think they care for the unwritten gym etiquettes....do share your thoughts with me.....Till then happy gymming everyone and keep fit!!!

My Maiden Culinary Post- Baked Pomfret with Mint Stuffing

2013-08-21T15:59:00.001+08:00

This is my first culinary post folks and I am hoping all of you will encourage my maiden effort.!

I have been inspired to dish out this post by a few of my friends and fellow bloggers who post recipes on a regular basis. And whenever I happen to view their blog posts, I plan to pen down my own culinary escapades (which are a plenty as I love cooking). But usually in my house, the dish is consumed and burped down before it can be arranged and photographed!!! And my blog post is forgotten till the next time I read another interesting recipe.

I am even more thrilled about this post as it is a fish- recipe. Seafood including fish is not my strong point in either cooking or eating. I belong to North India where non-vegetarian food is limited mainly to chicken and lamb. But my husband, an Oriya relishes fish and my kids also love the texture and simple flavours of fish such as salmon, cod and pomfret. So I decided to give this dish a try. I was also inspired by a similar dish I ate at an Indian restaurant in Singapore which looked great and tasted even better.

Fresh out of the Oven

Ingredients

4 Medium Black or White Pomfret - cleaned, washed with the head removed.

For the marinade:

Mint - 2 bunches
Coriander - 1 bunch
Onion - 1 medium
Ginger - 3/ 4 strips
Green Chili- 2 medium
Cumin Seeds roasted - handful
Lemon Juice - of half a lemon
Tomato -1 medium
Oil- 2 tablespoons
Salt - as per taste

Process:

Blend all the ingredients of the marinade together, using little water.
Stuff the pomfrets with as much marinade as possible and rub the rest of the marinade on all sides of the fish.
Marinate for at least 2 hours.
For best results wrap the pomfrets in banana leaves or aluminium foil.
Bake the fish with the wrapping in a convection oven/ combination oven at 200 degree centigrade for 15- 20 minutes till properly cooked.
For browning, open the foil and grill the fish on a baking rack or tray in the oven. (A barbecue grill or over-the -hob grill plate can also be used.)
Turn the fish over for uniform browning. (5- 10 minutes on each side should be enough). Grilling for longer will dry the fish.
For extra crispiness, brush the fish with oil before grilling.
Garnish the dish hot with onion, tomato, lemon rings and bell peppers.
Serve hot with rice or chapatti.

Serves 4- 6.

Total preparation time : 20 mins.
Total cooking time : 40 mins

This dish was cooked to perfection using the Sharp Healslo Super-steam convection oven and microwave.

The Final Product

Hope you enjoyed this recipe. Do give me your feedback if you try the dish at home. Till then, happy cooking !!

An Erstwhile Clumsy Oaf But Now a Cheetah Mom....Maternal Hormones Rock!!

2013-08-05T14:57:00.002+08:00

A Cheetah Mom with her Cub

I have always been quite a clumsy oaf! As a helpful kid at home, I always volunteered to set the dinner table. My mother and my sister thanked me profusely but declined my offer of help. The reason being that on those occasions where they had unknowingly sought my help- I had broken many a plate and glasses. I had ruined my mother's Chinaware and on 2 fateful nights, I had even dropped the whole serving bowl - once filled with daal (lentil soup) and the other time with a vegetable my mother had taken a painstaking half an hour to cook!!!

At school, I was a literary champ but a sports disaster. Once in school, I tripped on a basketball and broke my arm without ever having played the sport! I avoided PE lessons feigning a tummy ache whenever I could (an excuse that cannot be dismissed in girls who have just hit puberty), while my friends jumped with joy at a whole hour of fun on the fields away from studies.

