gonegirlgo™

A New Home - www.gonegirlgo.com

2012-08-20T23:45:00.001-04:00

The past few months have been amazing. I started this journey in January 2012 not sure of where I would go or what would be.

I never thought in a million years that a simple phrase would come to mean so much.

I remember when I started designing the logo. I had the idea that these words would have energy and movement behind them. I'm no graphic designer, but I was determined to keep communicating, designing, and sharing until it became what it was supposed to become.

Initial Logo

Current Logo

When I look back at the first draft of the logo, I laugh but I also smile. You gotta start somewhere.

The emergence and growth of GoneGirlGo signified a turning point in my life. It was time for me to do things differently. It was time for me stop being scared. It was time for me to lean into discomfort. It was time for me to challenge myself to grow.

My hope is that GoneGirlGo has come to mean something to you as well. You may not have participated in the learning experience Challenge Me to Grow. You may have only read one blog post. You may skimmed some of my tweets or Facebook posts. You may have wondered what was this all about. You may have thought it was not for you. But somewhere in your wondering, you got something. Something stuck. You made a connection. You felt what I feel every time I say GoneGirlGo.

Well, I couldn't stop here. I had to keep going. God put more in my heart about this than I realized. I've been working on clarifying the message. I've been working on creating a virtual home for the movement. I have been working on something just for you.

I am honored to share with you the GoneGirlGo website.

Blogspot was a proving ground for me. I have never done anything like this before, but because I was eager to learn and do something new, I began to feel confident that I could advance to another level. I am using WordPress for the new site and it has been a journey. I'm not a web developer or all that technical so some of this was hard. But once I got over my fear, I was able to figure things out. (Well at least enough so I could actually publish a basic website.)

Right now the website contains just a few tools to encourage you to push forward your ideas and go impact the world.

There's a calendar with strategies to make your M-W-F a GoneGirlGo kind of day.

There's a Challenge Me to Grow Resource of the Month for you to download for free.

There's all of the blog posts from this site.

And there's much more to come. You can look forward to more content, more connection, more community. There's even a Facebook page where we can extend our dialogue, share our stories, encourage one another, and challenge each other to grow.

Do me a favor. Keep this in mind. I'm still trying to figure things out. This is a work that will always be in progress. It will never be finished. And that's o.k. with me. (Cause when it's finished it's over.) Do me another favor. When you visit the new site, make sure to subscribe by email. It's simple.

So explore the new home of GoneGirlGo. Click, read, suggest, think, explore, comment, connect, and share. It's a place where you are welcome to be and become who you are.

Peace

This site will remain open, but I will no longer post anything here after this. (I'm kinda sad...)

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: LATORIA

2012-08-11T06:20:00.002-04:00

I started Cleveland State University’s Diversity Management Program back in 2000 with DMP 3. Needless to say, I didn’t finish until 2007. I was distracted a little by life. I got the urge to go back so I ended up taking my last class with DMP 10. That’s when I met Tori. She was and still is a firecracker. Her energy, enthusiasm, and love for God, makes me smile. I wanna be like Tori when I grow up. Enough said. Here’s her story:

In 2007, Cultivating Pearl, LLC was just a vision to a young lady in her early 20’s. I could literally see communities of women looking to live a life free from their past, who were ready and relentless to pursue authenticity. Although my vision lived inside of me, it never seemed to actually come forward. It took me years after my first attempt to launch Cultivating Pearl.

My first proposal was to my ministry leader at the church I attended at the time. She passed my proposal to our First Lady which I just knew was a good sign. That meeting left me very discouraged. I was told I wasn’t ready to take on something so big, and to be honest, at that time they were right.

I went on years after, steady writing and planning to someday see my burning passion birthed. It seemed that every time I attempted to move forward in what I knew was purposed to do, I ran into brick wall after brick wall. I was told everything from my vision was too big to we’re not going to be able to help you.

One day it hit me! I was looking for validation from people and organizations that had absolutely nothing to do with what I was responsible for contributing to the world. It wasn’t until I realized that my vision was just that….MINE. No one else would be able to see it quite the way I do because it belonged to me. I had to sit down and have a heart to heart with myself. It went something like this:

“Alright Tori listen, not only do you have the credentials to do this but you have the experience, your heart is in the right place, and you are passionate about what you do. Tori you can do this! Stop looking for people to validate you.”

No one can permit you to do what you were born to do. As of June 2012 Cultivating Pearl, LLC is no longer kicking me in the middle of the night. It is alive and well. If you are reading this knowing that you have something inside of you that has passed its due date, do the world a favor and GoneGirlGo! We are all waiting to receive what only you have to offer.

Latoria Polite, MA, CDP

Check out Cultivating Pearl at http://cultivatingpearls.onsugar.com/. Tori offers fresh perspective and insight into relationships, pursuing your purpose, esteem, style, and much more. Follow Cultivating Pearl on Twitter @P_E_A_R_Life . She does these Twitter chats that focus on relevant topics (even though I’m Twitter challenged, I try to participate!) Like her on Facebook too at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cultivating-Pearl-llc/186286648078110.

Peace.

SO HERE I AM.

2012-08-08T01:20:00.000-04:00

Isn't it amazing the number of seasons we go through during our lifetime? From the womb to the innocence of childhood, then onto the adventure of adulthood – life is a truly amazing journey. Like I’ve said before, life is fun but hard and I am convinced that in order to fully experience all that life has to offer, you have to have both. The hard parts of life should challenge you to grow.

Recently I have been in a constant cycle of being challenged to grow. Shifting my career focus has challenged me to grow. Being a parent to older children has challenged me to grow. Working in an actual office has challenged me to grow. Wrestling with relationships has challenged me to grow. And of course, pushing forward GoneGirlGo has challenged me to grow.

SO HERE I AM.

In another season of life, being challenged to take what started out as a simple blog to another level. This territory is VERY unknown to me. I'm a fish out of water, but I'm determined to figure it all out. I will be launching gonegirlgo.com very soon. I’m nervous, satisfied, overwhelmed, and curious all at the same time.

I’m nervous because I’m new to all of this and I know that I will make some mistakes.
I’m satisfied that I haven’t reached my destination yet, but I have embraced where I am on this journey – the beginning.
I’m overwhelmed because I have to work a 9 to 5 in order to keep pushing this movement forward.
I’m curious to know what is right now unknown. I'm curious to know how you will receive gonegirlgo.com.

I'm packing my bags and getting ready
to move to a new site.

You can help me deal with all of these emotions by doing me a favor. I created a brief survey to get your feedback about gonegirlgo.com. Your comments on the blog, Facebook and Twitter have meant a lot to me. I want to make sure that I keep listening to what you say. Click here to complete the short survey.

I will keep you posted on the move of GoneGirlGo to its new home. It will be within the next couple of weeks. I really want you to continue the journey with me so that we can keep challenging each other to grow.

As always, peace.

THE PERFECT PLATFORM TO STAND ON

2012-07-17T00:34:00.000-04:00

I wrote this in 1996 to describe how I experienced life as a big ideas thinker:

Thoughts explode in my mind while I am trying to sleep causing urges of insomnia.

Guilt collides into my being because of these exploding thoughts that I let turn into duds.

I remember feeling so disappointed in myself because I wouldn’t execute my ideas. And of course, that disappointment would turn into guilt and shame. It was very difficult walking around with all of that,but for years I chose to live with this because I refused to do anything with all those ideas that I had in my head. As a reformed big ideas thinker, I realize that being realistic is important and having a plan is critical, but being afraid to take an initial risk is ridiculous. My fear kept me bound and caused my big ideas to turn into duds.

What I am learning now is that having an idea isn’t enough. You have to have the guts.You have to have the wherewithal. You have to have stamina. You have to have a lot more than just a love of generating ideas. Here’s what else I’ve discovered that you have to have to push forward your ideas:

THE PERFECT PLATFORM TO STAND ON!

