Delicious Ambiguity

Raaaawr

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 11:27:00 +0000

THIS. Totally adorbzz. I miss this. Waaant.

The Constant Struggle with the Other Woman

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 05:28:00 +0000

Maybe it has always been ingrained in me as a member of the female species or maybe it got triggered somewhere along my first encounter with the green eyed monster, nevertheless i've come to have this deep curiosity on how women relate with each other. It's very interesting how we hold each other close because of a shared struggle for equality and recognition in a man-driven world, and yet at the same time also struggle against each other, almost like a competition to become the alpha-female in our version of the she-pack but in a completely subdued and twisted way than how males compete against each other.

Whereas males typically measure power, achievement, and wealth, based on the number and quality of their conquests (whether at work or in relationships) what our struggle with what I would call the "other woman" has taken the form of body size, color, achievements relative to a man's, brand names, and boy toys. These too have undertones of power, wealth, and achievement, but the specificity with which we can name them speaks of a uniquely female appetite. And on this subject I found Caroline Knapp's book, "Appetites : Why Women Want", very enlightening.

A book that's mainly on the author's struggle with anorexia, it delves into the abyss of women's appetites - what shapes it, the various forms it takes, and the equally varied ways on how we satisfy or starve it. After all, at the core of our struggle with the "other woman" we find that it is ourselves that we are trying to deal with - our own struggle with identifying our hungers and achieving satiety.

With that i'd like to share two excerpts from the book that are worth pondering over. Both touch slightly on how media shapes and affects our perception of our basest hungers, and how it distracts us from achieving true satiety.

"Constantly slapped, constantly measured against perfection, a woman stops seeing straight; the goddess hammers away at perception. In the course of a week, I might see half a dozen ordinary naked female bodies in the locker room at my gym, usually the same half dozen, and literally hundreds of goddess bodies on TV, billboards, and in ads; over time -weeks turned into months, years, decades-reality starts to erode, the ideal bodies start to look normal, the normal bodies ungainly and aesthetically off, the gap between the beautiful and the ordinary grows wider and more distinct. This is why the simple act of walking past a mirror or catching your reflection in a store window can so easily set off the alarm of comparison and critique: flash, a bulge here; flash, a flaw there; flash, imperfect hair, imperfect skin, imperfect stomach, imperfect legs; flash, not Elle Macpherson. This too is why the goddess has such a simultaneously ego-battering and seductive effect: a mere glance at the cover of Shape, and the phenomenon of self-scrutiny can kick in as reflexively as breathing. Hair: Elle’s is so shiny. Skin: Mine is awful compared to hers. Burn 1,000 extra calories a week: How?"

“The great anxious focus on the minutiae of appetite - on calories and portion size and what’s going into the body versus what’s being expended, on shoes and hair and abs of steel - keeps the larger, more fearsome questions of desire blurred and out of focus. American women spend approximately $1 million every hour on cosmetics. This may or may not say something about female vanity, but it certainly says something about female energy, about where it is and is not focused. Easier to worry about the body than the soul, easier to fit the self into the narrow slots of identity our culture offers to women than to create one from scratch, easier to worship at socially sanctioned altars of desire than to construct your own, one that allows for the expression of all passions, the satisfaction of all appetites. The great preoccupation with things like food and shopping and appearance, in turn, is less of a genuine focus on hunger - indulging it, understanding it, making decisions about it - than it is a monumental distraction from hunger.”

- Appetites : Why Women Want (2003) by Caroline Knapp

Hear, hear.

Jelly

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 05:49:00 +0000

I love how he leaned in to give her a kiss! Sweet! OK, it's more of love and envy. Lucky lucky Anne V. :)

Against the Flow

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 14:13:00 +0000

(Source: Night Owl on Tumblr)

What a fortunate, wonderful person he/she must be, who, upon realizing that he/she is different from everyone else doesn't cower in fear or submit to the pressure to blend in, but rather, celebrates it.

Five Apps that I Overuse

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 03:37:00 +0000

I've had my iPod Touch 4G for about 3 months now and all I can say is that i'm loving every minute of it. One is because of how I can take both my music and podcasts anywhere (there's a lot more to it like the amazing cover art and lyrics display, but heck those are basic stuff), and the other is because of how I can get the iPod functioning more like an iPhone just with the addition of applications! Awesome. Now here are my favorites so far:

1) Evernote (free)

I use this app so much, it's practically an extension of my brain, like an external memory bank if you will. I can save random thoughts, images, audio, articles from the web and more with the littlest effort and with the assurance that I can access it anytime I want using whatever device I have. What makes Evernote such a great tool for taking down notes and what have yous is how you can separate items into notebooks, which basically act as folders so you know where to find stuff after you've gone on a note taking frenzy. Add to that the ease with which you can access your notes later on whether on your desktop pc, on the web, or on your mobile phone, because everything is synchronized seamlessly. Personally, I use it for my little "projects", you know essays i'm in the process of writing and whenever I simply want to research on a certain subject and take down notes. Oh and by the way, this post actually got started on Evernote, there you go.

