Romance and Chocolate: Writing, Reading and Lesbians

One Million Moms! Look! LESBIAN Superheroes!

2012-05-26T12:00:00.004-07:00

The One Million Moms don't like ice cream or kissing and now they're hating on comic books. That's right, they want to boycott DC Comics and Marvel because they have characters who are gay and *shockers* superheroes at the same time.

Now I happen to believe that most lesbians are superheroes. I know, I'm biased that way. But do they boycott me? I have superheroes in all my books. You know the type: lesbians with jobs they are good at, who pay taxes, fall in love, solve problems, help their families and friends, bake cookies and are even--damaging the fabric of society everywhere I'm sure--MOMS. So confusing for the children, isn't it? So where's my boycott? PLEASE...?

Infomercials and Your Credit Card - Be Cautious!

2012-05-22T04:13:00.000-07:00

This comes under the heading of Public Service Announcement because today I saw a rash of unrelated Facebook posts that all complained of similar issues dealing with credit card charges where people bought something based on an infomercial and fell into a pit of credit card hell.
Perhaps it's because people bought certain kinds of things after the holidays and only now are the problems becoming apparent -- not with the product, but with the company who took their money.

I've been asked where I got the details about fraud and banking issues that are covered in Above Temptation. I used to be an accountant and as such, underwent audits by CPAs.
They love to tell war stories about fraud and issues they detected. I'm also a late night TV junkie and I watch a lot of infomercials while I'm working. And just for fun -- okay, I know it's a little weird -- I will Google the products and then the company that is selling the product and read the horror stories. And they are horrifying: products that just don't work or were actually harmful. Behind every one of those horror stories is the second wave: the company that took the money is a nightmare worse than a bad product.

This blog is about the kinds of borderline tricks and outright scams practiced by the companies who fulfill orders and handle the credit cards for the kinds of products you see in late-night TV: infomercials. This blog isn't about bad products. (Seriously, just put "consumer complaints" after the name of a product and see what you get.) It's not about shopping networks or channels which operate in a very different manner than what I'm about to describe.

The Basic Warning Spiel

Stop.
Research.
Don't believe them when they say that offer expires in 4 minutes.
Be suspicious.

The Classic Redirection
Do not offer up your credit card at any site until you know the name of the company that is being authorized to take those "3 easy payments." If they want your credit card before they tell you the actual name of the company who will process your payment run for the hills. Seriously, close the browser window and mentally walk away.

You might be at "ABCGizmo.com," but "Moneytaker" is the company that will fulfill your order and take your money. But nowhere before you buy does it say you're about to do business with Moneytaker. That's a huge red flag.

Or, in an attempt to look upstanding and reliable, the site might say at the bottom in tiny print that it's run by Moneytaker. Or, the ad for ABCGizmo has a brief splash screen with the number to call in big type. Look quick, because it may say Moneytaker Enterprises LLC in small, pale print.

Before you go any further with your purchase, Google "Moneytaker" with the words "consumer complaints" and see what comes up. Generally, several of the first five results will be consumer boards or forums where people post complaints. If there's relatively few spaced far apart that's one thing. But if there is a constant stream of similar complaints about nonexistent refunds, unanswered phones, failure to cease monthly billing when the total is paid, or failure to stop sending automatic refills then consider yourself warned.

The Impossible Cancellation
A common scam with these companies is that they won't let you cancel an order even if they have "money-back guarantee" plastered all over the site. Let's say that from the checkout material it's plain that your items won't ship for several days, or even weeks, and you've thought it over and realized you bought more than you meant to or you're just plain having second thoughts. So you call the toll-free number. You could find out that number only works if you're calling from another state. Or that you're put on hold and no one ever picks up. Or, if you get through, you are told to call back the following day, in the afternoon, to talk to the cancellation department. These are all stall techniques. When you call back or finally get the right number they will tell you that your order has already shipped, too bad. (And likely you will receive your merchandise with ample proof that it shipped days, if not weeks, after your call). So instead of telling you there is a "no cancellation" policy up front, they pretend there is, and then simply don't let you.

So the first time you talk to someone be blunt. Explain that if they don't cancel the order your next call is to your bank to report fraud and their charge will be rejected. If you get the run around, make that call to your bank and find out exactly what you can do to stop the charge. Cancel the card if you have to. And consider yourself lucky.

