The Life Of A College Stay At Home Mom

Wordless Wednesday - Blizard

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:21:00 +0000

Pictures from the two feet of snow we got on Tuesday.

Baby K'Tan: Review & Discount

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:25:00 +0000

So for next few weeks I will be highlighting nursing and baby products that have made my life easier as the mother of a 1 1/2 year old and new born. Today's review is the baby carrier Baby K'tan.

With the birth of my son Mathew I have really been looking into baby carriers as I wanted to be able to have him close while chasing around my 15 month old daughter. Now if you know Samantha you know that I need something simple but secure. Samantha is always climbing, running, and generally causing small hurricanes where ever she goes so if I am going to have Mathew strapped to me it better hold up. When Samantha was little I bought a Moby Wrap because it seemed to be the most secure carrier for my wiggly girl. It quickly became my favorite carrier as it was the most comfortable carrier that I had tried. I wore Samantha in it everywhere. The only thing that I did really like was all the wrapping that you had to do before getting the baby in. So with Mathew's birth I decided that I would look for something that had the same amount of comfort but easier to put on. That is when I came across the Baby K'tan.

The Baby K'tan holds the baby very much the same way the the wrap does but it has two loops to put on in stead of all the wrapping.

What makes the Baby K'tan different from other carriers?

Easy to use and put on; NO WRAPPING (see instructions)
Unique figure 8 design and sliding lumbar band (patent pending) offers greater support for back and shoulders
Over 8 positions from preemie to preschool (42 lbs.)

My take on the Baby K'tan

The Baby K'tan took awhile for me to get use to even though it is really easy to use but that is just me because I always take awhile to get use to a new carrier. The first time that I wore it was when Mathew was only a few days old and I wore him in the cradle position and I walk quite a ways with him. The Baby K'tan lived up to my expectations of being like my wrap and being comfortable. It also worked great as a carrier for very little babies. Mathew was 7lbs 4oz, so pretty small and I know that there are carriers that you have to wait till they get to a certain weight. This will also work for older babies though I have not yet tried it with my daughter but that is good to know as its nice to have a carrier that works for younger and older babies.

The only negative think I do have to say is that I am not sure I felt that it is as secure as my wrap. Not that I felt like Mathew was going to fall out or anything its just that the Baby K'tan does not wrap around you the same and so I felt like I didn't have as much carrying him as I like. I really like to have lots of support for Mathew and myself. So I still have to say that the wrap is still my favorite for that reason.

Altogether I love the Baby K'tan and I will be using it a lot when I need a back up for my wrap.

Connect

You can connect with Baby K'tan on Facebook and Twitter

Discount for my readers

Now through December 25th you can get a 10% discount on the Baby K'tan using the coupon code CSAHM

Marriage Monday: Releasing Your Husband

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:30:00 +0000

Today's Marriage Monday tip comes from Proverbs 31 Ministries.

The Just Right Present
by Melanie Chitwood

Remember as a child how you hoped for that one special Christmas present? Maybe after opening some great presents, but not the just-right one, you felt a little tug on your heart as you wondered if you were going to get that present.

Me too. Just as it seemed all the presents had been opened, my parents brought out one final box. I grabbed it with eagerness. The lavish wrapping and the sounds I heard while shaking the box confirmed this had to be the one. I ripped off the paper, dug into the box, and pulled out…a very nice sweater, not the ju st-right Christmas gift. I smiled and said thank you, but could barely hide my disappointment.

I've noticed how my expectations of my husband can often be like my expectations over the just-right Christmas present. I think that's true for a lot of us. Just like we admired the beautiful holiday wrapping, we admire our husband's handsome exterior. We've checked him out enough to be sure that he'll be the one to make us happy. Certainly he's the just-right husband! When the gift of our husband turns out to be not just-right, not just what we expected, we can barely hide our disappointment. We turn to unhelpful coping mechanisms to deal with our disappointment.

We might try to control and manipulate our husband to become the just-right gift we hoped for. Maybe we become critical and judgmental. Or maybe we just give up, withdraw, and settle for an empty marriage. Worse yet, perhaps we grow convinced we married the wrong person.

These ways of coping will not give us th e marriage God longs for us to have, a marriage of intimacy, partnership and closeness like no other. In fact, they do just the opposite. Bitterness, frustration and anger take root in our heart. Consequently, instead of feeling united and close to our husband, we experience distance and disconnection.

So what's a girl to do when she's feeling like she got the not-just-right husband? How can she handle expectations and disappointments in marriage?

We lay them down. We open our hands and release our husband from the tight grip of our expectations. We pray with honesty, "Lord, I am feeling disappointed by my husband. Help me handle this in a way that will be best for our marriage and in way that will please You."

