Odegle Nyang

Its KCPE Time

2009-11-10T16:16:00.002+03:00

Today is when more than 750K children will be sitting for their first ever national exam. The rehearsals were done yesterday and when I had gone to buy my daughter her clip board, I found they were out of stock. Its the one time that parents go out of their way to make life as easy as possible for the candidates. Even if they are from Kavunyalalo primary school where kids learn under a tree, am sure the stones on which they sit would have to be made more bearable.

Actually nothing much has changed since I sat my own version exactly 20 years ago. they still shade the choices, carry with them 3 pencils (for 5 exams!) an eraser and a set. Bofa set has remained the most affordable brand but the quality has taken a thorough beating!

However cheating has gone a notch higher with kids employing all sorts of tricks. Maybe its coz they have seen from their parents and leaders the importance of short-cuts and quick wins. Its all about saving time.

And talking of saving time, last weekend I learnt that time was scarce even for courtship in the eastlands part of the city. vis

boy to girl: 'mazee yenyewe mimi nimekunice sikufichi na we pia use? useme. unanipa au hunipi? coz sitaki kukuwastia time ya? yako na mimi pia usiniwastia time ya? yangu'

But on the western part of the city also known in local lingo as 'kwa ma sources' (kwa wadosi aperently is old) vibe goes thus:

Boy to girl: I sooo wish you yaani, si we hook up and catch pints?

There you go no time for the long deliciously flowery letters we used to write themdays. Time is money!

But seriously, how on earth are those kids of Kavunyalalo who learn under trees against the wind and other elements supposed to compete with the ones in Makini?

A Frog Hoping Out into the Sun...

2009-11-05T09:49:00.002+03:00

In my tongue they say that you can never meet a frog hoping out of the pond and into the open unless things are very bad whence he comes. In fact it was common when I was growing up in Masiro to take to your heels if you met a warty toad or frog hoping in a hurry to what seems like nowhere. There could be a snake! Problem was when it was in the open, it made an easy meal for a hawk up in the air.

And I thought of the same yesterday when the ever blissful Wako came out for the first time in my memory of him to defend himself against accusations of sleeping on the job and also deliberatively aiding the people of power and influence to perpetuate impunity. Many people say Wako is a brilliant lawyer which explains why his tirade yesterday against the mighty America was like a the frog hoping hurriedly to nowhere.

Some people have argued that you can eat, dine and be merry even if you didn't have a USA visa. After all like Isaac Ruto said Wako's office is not in New York. But thats not the point. The point is that its very difficult to perform your duties as a senior govt official without this Visa given that the moment you lose it, you also most likely lose Visas to most European countries. And since most of our governance is based on foreign support which basically implies foreign trips and so on. It means you cant travel for these overseas meetings which means your assistants who may not be decision makers have to represent you etc etc. That basicaly translates to you not performing the duties you were hired for.

My thinking is that denying an official visa is a way of firing the official on behalf of the President! And thats why Wako came out like a frog.

On another note, I couldn't help but notice that so far the US has already forced out 2 people they have always had problems with. A. ringera, and M. Ali. Wako is probably next because I don't see Kibaki backing him. The man will most likely not comment but Wako will also probably not get access to him which is his silent way of telling you to take a walk! Kibaki is the kind of sonko who cant bear firing anyone even if you were stepping on his toes but he will just silently ignore you or avoid eye contact!

Failing...To Succeed

2009-11-03T14:04:00.003+03:00

Just after reading cracked's article on people who made their failure a personal success, I got home to news that one Ngangalito, the young man who stole the fame during the last tusker project fame show had actually got success and will be running his own show on the dynamic Citizen TV.

Its quite a shocker I must say. I disliked the boy from day one. I was fearing that he would do a Hemedi once again and I kept on wondering what EABL was trying to achieve with such non-talent's in the premier show. However as the days wore on, I started seeing the other side of Nganga. One trait that endeared him to everyone I guess was his never say die attitude. He took all criticism in his stride and added a warm smile to every apearance. Nganga probably knew what none of the contestants knew. That the show was not really about talent. Such shows are about viewaship since they are just another mega advertisement. Neither EABL nor Citizen will care if you choked as you sung as long as people are watching and drinking!

So much about Nganga and his Italians. Yesterday, I was rather taken aback watching one truly talented Usain Bolt jokinngly touch our president on the shoulders as his senior ministers looked on like kids. I felt bad. It didnt help that he was towering over the old man and patting his shoulders like those of a small boy who has been given candy.But we already agreed that you never look a gift horse (goat) in the mouth. So that too will pass.

