Atoms...

Drafts from the Past

2011-02-09T03:05:00.001+00:00

SSNAAAAAAAKE?!

Just a bunch-o-crap from 2010 I never finished. I promise thee blogoland, more up to date entries incoming.

The Candidate *spoilers* (Originally unfinished on 5/5/2010)
Here be spoilers. If you haven't seen the new episode of Lost (PIGVOMIT!) then wait until then before reading this... Because I need to talk to SOMEBODY about it, even if it is just typing it up in my blog... I also wanna discuss next weeks episode and some theories... NERD OFF! Okay Spoilers staaaart NOW!

The episode started with the Sideways timeline, so I'll begin there. I wont jump back and forth between the two like in the episode, I'm just going to deal with each timeline separately.

So we get no Previously on LOST, which I'm more than happy about. We need all the screen time we can get as we go into the last 4 episodes. Straight away we've got Jack and Locke in the Sideways talking about Locke been a Candidate (for some crazy new spinal surgery) and Jack trying to convince him to take the leap. Surprisingly enough this doesn't interest Locke at all, he seems to want to stay a cripple, the exact opposite of Original Locke. But we find out later on he has his reasons, thanks to Jack sticking his nose into other peoples business. There's also some scenes with Bernard and Helen that are vital to the episode but deal more with narrative themes such as Irony and of course the mirroring between the two timelines (Flocke saves Jack in OT, Jack saves Locke in FST)

The Sideways Locke had been taking flying lessons and decided to take his father as his first official passenger. Locke mentions he doesn't even remember what happened that they crashed before they even took off, and now *drum roll* Anthony Cooper is a vegetable in a wheelchair. If you ask me he deserves it for his actions in the original timeline. You know... things like been responsible for sawyers parents deaths, stole Locke's kidney, made him crippled and so on.

So Jack comes back to Locke and mentions their previous meeting in LAX and repeats Locke's words of wisdom and relates them to Locke's father. Once again we hear "whatever happened, happened" muttered by a character. Locke once again refuses to be a Candidate for this new procedure and rolls away from Jack. What does Jack say? "I wish you had believed me." Fook!!

So the Island was where all the Juicy holy fuck stuff happened. It starts off with Jack waking up in the out rigger and is informed by Sayid that Flocke saved him. We find out that Widmore has taken the rest of the Losties to the Polar Bear Cages, luckily Sawyer and Kate didn't get it on in the cages again. Although I half expected Sin and Jun to be humping like rabbits in them after their three years of seperation. Widmore explains he has a list of names and that Kates name isn't on it and he has no problem killing her, and uses this to get them to comply and go into the cages without a fight. They set up a sonar fence aroud the cages and Widmore tells sawyer its for their own good.

I want to take this time to talk about my feelings towards Widmore this season. Originally when he first popped his head out of the water in that sub I figured he was on the Island for his own selfish reasons and didn't care too much for MIB and Jacobs game. However after meeting his crew and Zoe and finding out the Package was Desmond, my opinion on Widmore changed. I feel he's on Jacobs side and has his own role to play. Basically when he's keeping them in cages and say's its for their own good... I beleive him. There are many theorists out there who think that the MIB is good and that he really is trying to help... But I've never been one of them. I've always seen him as the bad guy and I've never trusted him. I never thought I'd say this about Widmore but... I think he's been a good guy all along.

Anyways Sayid disarms the sonar fence and smokey comes along and fucks everybodys shit up, while Jack frees the captive Losties.
Would you like a moustache? (Originally unpublished on 6/5/10)

I try to refrain from a single line of thinking. I don't want to limit myself to living in the present and looking forward to the future. I try to see all around me, the hidden truths that can be learned from the past, the well covered lies of the present and what I can take from my findings and mistakes to improve not just my future but hopefully somebody elses.
We as a race have a vast history of knowledge to draw on, to learn from our mistakes and better ourselves... yet we dont. Ever. People never learn from their mistakes or the mistakes of their forefathers. I sorta picked up on this early on in life and I'm thankful for that. It's given me this vast enlightenment early on in life that I don't think many people come to realise until it's too late. I'm not well read so sometimes I find it difficult to explain how I see or understand things, but I do my best. So I might not even get my point across here but I'm certain theres one in here somewhere.

Speaking of learning from the mistakes of the past, how much can we rely on written accounts from people who lived in a far simpler time, long long ago. History is written by the victors as the saying goes. You can take this many ways, such as the losers arent around to write about what happened... etc. But if we take it literallyy, that those in charge can turn a story their way, or have entire blocks of history removed. During the crusades 100s of years of our worlds history was destroyed in librarys burned down that were deemed sacraligious to the reigning religion of the time. Its said this set us back 1000 years in cultural progress and about 500 years in technology due to the knowledge contained in many of these books. It literally threw the world into the Dark Ages.

So how reliable is looking into the past and learning from our mistakes? Well I like to think it's very reliable. Though History has been screwed with, and we're missing a large chunk of it, it would be absurd to believe most of what we know of our past is completely fabricated. If anything it would be more likely that things have been covered up. I'd like the whole world to learn from the past as well as whats presently going on around them and to use thier own reason and logic... and not be impressionable... I'd like a lot of things but that's just never going to happen. As human beings we're failures by design and we'll always continue looking forward.

The reason I brought all this up is because today we're blessed with the wonders of modern technology. Most importantly though is the Internet. It seems every second of everyones life is getting documented on the internet somewhere, we have video and picture proof of any instance deemed news worthy to the user. And it's there for everyone to see, forever. Its not going anywhere and it cant be altered because its already reached too many people for them not to notice something. We may have just entered our first century where History cannot be altered. And here I am with my earlier problem... I know what the point is that I'm trying to get across... I just can't seem to find the wording to say to ensure I got my message across.

I'm not even sure what I'm on about anymore. I will escape with some distracting song lyrics before anyone notices! BWAHA!

