DesignHER Momma

But Today, it's All About You.

2009-11-10T08:24:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, it was my birthday. I turned 31 years old.

Yesterday, my grandma, your great-grandma whom I loved very much went to Heaven.

Yesterday, I cried, and layed around. We ate leftovers and skipped the birthday cake.

But today, it's all about you my sweet girl.

Today you turn 5 years old.

Today we've already made pancakes that look like Micky Mouse for breakfast.

I know that you wanted a big party. A party with birthday hats, themed napkins and lots of friends over.

But instead, you'll have only one of your best friends over to play. Today I'll try to make it special by having you're dad surprise you with Mc Donalds happy meals for lunch.

Tonight we'll make your favorite food for dinner and eat a $6 birthday cake from the grocery store bakery. I apologize that Mom didn't make you a cake from scratch, I want you to know that I really wanted to.

Tonight we will open a few presents and finally get around to carving those Halloween pumpkins that are still sitting on that back deck.

PK, I apologize that I haven't been the Mom you deserve lately. You deserve so much more that I've been able to give.

I love you with all my heart. Today is your 5th birthday and I'm going to do the best I can to make it special.

Waiting is the Hardest Part

2009-11-06T13:46:00.004-05:00

I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. You would think this post is all about how I just can't wait one single more second to meet my newest little child. Yes, it's so true, we patiently wait for birth to arrive. We anticipate it with so much love and joy. Time cannot pass quick enough.

Sadly, this post is not about birth - it's about the excruciating pain of waiting for death to arrive. Just as we wait for loved ones to come into the world, we sometimes find ourselves waiting for just the opposite.

Today, as I go about my trivial day-to-day business; I can't help but realize that in the back of my mind, I'm waiting for the news that Grandma B (my grandma) has passed. With every ring of the phone, I instantly wonder if this is the call.

I sit here typing this both filled with Joy and Sorrow. Sorrow for the loss of life and void she will leave my family - her presence was immense. Sorrow because at 38 weeks along, I won't be able to travel to say goodbye to her one last time. Joy for the life, example and legacy she has left us with. Joy because I know that when grandma leaves this Earth, she will be free of pain and suffering. Her body will never fail her again, it will be restored and new.

At 89 years old, she has lived a life well lived. Not because of fame or fortune; but because she lead the life God has called us to lead. A Godly woman, wife, mother, grandmother and friend.

Everything I can ever try to strive to be.

She has done it. Achieved it. Lived it.

I could blog...

2009-11-04T10:06:00.003-05:00

There are so many things swimming around in my head that I could write about. Lately, I feel like every time I think about blogging, it's just too much work. To get my thoughts out of my head, off the keyboard and onto the screen is just way more effort than I'm willing to give.

Here are a few things I could blog about; and for today - have chosen not to. Some are significant, some are so stupid they shouldn't even be considered writing material:

Today my grandma is moving into the same Hospice house where I last saw my father-in-law alive. If she was to pass, due to distance, I probably would not be able to attend the funeral. {significant}

Halloween was awesome. The girls were cute. I could start a whole new blog on what it's like to hand out candy to 150 inner city people. (I would like to say they were all kids, but I probably handed out candy to an equal amount of adults as well).

I'm almost 38 weeks and nesting has not kicked in at all. I would rather make a nest on the couch with my pillows and blankets and stay there all day than polish silver or dust under my appliances.

I know exactly how I'm going to go into labor. Stomping up the stairs to scold Birdie. She's developed a very strong will and attitude that I'm not a fan of. Seriously, some of my strongest contractions are when I'm dealing with her. My Mother-in-law gave me a self-helpish book to read that's suppose to change my kid in 5 days. I could read that I guess....

We (Michael and I) attended a natural labor class last night. I could say lots about this, but won't. Although when the nurse was talking about ways to "naturally start labor", a same sex couple snickered when the word "penis" and "semen" were used. So did I.

I have resorted to wearing my husbands shirts in public. Oh, and I think I non-officially outweigh him.

Speaking of husbands clothes, I got a new iron. I've been asked to review and blog about it, but made my mother-in-law iron all his clothes with it this past weekend. For what it's worth, she said she liked it. I'm sure I'll try it out next week. Right......

