Stephanie Chasing Boston

Having A Strong Support System Means???

2013-05-15T17:37:00.001-07:00

My alarm sounded this morning at the usual time of 4:30 am for me to get up to begin my day. I live a hop and a skip away from my parents so getting my son to his grandparents isn't an issue. Actually the biggest issue I find is getting him up at this hour but he has been doing it for a while now and has become more accustomed to it. I got him down to my Mom's and put him back in bed with her and I scooted up the road for a morning run.

My first thoughts as I began running were of how thankful I was for the support I have now in my life. I went for so many years with little to no support for this love I have and I feel very gracious for the family and friends I have in my life now. As I ran on I continued thinking of how important support actually meant to us, not just single moms but any runner or athlete. When it comes to our training and competition having proper support from friends, family and even teammates can be so powerful in our lives. This is another lesson I have learned the hard way over my years of running and being an athletic woman.

Before the running boom hit like it has now, it was extremely strange to see a woman (OMG, and did I mention a mother) out running at all hours of the day, 4 am, noon, or even at dusk. I lived in a small town when I had my son back then that the majority of the women in this town didn't work out or run and were the normal stay home cook for the hubs and kids kind of mother. They never broke the standards of stepping out of that era. If someone knew you were doing something outside of this mold it was a catastrophe and the rumor mill began. Well, I am happy that I have always had a mind of my own, plus my passion to be active was developed from my near death experience so I never paid much attention to those standards and I broke those boundaries placed on women wide ass open in several different ways.

#1. I was a very active woman, and on top of this I was a power lifter with muscles from head to toe. It was never intimidating for me to walk up in a gym and work out in front of men. There isn't too much in this life that scares me anymore. Then #2, I began running and I ran through my pregnancy. People in this town I can remember would stop me on the road and tell me I should go home with that baby bump! Then after I delivered my son exactly 6 weeks later I knew I wanted to train for my first marathon! When I decided this I knew who I wanted to train me for this race and he was a black man. Well, I was the mom who juggled a job, husband and child to run and train for a race, so support was one thing that didn't come to me that well. I always heard things like "she's running wanting attention" from different people, even my husband at the time and his family. But the love and passion I have for this sport was too deep to let any of that stop me. No one really knew where my passion and drive came from for this sport and I didn't talk of it much at all back then. So my love and passion took me back to this place I am now that has plenty of support.

Having positive support is such an important thing to us runners and everyone really. When I am not running or racing I enjoy volunteering at races or with any sporting event. I do this just to provide fellow athletes with encouragement to help their confidence levels because I know how powerful it is. In fact, when I am injured I have found this to be the best medicine to stay focused and stay involved. When I have people come to me for advice about injuries I always encourage this to them. But any way you can find and keep some support I always recommend it. Surrounding yourself with good people that do not discourage your dreams is a good idea to keep too. One negative comment will discourage anyone, so I try to keep my distance from these types of people. I pay close attention to people and I do not want anyone in my life that will try and throw me off course with anything. I live a positive life and do not want any negative people or things in my life anymore. I have graduated from those stages in my life.

I am very thankful for all the supportive people in my life today. The best advice I can give beginner runners or athletes is to always be cautious of who you bring in your life and find your support system even if its those long runs all alone. The road is the best support I have ever had. It took me along time to realize how to live my life happy but now I that I know this tactic I will not look back....

Training Recap

2013-05-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is my first recap in quite a while. I haven't been doing any strategic training with my running since my marathon. I have raced this year a lot but I was warned by my coach and by a lot of my fitness friends to back off from racing as much to avoid more burnout. I was offered more photo shoot jobs so I focused in on the weightroom more for that. Most of the shoots I did were either a crossfit type shoot and I also did one that was an outdoor magazine type shoot, so they required me to look more buff than normal. Its never been really hard for me to gain muscle when I am diligent with my training in the gym. Now that I have reached this goal when I run I can surely tell why most runners are the lean mean machines they are. From the powerlifting I did at an early age my leg muscles are huge anyway but with the training I have been doing the last few months they have increased in size and I definately feel it on the road. I'm not at all worried about this though I will simply take it down a notch in the gym and back off because I realize I begin my training officially in the next 2 months and this mama is getting down to BIZ this year with training to get to Boston!

My Motivation

2013-05-09T19:34:00.001-07:00

As I am reaching my 20 year anniversary of my nearly fatal car accident on June 4th, I can't help but reflect back through the years on some of the things that I've gone through. I have had some hard lessons but they taught me value in life and I am very grateful that I persisted through those hard times and stood up tall when I was knocked down. I am happy with my life, and I am thankful for each and every event I have had. I do believe every path I've been down has gotten me to the journey I am on today. I have finally found the peace which I looked so long for in other places and it was inside myself the whole time. I've given up all the doubt in my heart and mind and I believe it is because I finally realize those times I had in my past were given to me to make me this strong woman I am now and there is nothing that will shake my foundation.

I am happy for all the people that have walked into my life and also happy for those who have walked out of my life and taught me the lessons I needed to know. I am thankful for the encouragement given over the years from friends, family and also thankful for all the negativity given from people, because it only drove me harder toward my goals in life. I will always believe whatever happens to us in life happens for a reason. When I look at different issues with life or different people suffering or even happy, I have found it to be my best quality to talk and connect with them simply because I can relate to both. I enjoy using my past life as a role model to encourage lives and make the difference they may need. I am most thankful I have finally found this peace and it is realizing that what happens to us in our life doesn't define us, its what I choose to do with it...

Self Love...

2013-05-04T17:45:00.002-07:00

Today I ran across an article a facebook friend of mine wrote that really disturbed me. She spoke of how she developed her drive for life through being ridiculed as a child for being overweight. This lady is a fitness model today and on top of this is an ironman. It has always bothered me so much to hear of anyone going through this especially us women. It is hard enough in my opinion being a woman in this world because we are expected to be perfect and when those perfections aren't met we become very self conscience. It took me reaching rock bottom in life to realize that I'd never be perfect and honestly I cannot say I want to be.

I speak with women and men almost daily who ask me questions or ask me for some type of training advice to lose weight or get fit fast. I do not train people anymore and I am certainly not a qualified dietician or nutritionist so I do not give out much advice on eating. I do however, tell people what I prefer and what works and has worked for me. I have always had trainers and coaches who have assisted me with my diet and training most all of my running career. I can usually tell right away which people who ask me are truly serious about losing weight. A lot of them will just say I will take this pill or that pill that will help me get rid of it. When I hear people say this I automatically think they have no self respect at all.

I spend most of my life in a gym or on a road running. I do not do this to lose weight or even to get big and buff. I do enjoy the way it makes me look but it is a therapy for me which has lead to my happiness. I do not believe that there is a quick fix to fast energy or weight loss. I take this subject serious because I have had loved ones get addicted to pills such as this and it is devastating. One of my best friends is a nutritionist and I remember many years ago running with her and talking over this subject. We always spoke of how against taking a stimulant we were and the side effects they had. But what really upsets me most of taking anything for a quick fix is the pressure some women feel to do this to be perfect. Like the article I read of my friends this morning. Its crazy how another persons opinion will make you do something stupid. Perfection, I have learned is finding a peace inside yourself. I can't say I have always been this way I mentioned it took me years to find this inner peace about myself. Now that I have found my peace I love myself and I could care less the thoughts of others and I recommend every women to find this peace about herself!