I have been trying to write
A haiku for you
Some things I just can't do

Maybe you're beyond ancient
Asian poetry
Or maybe it's just me

I have trying to get
This haiku just right
All night for you alright

I'm through!

Maybe this poem was lost
In the sauce we spilled
That never got refilled

I've never thought much
of formulaic verse anyway
End rhymes are not my fort-

I have been trying to get
This haiku just right
All night for you alright

I'm through!

I'm trying not to try to hard
But you're hard to write down right
So I pen these trite attempts
At haikus for you tonight

La da dee diddum
La da daddum doo
Diddle dum doo la deedle

There! That's sufficient.
I wrote a haiku for you
Well I tried at least
And that's not so bad
I'm working here
Can that be said for you?

I'm trying not to try too hard
But you're hard to write down right
So I pen these trite attempts
At haikus for you tonight

Words don't work like Webster says
They trip me up all night
I'm just trying to write for you
But you're hard to write down right

Reach for the skies (Originaly woeful on 19/10/10)

I've got a friend who says, "Hey! Anytime!"

2010-12-29T01:26:00.002+00:00

There was a blizzard outside
so I drew this I guess?

Unless that offers expired Blog? I have been less than frequent... You are under no obligation to indulge my ever whim but here goes.

First a little song to listen to whilst I pour my mind for the first time in what seem likes months, its a nice little ditty by She & Him's M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel, once again another band I have nobody to listen to with, but I'm used to that by now! Been listening to their two albums a lot lately and I've found it extremely relaxing and therapeutic. I can forget everything when I'm listening to them! This particular one I only heard the other night, I only had the second album until recently when I obtained a copy of the first one. Its a very beautiful bittersweet song that you just can't seem to find anywhere else nowadays.

Started as 3 expressions, then
I ended up drawing this
around it. wtf?

I was pulled in straight away by this song when I first heard the opening piano melody and its chord progressions, reminded me of Joe Hisaishi stuff which I fackin love and after that I was hooked. Definitely one of my favourites. Sorry if I've deceived you blog, Sure I'm here discussing music and what not but its not the real reason I've come crawling back, but more on that later. I always find myself typing frantically into this on the nights where I just cant sleep. In fact I just noticed I have about 4 or 5 unfinished blog entries that I'd started much like this one and then half way through just decided to forget about the whole thing, or realize I'm talking nonsense.

So I got a job again :) Happy days on that part! Its been a long few months with some pretty bad low points, and some suicidal tendencies that scared me for a while. But thank god I have a job! Now I can focus on the number one issue at hand which is move the hell out so I can get away from psychotic people that try to run or ruin my life and finally get to relax, unwind and be myself around the one person that ~~truly matters to me~~ as it turns out was also psychoticand tried to run/ruin my life, for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. Thats goal number one!

SNAAAAAKE!

Theres also holidays to plan and I need to get myself some wheels! Gonna get some extra time off on a lunch break to run down the credit union and set up an account to help with the saving a little. Everythign seems to be comign together at last and just when it does somethign else blows up in my face. And Its got me worried as shit, I thought getting a job would eventually fix this because getting my own place was a key part in the plan of fixing things... but it would appear like that problem needs to be dealth with before I even get close to moving out. Life eh!? Always ready to throw you a curve ball to derail you once more.

Probably was talking to
coworker about radio head
before doodling this

So far works been a blast. An easy blast :) Can't love it anymore! Every day is spent thinking of ~~Rachel, in fact I probably think about her more than any other time when I'm at work. Its weird... That and~~ my pay cheque of course :P And when I'm not thinkign of my pay cheque, ~~or rachel,~~ or the nice asian lady across the road who always brings me coffee, I find myself doodling random things on the back of receipts that have yet to make it into the bin! I'm not sure where they're going to be in this blog when I put them in, they're either going to appear within the blog, or start directly after this... Undecided.

Whicever I go with, I assure you they're probably not worth putting up but I guess its the only physical evidence of a job I have that I can put up on this blog. So whatev BBZ! Kerri in work loved em :P So screw you Blog! You judgemental bastard! Hopefully this time I'll keep up with the blog again!

We got in this Hannah Montana books...
so they would be responsible for this.

A taste of things to come

2010-10-19T15:54:00.002+01:00

Guitars! (Now on mp3 player)

2010-10-13T22:10:00.001+01:00

I'm beginning to realise that my blogs are never going to pick up in frequency while I'm writing them on the home computer. Its hard to find enough time to just write to my hearts content about whatever with them watching TV in the background. So I'm making it priority one to get my laptop fixed now.

And if/when I start working a new job the main priority will be saving up to move out somewhere cheap (and probably horrible, but I don't care any more), followed by the possible purchase of a midi keyboard. Then a decent camera. My end goal really is to be working wherever, I don't care, And have a set up so i can record/edit music and film at my own pace, and to my own desire.

I'm happy just being creative for that rewarding feeling it gives. I no longer see the point in trying to be successful in life and have lots of money, I've learned that it doesn't bring true happiness. The things that do are my creative outlets, close friends and of course the love of my life chocolate cake. So my goals may not seem high compared to other people, because I'm not aiming for top promotions or big cars and houses. I'm much happier now knowing that the things money cant buy, outweigh the things they can by a good few million tonnes of imaginary weight.

Just had a visit from a friend who's been in America the last 4-5 months. He dropped my Casio up to me, which i don't know how to play (so why do i even have one?) but I plan on figuring it out myself over the next few weeks/months. Whatever it takes. Its something I've always wanted to learn to play but my parents would never buy me one or pay for lessons, no matter how much I spent asking one year. Whenever I have a kid, if he/she asks me to buy an instrument or lessons, I will immediately encourage it. I don't want them growing up to hate me like i hate my parents for squandering their musical interests.

Incoming...