The house (flat) where I spent most of my childhood and my teenage years was in a multi-storied building (boasting of 15 floors, it was touted to be the tallest building in the whole of Uttar Pradesh in the 1990s) in the heart of Lucknow. The boys in the building played literally any and everywhere - in the lift lobbies, on the staircases, in the driveway , the parking lots and any inch of land that was available. (there was no concept of a playground though later on a Table Tennis room was created in the compound.) They played cricket, football and anything much they liked, wherever they liked quite oblivious to the fact that people need to go into and out from the buildings. So people had to dodge the balls to avoid getting hurt, cars had to swerve and manoeuvre to avoid paying for dents later. Sometimes the boys would get an earful from the aunties with children in tow while an occasional middle aged, pot-bellied uncle would catch the ball with full gusto and toss it back to the boys (undoubtedly conveying the message that "Don't go by my age and looks, boys - I was once a champ in the game that you play now")

Coming back to me as you know by now I was hopeless in dodging or catching a ball (though my body has secret sensors that attract every ball and flying disc within a 2 km radius as they attract mosquitoes too but that's another story). So, on countless occasions, I was hit by the ball much to the delight of the boys who at that age, find everything amusing in the world. It pained badly but sometimes I pretended bravely that nothing had happened and just walked on without so much as a backward glance at my tormentors or at the wayward ball. In fact once I was sitting in a hand-rickshaw on my way for a lesson, when a runaway (or rather flyaway) ball from a nearby park came in our direction. I saw it coming and froze; the rickshaw puller saw the ball coming and ducked. The ball hit me smack on my nose. I reeled from the impact and asked the rickshaw puller to hurry away feeling totally and helplessly embarrassed to my core!

My family members sympathised with my accident prone nature and tried to keep me away from places and events where my "two left feet" syndrome would be exposed.

Now, after hearing this history, will not believe me if I tell you that I am a fitness enthusiast now- I walk, I jog, I practice yoga, I frequent the gym, I am learning swimming and I am also a dare-devil Mom. Call it delay effect or maternal instincts but it is true - I am an official cheetah mom now! I am fast, I am agile, I am sure footed and I prevent accidents rather than cause them. My latest feat even surprised my sceptical husband.

The scene- My husband and my elder son were seated at the dining table. I was on the floor quite a distance away from the table, retrieving a toy my younger son - 15 month old had flung under his high-chair. Without any preamble the baby walked to the dining table and started pulling hard at one of the dining chairs. Before we could realize, the chair was out of balance and was falling on him. It all happened so fast - in nanoseconds.

The Action and the Reaction - But the Cheetah Mom (aka me) was faster!! In an action that defied every logic of gravity, I leaped from my position and managed to catch the chair in mid-air. Since the chair was already falling at high speed & there was no way I could not have put it back in position without trampling my own baby so I manipulated the direction of the fall of the chair - it now fell sideways with a thud, but I had managed to hold back my son with my other hand so he escaped frightened but unhurt. The spell bound audience clapped in surprise and relief while I felt tears smarting my eyes" (what if the chair had fallen on my son, what if I was too late?)" Thankfully it had not, because now I am not only a Mom, I am a Cheetah Mom!

That's me with my Cubs!!

Book Review - I trapped a DOLPHIN but it REALLY wasn't my fault

2013-06-13T23:50:00.003+08:00

Book Review- I trapped a DOLPHIN but it REALLY wasn't my fault!

Written by Singapore's best-selling author Neil Humphreys and co-authored by his four year old daughter Abbie Rose, the book, "I trapped a DOLPHIN but it really wasn't my fault" is the second book in the children's book series "ABBIE ROSE & the magic suitcase."

I actually bought this book for my 6 year old son and bought the author's other best-seller, Return to a Sexy Island for myself. However, I ended up reading the children's book first (the cover page seemed more attractive and I could finish the book easily in the cab ride home). And while my 'action hero' son liked the story but rejected the book because it's central character was a girl (he is at an age when his world is full of macho, super human boys and girls sadly figure nowhere on his horizon), I enjoyed the read thoroughly!