Such gifts would not have been necessary if we were more proactive in managing our internal affairs. The Excellency would have protected our sovereignty by not standing in line to receive donations from a 23 year old '3rd Worlder'. But that would only have been posible if we shuned shortcuts to reaches.

Shotcuts like the ones used by teachers and students to get ahead and pass the national exams. All because they fear to fail in life while they should just be referring to Ngangalito above on how to succeed in spite of failure!

Villains and Psychos

2009-10-22T09:50:00.003+03:00

A long lost Congolese journalist and Academic friend of mine has remembered me by way of an email. And that was very comforting and good of him after all these years of teaching at a UK varsity. The only discomforting thing is that he only remembered me as part of a large list of email recipients of a lewd forward. So I dont know whether to smile or frown.

And the forward is rather bizarre. It shows several worm eye-view pictures of the renown mutwashi dancer and musician Tshala Muana. My friend was criticising the singer for her appearance during the show.

The pictures reveal a very stylish Tshala, clad in a long flowing dress but not wearing any panties. And that was my friends bone of contention. He was angry that the musician was not showing good picture and of the DR Congo and was instead showing her 'goods' to the public. And I wondered who between Tshala Muana and the photojournalist who took the pictures has a problem. The musician could have decided to wear less undergarments due to her size (elle est un peu bien enveloppée) and vigorous dance to reduce on sweat for all I know! But looking at the angle from which the pictures were taken it was impossible to miss an upskirt on the dancer given she was on a raised platform. Am even wondering had the journalist obtained pictures of her undergarments, would it have been less worrisome? it still would have pointed to a sick person , going out of his way to catch details of the musician which were not for public consumption.

It just reminds me of similar pictures I have seen of other prominent personalities like Martha Karua, Amani and even Pasaris. All of them just showed me evidence of irresponsible and really very very sick journalists!!!

Of Face Book and Its Alienations

2009-10-21T09:20:00.002+03:00

In the days when a TV was a possession to behold, I used to curse a friend of mine who would promptly turn off the box when I went visiting. I used to think he didn't like me enjoying the moving pictures playing on it. One time I braved it and complained to him but he said that the TV prevented him from connecting with his guests. It was his practice to switch it off when he had friends since he valued a one to one conversation more and did not like any third party interruptions. He also never liked the direction of his causerie dictated by the events displayed on the magic box.

But that was then. Today am just finding out that unlike my friend, a ubiquitous facility called Facebook is quickly alienating me from my friends and even relatives. Just the other day, I discovered that I had not met our close family friend for almost 3 months when in my mind I thought we have been with her at least every other day. Because of Facebook, I have been able to know everything that was going on in her life and so I hadn't made time to pay her a visit or even call. Her status always updates when she goes to church, misses out on water, buys a new water tank for storage or when looking for a new house-help! So when I met her and insisted I had been a 'good' friend you should have seen her shock. For a definition of a good friend is not one who keeps up with you only on a website!

But I like the site. Even though I never update my own status (it has to do with my soldier cousin's comment about the site) I normally find it quite interesting. Facebook has made me know most of my friends based on what they update in their status. One of them is a smooth operator and always has sweet words for the fairer gender. Another is a funny man who always sees the ticklish side of life. While another will all the time praise the gods of inebriation.

I have also seen who among them are born leaders. The ones who always updates the others when he meets a long lost acquaintance. Another complains and blames everyone but himself about corruption and mismanagement of public affairs. While a yet another shows split personally syndrome. Wanting to mask her stories while at the same time reveling the juicy details of them. Its also good entertainment especially on the phone when waiting for someone who cant keep time or whiling away the moments.

On another note, today marks the start of KCSE 2009 exam. The one opportunity for young men and women all over the country to determine whether they will move from Mathare to Muthaiga or from Muthaiga to Mathare. Whether they will brew changaa to survive or charge people an arm and a leg to do life saving surgeries. In Kenya, nothing provides a life changing chance than the dreaded national exam called KCSE. No wonder there are so many cases of cheating!

To all candidates, its a big success wish to you all from Odegle.

Heads in the Sand or Plain Charlatan?

2009-10-15T12:30:00.003+03:00

This week the media has been on the case of young people with stories of sex and related subjects. Predictably each media house has gone out to find what they would think was the juiciest of the underage sex stories to tell. (Are these houses managed by one person?)