2010-10-08T20:22:00.000+01:00

Very, very, very soon! I promise thee blog. Just a little patience!

The Last Guardian

2010-09-16T11:00:00.003+01:00

I couldn't be more excited about this game. Have been since I saw a trailer for it two years ago. All I needed to hear was "Team ICO" and I knew enough already to consider it a definite purchase on day one. Of course Tokyo Game Show 2010 is currently running at full speed and so theres a megaton of game news coming out, especially on sony's side, them being a japanese company and all, it makes sense.

Team ICO made a name for themselves early on in the playstation 2's life cycle with the release of ICO. ICO put you in control of a boy born with a pair of horns named Ico. These horns are considered a bad omen by the people of his village and so he's taken to a castle surrounded by water as tradition in the village and left there to pretty much die... in a sarcophagi. Of course it wouldn't be much of a game if he didn't escape shortly after now would it?

Eventually you meet a mysterious girl being chased by shadowy creatures that come out of the floors and walls, and she speaks a totally different language. Amazingly enough this language barrier is the first of many obstacles to overcome as you traverse the puzzle-ridden castle with your new female companion constantly in tow via holding your hand. There was a connection made between player and characters I'd yet to experience in a game before. I never thought something as simple a gameplay mechanic as hand holding and dependancy could have such a huge emotional impact in a game. In fact I'd never felt anythign liek it in any other game. This is the one and only game I could truly consider art. That was until Team ICO's next game...

ICO - 2001

Shadow of the Colosus was a spiritual succesor to ICO, completely unrelated plot wise but had the same look and feel but with a much darker tone than its predecesor, this time you were utterly alone in a place known as the forbidden zone with only a horse as your companion while a maiden lays in eternal slumber, with the promise from a mysterious figure that the only way to revive her is to defeat the Colossi. Which is easier said than done.

Another first for me in a video game is admiring the scale and beauty of the colossus. Usually I can't wait to dispose of my target enemy. The games iconic evil. Like entire moving levels themselves, everytime you eventually made your way to one you had to climb up its body, almost obstacle course like in nature, and finish it with your sword in its weak spot. But of course theres a price. You have to watch these things die and I have to say my first victory felt more like a defeat. I never felt like I took a life in a video game before but let me tell you, everytime I killed one I felt extremely bad. And thats what this whole game was about.

They just seemed so peaceful and didn't seem to be hurting anyone at all. It made no sense to me why I had to kill such rare gigantic creatures for the life of one girl. Of course that became more apparent in the end and I felt betrayel and 'pissed-off-edness'. Without spoiling too much lets just say you were tricked big time. Well that is a big spoiler I guess. Ah well screw it, your own fault for not playing this great game yet!

As you can see my obsession and appreciation for these games is a bit on the fanatic side but thats what has me so excited for their new game. The Last Guardian looks to be another beautiful unique game that will make puppetry of my emotions and finding out its still another year away is a killer. I want it now! But the good news is ICO and SotC are being released early next year under the Team Ico Collection for ps3. And they're looking better than they ever did!

ICO - 2011

2011 is looking like its going to be good to my nerdy side and so I'll leave it at that and a new trailer for The Last Guardian.

Uh oh

2010-09-07T23:45:00.003+01:00

Okay so it would seem I let the blog slip behind a little. But not to worry I'll have loads to blog about soon :) The Ham Beast is back so many adventures will be had trying to slay the demon whore. Anyway I've been messing around on guitar again for the first time in about 4-5 years and recording stuff on my mp3 player in case i forget it a few weeks down the line. Nothing near complete or finished.

First thing you'll hear is a riff that could be a verse... or a bridge... or a chorus. Could be anything this early on. Secondly is a verse bridge and chorus to a song, just the general rythm, no fancy lead or ornamentation in any of these just yet.. That will have to wait until I can record them properly and do multi-track.Think the tuning was DADF#be on that one
And lastly a verse and chorus to a song that is very much in the experimental stages.Strumming pattern, rhythm, chords, everything about this one is open to change and the song will definitely transform into something beautiful once i can layer down some more guitar riffs over the rhythm. Until then its just a bare bones rhythm piece of poo.

UPDATE: Just realised I cut out a part of the second song, the chorus to be precise... Whoops. Guess that will just have to wait until i have a more finished version

Buy polar bears today

2010-08-18T16:13:00.002+01:00

Today was just one of those days. Woke up on the wrong side of my mind.
Spent my 15 minute break crying in the bathroom and the rest of the day wanting to throw stock and tell everyone to fook off. Didn't help either that my mind was dwelling on miserable shit. These are the days when I can't face the world and just want to sleep , so I can skip to the next day and just return to normal.

Several years ago every second or third day was like this. So they're rare enough lately, bit when it does happen it hits me like a tonne of bricks. When I get. Like this I just want to be shut away from the world and consider just disapearing from everything and everyone I know and love. Just dissapear and start again somewhere else where nobody knows me and I don't have to force myself to be social or to have friends.

And when I think like that, I scare myself in the fear that someday I'll end up stuck like that and actually go through with it. I don't like being left alone with my thoughts. They are very quick to betray me. I'm just gonna put my head down and hide for the rest of the day. Sometimes I think I'd be better offa a woman. That way I'd have an excuse for being such an emotional little bitch.

iBlog

2010-08-15T11:30:00.002+01:00

Making this blog on an iTouch so it's taking ages to type with this touch screen.

I also figured out how to take screenshots too. But now I just found out I can't put photos in my blog when using this so screw this I'll make a proper blog soon.

UPDATE: TADA!

Double Vocal Feature Extrrrrrravaganzaaaaa!

2010-08-05T13:53:00.003+01:00

So back to the music... This first track is a cover
I recorded of aRadiohead song in 2006. It was actually
just a warm up before doing an original recording,
what that was I do not know. Anyway the song is
Gagging Order and it has some funky tuning that
sounds fantastical, and is a lot of fun to play!
Shame my voice sounds so weak. I don't think its
wise to attempt to sing a song with Thom Yorke
vocals, not with my range.