The Non-Existent Refund
Let's say you don't get the order cancelled and you're going to send it back and get a refund under their money-back guarantee. For one thing, you'll never see the money you paid for shipping and handling back. You'll also pay to return the item. But when you contact them to arrange for that you'll get a run around similar to what I described for trying to cancel the order. They may charge you for a return label and then never issue a refund. That's why it's so important to do that bit of research before you place the order.

Automatic Refill Hell
If you decide to go ahead with your order, do not agree to automatic refills from this type of company. They'll dangle a discount to make it seem like the smart thing to do but it may lead to a pile of regret. Most companies will want to refill your supply of whatever before you've exhausted what you have. So they're giving you 25% off and sending you twice as much as you would have bought if you'd waited until your supply got low. That math is not in your favor.

So when you get backed up on the automatic refills and try to cancel, that's when you find that Moneytaker is run by incompetent people who don't know customer service, can't speak clearly on the phone, don't seem to know how to use their computer, haven't a clue how to do what you're asking... Well that's all a lie. You're a fish on the line, dear friend, and they're just stringing you along. They'll make it seem as if you didn't do the right steps (hold your breath, pat your head and double-click on a Tuesday). Don't fall for any of it. Tell the person on the phone they need to cancel all future shipments because you're cancelling the credit card they have and you're not giving them a new card number. You might actually get someone's attention. If not then do the deed: cancel the credit card. Do it right then or wrangle with the company another six months and still end up cancelling the card--your choice.

A Quick Word about Shopping Network Channels
Most of the time, the channels are selling merchandise by consignment. They will take your money and fulfill the order. If you have issues, you're dealing with a company that does care about their reputation. However, be wary if the segment featuring a product is redirecting you to another site not their own to make the purchase. That means you're at the mercy of that other site, which could be Moneytaker Enterprises LLC.

Find Out Your Rights
Your rights as a consumer vary from state to state, but credit card agreements often have good protections for you if you complain promptly and can document your attempts to resolve the issue with the company. Often, too, your local news outlets will have consumer fraud tips that you may find helpful. But many of these companies move around to take safe haven in states that don't rapidly enforce consumer protection. Your best protection is to:

Stop.
Research.
Don't Order in a Rush.
Be suspicious.

Let's Review
A well-run business will give you all the details of a transaction before you give your credit card number. They will not have scores and scores of complaints found by an easy web search. The entity that will bill you is acknowledged in your materials before you buy. The cancellation policy is easy to find. The less true these statements are of a company the more you should question whether you want to give them your credit card number.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent
For the person who wants to protest that there are legitimate infomercial companies that are run honestly and I'm damning them all with a broad brush: If that's the case anyone who follows my advice should get all the reassurance they need from a simple search that it's safe to do business with that company. I'm not up-to-date on the current condition of Ronco (for example) but it is true that years ago they had a solid reputation for decent customer service. But there is far too much fraud and snake oil out there now to pretend my blog is a court of law. When it comes to infomercial products and the companies who fulfill those orders, I'm very much a consumer who believes guilty until proven innocent.

Writing a Book - Mowing the Lawn

2012-05-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure this year of hearing Garrison Keillor speak at Zellerbach Hall in Berkeley earlier this year.
He seemed in a nostalgic mood, singing wistful love songs in addition to pondering on the magic of past loves and his long-term love affair with the beautiful Bay Area.

The quip above was almost an aside, but I have thought of it often. Writing a book is sometimes much like mowing the lawn. Thank goodness, however, that it can be a mystical experience just often enough to keep me feeling the magic.

Sugar - Now Available Direct to Your Device!

2012-05-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

My Goldie award-winning love story Sugar, about an overwhelmed cake designer courted by not one, not two, but three women, is now available direct to Nook and Kindle. Click the appropriate icon below to go to your source and be reading in minutes!

If you're interested in an excerpt, visit the book page at my website, and you'll find the entirety of chapter one in an easy to download PDF. There are also links to the Nook and Kindle stores on the page, and links to the eBook versions from BellaBooks.com.

Sugar Sorenson’s life has just gone up in flames.
Literally.

Struggling to make ends meet, Sugar has invested everything into Cake Dreams by Sugar with hopes of becoming the most sought-after designer of event desserts in Seattle.

Working — and baking — night and day to perfect her business and her chances of winning a large bake-off prize, she’s not prepared for disaster. Within a few hours she’s got no place to live and no business, not even a bag of flour or a measuring cup.

