All for His Glory

May 2016 Broniste Family Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Sun, 01 May 2016 09:22:00 +0000

Christ In the Broken Places

By Chris Broniste

Each time that I sit down to write a monthly newsletter I am confronted with the question: what to write about this month? So much happens in a week let alone a month. What could I possibly write about now? But every month like clockwork I am reminded of a particular trial and the extraordinary way that God has met our family needs in and through it. And just like that I am presented with the subject of our next update. True story. It is 1:12a in the morning as I write this. I am both utterly exhausted and compelled to write the following:

God often meets us in the broken places to remind us once again that He alone can make us whole. He alone can rescue us from the tyranny of our own decision making. He alone can see us through the maddening complex disappointing & mysterious trial that we call life. He alone can expose the raw nerve we hide behind our endless activities. No other person, place or thing can fill the void that we create when we try in our own strength to do His job for Him.

The problem is, the only time we are able to really see this is when we have exhausted all of our own resources. Only in those moments of profound loss, brokenness & bankruptcy do we see who we really are and how we have replaced the One who made us with things that are made with human hands. Right? I know I'm not the only one who does this. Surely we all do it, especially in seasons of crisis. We clamor to things we know cannot possibly save us in hopes that this time they will. And they never do. And they never will because they can't. There is only One Savior in this broken world. And it is not us, not any of us. But like children we have to prove that on our own by exhausting our own resources completely first.

And once we have done that, once we are at the end of our selves and our own temporary resources, then we cry out to God because we finally see our need for Him. And what does He do simply because He loves us? He condescends to us like a loving father in our brokenness, to meet us where we are at in the hurt & disalllusionment of our own inability & failure, not to rub it in our faces mind you or even just to fulfill some earthly temporal need we believe we have to have or may genuinely need. No. He comes to do so much more for us than that. He comes to reveal Himself to us in a way that we will not soon forget because He knows that this life is temporary and the only thing that truly matters in the life to come is the relationship we have with Him and the relationships we have with others.

Sit on that for a minute and consider. The God of the universe is more concerned with the health of our relationship with Him and the relationships we have with others than He is with the trinkets & bobbles, the places, promotions & provisions we desperately cling to and plead to Him for in prayer. He cares more about the state of our heart than He does our physical health our temporary homes happiness or hope. That is not to say that He does not care at all about those things. He cares very much for our sake. It is only to say that He cares much less about those things than we do. They are not idols to Him or impossibilities He can do nothing about. He knows full well that it is nothing for Him to provide those things for us which are best in His timing according to His will. But He wants much more than that for us. He wants our hearts wholly set upon Him, resting in His promises for our sake.

He wants our hearts to be free from the tyranny of the urgent; the pressing of the now. He wants to set us free from the burden of worry and stress, from the fear of the unknown. And the only way to do that is to ground our heart in the reality of who HE is, the reality of the gospel, the reality of His Son and the life He laid down for our freedom. It is as Paul wrote in Galatians,

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." -Galatians 5:1

I think we all will agree that the fear of the unknown, the restlessness of concern and worry is not really liberty or freedom at all. It is a yoke of unending bondage draining the life out of us, a burden that God in Christ has committed Himself to relieving us from. But in order to do that He must first convince us that we are carrying a burden to begin with or we will only ever fight Him when He goes to remove it from us. So He presses us, brings us to the places where we cannot carry the burden on our own. He leads us through the valleys of humiliation and longing despair and death to bring us to the end of ourselves.

And that my dear friends is the place that my family and I have been for the past week and a half: with our resources depleting, a job provided and then taken away just 24 hrs later, tired of living in a hotel, weary from looking for work, worried about how we are going to make it when Cindy's last paycheck comes and goes, wondering when God is going to finally provide the job I need to provide for our family. And do you know what God has done? You guessed it! Not at all what we expected. Instead, He has exposed our unbelief, revealed our apathy, our idolatry and our penchant for clinging to the temporal and temporary. In a word He has revealed to us the myriad ways that we have replaced Him in our marriage our ministry and our family, and all of this for our benefit. And contrary to what you might think it has actually been quite freeing. Granted it's not the answer to prayer we were expecting. But it's been freeing none the less to see who we really are and find out that He has not changed in the slightest.

He still has a plan for us whether we see it or not. And He is still good. He led us here to heal the wounds we could not see from the burdens we did not know we were carrying. Has anything in our outward situation changed? Nope. Not at all. Do I believe it will? Yes. I do. I really do. But even when they do, nothing will really change because He doesn't change. Sure we might be more comfortable on the outside. But the same redemptive work will be going on, in the inside. We will still be in need of a deeper revelation of who we are and who He is, in spite of us, how desperately we need Him and how available and able He is to fill the void in the broken places that we too often try to fill without Him. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that there will always be a need of some kind and He will always be there to provide what we really need, whatever that looks like.

And because of that, and because I see that, I feel like maybe for the first place we are finally on our way to being truly healthy as a family in our relationship with God and our relationships with others. Sure it's going to be a long road ahead of us. And sure we will falter and we will fail. But as the scriptures say God is for us no matter what happens. So if He is for us who can really be against us?

I hope if you take anything away from what you have just read, it is this: do not fear to walk with God in the broken places. Do not be afraid to confront your disalllusionment and despair. Do not be afraid to admit you cannot move forward. Do not be afraid to trust God with the places you are the most uncomfortable with going. Remember it is always in the hurt that God is manifest as the healer, in places of need that He is the provider, in places of brokenness that He is the restorer, in breaches of relationship that He is the redeemer. Trust God in the broken places and let Him do the impossible. It might be sorrow for a night but joy will come in the morning. I promise you. I have seen it with my own two eyes. He is faithful even when we are NOT because it is who He IS.

Thank you to all of you that supported us through the years. We owe a debt of gratitude to God for you kindness and generosity, your encouragement and prayers. May the Lord do for you as you have done for us.

Prayer Needs:

- A job for Chris that makes enough to at the very least rent a two bedroom apartment for now preferably in Lake Stevens, Snohomish or Everett.

- Cindy's health and stress level

- The boys to finish school out well

- Chris & Cindy to grow as a couple

- Emotional healing from Cindy's bout with cancer & chemo

Becca Joy

Mommy time :)

I'm Batman

Noah James!

Playing with the kiddos

April 2016 Broniste Family Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 03:50:00 +0000

Faith Beyond Profession

By Chris Broniste

Those who know me the best know that I do not typically subscribe to the Christian concept of the 11th hour. I have found in my own life that although God works within time He rarely works according to it, at least not in the way that we are accustomed to. He works according to His own nature & will which are perfect. And this creates a problem for those of us who are finite and imperfect, who are constrained by the realities of time and space and the demands of ordinary life.

When we pray for example for a felt need (a place to live perhaps or a job that will provide for our family), as finite beings we cannot help but pray with the sort of urgency or anxiousness of those who are uncertain, those who question the goodness of the one they are asking. Because the truth is in those moments, moments of profound personal crisis & need, we really do feel uncertain and we really do question the goodness of the one we are asking, even though we have little reason to do so, which brings me back to the so called 11th hr. You see I don't think God waits until the 11th hr to accomplish His will. I think He waits as long as it takes to bring us to the point of seeing ourselves for who we really are and who He really is in spite of our unbelief. He waits until we see how we really view Him in spite of our great professions of faith. He waits until we cannot keep up the act any longer of trying to believe on our own. He waits until we are honest with ourselves and others. And then He goes to work.

You see God is not interested in the journey or the destination. He is interested in us. He wants to free us, from the tyranny of time, the bondage of stuff, the fear of the unknown or the preoccupation with our selves. But you know what? He wants to do even more than that. He wants to free us from our broken human perception of His love, His Son and the gospel. He wants to set us free from the bondage of our performancism, our ritualism, our idolatry and apathy. And how does He go about doing that you might ask. Well, the simple answer is, He leads us to the place of needing Him to such an extent that no one else can help us.

It is there that He begins to expose us for what we are, so He can begin the work of saving us from the delusions we labor under: delusions of grandeur, of false humility, of self centered service, and false professions of faith or zeal, what Jeff VanVonderen calls the curseful living. Basically He loves us too much to let us live in bondage to our own self deception & dishonesty. So He leads us to the place of seeing ourselves for what we are, to liberate us from the lies we tell ourselves & others, to make us ministers of the true Liberty of the gospel for the benefit of other captives like ourselves, which brings me back to our motel room in SE Everett & my own little crisis of faith.

You see I wrote this nice little treatise on walking by faith in uncertainty last month and I talked a mean little talk about the will of God. But when it came time to actually practice what I had preached in my everyday life, to actually trust in the face of endless disappointment, I failed miserably. That's because I put my trust in my own ability to believe, to muster up the faith to move forward in difficulty. I failed to reckon with my own brokenness and frailty before God, my need for His endless grace. And He loved me too much to let me keep it up. So when my own best efforts had failed me & I could find no way out, I did what I always do, what I do best. I ran. I ran to the comfort & lies of this world. And I hid in the darkness of unbelief. I chided God for leading us to this place of impossibility. I questioned His goodness and motivation for leading us here. I prayed angry doubting prayers and I shut people out. But God wouldn't have it because He loves me too much.

First, He surrounded me with community, putting person after person in my life to direct me back. Then He pursued me through my wife, our kids & even the new pastor until I started to quake under the burdening reality that I have never actually confronted my own brokenness let alone in a community of people who love me. Sure I've talked about my past, blamed others for why it happened and even tried to fix it myself. But I never actually confronted the reality that maybe I am really broken beyond repair, that someone other than myself must fix the mess that I have made. And you know it's funny. That's how I first came to Christ as a youth. And God apparently saw fit to bring me back again almost 18 yrs later because He knew it would lead me back to Him. And wouldn't you know it, it did.

Slowly almost imperceptibly the Holy Spirit began to do His work in me, leading me back to the place of a real childlike trust. Of course it wasn't instant tea. It wasn't overnight. But little by little He brought me back. A long forgotten song by Keith Green came to mind. Dust to Dust. Classic lyrics. The remembrance of a promise. The faithfulness of God in the past. The perseverance of my wife in the now. The fact that we are in this together. I could go on. But the point is I had to lose my faith to see how brittle and unreliable it was, to see it wasn't rooted in Christ or the gospel of my salvation. I had to see that there is no better place than trusting in the One who made me and saved me for Himself, who led my family to this new and difficult place, who will see us through.

I had to see that everything in this life is temporary, that even if I get a job that pays enough and get our family out of this motel it doesn't really matter. Because life is about more than living. It is about knowing the One who saved us. It's about resting in His promises as those who don't deserve them. It's about living in the liberty of seeing ourselves for what we really are and being ok with it because He is ok with it. He made us for Himself. And He delights in our contentment with Him. My family & I had to be led to this place of impossibility to see that and accept it. No other place would do. No other trial would be sufficient to accomplish as much.

So why is this update called Faith beyond profession you might ask. It is simple really. We all make professions of faith at one time or another but we rarely step out of our comfort zone to follow through. We all make declarations of love but we rarely let Him call the shots in our life especially when it matters the most. If I have learned anything it is that God delights in us. He desires to have us all for Himself. By that I mean He delights in our simple faith. Faith that says I'll take you at your word no matter what, faith that is willing to suffer, willing to be confused and discouraged, faith that rests in the reality of who He is, no matter what our heart might say. And even if we don't have it in us right now to have that sort of faith, it's still ok. Because Jesus walked in that faith on earth in our place. His perfect faith has been applied to us in His name. So we are free to try and fail. Isn't that great?

I hope I have stirred you on to greater faith with my testimony of faithlessness. Perhaps my failure can be a lightbulb to you in some dark place in the not too distant future. Maybe it will remind you to turn back to the gospel, to rely on Christ in your own time of need when you forget as I have. I hope so. Either way I am honored to share with you what I have learned in this great season of transition. I pray the Lord will richly bless you as you follow His leading in your own life.