2) Fruit Ninja (paid, 0.99)

I'm not really into games, save for those that allow me to just zone out and click and swipe without thinking much and that's why Fruit Ninja is perfect for me. I just make a slicing motion on the screen as a variety of fruits pop out on the screen while of course trying to evade bombs the come out every now and then. I even got the paid version just to throw in the fun of competing against my siblings for the top score. My sister and I are still fighting over the ownership of the still unbeaten 447.

3) imo (free)

The iPod Touch may function like the iPhone but it still isn't the iPhone of course because of the glaring absence of the sms and call functions. No worries though because I easily made up for that with the addition of this one stop messaging app called imo. If you have skype, ym, and facebook accounts then you can access all of your messages right here. It doesn't support video though so for that I jump over to the separate app for skype, ym, or facetime, whichever floats your boat. You also need wi-fi to access it so if you really need to talk to someone asap, better use your mobile.

4) Read it Later (free)

This app made it to the list for one reason - I bookmark like crazy. I have a plug-in on my laptop's web browser as well so I can read on whichever device i'm using and get this, even when i'm offline. Homerun.

5) Pulse News (free)

(Source: cnet reviews)

I like keeping abreast on a wide variety of topics and news from all over the world which is not an easy feat because there isn't a single news organization or publication dedicated to the task. That's what makes Pulse News a godsend. I just pick the websites I want to follow and it creates a mosaic out of my choices from where I can view all of the latest articles. No need to weave a dizzying trail of one website after another or spending a good part of the day checking up on them one by one. Now I just open the Pulse News app, scan through the mosaic of the latest news arranged by website name and pick a treat to feed my mind. Love it.

Masters in our own worlds, slaves in someone else's

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 03:59:00 +0000

El Empleo by Santiago Bou Grasso

Don't you sometimes feel this way?

Not About James Soriano

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 16:13:00 +0000

Earlier today, Filipinos of all economic and educational backgrounds went amok on social networking sites over this article by a certain James Soriano. Frankly, I found all the brouhaha and angst (think calls for cyber bullying and other grave threats) directed towards the writer to be excessive and misguided.

I won't go into the details of what he said (you can check the link and do that for yourself) and offer counter-arguments to diminish his reasoning and his person to a pulp -I think he's had enough of that to go by his whole life - but I would like to say this to everyone who gave his two cents on the matter:

Let all hell break loose on the real enemy - the apparent narrow-mindedness pervading different ranks of our society - and let us not waste any effort or venom on this James Soriano who is after all only the drivel from that more staggering foe. To him who is truly learned, neither mockery nor indifference is the response in the face of perceived ignorance, but rather an unrelenting call to cause change, to educate.

With that, let us back off and let the poor guy get a good night's sleep while we set about the more important task of enriching our lives and testing our views (and even methods) so we may be better equipped to rouse others out of their ignorance - the sleeping James Soriano included.

Today's Must Listen

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 11:24:00 +0000

This is just too good not to share. Beautiful, beautiful song performed just the way I want to enjoy my music - uncluttered and laid-back. Enjoy!

Something to think about when someone sets you off

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 11:44:00 +0000

(via jkhgfdcutiuhye)

It definitely changes things, doesn't it?

This is one of the reasons why I read

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 06:21:00 +0000

(via K.Cakes.)

Dear sister, it's your birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:04:00 +0000

This is Madel. She is my sister. She is everyone's favorite in the family. She is the youngest.

Now I don't know if the last two descriptions have anything to do with each other, but what i'm sure of is that Madel gets the bulk of the cuddling and sweetness from this otherwise non touchy feely family. I for one would shamelessly babytalk to her, spoil her, and let her get away with pretty much anything JUST BECAUSE - stuff I wouldn't really do to about a third of the people I know.

She's the family's baby then when she was this cute little thing who just wins everyone with her smile and chinky eyes and even until now when she's finally reached that age when it gets really annoying to still be called a baby. She has just turned 18 and although I know this is inevitable I have to admit it still caught me by surprise when she began this change from being a kid to a young lady who has her own set of beliefs and wants and passions.