Support arrives in the form of an empathetic Victim’s Advocate social worker named Tree, a hunky, charming firefighter named Charlie, and a dynamic, ambitious local TV producer. She’s Emily, and the first of the trio to make a serious play for Sugar in the morning, Sugar in the evening, and Sugar in the afternoon.

After years as a single lesbian who couldn’t get a heartbeat from any woman anywhere, all this attention has Sugar’s head spinning. Forced to live with her ailing, homophobic grandmother, she has no idea how she'll get to know any of these new women in her life. They all offer changed circumstances, stability and a hope at forever. But which one will she choose?

Finding Ms. Right is no piece of cake.

Fans of this book will not want to miss the short story in Frosting on the Cake 2, also available direct to Kindle and Nook.

One Million Moms - Lesbians French Kissing!

2012-05-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

The One Million Moms are racking up the failures:

They've tried to pick on Ellen and JC Penney; both stood proud.
They're taking credit for the cancellation of very LGBT-friendly, very Christian Kristin Chenowith's show, but low ratings are the culprit.
They advised parents to take their kids out of school for unexcused absences if the school dared not to punish students who participated in the Day of Silence or allowed gay-straight alliances.
Starbucks pretty much said "One million what?"
Urban Outfitters just shrugged.
They even attacked the American institution of good humored ice cream (Schweddy Balls, anyone?) via Ben & Jerry's who promptly put out a pro-marriage equality ice cream.

And I can't get them to pick on me! I would love to be boycotted by One Million Moms. It would make my day! Think of the headlines! Think of the free publicity!

I'm hoping they are disgusted and outraged by the idea of FRENCH kissing, especially by lesbians. In French.

Pre-Order Books for the Con - Benefit for GCLS

2012-05-13T13:08:00.003-07:00

Meeting readers is one of my favorite things. Which is one of the reasons why I love the GCLSCon. It's a major reader destination and having all those women in one place is a contact high. Sometimes literally, since hugs are almost always part of the fun!

This year readers can find me at the Friday afternoon autograph session, of course, and at the Bella table - just drop by to see the schedule. I'll also be hanging around other times. (It's sort of a "try and get rid of me" situation...)

I want to be sure I have the book you're looking for on hand. I can't bring them all...even one copy of each book is a suitcase full!

So starting today I'm taking pre-orders for books to be delivered to you at the Con. I'm adding some sugar to the deal too. For every order where you pick "Deliver to GCLSCon" for the shipping method, I'm donating a portion to the GCLS General Fund based on the order total.

$0 - $20 - 15%

$20 - $39 - 20%

$39+ - 30%

To access my shopping cart you can look at the full English bibliography and click "Add to Bag" for any book, or open the catalog to browse.

Be sure when you check out to pick "Deliver to GCLSCon" as the shipping method! That's the only way I'll know you want me to donate some of the order to GCLS. I'll bring the books to GCLS and sign them when you pick them up.

Questions? Comment at the blog, on Facebook or Tweet me. The offer is good through next Sunday, 5/20/12.

The Golden Crown Literary Society (GCLS) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit literary and educational organization for the enjoyment, discussion, and enhancement of lesbian literature. Our goals are to support and strengthen quality lesbian literature by providing places for readers and writers to interact, to encourage and assist new writers and established authors, and to recognize and promote lesbian work.

If Your Daughter Starts to Act Too Butch

2012-05-02T11:08:00.002-07:00

So in addition to thinking you should hit your son if his wrist is "limp" so-called Pastor Sean Harris thinks you can get the butch out of your daughter by making her into his idea of what a girl is.
Apparently he knows one if he smells one.

So another dangerous missive from this lesbian writer, who seriously needs to be boycotted by One Million Moms and the American Family Association and any "man of God" who thinks like Sean Harris.

Sean Harris claims he's being misquoted, taken out of context and that he misspoke. He didn't mean to say hit your kids if you think they're gay. He meant to say hit your kids if you think they're gay. All cleared up?

Frosting 2 - Second Helpings Now Direct to Your Device!

2012-04-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

My Goldie award-winning collection of short stories inspired by my romance novels, Frosting on the Cake 2: Second Helpings, is now available direct to Nook and Kindle.
The collection features 18 short stories and authors notes titled "With Frosting You Get Sprinkles." Wondering what Kip did with her life after Above Temptation? Looking for another glimpse of Louisa and Rayann from Touchwood? What happens on the warm summer nights in a Napa Valley vineyard?

Click the appropriate icon below to go to your source and be reading in minutes!