Cindy and I are so grateful to you for your love and support.

Praises:

- For a great community of believers to fellowship with!
- For new friends and play dates for the kids!
- For excellent reports from both boys teachers at school!
- For opportunities to grows in ways we never knew we needed to.

Please pray....

- For a great job for Chris with great benefits and great pay!
- For decisions that need to be made in the next week and wisdom.
- For a great place to live. That God would provide the perfect place and we would trust Him. There are lots of housing obstacles here but with God nothing is impossible.
- For the finances to cover all of our needs.

Here are some recent family pictures....

Silver Lake Park, Everett, WA

Daddy pushing all the kids at the park!

Josiah turned 6 years old!!

Its fun getting to know all the parks!

Noah loves the park!

Thank you for your continued love and support!! We love to pray for you and your concerns as well. Please let us know how we can be praying for you. :)

Love in Christ,

The Broniste Family
Chris & Cindy
Josiah, Noah and Rebecca

Feb/Mar 2016 Broniste Family Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Tue, 15 Mar 2016 14:07:00 +0000

The Deep End of Grace

Something Andrew Murray once wrote stands out to me this morning as I (Chris) write. What he basically wrote is, (and I'm paraphrasing here) that Grace is not merely the response of God to us once we have sinned, but the power of God in Christ toward us not to sin. As I write on the subject of faith, I am struck by this fact: God not only extends His grace to us when we are faithless, but also in order that we would deepen in our faith in Him in the midst of our adversity. In other words, grace is not only the response of God to us when we fail, but also His method to grow us in our shortcomings all along. He is after all gracious by nature. Why shouldn't He be gracious from start to finish?

As I write I am confronted by the simple fact that the trial of faith is both a demonstration of God's gracious nature towards us and an opportunity to grow in our dependence upon it in our adversity. We just need the faith to see it. And there in lies the mysterious reality of our pilgrimage. We need faith to rely upon the grace of God in adversity and the grace of God to believe Him for the impossible. The gracious nature of God makes it possible to trust him in the impossible and the impossible reveals the gracious nature of God to us in spite of our faithlessness. So we are stuck in a paradox of sorts that leaves us helpless, revealing our creatureliness to us (and others) in the most uncomfortable ways.

But what does that mean for us in reality or simply put how does that impact our every day life? Well friends I will tell you truly, I am learning what this means myself every day. And what I have learned I will do my best to communicate here briefly(?).

For example the first thing I have learned traveling from place to place with my family nearly homeless in the great state of Washington is this. Walking by faith is not about us. It's not about how much faith we have or do not have. It's not about our ability or inability in a particular situation. Walking by faith is an ongoing revelation of who God is. It is a proclamation to us in the most mundane of circumstances that we are not who we think we are. We do not love God as much as we think we do. More to the point we do not trust Him in the way we think we do or secretly long to, nor can we. And that's the point.

Simply put, Jesus already did. And his faith has been applied to us already in the gospel and THAT is what God wants us to see. In the same way that the law reveals our need for Christ, in the same way that God's holiness reveals our sinfulness apart from Him, walking by faith reveals our own cowardice and faithlessness in Christ. And here's the rub. It's not so that God can point his finger at us and say, "Ha!" If that were the case we might be justified in our selfishness and fear. No. It is so he can free us from the practical tyranny of our selfishness and fearfulness. In a word it's so he can redeem us from the effects of our most innermost pride & sinfulness. But most importantly it's so he can cement in our heart the reality of his love for us in Christ. It's so that he can affirm to us our need for Him and then remind us that His love for us is not based on us or anything we can do or not do. It's so that he can fulfill the need he has exposed. It's so we understand his devotion to us is solely and squarely rooted in Him; that his love for us exists outside of us.

Wait. What? Yep. Walking by faith is yet another in a long list of ways that God deepens & solidifies our relationship with Him which ultimately works to benefit our relationship with others. Sit on that for a minute and dwell.

But lastly I have learned, (Wait for it) that this life of faith never ever ends (this side of eternity) because we are always in need of a fresh revelation of...God and the gospel, not ourselves. If our introspection only ends at what we need to do, or haven't done then we miss the point. Walking by faith is always about who God is and what He has done for us in Christ). And we are always in need of seeing that, because we are exceedingly selfish and broken. And this is the will of God for us. In our brokenness God reveals his love. And in His love he reveals His self and His son. Without our brokenness we do not seek Him. Without a need to walk by faith we would fail to see the measure of our brokenness.

So here I am Broken in Everett, waiting for God to open the impossible door, exposed like a raw nerve in the rough craving complacency and safety because I love my comfort. But God will not grant it to me because he has something infinitely higher to give to me: His self. It's not that he doesn't want to provide or hasn't already. He wants me to remember that this life is short. And my relationship with him is forever. He wants to bless me more than I would ever bless myself because he loves me in the right way. Where I do not. I always destroy myself with self love because it is rooted in destruction. He loves me and leads me toward life in his love because He is life, not the sort of counterfeit life I'm always chasing after, either. True Life. Real, lasting life.

So friends let me encourage you to seek new ways to walk by faith, to rest in the gracious nature of God, to grow in dependence upon his love and his provision, to feed upon his promises and be satisfied. I guarantee you if you do you will never be the same and always only in the best way. And that my friends is the update I have for you. That is the word I have to write. And I pray that it will bless you & strip you of what's hurting you like it has me. Lord bless you for your faithfulness to our family. You are always in my thoughts and prayers as I travel the road with my family. May He be with you as He has with us.

-The Broniste Clan

Down to the Nitty Gritty:

Praises:

-For a warm place to sleep each night!

-For kids that are great even in hard changes!

-For the amazing ways God provides in unexpected ways!

Prayer requests:

1. An amazing Job for Chris where he can grow and that will provide for all our needs.

2. For a great house to live! Either to rent or buy! There is a housing shortage in the area. That He would give us wisdom on what to do and make it clear!

3. For our kids as every day there are new challenges and disappointments. Pray that God would give us the wisdom and grace to help them through this time.

Photos With the Fam!

The Promises of God...2 Cor 1:20

Precious Moments with Mommy

Fun at Chik Fil A!

Our New Friend Brianna

Road Trippin Brothers

The Broniste Family Final Missions Update 2016

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 22:22:00 +0000

The Far, Wide, Long in “Trust”

Proverbs 3:5-6"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Dear Family and Friends,

As we continue to move forward and learn what the “new normal” is for us as a family, one thing we have come to realize is that we have changed and life will never be the same again. Cancer radically changes a person. Not only their view on life and what is important but it also changes their view of God.

For me (Cindy) personally one of the many things that God has been teaching me is how far and wide and long do I trust Him. When I was 19 years old and on a mission trip to Mexicalli, Mexico I surrendered all of me to go anywhere, to do anything, to fully obey His voice and take the gospel to where it was needed. That call on my life has looked differently during the different seasons of my life. When I was single that call lead me to some amazing places in the world to live and I saw Him radically change lives. Then when I got married that call looked different then I expected as I learned to serve Him in new ways that brought encouragement to those on the field.

Now again, I find His call looks so much different then I ever thought. For months now Chris and I have prayed that we would go wherever He called us. Through prayer God lead us to friends of mine who I served with when I was single in Houston, Tx. My friends Doug and Lori Kothe are the pastors of a very small church in Lake Stevens Washington, which is about 40 minutes north of Seattle. When we contacted Doug and Lori to share with them what God was calling us to it and how we felt called to come along side a couple and do life and ministry together with them, they shared how they had been praying that God would raise us a couple who would do just what we shared with them. Washington is the least churched state in all of the United States and what better place to share the love of Jesus than by living there and doing life and ministry.

So we have decided to take a step of faith and trust God in His plans for our lives and we are moving to Lake Stevens, Washington. As I think about the verse that God gave me this last year through Cancer Proverbs 3:5-6 the word Trust stands out to me the most. What is it to trust God with our lives. By definition trust is firm belief in reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Again I am seeing how far and wide and deep is my trust of God really is. If I trust God in who He says He is and what His word says then stepping out in faith isn’t scary but a fun adventure of trusting God for everything. So we are off on another adventure with the Lord! We are getting rid of everything, pulling our kids out of school, Chris quit his job and we are moving. Our pastor recently taught on Gideon and following Gods call even when we don’t understand. That it took great faith of the part of Gideon to obey God and praise Him cause He had already won the victory. So we are doing the same. We are stepping out in faith, fully trusting that God will provide a job for Chris that will provide for all of us and a great place to live where we can minister to others.

So what has changed? The BIG change for me in all of this is I will no longer be living on support. God has graciously given us 3 months from our move date which is February 14^th, 2016 to continue to live on support. So that means for all those who are supporting us financially that your last day for giving is May 15th. If you are giving electronically you will need to contact Jack Fletcher at Saving Grace World Missions (714) 993-4801 or email him at jack@ccsavinggrace.com in May to end your giving. For those giving by checks please don’t send anything in past May 15^th, 2016.

If you feel lead to continue to help our family as we make this transition you can just send checks made out to us personally but you will not get a tax receipt.

We want to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all your love and support through out these years as you have so graciously given and been such a loving part of our lives and ministry.

If you have any questions feel free to email or call us. Thank you again! We love you all.

If you want to continue to know whats going on in our world...Chris will be updating our blog once we get settled in. You can check it at https://trustinghim4everything.blogspot.com

In Christ,

Cindy

Praises:

-For all the loving support from friends and family as we move!

-For a place to stay temporarly as we transition to a new place!

-For all the big stuff that has been sold or found a new home!

-For the amazing ways God moves and works in our lives!

Please pray.....

1. For an amazing job for Chris that would provide for our needs and have great health benefits.

2. For a great place to live that will meet our needs and be a blessing to others. Also that it would be exactly what we can afford. We are praying and trusting that God can provide a place to rent that will be below what the normal rent is or for Chris job to make enough to cover rent and living expenses.

3. For unity for Chris and I as moving is very stressful but we have a special needs little boy that makes things so much more stressful and harder.

4. For the kids to adjust to a new place and a new school. They both will be going to public school so pray for Josiah as he adjusts from private christian school to public.

5. For God to provide all the things we need to live. We are getting rid of everything here but our beds and starting over there.

6. For great closer as we say goodbye to friends here!

7. For the drive to Washington. That God would provide someone to go with us and for a safe and successful move.

Here is a look back through the years....

Oct 2008

June 2009

June 2010

January 2012

June 2013

March 2015

November 2015

The Kids fall 2015

Broniste Family Missionary Update Dec/Jan 2015

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 14:35:00 +0000

The Difference Between Ministry & Ministering

"And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" Matthew 25:40

I hope you were all as blessed last month by my wife Cindy's update as I was and that this letter finds you well & enjoying the fruits of the holiday season. If you don't mind I'd like to share with you another valuable lesson I learned this past year walking beside my wife in her cancer/chemo battle. And that is what the difference is between ministering to a particular individual as we are led by the Spirit of God especially in times of suffering and being a part of a particular general ministry at church. Allow me to explain.

As a former worship leader, children's ministry worker, Jr High youth leader and custodial assistant I have done my fair share of being a part of a church ministry. And yet it wasn't until my wife was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin Lymphoma & I was forced to take care of our three small children completely on my own at times, that I was forced to really see what it looks like to minister to another person one on one outside of the confines of what we call ministry (when no one is looking). That is what the God of Heaven has slowly and methodically worked into the fabric of my heart over the past year. That is what I want to share with you now: the difference between being a part of a visible, tangible expression of public Christian service in the abstract impersonal and intentionally going out of one's way to sacrifice one's time energy and resources to serve an individual most are unaware of when no one is looking.