The dynamic between us has changed a little - no, more like a lot - and as an older sister who's used to playing silly with her I can't help but feel bad at times when she's no longer as open as she once was about her life or when she no longer wants to be hugged and to be held. But that's just me trying to adjust to this new phase where my sister is coming into her own pretty much like I did and the rest of my sisters did when we were this age.

Sure, the way we approach each other has changed, but it still remains that I love my sister and will probably do just about anything just to make sure that she goes through this stage in her life happy and with a good sense of the person that she's becoming - even if that means pulling back at times and refusing the need to baby her and just allow her to grow.

Right now I am filled with a sense of wonder and gratitude - wonder over how quickly time passes and gratitude because God has blessed our family 18 years ago with such a precious gift.

To my dearest sister, Happy 18th birthday.

And I put it in a song, because I am a coward

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 03:50:00 +0000

Jump into your white mobile and run away
You're always leaving me behind
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

I'm not yours anymore..

The World Needs People Who Have Come Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 06:00:00 +0000

I woke up last Sunday in a panic and in deep disappointment. I overslept and had failed to do something important. There were consequences, and none of them were things to smile about. Sure, I regretted not being able to earn the extra money, but the disappointment goes further than that. I had this task, this responsibility, and all I had to do was to be awake for it - to be alive for the moment.

It made me wonder how many others out there are just like me - caught sleeping while the moment passes them by. And to take it even further, I wonder how much better this world would be if only people did what they were meant to be doing.

So come out of your slumber, for the day is near and there is still much to be done - the world needs people who have come alive.

When God Gives A Quick Yes

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 05:28:00 +0000

Not too long ago, I posted something here about my wish to see Kobe Bryant play live. It was in my bucket list but there was a sense of urgency in that wish because I knew that Kobe's playing days were close to being over and there was no way I could get that amount of money in such a short time and hie off to LA and catch a game.

So yeah, it was just a wish I threw out there because that's what you do when dreaming's all you've got.

But who would've known that in just the span of 2 months the NBA will go into a lockout the likes of which was last seen in the 90's, or that the said lockout will drag on causing some players to look for opportunities to play elsewhere, or that even greater still that three out of my five favorite players in the league will see some hoop action right here in the Philippines?

The thought continues to blow my mind away the same way it did the first time I heard of the news that Kobe, D. Rose, and KD, along with 6 other NBA players will be having an exhibition game against some elite players in the PBA. Three of the best players in the league today, putting up a show in the Araneta Coliseum, in front of the Filipino crowd (which I must say are the best basketball fans in the whole world) , me in the middle of all of it, jumping and shouting and fist pumping at every amazing shot that they made - never in my wildest dreams did I see this day coming.

Which of course when I think of it, is just sad and begs for forgiveness, because I forgot, I have a big God listening to even my heart's tiniest wishes. There I was insignificant in the bigger scheme of things, and yet God chose not only to hear, but to grant my even more insignificant wish.

The game was already days ago but everytime I think about how events played out to make it possible, I am still floored by how awesome it is when things work out according to His plan - and throw at me all of your skepticism, but I believe that even something as trivial as that game was part of His plan to affirm in me that He knows and that He listens. So never shy away from wishing or dreaming just because you think it's impossible, because God is always ready to meet your needs in a way that may not always be as you have planned, but could just be something that's so much better.

Photos from the Smart Ultimate All Star Weekend @ The Big Dome last July 23, 2011

Because When the Song Fits, it Bleeds

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:21:00 +0000

Urbandub | The Fight is Over

Love x 27

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:22:00 +0000

Theirs is a love story I wouldn't wish upon myself.

Because there was more than the usual heartbreak.
Because there were things that shouldn't have happened that did happen.

And yet, in essence, their story makes me believe so much more in love and its beauty.

That it isn't all about the feelings and the motions of being in love.
That it isn't possessing and manipulating.
That it isn't static and limiting.

That it is forgiving once, twice, even a hundredfold if it need be.
That it is growing and learning together.
That it is loving even when you don't feel like loving.

Most importantly, their 27 years together has shown me that love is a decision. One made every single day with both the heart and the mind. Through good and bad, in sickness and in health.

It's been 27 years and here they are still making that often easy, sometimes painfully hard decision to work at it everyday and love. For most of us, that's really all we could hope for.

Happy anniversary mommy and daddy!

Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:45:00 +0000

Breathe in, breathe out.
That has been the only thing keeping me afloat these days.
Breathe in, breathe out.
The power of the now.

Right now
where I am at one moment new, the next old
Right now
where I am of the past, and also of the future

Dynamic.
Right now it seems
I can be anyone
I can be anything.