As a parent who buys a lot of children's books and regularly reads to her kids, I can vouch for the fact that there are very few children's books that both adults and children can enjoy reading. ''I trapped a dolphin...." is one of the very few children's books that is a great read for any age. It is smart, witty story-telling that encompasses magic, travel and adventure while conveying a powerful message about 'saving the environment'.

The book series, Abbie Rose & the Magic suitcase has Abbie Rose a four-year old girl as the main protagonist. She is a curious little girl whose tall, hairy-legged father's love for travel, adventure and books has rubbed off on her. Her best suitcase in the cupboard is actually a magical suitcase that can transport her and her best friend Billy (a teddy bear) to faraway lands and exciting adventures.

In the book, I trapped a Dolphin but it really wasn't my fault, the magic suitcase takes Abbie Rose and Billy to the magnificent world of the deep, wide blue O-C-E-A-N! There, Abbie Rose meets a dolphin who is accidentally trapped when she is talking to him. Worst still, her friend Billy is also caught in the big net. The story continues with how Abbie Rose uses her common sense and some 'fishy' help to save the dolphin and her friend just in time. After playing with all the 'clicking' and 'squeaking' dolphins in the ocean and almost getting caught in the net herself, Abbie Rose and Billy return H-O-M-E, sopping wet but gleefully happy after their secret adventure!

What I like about the book is that without getting into lengthy histrionics or moral preachings, the book brings across an important environmental message- that all of us need to work towards protecting the dolphins (and other animals) from those who are selfishly endangering them. The message is subtle but strong and will make the reader think about the animals who have a right to live in their natural habitat and who long to return to their homes as much as Abbie Rose does after every adventure. What I also like about the book is that it will help young readers learn new words such as mammals, ocean and swordfish without, again, making it obvious.

Children's books need telling and attractive illustrations. To give due credit, the illustrations in this book by Cheng Puay Koon totally complement the story-telling. They are bright, colourful, apt and convey the situations and the expressions beautifully! In fact I would even say that the story would not have the same impact or the same sheen without the wonderful illustrations as it has now.

The book is a bit pricey but is a good read both for preschoolers and independent readers. The third book in the series is expected to be published around Christmas this year. Looking forward to where Abbie Rose's magic suitcase will take her next and who will she meet on her next adventure!

Till then take care and happy reading!

Send Me to The Gallows, if You Will!

2013-03-31T12:12:00.000+08:00

I Deserve the Gallows, Readers!

Yes, dear blog I know I have been absent for too long. I confess I am guilty and I won't even ask for forgiveness this time. If the blogosphere envisaged a punishment for absenteeism - I would surely deserve the gallows!! So what happened, you may well ask??- Plenty actually! All this while I had loads of news and views to share but I got side-tracked and (yes I admit) lazy.

Recap -April 2012 to March 2013

Is it even possible to recap one whole year in one single post? Well we live to try, isn't it? So here is my attempt to recap the events in my life in the past one year that occupied me, touched me, inspired me, changed my life for the better or for worse.

April to June 2012- Welcoming the Baby and the Guests;

23rd April, 2012, Monday, 10.47 p.m - was when we welcomed our second son Akshit into the world. Since it was to be a planned C-section (the gyne was reluctant to do a VBAC for me), we had decided to have the baby on 24th April as it was Akshay Tritya -an auspicious day according to the Hindu calendar.

But my son had different plans and decided to arrive on the 23rd night itself (which means that both my sons share the same birth date-23, albeit in different months). After a volley of names which were thrown to and fro, we settled on Akshit which was a mid- way option for both of us - Akshath (my original choice) and Archit (my husband's choice).

Three days later we were home, me sore, exhausted but elated and the baby alternating between sleeping, poos, pees and feeding. My elder son was initially not very impressed with the baby - "Mama, I thought the baby would be much cuter" was his first reaction!

Welcome to the world Baby Akshit!