Below is an interesting article I asked my friend to write on some stimulants and the different effects they have on your body.

The Edge

Throughout the years, Athletes and fitness enthusiasts have tried to find that one formula to give them an edge against their competitor’s. A runner’s world is no different than any other athlete’s arena. Many competitors strive for perfection in their sport but fail to attain that goal they have set for their self. Day after day they rise early in the morning, put on their shoes and meet daybreak with the sound of their feet kissing the asphalt. They often, run on their lunch break to get in extra miles, instead of having lunch with their friends. They continue in an ongoing training regimen day after day in an effort to become the best in their sport. Unfortunately many athletes do not have the passion, persistent, and determination that is needed to see that success is about overcoming defeat and getting back up after you have been knocked down. As a result many athletes look for outside external means to create an edge for them in their sport. Many runners and athletes have tried a wide variety of stimulants in hopes of giving them that edge to help improve physical function and their mental state. Today I would like to address one commonly used stimulant for weight loss (Phentermine, adipex) that many runners and athletes use to gain an edge. Many athletes often feel they have hit a brick wall and unfortunately instead of redesigning their routine they take a stimulant to lose more weight so they will perform better. However this drug (adipex, phentermine), does not come without its risks and side effects.

* Shortness of breath, even with mild exertion

* Chest pain that can lead to syncope in some individuals

* Swelling in your feet and ankles

* Pounding of the heart or fluttering in your chest

* Confusion, irritability, unusual thoughts or behavior

* Sense of euphoria-which does not allow the athlete to train safely.

* Dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure). These are some of the more severe side effects that one may experience while on these stimulants, (diet pills, adipex or phentermine). Some of the less serious side effects of phentermine are as follows:

* Feeling restless of hyperactive(active people often over train while they are using this stimulant)

* Headache, dizziness, tremors

* Sleep problems (insomnia)

* Dry mouth or an unpleasant taste in your mouth

* Diarrhea or upset stomach or gastrointestinal problems

* Increase or decrease interests in sex or even impotence with prolong use in some individuals.

There have been several documented cases of cardiovascular problems with individuals on diet stimulants. I would like to mention a few of these cases that were documented in a study on this type of stimulants.

* A young 37 year old woman admitted to the hospital after an episode of ventricular fibrillation. The patient was on being treated for mild weight issues and was taking phentermine. Her past medical history was flawless and it was suspected that her nearly fatal arrhythmia was attributed to the phentermine that she was taking.

* A 29 year old woman whom had only been taking the phentermine for 23 days developed fatal pulmonary hypertension. She did not smoke and no other health issues were listed.

In conclusion, I would like to state that there is no substitution for appropriate training and proper nutrition. However some athletes fail to acknowledge this and may turn to stimulants in search of the edge. Perhaps they feel they have obtained all they can from proper food intake, proper training and look for some help in dropping a few pounds to help them cut a few seconds off their mile. I would ask this athlete or fitness enthusiast to ask to ask their self-three questions:

* Is it safe

* Do the benefits outweigh the risks

* What are the long term Side effects

I am an avid runner and fitness enthusiast and wellness coach. I personally, have hit the brick wall on more than one occasion. Consequently, I reevaluated more diet, my training regime and my lifestyle stressors. I came to the conclusion that I could change and play around with these factors a lot safer than any drug or stimulant that was out there.

In the event that you hit a brick wall, or do not win the race that you train so hard to win. Remember we, become stronger from picking ourselves up when we fall down and sometimes we just have to climb over these walls with different techniques! God Speed to all the athletes and runners and when you hit the wall - try changing up your diet, your training technique, or training intensity- this trio will give you a much safer edge and a much greater reward.

Cyndee C. Smallwood

Valdosta B.S. Exercise Physiology

Certified Wellness Coach and owner 3-DBody-WorksFitnessTrainingLLC cyndeesmallwood@gmail.com 229-3255655

References:

NASM: Fourth Edition (Editors, Michael A. Clark, Scott C. Lucett, Brian G. Sutton) “ Wolters Kluwer “ Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Essentials of Strength Training and Conditioning: Second Edition (Thomas R. Baechle, Roger W. Earle)

ESPN.com Special-“Drugs and Sports”

Drugs.com-“Phentermine Side Effects”

Fear Not

2013-04-30T08:49:00.003-07:00

I FEARED…

I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself…

I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don’t try…

I feared success
Until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself…

I feared people’s opinions
Until I learned that people will have opinions about me anyway

I feared rejection
Until I learned to have faith in myself…

I feared pain
Until I learned that it’s necessary for growth…

I feared the truth
Until I saw the ugliness of lies…

I feared life
Until I experienced its beauty…

I feared my destiny
Until I reaized I had the power to change my life…

I feared hate
Until I realized it was nothing more than ignorance…

I feared love
Until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days…

I feared ridicule
Until I learned how to laugh at myself…

I feared getting old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day…

I feared the future
Until I realized that life just kept getting better…

I feared the past
Until I realized it could no longer hurt me…

I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty of the starlight…

I feared the light
Until I learned that the truth would give me so much strength…

I feared change
Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly…

What doesn't kill me...

2013-04-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

The quote what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is very inspirational and true for my life. I have experienced some life changing events as most people have, but I always said I would not let any of those break my spirit and make me a bitter person. When I began my marathon training years ago for my first marathon I started opening up more about the events I had experienced with my running coach. I truly can remember the exact road we were on when I told him I had been in a coma for two months as a child. He looked at me in disbelief and I told him I was serious, so we spoke more of it. I said to him Frank I know there has to be a reason I am still around after being that close to death. He said to me your purpose will slowly emerge to you Stephanie as you put one foot in front of the other and continue following your heart...

Those words he said to me have been more clear since this Boston tragedy. I have always believed in the saying everything happens in life for one reason or another. I'm not sure why anything like a bomb at the most prestigious marathon in the world, The Boston Marathon would happen. But I do ultimately believe I was in that location for a reason. Because as you may know my passion for Boston runs deep. I have had those roads of that marathon on my mind and in my heart for so many years. My passion is so strong simply because I have overcome so many obstacles and I believe it would be fantastic for someone like me to qualify to run a beautiful race such as this one. So when this happened this day my heart has poured out for those victims, and my mind has been working overdrive on how we should all unit and help with this.

I believe every single thing I have been through in my life has lead me to this today. I also believe the people I have come in contact with through this journey has lead me to this exact place. In my life I have gone through seasons where I longed to find my true purpose or even establish it. But I see it clearly now that this pain I went through so long ago has lead me to help these runners and innocent victims of this tragedy that day. These people's lives have completely been changed and they need emotional financial and physical help maybe the rest of their lives. I feel a bond to these people because I have experienced this same life changing event. I know that unknowing feeling, I remember those sleepless nights and those long days of wheeling around in a wheelchair at the age of 14. Most of all I remember those feelings of not knowing if I would ever be able to walk again.

All of these emotions have helped me work together with a group of people to develop a race and focus on raising money for this cause. I speak to people a lot of a push I have felt in my life to get things done, and I can say I have never felt this push more than I feel it now. The simple fact that I have a love for Boston so dearly and relating to the pain and suffering these people are going through shows me my purpose...

Remembering But Appreciating...

