hiddenmickey

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:20:15 PST

Presence.

The sheer lack of solid ground, the twisted turns and constantly having people flitting in and out of ones life- it is interesting, but also very tiring. Recently, I often find myself standing up against so many older, more eloquent and educated people - in an area in which im not even familiar with to begin with- it just feels like I am asking too much of myself. Telling people how old I actually am, sometimes makes things worst- I see eyebrows raised and people trying to take advantage of my so called lack of experience.. in well, everything.

Non the less, thank you for being there for me for the past month or two. The time when I came down with a cold, you came to my place when I wasnt around and left me a note with instructions as to how to find and use the vitamin C pills and tissues which was stashed in your coat pockets. Each time I had a bad day at work, all I had to do was to give you a call, and you will be there. Instead of ciggie breaks, we'd go for ice cream or slurpee breaks. Sometimes I dont talk, and just stare off into blank space while trying not to think about, anything. Instead I let you talk. Sometimes, I just rant on and on, and for some reason you find my rants amusing - even when I wasnt even trying to be funny.

Thank you for never trying to give unwanted advice, for never asking me awkward questions I have no answers to, for holding me back when I nearly lashed out at the 7/11 worker when I was pissy and frustrated after freshly getting out of an argument with a bull headed ego person. I confess, yes- I hardly lose my temper, but when I do, it can get really reallyyy ugly.

I guess you were just there when I really needed someone to be there. And I really appreciate that so much. At least you didnt send me a sms after a week asking me about how I am..and then talking about the weather, when there was so many more things to talk about under the sun (no pun intended)

Ps: Kekawanku, I know the pic above is highly irrelevant to the post and is blurry. But then again, nothing I have seems relevant. Hence the vain pic. Btw that is my sis.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:28:56 PST

.

If making mistakes freaks us out to the point where we are too afraid to take even the smallest chance anymore..... :(

Its okay.
Life still goes on after a blunder.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 12:33:07 PST

Its always something...

that's holding one back. We complain we dont have enough time, enough money or enough determination. If the above three reasons dont quite fit, we can always blame it on your parental units. Once you find the cause of why you never get things done, you must then proceed to dramatically roll your eyes and point your middle finger in the general direction of morgan freeman.

I have met so many people in their late 20's and early thirties, lamenting about how "old" they are. And telling me (the young one wtf) that the future is brighter for the youth, and that I should seize the day and do happfying, worthwhile things with my life.

And I ask. surely 20 something aint too old to go after what you want? As long as the will is there, surely there is a way?

And with dejected faces, they insist they are old and scoff at my so called nativity.

Do you hold hands with your husband when you go grocery shopping?
No, we're too old for that.
Do you wear high heels that make you feel like you can take on the world?
No, too old for that too.
Do you still hang out with friends til late at night?
No, too old for that.
Do you still watch cartoons?
No, too old for that too.

Next thing you know, they tell you they dont have sex anymore because they are too old and boring for it as well T_T But really, I dont wanna know. Too much info.

It scary and sad to see how early one has just, well- give up. Its as though after they get a job, they bottled all their aspirations, dreams and hope into a jar, and stashed it somewhere at the top of their cupboard. And once in awhile, they would pick up the jar,gently brush of the dust off it, and stare at it as though it was a piece of their past. After that, they would gently place the jar back into the top of the cupboard and head back off to finish off their knitting on their favorite rocking chair.

I dont want to grow up to be one of them. Young. Jaded. Repressed. Bitter. And oh so determined to make themselves miserable.

Each time they go about their lost chances, I feel the urge to tell them to smash the damn jar. Its not too late. Its never too late. Obligations and responsibilities will always be there. You will never be free of what you are expected to give back as a child, a lover and a member of this so called goddamned civilized society (peer pressure)

You can procrastinate or fail as many times as you want, but please dont give up just like that. Even grandmas can learn to rap.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:08:15 PST

Unphotographable

This is a picture of a little girl who had on a simple t shirt, short pants and a pair of traditional red clogs. She looked like she belonged in a classroom of primary one kids. It was dinner time at a hawker center which was located near a lrt station. The place was packed and yet the girl was sitting on a wooden stool, in a dark corner, washing the dishes alone.