A PLATFORM. As much as I love shoes, I can honestly say that I’m not referring to my favorite type of shoes (besideswedges, of course) – platforms. The platform I’m referring to here is a belief that you can stand on. It includesyour message, your principles, your values that you want communicate to others. When I wrote my first blog, I didn’trealize that I was establishing a platform that encouraged idea execution. I was just sharing my experiences pushing forward my ideas. As I continued to explore the concepts and ideas that I came across, I realized that idea execution was my platform. Everything that gonegirlgo stands for relates to this very topic. You may have noticed that some of my Facebook postings and Tweets focus on motivating others to execute their ideas. Having a platform has helped shape the direction of the movement. I am able to focus on a central theme in my work rather than a several themes which for me can be overwhelming. If you want to learn more about establishing a platform you should check out Michael Hyatt and his book, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World.

A BIAS TOWARD ACTION. ScottBelsky says “While you may enjoy generating brilliant ideas and imagining new possibilities, you must approach every occasion of creativity with a dose of skepticism and a bias toward action.” I must admit, I’m still developing in this area. After years of not having a bias toward action, I will continue to say that there a few things that I need to unlearn so that I have a relentless bias toward action. Here’s what I constantly tell myself - Keep working at it. Keep pursing organization. Keep demanding protection of your time. Keep reflecting on your behaviors. Keep trying to change. Keep honing your focus. Keep developing wherewithal. Keep connecting with others. Keep pushing forward. And of course, gonegirlgo.

A SOCIALMEDIA STRATEGY. I am a member of Generation X, roughly those of us who were born in the late 60’s through the early 80’s. We did not grow up with computers in the classroom. We weren’t even exposed to Myspace in high school like my own kids. Facebook became our social media tool of choice just a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology, but I’m a little late getting on the social media bandwagon. I actually fought against tweeting for 2 years! Now, I see the potential social media has, especially as an informal learning tool. But I’m still perplexed. How do I wrap my head around so many different social media platforms? Which platform will serve my purpose? When do I have time to use any of these platforms? Because I am exploring how to develop an internet based business, I decided to secure a social media strategist. Matt’s been helping me sort it all out.

I’m on my way. I’m in no rush. I have a platform. I’m developing a relentless bias toward action. I’m considering ways to use social media. I’m pushing forward. And I’m grateful that I can, even now.

Peace

WHAT'S ON MY HEART AND MY MIND

2012-07-05T11:22:00.001-04:00

There are times when I wonder if people really know what this movement is about and do they really get it? My desire is to communicate with clarity and conviction that this movement is for a niche of women who need encouragement, support, resources, and tools to make their ideas happen. Some may question "why women" or "why ideas"? Both of are connected to my story. If you go back and read my early posts, I think you'll get a sense of why I am so compelled to remain faithful to this niche. I believe that there are so many women out there like me who just need a little push. A little word of encouragement. A little spark. A little peek into the unknown. I hope these women are saying to themselves, “If Zoe is pushing forward her ideas then so can I.”

What started as a verbal affirmation is evolving into a conduit of support. As time goes by and the more I learn, I see this movement becoming more than what I ever thought it could be. There’s just something about being in this mode of pushing ideas forward. I see possibilities. I see connections. I see things that I've never seen before. This isn’t to say that I got it all together or have all the answers. I get bogged down with my tendency to over analyze situations. I get distracted by my life. I get discouraged when things don’t go as planned. I hate it when people are mean and find myself channeling Rodney King, “Can we all just get along?” (That’s a lot to carry, but I do and it gets heavy sometimes…anyway). Despite these hurdles, there’s something that keeps me pushing forward. It’s inside of me and it won’t go away.

I don’t know why I started this post like this. It’s not what I intended to write about initially. I guess when you have something on your heart, no matter how hard you try to ignore that issue it’s bound to come out. Thanks for listening to what's on my heart. Now let me tell you what's on my mind.

THE 5 ESSENTIAL ACTIONS OF
CHALLENGE ME TO GROW

This post is really about a new tool that I found that really excites me. It’s a technique that can be used to address 2 of the Essential Actions of Challenge Me to Grow

QUESTION THE IDEA
MAP THE IDEA

It’s called Starbursting and it provides a framework for questioning your idea (or issue, problem, challenge, etc.). The key to the technique is generating as many questions as you can about your idea without answering them. It’s supposed to help you understand the scope of your idea more fully. Learn more about the technique by clicking here: Starbursting - Brainstorming Techniques from MindTools.com.

I haven’t used it yet, but you know I will. And when I do, I will share my take on it. If you use it, please share your take too because I would love to hear how it helped you push your idea forward.

Peace

WHAT'S IN MY TREASURE-TROVE

2012-06-25T16:21:00.000-04:00

I have been pushing forward this movement a little over six months. I still struggle with a few things. You know those self-imposed barriers that I have to unlearn before I can learn new habits? Six months hasn't been long enough for me to overcome procrastination and follow-through, those biggies that I must continue to push out of my way.

I can say that I have learned a lot by connecting with people and being an avid explorer of the World Wide Web. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t come across a cool resource, tool, or person. So I thought I would share with you 5 GOLDEN NUGGETS that are in my treasure-trove.

The 99% – In February, I goggled how to make your ideas happen and was led to this book, Making Ideas Happen. After I read the free portions of the book, I ordered it without hesitation. I was blown away by Scott Belsky and his ability to capture my thinking about pushing ideas forward. I clicked another link and ended up on The 99% - the think tank of Behance. The 99% is a treasure trove of articles, tips, and videos on topics that are relevant and meaningful to this movement. It’s definitely my #1, go to Web site.
The Action Method – It’s a tool created by Behance and explained extensively in Making Ideas Happen. Because I have so many projects on my plate, I need to maintain organization at all times. Once I step away from a system, I’m all out of whack. This is a system that works for me. (I just have to stick to using it.) As a matter of fact, I’m going to order the Action Journal as soon as I’m done writing this post.
Diigo.com – I needed an online bookmarking tool to keep track of my web resources. I found a list of social bookmarking tools and checked them all out. Diigo stood out because it had very cool features like the ability to highlight text, take notes, upload images, connect with communities, and create groups. It was also easy to use. I created the gonegirlgo Virtual Resource Library (VRL) which currently contains over 75 web resources related to the movement and will be accessible only to Challenge Me to Grow participants this fall.
Blogs have become a necessary component of my personal learning network, especially in the area of social media and entrepreneurship. Keeping up with them is overwhelming at times because there’s so much to make meaning of. Every once in a while, I come across a blog written just for me. Today I came across this one by Matt Ruddman - How to Blog to Discover your Profitable Ideas. He’s got something here, at least something that I found valuable. I met Matt at a coaching showcase presented by the Cleveland Coach Federation. He’s a social media strategist and coach. He hosts a Social Media Call every Wednesday at 12 p.m. est. Trust me, he’s a go-to for all things social media.
This TEDTalk is one of my favorites. Eve Ensler, writer of the play, The Vagina Monologue, speaks eloquently about the power of being a girl. She suggests that “being a girl is so powerful that we had to train everyone not to be that.” She also shares the stories of girls from around the world who have overcome some overwhelming odds. This video is very befitting of this movement so I included it as a curriculum resource of Challenge Me to Grow.

In my past time, I create inspirational messages that define gonegirlgo. You may have noticed them if you are my Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter @zoelyf1. The one that I repeat to myself frequently is - How will you know unless you push forward and go? It’s so true. I wouldn’t have found these 5 golden nuggets, if I hadn’t of embarked on this journey. I wonder what golden nuggets you will find when you embark on yours.

Peace

A NEW RITUAL

2012-06-12T11:08:00.000-04:00

At the end of Challenge Me to Grow two weeks ago, I asked the group to sum up their experience by sharing lessons that they are learning, lessons that they have learned, and lessons that they want to teach others. It's an evaluation strategy that promotes self-reflection by examining learning progress and outcomes, and generating teachable moments. I was encouraged to hear the group share how they wanted to continue growing, be more transparent, and build their capacity to push their ideas forward.