Oddly enough, a good dose of nauseousness has come back to haunt me in these last weeks left. I'm starting to suspect that my diet of frozen burritos, oreos and hot sauce might not be so good for me or baby.

Paranoid doesn't even come close to the way I feel about my family getting the swine flu in the next few weeks. I wish I didn't need people so bad, or I would hole up in here and never come out.

I have huge gilt that next week is PK's 5th birthday and I'm not throwing her a party. She wants a party so bad - and as of today, it's just not going to happen.

Today is the last day to leave a comment if you want to win my Baby K'tan carrier. Clicky over right here.

So there you go, I apologize for the blogging vomit I just spewed. Hopefully something good/funny/entertaining happens soon and I can tell you all about it.

Oh, I am getting my hair cut and colored this afternoon for the first time since June. If I look stunning, I just might post a picture. Don't hold your breath...

Boo! From The DesignHER Momma Crew

2009-10-31T01:00:00.000-04:00

Today Is A Real Treat
Enjoy Yourself
Have a FANGtastic Halloween

Bugs and Hisses,
Emily, Michael, PK & Birdie

37 weeks and giving it away... (no really, a GIVEAWAY)

2009-10-30T01:00:00.001-04:00

Today marks a milestone. I'm officially "full term" when it comes to this pregnancy. Yesterday the doctor confirmed that the little munchkin was head down and ready to go. I guess we're as ready as we're going to be - so let's get this party started!

One of my preparations for this little one has been washing the babywearing stash. I didn't ever wear PK, and I wore Birdie every chance I got (picture to the left is one of my very 1st pics I have of the Bird being carried. I think it's from around 3 weeks old, at the Indiana State Fair 2007).

I fell in love with babywearing because I read some great blogs, particularly Steph's and Drea's that convinced me that babywearing was not only stylish but an awesome bonding experience between mom and baby.

Since I can only use one carrier at a time, I've decided that I need to trim the stash down and share the love. And maybe, just maybe, I might be making room for a new carrier (or three) that I've had my eye on. Don't tell my husband...

I could try to sell them, but frankly I'm too lazy and that's just requires too much work for me. Since I love passing things on and sharing the love with you all; I've decided to give one away - every week - until this baby makes his or her appearance. Pretty much, I'll be giving away somewhere between 1-4 carriers!

This week - up for grabs is a Baby K'tan Carrier (retail $58) in size small, color camouflage. It's not new, it's very gently used (by me, like twice).

To enter, tell me something that's on your mind (like what your favorite boy name is, for example). Anyone who leaves me a comment that says "I wanna win this" will be deleted. Because I'm guessing if you're entering - you want it.

Winner will be announced and contacted when week 38 starts, November 6th.

I'll take the Shewman Special (for the team)

2009-10-28T13:12:00.007-04:00

Last night we went out to dinner, which is super rare for us. Let's face it, we're smart people and know that eating in is way cheaper that eating out. But last night there was this restaurant (that I follow on twitter) boasting some deals that were too good for even my Dutch butt to turn down...

Kids ate Free!
We had a coupon!
There was a good drink special! (for the mister, not me)
Free pumpkin decorating for the kids!
And for added incentive, they bragged of having one of the best "specialty" burgers in town.

So away we went, to Scotty's Brewhouse for our maiden voyage of all things bar-foodie-ish.

Now here at DesignHER Momma, we've been known to take one for the team when it comes to trying new foods. Remember the State Fair chocolate covered bacon episode? Yep, that was a big fail. A few months back I tried a bacon cupcake from HolyCow Cupcakes (which I didn't blog about), but they ended up being really good.

When we got to the restaurant, we knew that we needed to try the Shewman Special, because Indianapolis Monthly Magazine said it was awesome. Not wanting to feel like we were being left out, we ordered it. Taking a better look at the description we then learned:

It's a 1/2 lb grilled burger, topped with PEANUT BUTTER, cheddar cheese, jalapenos and BACON.

We asked our server what she thought about it. She said it scares her like the dark scares little children.

Well, it came. We ate it (see angry husband photo above, devouring his half). It's my new crave.

I will be having fantasy dreams about this heavenly concoctions for years and years to come. I'm thinking even a little Choula would go well with it.

So now I'm left here wondering how many times I can devour it's meaty-peanut-butter-spicy goodness in the next 3 weeks.