It was a blessing to be welcomed at home by my sister (who had come down from India to be with me at this time) and home cooked food. I couldn't help remembering my first son's birth at London where my husband and I trudged up the stairs to our locked apartment on the second storey...me holding my stomach which was still hurting as it was barely 40 hours post the C-section delivery and my husband was holding the baby basket with 1 day old Akshobhya inside it.

Having a helper at home this time around also helped. It really seemed like sheer luxury that I could concentrate only on my own recovery and the baby while someone else took care of the cleaning, the cooking and the other chores as in London I was on my feet and in the kitchen from day 2 -post delivery (If you ask me, how I managed with swollen legs, a wound area that pained like hell and a colicky baby who wouldn't sleep- I really won't be able to tell except that each time I remember those days, I involuntarily shudder!!).

Having people in the house also helped allay my biggest concern - which was for my elder son and how he would cope with this apparent upstaging by his little bro! Akshobhya was so busy with his cousins that he scarcely noticed the baby and how Mama's time and attention was now more towards catering for the baby's needs.

At this point, I would also like to give myself credit for how well Akshobhya adjusted to his brother's birth....I would like to think I had prepared him well...I had told him about the baby and shown him scan pics. I had even told him how the baby will be needing Mama more as he would be tiny, totally dependant and would only know Mama as he had lived inside Mama's tummy for 9 months. I think he understood that quite well and did not feel that insecure and jealous as a child would have had he not been mentally prepared....the only indication that he did feel a pang of insecurity was when he insisted on sleeping with us in our room instead of his own room when I came back from the hospital. He also understood why we could not call his friends for his birthday which falls exactly one month after Akshit's birth date....and settled for gifts and play time at eXplorer kids.

Once my sister left, my parents-in-law and then my parents came over to Singapore to bless the little one.

July to November, 2012- Getting back into Shape!

The month of July saw us trying to scramble back to normalcy at home- the guests has left, Akshobhya's school had reopened after summer vacations, I had recovered quite a bit and Akshobhya was now a doting elder brother to the baby who in his opinion, had now become 'much cuter and rounder'! Bonus, the Dragon baby had learned to smile and make cute sounds too!

A smiling baby and a beaming elder bro!

The children were achieving milestone after milestone even as Akshit's poor thighs took the brunt of one jab after the other! Roll over, head and neck straight, sit up unaided, crawl on all fours, teething, solid foods, pull, throw and chew things, babble non-stop- ma!ma! ba!ba!- omg! babies achieve more six months than adults can in a lifetime!

All of us scrambled to catch his firsts and record them on whatever gadget was handy (which mind you- are plenty these days- five years back we used a not-so handy handy-cam to record my elder one's firsts) and share with family and friends...yes, share - he is after all born in the age of FB and Pinterest - a celeb in his own right!

Try to catch me if you can!

My elder son was achieving milestones albeit on the a different scale. With the advent of his younger brother who poor helpless baby '"could not do ANYTHING himself ," my 5 year old was suddenly feeling very grown-up and capable- almost a junior super-hero (who as he loves telling me CAN destroy the world, but will not :)). There were demands to watch Nickledeon instead of Nick Jr. and Disney ch instead of Disney Junior which were too babyish for him now. Arguments and emotional blackmailing followed after which a compromise was reached on what a 'grown-up 5 year old' could still not do or watch! For the rest, well I had to relent (didn't have much choice, did I?)

Also, once the extended family members returned to India, my elder one suddenly noticed his younger sibling getting a lot of his mother's attention. His displeasure at the situation more often than not meant getting into more trouble (which to my guilty soul seemed like desperate attempts at capturing my attention). So, when the baby slept- I made a valiant effort at pushing back my own yawns to spend as much time with him as was possible- reading stories, playing, simply listening to his endless tales of school and imaginary monsters or taking him to concerts and story-telling sessions!

The Samurai at his Annual Day performance -Sep'12

Battling the Post Natal Bulge!