Anything that I have the group do, I do it myself. It’s good for me to put myself in the participants’ shoes during this pilot phase. I can learn how the group experiences the activities. It helps me consider if the activities are worthwhile and accomplish what I intend them to. And based on this formative evaluation process, I can tweak whatever needs to be tweaked. So I shared a lesson that I’m learning just to get a taste of the experience. It felt good to engage in some healthy disclosure with the group and put my instruction to the test.

A few days after the session, I couldn’t help but think about this activity and the potential it had to help me gain some clarity about this movement. Based on my experiences pushing gonegirlgo forward so far, here’s some personal disclosure about the lessons that I'm learning, lessons that I've learned, and a lesson that I want to teach others.

LESSONS THAT I AM LEARNING

· It is important for me to build the capacity to be a focused, disciplined, logistical, and rational dreamer. It's one thing to generate ideas; it's a whole entirely different game to execute them. I must commit myself to stick with my system for idea execution. The Action Method works for me, but I got a little lazy and stopped using it. Because I am the creative, dreamer type, I have to force myself to be relentless about organizing the movement as a project and focusing on action items that I need to accomplish. The bottom line is I need to stay on point. Things can get out of hand pretty quickly if and when I don’t stick to the system.

· Procrastinating, stinking thinking, and operating without a purpose are barriers that I created within myself; therefore, I can work to eliminate them within myself. I have an issue with external barriers. I am learning how not to let them defeat me. Here’s my short list of things that I am learning to do when I’m pushing an idea forward and the odds seem against me:

1. be patient

2. go back and read the notes I took months ago to refocus

3. devise a plan to overcome the odds, if they are scalable

4. if the odds aren’t scalable, let that idea go

5. lay down and take a nap

· Never in a million years did I think I would get this bug, but I got it. It’s called entrepreneurship. I used to shun the word and anything associated with it. Now, I am more open to exploring opportunities. I am also learning that I always had it in me. Circumstances like unemployment and survival brought it out. But for me it’s not just about becoming monetized. It’s also about making impact, making a difference, and doing my part to make this world better. gonegirlgo came from a good place and I had no clue that it would lead me down the entrepreneurial path. So every time an idea or opportunity to promote the movement pops into my head, I remind myself where the movement came from - A GOOD PLACE.

LESSONS THAT I’VE LEARNED

· I think that I can gauge interest through social media, but I have learned that I can’t gauge commitment through it. Let me explain. I won’t put in the time or energy to create an event in FB. If I send out an invite to 174 people, and 50 say they are coming, I shouldn’t get excited because 12 are going to show up. I have learned that the FB “join” sometimes means “I’m happy to see you doing something” and FB “like” sometimes means “I’m curious”. It helps to consider how to add a personal touch to an invite or FB connection. Inbox, phone calls, and email follow up helps. Just because people click like, doesn’t mean that they are ready to commit.

· Experience has taught me that community is one of the most powerful tools that exist to help me push my ideas forward. Do you agree? It’s one way for me to maintain a system of checks and balances. I am more inclined to push forward my ideas when I am a part of a community that encourages, offers help, and provides feedback. I used to believe that all I needed was a cheerleader on my team. Cheerleader types are great for encouragement, but it’s the coach types who keep you on your toes by asking you the hard questions. Scott Belsky writes about the dreamer, the doer, and the incrementalist in his book, Making Ideas Happen. The dreamer needs the doer the help her follow through. The doer needs the dreamer to help her dream of new ideas. The incrementalist plays both roles, but can be involved in too many projects “simply because they can”. The point is, if I am going to push forward my ideas, forge partnerships, and create effective collaborations, I need a dreamer, doer, and incrementalist in my life.

A LESSON THAT I WANT TO TEACH

· We all know the term “hater” (if you don’t, click here for the definition). I don’t think that we would admit that we are haters, but because we are human, we all have the potential and propensity to hate on someone else. Whatever our reasons are for being a hater (especially those of us who are haters on the down low), we need to deal with them. I want to help by designing a learning experience that influences us to transcend those feelings of envy, jealousy, and hate. (Please note: I am fighting the urge to call this experience Turning Hateration into Inspiration because it rhymes.)

It’s been almost 6 months since the movement began and I'm happy to report that I still have room for growth. I know that I’m definitely different than I used to be. I still have the passion to challenge others to grow through gonegirlgo . And I especially like the idea of making these three poignant questions a ritual of the process:

What lessons am I learning?
What lessons have I learned?
What lessons do I want to teach others?

I think I’ll also ask myself these questions on a regular too.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: VANESSA

2012-05-15T18:07:00.000-04:00

Olivia's Daughter,
Vanessa Jordan

I’ve known Vanessa for a few years. We go to New Community Bible Fellowship and workout at True Image Fitness together. We’ve talked and mingled a little in the same circle, but I can’t say that we have been especially close. As an acquaintance, I knew that she had a heart for God. I also knew that she encountered a few trials and tribulations in her life that I’m sure changed her forever.

Recently, Vanessa and I have been connecting through our written words. I don’t know how I stumbled upon her blog, but when I did, I was so impressed with her transparency and honesty. Reading her words made me feel close to her. I don’t remember when and how we connected through gonegirlgo. I’m glad though because Vanessa is one of my biggest cheerleaders and I didn’t realize how much until today:

She has commented on several of my posts.
She has mentioned gonegirlgo in her blog a few times.
She attended the 1st Challenge Me to Grow Kick-Off, even though she broke her foot that same week.
She signed up to participate in the Challenge Me to Grow pilot.
She has been to every event that I have been involved with over the past few months.

Now that’s what I call support.

When I asked her to share her story, I didn’t realize how much it would impact me. I didn't realize how much she would impact me. She is amazing and so I had to represent her story differently. I created a video using PowerPoint. Click the arrow to play the video. Click pause, if you need to slow the video down a little.

I look forward to what God has in store for me and Vanessa's new found friendship. It’s reassuring me about a few things in my life. Please follow Vanessa’s blog. It’s awesome. It's her. http://www.vjordan79.blogspot.com/.

Peace

TAKE STOCK OFTEN

2012-05-10T11:09:00.001-04:00

I’m not sure how often it should be done, but taking stock of your life regularly is a good thing to do. It’s like taking inventory of your life. It includes examining the goods that are in abundant supply, and the goods that need replenishing. Taking stock also involves looking back to see how far you have come (your position), and recognizing where you are now so that you can create a vision of where you want to go (direction).

Reading past journal entries helps me
to take stock

Let’s start with examining those goods. By goods, I don’t necessarily mean material possessions, but those assets and resources that dwell within your soul and spirit. Some of us refer to them as the fruits of the spirit – love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self–control. Lately, I have been thinking about how these “goods” are displayed in my life.Since I have been pushing forward this movement, I have been more like Martha than Mary. I realize that if gonegirlgo is going to make impact, I need to go back to cultivating these goods or tending to these fruit in my garden.

This makes me recall a previous post when I said, “My experience has taught me that a person who desires to push their ideas and dreams forward can’t if they are living by default.” So I am taking stock in this area of my life, right now and I have to ask myself this question, “Am I living by default?”

I have held onto this thought for years.

For those of you who work or have worked in environments where goods are bought and sold, what would you say about taking inventory? Is it fun? Does it require time? How much time does it take to complete the process? Do you need some type of checklist to use as a guide? What does it feel like as you’re doing it? What does it feel like when it is done? Asking yourself these questions will help you make sense of taking stock in this area of your life.

This one is a great reminder
of how I used to think.

Now let’s look at taking stock of your position and direction. When I look back at my position as a big ideas thinker a few years ago, I appreciate the progress that I have made. I absolutely love the fact that I am no longer a dreamer afraid that my dreams will turn into nightmares and haunt me or that my ideas would be duds. Executing my ideas has been liberating and exciting. The energy, vibrancy, and wherewithal that I had when I was a little girl are back! Looking back at my past “then” helps me look forward to my future “then”. Looking back also helps me to regroup, refocus, and rewind. I have a better sense of where I want to go (direction). And to top it off, there’s a sweetness in my soul knowing that I am pushing forward in my purpose and that my ideas are encouraging others.