I swore I lost all my appetite then. People should never learn to breed unless they are perfectly capable of providing a happy childhood.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:39:23 PST

6+ 31 days to the new year.

There a certain sense of surrealism when you look back into the past, or perhaps its just me. But in the recent one year, my reality has lost more stability than it ever had before. As much as I like to think that a person's path is chosen by themselves, but there are some things, some places and yes, some people that we seem naturally inclined to cross paths with, and there really isnt anything we can do about it.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:00:24 PST

(not taken by me)

18/11/2009

I didnt want the lights to turn green. All I wanted to do was to keep holding on.
I just didnt know how.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:36:03 PST

Things people talk about at work.

From: mei.kay
Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2009 2:23 PM
To: aaron
Subject: Resignation Letter

hmmm hows this

Dear boss,

Please regard this email as my official tender of resignation. The (insert the amount of time you worked at ur company) years/months/hours spent under your supervision was the worst (insert the amount of time you worked at ur company) of my life. I however, wish you the best in life. and hope you can find a dedicated staff equal to myself as a replacement.

Thanks for your kind attention =)

Regards

(insert name)

From: aaron
Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2009 11:31 AM
To: mei.kay
Subject: RE: Back at work.. sigh

Haha... if I go back to ipoh and not go back home, is kinda not nice right.. prolly if I go for a day also, I'll stop by la. LIfe in ____ sucks... everyday..

Ps.. do u have any sample resignation letters?

______________________________________________________

Note: This is as far as I can go about talking about work here.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:26:44 PST

Communication Breakdown.

When people talk about conversations, they talk about-wavelength. They talk about frequency. I used to have a better reception of what you had in mind. And now, all I get is static. I strongly suspect, in the end, I would just give up trying to decipher white noise.

But I really dont want to turn the dial yet.
Im just not ready.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:21:03 PST

Pout.

Dear Morgan Freeman,
Let me get this right, for once.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:25:11 PDT

I am Red

Hello, I am super mario's mushroom, you know - the power up mushroom Mario cant live without. I swear if it werent for me he wouldnt be able to win the heart of Princess Peach. Hmm useless bugger.

Anyway, I reside in the chaos which is mk's room. She got me a few weeks ago as a reward to herself for accomplishing something. So far, Im still kinda adapting to life around her. I still miss the other mushrooms at the store but oh well, that life, we have to move on :/ Anyway one thing I dont like about her is that her room is so messy I swear she's not a girl.. I have to pick up after her when she's not looking wtf.

Here is the subject which I am talking about. Look at her, hugging the pole like that while looking so happy, what an idiot! Anyway, since she is always writing rather emo entries here, its time I tell you some random stuff about her (according to my observations)

She lost quite alot of weight recently. Although she still thinks its okay to loose abit more (like 3 more kg?) Women, I tell you, are stupid. I for one, am still round no matter what I do, which is saddening. She should be grateful!! >.< Another reason why women are stupid. They buy shoes based on prettiness and not usefulness. Just look at this pair, they kill her feet yet she loves it to bits. She has too many shoes btw but always ends up wearing the same few ones. DUMB I tell you DUMB!

I think she secretly hates her job, but is too lazy to search for a new one. Tahan hingga tak boleh tahan, she says. Yet she has all the time in the world to read books with weird titles such as the curious case of the dog in the night time (thought it was pretty cool), Micheal Freeman's top 100 photography tips (thought it was informative), Queen Orchid (thought it was epic), For one more day (thought it was cliched), the notebook and Ps I love you (thought it was frustrating and waste of time- why cant the people just get together already!)

Okaaay, whatever.

She is addicted to coke. And throws panic fits when she is running low on her supply of fresh milk. Weird huh.

Due to her "busy-ness" she has been neglecting her guitar, which is sad since its a good guitar. And whats the point of a good guitar if one does not put it to good use. Haih if you ask me, she should just give the guitar up to some orphanage. Do some good, earn some good karma eh?