All this while, there was another tougher challenge that was awaiting me - the challenge of shedding off my pregnancy fat. I was in an unenviable shape after my younger son's birth. I had lost some weight and fat naturally, thank God for that! After deducting the baby's weight, the placenta, the water discharge, the lochia and and the breastfeeding, I was still left with a whooping surplus of 13 kgs. I weighed my odds.....I could not cut down on my food a lot as I was still nursing Akshit.

3 months post delivery I started with walks limited inside my estate compound (I had to be within rushing distance of my house to feed the baby in case he woke up during my walk.) I followed it up with some breathing exercises and stretching at home (again if the baby permitted). The result was far from spectacular - in fact the little weight I lost confounded my dressing dilemma - my maternity clothes hung loose on me but I could not fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes yet - buying new clothes to fit my ''new in-between size" seemed a waste of money (since I was convinced that I would lose weight)! So when we took a vacation to Bintan, Indonesia end of September, I looked pretty out of shape (on hindsight, we should have picked up a hill destination rather than a beach so I could have covered that one up!! )

Bintan

Once my son started solid food (after 6 months), I could squeeze in more effort and time- the walks became lengthier and brisk as the post natal aches disappeared. This was followed by exercises, stretches and more yoga. I indulged myself a bit and went for fortnightly post natal massages to help with the toning. I also tweaked my diet (without cutting it down since I was still breastfeeding) to include more salads and fruits and replaced biscuits and chocolates with raisins for mid-night snacking (kicking off this habit- that begun in the last trimester of pregnancy proved the toughest especially since the baby still woke for night feeds).

My goal was to slim down before our vacation trip to India in December so that I would n't have to hear constant reminders about how fat I had become - the added incentive was to look good in a saree I had to wear for my brother in -law's wedding. And hey! I managed to lose 11 out of the 13 excessive kgs in 5 months - not a small feat if you consider that I did not need to pay an expensive upmarket gym to achieve it!

Akshit joining me for meditation!

Re-educating Myself!

The last quarter of 2012 also saw me enrolling for a course at the London School of Journalism (LSJ) in Sub-editing and Design in a desperate attempt to to do something fruitful with my life (I get these pangs every now and then) since I was determined in not letting it becoming a 'course in history' which correspondence courses have a penchant of becoming, I plunged headlong into the course....completing 4 modules in a span of under three months. It is another story that I am yet to conjure up the same enthusiasm in 2013 for completing the course.

December 2012- Trip to India

We spent the whole of December '12 in India. As always, a trip to India requires planning, shopping , doctor visits and much more from a month earlier.....more so since we were travelling with 2 kids including a seven month old infant. It is tough since we travel to 3 different cities in India located each in the East, West and North. This means plenty of travelling, packing, unpacking and constant adjusting to the changed environment especially for the kids. The worst part is that you just don't know what clothes to pack as December in the northern parts of India means chilly temperatures- nearing zero degrees but the east and the west of the country can still be blazing hot or sultry during the day!

For me, the first fortnight of the vacation was even more hectic than normal workdays since the Dad was still in Singapore and the kids especially the younger one was really clingy all through. Anyhow, the good part was that health-wise the children were fine barring some minor cold, cough and stomach ailments. Akshobhya enjoyed himself thoroughly with his cousins and grandparents and freaked out travelling in auto-rickshaws where you can feel the wind in your hair and managed to seat himself in the front seat in the car too (a strict no-no in Singapore). As for me all the hard work paid off and psst!pssst! I had people complimenting me on how I had managed to get back into shape post delivery :).

January to March 2013 - Of Achievements and Injuries;

So after a busy but good time in India, we returned to a new year in SG, 'back to school' for Akshobhya and happy crawling time for Akshit! Yes, now he was crawling on all fours- a very very cute sight indeed and also standing up with support. Within days he had mastered his crawling skills and soon he was 'crawl-running' (a term coined by our helper) since he was very very fast and could reach places that he was not supposed to go to in seconds. Soon we were scrambling to put up everything that he could now reach and break or mouth and there were many casualties on the way as the little explorer took charge!