So one came up with the story of a study which found out that young people have started engaging in sex at a very tender age and most of them are procuring abortion. The reporter said that in his time underage sex was unthinkable yet now things are 'shagalabagala'. Well that is what I too heard in the '80s and '90s when I was growing up. Our parents and adults always told us their days were saintly days! Never mind that this reporter appeared to be no older than 23.

Another media house went to the air with the story of young people buying and trying out sex enhancing drugs. They even had hidden cameras and managed to get viagra and other sex enhancement drugs from a street vendor. She was shocked that these drugs were so available to young people. She even wondered how come the youth knew about them. Well this is someone who works for a TV station that advertises Zoom in national free viewing TV in broad daylight. Zoom and many other such drugs are actually available over the counter in of all places supermarkets!!! In my view you do not need a hidden camera to find out that people both old and young buy them all the time. And again remembering my own youth, I started hearing about a drug called 'kukumanga' (sp) when I was in class five. I wonder why anyone would be surprised that kids know about these things.

But a third TV was not be left out of the 'competition' on kid sex stories. They went to bed with the one about brothels and strip joints which they said are surprisingly available in Nairobi. O boy! Is that really news? stories of karumaindo and riva rodi are almost as old as Nairobi itself. And Strip joints? They have full color A3 size posters all over the streets of Nairobi!

But maybe its not only Kenyan media. A friend sent me a youtube link with a story told by this American journalist about underage prostitution in the Kenyan coastal towns. Where kids as young as 13 are being paid by rich old men from Europe to engage mostly in unprotected sex. I would have been shocked had I not also been sent a website hosted in the US of A calling itself child models website. In reality it was full of pedophile fodder. Kids some barely 3 years pictured naked or with the subject of the photo being their panties or lower torso. Someone has to be acutely sick to in the first place host such a site, update it and even collect money from subscribers. What even of the subscribers themselves! Does that even begin to compare with the 13 year olds of the Kenyan coast?

Picking your Poison

2009-10-09T14:37:00.003+03:00

In my current calling (where I earn my daily ugali) I have been facing a number of options on the people whom I work with. The options range from the funny to the absurd.

Take Mr. T for instance. The man is what you need for your ego in this trying Kenya especially when the good Lord decides to hold back rain for a year. He looks at me as the leadership masterpiece with unmatched intelligence, foresight and strength. He praises my fashion sense (I can assure you this is my weakest link though) and will ask me where I bought those shoes so that he too can buy. In our meeting he nodes in approval when I talk and quotes what I said ages ago some that even I have forgotten! Downside? Mr. T's assignments are always at best 1 week late! However he always has very fitting explanation for any such delay or any flip up.

What of Miss Y? O boy! For starters I find her beauty kinda intimidating especially since am happily married and also her boss (probably she knows it) when am talking she is always restless showing body signs to suggest am talking trash or too much. She fights everyone at every opportunity. Any time I have any significantly urgent and delicate task to be done at whatever hour (even night) I would quickly but nervously dial her number and give it to her. Naturally if it was after hours she would take me through a long litany of gripe which she refers to as a 'piece of her mind' after which I would thank her and disconnect the phone. After an hour or two she would send me an update sms and an email detailing the job done to my satisfaction.

But Mr. D is the guy who when around would stammer every word and fidget and basically fail to say anything coherent. Its impossible for him to do anything unless you expressly tell him to and direct him how to do it and so on.

Really to succeed how do you pick your poison?

On another note i was deeply encouraged by Geoffrey Owiti Oyoo winning Churchill's Top Comic competition. The young man from a fairly humble Kibera background 'walked' away (he said he couldn't drive) with a new Isuzu D-Max)

Know Birthday, Will Travel

2009-10-06T10:33:00.003+03:00

A friend of mine has been denied a simple US visit visa for what I find to be the feeblest of reasons. That he did not know the birth day of the sister he was to visit! I don't know whether its derisory or woeful. And in either case who is to be laughed at or pitied. The drift is that after I heard the story, I did a quick and dirty 'survey' on my friends and discovered that a majority of them did not have such information either. In fact they dint even know their own parents birthdays. Birth years, yes but not the day! Am told in the first world things are so good that they don't have grounds for divorce so such mundane issues like not remembering your significant other's birthday can cost you a marriage and send your kids into full lives of stress and related abuse.