And that's just a warm up for the rest of this blog post. Next up is a band I was in when I was 16 that didn't even make it past day 3 or 4. In 3 days we'd (me and Ste) said farewell to 51st state (a punk band) and reunited with ex-51st state vocalist (whom I replaced) Darren Loughran, written 4 songs and recorded them. One of those songs has somehow survived the last 6 or so years, and its called waking up.

I suppose you could say an assortment of grunge bands were responsible for this song. I played bass on the recording, and did the main vocals. That high pitched out of key ooooooh at the start is Ste, the rest of the vocal badness has me to blame. There's also an egg shaker in there somewhere, and we recorded the vocals for the chorus in a bathroom. Ste did vocals on another song called the glow, I think. And one day we decided to swap around, he did vocals on Waking up and I did the glow, but those versions are long lost, like the original Downtown tapes. Shame really :(

Embarrassing bad lyrics incoming!

6 O clock,
I'm sitting here, around the place where we first met,
Nothings changed.

Walked around,
Walking by the river past the old blue barn,
Where you once lay.

Tuesdays gone,
And wishful thinking's passed on through the blowing wind,
I'm lost again.

Moving on,
Walking past, my hands in my pockets I count my steps,
As time flys by.

I fill up on the light in your eyes,
See them fade in dark.
I throw up from this feeling inside,
Taste it on my lips.

You need this more than ever now,
Shine some hope on the black,
I need you now beside me,
Shining, shining... in your eyes.

10 o clock,
I;m lying here beside you like when we first met,
Somethings changed.

Waken up,
I feel the coldness of your skin, and your still blue eyes,
You're over me.

I think that last verse has something to do with a dead chick... riiiight. Moving on :D More bloggy wogs soon!

Pikachures!

2010-07-29T18:21:00.005+01:00

Took some pictures the other day. I left it 5 days from when I saw baby ducks until taking this picture. They weren't tiny any more :( Missed my chance again. That or there was baby ducks hiding on me that day. Anyway I was gonna split these up to milk the blog but sure here they are!

Oh yah, click on em to see bigger-ish versions.

Those weird ducks that dive under water. Just got a baba as it emerged :D

SPIDERO SPIDERO SPIDERO!

I likes framing and focus

Swan feather. Also water peas in a grass pod.

Bye bye Baba

Loadsa babas!

For Ray, and all the new life she's missing in one of her favourite parks while she's off in DUSSELDAAAAAAAWRFFFFVVV!

Monocle Paste

2010-07-24T10:10:00.004+01:00

OH NOES!!

So it would seem during my time in that awful emo band I was still recording my own music. See I pretty much had no creative input in that band, sure I tried at first, I was even told it would just be me ste and itch jammin whatever on guitars. I show up on day one, get assigned as the singer (god knows why?!) and we're aiming to be a popular scene band so we can "make it".
The very reason I'd avoided bands for two years. Nobody was interested in just playing music for themselves or for fun, as usual it was to impress others. So at home I guess I had no choice but to record the stuff I had banging around in my head.

I'd forgotten all about this song until now. I actually like it, usually when I hear old demos I cringe. And oddly enough I can hear bits of bands I listen to all over the song. I want to start writing and recording again. I just feel creatively confined at home these days for some reason. As soon as I get out I hope to start writing again. I also want to get my casio back and try write some stuff o keyboard. Have to learn how to play piano first though :P Can't be THAT hard... haha.

Just noticed a old blog on my old myspace. Found this entry, thought it was funny.

!!! Wooo!! in otehr news, tonight dunkrflu in fibbers, i got dumped and dtuff... so horay for been lone anf miserable... yet again... goodnight ladies and gentlemandne!!!

i;m also wadted... hooray for alvofohl... niw u nydt go and leave you peoples so i can dies in peace.!!!

Musical Past

2010-07-18T09:49:00.001+01:00

~~Rachels gone away :( For 6 weeks. I dunno what I'm gonna do to pass the time but at least I have work to help. Oh yeah thats right,~~ I got a job workign in citywest shopping centre. Tis a pretty handy job and i'm only working part time so the days fly in. My laptop died again which has resulted in irregular updates to this blog, but not to worry, with Rachel gone to germany for the next month and a half, I'm more motivated to blog about things. So she, being my only subscriber/viewer I can keep her informed about my life, in case she grows suspicious of the large amounts of hookers I have lined up for while she's away.

Being on this old PC I've come across some stuff from the past, from my secondary school days to be precise, when I seemed to have all the free time in the world to make music, cartoons, comics, websites, photography, scripts, storys you name it. I dunno where all that creativeness I has is gone but I'm going to try and get it back. Of course looking back on all this I can only see the bad faults in everything. I used to think this stuff was perfect. I just listened to 2 recorded demos/covers and my voice was so off in one I nearly tried to cut off my ears. Anyway over the next few days/weeks I'll be looking back on all of this stuff and discussing it. First up is Music.

As far back as I can remember I've been playing music. And I've been in a lot of different bands, as well as recorded my own solo type stuff. I think the first proper song I ever recorded was "25". I chose the title because at the time I thought by 25 I'd have everythign figured out and I wouldn't be going through such a bad time in my life. Well I'm 23 now and things are actually looking up and going places hopefully. The song was based around memories from past relationships, jsut typical teenage stuff I was going through at the time that now a days seems meaningless and juvenile.

I'll discuss other tracks later, Don't want to drag on for too long in one blog. You can find most of em here

Radiohead

2010-06-30T11:20:00.002+01:00

"Pablo Honey gave them their start, The Bends proved they weren't a one hit wonder band,

OK Computer redefined their style, Kid A redefined alternative, Amnesiac kept the momentum, and In Rainbows made it more accessible. What did Hail To The Thief do? It gave us There There."