2013-04-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

As I listen to the news, read reports and see photos of innocent victims of Boston they all speak a thousand words to me.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember the challenges I had which some of these victims are about to embark on. I can still see those hospital walls. I remember the long sleepless nights praying and wondering. I recall that feeding tube in my stomach and not being able to drink fluids because of the tube in my throat for so long, and even speaking in a whisper because of that tube. I can still remember the looks on everyone's face when they would see me broken down sitting in a wheelchair not able to walk anymore. Most of all I remember hearing "Stephanie we are building you ramps at home for your wheelchair" as if I should be happy.

These challenges tested my courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. It was these tests that gave me the strength and never give up attitude I can share with people now. It is said that what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. To me that means digging deep in my soul and realizing the person I am today would not exist if I had not had the courage to face those challenges. I strongly believe everything in our lives happen for a reason and sometimes it means we must face difficult obstacles to discover who we really are.

My memories are still heartbreaking to me, but they have become a priceless treasure I cherish and appreciate. They enable me to continue this journey in life and fulfill my purpose. I've had a life full of lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys and many special moments. All of this has ultimately led me to the destination which I know now is my true purpose in life and those innocent victims will reach their point as well...

Finding your strong...

2013-04-18T20:45:00.002-07:00

Looking back on my life I realize now how I lived most of my childhood and adolescence dazed and stressed to the max. I have mentioned many times how I was always so concerned of the opinions of people and worried of everything. When I came home from my accident I felt so different from everyone. Let me first say I did suffer a brain injury from my car accident. I was hit on the right side of my head and it affected my whole left side. I also lost oxygen to my brain from a sever lung injury. This is what caused me to fall into a coma for so long.

A brain injury affects who we are, the way we think, act, and feel. It can change everything about us. This is what I believe made my nerves so bad all the time. Not to mention I was only 14 years old and I had experienced a life changing event most people would never live through. Now that I am a 34 year old woman and I have experienced so much more I see now how I dealt with what I have always told people was complete crap, post traumatic stress syndrome. It makes so much sense to me that I was going through all this, but when I went through my horrible divorce I didn't deal with that problem. Of course I worried all the time because I had weeks I would have to go hungry because I had no money at all to eat. Even when I received those notices of foreclosure for the home my son and I were living in I didn't go through that issue only a horrible type of worry but my strength would always kick in for me.

I believe every person finds their strength in life in different ways. For me my strength and determination was initially developed at an early age by having to fight for my life. Then finding the determination within myself to get out of a wheelchair and learn to walk. But we all find strength at different stages and times in our lives. After coming home from Boston and relaxing and getting back into the grind of my life I have began having signs of this post traumatic stress syndrome again. I never would have believed after everything I have lived through in my life I would develop this again and I wasn't even involved in the area of seeing anyone hurt. The memories I have of that day are becoming more and more vivid to me now. I have had dreams of the sound I heard in that food court, and the people screaming! I didn't go through this too much when I was younger although I did have dreams for years of things my mom later told me was what was happening when I was in ICU. My dreams lately are of pushing people up the road and hearing them ask what's going on what's going on???? I keep feeling that heartbreak for those innocent people doing what I love and they loved. But most of all I can't get the fact that I stood directly across from the store that was blown up off my mind. Its all been such a shocker for me is all I can say.

Dealing with this I have been spending all the time I can with my son. I believe we all have the capacity not just to survive something traumatic like this, but to overcome and thrive. So I have took this week off from work and I have been meditating, reading and doing some running. I have taken off from my routine from the gym because I am not ready to deal with any big crowds yet. I have made plans to go back to Atlanta this weekend and participate in a race on Sunday to help me get my mind together more. Plus I have some excellent running friends there that I want to see and spend some time with.

To end my entry I'd like to say I believe the resilience of the human spirit is amazing and I have maintained my spirit through many different obstacles and this is only one more of those hurdles for me to jump and it will only make me stronger and more determined to get where I want to go...

Survival of Boston 2013

2013-04-17T19:53:00.002-07:00

Rushing to the streets to help runners, my eyes stared vacantly in disbelief. Is this actually happening today at The Boston Marathon? Here I am at mile 25.5 pushing runners in the opposite direction of their dream, The Boston Marathon Finish Line. Was this really happening?????????

It was an awesome marathon monday in Boston as well as Patriots day. The weather was excellent unlike the race of 2012 when it was unseasonably hot and runners were falling out everywhere. The girls I were with were up and ready to brave the race they had worked so hard for. As I got up my heart pounded with excitement and joy. I was finally in Boston at the race that has been my dream and I had my heart set on for so long. Although I wasn't going to be running it I would be able to experience what it was all about. I would be witnessing the oldest and most prestigious annual marathon in the world.

I met a friend for coffee and breakfast and we headed out toward the finish line. The elite women had been running at that time and they were expected to come in soon so I wanted to see this and get some photos. We stood, watched and cheered as these unbelievable athletes ran through the all famous Boston Marathon Finish Line. We were standing in the bleachers beside the finish line area and across the street from The Marathon Sports Store for about an hour and a half cheering and snapping pictures of runners that were coming in from the first wave. We decided to move up the road a little to around mile 25.5 and cheer from there some of the later waves that were coming through.

After a while we went a block over to The Prudential Center Food Court for a late lunch. As we both sat there eating pizza and talking we heard a boom. Most of the people in the food court ran to the windows to see what just happened. It sounded as though two cars had just collided. Then 10 seconds later another boom but this one was much louder and I will say is the most harsh sounding thing I've ever heard in my lifetime. The whole food court of people stampeded! I witnessed kids screaming running and some even trampled over. I had to jump over a table to make it out to my friend. We immediately ran back to the road we were standing at prior. My mind was frantic at this point, I had no idea the location of any of the girls I were with and my heart pounded because both ladies are mothers to beautiful children. With the next few steps toward the road more people that I knew who were out on that trail came to my mind! Oh my gosh, my running coach whom I love dearly was out there, then my good friend Scott and Mike. I was at a loss for words and all I could do was weep, but I knew I should be strong and help those runners approaching mile 25.5. As runners got closer to us they were not aware of the situation that was happening. We had to push them and direct them in the opposite way of their dream, The Boston Marathon Finish Line.

When all the military, swat team, police, and fire department started taking over things we returned nearby to my friends motel. My mind was still in disbelief and I was at such a loss for words. This was the marathon of all marathons for us runners. The oldest and most prestigious, the one we work our hardest to get to and it should be the happiest time in our lives! We sat in the lobby of that motel for hours and the swat team had the whole place surrounded so we were safe. There were runners with their families and the media and a lot of the spectators. We sat watching a big screen television replay the horrible scenes of what should have been a happy day. I sat there mostly by myself gathering all my thoughts. Thoughts of how I was standing in the location of the place it happened for an hour and a half, thoughts of that Jacksonville Bank Marathon I bonked at around mile 16 and didn't get my qualifications for Boston this year, but most of the thoughts I had were the expression on the faces of those runners I was pushing away from their 26.2. It was so heartbreaking to me to have to be a part of this. Boston is my dream, it is something I have in my heart to accomplish and it means the world to me so I could relate to the pain on their faces when they heard us saying go the opposite way.

The next morning my flight was to leave at 1:45 p.m. so I had time to wander the streets of Boston and see what it was like after the terror from the day before. Bostlyn street was completely taped off and closed down with military guarding it. The media was everywhere in the park. I snapped some photos and stood in the park watching Lester Holt of The Today Show give an interview. All of the media stations were there doing the same interviews, I gave one or two but did my best to stay away and just witness all of it. At 11:30 I headed back to my motel and got a cab to the airport to finally head home. On the ride to the airport the importance of all of this weekends events became clear to me. We never know what the next second in life will be. My passion has been running and networking running and races for many years. I have a true love for this sport. This experience helped me realize how much I really do love Boston and want to run this race and see that finish line one day. Every runner who has designated their time, energy and then let their determination and passion drive them to a qualification into such a beautiful historical race like Boston I believe deserves the chance to run across that finish line.