But I would understand them, its probably just a cultural thing. In Kenya celebrating the date of birth is quite a new affair and again its mostly done for kids below 5. The fetes normally fade in significance as years advance. However even the birthdays I have attended never even looked like such. Picture this one where we went to celebrate the first born's first year. There was bbq (nyama choma, kawaida yao), crates upon crates of tusker, pisner and even my favorite WC. There was mukwangala and even mugithi the dance that gives neighbors and friends the moral right to hold each others wives at the waist. I wondered how that was a kids birthday celebration. I even wondered if it would be remembered at a random questioning eg at the embassy!

New Kenyan Humour

2009-09-24T22:33:00.003+03:00

I met Njeri the other day after almost 11 years since our college years together. Well thats no news. Former college mates meet up all the time. The news actually is that Njeri was a scientist who studied wildlife and related issues. She was very passionate about her course and was an excellent colleague. When I met her, I thought I would be meeting a passionate campaigner for wildlife now that we are losing them at break neck speed.

But no, Njeri today is a high riding humor writer. She invited me to her humor blog which has increased my menu of top Kenyan online content where I get that deserved 'tea' break and get a good laugh or a firm node to my self.

Looking at her style, content, enthusiasm, it almost impossible that this would be the same hard nosed scientist who found time only between her studies and researches to visit a few friends. And that is amazing. its difficult to tell whether it the misplacement of students into courses or rather the fact that 844 was meant to make us an all rounder. with bawas (sorry powers) to read and to do all that appertains to the degree. Artistic expression and Science some say are like blood and water flowing in the same body. But from our education, the two were placed as far apart as the twin poles of mother earth. so next time you are thinking of punching the boss in the nose, you may just want to punch Kenyan Humor for a good comic relief!

Afraid

2009-09-17T13:33:00.002+03:00

Lately I have I have become afraid, very afraid. But I should be because only 24 hours after a wilson airport based plane fell and burst into flames only 50 metres from my wifes feat, another fell just about 500 metres from our house! Am more afraid given the fact that I havent heard any policy statement or concern or anything related coming from those with the powers to do what appertains to governance.

But if that was going to make me fear then TV was waiting for me at home to do a closing, coz I saw something close to a horor movie of cows some dead others half alive being dragged on the dry ground and burried in shallow graves. But again those were cows of a higher social standing because their collegues never even got a decent burial. They were just covered in dust! I wonder if cows have feelings like of the fear of impending death. I saw some who were still alive but too invalid to even stand watching in horror as their friends and family were dragged along and burried. I felt afraid on their behalf.

I was even more afraid when I saw one mans job being secured with hundreds of thousands of acres of prime forest land. I feared what will become of us at this rate. Yet that was not worse. What was worse was the fact that similar trade offs are happening right next to me where I get my daily bread. I fear because Ringera's white hair and even Kibaki's stoop and slow walk lied to me that graft was an old evil. However those who are perfecting it are almost 10 years my junior and are still as quick as a dik dik!
I do know fear

A Been-To!

2009-09-14T12:12:00.002+03:00

"Good Afternoon sir", "Welcome"
"May I help with your luggage sir"
"thats good now"
"If you may come this way sir",
(opening the back left door of the new Mercedes S class, black leather seats, woody interior finishes et al)
"Welcome sir" (closes the door goes to the drivers seat)
"There is water under the arm rest on the left. you can take a choice of still or sparkling water according to your liking sir. On your left are todays newspapers if you would like to catch up. And right in front of you are some chocos and sweets for your indulgence sir".
"Is the temperature alright? should I adjust it upwards or down? Would you like the radio or the some cool music or should I just turn it off. Do please let me know if am going too fast or too slow ..."

Phew! Well how is that for British hospitality and customer service. But that was what greeted me on my very first trip to Europe the land of many a history (o yea now am an official been-to with unallianable rights to twang and do all that appertains to having visited a first world!)

But I soon learnt that Britain is the most economically stratified society I have been to and there is deliberate discrimination based on your financial status. When I remarked to my hosts on the treatment I was given by the taxi driver, they told me that it depended on how the taxi company was briefed before sending someone to pick me. Had they been told of higher seniority, they would have sent a bigger more luxurious car (more luxurious!!!. Mercs are a dream car in Kenya!)

I actually did see it when I insisted on using the tube once or twice and saw the difference. There was also a train which was higher in class than the tube and of course the train itself had 3 classes. first class for the likes of yours truly (the hosts were hell bent on spoiling me I guess) then standard class and finally the unnamed class for those the society doesn't even care to provide a name to but at least still get transport.