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to help you make sense of taking stock of your position and direction: Am I okay with where I have landed in life? What feelings get invoked when I recall where I was? What feelings get invoked when I think about where I am now? Are those feelings different? Has my thinking changed at all? What does it feel like now that I am living my purpose?

I was so fearful about sharing my
writing back then.

Writing this was good for me. I hope reading it is good for you. Remember to take stock often. And of course, push forward and go.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: NIYIA

2012-04-30T23:19:00.000-04:00

Niyia is a really good friend of my sister Nikki. I remember when we first met. This was about the time that I was facilitating God’s Beauty Shop and she had an etiquette school for girls. We talked on and on about our passion to help women and girls realize their true beauty. I didn’t know that one day our paths would cross again and that we would engage in a few projects together. I just love my “sis”. She’s energetic, spirited, down-to-earth, and motivated to push her ideas forward. She recently appeared in the play, "If You Knew Better,You'd Better Do Better". As an image and style coach, she is always pushing the message about the value of having true style. Whenever I see her, I am immediately drawn in by her gracious smile. I appreciate having such a vibrant person in my circle. Trust me, she keeps me pushing forward by living a gonegirlgo life!

Niyia wants to share the process that she went through that gave birth to her idea and vision, HIS Style. Here’s Niyia’s story:

At some point in my life I realized that I had to change being directed by my emotions and allowing them to trigger my insecurities. My response was terrible and a huge contradiction of who I thought I was - a stylish and polished lady! My response only displayed that I was capable of being loud, immature, revengeful, and strong in the wrong areas. One night in March 2011, I was up crying and having a pity party all by me because my inappropriate response cost me a relationship that I wanted to work. My reaction weighed on me deeply. I prayed and asked God, “How could this have gone differently? Please show me how to be better. Why can’t I say what I see just the way I see it? Am I supposed to ‘fix’ myself to make others comfortable with me? What is wrong with my direct approach?”

Being patient is not one of my strongest attributes. I was forced to wait on the answer. About 30 days passed and I got my answer. The answer was so simple. Are you ready? DRUM ROLL… He told me that just as much effort as I put into my outward style I need to put into my inward style! That was it! Doing those things that I was taught – being fly, having nice things, cooking a fabulous meal, or keeping my house spotless didn’t mean a thing if I were empty, dying in the inside, and displaying every image, but the one He gave me. All I could say was “Wow!” That very night HIS Style was born and my pain became fuel, and my mistake became my blessing.

HIS Style is a seminar that I developed to help women learn how to be response-able by identifying their cycle of inappropriate responses, and bad decision making that causes us to “blow down” or shut down. My desire is for women to get on beat with HIS heart so that we conduct ourselves with HIS Style no matter what issue arises. When we acquire HIS Style we can walk in the fullness of who we are and let go of the baggage that makes us so insecure.

Life challenges for many of us result in a push forward and may even lead to an idea to do something like Niyia described in her story. If she hadn’t experienced that tumultuous period, HIS Style may not have ever been born. I am excited about the first HIS Style seminar which takes place on Saturday, May 5, 2012 in Chagrin Falls Ohio. Tickets are $15.00 and can be purchased in advance. Contact Niyia at (216) 820-0711 or visit her website at www.uniquelyniyia.com for more information. Every woman who attends the workshop will receive a HIS Style Manual to remind them of how to move with style in everyday situations.

Keep the gonegirlgo stories coming. They inspire us all to push forward and go.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: DR. MARY JO ODOM

2012-04-23T12:07:00.000-04:00

When this movement began, so much of it centered on the process of exploring my inner self. During this heavy self-reflective time, I discovered four components of gonegirlgo that were essential if I was going to push forward and go. If you think back to those earlier posts, you will recall:

1. Refuse to live by default

2. Push against self-imposed barriers

3. Be a reformed procrastinator (This has since changed, but that's another post.)

4. Make meaning for yourself

The Core Action: Work on Your Inner Self is an
ongoing action in Challenge Me to Grow.

I felt compelled to get to the core of my issues and the reasons why I held myself back for so long. It was refreshing and in the process, I discovered that this movement had been germinating in my spirit for a long time. This realization and the things that God allowed to happen accidentally on purpose really pushed me forward to explore what the possibilities of the movement could be. What resulted is a learning solution called Challenge Me to Grow and at the core of the curriculum is the action Work on Your Inner Self.

I am convinced that 90% of our problem pushing our ideas forward is wrapped up in our inability to get past the internal mess that we have created in our being. We are our worst enemy. We put up roadblocks in our minds, let our thoughts hold us captive, and create stories about ourselves that just aren’t true. This next story is from a really good friend of mine who has experienced what we all have experienced – inner turmoil that prevented her from living the gonegirlgo life. Here is Mary Jo and her story. She wants to tell you how she worked on her inner self so that she could push forward her idea.

I wore masks to hide, because internally I was dying. I wore masks to hide the pain and to deal with people and challenges.

In one period of my life, I experienced a lot of challenges, but I tried to still be strong for family, friends, and co-workers. My best friend was dying of cancer. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. My other son was completing his second year of college. My abusive marriage was ending in divorce. I was worrying about my niece in the Iraq war. To top things off, I was completing my PhD. To deal with the pain, I isolated myself mainly because I didn’t want anyone to see that I didn’t have it together this time. Family and friends was used to leaning on me, but now I couldn’t even hold myself up. One day my best friend dying of cancer said to me, “You are dying inside and I can see it all destroying the beauty that is you. If I could only live life over again.” His words still resonate in me.

As I look back, I think of a quote from Tony Robbins - “Change is never a matter of ability, but a matter of motivation”. I needed to change and my friend’s death was the motivation to make it happen. The first thing I did was returned to church because addressing my spiritual needs was essential. I also found a therapist who helped me deal with my inner turmoil. One of the most powerful moments with her was when she asked to describe myself. I told her, “I wear the mask. I don’t know who I am. My identity has always been attached to my parents, children, husband, and friends”. She then asked me to draw and name all the masks that I wore and much to my surprise I came up with 23 masks. I named, described, and rationalized each mask. Her response to me was, “You must be tired.” At that moment, I realized that changing the masks daily was draining. The baggage I have carried most of my life meant meeting the needs of others and living up to everyone’s expectation and not having any expectations of me. My identity was attached to their wants, desires, and tasks.

I went through several other exercises with my therapist that helped me navigate who I was. I started keeping a journal of people, places and things that made me happy. Keeping note and learning about the true person inside became a project. I studied myself and discovered the subject of “me” was fascinating. Attached to my destiny was finding either new employment or creating something that would stir something within me. I began to consider diversity because it was a subject I studied as part of my PhD specialization. I prayed about it and God said, “Why can’t you use what I gave you in my house?”

Then I started to conduct research and discovered only 5% of religious organizations were racially integrated. The work I did in the secular community regarding diversity started changing my perspective about the church. I realized that this was bigger than me and that I would be the first to do this work. I understood that God’s grace would see me through and it would be for His glory. So the work began. I updated my knowledge through research on historical information, current data, and biblical principles. I discussed diversity and began to train Pastors on the implications of diversity in the church. I started teaching at a Christian University, and training Christian organizations. I began to write "The First Christian Diversity Handbook: Heaven Is Not Segregated”. I have completed my book and it is currently in the editing process. Now my days are filled with moving forward and I have addressed and healed the internal issues. Because of my healing, I am editing my book, conducting workshops, running my organization Vesicle Learning Inc., and working on the next phase. There are still hurdles to jump; however, I keep my journal near to read it over again and add new things that I discover to encourage and motivate myself to move. Please visit my website at http://www.vesiclelearning.com for more information about a biblical perspective of diversity.