As we seek the Lord with an open heart, He'll show us when to talk to our husband about a disappointing situation, or when to be quiet. He'll mold our heart, so we can pour out His love and acceptance to our husband.

Now, if you're like me, sometimes you think, But wait a minute! My husband really does need to change…he should be more attentive, he should help out more, he should have remembered my birthday. I don't want to live with these disappointments!

Maybe our husband should change, and maybe he will. I can promise you, however, that the Holy Spirit can do a greater work of transformation in our husband than we ever could as his wife.

This Christmas give your husband the gift of releasing him from your expectations. Give yourself the gift of a contented heart in your marriage. And give God thanks for your husband … His just-right Christmas present to you.

This was something that I was tempted to say that I did not need to do as I have always felt that I did not deserve my husband but as I was reflecting on this email I realized that there are times when I am frustrated with him that I wish he was different. So this is something that I am going to work on!

Do you need to release your husband?

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:34:00 +0000

November 9th I received yet another email from Proverbs 31 Ministries that I was excited about that I had to share with my readers because its exactly what I have been learning to do especially with the birth of my son!

Communing Over Chaos by Whitney Capps

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4 (NIV)

I am out-going and chatty. I like to make fun of myself. I love to laugh. I enjoy being with people – until I don't. You see, at heart I am an introvert. At some point I can sense my energy waning. I begin to crave quiet, silence and solitude.

This is why I cherish quiet time with the Lord. I love the stillness of sitting and reading the Word or a book that turns my heart toward Jesus. My husband knows that one way to fill my love tank is to give me an evening of going out to dinner alone: just me, Jesus and a good book. (All you extroverts just cringed at the thought of eating alone didn't you?) Don't get me wrong, I adore my family, but I need mental white space.

However, with three kids under age four, quiet time with the Lord is an endangered species. I don't often get to go the bathroom by myself. If the water closet isn't a quiet place, you can imagine the chaos that follows me to my prayer closet.

For a few months after our youngest was born I lived in a spiritual desert. My soul was parched. I was desperate for quiet time with Jesus and prayed earnestly for God to help me find time to be alone with Him. Faithfully, He always provided, but often my tired and flesh-wrapped spirit dozed off in prayer or got distracted by other things.

I couldn't consistently make it work. After several months of mostly failed attempts, I cried out to God, "I don't know how to be alone with You!"

"Daughter, you don't have to be alone with Me. Just be with Me. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you."

Rather than give up on being with Jesus because it's not like it used to be, my Savior is asking me to abide with Him all day. God has ordained this season of my life and He knows even better than I do how much my children demand of me. In the clamor of the sword fights and confusion in the playroom, He is my hiding place.

I am learning to seize each moment, and see it as an opportunity to fellowship with Jesus. While my kids recite "God is great; God is good," I have a chat with Jesus. When I feel alienated from girlfriends, I read a magazine article. P31 Woman and Today's Christian Woman magazines are spiritual lifeboats for me in this season. While my kids do art at the kitchen table, I read a psalm or two. Whenever possible I try to have praise music playing in our house. Sometimes singing those lyrics is the closest my heart may come to meaningful prayer time all day.

Please hear me. I am not suggesting that these brief moments should replace consistent, focused times of prayer and Bible study. Those habits are hallmarks of Christian discipleship and growth. I am learning, however, to rethink my ideas on fellowship with Jesus. In this season of my life it's not so much the quantity of quiet reflection as it is the steady communing over chaos. But hey, at least we are together!

Can you see why I was so excited to get this email?!?! I have shared with you in the past my struggles in this area and now I don't feel bad for what I was doing and am doing now!! I can rest in the fact that as a mother of two under two I am not always going to get to sit down for a structured quite time!

Does this help you as a mom trying to balance time with Lord and your family?

Wordless Wednesday - My Little Man

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:37:00 +0000

We are all in love with the new addition to our family!

This last one is my favorite one of them all :)

Exciting News!!

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:57:00 +0000

Mathew Wilson Eis was born at 1:59 PM, weighs 7lbs 4oz, is 19 1/4 inches long and is perfect as can be!!! ♥

Wordless Wednesday - Last Date Night Before Baby

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:05:00 +0000

On Sunday Mathew and I were able to get away for a few hours without Samantha. We took a trip down to Sedona and here are some pictures from our trip.

Just one of the amazing pictures my Dearest took.

For dinner we ate at the Silver Saddle. This interesting plate of food has Burmese Python from Vietnam (the light colored skewers), Buffalo (the dark colored skewers), and cactus fries. First time for snake and cactus fries but they were really good!

Here we had a Buffalo Steak! Buffalo is my all time favorite meat and I would eat it all the time if not for the price.

My Strong Willed Child - Update

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:13:00 +0000

I thought that I would give a little update on how things have been going in learning about my strong willed daughter and what we have been doing.