It was nice to see the rural Europe both in Germany and Britain and see how the local folk actually tough it out. But what interested me most was the old Britain with its imperial buildings so full of history. I visited the national gallery and read about those who taught us every little meanness we know today (ok those who colonized us)and kinda understood why its difficult to compare the first economies to ours. Those guys have had eons to make and correct their mistakes. So I have decided to be more lenient to the likes of Ruto who chose to play politics when our people are dying of hunger, thirst and darkness. After all we have been a nation for less than half a century! (excuses lift the soul dont they)

But one funny culture shock for me was the customer service I got from this very beautiful lady who was helping me shop a few gifts for my family. She said she understood the predicament of men when it came to getting reasonable gifts for the wife and kids. She took her time almost a hour walking with me up and down the huge store and showing me options and so on. finally she took me to the cashiers and helped me pack my luggage before seeing me out. I felt 'Kenyan' and told myself she needed to be tipped. Boy! you should have seen the disappointment on her face! she said she was only too happy to help since it was her job.

By the way how on earth do they manage to keep a country that clean!

Of Sweeps and Stabborn Dirt

2009-09-10T12:57:00.004+03:00

My good friend who lives and works in a first world (or is it fast world) reckons after the noise generated by the ringera appointment that all of us in this country have got it all wrong and that Ringera is hardly the problem. the problem he believes is with all of us. that Ringera is just a sacrificial lamb when the corruption situation is already cancerous. he says the Kenyan population is corrupt to the bone and will require a miracle to fix. My friend is Kenyan born , brought up and worked under this sun. so he probably is talking from experience, may both as a victim and villain of the vice.

But I disagree. My friend's argument is like the one of the floor sweeps in a company i used to work for before. they would say that once they mop, you must not step on the floor! or rather when they were mopping you had to stay out. which i found baffling since the floor is bound to get dirty. their work was to clean it. Just like Ringera. He was employed to clean the mess and its foolhardy to come round and say the floor was bound to get dirty even if he did clean it. that should not stop him!

That same argument was used when one old Moi was taking the country to the dogs. people said, Moi was good but only his friends were bad and so that made the nation poor. but one pastor told me that in order to know someone, you just need to look at his friends.

But what is posible when citizens are honest and not corrupt? My friend says the roads are clean, transport works, water runs in the taps, Light is available as God ordained it and basically life works. And why cant we be honest then?

But on a sweeter note, England, a team i love to hate made it yesterday to the Worlds greatest show on earth (FIFA World Cup) in style. It was difficult for me to tell whether it was the former Kenya colonisers who were good or the croations who were playing like Kenya's Harambee stars. But I enjoyed the game

Why do some people almost always get the job they want?

2009-08-21T16:10:00.002+03:00

When we finished school and started looking for placements (or career pegion holes as my friend used to call them), my cousin and I wrote and posted several letters some unanimous and others in response to adverts. Most if not all of them went unanswered and unacknowledged. After the 100th letter my cousin gave up and vowed not to waste any more money on 'those proud guys'. I too used to get angry since it was rather expensive to even post a single letter.

I only began to understand the issues behind the silence after I visited a recruitment agent who was doing Resume reviews for free (he was a rotaractor). The man took me through my review with the ruthlessness of a nyapara. At the end of the grueling session, my CV was reduced to a mere essay of a primary school kid. I had to do the work all over again. I hated him for being so rough and 'cruel' yet I now look back and love him for being so right. The CV is the marketing tool of a potential employee and its what helps you get that priced interview.

I wouldn't have got my job if I hadn't first got the interview! With hundreds of CVs to whittle down to a shortlist, a recruiter will spend absolutely no more than 30 seconds looking at each individual CV in the first instance. No wonder my CV was finding its way into the dustbin in the initial stages.

Over the years I have learnt that it really does help to drop your pride and seek the help of a professional to write your CV. Some professionals are quite expensive but then again the higher the investment the higher the return. When you want the best, you should be ready to spend.

some of these services are available in the web and you can get your CV reviewed and professionaly rewritten at a small cost. Whats more, you can even get several situational cover letters professionaly done by people who have the talent, training and experience to sell your most valuable brand-You.
Check this out CV Centre

Of Gift Horses

2009-08-17T22:21:00.003+03:00

I have just been remembering the somewhat surprising hospitality of the first landlady whose house I ever rented. Actually it wasnt her house, it was a small would be servant quarter for which I paid a whooping 4000 bob a month. The lady was very generous and would invite me to spend some time with her sons. At that time my life was only starting and I had neither a TV nor a tape player. My life was actually very boring.

