CRANKed

New Plan for Stimulus Bill

2009-01-28T23:52:00.004-05:00

Now that the House has passed the crappy tax cut hobbled stimulus bill with no GOP votes, the Senate should pass a different version of the bill replacing the tax cuts with money for mass transit and direct aid to the states. Ideally the direct aid to the states money should be spent on funding higher education. The House can then approve the now improved stimulus bill. Doing this will let the GOP that their little tax cut blackmail game is up.

Paranoia

2009-01-18T14:36:00.004-05:00

Choice. Choice. Freedom of Choice. Choice?

Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness Doctrine. Fairness.

BOOO!

Another Bush Failure

2009-01-18T02:15:00.002-05:00

Despite the Bush farewell tour's attempts to frame the past eight years as one success after another, reality proves otherwise. The latest bit of reality intruding is new is North Korea's claim that it has weaponized plutonium.

Senior North Korean officials say the communist regime has "weaponized" its stockpile of plutonium

Now, the claim is a bit sketchy and may be part of a North Korean ploy to obtain more fuel and food aid, but still it doesn't bode well for George W. Bush's claims of having increased U.S. security or improved global security.

Republican claims of being good for the economy and national security now lie in ruins. Eight years of Republican rule has left the U.S. in bad shape. Unfortunately, we'll be living with Republican appointees for a long time and Republicans in Congress still seem able to blackmail us into dubious policy choices, especially tax cuts.

Yep, Tax Cuts Work

2009-01-09T14:34:00.003-05:00

While the GOP engages in yet another (apparently already successful) tax cut blackmail of legislation, let's remind ourselves what nearly eight years of massive tax cuts have gotten us.

The Labor Department reports

in December [. . .] employers shed another 524,000 jobs, the unemployment rate leapt half a percentage point to 7.2 percent

And it gets worse. Those job losses in October and November of 2008 were even worse than originally thought.

The Labor Department also revised its employment reports from October and November, noting that job losses in those months were worse than first reported. Employers rid themselves of 423,000 jobs in October, not the originally reported 320,000, and 584,000 positions in November, not the 533,000 first reported by the BLS.

And it gets even worse than that.

While the steep jump in unemployment and mounting job losses grabbed the headlines, there was even more troubling news buried deeper down in the report. The BLS said that the average hourly workweek for production and nonsupervisory jobs had shrunk 0.2 percent to 33.3 hours. That marks the lowest that this number has registered since the government started compiling these statistics in 1964.

As the Democratic Congress bends over backwards to satisfy Republican demands for tax cuts let's remind ourselves of how stunningly unsuccessful Republican trumpeted tax cuts have been over the past eight years. Sure people made a lot of money, but nearly all of the money that wasn't hidden away in Swiss or Cayman Island bank accounts or stuffed under some mattress is gone. Oh, and over a million jobs disappeared in two month's time, just for good measure. Somehow, despite the tax cuts to corporations and the super rich, the factories, the call centers, the paper work centers, etc. keep disappearing or being sent off-shore.

Instead of using ineffective tax cuts as stimulus, let's invest in education, let's forgive the billions of dollars in student loans, let's build mass transit, let's restore the safety nets that a generation of "supply side" insanity has shredded, and let's invest in providing health care for every single person in this country, and let's invest in other programs that actually improve not only our individual lives, but our collective lives as well.

We can't afford tax cuts. We can't afford to not invest in our country, our states, our cities, our counties, and our townships. Taxes are the way to pay for that investment. The private sector has shown itself (yet again) incapable of providing any kind of sustainable investment in the public good.

And for those who say the government should not be involved in the kinds of investments, well, remember "We the People of the United States, in Order to [. . .] promote the general Welfare [. . .] do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." Yep, that's a whole lot of "collectivism." Yep, one of the reasons We the People established the current form of government was to promote the general welfare. Taxes spent on education, health care, on infrastructure like mass transit, etc. are one way to promote the general welfare. Tax cuts merely promote narrow individual welfare.