I hope you enjoy the visits with familiar characters as much as I enjoyed writing about them. If you're interested in an excerpt, visit the book page at my website, and you'll find the story "Good Morning" based on Anidryr, Eve and of course the one of a kind Lisa, from Warming Trend. There are also links to the Nook and Kindle stores on the page.

Roller Coaster Available Direct to Your Device!

2012-04-22T01:30:00.000-07:00

My Goldie finalist romance, Roller Coaster, is now available direct to Nook and Kindle.
Click the appropriate icon below to go to the correct page!

I'd also like to point out that my publisher, BellaBooks.com, carries a variety of ebook formats and that Kindle users can use mobi files and Nook users can use epub files to "side load" any book to their device. All of my ebooks are here. Because Roller Coaster is a Goldie finalist, it's currently on sale at Bella too!

Happy reading and thank you for the book love and support!

One Million Moms Please Boycott Me!

2012-04-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

I figure if being boycotted by this unsuccessful hate group has turned out to be some of the best free advertising some large corporations (with little history of being LGBT friendly) have ever gotten in the LGBT community, maybe it will work for me!

One Million Moms, really, I'm shameless. I'm sure I confuse The Children. One little boycott? Please? This book is even available on Kindle and can be downloaded in seconds to unsuspecting readers!

I even have children! C'mon, that's gotta get me somewhere with you!

Totally Free All-Access Pass to Everything!

2012-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

GCLSCON and Roller Coaster

2012-04-09T03:57:00.000-07:00

GCLSCON is my favorite lesbian fiction event of the year. You know how there are cruises that take lesbians to exciting places?
GCLSCON is like that, except the exciting place under one roof, in the pool and in the company of the lesbians themselves. They love books and love to hug, laugh, sing and celebrate. For a lot of the women who go, it's also that one guaranteed time during the year where they can hold hands, smooch and romp in the pool with their best girl in complete freedom and surrounded by sisters.

A treasured, pinch-me moment when
I joined Katherine Forrest and
Ellen Hart in a skit to launch a
murder mystery game.

As an event it recharges my lesbian batteries. There is no better sound anywhere than that of women laughing together. To top it all off, sometimes they give me pretty things to put on my bookshelves along with resounding calls of "atta girl!" This year I'm pleased to announce that Roller Coaster is a Goldie 2012 finalist in the Traditional Contemporary Romance category. I'm truly blown away by the company I'm keeping: Gerri Hill, Kenna White, Kate Christie, Lynn James, Georgia Beers, Kim Baldwin, Melissa Brayden and Mari SanGiovanni. Wow. That's just...wow. (It must be pretty fantastic for me to be at nearly a loss for words...)

If you're in the Midwest or having been meaning to get to one of the cons one of these years, make it this year in Minneapolis. The hotel looks great, it's pretty inexpensive, near the Mall of America and it'll be full of lesbians. It's such a loving, fun-filled event, even for shy people. So think about it for a getaway to start your summer off with lesbigasmic fun.

If you decide to go because of this blog be sure to introduce yourself to me and tell me that and I will give you a great big hug. I truly hope to see you there!

If you're curious about Roller Coaster you can read more about it here, as well as an excerpt, and there are links to buy at BellaBooks.com in paper and eBook formats that are compatible with almost all the reading devices out there, including iPad, Nook, Kindle, smart phones, etc. I have it on good authority that it will be on sale in a day or two in celebration of its being a Goldie 2012 finalist. Here's the blurb:

Two very different reasons brought Laura Izmani and Helen Baynor to the Beach Boardwalk for a symbolic ride on the biggest wooden roller coaster on the west coast. They part strangers, but only after sharing an experience that shifted both of their lives onto new tracks.

Their paths cross again decades later when Laura interviews with Helen to become the private chef for the Baynor household. Given what Laura revealed during that fateful coaster ride, she’s relieved that Helen seems to have forgotten her.

Fiercely protective of her children, Helen—now a famous stage actress and widow with teenaged twins—divides her time between home in a sleepy California enclave and the bright lights of Broadway. Continuing her carefully managed life until her children leave for college is all she wants.

Their first roller coaster ride together may turn out to be only a prelude...

And the Book Giveaway Winner is...

2012-04-08T17:49:00.004-07:00

My house elf finally got busy (amazing what bribery will do) and collected all the names of the commenters here at my blog and at Goodreads and a few others who had technical difficulties with those options and were counted via email, etc.
The winner was carefully drawn from a hat...okay, it was laundry bag, we were improvising. Drumroll, please!

