writingcrafts

Unleash your breakthrough

2018-03-02T11:24:00.001+00:00

We resist change and fail to dream big. Don't wait to be ready, to fall into motion. Opportunities are lurking all around you!

Learn to attract what matters to you. 


You will learn how to stop procrastination Dream big, transform your life and influence people that matters. If you want to know how to
turn practice to profits, join us now.

Check in here: http://bit.ly/2t9zFrc

You see, when I speak about confidence, I speak about that confidence that helps you speak to that person, even though they are well-known and have following, many times fold than you do and you know could help you. The confidence of knowing you are enough and you don't need to prove anything to anyone. The confidence that helps you believe more in yourself, knowing that rejection, no matter how frequent, is just to build you bolder. The confidence of, "I'm open to learning, it's just the best way to grow if you're wise". The confidence that makes you vulnerable and strong at the same time. I speak about that confidence that helps you make that call and chat to the guy who's going to approve your proposal and once that rapport is built you're done. I speak of that confidence, which gives you the edge and faith to do it anyway, even though you're thinking that you're not fit and qualified but you slammed it when you gave it a shot. I am talking about that confidence that suddenly gets you in the boardroom with executive clients that took you years to figure out, just because of that one call that you made or perhaps, that Facebook messenger text...
I'm talking about that confidence that helps you turn practice in into profits in hours and suddenly turns what you once thought impossible or feared intensely, into your ultimate reality.
It works for me!
It's all in your daring to dare. 

Check in here: http://bit.ly/2t9zFrc
#confidencechallenge

Why do you think you are the right candidate for this role?

2018-03-01T15:39:00.001+00:00

Why do you think you are the right candidate for this role?

This is one of the most common questions recruiters ask applicants, if they ever get shortlisted to this stage of the interview process. Surprisingly, many leaders get to be asked this same question as they rise in ranks and begin to command authority, but not very many seem to bother to answer; most especially, when it is muttered beneath the breath of their team members.

Truly, as a leader, do you honestly ask yourself, if you’re the right person to be holding your position? Great leaders reflect on their everyday performance by engaging in a lot of self-awareness exercises, listening more than they speak and asking for feedbacks, as well as engage their team members in constructive feed forward process, which makes everyone resoundingly be on the same page with the goals, visions and expectations of the team.

How do you continuously demonstrate that you are indeed right to be a leader? What examples do you constantly lay down, for how things should be done? What sort of influence do you have on the people with whom you work?

These are three key questions every leader must be able to clearly answer, for an insight into how deserving you are, of having people to lead.

What most leaders don’t understand is that the outcomes of their team members, in terms of the goals achieved, results recorded, income generated, customer satisfaction, etc., is a direct reflection of the leadership quality.

Whilst most of us, as leaders, believe in the power and the opportunity to appraise team members, review their performance and perhaps judge behaviour, maybe an in depth investigation of, “what about me, is being reflected here?”, should be a point of reckoning, when next you need to carry out any of these leadership tasks.

It is always rewarding whenever you’re able to reflect on events just gone, achievements in the past year, and consider the learning for you and your team members, which leads to a joint plan of action moving forward.

How this helped

Over the years, I discovered that being open to discussing leadership skills and how it affects job performance made my team performed better, instead of throwing tasks at them and expect to review performance after tasks have been completed. It became my common practice to remind team members that, e.g., “being able to submit a quality report by deadline, not only shows that you have sound time management skills, it helps you demonstrate that you are preparing yourself for something greater, even if it takes a while.” Instead of just throwing tasks and stipulating that it has to be presented by certain timescale, I attach snippets of what a great outcome would mean to them as individuals, engaging their sense of responsibility and personal accountability.

Answers to key questions

I genuinely made it a thought point that people are extremely complex to manage and handle. Hence as individuals, we all have different needs, motives, aspirations, abilities and expectations. So, in continuously demonstrating that I deserve to lead the people I lead, I approach each individual as a unique person, understanding well too, that people’s emotions affect their approach to work and their performance at work.

The bottom line to effective leadership is achieving envisioned results. Hence, when I put my focus on a vision, I ensure that I remain tenacious, carrying everyone along to demonstrate that only through dedicated team work can any proven top-notch results can be achieved. I let my team members understand that greatness demands more than your strength, but your ability to work with others, constructively.

If you are not clear on the type to influence you have on your team members, why not ask intentionally, “how do I feel, when I’m engaging, giving tasks, asking for suggestions, asking for help to solve a problem, or holding a meeting or appraisal or supervision with members on my team? The easier the answers come, the easier it is perhaps for them too to answer similar questions about you and hence, the level of influence you have with them. What feelings go through your team members when you are around or when they remember you’re their leader? I answer these questions with ease and resounding positive energy, not because I don’t have my ups and downs in managing a team of people, whom originally would have loved to have one of them be their leader, before I came to change the picture, appearing after a sudden shake up due to low productivity and performance. Not because it was comfortable having team members, regularly try to point out where I had gone wrong, even when I was figuring out the most effective ways for everyone to maximise their potentials. Yes, it may feel tough initially, but to gain trust and build loyalty, you must be consistent in showing that you also care about their side of the ‘rut’, and not just the capitalist interest of the organisation or about keeping my job. This worked in my favour.

I can help you do same

If you take time out to really focus on the three key questions I asked above, and find your genuine answers, this can be the start or enhancement of a painless leadership reign for you. The chances are that you are still very defensive, like most leaders are and pointing the blame finger on the inadequacy of your team members. This will not help and you’ll probably stay in the havoc-loop for a longer time.

You may want to do a little reading around the subject of smart leadership, to strengthen these insights or checkout this resource on transformational leadership. This should lead you towards a genuinely diverse team, where everyone has differing strengths and are nurtured as such.

As you may know by now, I have a track record in managing teams and helping senior managers achieve better results from their team effectively, which is why I’m always passionate about talking leadership and I’m always happy to work with you to raise the game with your team members.

I must point out that understanding and embracing the need for optimal consciousness and personal development in my life and business was pivotal to achieving success in effectively managing teams and also building a formidable coaching and training business and this too, I can help you achieve. If you choose to explore this topic further, I will be happy to share greater insights with you. Why not let’s connect on LinkedIn, or join our community of thriving Stress-Free Business Leaders.

Can Leaders Truly Be Vulnerable?

2018-01-18T15:20:00.001+00:00

Leadership vulnerability, has always been a topic with different dynamics and stemming lots of conversations, because many leaders still struggle with ‘letting it out’, with their team members. Recently, I was giving a presentation to about two hundred and fifty business leaders, in the health care industry, and over half of the participants agreed that they struggle with openly seeking for help from team members and worse still, are not comfortable talking to team members about organisational challenges, apart from discussing general and specific productivity and performance related issues with them.

Over 70% of the participants believed that when they sit around the table with team members and say things like, “We have a problem reaching our targets and all our strategies seem to have failed, who has any ideas to help us move forward?” They are seen to be pushing management responsibilities on the entire team or giving room for team members to take undue advantage in carrying out duties or abiding with policies and procedures, as a comeback for helping out during the crisis period.

No doubt, hierarchical structures in organisations have long, held leaders from fully being authentic, in showing up as real leaders, as this may be seen as less professional or breaking boundaries. In reality, the lack of genuine team building activities in organisations, has done more harm than good, as this reduces staff engagement levels to the core, which causes the stillness in motivation and inspiration.

Unfortunately, the lack of understanding of what constitutes staff engagement has made it impossible for leaders to be able to connect with their team members, and get the best from them. Instead, leaders build a wall of seclusion, which translates to the team members, as “they know it all, they have it all”, causing stronger disconnection and unrealistic and grandiose expectations by employees and when these are not met, the cycle of low morale and low performance continues to be deeply entrenched within the organisation.

Where does vulnerability lie, here? Vulnerability lies in the fact that leaders are unable to maintain genuine connections with team members, and genuine connections are things that engage and make team members feel part of the organisation they work for. It is absolutely correct that, engagement can have a significant impact on the performance of the organisation, driving bottom‐line profit and enabling organisational agility, as well as improved efficiency in driving change initiatives.

To be able to lead effectively, leaders must be able to demonstrate empathy, which helps you understand others’ situations, thereby making it easy for you as the leader to tailor team members’ strengths and weaknesses via the best channels for maximum productivity and performance. In doing this, you must be willing to trust team members enough, to assign tasks that will challenge and bring the best out of them, yet empowering them in dignifying ways. To achieve these with little or no stress, you must be willing, as a leader, to give a piece of your self by being vulnerable. Brené Brown, an expert on social connection, conducted thousands of interviews to discover what lies at the root of social connection. The research revealed that vulnerability, was a key factor in building great connections, both in the professional and personal world. Vulnerability here does not mean being weak or submissive. To the contrary, it implies the courage to be yourself. It means understanding the truths in our world. Which is, ability to come to terms with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, and when a leader is open to this, impacting others and making change, becomes seamlessly within grip.

Here are few tips to cultivate vulnerability as your strength:

Admit that you do not know everything and don’t have the solution to every problem - Being able to admit and share times of weakness, as a leader, will earn you trust and present you as being authentic. Creating a stance of ‘ know it all’, only shows that you’re claiming to be perfect, which in the real sense, is just an illusion. Showing weakness and not hiding from imperfection lets others know that you are simply human.

Accept responsibility when mistakes occur – You will protect your credibility as a leader, when you are able to accept responsibility, when you make errors, instead of finding someone else to blame it on. Leaders who play the blame game, only have very little time, before they lose credibility and loyalty. Further, taking responsibility, gives you a sense of leadership that allows you to take time to analyse and consult on how to make progress towards accomplishing the goals set.

Practice empathy - People who are skilled at understanding others’ feelings and situations are more likely to be viewed as effective leaders. A study by MRG found that empathy was the single strongest predictor of ethical leadership, which is why leaders who are empathetic, are able to motivate teams to do their best work, because they create an atmosphere that is non judgemental, but empowering.

Don’t wait for the company to crash before you seek help, suggestions or tell your team members the truth about the situation- Teams are the greatest assets any organisation have and to add value to these assets, leaders must build teams that are formidable, effective and trustworthy. This can only be achieved if team members are treated with trust, a sense of value and are well supported to deliver their tasks to the best of their abilities. Leaders who build their teams on very strong precepts, will have no fear or guilt, telling them the truth about an organisation’s standing when crisis arise, because they would all have been working under shared terms.