After reading through the books that I had picked up (you can see what I got here) to help us out with Samantha I figured out that most books are geared toward older children. Some of the ideas like time outs work on her but ideas like reality discipline (which is something I really want to use on my children) do not really work on a child as young as Sam. This was a little frustrating as I need to get a handle on thing now before the baby came and I was chasing her around with a newborn. Sam had learned that she could get away with things with me because I did not know how to handle her.

Thankfully God knew that I needed help and just when I was at the end of my rope Family Life Today came out with a new program that they decided to share highlights of last week.

Some of the best parenting advice that I have come across yet was this program done by Dennis & Barbara Rainy. Their program focused on childhood discipline and training from the ages of newborn up to five years which no one else had really talked about. They hit all the questions that Mathew and I have been having in dealing with Samantha.

Right From The Start: A Biblical Approach to Early Childhood Discipline

You can listen to parts of the Right From the Start program on Family Life Today - Dennis Rainy .

This is one of the best programs that I have heard from Family Life Today since it focused on what I am facing in my life right now. Thankfully after applying what we learned through this program things have been so much better with Samantha. This of course was after a few really rough days of her pushing back just as hard as we were pushing. There have been more spankings and time outs in those few days then I had ever had to deal with and I was having such a hard time pushing so hard 24/7 but I was told to stick to it and things would get better which was very true. Once Samantha learned that she could not get away with things that she was told specifically no on (she got a spank right away if she decided to do it after being told no instead of me saying no five times) and that we were not going to be easy on her she decided that she could live with not getting her own way all the time and now she is being her sweet self again. There are still time when she still tries to get her way but if I am consistent in disciplining her the problem gets dealt with right away and we can go back to having a good time.

I seriously encourage those with children between the ages of newborn to five to listen to this series because everything is based on the Bible and works to get things under control!!!!

I will continue to update on what I am learning in the future. I am sure I will need to learn lots more once we have two children under two in the house!

What about you? Have you found or have any good advice for disciplining really young children?

Marriage Monday - Get A Good Book

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:33:00 +0000

Today for Marriage Monday my tip is to pick up a good marriage book and read it together with your spouse. Yeah I know there is not much time these days for anyone to just sit down and read but I know from experience that reading a good book together can help out a lot in marriage. If you want to some recommendations on good marriage books check out my page On My Book Shelf.

Do you have any good marriage books that you would recommend?

Winner of Swelly Belly Band!!!

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:31:00 +0000

Sorry to be getting this out late but my little family and I have been under the weather :(

Here is the image from Random.org

Comment 13 was Andrea!!! You do not know how excited I was to see that it was her because she is a close friend here on the NAU campus that is just getting started out in the blogging world (as you will see from her blog) because of me ;)

Thank you so much for all the entries and don't for get about the Shower Hug giveaway!!

Shower Hug - Perfect Hug for New Mommies and Mommies-To-Be {Review and Giveaway}

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:47:00 +0000

Sorry this is such a late post but I woke up not feeling the greatest this morning and so things have been slow in getting done here. Also this is the review that was supposed to be out on Friday :P

A few month ago I got the chance to try out a product that I have been ogling over since I became pregnant with this second baby. When I became pregnant with both my first and second child I also had the joy of having very sensitive breasts. Shower time was hard as I tried to shield myself from the water while getting everything clean. Then I came across the Shower Hug by belmama & cherub.

From the Shower Hug website:

The Shower Hug™ is made of the highest quality knit terry velour. It has a gentle stretch built-in, to provide you with bust-line support needed during pregnancy and after your little cherub has arrived. The fabric is super soft and will add comfort and luxury to every shower.

For use in the shower, the Shower Hug™:

Provides gentle bust line support for full and engorged breasts
Acts as a warm compress to soothe tender breasts and ease engorgement
Shields sensitive nipples and breasts from direct contact with harsh shower sprays
Protects nipples and areolas from direct contact with soap and other chemical residues found in many toiletries. A big plus for breastfeeding moms!

Many of our customers have enjoyed the Shower Hug™ so much, they wear it outside of the shower as well. The Shower Hug™:

Provides an alternative to a traditional or nursing bra for soft, comfortable support. Strap-free design relieves pressure on shoulders
Prevents nighttime leaks with or without the use of adhesive breastfeeding pads
Offers hands-free convenience to hold cold packs and heat packs in place.