The winner is "Kriszta" who wished for a copy of Christabel, saying "I'm just reading the ebook version and I can't put it down. It's beautiful." Thank you Kriszta! Drop me an email and I'll send it off to you with signature and a kiss!

Thank you everyone for the comments, the fabulous recipes, the giggles and many, many kind words. I'm currently on the home stretch with Love by the Numbers and it's always great to get such supportive feedback and know that you are all really out there. (And some of you are definitely out there... You know who you are!)

Oh yeah - you can find me at Goodreads (Karin Kallmaker) and of course on Facebook (Karin Kallmaker-The Books). All likes, reviews, clicks and social mediawesomeness is much appreciated!

If you're curious about Christabel you can read more about it here, as well as an excerpt, and there are links to buy at BellaBooks.com in paper and eBook and you can also purchase it direct to Kindle or Nook. Here's the blurb:

Deeper than the city streets, the subways, even the dry riverbeds that no longer flow, are the roots of a tree that remembers love and tragedy...

Financier Dina Rowland's assignment is to make fashion designer Leo Goranson a lot of money. But the more she knows of him, the more repugnant his personal life is to her. Not the least inconsequential is his unbreakable hold on his greatest asset: supermodel Christabel. One touch and the power--and responsibility--of Dina's long-hidden heritage threatens to crumble the careful plans she has made for her life.

Christa knows there is no escaping her tormentor, but she has a plan to deny him what he ultimately wants from her. The past can't be changed. Having long accepted her fate she is unprepared for the wild feelings that Dina's eyes arouse in her. There is passion, certainly, but also the rarest feeling of all to her: hope.

This revised and augmented edition of Karin Kallmaker's Gothic tale of two captive souls will move and inspire a new generation of readers. Originally published in 1998 under the pen name of Laura Adams, this imaginative and passionate story is sure to please new and old fans alike.

No Fooling - Book Giveaway

2012-04-01T02:52:00.000-07:00

Last year I had fun writing a couple of spoofs (Stipends for Lesbian Writers and Pulitzer Adds Romance to Prize Categories) for the first of April, but this year I'm heavily into writing my next novel and all my creativity is focused there.
So I decided that this year, no fooling around! I'm giving away any book of mine I have in stock to one person who makes a comment here on the blog. Random drawing, void where prohibited, odds depend on how many comment, etc.

What kind of comment? Keep it clean, don't be mean are the only real rules. You could make up a fake headline that's an April Fool's joke, say which book you'd pick if your name is drawn from the hat, or share a recipe--just a few ideas there.

You can comment using your Google or Facebook IDs. The drawing will be done on April 31st.

If you're a Facebook user and the "like" button over there on the upper left isn't clicked, I'd appreciate it if you clicked it, no fooling.

So yes, you can comment that April only has 30 days, I was just foolin' ya and seeing who reads this far. My house elf will draw the winner on April 5. Thanks for being a reader, a fan and a good sport!

And Now the Real Cover of Love by the Numbers

2012-03-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Acquitted of complicity in her father’s financial mega-swindle, “American royalty” Lillian Linden-Smith is being hounded relentlessly by a TV lawyer and a public mob still out for her blood.
When one of the few friends she has left offers her an assistant’s job that will take her out of the country on promotional tour, the now penniless Lily grabs it—and doesn’t question the condition that, no matter what, she cannot quit.

As a behavioral scientist, Professor Nicole Hathaway’s work strips away the foolish mystique that surrounds the human mating dance. She’s even devised a way to predict compatibility based on DNA. But when Love by the Numbers goes viral, and her ecstatic publisher books her to appear all over the U.S. and Europe, she’s overrun by critics and fans alike. And she’s certain this Lily Smith creature isn’t going to be any more help than the last assistant they sent her. Or the one before that. Or before that...

Rude, arrogant, spoiled brat. These are the nicest words Lily and Nicole have for each other. No matter how the numbers are crunched, it doesn’t add up to romance.

Love by the Numbers
Lesbian Romance by Karin Kallmaker
Available November, 2012.

Love by the Numbers - Minimalist Style

2012-03-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the minimalist movie posters that have been circulating on Facebook and Twitter, this is my take on the cover of my next book, Love by the Numbers.

Breathtakingly Stupid, Even Considering the Source

2012-03-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've been having fun of late making up graphic memes on items I see going around. They've only been on Facebook, which has its limitations, so I'll post them on my blog as well. Here's today's.