This tragedy kept a lot of runners from accomplishing their dream. But us runners are stubborn people I hear so often. This will only make us stronger at heart and drive us to get there next year and we will be running with much more passion and purpose....

Reaching that point in life...

2013-04-10T13:50:00.001-07:00

This past weekend I spent my time in Atlanta with a friend of mine and we had plans of participating in a modeling fitness expo. This was my first modeling experience I have done and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I worked with some other models that were really cool girls and guys. I have to mention I was the only non-triathlete of all these models, so it was slightly intimidating. Because I have never put on any type of swimming or biking gear. The first outfit I was to model was hidious to me. Not to mention it felt too sizes too small, but I put it on and glanced over to Blair another model and said holy cow this is too small what do I do? She said its perfect, it is supposed to be like this. She reassured me over and over that everything was good. She made it clear that at this point in life everything should be good.

The events went great and I had such a blast. On my ride back home I couldn't help but think back to what Blair mentioned to me. I have always been told I would reach that point in life and now that I am a 30 something year old woman I can happily say I have reached this point and it is nice. I am happy I do not worry all the time over the opinions of people and I have that drive in life to get out and do as I please. I will be doing as I please this weekend because Friday I have an awesome photo shoot in Atlanta with many different photographers. This is exciting for me because I will be doing canoeing, kayaking and hiking shots. All which are different and new to me. Then after my shoot I will go and stay with a friend back in Atlanta and then off to Boston I go! As Boston gets closer for me I get more and more excited for the friends I have running it! I'm suprised I haven't felt the least bit sad I will not be participating too. I expected I would but something has come over me the past 6 or so months that I just know in my heart it will happen eventually for me and theres no need to be sad. I look forward to this weekend and I know its going to be so much fun!

Making plans...

2013-04-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been doing some hard gym training to get prepared for some pictures I have and an expo I will be modeling at. I have cut back on my mileage of running tremendously so all this energy I had for running has been put in the gym. My goal I am shooting for is to look most like a triathlete I can by Sunday's event I have going on. I have been training 2 to 3 times daily, and honestly this type of training hasn't been nearly as hard for me as when I was focusing in on marathon training with speed work and long runs. But either way I have this goal in my mind and I will achieve this!

I met with my running coach tonight in Tifton for dinner to go over our strategies we have for The Boston Marathon that is next weekend. We fly out for Boston next week and he will be running the marathon. I will be joining he and some other friends of mine, which are running it. I plan to work with my Saucony Team and I have made many arrangements to meet and greet different people in the running industry. I have my week planned out before I head to Boston though. I am most excited that I will be meeting with another amputee child tomorrow afternoon. This child is a triathlete who has many accomplishments under her belt. I've been doing some research on determination of athletes and survivors and wanted to meet her and talk for a story I am working on. A wonderful friend of mine that I have just recently gotten to know has been working with me on this project. He is also an amputee; in fact he is the first Ironman double amputee in the world. I have also gotten his story of determination to succeed with this sport, which is amazing.

I meet with Mei Mei, this awesome child on Friday afternoon and I cannot wait to talk with her to get her story.

Taking it back to where it started

2013-04-02T18:16:00.002-07:00

My training has taken a different step lately. I mentioned I would be putting my running schedules on hold for a few weeks to do more weight training for some events I have coming up. My modeling event will be this weekend so I have been really putting in the time at my gym and I am actually enjoying this different type of training for a change. This training I am doing right now is a training I began doing way back in my younger days. I still incorporate short runs in my week but my mileage has been cut tremendously and I can honestly say I feel a huge difference in my energy levels. I believe this break will help me with the burnout I usually go through. Before I started any of this I consulted with my running coach and got an ok with him and he advised me then that it would be good for me to do this. I'm not sure exactly why I go through the burnout like I do but it hasn't been as bad on me this year as it was in previous years.

A few reasons I know I have gone through it this time is because I worked so much through my marathon training this past year. This caused me to miss out on needed rest and I also did way too much weight training. I have decided that when I begin my next marathon training schedule I will put my whole heart in it and focus on nothing else but Boston. So this break is helping me to achieve the work I know that I have to get done before mid July training. My focus until then is going to be on light running and the weight training, and it is such a nice change of pace for me.

The next few projects I will have will be a photo shoot next week the day before my flight out to Boston. I feel very excited and happy that I get to go to Boston this year and experience things and meet with the people of my Saucony Team. Most of all I look forward to supporting the good friends I have that are running and of course getting to spend some time with my running coach and his family. This is going to be a great experience for me and I can't wait to get there!

Recovery

2013-03-25T18:35:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have learned a lesson or so on this topic. I like most everyone else began my running with that spunk of enthusiasm that I could take on the world day after day without concentrating on certain important aspects of the sport. Because I mean come on aren't we made to do this stuff? Well, then came my shin splints from improper shoes, feeling totally depleted from my runs because I didn't hydrate properly or replenish glycogen during those longer runs. Then came the stress fracture, the dog bite, and my list goes on and on...

These days I handle things a lot differently than before. I still have a lot of enthusiasm for running and training for my marathons I just handle things better now that I have learned a few lessons. I have spoke before of the terrible burnout I go through sometimes. I have to carefully monitor my training and all my activities very precisely to avoid this. I have learned that success in all the endurance events I'm participating with has less to do with my ability in handling them and a lot more of how I focus and concentrate mentally on them.

With that being said, I have decided to take a small pause from my training for the marathon to focus on a few new goals I now have. This helps me break the cycle of burnout and lets my body have a small rest. The new goals require me to do weight training like I have always done but I am only working with a few weeks so I have had to step things up and talk with a trainer. Over the years I have learned when I break from my hectic running schedule it helps so much both mentally and physically and I look at this as a form of my own type of recovery.

Recap

2013-03-18T13:56:00.002-07:00

I haven't done any training recaps since my marathon. My training hasn't really changed so much from when I was focusing on the marathon. I still do my long runs and manage a speed day in per week with tempo runs as well. I have been doing my crossfit type classes up until this past week. I met with one of my running coaches who told me to back off of those if I wanted to focus in on the speed. But this past weekend I did have a few different type opportunities arise that will change my focus for my running for a months.

I took this past week completely off from the crossfit classes at my gym. I felt my body needed the rest and I also felt the need to reacquaint myself with my dirt roads I run on and to have some meditation time. I planned my running schedule for two 10-mile runs with a rest day then another ten mile run. I did a half marathon in Atlanta yesterday as a training run at a slow steady pace because it is extremely hilly in that area, so my total mileage for the week averaged out to be 43 miles.

Other than running, last week I was contacted by a magazine that wanted to do a photo shoot with me. I emailed the lady back who contacted me, and set up a time for the shoot. This shoot is going to be the second week of April right before I leave for Boston. I was also contacted a few days later by a company in Atlanta about doing some modeling of their sports wear for a multi sports expo that will be held the first week of April. I had lunch with the organizer on Saturday in Atlanta and went over all the details of the event. It's exciting that I have had these opportunities arise and since they have I have had to reevaluate my running plans.