The Shower Hug™ is not just for the bust-line! The Shower Hug™ comforts those recovering from C-section deliveries. Simply wrap the Shower Hug™ around your hips and lower abdomen to:

Gently and softly support your healing tummy, in and out of the shower
Protect your incision from harsh shower sprays and chemical residues that can irritate sensitive and healing skin

I can honestly say that this is one of my favorite pregnancy products and I can't wait to try it out after the baby comes because this would have been a life saver with my first. With my first child I became very engorged and was broken open and bleeding from improper latching and I so wish that I had this for showers and just to wear during the day while I was healing!!! I will be doing another review of the Shower Hug after the baby comes :) I love to wear it now even when not in the shower because it is so comfortable and soft! If you are tender while pregnant or are trying to heal from nursing I HIGHLY recommend the Shower Hug!!! I will be doing another review of the Shower Hug after the baby comes :)

Pros:

Protects from the sting of the shower water
Amazingly soft fabric
Creates a compress during engorgement
Is perfect if you want something comfortable and supportive to wear during day or night.
Will make healing from nursing easier

Cons:

I can honestly say that I have no cons for this product. Even the price is amazing considering all that it does!

belmama & cherub have generiosly offered one CollegeSAHM reader one of their Shower Hugs!!

Rules: Leave a comment for each entry

Visit the Shower Hug website and leave a comment telling me one feature of the Shower Hug that appeals to you most (if this is not done then no other entries count)

Extra entries:

Become a email subscriber to CollegeSAHM
Follow Shower Hug on Twitter
Become a fan of Shower Hug on Facebook
Tweet this giveaway using Review and Giveaway for @ShowerHug over at @CollegeSAHM http://bit.ly/3Efbcu Perfect for pregnant and nursing mommies!!!! and leave me the link.

This giveway will go until October 28 at 11:59 PM at which time I will chose a winner using Random.org.

Will We Make It? - Encoragement For Those in the Middle of Parenting

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:27:00 +0000

This past Saturday I was so encoraged by the message that my pastor at North Point Fellowship shared that I had to share it with you. We have been working through the book of Habakkuk (a tiny book near the end of the new testament that I had never read) for the past couple of weeks and though the messages coming out of the book have all been good this one really stood out to me. It gave me encouragement to keep pressing on as a parent. Many many times as we have moved with a four week old baby, started classes as parents, became pregnant with our second, and just worked through the little life issues that have come our way Mathew and I have asked each other "Will we make it? Will we endure?". Well Pastor Paul answered our questions with his message. The message is about 40 minutes long but I encourage you to take the time to listen to this encouragement for our lives. I often re-listen to messages when I am cleaning.

10-04-09 - Habakkuk - Part 4 by Pastor Paul Meldrum

I hope to do another post on what Pastor Paul talked about and ways that I am working to do what he shared.

Wordless Wednesday

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:10:00 +0000

Giving Your Spouse a Break - Marriage Monday

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:17:00 +0000

Today I have a simple little tip to share but one that makes a big difference in my marriage. Something that Mathew & I have learned the past couple of months is that we both need little breaks from each other and just family (i.e. children, house, chores) stuff. Now this could be just because we spend a good amount of our time together when Mathew is not in class (he works from home) but it makes a big difference when we let the other get away for a little bit. When we start getting short with each other or are having a hard time handling normal everyday things we try and make sure that we get a chance to get away. This can be as simple as going to the local coffee shop for a couple of hours or for me it has been doing MOPS every couple of weeks. Doing this helps us to break up the monotony of every day life and refresh for the next set of issues that come our way.

What do you do in your marriage to break up the monotony of everyday life?

SwellyBelly Band and Nusing Cover by Nine Moons! (CLOSED)

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:28:00 +0000

This giveaway is now closed. To see winner click here.

Today I have an exciting review and giveaway!! I recently got the chance to review the SwellyBelly Maternity Belly Band and Nursing Cover™ by Nine Moons. I cannot believe that I waited this long to try a belly band!! This would have made my whole pregnancy easier!

Facts about the SwellyBelly Maternity Belly Band and Nursing Cover™

* You can use it with your pre-pregnancy or your maternity shirts.
* You will use 1 SIZE for your entire pregnancy and the same size for your post pregnancy/nursing use.
* The SwellyBelly is stretchy and not constrictive (you will be able to breath in it).
* The SwellyBelly is made out of silky breathable material so you will not overheat.
* It has 2 elastic bands, one on top and one on bottom insuring it does not moves around or rise up on your back.
* It will keep your belly covered therefore keeping it warm in the winter (you know how it it cools down below the shirts).
* Even though we say to hand wash the band, lay flat to dry, you can actually machine wash and dry it.
* Many woman will stop you on the street and ask you where did you buy this shirt!
* The SwellyBelly is a fashion accessory.

I got to try out the Purple Haze belly band.

This is such an amazing product! It has made it possible for me to wear shirts that I would have only worn when I am not pregnant. I cannot wait to try it out while nursing (there will be a review when I get there ;)). Oh and I love the fabric this is made out of. I thought that I would have issues with a belly band since I get pretty itchy while pregnant and don't usually like anything extra over my tummy but this fabric is smooth and silky so I have no issues with it. So wish i had lots of money to get one in every color!!