Autocorrect and Anatomies of Typographical Errors

2012-03-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

I'm always delighted to have older books reach new readers in new ebook editions.
It's even better to hear from those readers that the stories still speak to them about love and life. The story is what came out of my creative energy and muse and the synergy of working with an editor.

This month my second novel, Touchwood, is available again in print and finally in digital formats. It may be that the intergenerational love story turned off a lot of potential readers back in 1991 as it is my least popular book in terms of sales. Of those who have read it, though, it is nearly always one of their absolute favorites. It's good to see it again with new cover art and off in a new life. It would not be the book that it is if I'd not had the expert and caring advice of Katherine Forrest and Christi Cassidy as editors.

One frustration with the new digital editions is the inconsistency of the digital reader platforms and finding that, in spite of all the proofreading and care by yours truly and publishing staff, one version for one device no longer has any blank spacing, not between scenes or at the beginnings of chapters. Page numbers are suddenly embedded mid-paragraph and so forth. A file can be fine when it last leaves my hands and turn out just right for several formats. How can one format go ga-binga? And then if a reader uses Calibre to transfer a format that can introduce a lot more visual errors--or it can go perfectly. I'm glad I'm not the person in control of the specifications!

On the list of things I can control is finally getting to correct a mistake I'd made in Touchwood after all these years. When I wrote the book in 1988 or so, there was a little known to Americans flavoring agent called balsamic vinegar. Sacramento circa 1988... No Internet. Balsamic wasn't carried in grocery stores. I'd only heard it said aloud on cooking programs of the day. It sure sounded delicious and was a good way to add aroma and flavor to a few sentences about a meal. I couldn't find it mentioned in magazines I skimmed at the library. Now if I'd asked a librarian I might have found what I needed, but my recollection is that I searched French cookbooks and finally found one that had a salad dressing in it that contained "balsalmic" vinegar. Flash forward to today and nobody uses plain old vinegar in dressings anymore (okay, maybe some do). Everybody uses balsamic. Fifty-year-old balsamic is one of the foods of the gods.

So twenty years later I finally got to correct balsalmic to balsamic. There were a few other little typos in the original book from Naiad Press and I got to fix those as well. I hope that the process of scanning it didn't introduced any new ones. *crossing fingers*

I have, however, encountered a brand new frustration with the joys of technology with my latest book, Roller Coaster. In it I incorporated a French phrase that is fairly well known. Not being a French speaker, I found the phrase in several sources, compared them, and since they were all the same as far as accents and spelling, I carefully typed it into my document.

Enter Autocorrect, which transformed rien into rein. I didn't notice when it happened and so of course it made it into the final book. Dagnabbit!

My current work-in-progress has a number of foreign phrases in it, in a couple of different languages, so I'll be watching you, Autocorrect. I'd turn you off, but you are useful for fixing my tagneld figners on common words like thier and nad and miniumm.

On the list of things an author can't control is an error that jumped off the page as I thumbed through my copy of Roller Coaster. The mistake wasn't in the final proof so had to happen when the file was being finalized for printing. It looks like a kitty left alone with the keyboard--and a hundred YouTube videos demonstrate how much kitties like that--decided to add three more characters to the middle of a word. No doubt these were very delicately chosen to create a brand new word the kitty found pleasing: maondke. The name of a lost love from the kitty's fourth or fifth life? A foreign delicacy the kitty desires? Or was this a ghostly kitty sending a message from the beyond?

If anyone can interpret "ond" let me know. Meanwhile, enjoy the new edition of Touchwood and its balsamic vinegar.

***

If you've been waiting for a signed copy of Touchwood, you can order one from me. Media mail shipping is included.

A Lesbian - What She Actually Does

2012-02-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

I had so much fun with the "What Romance Writers Actually Do" meme that I decided on an analysis of "A Lesbian - What She Actually Does." Reality for other lesbians may vary because we are actually not all the same.

All images are in the public domain (including the fabulous Rosie the Riveter courtesy of the National Archives) or licensed for non-commercial use. Creative Commons Share-Alike with Attribution.

What Romance Writers Actually Do

2012-02-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

My take on the "What We Actually Do" meme. The art displayed is either public domain or licensed for non-commercial use. Creative Commons SSA-BY Copyright.