Now I need to clarify. I'm not saying that general church ministry is inadequate or unbiblical, quite the contrary. But church ministry in the corporate sense is meant to be the outflow of ministering to people in the individual sense not as the source but as the fruit of God's overall work by the Spirit in His body. Furthermore being in church ministry can become an excuse to isolate from & worse yet even ignore the people we interact with on a daily basis both at church and more specifically in the world we live in.

Francis Schaeffer wisely remarked (I am paraphrasing) that the difference between the secular humanist and the Christian is this: The humanist will typically (nearly always) publicly address some general human need, trumpeting causes that never really touch them where it hurts or make them vulnerable where they live as an individual (I think of the Syrian Refugee Crisis and the outcry it has created, or hunger & poverty in the abstract). Where the individual Christian is called by God in Christ to practically minister to EVERY individual they encounter personally as they are led by the Holy Spirit. And there is a big difference between the two, huge, if we are willing to see it. But that is just the problem. Most the time we are not. It is far easier and less invasive to send a meal from a distance than to show up in person and sit beside the hurting or worse yet...dying for a few hours. It is far less time consuming to write a check than to visit the broken and downtrodden in our own neighborhood or further, far less difficult to send our love with a card, a Bible verse or even a Facebook or text message than it is to manifest it in person, much easier to send a prayer than ask how we might be involved in the answer to one. Is it not?

I know that is the case for me. And I am certain I am not alone. The problem with the American church as I see it (and I am included in this) is that we are far more willing to speak of being led by the Spirit than we are of actually being led by Him especially in the most practical ways, far more willing to study the scriptures and apply them to others than be exposed by the scriptures ourselves for what we are and be sanctified by the Spirit through them as we interact with other people. We are far more willing to speak about the ills of our country as a whole than interact with them as individuals and we are far more able and willing to serve when others are watching us than love when no one is. And that is the truth. It is our nature as human beings, Christian or not to do so. And that again is the problem.

But that is exactly why God gave us His Spirit to begin with: to sanctify us out of our old humanity and way of doing things and conform us into the image of His Son as both individuals and a corporately redeemed body of believers both representing & partaking in the reality of the new creation. We want the world to see Christ and yet we refuse to be changed by Him in the core of our being through the revelation of the gospel and our own need for it as we interact with both fallen and broken humanity. Now I am not saying we can or will do this perfectly. We can't and we won't.

But we CAN try and begin by submitting to the Holy Spirit as He leads us to minister to the needs of others in person according to His will. We can grow in our willingness to sacrifice when no one is looking to the praise and glory of our God. We can admit when we fail and repent in faith that God will use us in spite of our self and redeem the time we have wasted on ourselves. And above all we can saturate ourselves with the gospel and cry out to God in prayer that He would change us from the inside out through it so we can reflect more of His heart for the individual and less our own to the watching world.

I know this is a heavy topic to be discussing during the holiday season, but honestly what better time? What better time than now, in the hustle and bustle of church pageants and Christmas shopping, of planning parties and spending time with the ones we love to get outside of our comfort zones and ask if God would not lead us by His Spirit to reach out to whomever He wills for their own individual benefit even if it costs us our own? I pray that this word is an encouragement to you even if it is painful to hear at first. I know for me it has been the healing work of God in my own heart, even if I daily fall short to live up to the glorious ideal it represents. And I know it is because of my very failures in this area (and so many more I don't even know about) that God sent His beloved Son to begin with to that lowly manger not only to die on my behalf but live in it as well. Merry Christmas Friends and a Happy New Year. I pray it is a glorious and God centered one for you and your families.
We love each and every one of you and thank you for your support.

-Sincerely
Chris, Cindy and the Family

Praises-

-We got to spend thanksgiving with family in the Central Valley this year!

-Noah is improving in potty training.

-Gods amazing provision for our financial needs!

-Josiah got awarded the character award for thankfulness!! What a special award!

Prayer Requests-

1. Cindy's health... She has some unusual symptoms in November so she will have another PET scan December 9th. Please pray for clean scans and for all the details cause she can't be around the kids. Pray also that Cindy would continue to heal and get stronger.

2. Pray for Noah at school. He is in special Ed preschool. Pray for his continued development.

3. Pray for Rebecca as she adjusts life with her brothers during the day.

4. Pray for us as a family as we figure out what things as we move forward as a family!

5. Pray that we would continue to trust God to provide for all of our needs.

Thank you for praying!! Please let us know how we can pray for you and your loved ones!

Christmas family pictures

Noah's 4th Birthday

Brotherly love

Mommy & Becca

Broniste Family Missions Update Oct/Nov 2015

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Tue, 10 Nov 2015 06:33:00 +0000

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Learning to Surrender

As I ponder what to share with you this month, the theme that continues to ring true in my life right now is just learning to surrender. Cancer has taken so much away from us and changed our lives to such an extent that there is really no way for anything to ever be the way it was again. We will never be the same as a couple or a family again. And that is a fact.

And in the midst of that reality I am learning that as we continue to move forward I must give everything to God. Everything in my world must be completely and fully surrendered to Him no matter what. It is hard enough when you have no control of anything, but to accept that you will never gain the control you once had back is another thing altogether.

And that is in essence the reality I have been forced to accept and walk through these past few months. Although the treatment is over, nothing is really the same. My body is not the same, my emotions are not the same, my energy level is not the same, my house is not the same, my husband is not the same, my children are older, taller and not the same. Everything in my life is completely different including myself. Even I came out of it a different person. And I could choose to be frustrated with that or try in my own strength (and fail miserably) to go back to the way it was. Or I can trust God and fully surrender to Him moment by moment and allow him to do his perfect work in and through it all. And if I'm honest it is so hard to be that fully dependent on Him for everything but I know deep down that's what He wants.

Aw the joys of surrendering... I'm sure you understand.

In the end we must all choose to remember that the LORD is the author of change and that His ways are not our own. His ways are so much better then yours and mine. We must all learn to be thankful for the changes we cannot control. After all our sanctification is about surrendering to the glory of God... being conformed to the image of Christ through our weaknesses and frailty so others (including ourselves) can witness the sufficiency of Christ. Besides what we call control is really just an illusion anyways right? Why fight for something so illusive?

As the image bearers of Christ we must each learn to lay down our own rights, ways, methods & dreams, in essence all we are and want to be, the the "I's" & "me's" that plague our hearts and let the Lord be the LORD and master of everything we hold dear. After all He paid for us with His Son, gave us His Spirit and the promise of a life beyond our wildest dreams. The least we can do in return is embrace the Fully surrendered life!

We love you!! Thank you for being a vital part of our family!

In Christ, Cindy

Praises:

-For special moments together as a family!!

-For Noah starting preschool!

Prayer Requests

1. For the health and protection of our family!! We have started cold and flu season and the kids have already been battling a couple strong viruses. Please pray the Lord would sustain and protect Cindy from them. Pray also that they would stay healthy and strong this season.

2. For Cindy's health. Her white blood cells are unusually low and Drs are concern. They may schedule her up comimg PET scan early just to be safe. Pray for Cindy's lack of energy. Pray that she would just be fighting something and the cancer would not be back. Pray for us as we continue to trust the Lord for her health.

3. Pray for wisdom and guidance and we move forward into the future.

4. Pray for Noah as he is potty training and starting a new school. Pray he has understanding and he gets it. Pray for us as we help him in this process. Pray also for him to learn and adjust well at his preschool.

Here are some recent pictures of our family to enjoy!!

Our kindergartener Josiah

Our little preschooler Noah

Our little girl Rebecca

Becca & papa!

Grandma & Becca

Daddy and his little ones

Mommy & Becca

September 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 18:26:00 +0000

WALKING by Faith NOT Sight

This past month Cindy and I had the profound opportunity to get outside of our comfort zone and visit a small church in another state. What transpired was a mix of blessing and difficulty as the Lord challenged us to get outside of our little paradigm and consider the possibility that His ways are not only different from our own but far exceed them in every way. As I stood in the spare bedroom of a complete stranger, looking outside of their window into the dense physical and spiritual gloom of a place totally foreign to me, I was confronted with this verse:

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

(Hebrews 11:1).

[Some translations also read "faith is the substance of things hoped for" or " the confidence in what we hope for".]

Either way what the Holy Spirit conveyed to me in a nutshell in that moment was that I would never see what He was doing in my life or anywhere for that matter if I only looked with my eyes. I needed to trust Him regardless of what the situation or other people in my life were communicating to me in that moment. By speaking to me in this way he revealed two very important things to me: First this is what it really means to walk by faith and second, I was not doing it. I was not walking by faith, not really, not in the way that scripture exhorts me to. I was clinging to confirmations, to external financial provisions, to family, to friends, to my intellect and my understanding but not Christ, not the Holy Spirit and not the Father that led me this far. And I knew it. Deep down I knew it. And He knew it. And He led me all the way to another state to finally graciously and authoritatively call me on it.

You see I had always thought that I HAD lived my life by faith because I was willing to do what certain other believers professed to do but didn't have the courage to really follow through on. I thought that if I exhibited a little more faith than THEM that I was walking by faith in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. But I only deceived myself because that's not really walking by faith in the way that God calls us to, is it? He does not call us to judge and compare the faith of others and then act accordingly. No. He calls us to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in everything regardless of the circumstances. He calls us to set aside our own parameters and comfort zones, our personalities and experiences, to leave our judgment and understanding at the door and trust His naked word, and not just the cannon of scripture but also the voice of His Spirit in our inner being as He leads us according to that cannon of scripture.

You see it is not our place to set the parameters for walking by faith. That right belongs to God. It is our place to follow His leading, to rely on His word and depend on His power. We get the privilege to be led. He alone has the right to lead. So, why am I sharing all of this with you? Why be so transparent about about something so sensitive to so many? Well, first of all if I am honest it is because I believe the average American Christian (myself included) has inoculated itself with the idea that faith is somehow easy, that because we live in this comfortable little country of ours there are no real hardships or opportunities to step out of our comfort zones outside of evangelism. And that is false. The call to be a christian in this world is not a call to creature comfort or blessing (although there is no doubt that such grace is available). The call to be a christian is a call to be conformed to the image of Christ, to depend upon HIM the way HE depended upon His Father and the Holy Spirit in His humanity here on earth.

It is the call to live in both the visible world and the invisible, to experience the tangible and intangible realities that God in Christ has provided for us in the gospel. And up until this time I had failed to see that, at least in practice. I failed to see what it really means to WALK with God, to live by the principle of dependence on Him for everything. And standing in that (now) friend's spare bedroom I came to understand that there is no spiritual couch to wait upon in Christ. It is a call to walk by faith. We must put our feet in the darkness of uncertainty as He leads us and trust that He will light our way. We must speak when we are afraid if He commands us to. We must learn to forsake our reliance upon ourselves if we are to walk with Him, if we are to live by faith. And that is always for our benefit.

So friend, my exhortation to you now is this, do not forsake the leading of the Lord for something more comfortable or more tangible. Do not rely upon your own senses or sensibilities to guide you. Do not let the word of God in scripture become an excuse to dull your senses to the word of God in your ear by His Spirit. Learn to rest in the promise that He will never leave you or forsake you, that He has gone before you, overcome the world and prepared a place for you. I promise that you will never be disappointed if you do, no matter how difficult the road before you may be to do so.

Lord bless you for your faithfulness to our family. I know it has been a blessing to write you as I do. May the Lord encourage you, drain the dross of my message and fill you with His peace.

You are loved. And we are grateful for you!

-Chris and Cindy

Celebrating our 7 yr anniversary in Seattle

Daddy and his little ones!

Just got my port removed!! Celebrating 1 yr cancer free!!!!

Praises-

~ A fun 7th yr anniversary trip to Washington kid free!

~ Cindy's port-a-cath (what they used to administer chemo) removal was successful and is healing!

~ Celebrating 1 year cancer free for Cindy this Oct.

~ A diagnose for Noah which will provide other services we need to help our little boy.