Mary Jo’s story touches me because of her honest disclosure about seeking professional help. I am reminded of an event that I recently attended at Case Western University – The Road to Recovery Mental Health Forum. The guest speaker was Terrie Williams, the author of Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting. Her foundation – The Stay Strong Foundation are pushing forward the message that it is okay for us to seek professional help when you are experiencing inner turmoil. I believe that many of us don't push forward our ideas because our inner turmoil runs real deep. So if necessary, let's be brave and get the help that we need so that we can do the work that we were assigned to do.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: IMANI

2012-04-19T01:28:00.000-04:00

My one wish throughout the development of this movement has been that it would profoundly impact women. I haven't conducted any research or taken any polls, but based on the feedback that I have been getting on Facebook and Twitter, gonegirlgo is creating a little stir in my itty bitty corner of the universe (or so I believe). There's energy, momentum, and lots of excitement pushing the movement forward. It's amazing how my conversations with others about the movement radiate this energy, momentum, and excitement. It cracks me up thinking about conversations that I have had with different women about their ideas which end in the final, conclusive statement, "gonegirlgo!"

But what is even more meaningful is the effect that the movement is having on women who are close to me. My mom and I have been connecting more deeply. So have me and my sister, Missy. The movement has widened the door for me to connect with my oldest daughter, Imani who at the tender age of 22, is establishing her identity and exploring her possibilities. We talk a lot about the ideas that she wants to execute. She's determined to push forward a project showcasing her artistic talents. What that says to me is that this movement is for women of all ages. That's the target audience - women of all ages.

The other day, Imani shared with me an Instagram message that she posted. I was so touched by her honesty, clarity, and determination to define her movement. She's living the gonegirlgo life too and I wanted to share this snapshot of her story that is just beginning. Check out my boo:

When Imani shared with me her desire to become a great makeup artist, I will admit that I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to take the road that I took. I wanted her to conform to my expectations. At some point, I realized that I needed to let her push forward and go. It was hard, but very necessary. She is pushing forward so that she can go impact her world. I'm proud of her and that's cool with me.

Peace

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: RA'NESHA

2012-04-16T23:28:00.003-04:00

It's been a while, I know, since I last posted something on the blog. Being a consistent blogger is a challenge, especially when you are trying to maintain a bias toward action.The movement is not gonegirlwrite. (It could be though, now that I think about. You make meaning of this movement for yourself. Your "go" is action - whatever that action is supposed to be then go ahead and do it!) Anyway, I wish I could write all day long, but at some point, I have to execute; I have to push forward and go.

So I am executing this thing, right? I've married the movement with my purpose and passion which has resulted in the development of a niche training program. I've held two Kick-Off sessions of the Challenge Me to Grow Blended Learning Experience. The pilot of Challenge Me to Grow actually starts in a couple of weeks. There are about 10 women ready to go. The website is in the works and there are some other goodies in development that make me way too excited.

While all of this is happening, I can't help but notice the women who I am encountering on a regular. They are really my inspiration. Observing and listening to them, gives me a reason to do what I do. Some are ready to go. There are others whose pilot lights are just being ignited. While others are already taking action. They are determined, energetic, and motivated. They want to be a blessing to others. They want to leave behind a legacy that their children can be proud of. They are gonegirlgo personified.

These next series of posts will feature women who are living the gonegirlgo life. I believe that the power of their stories will definitely encourage others to push forward and go.

Meet Ra'Nesha Wilson, a University of Akron graduate who has her own consulting firm, The Springer Group, LLC. At some point in her life she wanted to make a change and do something different. She wanted to push forward her idea so that she could go impact the world. This is her story.

Zoe: What idea popped into your head?

I am free-spirited. I believe that
nothing in life is hard when you live life
to the fullest and end everyday with a
smile despite circumstance. I believe it is
important to pray first than take action.
Ra'Nesha Wilson

Ra’Nesha: It was time for me to invest more into the community. I was not placed on this earth to be selfish and be all about me. I became involved in an annual community action project of Dress for Success Cleveland called the Prom Project “Once in a Lifetime”. The goal of the project is to give two deserving female high school students the most memorable prom regardless of their families’ financial hardships. We secured donations from successful entrepreneurs in the Cleveland area including, gift cards, spa gift baskets filled with tons of goodies and surprises, hair and nails done by Anntwinette as Salon Productions, a senior photo shoot by Joseph White of Studio J. Photography, Box Bag Purses donated by Michelle Crawford, Mary Kay lip gloss and fragrances donated by Clotea Mack, strawberries donated by Ronnie, the owner of The Pink Strawberry, and a full facial makeover with Shannon Hamilton of Mary Kay. In addition, each young woman will be presented with a check to purchase their prom dress and other accessories.

Zoe: What were some of the questions that you asked yourself that helped you dig a little deeper to explore the possibilities of your idea?

The Five Essential Actions of
Challenge Me to Grow

Ra’Nesha: What is the need? How can I be an asset to others? Would I rather be part of the solution or the person who only complains without action? I remain focused and motivated by realizing that some things are bigger than me and it is not always about me. It is about the person whose life I can change by giving a small token of my time.

Zoe: What process did you use to map it out and get yourself organized?

Ra’Nesha: I created a vision board because it is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality.

Zoe: Who did you share your idea with?

Ra’Nesha: I shared my idea with Joandra Wilson (sister), Lauren Miller (mentor), Jeffrey Springer (boyfriend), Marlin Martin (friend), Howard Payton (family member/mentor), Carmen Hawkins (past delegate of Dress for Success). They supported me in various ways by helping me clearly define my vision and providing monetary support.

I pray that my idea will have a positive impact and motivate others to give. I must say the ability to assist someone in need is truly a blessing and very fulfilling to me. So far I have received many calls from people I don’t know thanking me and letting me know they are praying for me.

Zoe: What does executing your idea feel like?

Ra’Nesha: Unbelievable. I am so graciously thankful.

If you are interested in donating to the Prom Project, click this link
http://www.dressforsuccess.org/affiliate.aspx?sisid=19&pageid=22. Click the PayPal link and make sure to type “CAP” as the Purpose so that your contribution is applied to the Prom Project.

See. There's no reason to be fearful about that idea that popped into your head. Your idea contributes to the greater good and it inspires someone else. Live the gonegirlgo life. Push forward and go.

Peace

OK. NO STRESS.

2012-03-28T00:26:00.000-04:00

Workshop design finalized on Monday. Made copies on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday all is well. Friday. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Fear of the Unknown. No projector. Ok. No stress. Got projector and other last minute items. Late night Friday. Early rise Saturday. Wanted everything to be just right. Ok. No Stress. Hadn't finished some minor things. Ok. No stress. Got in the shower later than anticipated. Ok. No stress. Arrived on time. No time to set up. Folks arrived early. Ok. No stress. We all pitched in to set up the room. Salema set up organic baked goods. Mom regulated. Dawn looked out. Rollers out of my hair. Let's go. Welcome. Icebreaker broke the ice. Small groups formed. Dialogue. Engagement. Interaction. Laughs. Smiles. Broke down the blended learning experience. Level 1 - Explorer. Level 2 - Pathfinder. Level 3 - Go-Getter. Face-to-face. Webinar. Online Lesson. Virtual Resource Library. One-on-one coaching. It's called Blended Learning. Challenge Me to Grow. gonegirlgo™

Here's some of what they had to say about the experience:

"Experience was awesome. I came expecting good things and I got it..."

"I think that CMTG has made me look deeper into myself. There are some things that I have not thought about and the stations were thought provoking."

"Great start! This is wonderful - you did it! I am proud of you. I think that each station was good - however to do them as presented, more time is needed - or less reading - one idea is to provide the reading ahead of time & have people bring their thoughts to the program. It was hard to give the reading the attention it needed to get the most of it. I love the format & variety of activities - music etc."

"Just continue to challenge women to grow. Very well presented and organized."

"The mind map concept and the sharing is excellent for encouraging women to step out. A very needed concept."