The Heir to the Queendom

2012-02-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

I have two children. Kelson is sixteen and a high school junior.
Eleanor is ~~thirteen~~ fourteen and a freshman. I share those two facts as background for this conversation, which took place yesterday while my son and I were waiting for Eleanor to be done with her after school improv club activities.

Kelson: You have a Wiki.
Me: I do. It's a little over the top. All positive.
Kelson: But that's a good for you, isn't it?
Me: Sure. Why?
Kelson: My friends say that if you're the Queen of Lesbian Literature then I'm the Prince of Lesbian Literature.
Kelson (after I stop laughing loudly): Yeah. So thanks.
Me: It could be worse.
Kelson: Not really.
Me: They could think you were the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots.
[silence]
Me: That would be worse. And at least no one will think that if you're the Prince of Lesbian Literature that you must be a lesbian.
Kelson: *snicker*
[Eleanor enters car, immediately begins eating Chipotle burrito because life has its priorities.]
Kelson: It's still not worse.
Eleanor: What are we talking about?
Kelson: Nothing.
Me: If I'm the Queen of Lesbian Literature, that makes Kelson the Prince of Lesbian Literature.
Eleanor: Then I'm the Princess of Lesbian Literature.
Kelson: But who wants to the heir to the Kingdom of Lesbian Literature?
Eleanor: You wouldn't be. The Queendom of Lesbian Literature passes through the matrilinear line.

I had no more to add. Neither did Kelson. Eleanor continued to enjoy her burrito.

Roller Coaster's First Review!

2012-01-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

Early comments from readers have left me heaving a sigh of relief: there is no worst time in the life of this writer than that between the book's release and the first feedback.
It's the time when all the self-doubt has an uninterrupted echo chamber. So far I'm delighted with the comments from readers as they've been nearly all positive.

And I wish I could say that I'm sorry about the lost sleep. I tried to be, really. I failed.

The first written review of Roller Coaster has been released at The Lesbrary. If you don't follow the site, consider it. It's a compendium of just about anything that gets mentioned on the web about lesbian writing. Reviewer Anna has this to say:

As Laura and Helen encounter romantic challenges with other people, Kallmaker quietly but effectively sets the stage for their relationship as they live and work together in a family setting. But there are still several secrets between them–Laura continues to be reluctant about revealing their shared past–and Kallmaker makes her characters work for a satisfying conclusion. Recommended.

Roller Coaster is available at independent bookstores (just ask, they'll order it for you if it's not on the shelf) and online at BellaBooks.com and all the other major online etailers. If you're an eBook fan, BellaBooks.com has formats compatible with just about any reading device you've got.

Roller Coaster Shipping Early + 25% Off Until Dec 31!

2011-12-24T02:19:00.000-08:00

Bella Books is shipping out the paperback version of Roller Coaster as an early holiday treat - and they've discounted it 25% through December 31. It won't be shipping from any other retailer until the middle of next month.

I've created an extensive excerpt at my web site of all of the prologue and a good chunk of chapter one to introduce you to two women I love: Helen Baynor and Laura Izmani. Both are accomplished professionals with a driving passion for their respective fields, but neither has found love. Helen hasn't been looking and isn't ready when passion erupts. Laura is willing to let love find her, but she's not looking in the right places.

This is the longest book of my career at over 100,000 words. I hope readers find the involved and detailed lives of these two women as engrossing as I did!

Happy reading and happy holidays to one and all. Your support over the many years means more than I could ever adequately express. So I'll keep it simple: Thank You.

Roller Coaster - Meet Laura and Helen!

2011-12-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

With the release of Roller Coaster just a few weeks away, I've created an extensive excerpt featuring the prologue and some of chapter one to introduce you to Laura Izmadi and Helen Baynor -- as they were when they first met and as they are now, twenty-three years later. I hope you'll enjoy the story.

Roller Coaster will be available from BellaBooks.com later this month and at all the usual booksellers for general release in January.

To read the excerpt, just click to go to the book page at my web site, then click "Excerpt from this Book" on the right to open the PDF.

Enhancements to my web site include a secure shopping cart to order signed books and specific lists to help you find out which of my books have been translated to Spanish, French and German. There are also specific lists to find out which books are available direct to Nook and Kindle. My goals is to help you find what you're looking for and let you know where you can get it.

Any and all "like" buttons you may click along the way will be greatly appreciated! Thank you, readers one and all, for all the support.