To get more from your team, get resources here. Join Facebook group, to become a Stress Free Business Leader.

Five Ways You Can Propel Your Self -Worth For Success

2018-01-11T20:49:00.001+00:00

Do you know that constantly worrying about what others think about you or the way you live your life, is self-debilitating, particularly when you know that you’re doing no harm to anyone? So, why seek approval and recognition? You don’t need it!

Stop getting overwhelmed by the expectations of others, instead, live your life purposefully, believing in your everyday actions. What’s the point of you looking everywhere for approval, when the best insights and approval for what’s great and not lies, right in your heart. Too many times, you disapprove of yourself or even criticise your efforts just because you set your standards and validate your actions by what you see and hear from other people.

So, what happens when you do that? You run your emotions high, causing inner conflicts that do nothing but increase distraction and distort your ability of intense focus on what’s important and what matters most, which is why your desires don’t match your results and realities. By setting parameters that don’t align with your truth, you jeopardise your efforts, bring upon yourself, a great deal of self doubt, low self - confidence, low self-esteem and self-sabotage, because you unconsciously disempower your thoughts to think the magnitude of your strength.

To amp up your confidence and propel your self worth, take a five day challenge, that will help you achieve your goals and ensure your success.

Here are five other things you need to do.

Love yourself endlessly: You should understand that no matter how hard you try, no one can love you more than they love themselves, which is why you should love yourself unconditionally, to save yourself. When you are able to love yourself without limits, you will be empowered with so much abundance that giving back will become effortless. On the other hand, not loving yourself will continue to spill out the lack in you, and no matter how hard you try to hide, it rears its ugly head in different areas of your life and the worst bit is that, you will not serve your interest and will not be of great service to others, even those you care about.

Challenge your inner critic - There’s always a voice inside us telling us we can’t do it right, or that we’re not fit for the challenge. Yes! We all have that voice creeping in every now and then, but the truth is, the voice continues to rant and gain power, when we allow it. This voice means good, though, trying to protect you from what does not seem familiar and comfortable. It tries to keep you safe by putting you in a ‘no contest mode’, so that you don’t fret and get blown away by the size of the greatness that lies ahead of you. However, Staying in this ‘no contest zone’, only separates you and your possibilities, and if you must achieve your goals and live far beyond the limits your inner critic wants to cap on you, then you must challenge it, each time it tries to keep you bound to letting go of your dreams.

Set yourself up for success - What’s your biggest win so far? How many times do you motivate yourself with your previous wins, as an incentive to believe in your abilities and strive forward. Most times, when we feel less confident, it is based on reflections about the times we failed or when our performance did not measure up. So, next time when you’re feeling less confident, anchor your courage to push harder with a sweet memory of when you were successful, no matter how long or how insignificant the achievement may seem to you.

Never stop learning: You may wonder how learning connects with boosting self worth and confidence, but it sure does. Knowledge is the one thing you possess and no one can snatch away from you. You express yourself with what you know, both internally and externally and can also use your knowledge as a tool of empowerment and also to help others. All of these are things that will in turn increase your self-worth and confidence.

Believe in yourself: Get tips here on how to believe more in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, of course no one else will and this starts from your willingness to give yourself the opportunity to try new things without judgement and also to know that you are not infallible. The amount of times you’re willing to give yourself another chance, regardless, will invariably show how willing you are to strengthen your strengths and eventually begin to show up and achieve whatever goals or dream you want to achieve in the end.

Join our community of the enchanted minds, in our Facebook group.

Readings from the Anthology

2017-11-05T16:33:00.000+00:00

Here are some snippets from the collection of poems I published in my anthology.

"Time has failed,yet it moves

Life is here,still we expect

Years have rolled,the waters of sobs

Won't stop the gush

Life is unkind"

"If wishes were more

Oh!Dear,wished your pains snore

Cease forever its very sore

The agony of old age

Lies on your fraily image

I see you once like me

Forceful and brave

You once had courage your slave

How fair life can be"

These are just few lines from the collection,which could be read at anytime and anywhere. The handy book is available for purchase at amazon.com. You can also obtain the e-book version on www.e-bookonline.com .Reviews and comments are still welcome on the publication;this will help improve my future publications.

Seven ways to turn your secret idea into a reality

2017-07-13T07:28:00.001+01:00

Do you have a secret desire you want to achieve, that makes you fret when you have to tell people about it? Or are you so scared that you find it hard to talk about it to others, so that they don’t say you are weird or put you down for it? The truth is, we all have some secret desires that we want to accomplish at some point in our lives, but due to fear of failure or rejection, we allow our dreams go under. Making a choice between doing what it takes and going head on to achieve our goals and allowing fear and judgements from other people hold us back, is such a great choice, which is why many people choose to stay with the crowd, because that is an easier but more costly choice.

When you allow external influences overshadow your intuitive instincts, you will be forced to buy into their lifestyle, problems and patterns, killing your alternative thinking ability, hence making you develop a thinking error, known as mere-exposure effect. This refers to the brain’s tendency to believe something is true and good just because we are familiar with it, regardless of whether the situation is actually true and good.

Sometimes, it’s the negative thoughts of how less capable you are, or how inexperienced and other related lines of thoughts that hold you down and even makes you quit. Thinking negative thoughts is no doubt a killer and allowing to germinate in your mind is like building a house in a swamp, sooner or later, it will sink in and get lost, underneath. To avoid that, make a habit of consciously stopping negative thoughts from your mind, when they creep in.

What's your one true desire that you want to turn into reality? Get actionable steps and free confidence insights here https://goo.gl/uXGzbv

5 Sure Fire Ways to promote Your Website For free

2017-07-10T01:19:00.001+01:00

Getting found on the internet is the hallmark of any online business, as this is how millions of audience can get to know and do business with your company. Take online visibility as the navigation to locate you on the map. Imagine you were going somewhere you’d never been before and necessarily don’t have specifics about it, so you just typed in a general location or place in your navigator, definitely, it’s going to give you a list of related locations, and then you will choose exactly where you are going or the closest result.

In the same way, people looking for businesses like yours would type in a general term relating to your business and will have to choose from the results they get- so, your duty is to ensure that you find a place in these results, otherwise no one will be able to find your business.

In essence, the more visible your company is, online, the more likely people within your industry will look to you for necessary products or services.

Many small business owners struggle with this aspect of online marketing and think it’s confusing and that’s because there is too much information on the internet without clear explanation.

In this article, I will share five simple ways you can increase your company’s online visibility for free, yet with great results.

1. Utilize SEO tools: SEO- stands for Search Engine Optimization, and since we are talking about searching and finding your website online, I guess you know that SEO is indeed very important and the way you do this is by injecting content and key words that points back to your website on the internet. You can use different free online tools to check how well your website comes on in search results and when you know this, you constantly improve your visibility using these other methods. There are hundreds of free SEO tools online, including the Google webmaster and analytics and Bing web master tools, to monitor analytics and performance of your website. Check out other ways to improve your online visibility here.

2. Publish fresh, relevant content regularly: Ensure that you publish fresh content on your website regularly and also update your content from time to time. Google crawls all websites on the internet for fresh and new content, which is what will help your website to rank higher on Google search algorithm. Except people specifically know your website, they would only type in general terms, phrases or words in Google search engine and this will only populate the most relevant ones. So, to regularly appear in searches relating to what you do, updating your website with relevant content is crucial.

3. Publish digital content on external sites: Publish value added materials such as videos, images, slides, PDFs and audios on external websites such as Youtube, Google images, slideshare, and the likes. Your content gets to much more audience, promoting your website and also giving you backlinks in search engines sometimes.

4. Do social – Social media is a must if you must continue to attract fans and online subscribers to your brand. While your online fans may not necessarily become customers, it’s a good place to demonstrate your expertise and authority in your industry.

5. Use outbound and inbound links so Google can index cached pages: This is a great way to appear well in Google’s search. Outbound link is when you add external link to content on your site, pointing to other domains and websites. When you link out to related domains, it not only helps the search engine to understand your niche, but also helps to increase the trust and quality of your site which plays a vital role in your website’s SEO. Inbound links on the other hand is when you have links from other sites linking back to your website and this can be obtained free in a number of ways. You can do this by writing guest posts on other websites or by placing details about your website on other website, thereby, giving you backlinks. These links also raise your website’s visibility when done well.

For more ways to increase your company’s online visibility, check out these resources. Know that this takes time and it requires consistent action, if you want your company to continuously be visible online.

Osprey Ariel Hiking Backpack Alternatives

2017-07-07T14:31:00.001+01:00

If you have been considering hiking for a while and not sure whether to walk into it or not, here are some reasons you may consider, to help you decide.

Hiking outdoors has plenty of perks: nice views, fresh air, and the sounds and smells of nature. Aside all these, do you know that hiking is good for you, because it is a powerful cardio workout, and has the ability to do these to you:

Lower your risk of heart disease

Improve your blood pressure and blood sugar levels

Boost bone density, since walking is a weight-bearing exercise

Build strength in your glutes, quadriceps, hamstrings, and the muscles in your hips and lower legs

Strengthen your core

Improve balance

Help control your weight

So, do you see why hiking is important, particularly if you want to get fit, doing something fun?

Whether you’re going away for a month, a full year, or even longer, the most important piece of equipment you’ll need for your travel is a reliable bag to see you through your journey. Hiking travelling rucksacks are an investment and there’s a huge choice out there, so you have got to be sure to use one that is tested.

Here are my recommendations:

Hiking Backpack

Lightweight Hiking BACKPACK

hIKING bACKPACK- bEST DEAL

Hiking Backpack- Great for women

High quality alternatives Hiking Backpacks, you can choose from. These backpacks are durable, waterproof and well sized.

https://youtu.be/0By2cl3d91k

7 ways to manage change

2013-08-13T15:06:00.001+01:00

Little tests of life shows how prepared you are for a change or turn of events in your life. People crave positive changes but are not willing to put in the required action to bring the change to fruition. I strongly believe in the motto, “no pain no gain” – now, depending on what pain means to you. It ranges from working a bit of extra hours to getting on the computers when you should be relaxing or sleeping to having to sacrifice your time, money and passion to achieve a set goal. Whatever that translates to within your schedule, it boils down to you having to get out of your comfort zone and doing otherwise, those things you will ordinarily not do on ‘a good day’.