Shoes Are Dangerous

2008-12-15T13:34:00.002-05:00

More proof that shoes are dangerous and should be banned from all public places.

As Bush finished remarks that hailed the security progress that led to a U.S.-Iraq agreement that sets a three-year timetable for an American withdrawal, an Iraqi television journalist leapt from his seat, pulled off his shoes and threw them at the president. Striking someone with a shoe is a grave insult in Islam.

"This is a goodbye kiss, you dog," the journalist, Muntathar al Zaidi, 29, shouted.

Bush ducked the first shoe. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki, standing to Bush's left, tried to swat down the second.

Bush, apparently just as ignorant of Iraqi culture today as he was five years ago, dismissed the incident as "no big thing, sort of a fraternity joke."

Bush went on to say "we used to do that kind of stuff all the time at Yale. Heck, I bet that fellow just had a few too many beers. Did you see how fast I ducked though? You gotta get up pretty early to beat the Georgie. All that cocaine I did hasn't affected my reflexes. And hey did you see how al Maliki swatted at that shoe. I taught him that move last time we played some football at Camp David. Oh and hey, the Cowboys won on Sunday night too!"

Oh that Bush Economy

2008-11-14T00:32:00.003-05:00

Today George Bush was in New York talking up the economy and boasting how effective his give away to Wall Street has been. He also said a bunch of bullshit about how it wasn't the lack of regulation, etc. that caused the meltdown and our spiral into depression,

the greater threat to economic prosperity is not too little government involvement in the market, but too much.

And then boy genius tried to say that the Europeans are suffering the same meltdown as we are despite their excessive regulation. Of course, being the complete idiot he is, Bush failed to note that many of those same European banks, governments, etc. had invested heavily in the U.S. mortgage market and CDS market.

What's that dear reader, you doubt we're spiraling into depression? Today, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports,

A $1.6 billion project to build a new international terminal at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport could be suspended within the next few months because the airport has been unable to sell $600 million in municipal bonds, the head of the airport said Thursday. [. . .] He said the airport’s debt rating is solid, at “A+”, which is considered investment grade.

Oh, about 300 good-paying construction jobs are at risk. Yep, the credit markets are working just fine and the banks are using all of that tax money George Bush gave them to extend loans and otherwise extend capital. When the busiest airport (that means lots of revenue) can't sell it's bonds, we're in a depression.

Still doubting that George Bush and the Republican Party has driven the US into depression through misrule? New York state is facing

budget deficits of $1.5 billion this year and $12.5 billion next year.

Yep, that's a budget deficit of $12.5 billion. And George Bush goes blithely on doing nothing. Oh wait, he's done something, he's given billions to Wall Street bankers and is probably dreaming of tax cuts for the super rich.

Apparently George Bush doesn't think giving billions to bankers and giving tax cuts to the wealthy isn't a form of government intervention. Unfortunately, there are still enough delusional Republicans in Congress to force their delusions on the rest of us.

Bush and Obama Tour the White House

2008-11-10T15:50:00.004-05:00

Bush and Obama meet at the White House today. Bush is unlikely to be too excited to be showing Obama around. According to an unnamed White House source Bush is dealing with the disappointment pretty well,

“He has a way of coming to grips with things and moving on.”

Yeah, like a bottle of Jack, an eight ball of coke, and couple of hookers. Aides say Mrs. Bush plans to visit with her daughters.

Once Bush recovers from his week long bender aides say he'll spend a week or so clearing brush at his play Ranch outside of Wacko, TX and then focus on his plans for his play Presidential Library. Aides say the library may be relocated to an undisclosed location, though they can't be certain since Dick Cheney hasn't let them see any of the files on the library.

Barack and Howard

2008-10-30T14:54:00.003-04:00

Well, with less than a week to go before that great accountability moment otherwise know as the election, it appears Howard Dean and Barack Obama have done it. What's it, you ask? And how did they do it?