A Bad Fall;

Barely had we settled back that Akshobhya badly injured himself. I had taken the kids out to a nearby playground and he was swinging from the monkey bars. On one of these instances, he missed catching the bar and fell to the ground. Probably on instinct he kept his hands on the ground to break the fall and then landed on top of his hands. The angle at which he fell fractured both the bones on his right arm - the ulna and the radius that connect to the wrist.

What followed was an ordeal for the poor child who was in a lot of pain. We rushed him to Raffles Hospital only to discover that they do not have a child specialist in their A&E so though they did the X-Ray, they could not do the plastering. We then took him to KKH where they assessed him and decided that he would have to be sedated before they could fix his bones. It was painful to see him resist the sedative and the subsequent sleep- trance it induced. But it had to be done. We waited outside while they rejoined his bones and plastered him at 11 in the night.

It was 2 am when they finally discharged him, conscious but groggy. The next few days were even more difficult as he was not supposed to move his right arm at all to allow the joint to become stronger. What's an action hero got to do when he can't jump around, cycle, swing, play or even go to school? Keeping Akshobhya in bed was a challenge for me but the doctors had warned us that if the bones do not get fused properly in the first 7 days, it would require an operation which we all wanted to avoid.

So I tried to engage him with board games and books and he was allowed more TV time. Thankfully, the bones fused together- there was no operation required but the plaster was required for another 7 weeks to allow the bones to heal. The hard plaster was replaced by a lighter fiber-glass neon green plaster (Ben 10 color) and for the final weeks with a neon orange shorter plaster.

He was granted medical leave from school, so with both the boys around at home it was impossible for me to get back to my work or my studies. Slowly, I started taking him out of the house (as he was getting awfully cranky holed up in the house for weeks on end ) but kept a hawk's eye on him because even with the plaster- he was back in action! It was only in the first week of March that his plaster was finally opened but even then he was advised to avoid contact sports and wear a brace on his arm for another 6 weeks.

It was a difficult phase for all of us but I was surprised at how resilient and strong kids are! Akshobhya was never 'down in the dumps.' After a week of forced rest, he was finding ways to engage himself. Since his right arm was indisposed, he used his left arm efficiently for almost everything - one would think he is ambidextrous. Except for the two times when he missed his school picnic and his sports day because of his injury -and he was obviously sad about that- he took the whole episode quite cheerfully and bravely. And that made me really proud of him :)

7 weeks hence, the plaster is smarter, lighter and neon orange!

In March, Akshobhya graduated from Kindergarten - a big boy and a big event for us as he crossed the first academic threshold!

Akshobhya's Graduation Day -Dress Rehearsal

Trip to Legoland

Akshobhya had term end holidays in March - and we decided to make a trip to Legoland - a celebration of his fracture healing and his graduation from Kindergarten. I could call the trip good except for the fact that we were roasted alive in the awful, unbearable Johor heat (and I am not exaggerating). So much so, that within a couple of hours, everybody (including Akshobhya who was terribly excited for the trip) wanted to give up and return to Singapore having covered barely one-fifth of the adventure park. Bravely, I trudged on motivating everyone- making sure the kids were well-hydrated, reminding everyone that we had only a 1 day pass and we must make the most of it.

So we carried on for another few hours but by the end of it I had started to feel terribly exhausted too and after many years - I got a heat stroke and kept throwing up in the hotel and all the way back to Singapore (ugh!).

Legoland,Malaysia

The Killing Heat!

Akshobhya with a Giant Lego Rhino

Whew! Wasn't it an eventful year - a new baby, a growing up action hero, three out of station trips and so much more! That's all for now, folks!

We are all now looking forward to Akshobhya entering Primary School and Akshit's First Birthday next month- April '13! Hope to keep you all posted! Ciao!