Pros:

Extends non maternity wardrobe.
Is made out of smooth silky fabric.
Is totally fashionable (I get lots of compliments when I wear it).
Does not move around at all (something I was afraid of at first).
Will be perfect for extra coverage while nursing.

Cons:

The only con I have is that it cost a lot for someone like me but its totally worth it!

This is the perfect product for those of us who are pregnant and nursing though I am sure that I will be wearing mine long after I am either.

Would you like to win one?!?!

Rules:

Go to Nine Moons and tell me which color and size you would like (If this is not done no other entries will count).

Extra Entries: (leave a separate comment for each)

Subscribe to CollegeSAHM by email or blogger.
Follow CollegeSAHM via Facebook
Become a Fan of SwellyBelly on Facebook
Follow SwellyBelly on Twitter

Good Luck! Giveaway will go until October 16 11:59 PM at which time I will chose a winner using Random.org.

P.S. Be looking out for another great product review and giveaway next Friday!

A Mother's Boutique Blogiversary

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:46:00 +0000

One of my favorite blogs is having a one year blogiversary party with many prizes from the store that is represents...

Go and check out all the wonderful prizes for those of that are pregnant or nursing!!

Keeping Prayer On My Lips

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:25:00 +0000

Here are some verses that I have been meditating on. I want learn to be able to keep prayer on my lips through out the day because then my day goes much better then when I do not.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Colossians 4:2

Keeping prayer on my lips with a thankful heart has also been hard since I tend to make my prayers desperate prayers for help to deal with something :P Sometimes I wish I did not learn things so slowly!

Do you need to learn to keep prayer on your lips?

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Just wanted to let my readers know about an awesome opportunity coming up starting tomorrow. I love reading and want to pass the love on to my children (I am working on it right now with Samantha) so anything to help others with that I am all for!

SiteWarming Thursday: Help #Jumpstart Childhood Literacy!

"Ensuring that the next generation has access to quality literature and early education is all of our responsibility, and Walmart is committed to doing our part." - Walmart Foundation President Margaret McKenna

On October 8th, join Walmart and Jumpstart as we Read for the Record! Join us as we read Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar in an attempt to beat the world record for the most people reading the same book on the same day. The goal is to break the 1 million mark and raise not only awareness for childhood literacy but also funds for Jumpstart.

As the official retail partner for Jumpstart, every Walmart store across the country will feature a limited edition copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar on sale for $8. Walmart will be donating the net proceeds from the sale of the book to Jumpstart, one of the nation's leading non-profits in the field of early childhood education. Jumpstart's goal is to prepare children so that every child enters school ready to succeed!

How You Can Help:
- Take the Pledge - Join us as we pledge to Read for the Record, promote literacy, and raise money for Jumpstart.
- Donate to the Cause - Learn more about how to donate.
- Buy the Book - Purchase the book at your local Walmart to donate all net proceeds to Jumpstart.
- Playdates with a Purpose - If you're having a playdate on 10/8, plan to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar and pledge to Read for the Record!

- Tweet with Us Thursday! By joining the party Thursday from 9 to 10 p.m. ET on Twitter and using the hashtag #Jumpstart, you will help us raise awareness about this important campaign.

Prizes: To thank you for your help in spreading the word, Walmart will be awarding one copy of the limited edition The Very Hungry Caterpillar to every 100th tweet using the #jumpstart hashtag beginning at 8 am ET and up to 500 copies. Winners will be contacted.

RSVP Here: http://bit.ly/KvHpb

I definitely ant to be in on the twitter party since you can win a copy of the Very Hungry Caterpillar!! So if you follow me on twitter you will see me tomorrow tweeting about this awesome opportunity :)

Wordless Wednesday

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:46:00 +0000

Pictures taken this past weekend. First baby bump pictures with this baby...

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:30:00 +0000

This Marriage Monday I will be sharing a story that I think came from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I stumbled upon the story awhile ago and tucked it away on my blog and forgot to finish it so I can't remember where it came from. Anyway it is a good reminder to check our marriages...

While shopping for some nail polish remover, I stumbled upon a bottle of jewelry cleaner. As I picked it up and tossed it into my cart, I reflected on the days when I always kept jewelry cleaner so that I could keep my wedding ring sparkling and shiny. Somewhere in the rush of life, I stopped doing that, and it had been years since I polished up my very dirty, dingy diamond.

When I got home, I cracked open the new bottle and put my rings in to soak overnight. The next morning, I fished the m out and used the little brush to scrub away any remaining dirt. As I slipped the rings on, I couldn't believe the difference! I knew my rings were dirty but I had no idea how sparkling the cleaner would make them. All day I kept looking down at my hand to admire the way the diamond reflected the light, brilliant and shiny instead of dirty and dingy.