Baby, mama's sorry. I'm taking this one for the team.

*disclosure - I love this burger with all my heart and soul. I took no bribe from anyone affiliated with the brewhouse for this post (other than being woo'ed with a $1 off coupon). Clearly, you can see I'm bought easily. You must try it for yourself before you judge.

Baby's listening - Push it real Good.

2009-10-26T09:32:00.006-04:00

I was talking to one of my best friends last week when she asked me if I started getting my hospital bag ready. My response "um...no." Although I have 25 days to go till my due date, she delivered 5 weeks early. With my track record, I plan on seeing December before I see this little one's face.

She cautioned me that I might want to start getting things together "just in case".

She's probably right. The stars might align, I might win the lotto, and I could possibly go into labor before my due date rather than after. It could happen...

Thinking over her advice, I decided that I should start rounding up the necessary supplies. Off to Target I went, to waddle the isles picking up the basic supplies needed for those first few days. I bought a pack of newborn diapers (so cute, so tiny). I bought a box of the biggest maxi pads I could find (seriously not cute nor tiny). Oh, and I also picked up some breast pads and nipple cream (don't you wish cracked, bloody nipples were in your future)?

With that awkward trip to Target behind me; I can now focus on the things that really matter. Today - I'm working on my labor play list. The sounds I'll hear when I'm trying to accomplish the impossible.

I've gone through most of our music, but I need more suggestions.

I want calm, I want soothing. I want to be able to listen to it with the lights dimmed low. I want it to be happy, and I want to be able to hear myself think. Basically, I want the every kind of music my husband hates.

And no, I don't want any dance party Salt n' Pepa "Push it" remixes.

Lay it on me, I'm all ears.

Blogger Belly - 36 weeks

2009-10-22T16:57:00.005-04:00

36 weeks

I fear if I get any bigger I won't be able to reach the keyboard.

Yes, I know, I have a bowling ball coming out of my belly.

No, I don't leave the house dressed like this.

*For more "you capture" technology shots, visit my friend Beth over at I should be folding laundry.

Mama's Lazy - Let's Match!

2009-10-19T14:17:00.005-04:00

Go figure, we've had a few sick days here at our home. Last week it was an allergic reaction to a Halloween oreo with orange stuffing (don't ask), this week it's fighting a cold due to the crazy lady at the pharmacy.

PK has missed a couple days of school; and while this bums here out, I've kept her busy doing "school stuff". Today the afternoon lesson was matching. (I hate with a burning passion sock sorting, can you tell? What gave it away?)

Yet another example of my laziness and why I should never home school. But really, who was I to stop her? Don't worry, I gave her a gold star when she was done.

"Well done! You made a match! Now go fish..."

H1N1: If we didn't have it then, we surely have it now.

2009-10-16T13:08:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I experienced one of the most traumatic, scaring experience in my life. The kind of tragic event that you immediately want to forget, but know you will carry it with you to your death bed.

It happened in public, at the grocery store pharmacy.

I was picking up a prescription (for a noncontagious aliment, I must disclose). The script was called in the day before, so I thought it would be ready and waiting for me when we got there. A quick in-and-out experience was what I had envisioned.

Naturally, it wasn't ready. Apparently, there are a lot of sick people right now and the pharmacist was back-up like a Michigan State bartender during happy hour. I was told I was going to have to wait "just a minute".

As I look around my surroundings, I see people who look like they just stepped off the set of MJ's music video, Thriller. I see people not even able to stand, people clutching their stomachs, folks moaning. Moaning. This might sound like I'm making an exaggeration here for a good story, I wish that was the case. Honestly, I've never seen anything like it.

Since we only have to wait "a minute", and I don't want to come back to this mess, the girls and I decide to wait it out. Bad idea. If I'm not totally freaked out and paranoid to the point of paralysis already, the lady behind me (within arms reach) starts to vomit. into a plastic bag. I seriously feel like I'm in a scene of a bad Will Smith movie where everyone is dying of some unknown illness and the world is ending.

I am so grossed out and freaked out that I quickly move the girls and I straight ahead to the soap isle and crack open the nearest bottle of disinfectant we can find. While we're lathering up, the barfing lady is called to the window and picks up her much needed meds. As she's walking out, she has to pass us to get to the door.

And then it happened.