Book Review on Goodreads- "The Sins of the Father" - By Jeffrey Archer

2012-10-29T16:19:00.004+08:00

The Sins of the Father by Jeffrey Archer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

Joining the Preschool Debate in Singapore- An Opinion

2012-09-06T15:14:00.002+08:00

A debate that has been hotting up in Singapore recently is whether preschoolers (kids between the age of 3 and 6) are better off learning through play or should they be sweating it out in school, enrichment classes and home in order to get a head start in Primary School. The debate sparked off after Prime Minister Lee Hsein Loong in his 2012 National Day Speech exhorted parents to stop hothousing their children and to allow them to learn through play.

The response to the PM's comment from educationists and parents has been overwhelming but divided. One set of parents (mostly parents of children who are either going to college or have yet to start preschool or grandparents) have complimented the Prime Minister and lauded his advice. The other set of parents (whose children are actually in preschool or preparing to go to primary school and who were presumably the targeted group for the comment) have been largely critical of the Prime Minister's remark, terming it impractical to allow children to play through preschool in a competitive society such as Singapore, many citing their own personal stories of how they were forced to send their children to enrichment classes to keep up with the rest.

So who is correct and what should parents do? Allow their child to laggard behind their peer and risk being castigated for it later or allow their child to be swept by the herd to keep up with the rat race? Unfortunately, there is no rule book one can look up the answer in. It depends on one's perception of what education means for us - does it mean literacy? does it mean academic excellence? or does it mean holistic development of the child that prepares the child not only for future exams but for life? It may seem confounding but if one keeps the child's best interest as top priority, then it is easy to see light.

As a mother of two, I agree that as we are living in a society which is driven by the desire to excel (which is both good and bad), and is fiercely competitive; we cannot risk social isolation as parents and wilfully relegate our children to the bottom of the academic ladder. But at the same time I would refuse to take the bait in a never- ending game where the child's first years are sacrificed to up the ante. It is important to decide how much of this competitiveness is really necessary for the child and how much of it is healthy?

My son aged 5, is studying in K2 in an International School. I do not send him to any preparatory or enrichment class except those non-academic ones in which he himself evinces interest - for example he loves playing with clay and I had enrolled him for pottery classes that helped hone his motor skills and creativity, and after participating in a musical in school he wanted to play the drum so I now take him for a half-an-hour once-a-week drumming classes. I have so far resisted the temptation to send him to holiday camps which are very popular with parents in Singapore (even though it can be really tough handling two boisterous boys at home) as I feel he is too young and needs to play and learn at his own pace rather than in a structured program.

Studies at home (only started in K2) are limited to an hour on weekends and begin/ end with what he terms as 'fun studies'- namely story-telling, magnetic numbers, scrabble, cross-words, colouring or join the dot activities. I make sure he goes to the estate playground every day and has plenty of outdoor time. At home his favourites pastimes are Thomas trains, Lego Blocks and Disney Junior cartoon. I have been reading stories out loud to him from his infancy so he has developed a keen interest in books and today he can read Level 2 books with ease. The fact that he is going to join primary school next year does not intimidate me because I believe that even if he is not fully prepared yet, he can and will pick up pace soon enough. The only mental preparation required for both him and me are the longer school hours in primary school.

It is no secret that early childhood years are important formative years for the child in which he gains cognitive and motor skills, social skills, values and many other traits that go beyond his childhood and carry him into adolescence and adulthood. It is also important to remember that these first few years of life are the only truly carefree years that one gets so it is downright cruel to pressurise the child so much that he fails to enjoy the carefree splendour of childhood.

But having said that, various educationists and child psychologists have conceded that preschool age is the age at which a child's ability to grasp, learn and memorize is more potent than it will ever be. So it is a good time to lay the foundation for languages, phonics, writing and numeric basics to the child. And lest it be thought otherwise most children love reading from story books or listening to how words rhyme or how numbers add and subtract as it challenges and exercises their brain. Thus, if these concepts are introduced in the pre-school curricula through play, music and movement without making them tedious and repetitive, the child enjoys this assimilation of knowledge. Needless to add that when the child discovers his ability to read and write, he revels in it. Basic literacy combined with softer skills helps even a most reticent child extrapolate his emotions and exhibit confidence.