I have been strategically planning to train hard and run another marathon before September of this year to get into The Boston Marathon 2014. But with the miles I have been doing and the racing I have done I feel my body does need more rest. I have decided that I will do another marathon and if it is before September that is fine but I will not stress if I do not get one and will just focus on 2015. I am going to enjoy my training and this new type of working I will be doing. I will have to restructure my training for these new things but I can handle this and I look forward to doing it all because I know this will open many different doors for me. I am thankful for everything that is happening in my life. I will continue to keep my eyes set on my goals and maintain a positive attitude no matter what may occur.

Words of wisdom: I've learned that ......

2013-03-11T09:20:00.001-07:00

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my mama, and I'm kinda happy about it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Can you really have it all...

2013-03-10T10:50:00.002-07:00

Finding a balance in life is a realistic and important goal for me since I am a single mom. Because at times everything in my life feels out of control all at once. When everything happens like this I like to take it all back to where it initially began for me, the road...

This weekend was an exciting weekend even though I decided against going to a big race in Jacksonville FL I have always wanted to do. I did get to visit my old running stomping grounds of Fitzgerald GA to run and chat with my first running coach Mr. Frank McLeod. Running with Frank is good therapy for me because he is so knowledgeable of this sport and also so familiar with my ailments I deal with. As we ran he immediately told me what he thought my issues were, and of course it was the big word I hear a lot of "OVERTRAINING". After he said it I knew he was right on, like most of the other people I talk with are. But I shrugged it off and continued talking of things happening in our lives. I was chatting away of the activities I was doing and all the plans I had made and he stopped me and said Stephanie the writing is on the wall here, you can read it or ignore it! This is leading to an emotional burnout and you have been through these in the past so what is it you really want most? Do you want this Boston dream? He continued and said you have too many goals you are trying to achieve all at once, take one step at a time and focus and things will work out as planned.

When he said all this to me I sunk down in my chest and began to actually realize the point he was making. My love is running and my big goal is Boston. I have just got to refocus in and concentrate on what I want the most and I know what I want and always have. I do see the writing on this wall. I have had different types of negative energy arise in some areas of the places I have been putting too much of my focus, so I believe this is a type of sign for me to back off from that training a while. I spoke to him of this and he agreed with me and said you can take this sign or leave it but its going to lead to another disappointment if you do not refocus in on what you initially started with.

Running and qualifying for Boston is my passion I started with! It has been for so long because I feel it would be fantastic for me to accomplish this when I lived two months of my life so close to death and struggled so hard to get my ass out of that wheelchair and walk again!! This will happen for me its going to take me refocusing in on my training regimen back to those roads I love and I know I can do this...

How running has changed my life...

2013-03-05T12:08:00.001-08:00

As a child growning up in small town Georgia I have spent most of my life feeling insecure and not good enough for anything I've ever tried. I developed an aweful complex at an early age after my accident because I was different from everyone. It was until I began running that I learned so much about other people and about myself as well. I have compiled a list of ways running has changed my life for the good...

1. I have fallen in love with myself again! For me most of my life I've spent demanding perfection for myself and of course falling short and feeling inadequate. In my opinion in todays world people think you aren't supposed to love yourself and after a failed marraige and having to move back home with my folks I really felt this. Running through these different times in my life provided meditation for me. I had to think of what really made me, and my running redefined me. Those runs I did alone after brutal fights I would have when I was married or the times I ran to clear my head from all the bills I had stacked up wondering just how I was going to get by, was therapy. It helped me accept the fact I was imperfect and things were not always going to go the way I planned and it was ok. Most of all I learned to love yourself first and everything else falls into line...

2. Running helped me let go. All my life I have been THE worrier! I worried about anything or everything until now. Now I practice a sense of everything will be alright in the end and if not its not the end. It is a horrible way to live your life when its full of worry believe me when I say that because I know first hand!

3. I learned to eliminate self criticism and laugh at myself more often. I like most people have a ton of flaws, and I always have had that little voice in my mind telling me no you can't or you look terrible. I learned to accept the words "I CAN" and I wake up every day and say this hard work is paying off for you Steph and this is gonna happen. I no longer critize myself when I do not win races or when I do not hit my goal times in training. I laugh and say I will try again tomorrow...

4. I have learned to be kind and positive through most all circumstances. I was raised to always be nice and the bigger person with issues. Although I haven't always practiced this stategy, I have learned to let many things roll off my shoulders that the old me would never have done. Since I have been doing my running networking I do experience the regular people that try to break my spirit. I handle these situations now days with a smile and a positive manner, because I know I deserve this to happen for me and I am the one who has done all this hard work. I refuse to let anyone rain on my parade anymore so I will not let petty simple minded people bother me or break my focus. I've learned that its more their own issues and not mine...

5. My running has helped me grow spiritually in so many ways. I can remember in my early running years always talking to my running coach of this. Those long runs by myself were so peaceful and nuturing to my mind. I prayed, meditated and could focus on my day. There would be mornings my running coach and I would pray together even. He always referred to his running as his church. Running by myself while I was facing some hard times in my life gave me the courage to rely on my faith and today its unbreakable...

6. I learned to express gratitude with everyone even myself. This is something I was raised to do, always thank everyone for their help. I had to really work on the gratitude among myself, but now I cultivate an appreciation for my strengths and the gifts that I was blessed with. After I shared my tragic experiences of my car accident with the public I have found expressing gratitude toward myself isn't as hard. I get messages from people almost daily of their struggles and how they overcame their hardships, and some are Ironmen, some are marathon runners, ultra marathon runners and even cancer patients. But all of them are athletes like myself who have defied the odds! When I hear from athletes like this it gives me more passion for this sport as well as respect, and I am grateful I can be an inspiration for someone.

7. Running has lead me to my dreams... I have always considered myself a dreamer. Over the past two years I can say I have had more of my dreams come true than in any other time in my life. I believe that every single thing I've been through and every moment I have come through were all to prepare me for what is happening for me now. I have kept my mind on my goals without letting obstacles that have come up break my focus.

8. Running has helped me relax and not be so competitive in life. Most people who know me think, what is she talking about? Because I am an overtrainer, but I met someone last year who taught me the importance of this whole part of running. Also a pulled muscle in training in 2012 taught me a thing or two on it as well. Plus over the years I did learn an important thing about running and life, the overcompetitive type runner or person leads to self destruction! I deal with overcompetitive people on a daily basis. But after a failed marrage due to infidelity and many hard lessons in my running life, I learned to compete with no one but myself because it does lead to feeling inadequate and I am a champion!

9. Running has helped me learn to see beauty. Since I have been doing my networking I have met people of all races, color, shapes, sizes, you name it. But when I meet these people I see one thing in them and its love and passion for this sport. I learned at an early age that belittling someone and calling them names does nothing for your character. I learned this from an older sister who picked on me for everything, so I grew up with the mindset that it isn't fun to belittle someone else. I quit putting other people down, I hate critisizim. I enjoy complimenting people when I see they are doing good, or if I see a beautiful person I never minded giving compliments. Everyone loves to be recognized for hard work or beauty, its just a fact.

10. Most of all running redefined my life by helping me find the strong woman that I am. After hitting the wall in Jacksonville this past December and feeling so let down. I realized my Boston Chase was not going to be a peice of cake. When I felt my legs cramping up and my breathing began getting hard I knew I was done, but I refused to not finish that race. I knew I had faced so many struggles a lot more difficult than this and I would have to be dead to be taken off of that trail. I have realized that I am going to have to dig deep inside of me and recall that stregnth I had that got me out of that wheelchair, or got me out of that marraige and got me to where I am at today.... I HAVE GOT THIS!!!!