"So thankful to have been invited. I feel the Lord is constantly showing/putting people & things in my life to motivate me to push to my highest potential. This experience is definitely one of them. Love the interaction with all of the ladies."

"I am so inspired to be a part of this movement that I am buying one of the packages."

"The purse I have costs more than what you are charging. This service is invaluable."

If you are curious about Challenge Me to Grow, join the gonegirlgo™ team for a repeat Kick-Off on Tuesday, April 10. Let us know if you can't make it. We are working on options for you too. Here's the link to register: http://ggg-cmtg.eventsbot.com.

Peace

WHAT REALLY FEELS GOOD TO ME...

2012-03-22T07:23:00.000-04:00

I am fond of Seth Godin. He has written a dozen of bestsellers. He is pushing forward a non traditional publishing movement under The Domino Project. He founded and runs Squidoo.com. I think I like him most because He blogs everyday - simple, brief and brilliant thinking about working, living, and being in the digital age (that sums it up to me, but my little synopsis doesn't do his blog justice). Today's post really resonated with me. It's titled Confidence without Guts. If you are reading this post, go back and click on the link to Seth's post and read it now.

What he communicates so simply in this post is exactly how I feel about pushing forward so that I can go. This Saturday is the Kick-Off of the Challenge Me to Grow experience. I could have simply put it off another couple of months, or cancelled it. I could have ignored that tingling sensation in the bottom of my toes when the idea first popped into my head. I could have allowed the negative self-talk to outweigh the positive self-talk and the encouragement from others. I could have walked without faith.

A lil sneak peak

Instead I chose to have guts. I chose to push forward and go. I am not sure of the outcome. People tell me that they are coming, but you know how that goes. I don't have all the answers. I am not perfect. But I am confident that the experience will touch someone, maybe even a few. That's my motivation to have guts. Even if I fail or don't do anything else with the movement, having Confidence with Guts feels good.

Peace

THE DILEMMA OF THE PARADOX

2012-03-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

I enrolled in school last year after my bout with unemployment. I decided that I needed to upgrade and retool my skills. It's a challenge, but it's good for me as a learning and development professional to keep building my knowledge and honing my skills, especially considering how much technology has impacted the field over the past decade.

Anyway, I am in the process of writing a paper about the importance of course evaluations, not a particularly an exciting topic, but nonetheless I gotta write it. During my research, I found an article entitled, Paradoxes of Online Teaching by Bair and Bair. It's an interesting examination of the contradictions that the authors experience as online instructors. These contradictions or paradoxes are defined "as being the coexistence of two competing truths" (2011, p. 5). They go on further to say that these two competing truths create discord for individuals experiencing them.

This is my favorite paradox!

Paradoxes have been intriguing me for a while. I remember reading articles about them when I was in CSU's Diversity Management Program. The paradox of diversity is one of my favorite concepts. I even wrote about paradox in my journal back in 2009:

I realize that life is a balance or struggle (depending on my frame of mind that day) between polar opposites. I vacillate between:

black and white

shades of gray and a rainbow of colors

better and worse

loneliness and togetherness

generosity and selfishness

grace and impatience

inactivity and creativity

satisfaction and dissatisfaction

empty and full

just doing it and staying stuck

sitting and standing

stillness and noise

boredom and fun

disgust and pleasure

sweet aroma and funk

trusting God and not trusting God

Here's my point. I write this blog to make meaning of my experience as I push this movement forward. Right now I'm feeling the dilemma of the paradox. It keeps emerging and it keeps me up at night. Since pushing this movement forward, I have been dealing with these paradoxes:

HARD BUT FUN - I wrote about this after my trip to Vegas. Life is fun but hard. As much as I want to have fun, I need hard if I am going to grow.
SLOW AND FAST - Every time I think about the fact that this movement started in January, I am amazed. Things have happened quite fast. But on the other hand, there are things that I think are happening too slow. I see the big picture, but I can't seem to catch up to it.
BIG PICTURE AND SMALL CHUNKS - I will be introducing the Challenge Me to Grow Experience next Saturday. While I saw the big picture of the experience a while ago (OK maybe a month or so ago), I still wrestle with the small chunks. I'm good at focusing on the big picture, but I can't let the big picture be my sole focus. I have to attend to the small chunks in order for the big picture to come into fruition. My discord comes into play because there are a lot of small chunks.
PRIVATE AND PUBLIC - I have decided to let others in my head. My private thoughts are now public. It's risky, but it keeps me grounded and accountable. That might seem goofy to some, but trust me...if I didn't share this, I wouldn't have pushed anything forward. I would be laying in my bed every night watching foreign movies and not pushing any of my ideas forward.
DREAMING AND DOING - It's always been easy for me to dream, but hard for me to do. And the reason I didn't push forward was because I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to be haunted by my dreams that I thought would turn into nightmares. Now I am dreaming and doing both at the same time. I don't let the thought of failure haunt me as much. It creeps up every now and then, but it hasn't made me stop in my tracks. To me that's an accomplishment.
NEEDING HELP AND NOT WANTING HELP - Need I say more.

There are a couple of random paradoxes that I won't bother to mention. I'll just deal with them privately. The dilemma of the paradox is a cleansing experience for me. It is helps me to adjust to the uncertainities that exist in life. It helps me realize that life can't be "perfect", but it can be just as it is. After all of this thinking, I still don't have any answers or resolutions. I might have a little more understanding and that is fine with me.

Peace

CONFESSIONS OF A LIFE LONG LEARNER

2012-03-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

My Nana
Mattie Estelle Mason
1921 - 2009
Graduate of Tennessee State University

Even before I was aware of the term life long learner, I embraced it. I was the little girl who always wanted to "play school", read National Geographic magazines for hours, explore every inch of the tree in my backyard, and organize others to conquer something. As I grew older, I tried desperately to ignore my fascination with the teaching and learning process and the fact that I came from a long line of female educators. (A special note to self: Nana's legacy to me was her value of education. She was the quintessential teacher. I will always love her for that.) I didn't want to be a teacher so I decided to major in Communications and minor in Education. My goal was to become a children's television producer and work for Sesame Street.

That, of course, did not happen. I ended up in the field of early childhood education, then mysteriously was led to the field of adult learning and development. I realize now that I was destined to be who I am - a life long learner (and a teacher). I enjoy learning through books, and now the internet. Learning this way comes easy to me.

Learning through life experiences is a different story. It's not easy, and I don't like it, but I have come to appreciate it. I mean, I think that I really have learned from my errors, bad choices, goofy decisions, and other experiences that life has offered me. And I am cool with my life experiences because without them, I would just be a learned fool. As I claim my inner nerd, I also claim my relationship to the school of hard knocks. Here's a few lessons that hard knocks have taught me since pushing forward this movement:

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER. I have met lots of interesting, motivating, creative, and determined individuals since beginning this movement. Not that I hadn't met these types of people before, but I think that I am able to connect more authentically with them because I am trying hard not to judge them at face value. Terre and I had a dynamic discussion about this a few weeks ago. She asked me what I thought about first impressions while brainstorming for an article she was writing for an online magazine. I shared that it was important that I didn't allow my filters (the way I see the world based on my experiences, assumptions, and expectations) to get in the way of making authentic connections with others because those filters can hinder both relationship and community building. (BTW - Terre's article will be out next month. Follow her on Twitter @terreholmes.)
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITIES ARE ESSENTIAL. How can I push forward and go when I am in an unhealthy relationship or belong to an unsupportive community? I have to have healthy relationships and belong to supportive communities because they both help me push forward. Relationship and community building are risky, hard, and unnerving processes, but at the same time essential processes. We are all prone to lie, cheat, and steal. We are human. And there is a level of protection that we all need against ourselves. But I am also learning that we thrive when we encourage, motivate, and inspire. These happen within the context of healthy relationships and supportive communities and I need them both!
LIFE WON'T STOP HAPPENING. Sometimes life makes it challenging for me to push forward my ideas and go. I'm learning how to deal with the hard and regular aspects of my life a little better. I wish that some hard and regular aspects of my life would instantly disappear, but that's not being realistic. So I just have to buckle down, be clear about what I want to accomplish, get organized, and delegate responsibilities to my kids. (I just created the Davis-Bolden-Brown Family Task List and I am going to make sure that my little family follows it religiously!!!!!)
JUGGLE LESS. It's not like I can just put all other balls aside and concentrate solely on juggling gonegirlgo™.