During those invites sometimes my land lady would cook for her sons and me. I would be given very generous portions of whichever dish she made and all that was good. The only downside to it was that she was a painfully poor cook and I found her chapatis imposible to even chew. They were thick, tasteless and hard and often times I wondered if they were truly cooked. I dreaded the days she would invite me for dinner because I was brought up to understand that it was a bad to look a prize horse in the mouth. Somehow her sons enjoyed her pathetic meals so much that they would ask for a second helping. I kept on wondering how I would tell her without hurting her good heart that she need to up her game. I wished I could get some good cooking recipes somewhere and give her as a present. Only fear was that there was no knowing how she would take it.

I was myself not really a star and could not show her by my example of how good i was with my favorite chicken recipes

So we continued to 'enjoy' the largly impossible cooking. downing every mouthful with a large helping of good laughter and warm atmosphere. If it were today then I would offer her many of the free recipes available and help her put flavor to her good neihborliness.

But Seriously, how do you look a gift horse in the mouth?

Conflicts of interest

2009-08-11T19:11:00.002+03:00

Right at the time when one Raila Odinga Amolo was being given ultimatum on the Mau and indeed being threatened that his support from the Rift Valley is gone due to his quest to reforest the largest water reservoir, one good government spokesman was telling Kenyans that the government plans to make our lives better by cutting down trees and clearing 'bushes' to make the city in the sun really a city in the sun. we surely have a government of conflicts! It plants and destroys in equal measure.

But am intrigued by a post by one Mr. Gathara, asking if we indeed require a new constitution. am intrigued because i answered this same question in another forum almost 8 years ago. the priest who was taking us through the session almost excommunicated me from the great catholic church. but i have always held that a constitution to Kenyans is as good as picket fence to a wild bull on heat. People break the current laws with impunity so what will be different?

This Census Thing

2009-08-07T20:19:00.002+03:00

I keep on wondering how it is done elsewhere. Doesn't this national census thing stink and look colonial or is it just me? Is it not easier to just make sure every birth and death is registered? then have this data centrally in some good database? Every time i see the census advert, i shudder at the prospect of thugs masquerading as enumerators to terrorize the people. the situation as it is is so bad. thugs will just have a field day. And doesn't anyone else feel like cattle or sheep after being counted and the door marked?

Its an overdose , again

2009-07-29T09:49:00.002+03:00

It could only be me, but the Kenyan media especially TV are fond of overdosing us with programs. just a few years ago, every station worth its salt had to air latin american soaps with voice overs , beautiful people, nice houses and flowers and very poor acting. We were overdosed until we became sick then in came the oga movies. the story was the same. husband snatching and witchcraft, prayer and big money all going together. then fast followed 'local' production of home made movies and series and now i feel really overdosed with reality competitions, mara top this , best in that etc all at the same time. Does anyone ever do market surveys?

And as i relax at home for a well deserved vacation (not yet rich enough to go the mara) I cant help but watch live coverage of the EAC investor conference at the KICC. they started with 'light' entertainment. They cant be missed. if you were in Kenyan anywhere in the '80s the traditional dances and songs have remained largely the same with no value addition whatsoever. even mwana wa mberi (sp) was sung and danced to, then the pokomo dancers , kuria dancers and mamalaka choir. same script only younger performers. I saw these things when i was young i grew through them and now when am older than the performers they are the same. one thing i dread at being a politician is being bored with mediocre entertainment. But pray, what do our visitors think when they see the same entertainment year in year out?

What(er) Problem!

2009-07-21T08:58:00.003+03:00

If there is one thing I dread it is feeling helpless or knowing that am in a situation where I have little or no control. But since last week am finding myself in this particular situation due to acute shortage of water where I stay. What makes it more severe is the fact that I have very little or no control over how the water distribution or lack of it is done. Just last month, I went to the NWS offices to pay my bill and discovered that for the past 1 year I have been paying someone else's bill. The staff corrected the anomaly but did not offer even a simple sorry. This is what makes me angry. That am being served by people who are either hopelessly incompetent or sinfully corrupt. Worse is that I have no idea what to do about the situation.

Indeed every time any one shows me the water levels at ndakaini dam and tells me that if God doesn't send rain in the next 6 months things would get worse, I feel like smashing the telly (hasira hasara) It makes me feel very very desperate and helpless. That the CEO is there on TV telling me that in his old age, training and experience he knows no other way to get water to his customers other than from ndakaini which must be filled by the Almighty God. Where do they get water in Dubai, or Saudi Arabia, or even South Africa with no rivers nor ndakainis?