The Ministry of Education, Singapore states in its framework for the preschool curriculum that the aim of kindergarten education is amongst others, "To promote a love for learning". The Programme envisaged is thus, "The daily programme of each level includes learning activities that develop language and literacy skills, basic number concepts, social skills, creative and problem solving skills, appreciation of music and movement and outdoor play. Children will learn in two languages, English as the first language and Chinese, Malay or Tamil as a Mother Tongue language. "

So the question is that if the preschools are following the curriculum, why are the parents still sending their children to enrichment classes to prepare them for primary school? Why are the parents not confident that their wards will be able to cope up with the Primary School syllabus?

A. Is it because the Primary schools are asking too much from their students - the expectation from a child entering primary school is much more than what has been imparted to him at preschool?

OR

B. Is it because the preschools are not preparing the students well enough for primary school - they are not orientating the students for this quantum academic leap?

OR

C. Is it that preschools are preparing students well for primary school but parents are ignorant of the same making them dread this crucial transition for their child?

OR

D. Is it because the parents in Singapore are over-zealous and over-ambitious, anxious to ensure that their children do not get left behind and fare better than their peer in Primary school, and in the process pushing them too hard, too soon?

If the answer is A or B then it is imperative that the disconnect between preschools and primary schools is plugged at the earliest so that parents do not feel pressured to send their young children to 2 schools or to daily enrichment classes to bridge the gap (definitely a disturbing trend and one which can potentially harm rather than benefit the child). If the child gains all that he needs from school and does not have to spend hours taking extra classes, he or she can spend the remaining time playing and learning through play (which as the P.M rightly pointed out is the hallmark of childhood and should not be dispensed with.)
Enrichment classes should be as the name implies be used only for the enrichment of the child and not for obtaining a seat in primary school or better grades in class. If parents are enlisting their kids into various enrichment classes to prepare them for primary school and to impart basic literacy (reading/ writing) skills then something is surely amiss in the education system and must be set right.
Preschool education model where children are imparted basic academic skills while also simultaneously being trained through the alternate system of Montessori learning is considered a very rewarding model worldwide. Montessori learning is not only a hands-on approach to learning and helps reinforce what is taught in class, but it is also fun, unobtrusive form of learning ideal to hold the interest of playful preschoolers.
In Singapore, as many working couples send their children to day-care, often the terms day care and preschool are used interchangeably and the expectations from both are confused.
If the answer is C - 'that there is no disconnect between preschool and primary school, but the parents are not aware of the same' - then it is important for schools/ ministry to clarify in clear terms what the expectations are from a child who is graduating from preschool and is seeking admission to primary school, so that both the student and the parents are better prepared.
However, if the answer is D - 'that the parents are going into an unnecessary over-drive in preparing their child for primary school', then it is indeed an unhealthy trend and must change. The trend for enrolling kids into as many enrichment classes as possible to keep up with the rest has to stop. The mindset that "my child must know all that is being taught in school from before" needs to be done away with. One has to acknowledge that every child has been blessed with a potential that varies from the next child and as much as we try we cannot equalize it, rather we end up frustrating ourselves and the child. As the Prime Minister said, "No homework is not a bad thing". Similarly, no enrichment class is also not a bad thing.

The Prime Minister's remarks are to be taken in context. It is over-preparedness that he is cautioning against and not preparedness. It is about striking a balance. Most children here start preschool at the tender age of 3 and spend the next 3-4 years in preschool before they enter primary school. It is the collective responsibility of the schools and the parents to ensure that they gain basic skills without having to lose out on the ''fun n frolic' of childhood.