I am ever changing
that is the gift of right now.
the fear of right now
the power of right now.

Who's Mad at Dirk?

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:15:00 +0000

This fuck yeah face is one for the books! Congratulations Dirk Nowitzki! You beat the defending champs well, and saw the championship through to the end. Well deserved. Dallas Mavericks 2010 -2011 NBA Champs. What an amazing season, this fan girl is happily looking forward to the next

It isn't ugly in my mind after all

noreply@blogger.com (Christine Soliman) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 23:25:00 +0000

(Source: imgfave)

These words have always spoken to me since the first time I read it, and now I post it because i've come to realize that the words are not ugly in my mind after all. But once they escape my lips, they feel rusty and old - even dirty. Perhaps of being hidden too much and of being played over and over again in my mind, but of never really being heard. Rusty and old and dirty - my own words scare me. So let's just say that these are my own words, voiced out by the young protagonist and that you, you are its object and let's leave it at that.

Cleaning up

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 05:19:00 +0000

I will be on an indefinite leave from blogging because I have some major cleaning up to do. My closet is one of them, but God knows there's so much more in my life that needs an overhaul. I couldn't say how long it will take all I know is that I just need to do away with so many things. Things that make me tired, crazy, and write crappy entries. I wish I could let you in on everything that's going on, but it's just so ugly and messy it would be better to spare everyone from the negativity. I'm taking my time with this one and for once give things one big shove instead of just waiting for it to take its natural course. I need this so bad and i'm hoping to come out of it one baggage lighter and with more room for something new.

Ciao.

The Oh! Book Debuts with # 3

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 16:45:00 +0000

I'm beginning a series of posts tonight about things I have on my bucket list. Actually i'm brimming with things I want to post in relation to that, but right now I am stumped as to what I will be naming my bucket list (a bucket list just sounds inappropriately plain for something that I see as a compilation of life's exclamation points). I can't for the life of me figure out how Adam got to his task of naming things in The Garden nor do I have any ability to create amusing and witty titles for my blog posts and... but wait.. oh, OH!

I'm naming it The Oh! Book. Now that's something appropriately playful and dirty for all the equally playful and dirty (eh?) stuff I want to strike off the list before I die.

To mix things up a little and to stay true to The Oh! Book's name , i'll post stuff randomly starting with The Oh! Book's # 3 - watch a Lakers' game live.

(Source: Lakers OCRegister)

Ever since I got to watch a live PBA game between two of the most storied franchises in that league (San Miguel Beermen and Ginebra Gin Kings), I just knew that I was missing so much of the thrill of watching basketball by witnessing it only from the silent confines of our living room with my apathetic siblings impatiently waiting for the game to finish while I go mad fist pumping and shouting to an unsympathetic crowd.

Being in the same arena along with hundreds of fans going bananas with you after every basket and fantastic play just adds a whole new layer to watching the game. I want to experience that. I want to be where the action is.

Of course it's a no-brainer that I want it to be a Lakers game with Kobe hopefully still playing in it against maybe the Heat, Thunder, or the Bulls. Heck i'd gladly take a game against the Cavs just as long as I can watch it live.

And since i'm practically dreaming right now, let me go on a stretch here and hope that I get to watch it with DC, not only because I can talk basketball with him for hours or that I know DC also wants this, but because once the Kiss Cam starts rolling and luckily lands on me (oh let it be me!), I want to be smooching him for everyone to see.

That'll definitely be one for the Oh! Book.

Reality check:
The Lakers' regular season tickets go from $50 to $250, with courtside seats already having regular occupants ( Hollywood, baby) and with roundtrip plane tickets beginning at around $2000. Add it up and that's around a hundred thousand pesos that I do not have... yet.

Into the Night, a Whisper

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Tue, 31 May 2011 18:58:00 +0000

I do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
to live up to mine.

You are you and I am I.
And if by chance
we find each other,

It's beautiful.

The Gestalt Prayer by Fritz Perls

Ladies and Gents of My Dear Lakerland, Your New Coach

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Thu, 26 May 2011 04:46:00 +0000

(Source: Lakers Blog)

After their sorry exit in the playoffs and after Phil Jackson's retirement, the Lakers wasted no time in filling in the vacant coaching position with former Cavaliers head coach, Mike Brown. Yes, he who handled/mishandled Lebron James for 5 seasons in Cleveland before that all too famous meltdown during the the second round of the 2010 Playoffs against the Boston Celtics and the subsequent firing of Brown from the post and the "the Decision" by James to take his talents to South Beach.