It is forcing the Republicans to reveal their true selves. To force Republicans to say all the crazy, racist, sexists, xenophobic, and otherwise bigoted and prejudiced things that they say in private or say to themselves late a night. Just as Bill Clinton's run in 1992 forced the Republicans to reveal themselves in all their ugliness at the 1992 Republican National Convention, so did Dean and Obama's strategies force Republicans in 2008 to reveal their true selves. Together Dean and Obama gave truth to the lie of "compassionate conservativism."

Howard Dean's 50-State Strategy started the ball rolling. Dean's strategy of building grassroots organizations in every state, of raising money, and funding candidates in every state was key to what looks like a win for Barack Obama. The first sign that Dean's strategy was working was George Allen's Macca moment. Allen was so pressured by Webb and by the the Dean strategy that Allen felt compelled to pander to the racist base of the Republican Party.

In the past two months we've seen an increasingly desperate and shrill John McCain and Republican Party resort to racist, sexist, xenophobic, and bigoted attacks in a futile attempt to turn back Obama. Obama pushed McCain and his Republican Party not merely by raising a lot of money, but by using that money to open field offices all across the country, especially in places the Republican Party thought was safe. Moreover, Obama spent money in safe areas--those areas he or other Democrats were sure to win--in order to shore up his base and to build morale. By forcing the Republicans to play defense, Obama and Dean forced the Republicans to go to the mattresses, to resort to desperate measures, and to return to their old race-baiting, xenophobic, and hateful rhetoric. It's who and what the modern Republican Party really is and like in 1992, American voters are rejecting the hate, the prejudice, the racism, and the whole lot of it.

Five Minute Hate Republican Style

2008-10-12T16:42:00.002-04:00

Are these the "occasional nuts" attending McCain/Palin events? It seems the large bulk of the attendees are spewing hate.

The people McCain attracts to his rallies are scary. I can only imagine the emails, direct mail, and phone calls they receive from McCain and Republican connected groups planting such hateful ideas in voters' minds.

I will at least give McCain credit for keeping this kind of hate under cover until after the Republican Convention. As it is now, the mainstream media can "ignore" these "occasional nuts" when they're on a sidewalk in Ohio, Iowa, etc. but couldn't ignore it if the same "occasional nuts" were chanting their hate at the convention.

It's clear McCain and Republicans have no interest in bringing this country together. Their mission is to poison the well, to sow division, and be disruptive for the next eight years.

Oh that Bush Economy

2008-10-10T00:32:00.002-04:00

Tell me again about how Republicans are good for the economy. Tell me again how massive tax cuts for the richest of the rich leads to economic growth. Tell me again how having a "CEO" president would be good for the economy.

Over the last seven sessions, the Dow has lost 2,271 points, or 20.1%. Since hitting an all-time high of 14,164.53 one year ago today, the Dow has lost 39.4%.

Yep, a 20% lost in a week of trading. As of the close of trading on October 9, 2009 the DJIA stood at 8,579.19. If things keep going the way they've been, we just might see a 50% drop in the DJIA in little more than a year. Yep, those massive tax cuts to the richest of rich sure are working.

I sure am glad we didn't privatize Social Security like George Bush and the other idiots in the Republican Party wanted us to a few years back.

Oh, and remember the budget surplus we had at the end of eight years with a Democratic President? Remember that? Remember how Bush and Cheney talked up a recession in order to push through massive tax cuts? Well, Bush and Cheney sure got their recession. And despite the Republicans' ability to blackmail tax cuts out of Nancy Pelosi, tax cuts ain't the answer. If tax cuts worked, we wouldn't have a huge budget deficit and a stock market shedding almost 40% of its value in a year.

Two Minute Hate

2008-10-08T18:30:00.003-04:00

All week the McCain and Palin campaign have been turning up the hate machine. According to Dana Milbank the hate isn't just directed at Obama, but all all liberals--reporters, intellectuals, and anyone who dares to disagree with McCain, Palin, and Bush (unless of course it's McCain and Palin doing the disagreeing). Instead of debating or discussing the issues, Palin and McCain have taken to demonizing Obama and anyone who supports his candidacy.