From south to north, east to west, people of success that I have come to know are people who worked really hard to achieve their goals and remained consistence with those values such as dedication, determination, persistence, endurance, enthusiasm, optimism and hard work that ensured continued victory in the land of success.

Most times, changes are strategically planned and walked into with calculated steps, although procedures may differ from person to person, in terms of how much work was put into the planning and how great the strides were, which sometimes, make it look like the change came by sheer stroke of luck for other people.

I know there are a lot of people looking out to having great positive changes to happen in their lives but are either not sure what steps to take or afraid of taking these steps. Wherever you are; these are a few tips on how to make change happen and mange it, and don't forget that what you think is what you feel and what you feel is what you attract. This means that your thoughts greatly contributes to what becomes your reality. To attract goodness, happiness and well-being, why not try out these uncommon law of attraction methods from any of the books recommended here.

However, there are still great ways you can effectively achieve positive change in your life and business if you follow these tips.

Visualize the change:

Imagine what change you want, when and how you want it and keep a bird’s-eye-view of the landscape. This will help you attune your actions towards your goal and keep you focused on what you want to achieve.

Reflect on your own values, strength and weaknesses:

Spend time reflecting on your values. Weight those attributes you cherish about yourself and look inwards, as to how best you can use these values and possibly your strengths to achieve your goals. Also, think about your weaknesses and imagine how you can turn your weaknesses into strengths at this time to achieve your goals. Better still, you could find ways of seeking help to deal with these weaknesses if it’s in your way against achieving your goals.

Have a clear vision:

It is important to know what and why you want change. A sense of purpose is essential to success and effectiveness, and if you do not have a clear idea of what you want or you want it, you may not achieve any long standing change. Successful change comes when you can clarify your goals and build on the bedrock of purpose.

Be persistent:

You do not have to be a genius to achieve positive change in your life. All you need is a good sense of commitment and focus that keeps you going. Once you know what you want, find ways of getting it; keep trying. Recording progress and being grateful of the progress, no matter how little grows your strength for persistence. Never quit and remain determined with a bit of hard work.

Be flexible and creative:

Think outside the box, if it’s not happening one way try another direction. Do not stick solely to your ideas and knowledge, learn from other people, seek meaningful advice and be ready to change some of your ways of doing things.

Accept change and know your limits:

Life is a pool of change, so keep in mind the uncertainties that may occur. Take cognizance of those things you may not be able to change by keeping high, your abilities to adapt your situations and circumstances. Bear in mind that there is no such situation as ‘unbearable’, but rather your responses and attitudes toward these situations will affect the outcome of things.

Be optimistic:

Focus your time and energy on being positive and optimistic. Optimism gives you the power to stay on course and ability to keep striving on, well.

Achieve your goals by staying focused

2013-05-04T13:20:00.000+01:00

Goals are central to personal success and happiness. No wonder we all go about talking setting different goals for business and life purposes. At different times in life, no doubt, there will be goals you want to work on and achieve. These may be in form of physical projects you want to embark upon or other financial goals. Setting goals do not only keep your body and mind active, it gives you a purpose to live for. Having different goals to work on enables you to live a life rid of boredom and frustration and gives you the opportunity to discover and make the best use of your potentials. No doubt setting goals may be quite challenging, but such challenges will help you grow and be who you want to be eventually. While it is quite easy for some people to come clear with their goals, others find it quite difficult to identify what their goals are, which makes it a lot difficult to solve problems they face. Getting professionals to help you with identifying and setting your goals will definitely be worthwhile. If you are fortunate enough to clearly identify your goals at different times and different stages of your life, you then may have proved that you know what you want and perhaps also, know ways of achieving it. Your inability to deal adequately well with goal setting and achievement explains why as many people as cannot be accounted for, fall among those who constantly see themselves as not being able to achieve goals they have set for themselves. However, once you have been able to set your goals, you must ensure to handle the processes responsibly in order to achieve success. Learn to believe in yourself, discover your true potentials and remain focused. If you are struggling believing in yourself or building your self-esteem, you can always seek help, read some personal development books, which I found help from;

and don't ever think of quitting. I know it can be daunting sometimes to stand up to some of our goal setting challenges, surrounding yourself with people of like-minds and those who will support you may just be the magic you require, but most importantly, always concentrate on your goals and create a vision to help you stay focused.

There are really no hard and fast rules to how you can remain focused and eventually achieve what you have set out to achieve. All you need basically is the right attitude, the right approach and the right mindset.

Here are some tips for you to consider in helping you stay focused and on track, to achieve your goals.

Prioritize your goals

You may have one huge goal or several huge goals you want to accomplish at different times or at a particular time. To make your goals effective and achievable, you must learn to prioritize your goals. If you have one big goal you want to accomplish, for example you want to start your own business; break this goal into bits and pieces, and begin tackling it one goal at a time or at the most, work on the three most important phases of this goal, once accomplished, you can then move to the next level.

When you want to achieve a huge goal without breaking it down, you may stretch yourself thin, resulting in less efficiency and probably not achieving anything. So, what you do is, prioritize your goals in order of importance and then pick the most important goals; say 1-3 most important goals to start with. Do not embark on other goals if you do not complete these ones.

For example, you have about 6-7 goals to accomplish and you list them:

Get a shop/office
Buy some equipment
Begin some marketing campaigns
Build your website
Learn more about your business and how to succeed
Put money aside for back ups
Get a new car for the business

Pick the most important from the list and work on them.

Create a vision Board

The essence of you creating a vision board is to remind you every day of the goals you have set for yourself, so that you do not forget or lose focus or concentration. It helps you visualize your goals more clearly, which inevitably inspires you to take consistent action. What is a vision board? It’s a collage of pictures and images that represent your goals and dreams. Vision board reinforces your goals to you and reminds you to take action so as to move forward.

Ensure your drive/motivation is strong enough

Whatever goal you set must have the strength and huge motivation to keep you going no matter what. It is only then that you will be able to face challenges that come with achieving your goal and overcome these challenges. Without a strong drive for your goal, your tendency of falling by the wayside and not achieving your goal is quite high. Have you ever asked yourself why you want to become an entrepreneur? (For example). Are you convinced of the reasons you truly want to own and start your business. Is that purpose strong enough to keep you going, etc?

Master your skills:

Obviously, great things start from small beginnings and acquiring knowledge and seeking to be better at what you do should be a lifelong thing. It may take some time for you to master all the skills required to be a guru in your chosen business, but ensure that you make all efforts necessary to improve your performance and quality of service. You must always aim to be a master at what you do and be willing to share knowledge with others.

E.G- Learn good customer relations practices, good refund practice, good marketing/advertising skills, learn to brand your products/services positively with good reputation, quality product line/ services, etc. Go for more training if need be.

Tackle your limiting beliefs: Often, I hear clients, friends say, “I doubt if I will be able to make it because I don’t see myself a very good business person”

I can’t manage a business because nobody in my family ever succeeded as a business man/woman. We are better at office jobs; etc. All such messages are sent to your unconscious mind and are processed and worked upon. Now your unconscious mind will begin to respond and act upon the messages and symbols you send across, distributing the kind of energy you transmit from your conscious mind. So, if you believe you cannot make it as a business person, the response you will begin to get will be that of someone who cannot make it as a business person no matter what. So, if you’ve had any negative or limiting beliefs whatsoever find ways to work on them eradicate such and free yourself. Take advantage of the opportunities you have and make the use of your potentials.

Identify any obstacles/barriers and find ways to break them- Barriers could be inform of time, I hear people say “I’ve not been able to do... because I haven’t got time, money, support, family, etc. Whatever the barriers are, seek help and ensure you step above such.

Network and surround yourself with like -minded people: Find knowledge, friendship and support to help you build a strong base for your goals. Find ways of meeting like minded people to discuss, and explore new ideas and ways of doing things. For example, read about the latest trends around the type of goal you are embarking upon, or in your chosen business field; attend seminars and workshops and engage in other things that could help your business grow.

Secondly, surround yourself with people who will encourage and help you accomplish your goals and also give you honest and constructive criticisms as well as challenge you towards achieving your goals.

Keep a progress record sheet – The importance of tracking results and achievements is to enable you to measure how well you have performed within a period of time. It helps you identify your performance metrics, and guide you as to where you need to improve or where you added value. You could keep a daily journal of your efforts and achievement, this way you will ensure taking actions and improving on your outcomes. Now are days there are so many ways of analysing the progress you make.

Celebrate achievements: One important reason you need the progress record sheet is for you to identify every success or achievement you’ve made at different stages and then celebrate those achievements. As you reach each of the milestones, give yourself a treat, pause, feel the accomplishment and enjoy the pleasure that comes with such success before moving on. As you savour the joy of your accomplishments you will believe more in yourself and strongly that you will in fact reach your goal.

Perspective makes the change

2012-11-20T14:25:00.000+00:00

Thanks to the words of the Universe that fills my presence like a bloom verse. Oh! How stunning our perception of issues, situations and events can change things for better or for worse. The way you view a circumstance or a situation, determines the success you can achieve in managing the situation. Your view point on any issue or circumstance, greatly affects your mindset, thoughts and actions to follow, and that is why a positive mindset towards situations all good or bad; is most beneficial. It is always best to make an effort to examine the positive aspects of an event or a situation, even though, may seem unclear.

Your perspective or point of view, can subjectively colour your interpretation of events and circumstances, particularly when you focus primarily on how it affects you in the short term. Our perception affects almost every aspect of our lives, from simple conversations to individual belief systems. Perception affects your attitudes and overall disposition towards everything. Hence, allowing a positive outlook will help you work towards turning things round and making the best of every situation you find yourself. If you perceive life negatively, your sub conscious mind tends to know and think only of the sorrows, darkness, failures and trials therein, that when happiness comes, your perception will not allow your consciousness apprehend and recognise it. There is no doubt however, that the true state of your personal affairs may be worrisome, but perceiving it as "insurmountable", is greater harm, than looking differently, perhaps more positively, as to how to deal with the difficult situation.

