Are you taking date nights out with your spouse??

Over and over I am hearing about couples who aren’t taking the time to get away! Our marriages should be our top priority but how are we to keep on top of our marriage if we don’t know the ones that we are married to? People change constantly and so without constantly taking the time to learn about the one we share our lives with we quickly can lose sight of who they are! Mathew and I have made it so where it’s impossible for us to do this by making that we get out and talk or do something where we can spend time together relearning each other which has been such a good thing for us especially since we have three littles who make life quite stressful.

So I keep hearing excuses like “we don’t have a babysitter/money for a babysitter” or “we haven’t money for a date”

Not to mean but I actually find these to be lame excuses!

When it comes to babysitters why not see if you can trade with a friend that way you don’t need to pay for a babysitter. Or you can ask around at your church to see who is recommended as a babysitter. You can ask the teens in your church if they are looking for babysitting jobs. If you live in a college town like I do often those within the early education program’s are looking for children that they can hang out with to add to their experiences. Yes I know that we kneed to be careful about who we allow in our children’s lives but again ask around so you have an idea who is good and trusted.

When it comes to dates did anyone think about the fact that you can go on dates without spending money? The point of a date is to spend time with each other and that is easily done without money. Some of the dates that Mathew and I do are the ones where we spend little or no money. We walk around malls, downtown, lakes, parks, and go for hikes. We also like to go to book stores and just hang out looking at books or just sitting and talking. We also get some of our best talking in while driving in the car (which can be done without a babysitter if your kids sleep in the car) o we like to drive random places around town just exploring and spending time together.

If you get to have a date night and you don’t know what to do or where to start getting to relearn each other then start from the beginning. Do things that you did when you were dating! And make the focus of the date to get to relearn things about each other.

Seriously what excuses do you have to taking date nights and what are you going to do to overcome them so that your marriage can thrive in this stressful, marriage tearing world?

Due to the fact that Valentines day is on Tuesday and I didn’t get a post out sooner because the Eis household has been sick for two weeks (so ready for colds/high fevers/gunky eyes/teething to be done with!) I decided to make this a Saturday addition.

This V-day I plan on mixing up ideas from my past V-days from here and here.

So as we have three little ones and its hard to find a babysitter we have decided to make V-day a night in like I did with the first post. That may seem kind of boring but here is what I plan to do. You can tell me if you think its boring lol.

I didn’t start early enough to do the 14 day count down that I did last year but I think I will start Sunday and make it last for the whole week so it can be part of Mathew’s birthday (if you remember from the second post, Mathew’s Birthday is on the 17th).

14 Day Count Down

This will make the days leading up to and after more exciting. Then on V-day I ran across this idea on Be Different Act Normal .

What a cute way to show your love throughout the day!!!

To make the in home date more exciting I am going to transform the living room into a getaway. Starting with a few simple decorations (I am thinking about these) I will start making things a little bit pretty. The real fun through will come when I take this:

Isn't it just beautiful!!!

And make it work for my no time/no money budget. So instead of really glamorous, I will be taking one of our camping tents and draping the inside with white Christmas lights and then setting up the floor with a ton of blankets and pillows (at least all the I have lol).

The dinner menu will include:

Maple Glazed Salmon

Mathew has been wanting to make fish for awhile...

 Goody Filled Chocolate Hearts

YUM!

And maybe some Hot Chocolate On A Stick

Made some for Christmas and they were a hit!

Add some of our favorite love songs:

Like the song I walked down to in our wedding ::happy sigh::

And I think I have a pretty romantic night! Of course I have a few other things that involve sheer fabric scattered in stars (we have a thing for the stars) and just spending time together talking about something that is not work or kids but I won’t be sharing the specifics of those here…family friendly right

So those are just a few of the things running through my head as I prepare for a busy week ahead that has V-day and a birthday thrown in the middle!

How are you planning on making things special for your loved ones?

So I came across a great quote the other day:

Tell your [ marital ] story. Tell it to your kids, your friends, your brothers and sisters, but especially to each other. The more your story is implanted in your brain, the more it serves as a hedge against the myriad forces that seek to destroy your marriage. Make your story so familiar that is become part of the fabric of your being. – Jerry Jenkins

I had never thought of the importance of telling the world of our love story.

Telling your story over and over again is a great way to remember all of the reasons that you fell in love and all of the reasons that you got married. Keeping these in the front of our minds and hearts helps us out in those times when we can’t see anything good. Also I think it shows how much you are committed and love each other when the story that everyone know keep getting repeated over and over!

Tell your marriage story!!

My tip for today is for you and your spouse to find time for a little romance even in the midst of family time. Sure we all want time away from the kids but if you are like my family that is not always possible.

Yesterday my family went to Oak Creek to go hiking. Sure its not the easiest to go hiking with three littles but it was fun trying to find a way to get through with the kids. Then when we got to the creek Mathew and I got to spend time kissing by the water. How more romantic is that lol! Plus, like I have mentioned in the past, we got to spend the time driving around talking abou

So sure time away from the kids is really nice but it is possible to have romance while spending time with the family.

Have you been able to incorperate romance into your marriage during family time?

I can’t believe that we are already starting a new year!! I feel like I just barely started last year.

Here are some simple resolutions that I have going into the new year:

1. Learn how to keep better control of my house (it’s not to bad but there are two things that I need to work on keeping on top of so that the rest of the house stays cleaner. This will be good as we are in the works of buying a house!)

2. Keep working on my relationship with Samantha (the last month or so has been a ton better but as usual she keeps coming up with something new to throw at me. I do feel like I am doing better rolling with them though.)

3. Just learning to have more joy in my life!

Happy New Years everyone!!! Hope you have a great 2012!!