Prayer Request:

-That God would continue to heal Cindy. She still struggles doing normal things like taking care of our kids. Pray that God provides helps for the days our nanny has to miss and the Lord would give her the rest she needs to heal.

-Pray for Noah who will start a special Ed preschool at the end of October. Pray we can prepare him for the transition of school everyday.

- Pray for the finances we need to purchase another computer. Ours crashed with the new Windows update. Pray that we would be able to get a new one that will last for the needs of our family.

-Pray for His leading and direction for the future of our family!

- Pray God would provide another place to live that is bigger and more affordable. Our landlord increased our rent and we are still struggling financially post cancer. Pray we would trust Him to provide all that we need.

- Pray for wisdom and guidance as we raise our family!

We love to see God answer prayer. Please share with us how we can be praying for you and your family!

August 2015 Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:05:00 +0000

Cancer is a gift

“Every Good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1: 17

Dear Family and friends

Wow it’s been a little over a year since I (Cindy) last wrote an update letter. As you know, it’s been a challenging year. A few people have asked me what all God has taught me through this difficult season so I thought I would share with you just a little.

Several years ago I met a woman who was a cancer survivor. She shared about the difficulties of cancer and the greatest thing she learned from it. She said she had learned that cancer was a gift. She believed that God had given her cancer as a gift. And that that gift was perfect and exactly what she needed. I sat in awe of this woman who walked with God and believed that cancer was a gift. I walked away from that afternoon pondering her statements in my heart but knowing that I would never could say cancer was a gift.

Now several years later, after my recent battle with cancer, I fully understand why she said that. Cancer is a gift. God uses this horrific life altering, life changing event, to show you not only who He is but to show you who you really are. Seeing and experiencing the sovereignty of God in a way like never before is a gift that can’t be duplicated. Yes there is a tremendous loss on so many levels unlike ever before. And yes the pain is unbearable. And yes the poison put in your body is the worst thing imaginable. But God… God uses it to change us and mold us and shape us into the people He wants us to be. I am not the same person I was before cancer. That person seems fake and superficial. My heart for the LORD has deepened and so has my heart for people. The gift of cancer is that I have been changed.

There is tremendous suffering in this world and God has called each of us to be his hands and feet and show the love of Christ. In a world that is all about self, love is the complete opposite of that. Love is sacrificial. It costs to love. Love wasn’t free. Jesus suffering and dying was the ultimate example of love. It was horrific, it hurt beyond compare, it cost him His life. So if we are called to love our neighbor as ourself then it will cost us our time, our resources, our very lives to show them the love of Christ. I have learned that I don’t love very well and that’s why Christ died. To pay the price we couldn’t. He loved at the cost of his life because we would never be able to. All of this to show us the greatest love we will ever be given. Christ love is a great gift.

So my challenge for all of us is where am I willing to show real love to those around me? Where am I going to give of my time to sit with someone in the hospital or make meal when I am not sure there will be enough for your own family, or where am I going to show love by coming along side and entering into another person’s suffering?

My hope and prayer is that we all don’t wait till a near death experience to see how deep the Father’s love is for us and live it out to a lost and dying world around us. How can we show the world the greatest gift we were ever given?

1 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does no know God, because God is love.”

In Christ,

Chris & Cindy
Josiah, Noah and Rebecca

Prayer Requests:

Cindy: Please continue to pray for her health. Chemo fatigue is normal and lasts many years. This makes it hard to take care of our family. Her Dr. and counselor has said that she is doing to much and under to much stress for her body to heal properly. It's very hard to rest with 3 small children. Please pray that she would rest often and allow others to help more. Also pray for us as we can no longer afford our nannies. Pray that God gives her supernatural strength to care for our family full time. Pray for her walk with God to be rich and full and that she would trust Him with her new limitations.

Chris: Pray for him with balancing work and helping at home. Its draining working full time and coming home to take care of the family. Pray for supernatural strength to balance it all. Pray that he would lead our family and all it's challenges out of an overflow of his walk with the LORD.

Josiah: Pray for him as he starts all day kindergarten on Sept. 8th. He will be attending Friends Christian School in Yorba Linda which is a huge blessing. Pray for him as he adjusts to a new routine, new school, and new friends. Pray also that his heart would be open to the gospel this year. We are so excited and he is too.

Noah: Please pray for our sweet but challenging Noah. Pray for us as we begin the process of special education for him through the public school district. Pray that God would move mountains with our insurance Kaiser to get a diagnosis which in turn will open up more services that will help him grow and develop. Pray for Cindy as she is his advocate though all of this. Pray that God would give Chris and Cindy supernatural wisdom and patience to help teach him boundaries and all the things he needs to know.

Rebecca: Please pray for her as she is growing like a weed. She is sweet but spunky at times. She is trying so hard to keep up with big brothers Josiah and Noah. Pray for her as having her brothers in school will be a big change. Pray that she would enjoy mommy time and we would have special bonding times. Pray for wisdom on how to help teach and guide her.

Also please pray for our family as we look to the future and all God has planned for us. Pray that we would trust Him in the unknown and uncertainty that he will lead and guide us.

Thanks for praying for us!!
We would love to pray for you and your family...please email us your prayer requests (cindybroniste@gmail.com)

Here are a few pictures from our recent family vacation! Hope you enjoy!!

At our hotel! The kids loved it!!

Pool time!

Making special memories with mommy!

Mommy and Becca!

Daddy and Josiah in the big pool!

She keeps us on our toes!

June/July 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 13:27:00 +0000

Growing Downward

In his book The Master's Indwelling, Andrew Murray compares the deeper works of God in sanctification to the development of an oak tree. He writes, "How was the oak born? In a grave. The acorn was planted into the ground. A grave was made for it, that it might disappear. It died and disappeared; it cast roots downward, and it cast shoots upward, and now that oak has been standing a hundred years. Where is it standing? In its grave; all the time in the very grave where the acorn died; it has stood there stretching its roots deeper and deeper into the earth in which its grave was made, and yet, all the time, though it stood in the very grave where it died, it has been growing higher, and stronger, and broader and more beautiful. And all the fruit it ever bore, and all the foliage that adorned it, year by year, it owed to that grave in which its roots are cast and kept." As I (Chris), consider what the Lord is doing right now in our family, it is this. He is teaching us to stretch out even further in our dependence on Him, through even the most difficult of circumstances.

I wish that I had something more outwardly glorious to share with you, a change of some kind in our circumstances or some great provision of God that I could relate to you about, but I don't. Even though God has given us little moments of rest to enjoy here and there (for instance our 4th of July family vacation) we are still very much in the same place we were last month: still learning to make our way through the slow process of recovery, still learning to assist and adapt to our son's special needs. And while Cindy is doing much better than before (and we are so grateful for that) she is still very weak and still in need of assistance. We are still trying to adjust to the many different challenges and changes that come with losing a year of our lives. And we are still very much in need of all the prayer we can get to know how to do it all.

And yet, we are exactly where God wants us to be as a family, no less important to our development than when He first brought us together or walked us through the difficult journey of cancer & chemo. Even though it feels at times that very little has changed for us, it turns out that much has and God is still very much on the throne and still very much at work in our lives. It's just that it looks very different to us now than it did before. And I think we are both learning to adjust to that. Like that little acorn I mentioned before, that was planted in its grave, we are both learning to stretch our hearts and hands, our family & our finances even further down into Christ then we have before, to place our faith in His ability and surrender more of our own, that we might grow up a little bit more into His image, the image of the only begotten Son of God who loved us and called us to this place to begin with (Romans 8:29) according to His mercy & goodness.

Maybe one day we will both look back with great fondness on the season we are in, not as a pair of budding trembling acorns stretching their feeble hands down into the soil of inward death, but as two tempered oaks lifting their grateful hands to the sky in praise to the One who planted them. For now we are simply learning to be content in our surroundings, to look for any opportunity we can find, or which the Lord presents to us to serve those in need, to enter in and assist those who are suffering as best we can. And is that not the point of our suffering in this life anyways: to glorify the only one who is sufficient in it, to bring comfort & consolation to those who are going through it right now? At least that is our perspective these days and we are grateful for it, because it was given to us by One more glorious & wise than we are, quite in spite of ourselves.

In closing, I would like to say once more (I don't think I can say it enough) how grateful we are for the kindness & charity of those who have and continue to walk through this with us. I don't know where we would be without your love. If you would, please allow the Lord to broaden your kindness & charity toward others even further by asking Him to lead you into giving more of yourself to those around you who are suffering, to enter into their pain and walk beside them in their misery. Like I said it's my prayer that He would do the same for us. I want our family to be a companion to the broken-hearted, the emotionally & physically crippled who languish in this life for a little bit of comfort to no avail. I want our hardship to always be in the service of those who are suffering. I want to say that we did not hesitate to stoop down in the dust or assist those around us in need, in much the same way that God in Christ has done for us.

Lord bless you and keep you in these turbulent uncertain times and add to you and yours more abundantly every day, the riches of his endless grace in Christ.

-Sincerely,
The Broniste Family

Here are some prayer needs at the moment:

Cindy- for her walk with God to be rich and full. That she would serve her family and others out of her walk with God.
Cindys health- She is continuing to heal slowly. Please pray for her upcoming blood work to check her electrolytes. She is also will be having an X-ray soon because she has lots of pain getting up from a seated position. Recently she is having pain in her jaw with lock jaw type symptoms. This is a side effect of chemo. She also has been having a hard time with heat and it being very painful due to neuropathy. She is still very tired and struggles to take care of our kids. Please continue to pray for healing and strenth.

Josiah- our big boy is about to start school! He will start all day kindergarten on September 8th. This will be a big adjustment but exciting one for all of us. Please pray for him and us as we prepare him for school.

Noah- we are in process of getting him early intervention through the public school. This means he will have an IEP (individualized education program) which will include occupation therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and possible ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy. This is a HUGE learning curve for all of us. This means that he will start preschool this fall five days a week for half day. For the school purposes they are saying he is ASD (autism spectrum disorder) high functioning. We are still seeking a medical diagnosis as this will help open up with more services for him. Currently we are still going to occupation and physical therapy once a week. Please pray for us as we learn to balance his needs along with the needs of our family.

Rebecca- she is growing like a weed and becoming her own person. Please pray for her as we learn to teach this feisty little girl who has to out do her brothers! Also pray for her especially with the adjustment of both her brothers being in school.

Chris- please pray for him as he balances everything with work and home. Pray also for his anxiety level that has been high due to the strain of this last year. Pray especially for our financial needs. Pray that his walk with God would be full and give him confidence as a husband, father and leader. Also pray for wisdom and direction as he continues to lead our family as the Lord leads.

Thank you for praying! Please email us how we can pray specifically for your family and their needs.

Summer fun in photos

Rebecca and mommy enjoying ice cream.

Daddy and his boys!

Celebrating together!! 1 year later and in remission!

The kids on vacation at the beach!

Happy 4th of July!

May 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Thu, 04 Jun 2015 14:29:00 +0000

The God of the Blank Page

Being the romantic that I (Chris) am I love to sit on a cold dark day and drink in the cloudy and tempestuous sky. That's because the sky is like a canvas to me. And like a canvas I prefer it be filled with a spectacular image of some kind and not just blank. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it gives me something to look at. I appreciate the warmth of a sunny day as much as the next guy. It's just that an empty sky does nothing for me, in much the same way that a blank canvas doesn't. I enjoy the substance.

Now God in His infinite wisdom has chosen to do something quite different in our lives. And I imagine it's because He doesn't view the world the way I do (I mean how can He? He is so far above it all). Instead of blessing our pre-existent life together, He has forced us to begin again. Instead of blessing our little work of art, He has chosen to erase it & paint over it. Now at first glance this seems like a horrible idea. Who wants to work hard at something only to have it destroyed in front of their face? Not me. But as God would have it we are finding out that neither of us really knows what living is all about and it shows. Every difficulty we face together lately in this season only seems to deepen that reality.