God reminded me that my experience was a great illustration for how I have treated my marriage at times. Where once I worked hard to look nice for my husband, I often meet him after a long day in my pajamas un-showered and unprepared to welcome him. Where once I took time to really listen to him, I let my thoughts wander when he talks, figuring I had heard it all before. Where once I looked forward to our time alone, I get in the car with a bored sigh, and a, "Where do you want to eat?" My shiny, sparkly, exciting marriage that I couldn't wait for had turned into a dirty, dingy drudgery that I forgot to take care of.

As I admired my diamond that day, I thought of ways I could "clean" my marriage, restoring it to the brilliance that God desired for us:

• Taking time to at least brush my hair and put some gloss on my lips
before I saw my husband at the end of the day.
• Committing to regular exercise and taking care of myself, so I would feel
better and look better.
• Treating him respectfully and watching both my words and my tone to him.
• Apologizing when I blow it and humbly seeking his forgiveness.
• Investing regular, consistent time into us by making the effort to plan
date nights and secure a sitter.
• Really listening to him when he confides in me, not letting my thoughts
wander to my to-do list.
• Spending time with him without feeling like we have to talk all the time.
• Respecting the differences in each of us, instead of fighting against
them.

Of course I don't do these things perfectly every day, but I do have a renewed vision for what my marriage needs. Just like my diamond needed to be restored after neglect, so did my marriage. I can't become complacent or despondent about this most important relationship. I have to strip off the buildup of stress and busyness, scrub away any resentment or distance. When I do that, God has shown me that He will restore my marriage to its original brilliance and sparkle, reminding us both why we said "I do" all those years ago.

My list is a little different then hers:

Dressing up for my husband for more then just when we are leaving the house
Letting him get away from the house for some time by himself (because he can work from home and we live on campus he is here at the house most of the day)
Make sure that he has time to unwind after busy days
To make sure that the house does not always look like a hurricane went through it (for me this means picking up after Sam at the end of the day and keeping up with dishes)

There is lots more that I could add to that list but those are the things that I try and keep at the top so that Mathew feels loved and respected by me.

Do you or should you have a list? What is on your list?

Advice for Motherhood

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:39:00 +0000

Today I wanted to share some advice for motherhood that I found from Above Rubies

Moanhood Or Motherhood

“Who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

I am often drawn to this text as I pray for God to mold me into the woman He desires me to be, no matter how much against the stream of normalcy it seems.

My Interlinear Bible, which is translated directly from the Hebrew, inspires me when I read, “Who can find an able woman? For her value is far above jewels.” The word “able” hit me with a giant thud. I wasn’t as pricked by the word “virtuous” as virtues seem to abound in the feminine sex! I’m only being slightly sarcastic! But “able”! “Able”?

As mothers and wives we often spend wasted brain space mulling over just the opposite. Do these words sound familiar? “I can’t do it anymore!” “I don’t have the energy!” “I’m drained! I have nothing more to give.” “I’m too tired! I’m completely exhausted and wasted. I can’t do one more thing!” We talk ourselves out of any last vestige of energy, and by the power of our minds we feel even more tired than we really are!

“Honey, not tonight! Actually I’ve got a headache. No, it’s a migraine.” “Oh, I just need some time for myself.” “I feel so used. Nobody appreciates what I do around here.” “I’ve got to get out. I’ve got cabin fever.” “I didn’t get a good sleep last night. Come to think of it, I never get a good sleep. It’s all making me old before my time. I found a new wrinkle this morning.”

Ugh! This is putting me in the doldrums just writing about it!

How can our husband value us more than jewels when our lives are one big complaint?

It is true that we talk ourselves into more than half of our problems. How can we be “able” women and how can our husbands and children truly value us above jewels when our lives are one big complaint? I think the key to being “able” is more about being positive than it is about all the talent and intellect we can possess. There are many gifted people who never accomplish half of what the mere motivated and persevering achieve.

How can we be positive mothers when we have made a career of being professional moaners?

Have we embraced moanhood instead of motherhood? Just as negativity is a habit, so is a positive and happy heart. The more we think on the good things, the more they become naturally part of our nature. The negative muscles become floppy, weak and slowly deteriorate when we don’t use them. Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on things that are pure and lovely. If we make a habit of thinking about the lovely things, in turn, our lives will be a lot lovelier.

We can become negative by worrying about the future. We may dwell today on all the work we have to do tomorrow or even in the months to come. Again, the wisdom of the Bible frees our minds and makes for a happy mother when it says, “Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)

God is very interested in our thought-life and in the confessions of our lips. Here are just a few quotes:

“A merry heart does good like medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22)
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)
“Gird up the loins of your mind.” (1 Peter 1:13)

A positive attitude breathes life into our soul and body and actually gives us energy.