Barbara Grier, Reflections

2011-11-10T14:30:00.001-08:00

Barbara Grier had a quick wit. I don't believe I ever saw her at a loss for words. I was seated next to her at a banquet when she realized that the 2002 Lambda Literary Pioneer Award was being awarded to her and Donna. She muttered something to the effect that it would have been nice to have known so she could prepare decent remarks. Even so, her acceptance speech was cogent, on point...and perhaps she was just the tiniest bit flabbergasted. But definitely not at a loss for words.

Do I need to explain that Barbara and Donna were two of the founders of Naiad Press, which went on to be the longest-lived and largest of all the lesbian presses? That Barbara Grier and Donna McBride had been partners in everything since the early 70s? I hope not... But it's also possible that lesbians reading this blog have never heard of either woman or Naiad. But your life was touched by them nevertheless. Barbara, with Donna at her side, was one of those women of the lesbian movement who challenged oppression and saved lives through sheer force of personality and long, grueling decades of hard work.

This morning, at the age of 79, Barbara passed away in Florida due to complications of heart disease. She is survived by Donna McBride. The photograph above was taken in 2005 during Book Expo of America. Donna is on the left and Barbara the right, with Linda Hill of Bella Books in between. I know that Linda wouldn't want to intrude on this moment in time, but it's the only good photograph I have of Barbara and Donna. I've always looked at this picture and thought they were the perfect lesbian stealth operatives--they look like someone's grandmothers and more likely to bake you cookies than give you a copy of Pat Califia's Sapphistry or Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence.

To understand the contribution that Barbara and Donna made to lesbian books one has to be capable of imagining a world that had none. Rather, what lesbian books there were had been hidden, disguised and coded. A lesbian lucky enough to find pulp paperbacks at the bus station featuring a brooding brunette and the sunny blonde on the cover had found lesbians in books, but not lesbian books. With very few, notable exceptions such as Ann Bannon's Beebo Brinker titles, they founds stories about despair and ruin. Those books were read and left behind, because it wasn't safe for most women to be discovered reading them. The reader was left more certain than ever that her life was doomed.

There were no mysteries with lesbian detectives. No romances with happy women choosing lives together. No warriors, no princesses, no heroes (only villains). No literature that could be discussed in polite society. Then, out of a hotbed birthed by the early feminist and gay liberation movements, the Stonewall riots, and the meetings of notable minds who networked by letter because no one could afford phone calls, there was an explosion of lesbian books. In the middle of that explosion, and going on to survive the rigors of publishing the longest, was Naiad. Naiad published poetry, literary works and, thank goodness, popular fiction. Finally, lesbians could see themselves in the books. They saw themselves deserving happiness. Deserving respect. Deserving futures. Deserving to live.

Naiad was founded in 1974 in part because Barbara Grier believed that words matter and books are forever. She had a lifelong commitment to making lesbians in books visible. She did this with her own early lists of lesbiana where she detailed any book with lesbian content, no matter how minor. She did this by publishing books that, as Naiad's submission guidelines read, included lesbians who were "superior at once." By 1989, when I was first published by Naiad, I was a third-generation lesbian writer, one of hundreds who had found the books and a literary tradition that inspired their own creativity. I was one of tens of thousands of women who waited for the Naiad mailing, every month, because it was the only validation of our lesbian identity we could safely receive.

I don't know anyone who met Barbara Grier and was left feeling tepid. All the writers who knew her have at least one Barbara Grier story, most of them good, some of them negative. She had some very public disputes with other very strong women. She was nevertheless a savior to isolated lesbians all over the world, many of whom feel intense gratitude. I have no doubt that books save lives and Barbara and Donna put books into the lesbian universe at a rate no one in that era matched.

Since publishing this blog I've recalled the first time I met Barbara. She did then and always did remind me of my grandmother, that is, until one of her inventive and pithy curse words crept into the conversation. At that book event in San Francisco I shyly introduced myself first to Donna, who was standing next to Barbara. Donna boomed my name, shook my hand and then Barbara exclaimed, "It's the young California phenom!" And she laughed that famous half laugh-half giggle that I learned over time expressed her delight. She loved books and all things to do with them. My dealings with Barbara were always cordial. She always called me at 7 a.m. when I wasn't really awake, and I always said "Yes, Barbara" and "Where do I sign." Ergo, we got along famously.

I can't imagine my life not having intersected with Barbara Grier. Her impact on me is in my warp and weft, from the first lesbian books I read to conversations we shared, though they weren't that many. I wish her all good speed to wherever her force of nature energy goes from here. Wherever that may be, it will never be the same.