Most times, positive outlook promotes positive attitudes towards situations, events and circumstances, which will help you face life challenges with courage and optimism. When you travel new paths and embark on new journeys with courage, faith and vigour, your abilities will soar, and triumphant you will become. There is so much guidance around you when you look through problems and difficulties with faith and optimism, as it helps rebuild your trust in getting back to shape. Your thoughts will begin to mould towards the direction you have set your energies, and your actions will be dictated by your positively self-carved motivations.

Sometimes, all it requires to see your life glow, may just be a change in your thoughts and old ways of doing things. Perhaps this will open doors to see an all new you, previously dusted with false beliefs, making you think you were not capable of newer, greater achievements.

Procrastination

2012-09-13T10:38:00.000+01:00

How many times have you reminded yourself about that project or goal you've just put on hold or shoved off ? How many appointments have you called off or simply ignored because you thought it was better if scheduled for later, possibly another time more suitable or appropriate? Don't you forget, there may never be a suitable time until you are ready to make one available.

When you begin to postpone project start date, shift appointment time unjustifiably, and make alterations on your 'to-do' list without concrete actions, you will be alarmed, when you look back at time, how needlessly, you've put it to so much misuse.

Now and then, when it pops to mind that you are procrastinating a project or something of that sort, and probably tell yourself "it's time I stopped procrastinating this project", possibly due to an urge to do something, an inspiration from someone else's achievement or just a personally induced set plan to begin taking actions. This sort of feeling could indeed produce an action that could make massive difference you've always craved, rather than sitting on your marvellous dreams and aspirations all in the name of some flimsy excuses you may never get over, until you prepare to get over your fear and step beyond your comfort zone. Not until that step is taken, the feeling, may well just be as meaningless.

At this point, when you finally decide to take action, recognising and nurturing the feeling of power and positivity comes as important as actually stepping out to make those very first crucial moves. Whether what you need to do, is drafting a list of requirements, set out and plan your goals and objectives in a smart, realistic and chronological order, or even a phone call to get it all started, putting in a meaningful action, is definitely a critical step to take, if your dream must become a reality.

No doubt many people procrastinate due to a general blame on time or sometimes, lack of fund to execute their projects or manage their goals. However, in true practicalities these more often than not, are not genuine reasons those projects couldn't be implemented. This is because it takes readiness, courage , creativity and determination to find ways of reaching a dream land, rather than waiting endlessly in sheer expectation without any invention, to clear a regular , conventional path. Always blame yourself and nothing else, anytime you procrastinate on your goals needlessly. For you to achieve anything , you must be prepared to take actions, face challenges and also take risks , at every single stage in developing, planning and achieving your goals. It must be noted that it is not the grandest of action that will make things happen, rather, it is the positive, regular, focused tiny steps you begin to take that defines where and how your dreams will lead. Knowing how to formulate your actions for successful implementation of your plans is highly important, with an added tint of creativity in manipulating whatever comes your way, always to your advantage as much as you can, and most of all, your determination to succeed, will be a platform to build your actions and thoughts on.

2011-10-23T15:53:00.000+01:00

10 Ways To Say NO

One of the reasons people get tied down to where they do not want to be, is because they have refused to say no to those circumstances that have continually tied them down. Whether it's a human factor or a nagging situation, learning to say no at the right time, place and in the right manner, gives you much more than feeling fulfilled, it also clears the path for you to live without blaming yourself or getting unnecessarily angry at yourself.

Your inability to say no will affect your productivity and efficiency, being the result of taking on too many commitments, and when you take on too many things at a time, performance or excellent performance becomes a problem. Do you have difficulty saying "no"? Are you always trying to be nice to others at your expense?

Well, you’re not alone. For some reasons, many people have ditched the word 'no', to hurt themselves while they please others. This is not to say that you shouldn't be nice to people, but do not be unfair to yourself while being nice to people.

Why you find it difficult to say "NO".

You don't want to hurt the other person’s feelings - Saying 'no', necessarily doesn't mean hurting other people's feelings. It all depends on how you say it and your intent for saying no. Although you necessarily do not have to justify your reason for saying 'no', it is a great Personal development practice to ensure it's best for you when you do so.

You don't want to disappoint the person you’re saying 'no' to: We all get disappointed once in a while, and even nature as taught us to live by disappointments sometimes; when you can't help it, acknowledge it, and let the other person know, it's because you can't just fit it in.

Willingness to help: Sometimes, we feel the urge to help, even if the weight pulls us down. Imagine a Camel on the Sahara, each time it takes on this particular luggage, it walks six steps and then it goes down, for three consecutive attempts it happened so, isn't time to take a break? That is exactly what happens to you when you aim to help out, even though you are not capable of helping out. Identify it, say it nicely and free your mind. If you go ahead, you may stop mid-way and that hurts more on both sides.

You want to keep a long lasting relationship- If you must know, what keeps relationship, is being a true honest self, right from the outset. When you continually please people for the wrong reasons, you will someday come to a point, where you can go no further and this is when you begin to disappoint people . You however have a duty to live up to it and take the step, knowing how to say no.

Don't want to be rude: This is just a 'mind -set', that when you say 'no', you are being rude . Saying 'no' does not necessarily mean being rude, rather the manner with which you say it, may be rude, and that is why you need to learn how to say 'no' nicely.

You want to be seen and called "Nice"- The only nice thing about being nice is feeling soulfully nice.

To avoid conflict: No matter how hard you try, some people just want you to accept whatever they want you to do and never seem to understand your point of view. For this reason, or just because you assumed so, you feel jerky there might be a conflict if you reject him/her. What I will say is; try avoid any form of confrontation, try to say' no', as politely as you can, hold on to the fact that, it's simply because you can't afford to help the person, and sooner than later, you will feel the inner peace you deserve.

Over time, I have come to realize that these reasons people fear to say no, are basically, misconceptions. Saying “No” doesn’t mean all these things above, and do not necessarily create a negative atmosphere. These are all false beliefs that have been built in the mind over time.

10 Simple Ways To Say “No”

Rather than have it as a burden on you, just follow these simple ways to turn down things or situations you sincerely can't help.

1. "I Will not be able to this at this time."

2."No, I can’t."

3."This is not a really good time as I’m in the middle of something."

4."I will be privileged to assist once I complete this project".

5."No, not now, you may get in touch later".

6. "I’d love to do this, but …"

7." I'm fully booked at the moment, and will not be able to take up more responsibilities".

8."I’m not the best person to help on this."

9."How could you expect me to do a thing like that for you?"

10."I wish I could help..."

Learning the art of saying no, may save more than the burden of getting overworked and having to live with limitless commitments.

The Benefits of coping with Adversity

2011-09-30T17:25:00.000+01:00

..."My failing identity leaves me poorly

The absence of true life is sickly
Whether here or there I know not
Here is no longer where it ought
So hot hardly can bear
And no air; can I hear
In my silence I know solitude
For a dashed hope I take refuge
Such that my soul deserves not
...in my silence there is pain..."

Anthology of Poems. Mutiat Adebowale,2010.

The Human structure is naturally inclined to put up with feelings such as Self-pity, self-rejection and pessimism, at the beat of the negatives that adversity tends to bring. For the fear of pain, torture and sufferings, people allow their minds to be evaded by twisting emotions they allow to rule them, rather than take full control of the situation.

Whether it's a chronic disease situation, family in disarray, financial calamity, life mess or career disappointments, there can always be a better way to view adversity, to effectively cope and manage the threats on your happiness. You cannot eliminate adversity as, it is part of the challenges of nature, but you can train not to suffer from it.

When you look beyond the negatives you feel towards a difficult situation, you will find that there is always an uplifting meaning you can attribute to it. All you need do is, switch angle, and view your situation from a different perspective. Adversities tend to come with specific lessons to be learnt and more often than not, they make you stronger if you allow a positive outlook to it. This is not to say there are no breaking points in life, but beyond this, is just a chance of rediscovery, if you do not give up hope, or give in to despair, worry and those other emotions that creep in when challenges come. When you fail to crumble, you can begin to feel the strength that lies within you, and communicate not with the pains of your body, but with the salvation in the power of your soul.

When you positively appraise threatening events, you are more likely to adapt positively to the situation, creating positive changes in your personal and spiritual well being. Researchers have shown that finding benefits and reminding one's self of the benefits embedded in a rather difficult situation, can improve one's emotional well being, even at the most difficult of times.

It is not surprising that during deep trials and challenges, relationships with family and friends become more strengthened, when you accept it, you will gain positive optimism, patience, courage, resilience, tolerance and sometimes, a valued change in your life's priorities. Adversities creates a whole new vision if your thoughts are properly channelled.

The point is that, we generally have a basic assumption of a "set-order" of life, which makes adversity become a shattering experience when it happens, because we have assumed we are invulnerable to harm and can set value to everyday event. In reality however, this is nothing but a personal theory that holds no ground. Knowing and accepting the realities of change helps you better accommodate the new realities and build structures for your personal adaptation.

Managing Adversity

To effectively manage any crisis situation or any adversity, you need to acknowledge it and accept it. Shying away from the challenges or not accepting it, will rather make it a bigger issue and extend the process and time to tackle it. Know that the powers to respond positively towards the adversity , eventually lies with you.

Be grateful for the other things that give you wholesome happiness, for in your gratitude, you will make a path for self-rediscovery, you will be able to look beyond your present situation and look ahead to the opportunities that lies beyond the present predicament.

Reach for a higher state of superior self-awareness. Re-evaluate yourself. As earlier said, adversity helps you grow in mind and in soul, it makes you become resilient to events as they unfold and gives the opportunity for positive personality change, thereby helping you to practise and grow with a 'mind-set' you never once thought about.

Change your view point about it. Know that adversities are a part of life, and are mostly temporary as adversities if well handled. If it doesn't kill you, it helps you become stronger in life. Change your mental frame from seeing your situation as a problem to a prospect.

By understanding that there also benefits in any situation you find yourself, no matter how difficult at first, you will be able to explore and understand the positives sides to your situation. You will also be able to put the new reality adversity brings, to a good use if you view it with an open mind.