Introducing...

2010-06-27T11:24:00.000+01:00

The Weed Wagon!

Been playing MNR (ModNation Racers) the last few days and I'm gonna blog over the next few days showcasing my own creations as well as some that friends made and some of my favourite creations I downloaded.

Surprisingly Accurate

2010-06-16T00:01:00.002+01:00

- promise -

2010-06-03T12:53:00.006+01:00

I always feel really bad when I can't live up to a promise. I also feel bad when I waste half the day's plans when I have a shit sleep. So today I feel double bad. Normally I wouldn't post this kind of pointless information but I... well I don't know why I'm posting it. Probably because I haven't in a while and that's something else I feel bad about, not updating as often as I'd like. So at least I'm tackling one thing that's got me down. Just wish I could rectify the first two mentioned.

Downloaded a text and menu based simulation game I used to play when I was about 13-14. Its called Total Extreme Wrestling 2010 (It used to have a different name, "Extreme Warfare") and it's now a game you have to pay for, used to be totally free. Anyway in the game you are the owner and Booker of a wrestling promotion and you have to handle the business side as well as the entertainment side, set up feuds and matches and storyline's etc as well as a million other things.

You can also customize the database, so you can add new wrestlers, promotions, TV shows and networks, training dojos, storylines, PPV events etc. Whatever's in the game you can add to, so I added a few friends as Wrestlers to my new Wrestling Promotion, Big Gay Wrestling, or BGW as its better known. If any crazy matches involving my friends come up I may post them here.

In other news a very ~~special~~ hated person in my life is turning 20 this weekend, well Monday if you want to be precise. But the celebrations start on Saturday and I can't wait :) I know its going to be a fun night ~~regardless of the turnout since~~ BECAUSE a lot of Special Person's college friends are going to be away and that's hilarious that nobody loves her.

I've really fallen behind on my gaming big time. I need to pick up and play Modnation Racers, Alan Wake, Splinter Cell (looks and sounds shit but, I've played all the other ones!) and a few others here and there. I'll probably get a loan of the latter two XBOX 360 exclusives, but I'm definitely buying ModNation Racers. The BETA was a lot of fun and I made countless creations with a very limited toolkit, can't wait to see what you can do with the full game. I have pictures of my Racer and Kart saved on my PS3 HDD, so as soon as I get my PlayStation back from Haymer, I'll throw them up. Hopefully I'll have the game itself by then :D Until then Iron Man will have to do.

Currently Playing
Red Dead Redemption
Perfect Dark (nintendo 64)

I also unlocked this Sombrero in RDR and the tee in Perfect Dark for my Avatar. Woo!

Found some interesting ModNation Racer creations at IGN (Click it to see em!). Here's Alan from The Hangover!

"It's a satchel, Indian Jones has one."

LOST - The End

2010-05-24T21:58:00.005+01:00

Watching live right now as I type... Richard miles and Lapidus in a boat, Richard mentioned a storm was coming. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT! about the outrigger... but the scene that just happened with Richard... i think i was wrong about miles, its looking like Richard's going to be the one to be shot. AH! Richards grey hair and then realising now that hes aging he has something to live for, very nice touch but to me it spells imminent death, or injury leading to slow death. only time will tell :D

an ad for Yaz (the pill) in America "the pill does not protect you from AIDS or STI's" no SHIT! Are there really people that dumb in America?!

Another ad, about some place that does Crepes... the guy keeps calling them Cray-pes... I understand why Rachel did not wanna watch LOST with American ads... every 5 seconds and absolutely painful to watch.

"I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in Duct tape"

I knew it! I knew Hurley would be the real replacement for Jacob :D WOOO! I said it start of the season... wow. but i was wrong again about the outrigger shoot out time jump.

A List of Scenes that made me cry, and ... I think its because its the end of the journey that is LOST that's got me emotional. Adding more as the episode continues.

Sun and Jin Remembering

Very powerful stuff

Claire, Charlie and Kate remembering

seriously STOP making me cry you FUCKS! haha. I'm a man! I'm not supposed to :P Rachel's gonna make fun of me :(

Juliet and Sawyer remembering!

"You got it Blondie". I hate you flash sideways :(

"I'll see you in another life brother"

Oh come on, how did that get me?

The End...
Damn you lost! DAMN YOU!

So its over now. BUT all the main cast are on Jimmy Kimmel next :D Just showed the audience in attendance watching the last scene, with crowd reactions. there was a lot of guys crying, and in colorful Hawaiian shirts, so i don't feel like such a fool. Cant wait for the alternate endings :D Aaaw poor Matthew Fox's voice is shaking. He just came from backstage after seeing the ending for the first time.

Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson... always a delight to see those two together. Talking about the ideas for shows they've been pitching around. Kimmel suggested a show where they're Vegas show magicians by night, forensic detectives by later at night. Emerson asked could one of them have an accent. This is cheering me up, I think I was suffering from Post Lost Traumatic Stress Disorder for a bit.

Josh Holloway is on now, he couldn't be there tonight. Apparently he's on set for his new film, Snakes on a Plane 2: Electric Bugaloo. About a break dancing crew on their way to a competition that get attacked by snakes. He plays the Sam Jackson character... I'm in stitches! Naveen Andrews and Emilie de Ravin is sitting with them now. Apparently Marilyn Manson is a big LOST fan, and painted a picture of Locke. So creepy!

Jeremy Davies, Nestor Carbonell, Alan Dales and Harold Perrineau now. Jeremie is acting upset because he was told there would be strip poker, and a snowball fight at this event. haha. Kimmel thanked Harold/Michael for killing Ana Lucia.
Alternate endings just turned out to be spoofing other TV show endings.
Survivor, Sopranos and the third one I don't know what it was. Still funny though. SNOOP DOGG!