A positive attitude breathes life into our souls and bodies and actually gives us energy. Satan is all to eager to plant seeds of negativity into our minds because he knows they are seeds of death and make us unable. Negativity is based upon fear, which chokes the very life out of its victims and renders them practically immobile. Negativity holds us captive in a prison of gloom. Being positive frees us to succeed and thrive. Some people see their negative outlook as being realistic. This is another trap of the enemy; a smoke screen to blind us to the truth that will set us free to really live and enjoy life.

There are always two ways to look at things. I exercise everyday as part of my job description as a fit, healthy and happy wife and mother. Many times while on the treadmill in my kitchen I start thinking, “I feel awful. My legs are burning. I can hardly breath. I feel like pulling the plug.” With every second I grow more tired and soon feel completely drained. The fact is everything I’m feeling is truth. However, when I “gird up my mind” I remember how good I’ll feel afterwards and that 30 minutes isn’t that long. “I’ve only got 15 more minutes to go. I’m breathing really well now, and hey, this is easy. I feel great. I’ll race anyone. I’m going to pick up my pace. Wow, look at me go!” There is as much truth in this second thought process and I injected myself with a bunch of energy and ended up with a full tank.

You may get up in the morning, sigh and drag yourself to the coffee pot confessing, “I was up with the baby for four solid hours last night. I can’t make it through today.” This may be true, but the other side of the story is that you had four good hours of sleep. We can feel just as good as we can feel bad.

Thinking negatively involves the “me” word. It makes one too introspective. My mother always says, “If you are feeling depressed, go and do something for someone else. You’ll soon forget about your own problems.”

The negative “so called” facts are not truth at all. They are the enemy’s poisonous darts. To contemplate them digs their venom deeper into your mind. The truth is: we are new creatures in Christ. We are to crucify the “flesh man” and live by the Spirit. The fruit of the Holy Spirit such as patience and longsuffering are now our new character traits. In Christ we can bear way more than the level the devil deceives us into thinking we can handle.

The second line of Proverbs 31:10 reads, “The heart of her husband trusts in her so that he has no lack of gain.” The New Living Translation reads, “She will greatly enrich his life.” How can we enrich our husbands when our own lives are anything but enriched? We can’t give from a drained pot. Often we feel empty and exhausted, not because of our tedious workload so much as the state of our mental reflections.

How can a husband feel enriched if his wife is not contended and happy?

How can a husband have “no need of gain” if his wife isn’t happy and contented? If we greet him at the door with a tired expression, a list of complaints, and quickly pass off all the children to him, his welcome home will not be very enriching. It may make him want to retreat! Home should be a solace from the worry and stress with which the world assails him. It should be a place of enriching, a gas station to fill his tank before venturing back into his world of business and stress. Our homes should be an oasis where our husband can take a cool drink of the water of peace, love and laughter. We should meet him at the door with a bright smile, a warm welcome, and with a cheery atmosphere pervading the home.

If he asks how our day was, and we remember how Suzie cut off her little sister’s hair, how Johnny peed on the clean folded clothes, or how the baby spread the surprise in his diaper like peanut butter around the crib, we might feel compelled to say it was a “bad day”. But wait a second! Let’s get out of our negative tunnel vision and see the big picture. There were no major accidents. We are all still alive and breathing. Suzie did really well at her reading lesson and Johnny picked some weeds from the garden and said I was a “beaubibul laby.” It was a lovely day. Come to think of it, it was a great day!

When the atmosphere of our home is filled with optimism, our husband and children will feel they can do anything.

The Proverbs 31 woman “opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue.” As hormonal creatures, we women can sometimes become so emotionally pent up that when our husbands come home we vomit our feelings all over them before they have a chance to take off their coats. We were made to be our husbands’ helpmeets. We were made to complete them and enrich their lives. God did not create man to be the woman’s emotional counselor or hormonal dartboard. The more we press into God and become positive-thinking women, the less we will be inclined to emotionally regurgitate. Spurting out a bunch of negative goo gah is not opening our mouths in wisdom. Nor is it kind. It is like serving our husbands a glass of gravel instead of giving them a refreshing drink of happiness.

Men are not emotional sorts and just don’t get the problem. My friend told me how she told her husband that she was feeling “out of sorts.” He replied, “Don’t feel out of sorts.” This reply was the right answer but not the one she wanted to hear. Men are wired differently so when our skies look gray we need to go to God first and then maybe call a close girlfriend who will lend a listening ear.

Proverbs 31 continues with its description of the able woman. “She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms… she extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy…strength and dignity are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come… she watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

A hardworking woman doesn’t have time to waste in negative contemplation. She has more important things pressing on her mind. If we are truly busy we won’t have time to stop and moan. I can’t picture Mother Theresa complaining about how tired she was or turning away another child.