Take action. Adversity demands you do something. You need to decide what steps you can almost immediately take to help yourself; no matter how little. Getting to do something no matter how small, is definitely more productive than doing nothing but wallowing in self-pity and complaining.

Develop new strategy, technique or a manner or get help from a professional therapist/practitioner, if need be. Help is always around the corner, but most of all, the greatest of help lies in your acceptance and within you.

We are all different, unique and special as individuals and have different approaches to things. You will be best suited to draw a plan of how you want to carry life. It is the responsibility of every individual to decide what they want and how they want it.

The way you manage adversity will define who you are and determine where you are heading; because that turn you call 'adversity' can be your opportunity for greatness.

Managing and controlling your anger effectively

2011-09-05T08:46:00.002+01:00

Anger is a natural feeling, which every individual has the right to express, and that is why it is not totally condemnable. Anger is not necessarily bad for as long as it is expressed at the appropriate level, time, place and person. Uncontrollable anger is always negative, whether expressed or suppressed. When you repress your anger, it affects just about everything; relationships, health, performance, ability to enjoy and appreciate good things, amongst other things. Anger is a cover-up for other emotions such as fear, hurt and confusion. Sometimes, it may be expressed as a sign of insecurity or even self -loathe, without you knowing. For as long as you express your anger appropriately, when it serves a purpose, then, there shouldn't be any problem. Anger becomes a problem when it is delayed or repressed or when it is let out uncontrollably.

Some people believe that it's alright if they get angry, reckoning the emotion is necessary to their survival. It is never beneficial to allow your anger run your life. Some people believe anger is justifiable at some points and instances; but if you are able to justify your being angry, how will you justify your relapse? When you do not restrain your anger, making it become out of control, it makes you do irrational and hurtful things to yourself as well as whoever you are angry at. Anger causes emotional and even physical damage, and sometimes, it humiliates you. It brings about regret, guilt and embarrassment for the things you have said and done. It creates strained relationships and discomfort. Worse still, uncontrolled anger takes life.

It may not be extremely easy to maintain total peace when confronted with provoking or aggravating situations, but it is good to know that whenever you let loose your anger, you will be battered and hurt as much as the other person, if not more. Giving way for regular uncontrolled anger causes not only pain and disharmony, it suppresses your spiritual growth and disconnects you from your true essence, driving you away from your fundamental nature. It also gradually diminishes your self-esteem. Practising patience, self-restraint and learning to deal with your anger in a constructive way are the best tools for you. Dealing with uncontrollable anger can take time, lots of deliberate effort. Holding yourself together in the middle of a confrontation that could make you lose your temper chaotically, could be really demanding, but you may begin by asking yourself these questions:

Why am I getting upset at this?
Do I really have a good reason to get upset at this?
Is it beneficial to let go of my cool?
Do I have any concern with something else, or is this just this issue?

Asking these questions will help you understand your feelings and your reasons for your actions better.

Take a deep breath, fold your arms- do whatever it takes to buy time; try walking away in order to regain composure.

However, on a long term basis, you need to identify and come to terms with anger management as a problem for you. Think of all the damages and hurt anger has caused you in terms of your personal, health and work life and any other way you may think of. Once you realise how destructive your uncontrollable anger has been or could be, then you can begin to work towards putting it under control permanently.

How to control your anger

Approach anger constructively by trying to understand others, to see things from their perspective, accept and tolerate them. This will create the possibility to resolve the conflict amicably.

Engage in a discussion about what happened. Get someone else you can talk to about what's causing the anger. Share your experience. It helps you quell the heat every time you face a difficult situation.

Create an avenue for communication, whereby both parties can speak out about your feelings and concerns calmly without arguments and interruptions.

Do not be rigid. When it is appropriate, always seek resolution and compromise, rather than future discord.

Get creative-Learn to have fun and keep yourself busy doing something creative. E.g. sewing, knitting, singing, writing, music, arts/ crafts or any special skills or talents you have. It keeps your mind and thoughts positively in tune with ideas and helps you release tension.

Practise patience- This may be difficult especially if you are entirely full of energy and naturally impatient. You may require some specials skills to practice this, but you can firstly, cultivate the habit of staying calm and learn not to talk back at people when confronted. Seek to explain your side clearly and constructively. Be willing to accept your mistakes and be a good listener, giving all parties, the opportunity to communicate and be listened to.

Release Your Physical Tension - Beat a cushion, throw punches at the sofa, do some exercise or bang a few well-built doors. Screw your face up several times in a mirror and then let the muscles relax. You can also growl, scream or shout in the mirror or at an empty room.

Encourage yourself with some Positive self-help statements, e.g. I can cope with this, I don't need to lose my temper for this, Calm down, take it easy, I won't take this personal, it's not worth a fight etc.

Managing your anger is crucial to your total well being. Do something today.

Make your communication skills more effective

2011-08-16T05:23:00.000+01:00

Communication is one of the most important tools with which we carry out our daily activities, it is a very useful ingredient in our bid to fulfil the essence of our livelihood.

Communication is the exchange of information between a sender and a receiver through a channel that must bear a communicative commonality between both parties. The communication process can only be complete if the receiver understands the sender, as this is the bedrock of any meaningful and effective communication. It is the chain of understanding that integrates all the parties involved in the communication process.

As important as communication is, in our personal and business lives, so also is the ability to ensure its effectiveness.

However, there are numerous problems that affect our communication, and hence, hinder it from being effective.

Simple issues that could be solved by being polite, analytical and constructive are being left to degenerate into conflict situations as parties refuse to reason along the path of what is being communicated.

There is no doubt that up till this present day, the lack of honest and open communication is a common denominator in our dysfunctional families, societies and business relationships. This is because we continuously fail to communicate constructively, and in a straightforward way. There are marriages greatly suffering because partners cannot speak honestly and openly at issues affecting their marriage. We have seen marriages crumble because of couples’ inability to speak respectfully and constructively with each other, simply by failing to apply the basic communication requirements needed to promote tranquillity at home. Also, over 60% of work place problems are as a result of breakdown in communication between and among staff. This trend increasingly, implies that there is still the need to foster effective communication in all parts of our society.

For communication to be effective and meaningful, you should always say what you mean the way you mean it and communicate your thoughts, feelings and opinions in a healthy and constructive way. The way you communicate is a manifestation of your wholeness as an individual and says a lot about you. If your communication skills fail to be adequately right, it snatches away the full benefit and potentials you can claim in both your social and spiritual world.

Sometimes, for the fear of unknown, or simply pulling back at something, you leave things unsaid, allowing them to fester within you, creating and deepening the roots of self- discomfort, dejection and perhaps hatred or other negative feelings towards yourself and the other person; invariably burying the cause for a great way to maintain good relationship both at home and at work; wherever it may have occurred, because the other person, will not know what is in your mind and such habits breakdown relationships. Learning to improve your communication skills can have positive and permanent rewards for your business performances and personal relationships.

You should learn to be a better communicator, as this fosters and maintains good work environment and peaceful co-existence among people. Language skills is though the primary form of communication, sometimes expressing our selves with other body languages may well be more adequate than just using words of mouth. These choices in ways of communicating makes it better to fully express your thoughts and feelings in different places, and different ways as suited by the situation. As much as you want to be a good communicator, so also should you learn to listen properly. We all know the hurt we feel when we realise that someone we are talking to is not listening, to us, but to gain such, attention, you should also exhibit interest in the other person’s feelings, thoughts and opinions. For any communication to be effective, listening is perhaps more important than talking, as the understanding that exists between both parties greatly, forms the bond.

Sometimes, being able to communicate effectively may require great practice, and a need to overcome your fear and self – consciousness. You may also need to actively learn to talk with other people, with the necessary communication skills. Skills to initiate conversation, keep it going and ending it appropriately may seem a bit difficult, but trying these tips will definitely simplify the process for you.

Learn to communicate your thoughts, feelings and opinions openly, honestly, and straightforwardly.

Talking out of negative emotions such as anger, frustration, etc., is never beneficial as it rumples the communication process.
When you have to give instructions or make numerous requests, do it sequentially, don’t muddle up things. Be logical, clear and direct when communicating and always complete your dialogues.
Do not assume that your recipient knows what you intend to say.
Understanding your communication skills and deficiencies help you structure your pattern and style of communication and ensures its effectiveness. Take time to study yourself and find ways to improve where necessary.
Try to be flexible in your communication styles and approaches, by applying necessary and basic communication techniques at different times as you require.
You should exert some control over the flow of the communication. When you have difficulties in expressing yourself at any given time, take a deep breath, get your points together, familiarise yourself with your message and see it flow within you as stress free as possible before voicing it out.
Mind the tone of your verbal communication, as tones depict different meanings to what is said. Be sure of the impact you want your communication to have on your recipient in a bid to express yourself as intended and be understood in the same way.
Good listening makes communication more productive, particularly when we listen, to understand in an empathetic and non-judgemental way.
Always communicate with the spirit of understanding, positivity and respect.

All these tips are useful to make communication processes more effective at work and at home.

As an individual, it is a personal responsibility to discover the power of your communicative potentials and of utmost importance to use it, positively to your advantage. The way you communicate tells other people how you perceive yourself and also influences how other people relate to you.

Ways to use music for effective self empowerment and actualisation

2011-08-08T10:01:00.000+01:00

What is music to you? How does music affect you?

Generally, we may say music is an artful blend of sounds. It should also be harmonious, rhythmic and melodious.

However, to different people, music connotes different meanings and as such, it is responded to differently. Individual perception and responses to music greatly depends on taste, though, generally, music is perceived to be an exciting intake for human senses and well being, provided it is good music. What then constitutes good music?

You may like to consider what music has the ability to make you feel happy, sad, anxious, energetic, optimistic or depressed, so as to know how well to apply music to achieve positivity. To add to the effect of music is the inserted lyric, which adds another dimension to it. If the words are uplifting you are more likely to feel encouraged about everything than listening to words that helps you go down in dejection.

Songs of hope, appreciation, songs strengthening your purpose in life and inspiring you that you can make good of your life if you work hard and try; and not sad songs that help you wallow more in self-pity and make you believe what’s lost is gone and there is no more hope for you, should you get attuned to .