SHE TOUCHES ME ON THE SHOULDER AND APOLOGIZES FOR GETTING SICK. SHE TOUCHES ME (while the other hand is clutching her barf bag)!

I am obviously pregnant. I obviously had 2 small children with me. Why would anyone who is grossly sick touch another human on purpose? I could go on and on about this situation - how I feel about seriously contagious people going out in public. And did I mention she had a family member/friend accompanying her? SHE SHOULD HAVE WAITED IN THE CAR. OR AT HOME. OR OUT SIDE.

Because of this - I have vowed myself to never go into another pharmacy again. I will only take my business to pharmacies that have a drive-thru.

And I can't get the sound of her very vocal vomiting out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I've been changed for life, it was even more damaging to me than the time I found a hair weave tangled in my cart wheel.

As I walked out out of the store, I made a comment to the girls that everyone should be asked to wear masks when going out in public. Little did we know, that when we got the mail later in the day, Aunt Betsy would deliver a little surprise in the mail.

They insist on wearing them everywhere we go.

And She will be called Cholula

2009-10-14T13:49:00.009-04:00

In this quest to figuring out baby #3's name, many of you have told me that you have named your children after people/places/things that are of importance to you. I think this is an awesome idea - if you have surrounded yourself with people that have cool names.

People that mean a lot to me have names that work for them, but not for me. Although I love many of you dearly, your name just doesn't do it for me when it comes to naming my offspring.

If I did go with this idea of naming my child after things (not people) that have been important in my life, this is what it would look like:

PK would have been named Chester. I ate SO MANY Cheetos during my pregnancy with her that I was amazed she didn't come out with little orange fingers. Lord knows I spent the majority of my pregnancy with them. It's not easy being cheesy.

Birdie would have been named Totino. As in, Totino's Pizza Rolls (preferably the "combo" variety). Every night I would crave these tiny little heavenly pockets of goodness. I still really enjoy a good roll, but not like when I was pregnant with the Bird. It was an unhealthy obsession.

This time around, if this baby happens to be a girl, she will be named Cholula. Bottles upon bottles of this lovely slender lady have been consumed during this pregnancy. I put her on everything. And if I don't pour her on my plate, she's been carefully considered and sadly missed. I might just have to admit that I meal plan around here, making sure she has a place at the table. She's so much for that just a condiment to me. And yes, I do get heartburn and don't care.

What were you're pregnancy obsession? Don't tell me it was broccoli or celery. And I won't believe you for a second if you tell me you craved rice cakes. Be honest.

Chester, Totino and Cholula - would have made a cute bunch of kids, don't you think?

*side note: to the anonymous commenter on my last post who left the comment about naming my kid Terdius, I need to know who you are. You not only made my husband laugh, you made me cry, almost pee myself, and gave me one of my hardest self-induced contractions ever. I might need to hire you to get me through labor.

Perfectly Timed Teasing?

2009-10-13T12:52:00.005-04:00

Last night, I learned that PK is being teased because of her name at school. Her real name is Piper. We all know Piper rhymes with Diaper. Looking back, it was only a matter of time.

Talk about a blow to my heart, I'm so sad that kids are being mean to my daughter and I'm not there to defend her. After talking to her about it, I feel she's taking it in stride at this point. She says it's not everyone, just 3 kids.

At this point, she still likes her name and loves to go to school. Let's cross our fingers that it stays that way and this name thing blows over fairly quickly.

Now, I know that there is never a time where taunting and teasing on the playground is appropriate. One of my greatest fears for my girls is they would be a victim of bullying; or worse yet, be the mean girl. {cringe}

It's ironic that I've learned of this teasing the very same week that I've willed myself to figure out what baby #3 is going to be named. As of right now, I have 2 lukewarm options for the girl name, a big ZERO in the boy department. I have 5 weeks to figure this out.

I love unique names, and assumed that we would give this new baby a simple yet off the beaten path type of name. But, after hearing my daughter cry over her name; I'm second guessing my choices.

Suddenly, names like John, Jim, Sarah and Susan aren't sounding so bad after all. (not saying they are bad, just common.)

When you named your kids? Did you think of all the playground possibilities? I mean really, it's not like I'm going to name it Mary Juana, Candy Cane or Dusty Rhodes. I'm not stupid - just a little clueless on what to do this time around.