You see as Americans we pride ourselves on our sense of accomplishment and sanctification (at least for Cindy & I) has always been something of an accomplishment. We have invested a great deal of time into working at it and value our growth. But it turns out our God is NOT an American at all and is not impressed by any of our accomplishments not even our (poor) attempts to grow in sanctification. He values the person and as such is more interested in their overall health & development than their personal accomplishments, even the ones they do in His name. It's not that He doesn't appreciate what they do, it's just that He already accomplished everything for us on our behalf in His Son. And He knows that we will never come close to doing what He has already done for us in Him, no matter how hard we try because we are finite & limited by our personalities (the reason He sent His Son to begin with).

So the Master has taken it upon Himself to expose the futility of our previous efforts by smashing our paltry little works of self improvement into tiny little bits. And that is really the point. What do we do when the Creator decides to destroy something we have worked so hard to accomplish? How do we respond to our sudden unemployment, handle a divorce or rejection by a loved one. How do we endure the loss & pain, grieve for our stollen health or live with a newfound handicap? How we do move forward in life when the Creator Himself has cut our legs out from underneath us? What do we do with the blank page when it is God who does the erasing? How do we let go of what we cannot change? How do we trust the One who led us here to begin with?

These are the questions burning in my mind as I contemplate the place that God has us. How do we trust the Lord in our uncertainty if it is God that led us here? How do we trust Him when our gut impulse is to complain at Him for all the terrible things that have happened to us, to challenge His judgment or question His goodness towards us. How do we trust the One that led us TO the pain to begin with? How do we rest in the God of the blank page? And yet in spite of being tempted to think such foolish thoughts, to ask such faithless questions, to think that we somehow know better than the One who made us, I am compelled to remember His faithfulness toward our family and trust Him yet again even with the uncertainty of the blank page HE created. You see the truth is the problem is not Him. It is me. I just don’t understand the beauty of uncertainty, the glory of the decimated life or the naked dependence that comes from knowing nothing about the future, being completely powerless to do anything about it even if I did.

Again that is really the point isn't it? Sure I might speak of walking by faith but it is only ever in the abstract. I might quote the right Bible verses with the best of them and look real spiritual to others. But at the end of the day when push comes to shove and I am prompted to step into the unknown, if I am honest, I am terrified of uncertainty and resistant to change. I cling to my comforts instead of my prayer closet, my television instead of the Bible, my intellect instead of God's Spirit (I mean is that not why Jesus had to live & die in my place to begin with?). But that is no way to really live.

The Ancient of days did not sacrifice His life so I could live mine in fear and desperation. I was set free for liberty was I not? At least that's what the Bible teaches me (Galatians 5:1). Being afraid is not living in freedom. And it is certainly not the liberty we have in Christ. But why am I sharing this with you? Why be so transparent all of the sudden? If I'm honest it's because I do not believe my wife and I are in some extraordinary place of sanctification, the exception if you would to the “ordinary” life. I think it's that for the first time, we are finally beginning to live the way we were created to: in the sanctifying liberty that comes from a total dependence on the One who made us & saved us in Christ, by surrendering our own efforts & relying on His.

And He didn't do this in a foreign country or even in the bush of Africa on a missions trip, but right here smack dab in the middle of the global center of endless creature comfort, in the freest nation on the planet. The sovereign Creator chose to expose our inward slavery & destroy it by destroying what we hold most dear right where we are at. He decided to strip us of our comfort, our strengths, our dreams & our lives right where we live and replace them with something infinitely more valuable than anything we ever had on our own. By seemingly destroying our lives, and redirecting them, by ultimately demolishing our finite goals & rendering our family immovable and broken He has actually begun the process of healing and restoring to a far more blessed state than we ever imagined. It's just that He had to destroy us first in order to do that. He had to expose & destroy the different idols we created for ourselves out of even good seemingly biblical things by first destroying our capability to do anything other than trust in Him for everything we have (a glorious & terrifying truth if you really think about it).

So here we are in the hand of the God of the blank page we know not where, but finally and tangibly free, learning to walk by faith in the practical things, to be led by the hand of the invisible, to lean on the arm of the intangible, to rest in the work of the Divine. We are learning to follow the leading of God's Spirit in the little things & the big, to confront the darkest parts of our personalities in faith that we are already accepted in the Beloved, loved in Christ. We are learning to live a life of love outside of our petty fears, to live a life without the burden of the former things that only ever dragged us down, to rest in the finished work of our savior & rely on His love. It is a far better life than we ever imagined, far better than we deserve.

I want to encourage you to grow in the way that you perceive our Heavenly Father, to view His work in your life in a different way. I think at times we believe & pray as if God wasn’t able to do anything without our help: to think that we must first instruct Him in prayer if He is to do anything right in our lives. I know I have been convicted of late by this in my own life. And I think the point bears repeating. We can trust the Lord to lead us no matter what it looks like. We don’t need to fear His judgments or His wisdom. He is always good to us no matter what we do. It is in His nature to do so. It is never His faithfulness towards us that is on trial but our faith in Him in light of that truth, that is. So the question at the end of the day is really not is He good enough to trust in but are we going to trust Him no matter what He does or how we feel or are we going to rely on the works of our own hands and trust in our own understanding?

I know we have never really profited from leaning on our own understanding and I am sure it is the same for you. I can think of no higher more blessed life for the saint in Christ than to rest in everything on the One who made it all to begin with. Will you join us in walking this way and put your faith in the God of the blank page? I promise it will be well worth it in the end. I have seen it for myself.

The Nitty Gritty with Cindy:

- She is still moving forward in her recovery thanks to all of your many prayers and the tender mercies of our God. In fact she recently had a pet scan and it came back negative which means she is still in remission (yay!) She still suffers from neuropathy & has trouble remembering things. But she has come a long way. And we are VERY grateful for the improvement. Please continue to lift her in your prayers as you think of her though. She still definitely needs them.

The Kiddos:
-Josiah is getting so big and is almost ready for Kindergarten. Becca is such a cutie & quite the little communicator. Noah still gets nose bleeds and has trouble communicating but is improving a little every day.

Some Basic Prayer Requests to consider:

- Pray for Cindy as she begins to watch the kids on her own once a week.

- Pray for Noah as we look into different options for helping him further with his development & special needs

-Pray for Cindy as she makes preparations to get Josiah into school and for the special aid and understanding of the faculty regarding her physical state.

- Pray for our marriage & our family as we continue to walk through the recovery process

-And pray for our family as we consider the future

We are grateful to each of you for your continued love and support. You are the life blood of our little family, the means by which our God has chosen to speak and work and act. We thank the Lord for each of you and pray for your own continued blessing. Lord bless you.

-Chris and Cindy

Sunshine in the Rain

Our Handsome Boy

Bruised & Beaten but No Less Good looking

Our Sweet Becca

April 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 13:15:00 +0000

A New Perspective

As I (Chris) reflect on the past year there is so much that comes to mind in the way of what God has revealed to Cindy & I about our lives: who we are, how we need Christ & what needs to change. The Holy Spirit has revealed everything from idolatry of ministry, to deep rooted apathy & gross unbelief. But of all the different gems I could share with you that we are learning together, there's one that stands out above the rest to me. And that is the generally impoverished way I now know I used to live before all of this happened and the rich way that God has begun to work in me to change that.

It humbles me, for instance, to think of the different ways I failed to appreciate my wife for who she is apart from my broken ideal of her before she was diagnosed with lymphoma, to see the profound contribution she has made to our life & our family in spite of me. In short it took the threat of losing her to see what a treasure she really is. But it also took the profoundly difficult & blessed responsibility of raising our 3 children nearly completely without her, to see how precious & unique they each are and how much they (and I) really need her. It took an ongoing series of practical needs to see the value of the body of Christ. And it took being nearly completely alone for almost a whole year to recognize the value of fellowship & friendship. In short it took the physical cancer in Cindy to finally expose the spiritual cancer in me: that greater disease of selfishness and the need for repentance of it.

Only where Cindy's was eating away at her body mine had begun to eat away at the very fabric of our family, (at least) my faith in God, our marriage & sadly every other relationship I had taken for granted. Where hers had forced her to reckon with her mortality, mine had force me to face a life without her. Where hers had forced her to rest and receive the aid of others, mine had forced me to step up and serve in ways I didn't know I hadn't before. And in the superior gracious wisdom of God this worked on my behalf to change and grow who I am.

As I look back on the past year I am not only humbled by the generous natural way that God chose to work in our life through the gracious gifts of other people. I am also humbled by the way He chose to work through the very suffering itself. That’s right I said it. I am not only grateful for the blessings IN the suffering. I am also grateful for the suffering itself and all the difficulty it brought us. Every conflict, every difficulty, every fearful painful moment that we experienced together this past year has only served to deepen us more, mature us & bless us, enrich our understanding of the gospel & deepen our love for one another. It has also served to cultivate & enrich a truly meaningful & necessary dependence on the Living God as individuals & a couple. And as I said before this has worked (at least for me) to change the very fabric of who I am, for the better.

So while I look back on who I was with a growing sense of regret. I also look back with an equally growing sense of awe for the miraculous way that God has chosen to work on my behalf (and my family's) to not only change my poor behavior but also change who I am, how I think, how I see other people and serve them in practical ways. And for that as I said I am very thankful. If I can offer any general encouragement to you from my own experience this past year it's this: maybe instead of asking God to help you escape from whatever trial you might find yourself in, ask Him to give you a deeper revelation of the gospel in it and change you through it. Because I personally think He waits for us to do that anyways so He can really get to work in us and bless us (and others) in ways we've never dreamed of, in ways that transcend the boundaries of this world.

Some Different Ways You Can Pray for Us:

- The numbness Cindy's feet to go away.

- For Cindy as she deals with post chemo fatigue. (It can last from 1-3 years and is worse then chemo tired. Pray for strength and energy for normal everyday tasks.)

- For Noah's meltdowns and different delays. (His test results are that he is NOT currently on the ASD spectrum yet but his behavior shows signs of being on the spectrum later on. They will reevaluate him in six months to see if there's progress. His adjustment issues to normal family activities puts more strain on our family. Pray for God's wisdom to know how to balance his needs and without jeopardizing everyone's needs as well.

- Please pray for our family in general as we continue to find a new normal. So far readjustment has been very difficult.

Thank you again to each of you for your fellowship, prayer and support. You are the love of God to us and we cherish each and everyone of you.

Lord bless you.

- The Broniste Family

Quality time with Mommy

Daddy & Baby Girl

Lunch Time!

Sleepy Girl

March 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 13:32:00 +0000

Christ In The Aftermath

I (Chris) cannot think of a better way to describe the post-chemo recovery process than to liken it to the aftermath of a major earthquake. (I'm from So Cal after all.) You might also compare it to any other major disaster if you like (whatever is easiest for you to relate to). Everywhere we look we are forced to deal with some form of unthinkable devastation neither of us expected: something we have either lost which can never be replaced or something that's been destroyed which will take years of hard work & the grace of God to rebuild. The emotional spiritual & physical toll that cancer & chemo have taken on our marriage, our family & our individual emotional states is simply beyond belief right now.

And although we didn't ask to experience these losses, to have our lives reordered or dismantled in the way they have been, there is precious little we can do about it on our own because we were never in control of our own lives to begin with & we both know it, even if we forget it at times. We were led here by the One who made us for Himself & saved us in Christ to begin with. So whether by direct intervention or allowance, it matters very little in the end. He led us here for His own special purposes & glory. And we both must learn to except that and walk in that by faith. It is not like He hasn't already proven to both of us that He is with us & for us no matter what happens to us. He certainly has. So we can put our trust in Him & rest in His work through this as well.