Songs that will depress you further and render your energy and strength useless should generally be avoided for the sake of positive self-development. Only songs that will keep you going and help you look for ways to make the best out of life should be reckoned with. However, mindful and positive use of music can best be result oriented, because just like other intoxicants, so also can music intoxicate? Music should be listened to, proportionately, not allowing an overdose of it, and good music that will help you focus on positive trends are the best. Accurate appreciation and perception of music is a valuable skill you should aim to acquire.

Research has also shown music to play a significant part in the development of the synaptic connections in cell networks. This, in turn, has positive effects on children’s and adults’ learning abilities. A number of studies have shown the power of music as a plus to cognitive abilities like reasoning and motor skills. The ‘Mozart effect’ is just one example of the effect of music on intelligence.

Music is not just very powerful at affecting your mood state instantly; it overwhelms your entire make-up.
Once you are aware of how music affects you, this is your personal power, which you must use in choosing your kind of music, to attain what emotions you want to build up, e.g. If you are feeling desperately tired, do certain tunes give you energy? What helps if you’re thinking gloomy?

For your own self-empowerment, music that inspires you to achieve positivity is just all you need.

Here are some of the other benefits of Music:

Music enhances listening skills
It is a great tool for relaxation and helps reduce stress levels
Music prevents you from focusing on problems
It transforms negativity into positivity
It helps in developing one’s intelligence
It helps improve concentration and sometime allows for clearer thoughts

Consider how best music works for you and increase the benefits therein. It is one of the tools for greater self-actualisation which helps you take control of your life and working towards your goals and dreams. As you work more on your Self Development, adding music to your other tools, will help you achieve more success.

Making the most of your precious time, is not just time management

2011-08-01T10:07:00.001+01:00

Time is going, yet moves not

I race against time, still cannot catch.

Motionless as may be, its speed I dare not match

Time is going, yet moves not.

What is it about time that we often find ourselves struggling with it? After all time is our opportunity. It is the privilege of the period we have to exist and do what we want to do. We are supposed to be in control of our time, though not in a way to be accurate about every detail of our everyday events, but definitely in some other ways. The fact that we can’t hold down time and make use of it as frivolously as we wished is absolutely what gave time the edge over us. No wonder there is so much about the ‘big thing’ TIME. Time is precious and time is the absolute factor we run our lives on. It is almost everything. A time to laugh and a time to cry, a time to be serious and a time to play, there is about time for everything. How conscious are you about the opportunity of the time you have?

Time management in the professional sense of it, is just but the process of exercising conscious control over your allocated work time in regards to specific activities, especially to increase efficiency or productivity. In situations like this, you talk about planning, allocating, setting goals, monitoring, organizing, scheduling, and prioritizing, all these are office jargon.

How do you utilize your everyday time? Is it possible to turn your time into such that will be remembered by you and others as beyond fulfilling?

How well do you seek to spend your time? Do you always look for time to chat away and get drenched in unending wrangling? Or is it work without limits? There is no doubt times are stiff nowadays, but remember time will always throw back what you throw at it. If you believe in managing your time properly to accommodate responsible working, quality time with friends and family as well as other squares you have to attend then you can achieve it. Good management of time and resources help create a balance in an individual’s work, social and spiritual life, and striking this balance, is what tells how dignifying an individual is. It is good to take advantage of the time we have to do what ought to be done. By this I mean don’t leave what you have to do today till tomorrow, because tomorrow may be too late. “Make hay while the sun shines”. Don’t postpone the start date of a project you were supposed to start today till tomorrow, because the opportunities present today, may not be available tomorrow. If you are planning to make some amends with an old friend, family members or other loved ones, do it now, the opportunity you have now may cease to be there later. Tell someone you love them, show appreciation to those who deserve it and begin to make your mark where you deem necessary, for times waits not, even though we are the ones running.

Make your time alive precious, beaming endlessly as a time to always celebrate.

Effects of Positive Parenting in child personality development

2011-07-25T09:46:00.000+01:00

One sunny afternoon, as I laid by the riverbank, I watched as the sea rose and fell, the tide was enormous, and I couldn’t but sigh at the marvellous work of nature that was beginning to create lots of shades in my mind. The high tide was fearful though, its innocence still shimmered with the sprinkles running back, each time it bamboozled me. Just then two little boys of about four years old ran by, obviously playing together with the beach ball they had. As the tide rose higher, one of the mothers ran after the boys and shouted at her son that it was time for home. Passing by me, the mother scolded the poor lad questioning how he could have been playing with such a dirty lizard. “Why mummy, is he a lizard?” The little boy asked. “Shut up”, the mother shouted the boy down as they walked farther down and their voices vanished more.

I stood and wondered why the mum had referred to the other boy as a dirty lizard, didn’t really look dirty to me and obviously not a lizard. I felt a pinch, knowing she has just sent a negative signal to her son about playing with little kids like him and most critical the fact that such comments may begin to shape his personality and affect his emotional development in terms of relationship with other people, and attitudes, as he grows older, if she constantly does that. Being at the scene of the incident, I knew clearly that the mum used such words due to her personal perception of the other little boy, rating perhaps in terms of appearance, colour, class, or beauty but definitely not because the poor boy was evidently dirty.

It is easier to mould the mind of a child towards a particular manner than it is for adults. When a child begins to grow, he learns through everything he founds around him with greater influence on the habits and manners he picks from parents or guardians and such manners are displayed beyond the household. There is no doubt that parents are responsible for eighty per cent of what makes up the personality of a child and therefore it is expected that high quality upbringing should be ensured.

Children need to have a developing awareness of their needs as well as the views and feelings of others. They need to develop with a sense of respect for their cultures, beliefs and those of others as well as knowledge of agreed values and codes of conduct wherever they find themselves.

Children need to be taught, that in a classroom setting for example, they need to be able to work and play as part of a group, tolerating other people as well as sharing chores and toys harmoniously. However, this essential aspect of child’s development cannot be handled by teachers alone; they are part of the core basis of positive parenting.

As adults, we all know that a greater amount of what made us as individuals is the habits, manners, and personality traits we inherited from our childhood and that is why we have to go through rigorous schemes turning it round when we realise they are not the best for us.

When parents sow the seeds of hatred, intolerance, disrespect and all these other negative behavioural vices in their children for their self-comfort, it only does not affect the feelings and make-up of the child as he grows, it also deepens the wound of the society.

Child discipline is definitely of core importance, it simply should be done in a way that the child will begin to reason positively as to why he was meant to go through the process of disciplining with every necessary explanation given as a means to jointly work on the expected behaviour.

For a child to grow up with a huge degree of self-esteem, the child has to be nurtured by parents who themselves have great self-value.

Positive parenting eschews characteristics that promote low self-worth, lack of confidence, and prejudice. Bringing up a child, in a way that will afford him to have a positive mind-set to make good decisions is tough, but crucial. It comes with abundant rewards but most of all, it is dignifying to both child and parent as the child assumes adulthood.

Marriage tips to live with after your wedding day

2011-07-18T10:00:00.000+01:00

Why choose wedding over marriage?

While some people go into marriage for all it takes, bearing in mind that it needs a lot of hard work, sacrifices and great values to make it work, other people simply welter in the glamour and grandness of the wedding. Marriage is a natural institute set up by the laws of nature, it is definitely wonderful no doubt, but a proper mind set, could be all that is required for a ‘happy married life’.

Over centuries ago, weddings have become as famous as the world we live in and increasingly it rose from ordinary family affairs to huge societal festivities. Because of the uniqueness of the day, it has been termed as a bride’s most glorious day in her lifetime. However beneath the underlining tones and embellishment of the day lies the realities of marriage. There are definitely no formal classes, courses or educational programmes that can teach the tenets and essentials of a successful marriage, what matters is the couple’s concern and consciousness to make the marriage real can never be underestimated. While a lot of people wallow in the fancy and glamour of their wedding day, they have simply forgotten to take notes of the rudiments of a workable married relationship. However true it is that there is no expert that can teach precisely how couples should live together amicably, there are still values every couple who believes in marriage should stick with.

Purpose for marriage- There should be an ultimate purpose for marriage which generally should be the love that the couple share and hold for each other. As the realities of marriage unfolds, couples will realise that love is not enough to keep the happy times unending and so the essential values do need to get to work if marriages must last. Most of the time, when true lovers unfortunately break their marriage, it usually is because they ignored or failed to apply the essentials of marriage or did not foresee what their actions could cause which inevitably sows in them a pang of guilt.

Respect—Respect is definitely of core importance to couples as this constantly reminds you of what you mean to each other. No one likes to be treated like nobody, because that steals away any individual’s confidence and self-worth, but in a marriage all it takes is a really good talking about it. Sometimes, you make some mistakes without the intention to hurt your partners, but once pointed out, should be fine. In particular, men like to be respected and to be in control. So, it’s important to let your husband think he is in control. We all know that the woman runs the show, but it’s good when you let the man think he does! It really works well.

Perseverance- The idea that everything is rosy and everyday will be full of great surprises and lovely treats is a fallacy. Some days will be great, a few others will be bad; depending on what you term good or bad. Whenever things are not exactly the way you would have loved it, still persevere, remember that it will always get better if you give it the chance and put in an effort.

Tolerance-For some reasons, some strange behaviour emerges after marriage that you find difficult to put up with. Always have it in mind, that as human beings, we sometimes fail to be consistent. You should have a heart to tolerate your spouse, talk about the need for change, act in a way to promote the desired change and accept it as some of the flaws of the human nature, after all no human being is unfailing.

Compromise-If you always want your life to go as planned or as you want it, you may have to rethink. Certain issues come up in marriage that will give you no better choice than to bend your rules, and most times this sort of rule bending don’t kill. They rather bring peace, progress, love and unity. Be gentle to each other and always resolve an issue between both of you as it happens, never let an argument carry on too long.

Communication- Why will any two people come together as one if they will merely speak to each other like strangers? Communication is a really effective tool at attaining most of life’s successes in all situations. When you speak about your deepest worries, problems, successes and hopes, you will further strengthen the bonds of the marriage that you built together.

Patience- Patience is one of the greatest virtues one can possess. The fact that couples need to exercise patience when dealing with most domestic problems and issues that arise cannot be over emphasized. When you frequently lose your patience over issues that could be resolved amicably in no time, you lose your value and debase your marriage thereby looking for an end to it. Patience is essential; it allows you to make up in real time and shuts out unnecessary anger, aggressiveness and bad temperaments.