Okay, end of my monologue. Im off to pick up after the mess she just left behind.
^&#^(^$^@#

wtf i hate my life.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:47:47 PDT

Last Train Home.

Someone recently told me that Im on this train that never stops. I suppose she is right.

Im tired. I just want to be home.
Yet. Where is home?

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:39:33 PDT

00903090

There was so much perfection in that moment that I thought I must be dreaming.But I wasnt- I just woke up.

Have you ever had one of those days where you woke up smiling to yourself?
And at that moment, just that moment, you wouldnt want to change anything or anyone in the world.

Perfect contentment.

Ps: sorry about the uncombed wet hair, but i somehow like this pic, so you have to bear with me.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:35:53 PDT

We are all the same.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

- Oscar Wilde

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:17:30 PDT

This is a bitchy post.

Ten things I hate about this housemate of mine, whom I shall name small small girl (due to well, her size. duh)

10. She hates responsibility, yet she likes shoving responsibility to others and then tries to boss them around by giving unwelcomed comments.

9. She is a washing machine hogger.

8.She doesnt know how to close the back door. I have to keep on closing the door after her.

7. She washes her and her boyfriend's clothes at least, twice a day.

6. After washing her clothes, she leaves them hanging at the line for the next 63763 days. So everyone now knows how colorful and how thick the sponge of her bra is.

5 She has a live in boyfriend whom she first introduced to us as "friend" (whom I shall name shy shy boy because he's damn shy- never talk to any of our housemates. I dont even know his name til now and he's living in my house swt)

4. She likes to act cute. Even when she's talking to me. Ew.

3. She likes to act cute for the shy shy boy whom she claims is her "friend" (wtf be honest, we arent stupid) sleeps with on a single bed everynight.

2. She likes to act cute for the shy shy boy and they both get turned on which leads to a whole lot of VERY LOUD act cute+ obscene noises. (come to think of it-that's the only time I hear the shy shy boy make any sort of sound.. besides whistling, which.. come to think of it, he only whistles after he has got some action -_-|| )

1. They are at it now. I am studying. I cant concentrate. I want to bang down their door and tell them to rent a hotel room with sound proof walls or something.

Ok end of bitchy post, i swear im going to hear the shy shy boy whistling away happily later in the evening. To be honest, all I want to do now is to build a bonfire out of her overly padded bras and dance around it.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:44:43 PDT

This is dedicated to the boy who was brave enough to walk around in a powerpuff girl shirt.

Thank you, you made my day.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:07:10 PDT

Precarious

Of all the pictures I have- this is the one I can relate to most right now.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 10:42:59 PDT

Sunset- Morib

=)

Although it was nothing compared to the beaches of the east coast...
it was a nice trip.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 09:59:26 PDT

Transparency.

I seem to be in a perpetual war with myself recently. Its almost ridiculous. What I dont get is having really random people telling me I am smart when I'm walking around all day thinking that I need to grow a second brain because I often find myself constantly overwhelmed by everything that is happening around me.

So, I question myself where my priorities lay. And I get stuck trying to decide.

The only conclusion that I can make out of this is that- perhaps, just perhaps the problem I am facing is also what most people of our generation is facing. Is that we want everything to be instant. We stuff ourselves with instant food and get high on the ideas of instant gratification and success.

Everything is now, fast and immediate.

The moment we get behind the steering wheel, we want to reach our destination. The moment our internet lags, we wanna smash our modems into fine dust. The moment we see the next hot person, we wanna dump the one next to us. The moment we think our job sucks, is the moment we shall resign.

Sorry that my thoughts are scattered all over the place today, i am kinda frustrated at how things are going on. To tell the truth, I just wanna do something stupid and extremely destructive right now.

Namothasabragavathoarathosamasabuddhasa.
Ohhhhm.........

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:43:20 PDT

Life shouldnt be so dramatic.

....and people should spend less time worrying and arguing.
Instead they should start noticing their surroundings.

Hello uncle, lei hou mou?