No, I'm not trying to smuggle.

2009-10-11T20:46:00.009-04:00

Like any good Midwestern family, on a crisp and sunny Saturday morning; we headed out to the orchard for a little pickin'.

We filled our bags with carefully selected apples.

We picked the biggest pumpkins our arms could carry.

We even got muddy and felt good about it.

And yes, I may have been asked more than once (of course by a man, because us ladies just don't say these types of things) if I was trying to smuggle one away without paying.

Or if I swallowed a seed.

Keep them coming, because your jokes are just soooooooo funny.

For all you bumpaholics, Baby #3
34 weeks.

Sneak Peek into the the baby's "Crib"

2009-10-09T10:31:00.007-04:00

I'm having my 3rd child.

I'm decorated my gender neutral nursery for the 3rd time.

Michael says this will be his last time ever doing this.

Only time will tell...

Last weekend, I set Michael and the girls to work to freshen up the nursery. You would think I could decorate this room once and be done with it, but no.

I'm an interior designer. This is what I do. At least I have an excuse.

With PK, it was Sheep decor a la Pottery Barn. With Birdie, it was brown and red polka-dots from the Gap. This time around? It's all original, all with a little the help of my crazy talented friends. It's one of a kind to say the least.

I'm want to give you a sneak peak into the room, just a look at the good stuff. Remember this thrift store find? It's been turned into a bed skirt and window valences by one of my BFF's Nicole. She has a cute etsy shop called Little Miss Lexie, but seriously if you ever need any custom bedding or kids clothes, she's your girl (especially if you live in Central Indiana).

The art above the crib? Custom made just for this little one from another one of my favorite people (and also interior designer), Melinda. Melinda creates upcycled art (out of discarded vinyl wall covering). She's just getting started with Covered Art and Design, her new little side business.

I love how it's turned out so far. I'm going to wait on the rest so I can accessorize it with either dolls or dump trucks.

I do know I'll be getting another piece of artwork from Mike Altman, I LOVE his stuff (Birdie has a cool "girlie" piece that I moved to her new big girl room).

Oh, and I've ordered a new rocking chair. A hint on the chair? It's from an amazing company located in my hometown of Zeeland, MI. It's retro-fab.

I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks to go. I think I'll be ready soon!

The Impact of a Tiny Print

2009-10-06T15:48:00.009-04:00

Do you love getting the mail?

Do you flip through the stack of junk mail, bills, and magazines to see if there is anything really special to open?

I do. I love to get mail.

My girls LOVE to get mail.

I love mail so much I even love to send mail.

And let's face it. My grandma will never read my blog, answer an email, or download an attachments. The internet has definitely taken over, but there will always be something magical about corresponding the old fashion way.

Over the past couple years, virtually sending evites, thank you's and birth announcements have taken over as the way to communicate. This is fine if it's an invite to a conference call, or reminder that your library books are due. But not for announcing the big stuff.

I've never printed out an evite or email announcement and stuck it to the fridge. But getting a yummy photo card in the mail will always have a special place on my appliance, even long after the event is over.

I've decided to announce my big stuff (hey people, baby on the way) with Tiny Prints. I've started my tiny addiction with note cards.

I've already spent hours (no seriously, hours) looking through the birth announcements I'll be needing at the end of next month.

If it's a girl, I'm thinking this adorable one or maybe this one.
If it's a boy, it's probably gonna be this little number or this.

What do you think?

*and yes, if you're wondering, Tiny Prints is totally hooking me up. Because they're awesome like that.

The Little Roma Who Could...

2009-10-04T15:34:00.008-04:00

This is my Roma tomato plant.

When I got it is was small. Needed to be watered. I paid less than a dollar for it. It was the runt of the litter if I've ever seen one. I almost dumped it because I didn't want it.

I didn't have space in my garden for this little guy, so I tried to give him away. Nobody wanted him. I planted this cast off away from all the other vegetables, by the naughty Black Eyed Susan's and pretentious Lilly's.

This guy rarely got watered and never got weeded. His roots did not get to grown in organic composted soil like my other veggies did. Fertilizer? Well - we don't use that stuff anyway.

It's my little Roma plant that could. I should give him a name, or write a childrens book about him. I've definitely keep Birdie away from this plant; for fear she'll get swallowed whole my this monster. The picture here is just my view from my deck, it's equally large on the other side of the railing.