My TV Studies Essay -Semiotics in LOST-'

2010-05-18T07:06:00.001+01:00

Contents.

Introduction to Semiotics
LOST Synopsis
Literary Techniques and Recurring Themes
Semiotics in Lost
Season one

Golf Course
Music Box
Halliburton Case

Season Two

Charlie’s Piano

Season Three

Sun’s Glass Ballerina
Matryoshka Doll
Juliet's Knots
Use of Dolls and Ben’s doll

Season Four & Five

Cannonball
Loophole
Leadership/manipulation

Season Six

Water
Mirrors and Reflections

Conclusion
Bibliography

Semiotic’s in “LOST”

Introduction to Semiotics

Semiotics is the study of signs and symbols and can be divided in to three branches, Semantics, Syntactics and pragmatics. It can refer to, but isn’t limited to, images, music, speech, road signs, natural formations and just about anything you can deconstruct and apply meaning to. One of the earliest mentions of Semiotics in the English language was in 1670 by Henry Stubbes, however it was spelt Semeiotics, derived from the Greek word “Semeiotikos” meaning an interpreter of signs. John Locke, one of the most enlightened thinkers and philosophers of the 1600-1700’s explained how science could be broken down into three parts using semiotics.

“All that can fall within the compass of human understanding, being either, first, the nature of things, as they are in themselves, their relations, and their manner of operation: or, secondly, that which man himself ought to do, as a rational and voluntary agent, for the attainment of any end, especially happiness: or, thirdly, the ways and means whereby the knowledge of both the one and the other of these is attained and communicated; I think science may be divided properly into these three sorts.”

When relating semiotics to TV & Film it helps to give a wider understanding of what the storyteller is trying to convey. A swell of emotional music can instinctively tell the viewer that this might be a sad scene, or in the case of the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”, the lack of music to imply there is nothing left in this post apocalyptic world. During this essay I will discuss semiotics in lost as well as their meanings.

“LOST” synopsis

LOST is an American TV Sci-fi and drama show that has spanned six seasons, with the series finale set to air May 23^rd 2010. In it’s simplest form it is a show about plane crash survivors stranded on a remote and mysterious island and boasts the most expensive TV pilot ever made. An episode usually has two story lines that tend to contrast or resemble each other.

Literary Techniques and recurring themes in LOST.

Lost complies a lot of literary techniques in order to convey its message and symbolism such as comparative (Irony, Juxtaposition), plotting(cliffhanger, plot twist), stock character (red shirt, unseen character) and story techniques (Flashbacks/forwards/sideways, repeated phrases, symbolism and unreliable narrators). Lost also has many recurring themes that pop up on a regular basis, the more prevalent been Parent issues, Philosophy, Rebirth, Black and White, Character connections and coincidences, Dreams and Visions, Eyes, Fate versus Free Will, Science versus Faith, Games, Life and Death, Pregnancies Deus ex Machina and much much more. However I will be concentrating more towards the signs and symbolism that are present in nearly every scene of Lost.

Semiotics in LOST

To go through and discuss every piece of Semiology in LOST would take hours and there is a bounties worth of the stuff to choose from. Black and White is one of the main symbols in LOST and has been present in nearly every episode of the series, and has become even more important to the series with the introduction of the man in black(Black) and Jacob(White) who have been playing a game on the island for over 2 millennia. This was perfectly summed up in the very first series by man of faith, John Locke. Named after the Philosopher John Locke, this character has become one of the key characters to the shows story and in the series pilot he finds a backgammon set among the wreckage. A young boy named Walt asks him to explain the game to him and John Locke has this to say

“It’s a very old game. There are two players. One side is light, and one side is dark."

In every season the opening title is white text on a black background right up until the end of season 5, which resulted in the death of Jacob by the manipulative Man In Black, with the season ending with black font on a white background. This could relate to the light been overcome back the dark, or the inverted colours may have been a hint at the alternative timeline that debuted in place of flashbacks/flash-forward’s in season 6.

Rain is one of the biggest repeated symbols in Lost, and has shown up in many episodes usually accompanying significant scenes, plot twists or for dramatic effect. It is extremely significant to the character of John Locke, who has often predicted the rain (A trait shared only by others in tune with the island like Locke).

Examples include;

· When Locke embraces the rain and the Monster appears immediately after.

· When Locke and Boone find the Hatch.

· When Shannon tries to kill Locke.

· Locke tells Boone "It's going to start raining in one minute. You should turn back.".

· When the survivors split between Locke's group and Jack's group and when the freighters land on the Island.

· Locke tells Hurley "Storm is about to pass, Hugo", before it's truly passed.

· When Richard Alpert comes to test young Locke.

· When Locke is all alone in the jungle after the first time shift.

The latter was also the first time John Locke was caught by surprise from the rain, signifying the jump through time and the impossibility to predict where they were going to end up, even with Locke’s connection to the island.

Throughout each season there have been significant scenes heavily based around symbolism and I will go on to list what I think are some of the most important ones in my opinion.

Season one

Golf Course

Michael, a character with a troubled past and a son (Walt) he’d never seen until his mother died shortly before the survivors crashed. Michael has to deal with learning to be a father as well as getting over the loss of his son’s mother. The Golf Course is arguably representative of Michael's poor parenting skills. When he learns about the tournament he leaves Walt on his own at the beach, when he realises his error he asks Walt to play, but Walt feels bad about skipping people who have been waiting for a turn longer than him and Michael fails to see this. When Michael's turn is up, rather than give it to Walt he accepts it himself leaving his son to walk back to the beach on his own.

The Music Box

In the same episode as the Golf Course, Sayid, a former Iraqi interrogator, is kidnapped by Rousseau. Rousseau has been stranded on the island without human contact for 16 years and the Music Box, initially broken, is representative of her isolation. When Sayid fixes the box and the music starts to play it symbolises Rousseau’s connection with somebody for the first time in less than two decades. When Sayid leaves, the music stops playing, i.e. breaking human contact.