Trust- Just as important as your everyday living together is, so also is the level of trust that must exist between the two of you. Where trust fails, there is nothing left. Learn to trust each other, believe in yourselves and always work together as a team.

Try doing new things-Spice up your marriage by introducing new and adventurous activities that keeps it all fresh .Don’t be mundane. Take great nice walks together, feel the fresh air around you, explore some DIYs together, share and chat about what’s on in the news, have a nice day out, eat together at the table and talk. Always remain attractive and appealing to yourselves and try to do what you two love as a couple often.

Be loving and forgiving helpful to each other. You need to grow in love emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Appreciate- When you give yourselves enough praise, making your spouse feel appreciated for all he/she does, you will spur yourselves into doing something better another time. Nothing should be made a challenge because you are not both running a race. Whatever you do should be for the benefit of both of you and the children if so be the case.

Don’t always believe you are right- Accept your mistakes and love to make amends. Even when you are right, accept some blames for the sake of love, that peace may reign. Know that one person has to give more than the other; don’t always expect a 50-50 situation all the time. It’s not possible and the earlier you accept that, the better for your marriage.

Marriage is a continuous working Centre. It needs to be constantly and gently nurtured. You can't become complacent nor can you accept anything but the best from yourself and from your spouse. It's a business forever-unfinished, requires you to keep working on it, going back to add details, make amends and corrections where necessary time and again. It's a team effort that requires the energies of both parties and if one isn't on board, it will gradually break down.

How to turn your past into a productive present

2011-07-04T09:25:00.002+01:00

What is past and what is present? We obviously know that our past is gone and the events that formed the past can never be redone. The good, the bad, the beautiful or the ugly; they’ve already occurred; and all over now. What is important whenever we reminisce on our past is to make it as productive and relevant as possible to our present. While you cannot change what has transpired, you can change how you think about what happened.

Usually, when you think about the past and ever allow the positive events to dominate your thoughts, the tendencies are that; you will likely be grateful for those happy moments and probably imagine reliving it which may result in another emotion of self-pity knowing very well you cannot relive the past. In some cases, it helps you think of ways to improve your present so that the happiness continues. On the contrary, if ever your memory of the events you termed as negative needs to be revisited, unless you deal with the emotions associated with those events, you will continue to carry them with you into the present moment. To a large extent, if you failed to resolve issues of the past, the memories of such experiences become responsible for your spiritual and emotional bankruptcy when you become an adult. For instance if as a child, you were greatly abused, molested or had been harshly criticized and failed to deal with it earlier on, you are more likely to become very defensive and insecure in your adult life, which in essence becomes part of you and a way of life.

When you do not let go of tales of unhappiness, resentment, or rejection that filled your past you find it increasingly difficult to merge present activities to your dreams, sometimes the feelings you hold on to from your past experiences even deter you from aspiring as high as possible, having allowed those emotions of fear, revenge, guilt, blame or insecurity, to affect other areas of your life; which may include your relationships with people, attitudes, business and money matters.

Undoubtedly, many of us have events, situations or people in our histories, which still evoke some emotions in us, but there is always time to work on such emotions in order to move beyond it. Maybe you were abused as a child and still believe you can never live beyond the vestiges of that? Or you are finding it hard to forgive yourself for something you did years ago, and the guilt won’t just fade? There is nothing you can’t achieve if you believe and try. The mistakes of yesteryear, either by you or other people, that have deposited a great deal of negative feelings within your body and soul, could be transformed from a severe liability into a valuable asset.

While you could successfully do away with your feelings of anger, revenge, guilt, blame or fear, you simply didn’t because there is a reward from holding onto your pain.

You gain a lot from the thrill of the story. By having the story to tell, you derive some pleasure and get accepted by others. You create a stir and pacify your individual need for attention and the emotional energy associated with the event is refreshed every time you tell your story.

There is no harm in telling stories of your past but not in a way to allow you to whirl in your self-pity, or make others feel sorry for you because this simply puts you down and draw you back into unpleasant meditations. Why not choose to use your past as a resource for progress rather than a pool for pain? Why not choose to use your past as a sort of benchmark, counting your blessings on how well you have transformed your past into an inspiration for others? Many people are comfortable making themselves feel bad and do so at any opportunity. No matter what acknowledgement and attention you receive from sinking yourself into the ludicrous slush of sad tales, it can’t be as gainful as directing all your energies to your present moment, striving with focus for a greater tomorrow.

Tips to help

Make amends where possible – If you need to make an apology for a past event and you really know it is possible for you to do so, then go ahead and free your mind, body and soul. Say sorry to whom you think deserves it. However, if you require an apology, don’t demand it except it is given voluntarily, don’t get stuck to the idea that you deserve an apology and not tendered. You often get disappointed expecting some people to do the right things. It keeps you stuck and away from achieving something greater. Take your mind off it and deem it inessential, because not until you cut that chain, you cannot move forward. The process of making amends continue as you constantly aim to improve on our attitudes, behaviours, and a change in our outlook of the past in ensuring that the grievous harm from the past is totally erased.

Remember the past without strong emotions –Learn not to revisit your past morbidly or needlessly. You should practice letting go of the feelings that bring back the hurt you knew before and always view your past from a perspective that will make it as harmless as possible to you. See your past as a depot of knowledge and information which can help you make connections to elevate your self-esteem, courage and confidence.

Forgive

Need for acceptance- You have to accept the past, appreciate the experiences and acknowledge the lessons you have been able to learn from such experiences as all those will impact on your actions towards the positive changes required. You will then begin to tell just a story from one mile of the journey of your life and nothing more, simply accepting without condition and the more you accept, you become more accepting and forgiving to and of others.

No matter what your past experiences may be, you can live happier, without any grudge against yourself and anyone else by being in control of your actions and decisions and accept that your past had been the it was, simply because nature wanted it so. You have choices with your present moment and you can make the best use of the tools you now have.

HOW YOU CAN EFFECTIVELY MANAGE WORK RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE

2011-06-27T07:23:00.000+01:00

Workplaces are indeed one of the most important places we find ourselves almost every day in our work life, and as important as our workplaces are, so also are the rising challenges we face almost on a daily basis. It is not uncommon that we tend to complain about the stress that comes with our jobs and to add to that are personal attitudes of colleagues that do not add to the quality of our day at work.

Dealing with difficult colleagues on a daily basis can be extremely trying and frustrating, but mostly, the resolve lies with us without knowing. One thing that is usually certain is that when for any reason you begin to have regular difficulties in dealing with a colleague at work, you want a change to that, and to bring about the change, you need to find a way to identify what the problem is and then strive for a way to resolve the problem. However, most times, when problems arise between colleagues, it may not be very easy to find such solutions as quickly as expected because such difficult colleague may not be willing to look out for solutions as you do, so, you may want to look within and see how you can influence the necessary change through working on yourself, learning to understand the person, accommodating the difficult person, trying other collaborative efforts to ensure cooperation or other stiff practices on how to go through tough situations with peace and grace.

There are different reasons we tend to brand some colleagues ‘difficult’; but considering the inadequacies of human nature, it is always important to examine other factors connected to the situation or colleagues being tagged as difficult. Sometimes, problems arise simply because we do not agree on some set of rules, beliefs or values that do not necessarily have anything to do with the work itself and because your perspective greatly influences your responses, you may need to review your perspective on such issues as they do not directly affect the work you both do. For instance, a colleague who regularly chews gum at work may become increasingly annoying or irritating to you because you do not value such habits and to some extent this could begin to cause some friction between you, but if you simply ignore it, try mind your business, though not necessarily needing to like the habit, both of you may come to know some peace, because sometimes trying to change a colleague’s personality or attitudes often don’t generate the kind of effect expected. However, you could politely speak to your colleague about the habit if there is room for that and if it changes things then the better, otherwise just leave things as they are and get something else to get your attention off such habit you don’t like about your colleague, so that it doesn’t generate into a real big issue, especially when it does not directly affect your productivity and efficiency at work, and particularly if it doesn’t even affect other people.

In general, People tend to be difficult when they are not sure of the mutual benefits in a collaborative effort, particularly when it has to do with team work; so, you need to be open and to always let everyone know what’s in it for them and not just you reaping the entire bonus.

In contrast to that, if the source of the problem is anything to do with your efficiency, performance or convenience at work and other related matters, then you would have to be firm and assertive in regards to seeing things change for the better. In cases where the problem between you and a colleague does affect your performance, then there is a need for a good conversation. Don’t leave minor problems unattended otherwise; they will grow into major stress. It’s good to have simple and honest conversation about the problems before it all escalates.

Most of the time, it is of great importance to have one to one conversation with a colleague whose attitude confronts your performance or progress. In a case where you sense bullying or behaviours that intentionally undermine your abilities, there are needs for a clear-cut action, because there is a clear recognition of what acceptable behaviour is and what is not. Any negative behaviour that undermines, threatens, deliberately offends or humiliates is bullying and apart from that, when you begin to feel nervous about work simply because of a workmate, it generally affects your well being and may spread to other aspects of your life.

As earlier stated, even when the problem is largely work related, seeking resolve in a polite and professional manner produces better results.

You will have to ensure that you control your temper, don’t become a nuisance disrupting public peace, be in charge of your responses and don’t get carried away to prevent over reacting. Make conscious choices about how you will respond, whether you get what you want or not so that there will be room for a problem-solving environment that will incorporate everyone’s needs, values, and perspectives.

If you go about solving the problem with open minds, you will find out that even the most irritating and vociferous work mates are the best to have on the team, provided you deal properly with them. You could turn their hidden talents into assets for everyone. You must know that every employee/colleague is a valuable asset, whatever they are like.

Other tips for dealing with difficult work colleagues include;

Build Relationships:
All you need to do is to establish cordial work relationship with your co-workers by simply talking to people. Do not make yourself an island at work. Listen to people. Spend time with them and show you all belong together as colleagues.

Focus on Outcomes:
You have goals and visions for yourself as an employee and whilst you are working towards these, you are able to take really objective positions which mould your attitude and personality. Working with a 'difficult person' is challenging, but focus on where you are going, not the personal issues you face.