So what does one person do with so many Roma's? You roast them of course! Because of this little Roma that could; my house smells like an Italian restaurant almost everyday as I try to keep up with the harvesting of the crop.

I now would like to share with you how this domestically challenged person roasts her Roma's (my mama taught me this):

Preheat oven to 275 degrees

then...

Slice your mater in half, lengthwise
core em', get all the seeds out
lay on baking sheet

then...

drizzle olive oil all over them
sprinkle with salt and pepper
add some Italian seasoning (chopped garlic is fab)

then...

slow roast them in the oven for 2-4 hours.

I've been freezing them on the pan then putting them in a ziplock bag to be stored for a later date. What do you do with these you ask?

Eat them plain - because they seriously taste like candy
Add them to your favorite soup
Chop and add to salads
Use as pizza or ice cream topping

You're welcome, these are delish!

Godda Dollar?

2009-10-02T08:52:00.005-04:00

My sisters and I would laugh at the time we were on vacation in Florida, and an inebriated homeless lady asked my younger sister Jenna for a dollar. She held out her shaking dirty hand and asked in her raspy voice "godda dollar?"

At the time it was kinda scary, somewhat funny, but we joke about it still. Did we give her a dollar? Nope. I'm not sure Jenna even had one to give.

Fast forward 15 years, and in the past week I've been asked for money from the homeless twice. Both times, I've been with my kids, on foot, less than a block away from my house. Both times I gave (but gave really poorly, giving only $2 each time).

I know I choose to live in this neighborhood. I want my kids to grow up in a diverse neighborhood NOT filled with people just like us.

These people live in my community. I believe we are called to help our neighbors. If any one of my neighbors knocked on my door tomorrow and asked to borrow something, I would give without a second thought.

When it comes to the homeless, I want to do the right thing. I do want to help. Set an example that my kids will remember. But I have reservation on the proper way to give. Reservations that keep me up at night:

1. I have a liquor store a block from my house. While I want to help the hungry, I do not want to enable an addiction. There is a big difference between being a helper and an enabler.

2. Since it's happening so close to my home, when I'm on foot - I'm afraid if I give once, they will watch where I live and the next thing I know they will be knocking on my door asking for more. (yes this happens in my 'hood).

3. Safety. Am I protecting myself and my children if I just whip out my wallet every time someone asks me for cash. I don't want to be taken for a fool.

I would feel like such a cold hearted youknowwhat if I just turned the other cheek, told the person I had no money, and walked away. (holding my fancy deli sandwich, expensive gelato, and organic vegetables I just purchased on our walk).

I'm interested in what others do. Do you give? Do you claim you have no money? Do you strike up a conversation and try to help other ways? Or do you just walk away...

*Post addition: My Friend Jennifer left in the comments 2 amazing post written by I believe a pastor regarding this issue. They are awesome. If you have a minute, read them here and here.

Nobody will be Slipping Out of Me this Time Around.

2009-09-29T16:23:00.005-04:00

*psa: this post is about birth. If you don't like talking about how babies come into the world, you might want to be on your way. The word vagina is in this post. You've been warned.

Labor. I've done it twice. I think I have no choice but to do it again. There's only one way out (ok, maybe 2) for this child and neither are what I would call a walk in the park.

I've gone into labor naturally both times, and both times received an epidural when enough became enough. At the time, I never once second guessed my choice.

Until...

Birdie was born under a blanket, with the lights out, with no doctor in sight. Because apparently I wasn't being monitored closely enough by the hospital staff and I blissfully couldn't feel my lady parts. Welcome to the world little one, I promise Momma will try not to ignore you now that you're here.

This time around, my doctor has already asked if I want to be induced ahead of time. The answer is, no. I don't want to be induced. She's threatened me that if I don't come to the hospital right away, as in, two weeks early so I can be induced, I'll have this baby in the kitchen. Or the car. Or at Mc Donald's.

You see, I blame how Birdie came into this world on my inability to know what was going on with my body. I want to avoid this as much as humanly possible the 3rd time around. Babies sneaking out of my ladyparts will never happen again. If a baby is coming out of me, I must know it (and so must everyone else in the room with me. Yes I'm talking to you, my husband sleeping on the medical hide-a-bed located across the room, you need to get up for this).