But when I was feeling helpless like that, my good friend Denis was already getting a solution to all the governmental failures. Denis tells me that he plans to create his own micro government and provide everything they have failed to provide to his family. How will he do it? Already started by acquiring 1 acre plot in Ngong hills (from someone who grabbed it from the forest!) He will then put up a wind mill so that his power will come whether it rains on not. He will also drill a bore hole so that Ndakaini doesn't control his life. Finally he plans to buy all the idle land around his home so that he can control development. His 'country' will have proper roads, trees grown and waste properly disposed.

Ni Mambo ya Siasa

2009-07-14T20:46:00.003+03:00

A lot has been said about Obama's sudden disgust with Kenyans and their governance. Many people who love to hate themselves have hailed his bitter criticism and 'snub' of the country of his fathers birth and said he is right through and through. Some are hoping that he will provide to us the missing leadership that we ravenously yearn for.

Lets start by saying that Obama was actually right on most counts. its true that corruption, tribalism, nepotism and all the isms or capitalism have trully conspired to bring our great nation to its knees. But really thats not the issue. The real issue as i see it is that Obama just proved what i had secretly feared , that the man is as a politician as Kibaki and Raila. Its not lost to anyone that Obama never mentioned anything negative about his fathers country deep into the campaigns of last year. it was all praise and good will to the fatherland. to me it was a play into the political or cultural psyche of the american people. From the movies and stories and even music that comes from that land of opportunity, its clear that those people are obsessed with human triumph stories. stories of people who beat all the odds to emerge victorious. Obama's tight attachment to Kenya at that time was strategic to make Americans want to be part of his great achievement as an orphan of a poor african goat herder who beat all odds to assume the hieghest office in the land. yet on reading his story, one realises that thats very far from truth. he in fact was of the few silver spoon kids who went to some of the best schools in America and elsewhere. Harvard in fact is not a 2 bob college. very far from goat herding.

So why the change now? I would think that Kenya is no longer strategic. We are now a liability. This change is no different from the change of Raila or Kibaki after they assumed the coveted offices.

and like Gumo used to say, na hiyo yote ni mambo ya siasa!

Excellent

2009-07-08T08:08:00.002+03:00

We have blogged several times about our president and most times about the negative things that we hope he could change. But this past day, his returning 8 fuel guzzlers to the dealers because they were irregularly acquired is out of this world. That single action made me proud to be a Kenyan. I hope there will be a follow up disciplinary action on the people who wanted to con comfort the emperor!

Great waste of our time dear shepherds!

2009-07-02T22:45:00.003+03:00

Each time i see our men and women of the pulpit call a press conference or invite the media to cover their blame of the political leaders for the problems we have, i simply switch off or change channels. Indeed each time i see these people am acutely reminded of everything that has gone wrong with our society. These men and women are the strongest reminder of the collective failure of our people to create a nation. They remind me everyday of my anger and hopelessness that even though almost each of the mainstream churches has celebrated a century of mission work in the country, they have failed to make our people see themselves as one and that our individual and collective difference in language, tradition and culture threaten us so much that we can never trust one another.

Yet every time its convenient, they come together and incite us to action. which action they know for sure that they are not ready to help us see to the end.

But my disdain of these people did not come yesterday, it did not even come last year when they burried their heads in the sand if not openly supporting their tribesmen and proding them to further negative action. it did not even come in 2007 when certain bishops openly took partisan or should we say tribal positions on every single issue.

my frustration started in 1997 when i first realised that all was lose talk. that at the bottom of it they teach us to love our neighbours but in reality they mean our selves and those who speak a language we understand.

These days they keep on blaming the politicians for not giving direction and not uniting the country. today they really do blame Raila and Kibaki for all the failures and they call all MPs to resign and seek fresh mandate. They conveniently forget that they have had longer time to unite the country, they have longer reach since they represent the most devine power. they even dont have our mandate but they have our unquestioning loyalty and faith. But how have they used all these opportunities? more than 100 years. they have failed on one single supreme law of the Lord they serve and vicar. that of loving the Lord with all your heart sould and mind and loving your neighbour as you love yourself.

The men of the pulpit have never approached me for my signature to complain about the govt. but for sure should any one of them bother, i will do them a great favor and tear into pieces even the papers which alread have other such wasted signatures.

Of Ministers and University

2009-06-25T10:51:00.002+03:00

A new bill is in the offing to force the president of the republic to appoint only men and woman of higher learning to the head ministries. A number of people are happy with this proposition but am just wondering, how will that work if there is no equal provision for the head of government and HOS to also have the degree?