____________________________________________________________

ps: No I do not stalk uncles.
beach pics will be up later as they are all stucketh in my hometown pc T_T
_____________________________________________________________

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:25:22 PDT

Yesterday- I took a break from reality.

I wish it lasted.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:55:14 PDT

Irrelevant

We have always been told to pursue the things we are passionate about- it is our right as individuals. But in real life, not many people do. If it means pursuing your own dreams will somehow effect the happiness of others as a whole, would the happiness you gain from pursuing what you want cover the guilt and consequences you have to bear?

We have always been told to be nice. But we have never been told that being nice, although might be the right thing to do, is hardly always the smart thing to do. So people are always left with the same age old dilemma: do the right thing that is so absofuckinglutely dumb or do the smart BUT horrible thing?

We have always been told that money is not everything. But then when we switch on our tv we see flo rida sitting in his sport car with barely naked ladies dancing around fanning their double Ds with thick wads of cash. And we think hmmm. Then we switch channels and you see the pope walking around in his pair of red prada. What are they trying to tell us?? What?

We have always been told that looks do not matter. The truth is that,hot looking people get away with so much more than plain janes of the world. Not to say that society is entirely shallow, brains do matter to a certain extent. If you have brains to go with the looks, you can get away with a murder or two. Or three, if that pleases you sir.

We have always been told to always respect our elders, their opinions and actions. But then god never made humans in the way that only the responsible are only able to breed.

We live by the laws governed by our countries, we live by the rules our parents have brought us up with, we live by the rules society has set on us and the opinions our peers have towards us.

In life, so many things.. so many rules are stupid and they dont apply, but yet we follow them anyway. Its like those times when you are stuck at an empty junction and the light is red. You know its stupid to wait because the road is empty, but you pull the handbreak anyway, all the while silently cursing the hidden camera. But you abide.

It is like my writing, you might not think that my thoughts are relevant to your life, yet you read anyway. Because you feel reading something from a stranger is less real than reading something written by someone you know.

HAHA I shall abruptly end this now.
Sorry this is awkward for you as it is for me.

It feels good to finally write something.
Relevant or not.

Cheers.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:52:01 PDT

Webcamwhore.

Over enthusiastic over new skill learnt- sticking on fake lashes.
XD

Actually Im a very busy person.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:27:03 PDT

Rush.

People tell me Im doing fine.
Sometimes I tell myself that too, although with less conviction.
I am doing fine?

I really miss my security blanket.
But something tells me its gone forever.
And I used to think growing up was fun.

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:54:37 PDT

Helo! I have streamyx!

Although it is faulty and makes me procrastinate on my assignments, Im fine with it. Anyway, no more small talk, since I do not have anything that will remotely interest you to discuss anyway. So there.

Snippets of life: Klang, Little India

The weather was awesome, I had spare time.
So I took an hour stroll around town two weeks back :)

the wire -_-

End.

Til the next time lah. This noob still has alot to learn. Didnt realize the complexities of DSLR settings prior to this. But Im fine with that :)

noreply@blogger.com (mickey) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 07:34:39 PDT

The untold part of the story...

I've been spending time going through some of my posts.

Three years I've been keeping this. Three years of putting thoughts into words, and then emotions into pictures. Different phrases, different places, different faces. So many jaded stories that remain untold. The misguided steps, the silences i fall into when I dont get life, the many tears i blinked back and the unsent sms-es to morgan freeman/god's handphone number.

Of course there are even more happy short stories with which I have selfishly not shared.

Stories of smiling strangers and frowning relatives. Precious lessons acquaintances have taught me, but names which I have long forgotten. The random places I appeared at, said my hellos and introduction, stayed long enough to be accepted as someone's facebook friend.. before disappearing.

I couldnt tell you a love story but i can tell you some pick up lines you could use on the next hot person you see. I could give you tips to how to hitchhike and speak to random strangers for hours at a concert safely.

Dont know what I want to say, but dont be so quick to judge a person. This blog might be mine but they are just parts of myself I have chose to share. Just a part of the big picture I suppose.

Speaking of which, I know I promised pretty pictures but that will have to wait awhile.

Streamyx- Always coming soon. Celaka.