Since my post on having a hard time being a mother I have been continually encouraged over and over by one thought over the last month that has refused to leave my brain and heart. Yes I still have hard times but it has been much better.

The thing that started the thought that has been encouraging me is the song by Amy Grant Breath of Heaven.

This is song makes me think everytime about what it would have been like to be Mary. This line in particular gets me every time:

Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong

Why does this line keep encouraging? Well this is the reason. The women of the Bible had all the same struggles and heartache being a mother as I do. Yes they are from a different time but there are no new sins under the sun so they dealt with all the same sins that I do. They worried about their mothering abilities just the same way I worry about mine.

This even includes Mary! because even though she was the mother of Jesus she was also an ordinary girl just like me. Her baby was perfect but she was not so I can assure you that she had all the same fears and struggles that I do. I mean think about it… Before Jesus was even born she had to try and explain to everyone that she was not pregnant by Joseph or another man but by God. Do you think that went over very well? She had to travel to Bethlehem while nine months pregnant on a donkey. Then she had to have her first born away from her family in a stable! I can’t having to have to do that!! Then on top of that she had to raise the Son of God! I think I would be majorly worried/troubled/scared if I had to do that as a mother!

Though I have often felt alone in my struggles with my Samantha at times I know that someone somewhere has had the same struggles. It may have been hundreds of years ago in the Bible times but even that gives me hope. I also know that even though being a mother is hard, God chose me especially for my children. That makes me love my Sam so much because even though I may not see it God thought for some reason that I am perfect just for her and though I may fail at time in being her mother I know that He will cover those times in his grace and make them perfect just for her life and mine!!

So my prayer lately has been “Lord teach me the way to be the mother that you have chosen for Samantha! Cover my failures and make them a place of learning for Sam and I!”

Does the thought of knowing that even the women Bible struggled like us give you hope?

So after yesterday’s post on grace in our marriages I had been thinking about my post on mommy burnout and how grace can be applied in my current struggles. I had been thinking all day about writing on this when I came across Keeper of the Home’s post on Why I Need Grace.

I fail.  Everyday. I have good intentions and I strive to meet them, but I still fail.

I Need Grace

The Lord’s grace is sometimes the only reason I feel that things are going to be okay.  Sure — most days aren’t that bad.  Most days are pretty neutral, with a few negative (but not terrible) moments, and mostly good moments.  We’re okay.  But we have those bad days, too, where all I can do is pray for grace.

What a wonderful gift that it is, too!  It’s the main reason that my children are getting to know the Lord, even though I’m still struggling to find my way as a Christian mother.  It’s the main reason they love me even when I am not especially pleasant to be around

This is exactly what I have been being shown by the Lord lately! I have been failing a lot lately as I have taken on a lot of responsibilities and the stress of everything has lead me to fall short in my parenting abilities. I have been so thankful that the Lord doesn’t leave us to deal with our messes. Instead He has been extending His grace to me and coming along side of me helping me as I fail daily and teaching me ways to control my crazy life.

While reading the post on Why I need Grace I clicked through to another post that Kate wrote How Do You Deal With Challenging Behaviour? This is something that has also been on my mind lately too.

Changing Our View

It’s so easy to look at kids’ behavior and just feel frustrated and angry.Why do they do these things?  Why do they have to make a mess or be destructive?  One of my children will rip any book or item that she doesn’t like.  Another likes to push and hit people and scream “No!”  (he’s very, very “two” right now.  Although I’m told he actually is nice to the other children in church, he is apparently just mean to his sister!  It’s a sibling thing.)

But if we are going to survive having young children and the creativity that they have, we need to change our mindset.  When my children spill water in their playroom because they are pouring it from cup to cup, I do ask them to help clean up – but I see how they’ve created an awesome game.  If they get magazine bits all over the floor because they’ve been cutting out their favorite pictures, I see that they’re doing an art project.  No matter what they’ve done, I feel happy that they are never bored and that they are able to entertain themselves with anything.  They’ve used their shoes as “people” arguing and playing, and their current favorite “toy” is a set of felt squares!

I’m proud of their creativity.  Sometimes that comes with mess, and I accept that.  I would rather see the situation positively and enjoy and appreciate the games they come up with, rather than get frustrated with the mess they’ve made.

This is something that I really struggle with right now because my daughter is in the stage where she is experimenting with everything so there are messes every five minutes. As the main house cleaner this is very frustrating to me because when I am cleaning up one mess she and her brother are off making another. Thankfully we are starting to get her to clean up the messes that she makes but it will still some time before we get her fully cleaning up the messes she makes. So right now I need to recognise my attitude to the messes and figure out ways to keep them entertained so that there aren’t as many messes happening.

So even though I am failing every day when it comes to being a mom I am slowly being taught ways of overcoming the fails. And God is offering me grace for every fail and he will make up the areas that I fail in as a parent.

Do you need to lean on the grace that the Lord gives us tired moms?

Last week Mathew and I watched a movie called The Grace Card. This movie had nothing to do with marriage (well I guess it had some scenes that were on the guy’s marriage but the movie was not specifically on marriage). Basically the movie was on giving grace to someone that you do not like or likes you. One scene stood out to me in particular.

The reason it stood out to me for marriage is that often times we hear about offering grace to those that we don’t like or don’t like us but how often to we offer grace when it come to our spouse? I think that often times we are more wiling to offer grace to someone outside our marriage. We have a tendency to not offer grace on something because we feel like our spouse should have know about whatever they need grace for so they don’t deserve the grace. Does that make sense?

Mathew did say that he felt like this was not something that he did but I do think that there others that do.

Anyway I feel like we should be making a grace card for our spouses because they are some of the most important people in our lives and we can’t begin to offer the right kind of grace to others if we can’t offer it to our spouses.

Does your spouse need a grace card?