Although we have no idea what that will actually look like in the end or what good can possibly come from the craziness of this past year. we do know that He does. And that's enough for us. Personally I can think of no better place to put my own faith than in Him. I'd rather live through 50 devastating storms with Him than travel the road of this life in ease without Him. And that's the truth. But where does that leave us as a family practically? Where do we go from here in the long term? How are we supposed to assimilate back into an ordinary life after going through something like this? What IS normal these days anyways? Recovery is a slow & painful process, one that is clearly going to take a lot more time & patience to get through than we ever thought it would before.

And from where I am standing the only thing I can see that we CAN do is move forward in faith that God will see us through. We must learn to put our faith in Christ and rely on His sufficiency in everything anyways, right? Why Not here as well? Why not in the recovery process? After all, we are not alone in this. We have a Heavenly Father who gave the only Son of His love on our behalf to live & die in our place for our benefit. And we have the Holy Spirit who groans for us with words unspoken & points us back to Him when we falter and fail. And if that's not enough we also have the church body to lift us up in prayer & stand beside us in the many difficulties to come. And that is more than enough for anyone; more that enough for our present needs anyways. So we are clearly in good hands.

Although it is true that chemo therapy recovery is a VERY difficult place for anybody to be in, we both agree it could be so much worse than it is. Despite the difficulty & damage that have followed we are both so grateful to God for all He has done on our behalf, so much more than either of us really deserve. So while anyone would agree it is not the ideal place to be on the surface, we have both seen it to be the gift of God to break us & change us, mold us & shape us & ultimately ground us in the deeper revelation of the sufficiency & supremacy of the Son of God who gave His life for us. For me personally I can honestly say, in spite of all, it has actually been a positive life changing experience, one that I have certainly taken for granted, one I am sure to look back on with great fondness and miss when it is all over & done with. And that is the truth.
---------------------------------------------

As for Cindy's health, I'd be lying if I said everything is much easier post-chemo. The truth is as grateful as we are to be through it all, it is still not without its difficulties. For example she now has an edema in each of her feet and still suffers from pretty bad neuropathy. Her body still aches the majority of the time and it's still very difficult for her to think clearly about even the simple things. She still struggles to help take care of our children and she can only do so much before she begins to shut down physically mentally and emotionally. Of course it doesn't help that we are currently preparing Josiah for kindergarten or taking Noah to get tested for ASD (autism spectrum disorder) or even that our Becca has become quite the little ball of non stop energy keeping us both on our toes at all times. But life moves on just the same and we do our best to keep on keeping on, resting in the strength of our Savior.

In conclusion, we want to thank each of you again, for the many kindness you have shown to our little family through the past year. I cannot imagine where we would be without your gracious love and support. May the Lord bless you as you have blessed us and keep you in the power of His Spirit.

-Sincerely,
The Broniste Family

A Few Family Prayer Requests for the Road:

- Wisdom & understanding for Chris & Cindy to deal with Noah's ASD results
- Grace for Cindy to adjust to helping with the kids & getting used to normal life
- Provision to pay for nannies until Cindy can take over
- Grace & wisdom in the increase of spiritual warfare (the result of sharing the testimony of Gods work in our lives this past year)
- For Chris & Cindy as they adjust to married life again (emotional & spiritual healing in the re-connection process)
- And finally for our family's emotional state in general (there is a lot of hurt and pain to wade through as a family)

Thank you

All Together for Easter

Fun with Family

Turning Five!

Quality Time W/ Mommy

February 2015 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 13:51:00 +0000

What is normal anymore, these days? That’s the question I find myself asking lately. Cancer was the norm for awhile and then it was chemo. And now it is remission. But what does any of that mean anyways, in the grand scheme of life? Either way I still have to trust in the Lord with all of my heart, repent of trying to understand everything on my own, lay my concerns at the foot of His throne and rest in the promise that all of this will work out for our good in the end spite of what we are going through in the moment. And the thing I keep coming back to is how is that any different from the rest of the saints on planet earth?

I know that nearly every experience is different in some way from the others. But in the end isn’t the purpose still the same? Haven’t we all been called to suffer in this life as believers, to worship in adversity, trust in uncertainty and grow in the midst of our difficulty, as we are daily conformed to the image of Christ through the inward work of the Holy Spirit? So I guess what I am saying is, even though we have been blessed to pass through this particular valley is there not another one already waiting somewhere around the corner, to sanctify us a little bit more and solidify our restful dependence on the One who saved us? I think the answer you will agree is, Yes. Yes there is.

After all we were not saved to be comfortable here, but to rely upon and reflect the One who saved us & gave His life for us to bring us into deeper fellowship with the One who sent Him to restore the life of every man woman and child that would believe in His name. And what better way to do that for a sinful selfish individual than in the crucible of hardship and affliction. So while I am grateful for words like remission and transition, I am also cautious, not necessarily fearful of calamity, but weary of my propensity to avoid it at all costs.I do not want to be the person I was before our family went through this hardship. I do not want to grow stagnate in the belief that our own personal comfort and safety from illness and death is really a benefit, and the sole reason for God saving us.

I want to move forward in the reality that we are all pilgrims, as believers, called from the grave of sin and death to live lives of conformity to the will of the One who knew us and created us for Himself, when we were nothing but wretched and self-serving from the womb. And I guess I am sharing that with you so that you will join with us in sharing this same grandiose purpose. I want our journey as a Christian family to continue with or without the threat of death as a testimony to the faithfulness of God and His enduring grace. No matter what happens next, I want others to look at our lives and the sufficiency of Christ in them and say glory to the living God who was and is and is to come. Regardless of what difficulty or prosperity we may experience in the weeks and months ahead I want our lives to always only bear witness to Him and bring Him glory.

And I am sure you feel the same.

Now as for Cindy's health:

She is currently in recovery having just recently finished her last & final round of chemo last month. This means she is finally in remission. Praise the LORD! However because she was stage IV there is still a high probability of recurrence. So her Dr. said we shouldn't celebrate until after she has cleared the five year mark of being cancer free.

Unfortunately her body still aches a lot these days and it's very difficult for her to get up and do "normal" things. So her Dr. has also recommended that she take it very slow for the time being. That means she won't be able to take care of our children on her own just yet, at least not for the next few months anyway.

And in addition to this some of the side effects may also be permanent, like the bottom of her feet being numb (neuropathy), joint pain,..etc. But only time will tell. Her lungs are still continuing to heal as well.Her lung Dr. is hopeful that the damage is only short term and will subside with time. She still gets winded if she talks for long periods of time, or after going up & down the stairs (we live in a two story) or even when she tries to sing a worship song. So she needs to take it easy.

And these are only just a few of the challenges that lay before us in this season of transition.

A few basic prayer requests for our family would be:

For Cindy's continual emotional physical & spiritual well-being in this new transitional period
For Chris & Cindy as they re-adjust to married life together (those who've been here understand)
For the children's continued health
For wisdom to handle the normal challenges and changes of life in light of everything (Josiah preparing for school & Noah's development for example)
For financial assistance and availability for the nanny situation (at least till may or early June)
And finally that God would direct us as a family in this next phase of our lives, that we would submit to Him & follow HIS leading, without getting ahead of Him.

Thank you, all of you, for your continued prayer and support. It goes without saying that something like what we have all just gone through (and truthfully still are) will inevitably change you. And the one thing for me that has definitely changed is my growing appreciation for a godly supportive community. You have been my family's family through the greatest trial of its existence. And I want you to all know that we are both so thankful for you.

Lord bless each and everyone of you as you deepen in your own understanding of the sufficiency of Christ in whatever place you find yourselves in this life.

Sincerely,

The Broniste Family

Becca with Her Pretty Bow

Daddy & Baby Girl

Our Little Valentines

He's Gettin' So Big

Sweeties

December/January 2014 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Thu, 25 Dec 2014 23:29:00 +0000

Although I initially wrote this on Christmas Eve for my other personal blog, I felt it would still be fitting to use it for our monthly newsletter as well. It both shows where we are really at and reveals what God is doing in our hearts through it all in spite of it. Lord bless you this winter season as you read it.

-Chris

A Valley is Still a Valley (But a River Is No less Refreshing In It)

For those of you who do not know my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin Lymphoma in July of this year and has had to endure a rigorous schedule of chemo therapy since then. As a result I have had to take on the role of being the sole care provider of our three small children (with help) and maintain the sanity and morale of our home these past 5 mos or so in edition to working a full time job. Needless to say it has not been easy for any of us least of all my poor wife and nothing has been off the table regarding our individual and personal suffering not even Christmas. Everything from our relationship with each other to our physical health and financial standing has been attacked over the last five mos. Why not Christmas? And yet our God has seen us through it all, even Christmas. Through the most unexpected sources our God has proved time and again his undeniable sovereignty over the cosmos and everyone and everything in it.

And I guess that's why I'm writing...to remind myself that our God is still on the throne in spite of my insatiable loneliness in the absence of my wife's affection (who can think to be affectionate when they are suffering like she is?), my frustration at having to spend Christmas at home away from extended family without a real tree (petty i know but I'm only human), my anxiety at trying to single handedly help our children focus on Christmas and not their mother's poor health (impossible I know but I have to try). Now it's not like God hasn't already gone above and beyond for us especially this Christmas, providing a magnificently large stocking full of unexpected gifts many loving saints went out of their way to give us, the likes of which you could fit at least two of our children into, not to mention an army of gracious mothers to cook and prepare a Christmas feast for our little family in edition to taking care of their own. The truth is I really do have much to be thankful for...and I guess I needed to mention that. But in spite of all this and so many more wonderful streams of grace and provision I could mention that God has provided in this valley we are in, it is after all still very much a valley and difficult as valleys go.

It still hurts to watch my wife suffer the way that she does. It breaks my heart how unsympathetic I can be, how brainless or clueless I can be when she needs me the most. In spite of my best efforts to care for her and bless her let alone this Christmas, the truth is I cannot really give her what she truly wants: her health. I cannot restore her body, make her hair grow in or make her nausea go away. I cannot take away her discomfort make her breathe easier or give her the last five mos she has lost back. I am utterly powerless to do anything she really needs or wants. And that is more difficult for me than I care to admit. So while God has and continues to bless our little family in this season it is still in a valley that he is doing so. It is still waiting for my wife to go through her chemo on Friday. It is still in the midst of great emotional physical and psychological suffering. And that is a reality I must accept, a reality no Christmas gift I give or receive can make go away, a reality no delicious dinner can eclipse. And that is the will of God for our family whether we choose to see it or not. I know that and believe that. The Bible even confirms it.

So why am I writing this on Christmas Eve? Maybe to give myself a reality check. Maybe to give you the reader something to be thankful for. Maybe to remind myself at the end of the day that the true meaning of Christmas is not gifts or trees or family or even friends. It is not showing love or being loved. It is not warm feelings or lovely songs, treats or memories. It is about a fallen world that the God of the universe loved so much he intentionally sacrificed his own Son to redeem it. It is about a little human baby being God incarnate waiting to willfully and joyfully sacrifice himself so that the creation His Father loves can be redeemed, redeemed from all the sickness and death that plagues it, the sin that corrupts and distorts it and the devil that manipulates and destroys it. Maybe at the end of the day God loves my wife and I so much that He decided in edition to saving us from His own deserved wrath he would put us through this awful season to deepen and refine our perspective of the redemptive reality Christmas was always meant to magnify and reflect. Maybe so I could write this in the middle of my own personal heartbreak and you the reader could benefit from it. Who really knows but him?

I only know that on this lonely Christmas Eve with my wife asleep in our bed struggling to sleep, and our three children waiting for the morning to come as quickly as possible that this daddy needed to pour out his soul somewhere in the hope that his own (though minuscule in comparison to his wife's own but still no less painful) suffering is not in vain and can be used to the glory of God quite in spite of himself. He needed to express if only to himself the reality that this season is no less painful because of a great flowing river of grace and that grace is no less magnificent just because this season of misery in the valley is so awful.