My life has become an intense juggling act that has unfortunately resulted in in some balls falling on the floor. I only have two hands. And there are only a certain number of hours in the day that I can juggle. I try not to feel guilty about dropping them as I scoop them up and continue the juggling act. But some of these balls have to go. The hard part is deciding which ones.

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot lately. She was a phenomenal woman.

She juggled lots of balls
She didn't jump off the world when it started spinning too fast
She tried to maintain both healthy relationships and supportive communities
She accepted people for who they were
And most importantly, she was a life long learner (and teacher)

Thank you Nana for leaving that legacy with me. I'm grateful that I have you to remember as I push forward and go.

Peace

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM FLEXIBLE, FLUID & FREE

2012-03-04T09:06:00.001-05:00

This movement continues to unfold. Again, not easy, smooth, or quick, but then again, maybe I should rethink quick. This movement was introduced in January. Its March. Wow. Things have happened a little more quickly than I realized. (I am amazed, honored, and reflective about this...)

So here's the next idea that I have been wrestling with. I knew it would involve the marriage of my career, training and development to my passion and purpose, this movement. What I thought I was going to do initially and solely was this really cool online learning program. I was so pumped about it that I set up a complimentary webinar to introduce the online experience, sent it out to about 30 friends, and only received 2 registrations! Of course, I was crushed and my little feelings were hurt. But not for long. I knew I had something to bring to the table. I knew that what I had to offer would be beneficial so I decided to regroup, push forward a little more, and try another approach.

I also continued to rethink the learning approach itself. Here are a few thoughts that I wrestled with: Maybe folks didn't understand what I meant by an online learning experience. Maybe they need face to face interaction first. Maybe they don't get the movement at all. Maybe they don't care. This dreadful conversation that I had with myself could have stopped me in my tracks, but it didn't. This movement was given to me to go and make impact. If only a few get it, are excited by it, and want to learn from it, then I am doing what I am supposed to do.

So the learning experience has to be relevant, meaningful, understandable, and affordable. It has to address the needs of a variety of women. And most importantly it has to challenge them to grow!

Looks like rethinking is a necessary part of pushing forward so that I can go. I have to be flexible, fluid, and free to listen to others and accept their advice. As a result of rethinking flexibly, fluidly, and freely, I'm ready to go with the next idea...

If you live in the Cleveland area and have a couple of hours the morning of March 24, then join me for the Challenge Me to Grow Experience: The Kick Off! It will be an introduction to the total learning experience and I will also facilitate an exciting exercise guaranteed to challenge you to grow! Details about the kick off and official registration are here:
www.gonegirlgo_cmtg.eventsbot.com. I'm still praying, pushing, rethinking, and loving every minute of it!

Peace

(typed this on my iPhone...what a challenge but I feel good about getting this one out!)

Peace some more
Z

SILENT MODE (BUT NOT REALLY)

2012-03-01T01:15:00.000-05:00

I am trying not to feel guilty about being in silent mode this week. I have a few posts in the hopper, but right now I don't have the time to hash them out. I've been busy working behind the scenes getting some things in order. I am working hard to push gonegirlgo™ to another level. Remember in a previous post I mentioned that I have to balance dreaming and doing. Well, I'm doing and I can't wait until it finishes unfolding! Right now, this is all that I can share.

Soon and very soon, an announcement will be made about an upcoming event so stay tuned!

Peace

LIFE IS FUN BUT HARD BUT FUN BUT HARD...

2012-02-23T00:32:00.000-05:00

I took a little break from the routine this past weekend to celebrate my sister Nikki's 30th birthday. A much anticipated celebration was planned (or so I thought) way before the birth of gonegirlgo™. While I was excited about my first trip to Vegas, I struggled with stepping away because the movement was gaining momentum. I really didn't want to step away, but then again, I wanted to celebrate with my family. Those of you who know us know that we love to have lots of fun! Anyway, Niyia, a wise young woman made my decision easy by telling me that gonegirlgo™ was not like a "backpack" that I just put on and take off. It is me and it goes where I go. So despite all of the activity around me, I thought a lot and learned some valuable lessons relative to this movement while celebrating in Vegas.

Life can be fun but hard at the same time. Experience has taught me that fun doesn't challenge me to grow. Hard does. I can make the fun part last as long as I want, but at some point I am going to have to do the hard part too, especially if I want to grow (this is not intended to be a joke, but it is funny). Unfortunately, folks give up on life because of the hard part, but would rather push forward to always have fun. They are missing an opportunity for growth and balance. (My speculation is that these people love places like Vegas. As for this lil' mama, enough was enough. I'm good with my fun but hard life!)
Some folks have a difficult time accepting the hand that they have been dealt. I wonder what would happen if they didn't get hung up on how "bad" their hand was. What would happen if they pushed forward with that "bad" hand and decided to go make impact with it anyway? What would happen if they stopped gambling away their time because they felt that they didn't have what it takes to win? What if they changed their minds and realized that the hand that they have been dealt was given to them for a reason?
I couldn't pound the pavement in my high heels that long in Vegas. I hated abdicating my super powers, but I had to for the sake of my feet.
People from around the world push forward to live in the United States so that they can go. And we are mad at them, but won't push forward and go ourselves.

Who told my mother to throw up deuces?

Believe it or not, despite all my thinking, I had lots of fun celebrating with my family. (And that part will stay in Vegas.) I would not have missed this trip for anything in the world. It's just hard for me to put on and take off gonegirlgo™. It is me. It goes where I go.

Peace

And I can't forget...Happy Birthday Nikki!!!!!

GAMES WE STILL PLAY

2012-02-15T21:37:00.001-05:00

I never figured out what
"Yellow Light" meant.

Do you remember playing "Red Light, Green Light" when you were little? I do. As a little rambunctious girl, I played that game a lot on E.151st and Harvard. A group of us would line up some feet away from the kid who shouted "Red Light!Green Light!" When he shouted "Green Light!", we would run as fast as we could to reach him, but as soon as he shouted "Red Light!", we would stop in our tracks. This would go on until one of us tagged the shouting kid first. Who made this game up? And what was this game all about? Why did we think that playing this game was actual fun? I am not sure. I guess we liked the idea of following somebody's commands until we reached our destination. We were some funny kids back in the day.

And we are some funny adults because now we play this game against ourselves. As soon as somebody shouts, "Red Light!", we put the brakes on with the quickness. Finally, when we hear "Green Light!" we stand still, look around, and question if we even heard "Green Light!" at all. We forget about the destination and settle in right where we are.

I haven't been standing still lately, but I realize that getting the green light doesn't mean that my journey will be easy, things will fall into place, and the ride will be smooth. It also might mean that I won't reach my destination so quickly. Easy, smooth, and quick have not been the case so far. I tweeted earlier this week, "I had no clue how hard it would be giving birth to an idea until the labor pains started. Now I'm pushing forward really hard." As I am pushing forward with my theme song playing in the background, "I'm ready to go right now..." I have to:

Unlearn old habits like engaging in negative self talk, procrastinating, downplaying my strengths, and focusing on my weaknesses
Stick to my vision for this movement and filter out well intended messages that may not line up with my vision
Pace myself and avoid the tendency to want to move too fast (Note to Self: I have to remember that the movement is not gonegirlrun. I have to go, but not at a rapid pace. Pushing forward is movement and maybe momentum, but not speed.)