Enjoying the journey...

2013-03-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

Today I had the opportunity to run my long run with The Albany Marathon. I did only 16 miles of this run for my training. After I got my 16 miles in the main thing on my mind was getting to that finish line to see my running coach Mike Beeman come across for his first 26.2 since a terrible injury. I speak of my coach often because Mike is one of the great pioneers of running. He has stats that are unbelievable! Not to mention he is from my favorite place the Boston area and has ran The Boston Marathon 36 times in his life. So I do have so many reasons to admire him. I met with Mike for dinner the other night to go over my running and training like we do every two weeks. Mike began talking to me about being able to do this marathon and as he spoke I could feel the passion he had for this sport. The joy that radiated as he spoke of completing this run in what he suspected to be a five hour time limit was amazing for me to hear. I told him that too, and he said you see Stephanie the irony of this is that all these accomplishments, trophies, and successes have brought me a lot of joy. But the past few months interacting with my children, friends and having to relearn and refocus on my true passion has really brought me the most joy. As I listened to him saying all this I understood completely what he was talking about. He then reminded me that the journey I was taking should be enjoyed and not so stressed.

My journey for Boston began a few years ago but it has been a clear vision in my mind for many many years. Last marathon season I trained extremely hard and took my first shot at it. I crashed and burned at around mile 16 but I have kept my dream alive in my mind. I have different stategies I have come up with to keep myself upbeat and focused to enjoy this more. I like to surround myself with people that share this same interest, or I get involved in Boston qualifying races. The race I did yesterday was a Boston Qualifier and it was absolutely amazing for me to actually see runners achieve their dream! I caught myself tearing up a time or two as I congratulated some of these runners. Doing this helps me in many ways I have discovered. With all the training I do plus working I go through burnout, mental and physical. This is one way I have found to help me deal with it and still train and enjoy my journey.

Running is my true passion but when I am not involved with the running of races it is a real joy for me to be a part of the events in any way I can. Most of all witnessing different people achieve their goals and overcoming struggles such as Mike has. I like to be a part of it because I can relate to it all. I try to reach out to and encourage other runners in every way I can because I know first hand that whether it is a negative or a positive reaction you give it makes such a large difference to people. For example, as I was running yesterday I had a guy make a comment to me about my limp he said it in a condescending way which immediately broke my focus. I didn't wish to be running near a negative person that would do that. This type of behavior in my opinion toward other athletes or just anyone is unnecessary, and I keep my distance from people I can feel are looking to break my spirit. This is another stategy I have to help me enjoy my journey. Because I have found that when you radiate true passion for something you come in contact with people who do not understand their own joys in life so they try and take over yours or drag you down. But bad mouthing people doesn't give anyone any extra advantage I have learned. So I try not to do it very often and especially be around those that do.

This year I refuse to not enjoy everything about my training journey. Although I go through that terrible burnout from hard training and racing I am happy I have figured out how to deal with this and push through it! Like my Bman has taught me I will enjoy my year by getting a grip on this hectic schedule and enjoy every part of it...

What do you really stand for...

2013-02-28T13:52:00.000-08:00

There comes a time in our lives we all decide or figure out exactly who we are and what it is we truely stand for. Truth is, we all take a stand when we make any choice in life between whats right, despite our fears or our insecurities. This topic has been on my mind for a while because the past two years I faced some big fears of my own with making decisions. I can say I dug deep in my heart and found the courage to overcome many insecurities I had.

In my opinion it takes us all a little while to understand really who we are but most importantly to me its always been about what you really stand for. My determination and will has been what I have stood strongest for all my life. This determination built by tragedy and hard lessons in life fuel my drive to succeed and reach my goals. I'm proud I can say, I have always stood my ground and walked my own path. Although I do remember a time when I used to be OVERLY influenced by others to a point where I couldn’t decide what or how to do things fully on my own. I have spoke before of some hard roads that broke me of that dependancy and today I am a very independent woman! I do come across people daily that I have to wonder how in the world they got this far in life, and when I meet people like this I always wonder since they are so dependant on other things what exactly in do they stand for? So I guess my question I am asking is what makes you go further in life? What lights that fire in your heart to do what you love each and every day.

I was asked a few weeks ago by a film company what ignited my determination for life. I shared with them my story of the greatest challenge I remember experiencing at such a young age that initially ignited this steer determination I have:

After coming out of a coma, I was placed in a rehab. I remember clearly like it was yesterday sitting in front of that nurses station waiting to be taken to therapy. I looked around and realized at that point where I was and that I was sitting in a wheelchair, I'm not sure if I was coming off of the medicines but I unhooked my wheelchair belt and tried to get up out of that chair and fell to the floor! This was the day I said I will not end up this way I will not live the rest of my life this way! When I run now I see that vision in my mind like it was yesterday! I can happily say today I am a marathon runner and I am working on my Boston Qualification and I will NEVER GIVE UP on anything and that anything in this life is possible and I am living proof of this!

This is what I stand for every day of my life. I proudly stand for being the survivor, the single mother, the hard worker, and most of all the runner!

Incredibly Inspirational Person

2013-02-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned before I was going to introduce some inspiring people to you on my blog monthly. I'm writing this entry tonight filled with so many intense emotions. This has to be one of the hardest entries I've written so far. I speak of cancer survivors often because I have the most respect for them in the fact I relate to a lot of the emotions and some of the pain that they go through. The struggle of dealing with near death or proving to everyone that you are still normal. It's never easy hearing how your life will turn out, so I have always felt this closer bond with cancer patients and cancer survivors. Tonight I had the opportunity to meet one of my fans. An eight year old girl who wanted to meet me after reading my blog. She is no ordinary little girl. Her name is Sarah and she is an 8 year old who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 5. Michael, Sarah's dad who is a photographer emailed me last month and said Sarah wanted to meet me and have fitness photos made with me because I inspired her. I couldn't understand at first why it was so important to her then Michael went on to tell me Sarah had her leg removed recently because of cancer. I immediately scheduled a photo shoot with him when I heard this.

My experience tonight has taught me exactly how important it is to share my courage and strength, because it was helping inspire the life of someone as special as Sarah. What I had gone through was really nothing compared to the struggle she dealt with and will have to deal with the rest of her life. Seeing her tonight missing her left leg made me think of all the times I have complained because I have a bad left leg. I am always joking how I want to cut it off, then seeing this child tonight missing her left leg I had to hold back my tears. All I could say to myself was how stupid can you be Stephanie for saying something like that. But Sarah was so spunky and humble, all she could do was think of flexing her six pack and her guns for our photos. She got so excited when I gave her a Survivor top to wear like mine and then I gave her one of my what she called cool looking Saucony shoes to wear which she loved. She really reminded me so much of myself in many ways.

This was a great experience and I feel honored to have been contacted by her. I am so proud of her accomplishments and I feel she will excel in life because of her strength to beat those odds and she kicked ass and did it at such a young age. This experience for me will be something I will always remember and cherish. I asked Sarah's dad Michael to submit me a bio on her and it is enclosed below.