For this reason, I plan on going at this birth naturally. I've gone as far as requesting one of those "natural birthing rooms" at my hospital (aka fancy hot tub). Oh, and I've hired a doula.

Professing that I'm attempting to go at this au natural is very scary for me. I'm scared of becoming a big failure if I just can't do it, and opt. for the drugs. If I make a big deal, spend a bunch of money on a doula, and then end up getting that medical cocktail of goodness pumped into me, what will people think?

I know that I'm risking being "all talk and no action" if I fail. But I'm going to give it a go. I must.

I'm just going to give it my best shot, because not being able to feel your baby slip out of your vagina is not as fun as it sounds.

Thoughts? Friendly words of encouragement?

Instead of this right here.

2009-09-27T20:33:00.007-04:00

I remember a time not so long ago that I would blog almost 5 times a week. You would think that since I haven't blogged since last Tuesday I would have a good explanation. I bet you've been thinking that I've been really busy, or sick, or tired, or maybe on vacation (in my dreams).

Actually, for the first time in 3.5 years of blogging, I'm feeling writers block - tonngue tied if you must. Or maybe I'm just lazy, which is probably closer to the truth. But really, I'll try and think up anything to do instead of blog. Here's what I've been doing instead :

Reading a book I can't decide if it's good or bad. The The Virgin Suicides. I'm pretty sure it's a bad book that I keep telling myself is good. Thoughts?

Shopping on Etsy like it's my job. It's a good thing I don't know the sex of the baby, or it would be over. OVER! I tell ya!

Reading blogs that make me giggle. Between Craftastrophe, CakeWrecks and Lovely Listing, I can easily waste a whole evening.

Taking my kids out with friends, to have a good time at our local bouncy place establishments. Pretty sure they employ only 15 year old boys to stock their shelves.

Or when in doubt, watching TV. I've just discovered the show called Bridezillas - it's amazing and profound television.

So, since I don't know how to end this post nor do I know what to write about next, I'll let you pick what I blog about next. Do you want to hear:

The one about how my daughter drew a picture of a male horsey and how I knew it was a boy...
The one about how I admit my birthing plans and how terrified I am about them...
Or the one about how one time, in high school, I saw a couple old men from my church naked, showering, together.

You decide and I'll deliver. I already know which one you'll choose.

Maternity Garb, it's Tradition!

2009-09-22T19:50:00.005-04:00

Every time I get pregnant, there are a few key pieces that come out of the closet when the end is in site. Pieces of clothing that are so hideous, they mock and taunt my swelling belly - begging the baby with it's awfulness to be birthed already. I'm due in about 8 weeks, and the call to come out has begun.

Michael knows these pieces all too well - as I stole them out of his high school closet when he had his back turned. Now vintage tee shirts that are only priceless to the lucky beholder, as nobody else would ever dream of wearing them.

The first one is a Grateful Dead tie dye tee with a purple dancing bear on the front. This particular item I'm guessing is circa 1996ish and was originally owned by my sister in law, Susan. How it became a staple in my maternity wardrobe is still a mystery to me.

Susan, if you have the history on this garment it would be good to know, for posterity sake of course. And no, you may not have it back. Even if you get pregnant again and want to wear it.

This next one is affectionately called "Jethro". I have pictures of Michael as a young buck wearing this in High School and early on in college when we started dating. If he knew then what he knows now about that tee-shirt, I bet he wouldn't have thought he was so cool after all.

Every time I wear it, I hear Michael start to sing "sitting on a park bench" (which would only make sense to you if you listened to Jethro Tull, which, I'm pretty sure nobody does).

So I'm not sure what you have in your closet for the Fall '09 fashion season. I heard that big, stretched out, faded tie dye is really making a comeback. Just remember, you heard it first here. I'm the cool kid setting all the fashion trends this season.

And really, who wouldn't want to hang out with someone who sports a little Aqualung on their belly?

This child SOOOOOO hates me already.

Trying to Fix Myself

2009-09-21T09:18:00.008-04:00

I just want to thank you all for the encouragement I got on my last whinefest of a post. Taking a look back over my comments and emails, I have a feeling I'm not alone. You all are too kind.

I'm actively taking steps to change my current situation. I don't want to be miserable, so I'm trying to change and make improvements.