The Halliburton Case

Kate Austen, a character who was on the plane handcuffed by a US marshal, is obsessed with getting the case and it seems to reflect her closed personality. At first Kate was reluctant to share any truths about herself, her reason for being on the plane or the acts she committed back in the real world, and during this period is unable to obtain the case. It’s not until she reveals to Jack why she was in handcuffs, that she finally gets it open. Alternatively, another interesting idea here is that without a key it seems nearly impossible to get into the Halliburton case. Sawyer does everything he can, dropping it, hitting it, banging it repeatedly against rocks but he can't get inside. This can be seen as a metaphor for Kate's spiritual and mental state, she's has such a hard shell she won't let anyone in. Finally, after promising Jack they will open it together, and failing at her "the key isn't there" trick she confesses to Jack and their relationship is pained, and different. Her defence failed, she went to help, went out of her shell, and with opening the case she opened herself up, if only a little bit.

Season Two

Charlie’s Piano

The piano from "Fire & Water" can be seen as a device to reflect Charlie's family. It was bought so that Charlie could become rich and thereby improve his family's standard of living. This is why the piano houses Aaron in a dream, as Charlie believes Aaron needs saving, and so this belief manifests itself inside an object that, to Charlie, symbolize the concept of saving. On a related note in a similar dream, Charlie’s brother Liam places a Cigarette on the piano, showing how Charlie feels towards his brothers’ disregard for family. We are later shown in other episodes that Liam ended up been a very good family man, whilst Charlie stayed on drugs, contrasting their earlier relationship where Liam was obsessed with drug abuse and Charlie just wanted to play music with his brother.

Season Three

Sun’s Glass Ballerina

Sun Paik Kwon is a Korean Born woman married to Jin Kwon who prior to crashing on the island was secretly learning English in preparation of leaving her husband who had become increasingly controlling and violent due to the nature of the work Sun’s father was putting him through in order to gain his blessing. Sun had a broken childhood as a result of her controlling father and the fragile glass ballerina smashing could represent the fragility of a child’s innocence and how easily broken it can be. It’s also representative of the current events on the island of her finally overcoming her broken childhood and breaking free of the restraints of her father and Jin returning to his normal loving self.

Matryoshka Doll

More commonly known as Russian Dolls, some claim they were influenced by similar Japanese souvenirs at the time. They are often used metaphorically as hidden layers of meaning, each level bringing you closer to a revelation. In LOST a TV Exec keeps diamonds hidden in one of these dolls that was eventually stolen by Expose star Nikki and her lover Paulo. The two ended up on Oceanic Flight 815 with the other survivors but weren’t introduced to the show until the 3^rd season. The doll that housed the diamonds seemed to signify the multiple depths of the episode, where there were both on and off-Island flashbacks which together explained how Nikki and Paulo met their end in a detective-genre inspired episode.

Juliet’s Knots

Along with the figure-8 knot, Juliet ties a double knot at the very end of "One of Us". The double knot is possibly symbolic of her (temporary) double-crossing of the survivors, since the knot will not necessarily hold.

Dolls

Dolls are a recurring symbol in lost. Jack sees a doll underwater, Charlie has a dream where his father(a butcher) is chopping up a doll, a close up of dolls faces appear in a brainwashing video, the previously mentions Matryoshka doll, and most recently in season 6 Claire has a doll representing her lost son Aaron made out of a squirrels carcass. However one of the most significant use of dolls as a symbol is Ben’s dolls. Annie, Ben's childhood friend on the island, gives Ben two carved wooden dolls meant to represent the two of them and their friendship. Ben keeps the female doll as it is representative of the Nuclear family of the time that he never had or the lack of a maternal figure because of his mother dying during childbirth and his abusive alcoholic father who blames her death on Ben.

Season 4&5

Season four took place during the now infamous writers strike and so there was not much symbolic scenes to choose from, however season 4 was a catalyst to all the events leading up through season 5 and 6 setting the stage for the finale. This was represented in “The Beginning of the End” when Hurley cannonballs into the water and everything has changed when he emerges. Some could also argue that it is symbolic of baptism.

We also see the beginning of the man in blacks loophole to kill Jacob begin to take flight when Locke becomes the Leader of the Islands inhabitants, “The Others”. When he meets ‘his people’ it is filmed at an upwards angle to symbolise his position as a leader, their chosen one. However it turns out in later seasons it was all a ruse and manipulation from the Man In Black in order to get his “pieces” into place, his major pawn been John Locke himself.

Season 6

Water

Water is another recurring theme in lost that symbolises rebirth in Lost, it is also a significant symbol for rebirth in many religions throughout the world. In the Season Six premiere we are shown that the island is underwater in the Flash Sideways timeline, its importance to the story’s narrative has yet to be explained mid way through season 6 however it’s safe to assume that it could perhaps mean that this is a purer world, washed clean of the evils present on the island, and a world where the Survivors lives are much happier than they were in the original timeline.

Mirrors and Reflections

Mirrors have become a major symbol in the new series, showing up in nearly every episode where the flash sideways is taking place, sometimes juxtaposed by water in the original timeline. It is clear they are representative of the two time lines and how they’re coming together. Below is a picture showing some of the instances in season 6 where an Alt-Lostie seems to be subconsciously aware of living another life while staring at their reflection.

Conclusion

All TV programmes have semiotics in some form however Lost has a higher abundance than most TV serial dramas. It’s ideally a sci-fi show branded as a drama that mixes several genres successfully. There is so much thought gone into the writing process all the way up to the filming process due to the excellent relationship between writers Cuse and Lindelof with Series regular Dir. Jack Bender. Every detail in every scene is analysed vigorously by the shows fans and there's enough symbolism in the show to keep fans discussing its many twist and turns for years to come. I’ve only scratched the surface of the shows gargantuan, twisting most times confusing plot and Michael Emerson, the actor who portrays Ben has stated that even after the final episode airs, people will be still left with their heads scratching and scouring the entire series for hidden answers in signs and symbols.