I know it's Christmas Eve. And on Christmas Eve we try to think of pleasant things. But on this Christmas Eve night I have been confronted once again with the horrors of chemo therapy and the destruction it has wreaked on my wife's already fragile body. I have been confronted with the reality of the gospel. I have been confronted with my own inadequacy and the supremacy of Christ. I have been confronted with the true meaning of Christmas and the baubles and trinkets I tend to replace it with. I have been confronted with reality. And as painful as it is I am grateful for it. I can think of no more practical gift one can receive on Christmas Eve from their maker than to be confronted with their own desperate need for him and the glorious love he chooses to lavish on His children in that need. So if you take nothing from what I have written up till now please take this.

On this Christmas look at the people you are surrounded by, the gifts around your tree, the wonderful ways that God has shown you favor through the year and remember you deserve none of it. Neither do I. And we would have none of it if the Son of God did not condescend to take the form of a human embryo, become subject to the physical limitations of an ordinary lowly human being and die in our place. It is because of his unfathomable sacrifice before and during the cross that people like my wife (and others like her) can have hope in the midst of the most unthinkable suffering. It is because of His sacrifice that this time of year has meaning. It is because of the enduring practical gracious love of the godhead that I can write this exhortation on Christmas Eve instead of feeling sorry for myself. It is because of that little baby in Bethlehem that you can read this and benefit from what I have written in it.

Merry Christmas who ever you are. I love you and pray that the love I have experienced in this valley will spill over into your life as well. It may be a valley I am in but the grace of God is no less tangible and real in it. You may be in a valley yourself and it may hurt something fierce. And that hurt may definitely be valid. But I guarantee you that if you are in Christ there is a river waiting for you in it. Don't give in to the bitterness or self pity of your heart. Don't be robbed by the deceiver into thinking you have nothing. Find that river which God has provided for you in your circumstance and drink from it even if it is only the remembrance of who Christ is and what He did for you and I. I guarantee you that is enough to satisfy you in the depths of your soul in whatever valley are in right now if you will only be willing to see it. Lord bless you and make His face to shine upon you this coming year. Remember if only by God in Christ, you are loved more deeply than you could ever comprehend. And that my friend is more than enough.

As for Cindy's current health situation:

The results of her bronchoscope were negative for infection. It turns out that the damage is really the result of the bliomyicin in her chemo cocktail.

As a result they have put her on prednisone for the next two weeks or so to help w her breathing & lung function. Her last chemo minus the bliomyicin will be on the ninth. Then the lung dr is scheduled to check up on her a few days later. Sometime after that she has to go to a bone marrow specialist to see if she will need a bone marrow transplant. Depending on the results of that meeting they will monitor her for reoccurrence in the future. But that's only if all goes according to plan. And as we have seen nothing hardly ever does. So your prayers are appreciated.

A Few Simple Prayer Requests:

For Cindy as she endures the side effects of the prednisone she has to take for her lung issues

For the boys as they adjust to mommie's breathing issues

For daddy as he takes on more responsibility in the home

For the grandparents as they continue to travel back and forth to help

And finally for Cindy's body & mind as she takes her Final chemo treatment on the 9th of January

Thank you and Lord bless you this coming new year! We are grateful for your enduring love and support:)

-Chris & Cindy

Baby's 1st Christmas!

The boys being blessed by our Secret Angels!

A Quick Important Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:05:00 +0000

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Ok. Here it is friends. Yesterday Cindy did NOT go to Kaiser to get another pulmonary test as we supposed she would but to our mutual surprise, instead, to meet with a pulmonary specialist who informed us of the following:

First off, Cindy's lungs are apparently now inflamed because they're unable to properly diffuse any oxygen they receive. As a result her heart is working over time to compensate for the lack, which is creating an elevated heart rate. That is why she is so easily winded all the time & on bed rest.

But in edition to this there is also another concern. It turns out that in edition to all of this there is also a sort of spot of some kind...a discoloration on her right lung which the CT scan recently revealed that has her Drs. concerned.

As a result Cindy has been scheduled to receive a Bronchoscope this Tuesday the 23rd of December. Basically they're going to stick a camera down her trachea and see if they can find anything out of the ordinary going on there. In edition to this they're also going to biopsy different parts of her lungs to be safe. They want to leave no stone unturned.

What that means in terms of her treatment is that the BEST case scenario for her is that it's only one of her chemo drugs (Bliomycin) affecting her lung function and they will have to press on without it; The WORST case scenario being that she has a Pneumonitis or even a form of TB or Lung Cancer and they consider how best to proceed from there. Although the Oncologist feels fairly certain that it is just the chemo effecting her lungs and nothing more he doesn't really know and thinks it best to go through the testing to make sure.

Either way I don't have to tell you how discouraging it is to hear all of this so unexpectedly especially so close to her last two chemo treatments let alone right before Christmas. Please keep our family in your prayers this week if you think of us as this will put a serious damper on the holiday season and in spite of the best intentions of her Drs still feels very much like a punch to the stomach. Needless to say it is a lot to take in right now and neither of us is really sure how to feel about it. For now we are simply choosing to lean in even feeble faith on the One who led us here.

We love you all and appreciate everything you have done for us through it all. We trust that God is even at work in all of this and look forward to seeing what He does through it all.

Lord bless you and keep you this holiday.

Chris and Cindy

November/December Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Mon, 08 Dec 2014 17:54:00 +0000

Greetings Friends!

First off I want to apologize for the tardiness of this update. It has been a fairly hectic couple of weeks. So I hope you don't mind but I thought I would keep it simple this update and refrain from sharing any significant insights I might have gleaned over the past month or so in it. With the Holiday season upon us and Cindy at the end of her Chemo therapy things are more than a little crazy around our household. I hope you will understand.

Well, we're finally here! Cindy is about to begin the last cycle of her 6 cycle treatment. And boy is she ever glad! Her last treatment is scheduled for January the 2nd 2015. And it couldn't come quickly enough for her.

Although the last one was slightly postponed a week, she has successfully completed 10 of her 12 scheduled treatments. And while the first eight were relatively not as bad as they might have been for her the last two have been particularly awful, denying Cindy the usual brief period of recuperation she typically gets a week or so after a treatment. Without that usual period of release from the symptoms she has been feeling quite miserable the past few weeks.

But she presses on, grateful that an end is finally in sight, hopeful that the tyranny on her body is at last drawing to a close.

I'm also happy to report that she is cancer free at this point and her hemoglobin counts & white blood cell counts are both up despite the severe fatigue & neuropathy she currently experiences in her hands and her feet. So at this point she will not be needing a blood transfusion. Thank you for the prayers! With very minor exception her oncologist is pleased with the results of her chemo. And we couldn't be happier about that.

In closing as you think of her this holiday season, please continue to lift her up in your prayers. This has been a very difficult season for her especially with the holidays upon us. And I imagine the end will be the more so. She will definitely benefit from any request you might feel led to lay before our Heavenly Father on her behalf.

A few simple practical requests would be:

An ongoing appetite for food for Cindy. She's not eating enough.

Energy to do the simple ordinary things she needs to do. Everything wears her out.

A guarded heart and mind in the loss of her hair appetite and energy. We can't imagine how hard that must be.

And that no other chemo treatment would be postponed

Also: please pray for the boys. This holiday season will look very different to them from the others

You can also pray for my own heart mind (Chris).

I'm increasingly tired physically emotionally and spiritually as we get closer to the end.

I am starting to forget simple things (I guess because I've got so many other things on my mind these days).

Please pray that I'm able to give my family the attention affection and devotion they need from me (I'm a high introvert) in this season.

And finally please pray for Cindy's parents John and Kathy. They're both an incalculable blessing to our family and contribute much to the maintenance of our little home. Pray for their health, and against any drama that the enemy might try to drum up against them. Pray for their marriage and for their travel. They both travel quite a distance each month to see us.

As always we are both so grateful for your love and support each month and value each and everyone of you for so many different reasons! You have all contributed in so much this season. And we are both so humbled by your love.

In closing I (Chris) want to say to each of you: you have all been the tangible demonstration of the tender mercy & grace of our God to my family and I. Your love has been a stream in the desert I drink from often which God continues to sustain me with in my most difficult hours of need. Whether it's a cup of coffee hand delivered to my door on a hectic night, a dear friend stopping by to say he cares or a kind word spoken with tenderness from a seasoned mother, you have all been Christ to me. And this holiday season I want to say I am grateful for all of you. And I am sure Cindy feels the same.

Merry CHRISTmas & a Happy Healthy & Whole Holiday season to each of you and all of your families from all of ours!
We love you all.

-Chris, Cindy & the Family

The Munchkins

A Becca in a Basket!

Brotherly love

The Boys

Cindy (Lovely as ever)

October 2014 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:01:00 +0000

The past month has been eventful to say the least, filled with different difficulties challenges and confrontations...some that really brought me to my knees on a number of occasions. So I really wrestled through what I should write about this month in our newsletter. I pondered my absence of patience in some of these confrontations, my frustration in the absence of a working fridge & a broken toe. I wondered if I should try to describe Cindy’s misery as she nears the end of her treatment or if it would even be edifying to read. And it is always our aim to edify when we write these updates. I contemplated the merciful provision of God of late & the desperate need to persevere through a coming holiday season that might be anything but joyous. I thought about my inadequacies as a husband & a father in this season and how so many have had to come to our aid to help us. But none of it seemed adequate. Then I was confronted by my need for the gospel... again.

And it got me thinking... about life in general and the hardships it presents, our perpetual need for the gospel and God's endless faithfulness to meet us in it. And as I meditated on these things and countless others it got me thinking about the service of God in Christ on our behalf in the life and ministry of Jesus, and just how resistant we all are to accept it and rely on it every single day..especially in our hardships. I mean the idea of God the Creator stooping down as a servant to serve His rebellious creation not only in salvation but also in sanctification boggles the mind when you think about it. After all it seems so unreasonable and unfathomable that the highest of all would stoop so low for someone so undeserving. But isn't that exactly what He did in Christ? And lets face it. We all needed him to. Every one of us did and still do, which is perfectly okay. He is not offended by our need for Him even if we are.

And let's face it. We all are. And I think that's really the point of bringing us back to it...our need for Christ in the gospel that is. I think if we are really honest with ourselves the thought of God serving us, is unsettling if not somewhat confusing and more than little astounding to be sure. That the Creator of the universe would condescend to His creation in order to save them, let alone to the point of living in obscurity in their place for nearly three decades is both humbling and perplexing to us and demonstrates a level of commitment to the plan of redemption I wager most of us would never be willing to have even IF we had the power to do so.

But that is exactly what happened in Jesus. The second person of the trinity, the Son of God, took upon himself the lower nature of his creation and served them, to the point of physical exhaustion and fatigue, even dying on a Roman cross intentionally in their place for all of their crimes… and at the hands of the very ones He came to save no less. And He did all of this because, the truth is they desperately needed Him to do so. And so do we even now. And He knew that and still does even if they didn't and we don't. He gladly met them where they were at as He does with us today. Because that is who He is. That is who He will always be in spite of us no matter what we do or what happens in our lives. And that is incredible if you think about it.

In fact I want you to do just that. Sit it on it for a moment. Drink it in. Absorb the reality of the gospel with me once again and remember the One who accomplished it all on our behalf... who He really is and what He really did. Let it do what it was meant to do for us: bring us to the end of ourselves… our selfish desires, our petty wants, our complaining wandering questioning hearts & the world that constantly enables them. Let's allow it to drive us back to the place where we belong: in the loving arms of our merciful Savior who loved His Father and us to the point of sacrificing His own dignity rights and life for our sake. I don't know about you but that is where I want to be right now. And I think that is where the Lord Himself wants us all today....not as super saints caught in some hyper serving mode ready to give a word or serve in our own spiritual confidence…but as humble needy children, broken and weary resting in the finished work of the One who came before us, in our place to do what we cannot and will never do in our own strength. And I think that is a good place to be. Don't you agree?