In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen. The little sandy-haired woman had turned bright pink, and her mouth was opening and shutting like that of a landed fish. Even O'Brien's heavy face was flushed. He was sitting very straight in his chair, his powerful chest swelling and quivering as though he were standing up to the assault of a wave. The dark-haired girl behind Winston had begun crying out ‘Swine! Swine! Swine!’ and suddenly she picked up a heavy Newspeak dictionary and flung it at the screen. It struck Goldstein's nose and bounced off; the voice continued inexorably. In a lucid moment Winston found that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the rung of his chair. The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp. [. . .].
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Oh, wait, sorry that's an excerpt from Orwell's 1984 not news report from a Palin campaign stop. Sorry about that.

Government in Hiding

2008-09-30T11:09:00.002-04:00

Apparently the House of Representatives and perhaps other parts of the federal government have gone into hiding. This morning I tried writing my elected House of Representatives member and received the following

Messaging Service Unavailable

The House of Representatives is currently experiencing an extraordinarily high amount of email traffic. The Write Your Representative function is therefore intermittantly available. While we realize communicating to your Members of Congress is critical, we suggest attempting to do so at a later time, when demand is not so high. System engineers are working to resolve this issue and we appreciate your patience.

What? Did we forgot to pay the bill? Did China cut us off? Or maybe someone decided that they couldn't care less what the citizens of this country think? I wonder if the lobbyists and the likes of Rush Limbaugh are having troubling contacting the members of the House of Representatives?

McCain Scuttles Bailout Plan

2008-09-25T23:46:00.002-04:00

According to McClatchy and just about everyone else, John McCain and his merry band of Retuhgicans scuttled the $700 billion Wall Street giveaway or economic recovery plan or whatever the hell it is.

Republicans, in contrast, said there reservations on the bailout plan were principled.

Republicans have principles? Really.

Yet More Bush Failure

2008-09-24T22:43:00.003-04:00

Don't look now, but while the American economy is cratering under eight years of Republican misrule, one of Bush's "signature" foreign policy achievements is falling by the wayside. Today

North Korea told the IAEA that the U.N. agency's inspectors "will have no further access to the reprocessing plant"

that the North Koreans used to process spent nuclear fuel into plutonium, which is the stuff the North Koreans used and can use to make nuclear weapons.

Oh and the same McClatchy story notes that

Russia this week pulled out of a six-nation meeting scheduled for Thursday to discuss further sanctions against Iran, freezing for the time being a 3 1/2-year old diplomatic campaign to persuade Tehran to abandon uranium enrichment.

Yep. George Bush is doing a bang up job keeping us safe. But, don't worry, I heard there are some good college football games on TV this weekend and that NASCAR thing is starting to look interesting. Oh, and don't forget to go out and shop this weekend, the country needs you to do your duty. And make sure you drive a bunch too since your state probably needs the gas tax money. Don't worry, put it all on the credit card and then ask George Bush to bail you out the next time he invites you down to his ranch to clear some brush. Or maybe you can ask Uncle Dick for the cash the next time you two go quail hunting.

Ownership Society?

2008-09-16T19:41:00.002-04:00

With tomorrow's news today, the NYT is reporting that the Fed (that's you and me) is loaning AIG $85 billion and acquiring an 80% share of the insurance giant. I wonder if this is what Bush and the Republicans meant when they said they wanted to create an "ownership society?"

On a related note, if I switch my insurance over to AIG, do I get an owner's discount?

Yep, the Surge is Working

2007-12-01T15:28:00.000-05:00

All those American lives and limbs seem to be paying dividends. Iraq is on it's way to peace and democracy. Oh, wait....

Sunni lawmakers walked out of Iraq's parliament Saturday, protesting what they called the house arrest of a prominent Sunni politician.

Well, maybe with the New Year just around the corner we'll see some political progress to justify the lives and limbs sacrificed. Of course, we still have to wait for Halliburton to pour the concrete for the recently relocated goal posts.

The Right to Question

2007-02-26T14:35:00.000-05:00

Glen Greenwald has some thoughts for Joe Lieberman and the other snake oil hucksters who claim to know something about anything.