Sarah is the youngest of my three daughters. In November 2009, when she was 5 years old she began complaining of knee pains. After four months and four doctors, we discovered in March 2010, she actually had Ewing's Sarcoma (bone cancer) in her upper left femur. She began chemo treatments and and then in August 2010, she had the upper half of her left femur replaced with a metal piece. She continued chemo until December 2009. She was then pronounced cancer free.

Soon afterwards, her left femur slipped out of the hip joint and suffered until November 2011. Not only had her femur slipped out of the hip socket, it actually blew out the top of the hip socket. She had to have the metal implant replaced and have her hip socket rebuilt. This included breaking her pelvis and using bone chips to rebuild the socket. After this, she was both cancer free and pain free.

All was well until September 2012 when she began complaining of knee pain again. Sure enough the cancer had returned and in the same bone. This time in the lower left femur. The doctors tried a new chemo drug this time. After a couple of months it was determined the chemo was not effective so amputation was our only option. When we told Sarah that she would lose her entire left leg, she cried her heart out for about 20 minutes. Her sisters, Emily and Karen then came into the room and told her about fake legs. They went to the computer, got on YouTube and 5 minutes later she was laughing and picking out which style and color she wanted.

On January 7, 2013 Sarah had her left leg removed. Five days after surgery, she was swinging on the monkey bars at church. While Sarah has had some problems with phantom pains, she has never been bothered about only having one leg. We do not treat her as handicapped and she does not see herself any different from anyone else. She gets along fine on her crutches and never complains. Sarah is a very happy child and has a strong spirit, and I believe this spirit is what pulled her through to survive cancer.

Be Unbreakable

2013-02-09T03:52:00.000-08:00

This week has been really exciting for me. I had another dream of mine finally come true that I've been working extremely hard to achieve. I've been working this past year to today to get some sponsorships. I was contacted by Saucony this week to be a part of The Saucony Team! This is really ironic too because I have felt as if I was already a Saucony Rep. I say this because whenever anyone asks my opinion of shoes I always highly recommend their shoes. I have to brag on myself slightly here saying I work like a slave daily to accomplish this dream I have. I felt this push inside of me last year and since I felt this I have worked endlessly.

As my dreams are coming together I have people in my life that try to break my spirit. I'm not one to waist too much time worrying on this, however I have been thinking about it a lot lately. When someone achieves something so great and they really have worked hard at it they deserve such respect in my opinion. Today hard work and achieving personal goals are very hard to come by. When I have those type of negative people around me I immediately in my mind go back to times in my life when my spirit should have been broken. There was a time in my life when I struggled through an aweful divorce with a child and I faced loosing my home with no money for food, diapers, much less the bills and my spirit stood strong through that and pulled out of it. Then most importantly I go back to those hospital days when I layed in that bed and didn't sleep for a solid month because I had been in a coma for two months of my life and all I could do was pray to walk and be normal again! So my best advice to anyone is always stand strong and be unbreakable to any negativity in life. Life is meant to be happy, it is meant to be fullfilled and if you are doing it then I praise you! Be unbreakable in this life and do not allow negativity to break your focus on a dream you have. Keep your head high and keep pushing forward with every ounce of energy you have! Your dream is bigger and more important than any obstacle.

Living in a new day...

2013-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

I have had this topic on my mind for a long time now and I felt it was absolutely necessary to blog on it. So I seem to get the usual questions almost daily of how I accomplish all I do with being a single mother. I usually just blow these off without questions, maybe I should say I have learned to do this. But its very simple, I prioritize my life the way I want it to go and I have excellent family that helps me with my son. Besides the questions of "what do you do with your kid" I usually get "why don't you ever want to stay home"? My answer to these questions although I never argue with anyone is we live in the 21st century now a days. It is no longer 1980, and some of us have ambition and goals!

As you know I live in Georgia, South Georgia and the typical mom around here doesn't have any other goal on her mind other than raising children and cooking for a husband. Unfortunatley, I gave the husband a try and it wasn't in the cards for me so I choose to do things on my own, and I like it this way. I had an interview this past weekend and the guy asked me how I managed this and I said I prioritize for what I want! I hear people complaining all the time saying they can't do this because of this or they can't do that because of that. I brush all that negative stuff off because I realize what can be done! In my opinion, a mom that chooses to get out and be a positive example by being active, for her child and other children is what this world needs.

Even as far as the running goes now days. Things have changed drastically for runners from the 80's, 90's even til today. When I meet with my running coach Mike Beeman he shows me photographs from the 70's and runners actually ran in converse shoes and are still walking! I like to consider myself a 90's kinda gal but I have to say I have developed into more of the 21st century runner/person all the way. For instance, I ran a 5K in Miami a few weekends ago, I ran it for fun to meet and greet people but every person I met spoke a different language than I did. It was truely amazing to me to be a part of such diversity! Because growing up in south Georgia we didn't experience this. I had a conversation with one of my best friends last night and he was talking about an athlete friend of mine I haven't seen in such a long time. I asked if he was still dating the girl he was seeing and my friend said no he wasn't because she wanted him to move away from here to another state. I couldn't believe it when he told me this, but then I thought this is the south and the norm is to get married right away. Well I do not believe in living up to someone elses expectations of my life. I get asked often if I will ever get married again, and I say probably not. I feel content as well as confident with myself and my child and this is a new era we live in and its not necessary anymore.

To me living this small town life causes some people to limit thereselves drastically, and their thinking. Not that they can't be a success here but a lot of people let what the norm of things are here dictact the way their lives turn out. The small town life has been good for me, but I have always had that urge to move forward from here even from when I was in my younger high school years. I realize there is hate and jealousy everywhere you go, but being different or having a different passion from most people definately has had its issues for me over the years. Its always been harder for a lot of people to realize your passion should drive you and not just nipping at the heals of others to try and get ahead. But as my running coach Mike Beeman tells me enjoy your indifference and follow that dream all the way through! My future for running is to succeed of course, but to raise my child to be the best person he is capable of and not limit himself to what others expect of him.

Role Model

2013-02-01T16:48:00.001-08:00

I had a phone interview this afternoon with a newpaper. It was a very interesting interview, he asked me a lot of the usual questions most other places ask me but one thing he mentioned to me that stood out in my mind was how I felt about being a role model to my son and other people. I stopped for a second after he said this to me and had to think, am I actually a role model now? I felt humbled when he said it but it made me more proud than anything.

Recently I blogged that I would be doing a photo shoot soon. This will be a special shoot for me because it is one like I have never been asked to do before. Normally when I get asked to do these there isn't that much excitement to them. In fact, they are pretty stressful, but this one is going to mean a lot. This photographer contacted me all because of my blog. He said that I inspired him after reading what I have gone through, and he knew I would inspire his daughter even more. His daughter was diagnosed with cancer when she was only 5 years old and now she is 8 and she has had to have her leg amputated. The photographer wanted to do a different type of photo shoot. A fitness photo shoot, but with his daughter who has lost her left leg. He felt that having some fitness photos taken of me with her would inspire her so much after going through all she has. I think this is a fantastic idea because I had my car accident at a very young age and I had to deal with growing up and facing life changing decisions so young as well. But most importantly I want to help this child any way I can and if having a photo taken with me and talking to me is what can inspire her I want nothing more!