This past Sunday, I spent my evening with a group of strong, intelligent, and motivated women who are making things happen in their lives and in the lives of others. That sacred space lasted for a short time, but what it did for me was helped me to rethink the green light I was given (more on building relationship and community in another post). Thanks ladies - Sharron, Niyia, Rhonda, Terre, and Dawn. I am thinking, praying, planning, and pushing. Thanks Mommy for your love and support. I need it. And the rest of you who are down for this movement, I am grateful to you as well.

I'm pounding the pavement in my really high heels with my theme song playing in the background, "I'm ready to go right now..."

Peace

Prayers and warm thoughts are extended to Whitney Houston's family and loved ones. They've got to miss her, but they have her legacy. Actually we all do. And what a legacy it is!

REAL TALK PART II

2012-02-10T15:04:00.000-05:00

I am actually pushing forward and going. I thank God for the satisfaction that it brings. Over the past month and a half, I have executed an idea that I have had on my mind for years. I am in the process of preparing to execute another idea in the Spring. But how is it that today, I can't help but feel a tinge of discontentment. Looks like it's time for another REAL TALK.

I'm torn with expressing discontentment because it feels like I am whining. I hate whining and for the most part, I am not a whiner. I really don't have anything to whine about! I just got something going on inside that makes me feel like being a little whiny baby right now. That whiny baby in me says:

Peace.

Maybe it's that notion of perfection that keeps peaking its head around the corners of my mind. Or could it be that challenge of time that I keep racing against? It could also be that bomb of impatience that keeps exploding in my soul. It's hard to ignore those relentless imps, my weaknesses and failures, that constantly remind me that they are real and that they exist.

Jeesh! I had to get that out! My main goal in all of this is to be encouraging to others. Looks like today I need some encouragement myself. Thank God I know where to push forward and go for the encouragement that I need! I'm out!

A LIST YOU MUST POST SOMEWHERE SO YOU CAN READ IT EVERYDAY

2012-02-09T06:23:00.001-05:00

This lil mama was the perfect character
for my book way back when.

Based on years of experience, here's a list of what not to do, if you ever have a great idea:

Act like you never felt that tingling sensation in the bottom of your toes when that idea first popped into your head in the middle of the night
Ignore the warning signs that you really had a purpose in life
Overwhelm yourself with the mundane, routine, and everyday tasks of life
Tell somebody about that idea then never talk about it again because you never talk to them again
Write down everything that you wanted to do and then lose the little napkin, big notebook, and Word document that you wrote it on
Forget to pray and ask God for guidance
Wait until you have a whole bunch of money
Listen to someone tell you why that idea won't work, can't happen, or doesn't make sense
Take on a hobby that you will never be passionate about
Pretend like your 9-5 job is the only thing that can be your passion and purpose
Ignore your gut feeling
Never align your means to your end
Wait until your kids grow up (some of the best ideas came when they were little and had something to do with them like The Adventures of Nia and J.R. (Conversation with self: Dang I wish I would have wrote that children's book back in 1997! She's practically grown now and J.R. (my Jack Russell Terrier brother) has been gone for years!)
Keep talking about what you are going to do but never take even one baby step to make it happen
Be mortified to step out of the box
Be afraid to be different, weird, or strange
Never ask anyone to help you

Now, here is a list of what to do, if you ever have a great idea:

Push forward

This lil mama is still a character (she's to my left),
but I don't think she will appreciate me
writing stories about her anymore.

Peace

MY BIG BUT SMALL REALIZATION (AND VICE VERSA)

2012-02-07T06:01:00.000-05:00

Uhh..that would be me.

Duh?!? I had no idea that stepping outside of my box would be so liberating. It feels good to finally exhale. Sharing my passion for international film, not just with my inner circle, but with a larger one, was good for me. Not that I was seeking validation, but then again maybe I was. That I am OK. I'm different, and that's OK. It's really OK to be different in a world that wants you to conform to a certain mold.

I guess that's part of it. The other part of Movie, Munch & Mingle that did it for me was offering this to others: WIDEN YOUR FRAME SO THAT YOU CAN SEE MORE OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. While your life is yours (or so you think), does it always have to be about you, where you live, what you do, and who you are? There are billions of people who live on this planet and their lives are just as important as yours. Do you ever think about them, where they live, what they do, and who they are?

This is Round One of gonegirlgo™. I'm in...are you?

Peace

Networking Was Never My Forte

2012-02-03T10:04:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to an event to celebrate the re-opening of a restaraunt that I frequent. The atmosphere was good. The food was great. But the conversation was even better. I conversed with the folks who are bringing a new film festival in town, the Greater Cleveland Urban Film Festival (GCUFF). Again, the conversation was even better. In case you don't know, I am an international film enthusiast. My love of this genre of film goes real deep and way back. This is not something that I have always liked to share with people, especially my love for Indian cinema and its actors, particularly my favorite actor Shah Ruhk Khan. (There is only one person who I can really discuss this with. I mean hours and hours and hours of discussion...my Didi, Janice. And by the way, Didi is sister in Hindi.) Anyway, the reason I was so into the conversation last night was because I had something to talk about. I mean really talk about.

I heart SRK. Yes. I heart SRK.

(You see, in my old life, I preferred to stay in my head and in my box. It's not that I was afraid to share my world with others, I just didn't think it was necessary. I didn't feel like explaining why I liked this, or why I thought a certain way. I didn't feel like getting irritated by the smirks and other goofy facial expressions that people display when they are a bit confused. Those looks spoke volumes, "A black girl who prefers to watch Bollywood movies instead of Hollywood movies? I don't get it." So I decided that my little secret was safe with me. But one day, I decided to share my secret with others. I hosted the first ZIFF (Zoe's International Film Festival) at my house in February 2010. I invited a few close friends and we watched a really cool Palestinian movie and ate some great tasting Mediterranean type food that I cooked. The girls loved it and couldn't wait for me to do it again. But I never got the urge to do it again. And that idea sat dormant.)

Let me get back on track. I'm supposed to be writing about how networking was never my forte.

So at this event, I talked freely about my love of international film and what I decided to do about it. I also asked to help out at GCUFF in anyway that I can. The biggest thing that I shared during this converation was my event - Movie, Munch & Mingle that happens on Monday. That really got me excited and I probably could have talked on and on and on and on...

So here's my point. I see the value of stepping outside of my box and out of my head. There are people in this world (and Cleveland!) who might get me. And they even might be excited about my push forward. They even might be instrumental in helping me go. I would never know if I wasn't willing to open up and talk a little. Networking was never my forte, but now it is. I have things to talk about. gonegirlgo™

Peace

gonegirlgo™

A New Home - www.gonegirlgo.com

I am honored to share with you the GoneGirlGo website.

There's a calendar with strategies to make your M-W-F a GoneGirlGo kind of day. There's a Challenge Me to Grow Resource of the Month for you to download for free. There's all of the blog posts from this site.

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: LATORIA

SO HERE I AM.

THE PERFECT PLATFORM TO STAND ON

WHAT'S ON MY HEART AND MY MIND

WHAT'S IN MY TREASURE-TROVE

A NEW RITUAL

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: VANESSA

TAKE STOCK OFTEN

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: NIYIA

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: DR. MARY JO ODOM

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: IMANI

LIVING THE GONEGIRLGO LIFE: RA'NESHA

OK. NO STRESS.

WHAT REALLY FEELS GOOD TO ME...

THE DILEMMA OF THE PARADOX

CONFESSIONS OF A LIFE LONG LEARNER

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM FLEXIBLE, FLUID & FREE

SILENT MODE (BUT NOT REALLY)

LIFE IS FUN BUT HARD BUT FUN BUT HARD...

GAMES WE STILL PLAY

REAL TALK PART II

A LIST YOU MUST POST SOMEWHERE SO YOU CAN READ IT EVERYDAY

MY BIG BUT SMALL REALIZATION (AND VICE VERSA)

Networking Was Never My Forte

There's a calendar with strategies to make your M-W-F a GoneGirlGo kind of day.

There's a Challenge Me to Grow Resource of the Month for you to download for free.

There's all of the blog posts from this site.