Be Open:

Being open to other people’s situation, personalities often allow for greater tolerance and it fosters warm relationship amongst colleagues. Manage your internal judging voice and Seek to understand `difficult people’ quite clearly. Being judgemental will not allow you reason properly because our judgements if given the chance sometimes becloud honest reasoning.

Often, difficult people needs attention, and they need you to agree with them, you may need not to, in order to get rid of them for instance when someone regularly bores you with dirty gossips, undue complaints about work, or unflinching intimidation. Other times, giving them the attention they need by seeking their input and making them feel important to work decision, when they exhibit traits of someone being resented, unappreciated or unimportant and thereby becoming increasingly unpleasant may be the only trick you need.

Dealing with difficult people needs working on you, your patience, persistence, endurance and professionalism, but the effort will always worth the final outcome.

Why give unconditionally?

2011-06-17T16:50:00.000+01:00

All around us, we seem to hear, echo and speak of giving, sharing and showing kindness. It’s been proved severally that these are the best acts that can make the world a better place, and of course we can’t be wrong with the scientific and the spiritual laws of giving and receiving. There is no doubt that even the tiniest of such good gestures goes a long way. Naturally, it is believed that when you give out in kindness, you in turn receive kindness in multiple folds. However, giving and sharing love and goodness starts from you. You are supposed to look after yourself as much as you will look after other people. So it starts inwardly and is extended to other people. You can’t give love if you don’t have love within you and if you don’t love yourself how you could express love to other people. If you do not invest time, money and care in yourself how do you expect to reap and share from your inner qualities? And remember, it is what you make of yourself that you can share around.

I chatted to a friend about sharing love and goodness with other people without forgetting myself but she believed that was not selfless enough. So, I made an allusion of a situation where I was as hungry as someone else and I had simply a bowl of food; it will only be wise and realistic if I shared the bowl of food between us appropriately than give it all to the other person leaving my tummy empty and my whole body without strength, except if I wanted to create an `impression’ or awaits a reward from that action. Sharing the bowl of food between both of us would have left me with no sense of doing something great while I did what was necessary when needed and ideally, I would have forgotten I did anything at all.

What beats me is, often, when we give out we give for the wrong reasons which is why we don’t receive the kind of things we are supposed to receive when we give. We simply give that we may receive back directly from our actions. As I said earlier, the law of reciprocity is universal. When you give with pure hearts you receive from the purity and abundance of nature, but when you give specifically to gain in whatever form, yes, you may do, but you will only limit the source from which you can receive from the abundance of the universe. Showing love, kindness, concern and all these nice things with a reason only diffuses your purpose and intention for giving, it as a matter of fact becomes a determinant in you doing as much charity or acts of kindness as you can. A lot of people hold back on giving because they think they are not sure of getting the recognition, praise or appreciation they deserve, others think if they give from what they acquire through hard work, they are being unnecessarily generous or may lack in some ways. On the other hand, some people do nice things that they may gain authority, power or dominance over their recipients. All of these rewards may come but would have defeated the purpose for which any individual should be generous or kind. We should always give kindness and show goodness for no reason except that it’s pleasant to both of you.

For instance, when you render a service or an act of kindness for recognition and for some reasons you fail to receive the recognition and appreciation you require, it automatically affects your purpose of rendering the service in the first place and a multiplication effect is that you are likely to withdraw from doing such things because you fear for uncertain `paybacks’ you consciously expect.

A direct sale recruit once told me that as a strategy to sell, she made a duty of smiling to all her neighbours far and near. As time went by some people became regular customers some bought things occasionally and some neighbours couldn’t be bothered. Soon those who noticed her new attitude when she became more friendly, smiley and nice did not fail to notice it, when she maintained such stance only with neighbours who continued to patronise her and continued to be her normal self to others who couldn’t be bothered, and soon it all collapsed because more than ever, she’d exposed her personality problem.

Being nice to others shouldn’t be for a reward other than it makes both parties feel good, and giving as much as a smile could be as heavenly as life.

Value your creation and appreciate your existence

2011-06-10T10:04:00.003+01:00

Early one morning, as I hurried to work, I realized I had forgotten to do a number of things which I ought to have done; I had probably overslept the previous night. As I got to the train station, I remembered I had to make a call before boarding the train, and as I took out my phone from my bag, I was utterly surprised that the battery had gone completely flat, leaving my heart to pound fiercely, invading every possible option for a resolve to my problem. While I thought of what to do, I saw the train approached my platform, I knew once I got on to it there was no more hope for me being an underground train, even if I got to borrow a phone from someone nice, which is less likely to happen. In a flash of seconds, the train pulled by and hesitantly I hopped on, otherwise I was going to be late for work.

Sitting opposite a gentle man and a lady both of whom I was sure were going to work as well, I tried to juggle, my chances of making my call once I got to work wishing that things will not get out of hands. As I thought harder, unconsciously, I looked at the man and woman sitting right opposite me, as a line of their discussion pinched me. They weren’t particularly talking in low tones so it was easy to hear every of their conversation. “…do you know that not being sent for that training and the events after it has taught me to appreciate everything about life” the man said. I definitely couldn’t ask why, but there was an indication of something extraordinary about what he had said. Luckily, he continued. “I was really furious when I learnt of the list and realized my name was not on it, but look at me today, I am well and alive. Not that I rejoice that some of my colleagues have plunged to death as a result of a plane crash on their way from Dubai, where they had the training course, I’m just grateful that I’m alive today. So, there is a reason to appreciate and gratify whatever comes your way.” He said.

Having heard that, I had an idea of what he was trying to say and it beckoned back to me how well you should appreciate every situation you find yourself, perhaps there is always something to learn and value with every passing moment. From that day, I began to think good of my situation even the one I was facing at that moment. I said to myself; it was probably for a good reason and of course, it started manifesting before I got off the train. When you appreciate your situation you will open doors to explore greater opportunities coming forth.

Appreciation starts from as little as valuing our bodies and every part of it. Firstly, take a few moments from now, sit and begin to appreciate your body. It has taken you on so many adventures and experiences. No matter what your current situation is, be thankful that you are alive, even if your health is far from being perfect, you should still appreciate your body because in its appreciation you will open doors to explore ways of getting better. Appreciation lightens the heart and helps you feel better rather than be gloomy. Everyone has the ability of self-healing when you feel positive about your state of health when you are not very well. The likelihood of getting well or not depends greatly on how you feel about yourself.

On a general note, taking time to appreciate your body from top to toes will make you realize what a fabulous creation you are.

Learn to appreciate the food you eat, bless it and cherish it. There are too many things that could be appreciated in one’s life that will lead to increase in the good things of life than we can count; Families, Friends, work, the opportunity of every second witnessed alive, nature and lots more. Some people go through some difficult times so that they may move further to higher levels of endowments. While some people take courage and weather it through, others stop mid- way and botch the opportunity. Appreciation and gratitude are virtues.

I’ve heard so many people say, what is there to appreciate when I don’t have a job, money I require to meet my needs, a home to cherish and so on- but you will be surprised that feeling positive about these moments and believing that there opportunities to explore at such times, bring about new things you could never have imagined. Appreciation breeds self-esteem.

For example, when someone becomes unemployed; why not see it as a means to get to a next level of achievement? Why not see it as an opportunity to explore other avenues? Why not see a positive side to it. Why not search within and develop something new? Everybody has their creative potentials. After all, great things start from small beginnings and often, it is by turning tough times to tantalizing moments that human beings really get great. However, that can only be done when you see such situations as one for you to appreciate your other skills and maximise your potentials with the time you’ve got, and so does it apply to many other disappointing aspects and moments in life. There is always a blessing in every disappointment but you need to look really deeply to identify and appreciate it. Appreciation and gratification come with so many advantages.

Set your Goals above your fear

2011-06-03T09:23:00.001+01:00

“Fear is the secret robber that steals away your joy.”

You would have subjected yourself to the dictates of fear at some point in life no doubt and this is nothing but forming a fringe between you and your success. Fear though, is a natural feeling that no individual can be blamed for accepting, your ability to face your fear and overcome it, is an action statement that makes or mars your success. I do not believe that there are certain fears in life that are beyond being overcome, not even the fear of death, for not until death strikes should any being stop striving.

Take for example; a situation where a person is diagnosed of a chronic or life-threatening ailment; often for the fear of dying or becoming seriously ill, a lot of people lose hope of recovery even before their symptoms become physically visible, thereby giving way for a complete breakdown of their entire system. I have seen people who on the other side, have come out triumphantly, living up to the challenges of such situations, with determination and more than not, succeeded with life. There is no doubt that a change of attitude towards those things we see as difficult or challenging is the key for bringing down our fears.

Reasons why people restrain fear:

Not to be rejected- For the fear of being rejected, ridiculed or your ideas being cast off, a lot of people have failed to take steps that will lead to empowering them and taking control of their lives. When you fear that you will be rejected and thereby decide not to explore your potentials, you are in essence rejecting yourself.

To avoid temporary discomfort-When you retreat from the challenges you fear, you will never achieve those goals and aspirations you aim for due to your inability to fully develop your skills and talent and this would only give you the relief from the discomforts you will initially go through, having stepped forward for the big challenge. Essentially, tackling fear is about taking bold steps and believing you are stronger than your fears to the point of overcoming whatever the fear is. However, it is good to note that it is not an easy task. It is one that has to do with you stepping out of your comfort zone and be slightly discomforted. For example, having to learn new skills, change career, meet new prospects or taking up any new challenges, could stretch you out of your usual bounds, but not willing to take action is allowing fear to rob you of your creativity, power and ability.

Not to be labelled a failure- It is natural that the initial stage of any procedure gets unsteady, and we all know that it takes time to develop one’s skill or talent at doing anything. The most important thing is the willingness to it squarely. Sometimes, when you want to impress the world around you, you will end up losing focus because your aims will be submerged. You should follow your dreams push through fear and build your confidence. Fortunately too, when you develop yourself in a particular area, you will be marvelled at how you will discover more of your potentials in other areas.

When you do not confront the fears that stand in opposition to your goals, you will only Sabotage your success, destroy your confidence, diminish your self esteem and sink yourself in the strength of your inadequacies. For queries and comments on the articles on this page, please email writingcrafts350@gmail.com