Hearing someone tell me this, makes me feel so proud. Being a positive role model to someone means the world to me or anyone. I love to bond with people that are like people, people that are positive in general with life. As I get older I pay a lot more attention to my feelings. That is the feelings or vibes I get from people immediately when I meet them. I can be around someone for 10 minutes now and feel the presence they give, whether it is love, hate, jealousy, passion, ambition just whatever feeling they may give I pay close attention to it. So I choose to be around those like people or people most like me, and if what I have suffered through in my life can inspire someone to be a more like person and push further that makes my heart melt. This little girl, the photographers daughter Sarah, suffered with cancer. I cannot say I have ever had to go through anything as hard as this disease but I do recognize and relate to these patients and cancer survivors often. I do this because to me cancer is that most difficult obstacle placed in some of our lives that shows us exactly what we are made of and because I feel such a strong bond to them. I haven't experienced chemo therapy but I can relate to the not knowing and being told over and over exactly how your life will turn out. I can relate to the struggle to prove yourself, and prove everyone wrong who says you won't be able to do it! When I look at those cancer survivors or cancer patients I see pure determination and passion in their eyes and I feel it immediately when I meet them.

I look forward to doing this photoshoot with Sarah soon. I think we have so much in common although it may not be cancer it is struggle, but also survival!

Balancing act

2013-01-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

The older I get the more I realize and actually grasp the fact that my life is a balancing act. When I was younger I never paid any mind to people who would try and teach me this fact. Luckily I have always had a stay focused or some have said stubborn quality about myself that I stick to things. This morning I had a sick child so my run was postponed but I have chilled out a lot with stressing over missing those because I have realized I can get it before my day is done. I had to arrange a place for him to stay while I was working so he went with my mom today and his other grand mom was to pick him up. As I was driving to work managing getting all of this taken care of I had my phone buzzing constantly. I have two interviews this weekend and I am very excited about these, so I had to arrange a time for them to happen. I talked to a friend of mine over the phone last night and he said he couldn't understand how I acquired the energy to do all the things I do in a day. When I hear this from people I simply say I just roll with the punches of life. But honestly my life does have to be planned strategically to accomplish the things I want to do. For instance my speed work which I missed this morning. I planned a long tempo run at a good speed, but since I didn't get to do this I decided to do it all on my lunch break. My lunch break is an hour and a half so I knew I could manage speed in this time frame. Today was terrible weather, we have had tornado watches all day and by lunch it hadn't started raining yet. Of course as I was walking out for lunch to hit the track, it began sprinkling on me, but I knew I had to get my speed work in. I went to the track and did mile repeats and as I was finishing that last quarter up it began flooding! I did finish all my speed, and I did it at an excellent pace this week. I have taken the advice I got from my friend Kristie and her coach Sam on laying off of my crossfit classes so much and I do feel it is benefiting my running. Besides the rest I have been incorporating a lot more tempo runs in my week and just paying a lot more attention to my speeds. I had a friend of mine from Atlanta inform me this week that I needed to get things rolling if I wanted to get in Boston 2014. I have to BQ by September 2013 to actually get in so speed has been my main focus. With this focus I have to take lots of precautions I know because as I have said before speed is a love hate thing for me because it can be so dangerous on your legs. Every time I have gotten injured in my past it has been due to speed work.

Other exciting news I have had going on lately is I am happy to have Red Line Film Productions coming into town tomorrow. They are interested in doing an interview with me for a running documentary on my life and all my training. I also have another interview with a magazine in Warner Robins GA on Saturday so I have been really excited and busy with getting all the necessary information for all of this. But another exciting event that happened to me happened yesterday. I received an email from a photographer near Macon GA who wanted to do a photo shoot with me. This was such an interesting email because he said he ran across my blog and it inspired him so much. He said it inspired him because his 8 year old daughter recently had to have one of her legs amputated. As I read this I could do nothing but cry. He said that he wanted to shoot some pictures but was sure he wanted me to meet his daughter because I would inspire her greatly. I immediately responded back to him that I would love to and I would also love to shoot some pictures with his daughter and possibly interview her for an inspiration for my blog.

It is a blessing to me to hear people tell me that I inspire them in any way. I don't believe in regret but I do feel I waited too long in my life to share the things I have experienced. When I ask people to write me their biography for my inspirations on my blog I always tell them it will be therapy for them. Not only will it help them to write this all down, it really does inspire people when you hear someone goes through and survives such tragic events and still pushes forward! When I was asked to give my biography to The Runners Journal last year it was a type of therapy for me too. Because I had not opened up very much on that subject but today I am comfortable talking to people more on it and I am glad because it is a positive thing for people to hear.

Boston

2013-01-21T21:00:00.001-08:00

This weekend I had my 1st half marathon. I had intentions of going out that day feeling great and doing my thing. I also had a few interviews lined up for after the marathon so I had been working really hard on getting those loose ends done. That week I had been throwing myself into my gym pretty hard and doing the crossfit type classes which I love so I was feeling tired. When I get to the marathon I felt so sluggish and my shoulders were absolutely killing me from a brutal shoulders like boulders routine I done the day before with my trainer at the gym. I knew better than this or actually I wasn't focusing at all on my run.

I ran my half marathon with my friend Kristi and she saw how bad my running was struggling. She gave me some good advice if Boston is truely my goal. I have spoke before on how Kristi has already qualified for Boston, and she did this through pure determination and hard work. While she was on her journey to Boston, she would text me of how her knees and foot was injured. She didn't let any of this stop her. She set her mind to Boston and did it. When she gives me advice of any type I listen to her because she has been on the same road I am traveling. She told me what I didn't really want to hear but what I needed to hear. The crossfit is wearing you down, and she said if you would focus more on your running and eliminate some of the other you would be unstoppable. Those words have rang in my mind since she said them. After the race I honestly ran through the finish line to my car to change. I wore shorts on the run and I had the interview with the television station right away. I changed, ran back to the finish line and did my very first television interview on overcoming the odds.

After this interview, I mingled around the finish line and spoke with some of the runners. I had the opportunity to speak with Sam Martinez, a very qualified fast running coach in Macon, who coached Kristi to Boston and is also an Ironman. I went over with him what I had been doing and he said the same things as Kristi said, that I was not focusing enough on the prize, Boston. He told me I needed to back away from my crossfit classes and throw myself into my running with everything I had. Hearing him tell me this lets me know I definitely need to refocus. I honestly can't believe I got side tracked. I believe the training I did for Jacksonville may have burned me out slightly, and along with everything else I have been trying to accomplish, maybe the multitasking life I have is beginning to wear on me.

I had another interview with a local magazine in Warner Robins, Georgia at the awards ceremony. I received an email from their sports editor on Thursday afternoon, he said he was interested in speaking with me that day of my marathon. I spent a while talking with him and shooting some pictures, then I headed back home. When I got home, I recieved an email from a film company asking if I would be interested in talking with them about my story. I almost fell out of my chair when I read it. I have been talking with the director all day. He mentioned he wanted to walk with me and do a documentary type show on my life day to day. He was a really cool guy when I spoke with him, and naturally I said yes I'd love to.

Different people always ask me what my fascination with Boston really is. I usually answer the same, Boston is my baby. It takes a lot of hard work to get there, its a prestigious marathon that you can't buy your way into, you actually have to earn your way in. Boston to me symbolizes challenge, determination, and willpower. I feel fortunate to know the people I do, that have made it there already. Especially the ones who have had to struggle and work hard. Kristi mentioned something to me Saturday as we were running, she said Stephanie we are not one of those people who were born with this gift. This is something we have to work hard to achieve but she said I assure you it's going to be well worth it when you get there. I will get there, I am going to apply all the advice given to me, although taking a step back seems so hard for me I have learned in this life this will help me.