Further when I read this news item, my mind was quickly taken back to my village and I remembered my good cousin Otieno. A simple young man of very modest education. Otieno only sat for class 8 after which he had to go to town (Nairobi) to look for work to help his siblings. Today Otieno who is much younger than me has already put up his own home, is married with 3 children and has a very stable family. Every time he comes home, teachers and local 'highly' educated individuals troupe to him for odd side jobs for a quick buck.

Then I also thought of Charity Ngilu who without a degree is quite a successful personality very principled and focused. in '97 she helped 15 men and women to see parliament some for the very first time in their lives. When she opted out of the party it died a natural death. There probably are many other examples but the bottom line is this: there are some life lessons that you don't get from the university and secondly university gives you a shortcut to knowledge but some street lessons are by far priceless and I hold that requiring a degree for ministers is not a very wise idea.

Further more in most professions mine included, industry certifications count for much more than a degree. For instance a person with CCNE or OCM certification is highly valued and their degree status will not even be considered. That's what I thought when I saw that one minister may be dropped even though he has CPA (K)!

An Age of Convinience

2009-06-21T18:06:00.003+03:00

The age we are in is often referred to as the information age and rightly so since today information is all you need to move anywhere. but information has become so much availble that it is nolonger really an age of information. Another thing that is more important in this age is convenience. I think we are currently living in an age of convinience. people want what they want but conviniently. Take phones for instance. who wants to keep on looking for keys to press to click and so on? People want touch phones with sensitive screens and shortcuts. And it doesn't matter the kind of phones the conveniences must be there.

Luckily all sorts of phones which are preferred by the majority are available with all these conveniences be they nokia touch phones or sumsung touch phones. What would you say to additional convinience of getting all this in all the colors you prefer, networks that you prefer and also in convinient monthly payments? When you add the free gifts that go with this purchase you get the absolute convininence on a variety of touch phones

The more they change ...

2009-06-15T12:16:00.004+03:00

They say that the more things change the more they remain the same. But this statement may be exaggerated or maybe meant only for those who never look for the change or see the change. I have been reading a lot of comments about UKs budget proposal last week. I have also heard those comments or watched them. For starters the media stations were almost predictable in their reactions. KTN and group were almost expected to punch large holes into the thing. They did not disappoint. Another station Kiss Fm which has successfully converted into a book of lamentations also did us proud and went the pessimist way. they are these days good at telling us all the bad things that are happening in our country and why we can never be any better. am tired. just tired. Nation media as is charasteristic was middle ground and reserved but it was citizen which was full of optimism. In fact citizen has introduced a new refreshing segment for the weekend which talks a lot about wealth creation and who owns Kenya. its a very uplifting segment.

But what do i like about the UK budget? mostly the CDF. every time I think about it. CDF is a master piece and a silencer to those who always blames marginalization for the lack of development. granted it aint enough but like it is said in the bible, those who cant budget with 10 bob can also not budget with 100 bob. They are the people who always see the glass as half empty all the time as opposed to half full. in fact in Kenya there is a third group who say that the glass is too big else it could be full!

its all about making the most with what you have and so probably the whiners will whine for kingdom come and the optimists will prosper even in times of peril.

On another note, my catholic church is of late getting very high media attention for its dogma on celibacy and priesthood. they say priests need to marry so that they become sexually responsible. that argument makes me sick because it reduces the institution of marriage to a mere sexual union. there is more to marriage than sex and any one who gets married to have sex has lost the plot by a long shot and will not be faithful even if he were married!!!

Beating the Slump

2009-06-02T07:57:00.004+03:00

What is the one thing you would urgently and willingly pay for during these hard economic times? For me that would be some decent piece of information on how to go against the tide and make some good money. But what if that information was available to you for free?! What if you had an information repository that gave you fast and reliable Wholesale news and even iced it with real good tips on Wholesale sources some tips of which are as hidden to the naked eye as a needle in a hay stack?!

Well it would be just the information you would want to grab and own. And with the fiber optic cable being launched this month by our good old president, the opportunities will be amazing. With super fast internet access and real time access to vast overseas markets for e-commerce, e-support (or is it i-support). ideas on Drop ship are for sure priceless.

Like they say success is made up of some good quality education but also the kind of gut feel know how that only matures with age which calls for time. But time is what you don't have especially if you must survive the slowest economic growth since the mad days of wars, coups and counter coups. That experience from traders and business people from all the five continents on Wholesale sources would be truly invaluable. Now imagine all this is all but a click away!