Let me go straight to what i'm feeling. I'm confused and worried. Sure the Lakers need an overhaul after the way they were swept by the Mavericks, but this doesn't seem to be the direction they should be taking. I understand the focus on establishing a solid defensive system, but what about the offense? Brown isn't really known to have any real offensive structure given that he mostly depended on James to do his thing on the court, but he can't do that with a team like the Lakers and with a pool of talent that can get pretty unfocused and erratic at times. Given that the Lakers are now moving away from the triangle, does Brown have something more effective in mind to replace that? Given that he has, then it's still worrisome because it usually takes a period of adjustment before players get into the system, which brings me to my second biggest concern about this hire - chemistry.

The simple fact that Bryant was reportedly surprised that the Lakers were considering to hire Brown and that he was confused by the eventual hiring of the coach, all the while refusing to comment on the decision, somehow hints at possible issues that may arise during the season. I'm particularly concerned about how he is going to handle Kobe and make him work with his system. Even with Jackson, Bryant was known to veer off the triangle most of the time and thrive on his isolation plays, but we all know that as Kobe enters his 15th season in the league you can't really hoist the bulk of your offensive load on that, like he used to with a much younger James. Furthermore, Bryant along with Fisher and Walton were known to be endorsing Brian Shaw for the job, because of his familiarity with the system and the players. This could only mean one thing for Brown - that he has to somehow prove himself to these players in order to get them to follow the system, and that isn't a very good place for a coach to begin with. But this also means something to the players because moving away from the triangle means that players such as Fisher and Walton may have to be replaced in order to accommodate players that will fit the new system better. I'm all for that, but all in all these are just too many changes in one off-season to handle even for a mature team such as the Lakers.

I guess we all just have to wait and see.

Here's to you Coach Brown, I hope it all works well.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Leaving

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Wed, 25 May 2011 11:19:00 +0000

(Source : weheartit)

When I say I miss LB and especially when I say I want to leave home and live by myself, I am not necessarily saying that I miss LB and that I do not want to live at home.

It's me saying that i'm not sure if this is where I want to be right now. It's me saying that my heart is aching for what it is sure is out there for me.

I'm saying that i'm already 24 and the last thing I need is to be safe and happy right in the comforts of my home. I'm saying that I need to be out there grinding and toughing it out like people with big dreams do.

I am saying that I want to make decisions for myself without having to be bound by the guilt of having parents and family being responsible for my mistakes and being hurt because they are thinking about what's best for me. I am saying that I want to have the freedom to do things at my own time and my own way without having to tiptoe around other people's feelings and without having to let them do the same.

I'm saying that I want to give myself the chance to work hard for something, to sweat it out, to fuck up if that's the only way to grow and learn. I'm saying that I want to see how far I can stretch myself without having to worry or freak out the people who care for me.

I'm saying that I want to live out my own beliefs without having to make others feel that I am disregarding theirs. I am saying that I want to spend a big chunk of myself and my time on things that I love and that matter to me - things and people other than my family or friends - without making them feel neglected.

I'm saying that I want to run away from everything that I am right now, from everything that I know because I am hoping that somewhere along the way I will find that this girl who's so bent on running away has now found all of the reasons to stay.

Things to do

noreply@blogger.com (Tin) — Wed, 25 May 2011 10:20:00 +0000

I'm a bit busy these days, but not really that productive which is partly to be blamed on the tabs I open (Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger) once I get on my browser . So yeah i'm leaving reminders here and there just to get me off the shiny glittery things and keep my mind focused on the not so shiny and glittery but nonetheless more important things that I have to do.. uhmm right about now?

to-do list ( in no particular order of importance)

read up on the RH Bill
finish blog post about stand on the RH Bill
close that facebook tab
blog about thoughts on leaving home / living alone
stop looking at that facebook profile
blog about my quarter life crisis
make a dent on my reading list
find places to visit and best places to eat in in Baguio
cancel English classes on Sunday
re-think the Business English Tutorial offer
re-read Appetites and keep a dictionary, notebook, and pen close by
prepare new articles for discussion with students
keep my mind off my blogger stats especially that constant visitor from Far away
keep my mind off of finally purchasing my new baby ( 2 more weeks yay!)
stop lurking on social networking sites past midnight and instead get lots of sleep
Study pronouns and verbs for Saturday's entrance exam review session
Make slides and exercises for said review session
Look for a good place to eat somewhere in SM North or Trinoma
Sunday lunch and movie with college lunchmates
sign up for a VCF small group
Think about volunteering for the kid's ministry
plan meet ups w/ other sets of friends
overhaul my tumblr and blogspot blogs
try this meditation thing and see if it helps keep me sane

There, see you guys in a bit :)