In these trying times we are going though right now I know I need to return to the gospel of Jesus Christ… again. I need to be refreshed again by its promise of a final lasting redemption. I need to remember that this world will perish and a new one will take its place. I need to accept that I will always fail in one way or another...fail to believe…fail to walk according to the mystery of the gospel…fail to see the value of my wife’s suffering. And that is okay. That is exactly why God sent His Son to live and die for me in my place…because I needed Him to. We all did and still do. We all still need the cross of Christ. We all still need to be forgiven of our sins, to be confronted daily with the relentlessly persistent grace of God in the suffering of His Son, to be sanctified by the Spirit of God in His application of it. And I guess…we always will. And that is the point of all of these hardships at least from the heavenly perspective. They are meant to bring us to the end of our selves, to bring us back again to the finished work of Christ and our dependence upon it.

And that is why I am sharing it with you. I think if we are all honest we will admit that we can never be presented with the gospel enough even as believers. We can never be reminded enough of how weak we really are, how desperately we need a savior even now, how easily we forget just why the Son of God had to come and take our place. I think if we are honest with ourselves we will admit that we all secretly know that the reason we suffer and endure these trials even as believers is because they always bring us back to our need for the gospel, back into the arms of our loving Savior, back to the care of the Father and back into the creaturely dependence we were recreated in Christ Jesus to walk in and back to the place of resting in the promises of our final redemption.

So maybe in reminding my self today maybe He is also reminding you. Who knows? All I know is that I can never be reminded enough of my own need for his love, my own need for His grace and His mercy. I can never be reminded enough of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I can certainly never be reminded enough of the promise of our final redemption.

So here's the Skinny:

With only 4 Chemo treatments to go, Cindy is nearing the end of this part of her journey
Because there is a high recurrence rate for patients with Stage 4 Hodgkin Lymphoma she will also need to see a bone marrow specialist after she has completed her last treatment.
Cindy has been running a fever off and on. If she runs a fever that exceeds 100.4 F she will have to be admitted to the ER.
Noah is doing great with his speech development but still shows signs of having special needs along the lines of sensitivity and sensory issues.
At this time it is crucial that our family remain healthy and unexposed to any form of sickness that might put Cindy's life in jeporday. So your prayers are appreciated.
Other than the usual emotional financial and spiritual needs that this season creates our family remains in tact, resting in the merciful provision of God, blessed by the outpouring of constant prayer and loving care the body of Christ continues to pour out on us, to the praise and glory of His name

We are indebted to you all for your generosity but mostly for your friendship and understanding in this season. May the Lord richly bless you all beyond abundance and show Himself mighty on your own behalves as He has for us in our time of need

Below are some pics from the past month.

Enjoy!

Our little Becca bug:)

Eating with friends

Smiling for a change:)

Celebrating 6 years together!

September 2014 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 00:07:00 +0000

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Cor 4:17-18

If there's one thing this season has done for us together as a couple, it's to illuminate the scriptures for us in a way that we haven't really known them before, in a way that we both didn't know we needed to understand them for our own comfort, consolation & growth. Speaking for myself I can honestly say that each day that I open my bible I am confronted again with the overwhelming reality that it is not only the will of God for Cindy & I to go through this difficult season together, but it is also His highest blessing on our lives as a couple so far to do so, if we would only be willing to see it that way and walk with Him in it. Allow me to explain.

As a believer in Christ there is no higher spiritual blessing, no deeper more meaningful fellowship to be had with God than in our own personal suffering & adversity. It's only there in our own personal suffering that the we begin to see & appreciate the suffering of Christ on our behalf, to see it for what it really was and give glory to God for it. That is the holy place of insight, the place where we, like Jacob, are brought into confrontation with the One who made us, called us out of the world & saved us. That is the place where we are forced to confront & forsake the many different idols we didn't know we created in our desire for comfort, the place where we are confronted again with our inward poverty & the need for salvation. And while it can be the most painful place in the world to be in the moment, it can also be the most blessed one, here anyways, if we are willing to see it that way and accept it.

You see not unlike a human marriage our relationship with God is rooted grounded & deepened not so much in the easy comfortable times we experience together but in the difficult ones we didn't see coming. It's the unexpected conflict, the painful merging of two different personalities, that really deepens a healthy marital relationship. Those are the moments when we get to see ourselves & our spouse for who they really are (good & bad) in the light of truth, the moments when we either continue the trend of self preservation or embrace sacrificial love in its place. Those are the moments we are often forced to face together the harsh & difficult realities of life, the sacred moments when our love for one another is tested & established. And since God is a person (albeit a transcendent sinless incorruptible one) & we are in a relationship with Him in Christ, then the same must be true (at least to some extent) of our relationship with Him as well. At least that is what the scriptures seem to indicate. And it is in that light that one might even say (treading lightly of course) that most (if not all) of the Pauline epistles were a sort of written counseling session between the bride of Christ & her groom, with Paul mediating on behalf of the Holy Spirit, to correct admonish & convince her for her own spiritual benefit; which of course brings me back to Cindy & myself.

You see far from being some awful meaningless unending trial we've been forced to endure for no good reason, this season has actually been one long albeit often painful, sometimes overwhelming, series of blessings & instruction, with the scriptures acting as a sort of mediator between the two of us & Christ. For me personally, I am learning to cast ALL of my cares & anxieties on the One who saved me, no matter what they are or how overwhelming they feel to me in the moment (1 Pet. 5:7). I'm learning that I need to be refreshed by the love of God for me in the gospel, daily, that I need to recall His goodness towards our family & remember that it extends beyond the boundaries of what any of us can offer Him in return, that He is glorified in our dependence & magnified in our weakness. I'm learning to see that everything from Cindy's original diagnoses to her ongoing chemo therapy (and everything in between) has really been a divine opportunity for God to show Himself strong on our behalf, to bless us by grounding us in the gospel of our salvation, to deepen our understanding of His sufficiency in Christ & so bring Him glory through the witness of it to others.

So while it might feel rough to us in the moment, at times, the suffering & adversity we get to experience together in this season is really just the highest blessing of God in our lives, the triumph of His power over our sin and death in all of its natural glory. By attempting to avoid it or escape it we only do injury to ourselves, and so rob ourselves of the greater more glorious spiritual blessings there are to be had in Christ Jesus through the Gospel. And the more I think about it the more I realize that the apostle Paul must've understood this and that is why He spoke so often about his own human suffering and even gloried in it.

But I know what you're probably thinking right now. If we were all to be REALLY honest with ourselves we would still admit that no matter how glorious this talk of suffering sounds right now it is still painful to endure none the less and we would all rather just skip it in the end. And you are right. I know Cindy and I have thought that at different times and honestly still do! BUT we both also prayed (single & married) that God would have His way in each of our lives no matter what, that He would lead us & guide us according to His own will & not ours regardless of the cost, that He would get the maximum amount of glory in our lives no matter how hard it is (some prayer huh?). And you know what? He has done just that, not in the way we expected or even hoped of course. But none the less He has done for us exactly what we asked of Him! And it has all been worth it for us so far. In spite of all the anxiety & difficulty we have both experienced over the last few months we both agree that this has been the most blessed either of us has ever been in our walks with God, that it is without a doubt the most consistently & gloriously we have ever seen God work on our behalf in our lives and walks. And that is saying something my friends!

So in closing we both want to encourage you to pray a similar prayer in your own way of course and as you feel led by the Spirit of God. We want to encourage you to trust the Lord in new & deeper ways, to rest in His leading and be content with whatever HE wants for your life, to be willing to go to places you might not really want to go, maybe even experience difficulties you might rather avoid altogether, to be open to the possibility that what you want for your life right now might not be the best God has for you, that maybe the very thing you wish to avoid is actually the very blessing of God on your lives. Whatever the case you and I can rest in the fact that He is always good no matter what our current circumstances might be. His ways are never our own and He is always working on our behalf for our greater good to the praise and glory of His name. And I don't know about you but that brings me great comfort!

Prayer Requests:

*Pray for Cindy as she enters the most
difficult/crucial stage of her chemo therapy. Pray for her health,
her delayed nausea and aches from the booster shot

*Pray for Chris as he takes on more
responsibility in the home

*There will also be no holiday travel this year.
So please pray for the boys as they adjust to change.

*Pray for the unavoidable loss of pay
when Chris misses work

* And as always pray that we would grow
in our faith & dependence on God as He navigates us
through this very difficult season

We love you all and appreciate everything you have done already:)
Lord lead you & bless you

Chris & Cindy

Rebecca Joy 7 months

Big bother and baby girl

Rebecca & mommy

mommy & her boys

Chris leading us in worship

August 2014 Monthly Update

noreply@blogger.com (BronisteX) — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 22:03:00 +0000

The Hill of Difficulty

by Chris

Anyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite books is The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. There’s a part in that book where Christian must climb The Hill of Difficulty. It’s a particularly steep hill, one so high & so hard to come by, that Christian eventually has to climb on his hands & knees just to scale it.

As I think about the different hardships my wife’s had to endure over the last few months, it’s the Hill of Difficulty that comes to mind because Chemo Therapy is just that. It’s a very difficult hill that must be endured at all costs whether she likes it or not. It’s a slow painful climb up a difficult hill often at times on her hands & knees. And while I may not be the one going through it myself, I do have the divine privilege of walking, climbing & crawling beside someone who is, someone very close to me whom I love very dearly. And let me tell you it is a sight to behold. The side effects alone are something to be reckoned with.

Now please understand I don’t expect you to fully understand the weight of what I've written here. How can you being removed understand what I myself struggle to comprehend daily, being in it? But I've written just the same not only to give you a simple update on the current situation but to challenge you (& me) to look at the situation from a different perspective, to see it the way God would have us to, through the lens of His Spirit.

The truth is we are all confronted with death on a regular basis, whether we see it or not. And Cindy’s condition is certainly no exception to that. We just don’t think in those terms because we haven’t learned to see our life with the eyes of understanding. I know I haven’t.

Still, every sickness, every disease, every sinful inclination motive & action you & I have is a manifestation of death. Every attempt to stop aging, change our appearance or alter our physical makeup an attempt to thwart or at the very least slow down death. We just haven’t learned to see it that way. And the culture we live in definitely reflects that.

But the reality is we all live on a dying planet that is waiting to be renewed, walk around in corrupted dying bodies that are waiting to be remade. And we hope in an everlasting kingdom that while here in a small form is still waiting to be permanently established. So while my wife IS suffering (and you can believe that she is), it is only temporary: the momentary climb up a hill that will ultimately be removed & destroyed in time. And we know that & rest in that hope together according to Romans 5:3-5.

So when you pray for us, please remember that reality & join with us by praying in the same way.

We love you all & are so grateful for your continued prayer & support in this our journey up the hill. Lord bless you according to His will
-Chris & Cindy

Prayer Requests

Please pray for:

* For the boys: During this difficult and trying time there have been lots of changes and adjustments. It has been hard. For Noah to continue to grow in therapy. Also that Noah would quickly adjust to his orthotics.

* For Chris: Patience with the boys and wisdom. He also needs grace in times of loneliness and financial wisdom. He also needs pray for extra strength as he works all day and then comes home and is Mr. Mom.

* For God to provide meals for us on the days we really need it like on chemo days.

* For Cindy: healing and strength. Also against side effects ...loss of appetite, hair loss, mouth sores, neuropathy in her hands & feet and digestion issues. Also for those days when she feels good not to do too much be rest. Also for her emotions to be strong on chemo days. 9 more to go!

* For Cindy's uncle Kurt who is battling stage 4 colon cancer. Pray for his healing and strength!

Family Corner

Here are some recent pictures of our family! Enjoy!!

Daddy & Baby Girl

Rebecca chewing on favorite book

Mommy's new hair w Rebecca

Josiah & his friend Steven