Everywhere Joe Lieberman goes, he should be asked by journalists why anyone should listen to anything he says, or believe anything he says, in light of his history of deceitful statements and tragically wrong assertions, beginning with his 2005 Op-Ed which today he completely repudiates while pretending he never said any of it.

These are people who are completely bereft of judgment and integrity, and their behavior has wreaked incalculable and arguably unprecedented damage on our country. Holding them accountable, and recognizing them for what they are, is critical not only for cleansing our deeply poisoned political system, but also for averting identical, or worse, tragedies in the very near future.

It's not only Lieberman who should be asked why should we trust you. We should ask George Bush, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, and the entire Republican leadership the same question. Every press conference. Every off the record briefing, every exclusive interview should start with the question, "why should I listen to anything you say about anything, or believe anything you say, in light of your history of deceit, wrong assertions, and outright lies?" Oh, and "you've been wrong about so much, why should I believe you are right about this?" The press conference, off the record briefing, exclusive sit down interview, or whatever should not go onto other questions until the above have been answered. If Bush and his gang are unwilling to submit to such questions, then the press briefing, the off the record briefing, the exclusive sit down interview should stop or journalists should refuse to participate. I want George Bush and his gang to stand up before the world, without notes, without teleprompters and take questions from real people. Not people who have been vetted. Not people who feel like their jobs depend on their ability to access to movers and shakers, but real people who deserve an answer to why should we believe anything you say? You're not children. You don't get a free pass to lie because you didn't know any better. Transparency, it's the bedrock of freedom and democracy. If Congress, if people, can't voice their opinions and ask the difficult questions of our elected leaders, then we have neither freedom nor democracy.

Oh, and Joe, if things are improving in Iraq, why has FOX News issued its reporters gas masks? But, of course, before you answer, please explain why I should listen to anything you have to say based on your past history of lying and being wrong.

Fear, Inc. Or, When Cartoons Attack Boston

2007-01-31T22:23:00.000-05:00

After the cartoon induced hysteria in Boston on January 31, 2007, I think a reading of Franklin D. Roosevelt's 1933 Inaugural Address is in order.

This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and of vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory.

We, unfortunately have George W. Bush as President.

The Bush Coup

2007-01-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

It must now be apparent to even the most blind among us that George Bush is the biggest threat to the U.S. Constitution, American Democracy, and good government in existence today. The NYT reports,

President Bush has signed a directive that gives the White House much greater control over the rules and policy statements that the government develops to protect public health, safety, the environment, civil rights and privacy.

In an executive order published last week in the Federal Register, Mr. Bush said that each agency must have a regulatory policy office run by a political appointee, to supervise the development of rules and documents providing guidance to regulated industries. The White House will thus have a gatekeeper in each agency to analyze the costs and the benefits of new rules and to make sure the agencies carry out the president’s priorities.

This strengthens the hand of the White House in shaping rules that have, in the past, often been generated by civil servants and scientific experts.

Bush and his gang are longer even concerned with the facade of good government. Every decision will now be openly political. Thus the lack of an updated NIE prior to rolling out the "surge" plan for Iraq. Political ideology will be the litmus against which all decisions will be tested. Strangely enough this comes from a President who claims he doesn't govern by polls. With political operatives in charge any residual lip service to transparency is now gone.

The debacles of Iraq and Katrina, created or exacerbated by unqualified political appointees will become a regular feature of American life. While most sane and rational observers understood that the lessons of Katrina (and school is still very much in session) is that qualified civil servants and professionals are desperately needed in government and that decisions affecting the health and safety of Americans should be non-political, the Bush regime in its hubris has decided to increase the role of political appointees in the day to day running of the government. I suspect that many of the whiz kids sent to Iraq in 2003 will now be in charge of vetting new regulations to ensure the regulations pass ideological muster (or benefit whichever corporation or group of corporations ponies up the biggest bribe).