Clippity Clop, Clippity Clop...

2010-05-13T19:25:00.000+01:00

Over the dunes and ~~into the sea~~ ACROSS THE SEA

So the latest episode of Lost was a bit of a mind bender, and I can see it turning off fans of the show in a big way! Half way through watching it, I wasn't too sure of it myself either. I've watched it 3 times now and I find myself loving it more and more. Nothing is really explained at all, we're just sort of given stuff flat out.

Stuff such as Jacob and MIB can't hurt each other because their "mother" made it that way. We're never told specifically how she made it that way and I don't think we'll be ever given an answer. There's other similar incidents like this in the episode and here's my thoughts on why they'll never have explanations by the end of the show.

One of the main themes of lost is Science VS Faith, two things that don't tend to go hand in hand, and Lost fans tend to be the same. They theorize that either everything on the show can be explained scientifically, whilst others differ and see all these connections to Lost and their own religion.

I believe that explanations on some of the more mystifying properties of the island will go unexplained, so both sides of the fence will be satisfied, in the end it will be up to you personally whether you decide there's some science behind the cave of light they're protecting on the island (electro-magnetic energy anyone?) or that its pure magic juice. I'm more of a science man myself however I like to believe that in the world of Lost, the properties of the island are both scientific and mystic.

Now onto my next point... The smoke monster. We see its birth when MIB goes into the tunnel of glow, an action that Mother said would lead to a faith worse than death. Now how would she know this? And how exactly did she destroy a village of people and fill in an entire well? The first thing that came to me was she was a Smoke Monster too, and its quite possible one day as protector of the island she herself decided, "Ah, Fuck it!" and went into the cave to see what would happen. Also the Heiroglyphics of smokey been worshipped last season pre-dates the birth of MIB as Smokey by a good few centures. But of course there is a flaw in this theory...

When MIB becomes the smoke monster, his body is left behind. Which finally makes sense of MIB's line in Ab Aeterno regarding Jacob, "He stole my body", which is pretty much the truth. So if becoming smokey makes you leave your body behind, how on earth did Mother have a body when MIB killed her, is she was a Smokey too. Well I've got a counter argument that is sort of going out on a limb here but its already happening right now in the islands present, so whats to say it didn't happen in the past?

Is it possible that the Mother we see in Across the Sea, isn't her original form. Maybe she too stole the body of somebody dead on the island and was stuck in her form just like MIB/Locke is now. It would help explain some things but it doesn't really have any weight behind it.

Only 1 more episode until the finale :D

Nunja!

2010-05-11T00:25:00.006+01:00

Take that Nuns, No Apartments for you! Or Inflatable chapels! Proper blogs will resume after college leaves me alone.

.y0u. .gave. .n0. .ideas.

2010-05-10T00:03:00.001+01:00

And you mined all the gold, you blonde bearded BITCH!

MILES!

2010-05-07T18:16:00.006+01:00

Doomed

Holy crap I think I just figured something out in Lost... All season long I've been waiting for a shootout in the water when some island folk are taking a trip between the main island and Hydra island. But it hasn't happened yet.
If you're wondering what I'm talking about, there was an incident last season that occured when the island had become unstuck from time. The time jumping Losties find themselves been pursued by a group in another outrigger, who eventually open fire. Juliet ends up shooting one of them and then they flash through time again.

Everyone in this boat bar Sawyer and Miles is dead now... Crazy!

Ever since that episode I've been waiting to discover the identity of the other group, and I initially thought it was just some of the Ajira flight passengers that had left Hydra island but season five came to a finish and we where never shown. And 14 episodes into season 6 we've had numerous outrigger journeys but nobody fired on any mysterious vanishing boats. The only people left on the main island yet to come over to Hydra but plan to, are Richard, Miles and Ben. Miles falls in to the same category as Charlotte, Daniel, Black chick and Lapidus. The writers can kill them off quickly and nobody will complain too much.

So consider this, the outrigger was found at the Losties camp site by time travelling Sawyer and co, and the place looked fairly trashed, as it does in season 6. It was recently reoccupied by The Candidates, people who are dead now, Richard, Miles and Ben. The latter three? They're off over at Dharmaville gathering explosives to blow up the Ajira plane which, ironically, was already set to blow.

So it does seem possible they got two out riggers, set them up at Camp Lostie ready to go, and then planned on using them to transport the explosive loot they bring back over to Hydra. Only when they got back, one of their outriggers is gone, so they chase after them because maybe they need both? And who is the likliest candidate to get shot? It would have to be Miles.

Oh and in retrospect it seems more likely that they didn't need that second outrigger, rather they saw Locke and the time bandits and mistook them for Flocke/MIB and the Others and quickly gave chase.

My Sister

2010-05-06T14:05:00.002+01:00

- On Gerry Ryan's funeral -

"They're showing it on web cam? They didn't even do that for princess Anna (Princess Diana), he must have been way more famous".

Two dumb remarks in one sentence... I am impressed! I do find myself wondering from time to time how exactly we're related... If in any way. I'm beginning to think she may be under the impression that Die-Anna was a media nick name used after her death and that her name is just Anna. It is a possibility

way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!way-ay!*

2010-05-04T19:37:00.000+01:00

Last night I dreamt we spent the night together.
It was one of those dreams that seems very real for a short time after you wake. Ive found myself forgetting its a dream every now and then throughout the day. I wish it was as real as the memory seems. Power went away so I walked about a lot. I also saw a Badger last night. Just one Badger, no more, no less. No mushrooms either.