I love the way the curtains draw on the “able” woman. “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” The Hebrew word for “praises” is “halal”. It means “to shine, to make a show, to boast, to rave, to glorify, to make renown. The root of this word has the idea of radiance.” Are we worthy of such acclamation?

Let us take on a spirit of rejoicing and do away with negative gloom. We will then be free to be ‘able’ women whose value is above jewels.

SERENE ALLISON

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

If you have not been over to Above Rubies then I suggest that you go and check them out! They are an amazing resource for motherhood, child rearing, marriage , and so much more. I have been getting their magazine for a couple of years now and they always seem to show up in the mail right when I need them. I will also be getting some of their teachings on CD to add to my stuff for battling spiritual dryness.

Marriage Monday - God is There

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:30:00 +0000

My tip today for Marriage Monday is a really simple one but often times those are the ones that we tend to forget...

Remember that God is there in our marriages...a light in our darkness...a strength in our weakness...

This song says it better then I could.

Do you have a tip for Marriage Monday?

Ways of Battling Spiritual Dryness - Quick Tips for Moms

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:20:00 +0000

Today I want to share some of the ways that I have been battling the spiritual dryness that I have been facing.

A couple of weeks ago I was really struggling with being a mom but I realized when talking to my husband that just being a mom 24/7 was not all that I was having a hard time with but rather it was more that my relationship with my heavenly father was not quite right. Ever since moving to Flagstaff I have been suffering from spiritual dryness because I was not being fed in the way that I needed from the church that we attend here. I was seriously missing my old church in Mesa (City Of Grace) but I realized that I cannot always rely on a church to feed me. There will be places that I live that I do not have access to a good church that meets all my needs like now and in the future if Mathew and I end up becoming missionaries. Talking with Mathew I learned that I really never learned to feed myself and this was becoming a problem. So with this knowledge I have been turning to a couple of different places to change this.

One of the first things that I did was send off an email to a older mom friend of mine. I asked her how she found time to feed herself when she had younger children running around. Here is her response:

Your deduction of the correlation between your spiritual walk and journey of motherhood is very well perceived Felicia. The older I get, now 44, the more I realize that the health of my personal spiritual walk has a direct correlation with my perception and management on motherhood. I could also easily add my marriage, my friendships and my outook on life. The last five years have been the richest I have ever experienced in my walk with my Lord. It has been in my deepest valleys and struggles that I have come to know my Lord with a sweet degree of intimacy. This relationship did not develop through church as that that is not where you will mature. I do think it is often far too easy to attend church and rely on someone else's study to feed you. So, here are just a few ideas to get you going.

I use my i-touch in my personal quiet time often to listen to music that stirs my soul. This is how I often start out. When I had little one like you, I FEASTED on lots of tapes by Elisabeth Elliot. You may think she is OLD but spiritual principles are not dated. I have hundreds of her tapes. I listened to those probable for five years solid when my children were all babies and toddlers.

In this day of the world-wide web, you have before you a feast of information and I am firmly convince that one can be spiritually fed and voraciously grow in the lord if you are not in fellowship. I am pretty constantly listening to sermons I have downloaded. When I had babies, I would walk with a tape cassette on my hip and buds in my ears. I would even listen to my tapes when I was ironing. Purpose to place in you mind excellent and challenging material Felicia. Do not be content with mediocrity. R. C. Sproul said "Life changes when the mind changes." Daily be in the word, even in snippets. If I can't sleep at night, even now I might just stay in bed and listen to something encouraging. It was difficult to sometimes accept the small amounts of time I had. That is why the tapes, cd's and now podcasts have been such a blessing. Maybe all you can do is plan 30 minutes a day to try and listen to something.

Ah the wisdom of older women!! This email was such a blessing to me because I immediately went in search of sermons (I started with my old church City Of Grace) and other things to listen to and ever since then even when I can only list to a few minutes I have been blessed by my spiritual dryness turning to spiritual growing in the way that I was craving before.

Though I still have rough days they have not been as bad as they were before I was given these tips!

What ways do you have of feeding yourself spiritually even when each day seems more busy then the last?

Wordless Wednesday - Prayer

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:30:00 +0000

Something I need to remember through out the day so I made a desktop wallpaper for my new computer.

Broken Vessels

republicanfish4christ@gmail.com (CollegeSAHM) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:50:00 +0000

My encouraging bit today comes from one of my absolute favorite blogs Keeper Of The Home. Yesterday I received her guest post (she just had a little one so she has been having others guest post on her blog and they have been really good) from Generation Cedar. The post on Mothering, Moses and the Beauty of Broken Vessels was exactly what I need to hear!! So go and check out her post and if you get the time look through her blog Keeper Of The Home as there is lots of other encouraging posts. Also if you can go and check out Generation Cedar.