In the order Bush has banished the use of words like "‘shall,’ ‘must,’ ‘required’ or ‘requirement.’” The thought police are now only an Executive Order away. Ideology now reigns supreme. I, for one, now wonder if Bush will respect the 2008 elections or will he issue an Executive Order nullifying them? Where does George Bush's lust for power end? Or rather, where does the lust for power of Dick Cheney and the rest of the former Nixon staffers end?

Republican Values and Rudy Giuliani

2007-01-27T13:32:00.000-05:00

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani spoke in New Hampshire and

told state GOP leaders that to take back the state, they must embrace Republican principles and not apologize for them.

Since ol' Rudy is or was for gun control, opposed the Republican position on banning gay marriage, is pro-choice, and opposes or opposed the ban on so called "partial birth abortions," it's not altogether clear that Giuliani understands what Republican principles are. In fact, on December 2, 1999 Rudy told CNN

“I’m pro-choice. I’m pro-gay rights,” Giuliani said. He was then asked whether he supports a ban on what critics call partial-birth abortions. “No, I have not supported that, and I don’t see my position on that changing."

So when Rudy Giuliani talks about embracing Republican principles, I'm at a bit of loss. What does ol' Rudy think Republican principles are? Maybe he means greed, corruption, race baiting, scapegoat politics, hypocrisy, and abuse of power?

The Battle for Baghdad, Iraqis No Shows, Redux

2007-01-25T15:52:00.000-05:00

From the NYT lede on the new American offensive to re-take Baghdad comes this gem of just how ill-thought President Bush's "new" policy is,

Many of the Iraqi Army units who were supposed to help secure Haifa Street in Baghdad on Wednesday did not arrive on time, forcing the Americans to start the job on their own.

The article makes clear that despite all the propaganda the Bush regime and its lackeys push, it is American troops bearing the brunt of re-taking Baghdad.

Many of the Iraqi units that showed up late never seemed to take the task seriously, searching haphazardly, breaking dishes and rifling through personal CD collections in the apartments. Eventually the Americans realized that the Iraqis were searching no more than half of the apartments; at one point the Iraqis completely disappeared, leaving the American unit working with them flabbergasted.

If this represents the best George Bush, Dick Cheney, and the rest of the Republican lackeys can coax out of the Iraqis, then it's going to be a long winter and even longer spring and then the summer with its searing temperatures and then...?

Impeach George Bush Now! Impeach Dick Cheney Now!

Bush Apporval Rating at 28%

2007-01-23T02:51:00.000-05:00

Bushy is doing a heck of a job according to CBS.

On a more serious note, it's a bit disturbing that only 7% of the folks polled thought health care was the country's number one problem and only 8% thought the economy was the country's biggest issue. It appears Uncle Rove's shell game of bloody carnage in Iraq is distracting Americans from the very serious problems the Republicans have ignored (I'm being generous here as the policies enacted by the Republicans have made those problems worse in many cases) over the past six years, namely access to health care and economic growth that is shared by all Americans, just not the corporate fat cats and trust fund babies that are George Bush's base.

Kurds Prepare for Baghdad Deployment

2007-01-13T22:19:00.000-05:00

Hey George, you got anymore gasoline we can throw on this thing?

A Kurdish army brigade in northern Iraq is undergoing intensive urban combat training as it readies for deployment in the latest Baghdad security operation and is expected to take on the capital's Mehdi Army Shiite militia, its commander said Saturday.

NO, no, put away that lighter fluid and get me the GASOLINE! Condi said we need to slash and burn in order for the flower of freedom and democracy to bloom in Iraq.

Bush Turd, Er...I Mean Surge

2007-01-10T23:05:00.000-05:00

The Plan! The Plan!

'Commander in Chief' Needs a Note from Saudi Arabia

2006-12-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

According to numerous news outlets including CNN, the U.S. now needs a note from Saudi Arabia before making any foreign policy decisions. So I'm wondering what George Bush means when he says he's the "decider" and the "commander in chief"? I mean does he have a table in the basement with all kinds of little army men that he's "commander in chief" of or something? As for being the "decider," maybe he means he gets to decide what color socks he's gonna wear?