Fixing the pain in my back is goal #1. Aside from taking it easy, I've contacted a chiropractor and hope to have an appointment set up this week. I'm praying that the person that works on me has magic fingers.

Oh, and I went out and bought sexy shoes this weekend. Typically when I say "sexy shoes" I mean something like this. But today the definition of "sexy shoes" is this. At least they are patent leather. Don't mock me, my back loves them.

Michael is back from Germany. Our universe has been restored. He even brought me back a box of chocolates and let me sleep in on Sunday. SCORE!

While Michael was away, my mom came down for a couple days to help me survive. Not kidding, she made me at least 30 meals to stock my deep freeze. I did nothing but tell her what to make. I bought the food, chopped maybe one or two onions, and that's it.

She even taught PK how to make pigs in a blanket, or "saucijzebroodjes" if you're really Dutch. I don't think I can describe in words how exciting it is for me to have 4 dozen little yummy pigs just waiting for me to throw in the oven and devour.

So don't worry about us, we be eatin' lots of comfort food. Oh, and as an added little treat, my house now smells like sauteed garlic and ground beef; which can be interpreted as either a good thing or bad thing.

Proof of over-stocked deep freeze. This picture brings a tear to my eye. My frugal food bloggers would be so proud of me.

Hanging tight till the goal

2009-09-17T10:12:00.005-04:00

I have 9 weeks until my expected due date. Honestly, I would not be surprised is I actually lasted another 12 weeks.

Many people that I meet throughout the day ask me how I'm doing. My typical response is "oh, I'm fine - a bit tired, that's it." I'm a big liar McLiar.

The last couple weeks have really been tough on me both physically and mentally. I don't know what's happened - it's like I've hit a wall or something.

Realizing that there are so many women out there that would love to take my place, I try not to whine too much on this blog. I know I am blessed beyond belief. I know things could be way worse. But I also know that if I don't ask for help or support, or ask for prayer, how would anyone know that I'm struggling?

I think my mental and emotional fatigue is directly related to how I feel physically - which is totally wiped out.

Ok, onto the details.

I don't know what is wrong with my lower back, but by late afternoon, I'm in so much pain can't really walk anymore. Believe me when I tell you I've taken the "pregnant waddle" to a whole new extreme. I keep having fantasy dreams of going to a chiropractor and getting adjusted - because it sounds like heaven. Maybe I should just splurge on a massage? Tell my husband that would be money well spent.

I'm anemic - which I'm blaming a lot of my fatigue on. I've been anemic in past pregnancies so I'm not surprised. I think I need to eat a big, juicy steak (preferably from a steakhouse on a hot date with my husband).

I have a lot of contractions, which concerns me. I feel like I have them all day, every day. I timed them for the first time last night. I had them coming every 5-8 minutes for about 2.5 hours. I probably should have called the doctor, and I was going to - but then they stopped. If it happens again, I promise I'll make the call. Pray that my uterus takes a big fat chill pill.

And lastly, Michael is halfway around the globe this week for work. He's working in a land where the language is foreign but the beer is tasty. He'll be back in a few more days, and our universe can be rightfully restored. Don't get me wrong, I'm not alone - my mom is here right now helping me with the girls. (so all you stalkers can get it out of your head to come over here. Oh, I have a big dog that bits).

Anyway, I'm just asking, if you're the praying type, to say a little prayer for me and this little baby. I know it's nothing I can't handle, but right now the road seams long.

Oh, and can I just mention that I think that Dugger lady is crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y.

3 down, 1 to go...

2009-09-14T16:56:00.003-04:00

I have 3 sisters. We're all married now except for my youngest sister Betsy (who is still in college, go Spartans, so it's appropriate that she's still single, for now). And Betsy - the flower girl dresses will probably fit them for the next year or so...just an FYI.

My younger sister Jenna got married to a great guy this past weekend, affectionately now know around here as Uncle Lance. Needless to say, my family doesn't party often, but when we do - it's a good one.

I have a few pictures to share of the big day. As you know, I'm no photographer, so sorry about the quality. It was so much prettier in real life...

My Dad walking Jenna down the isle. The wedding was at my Aunt and Uncles house, which is located on a lake. The weather was simply amazing. No mistaking it - God approves of this relationship and he showed it with perfect skies!

"You may kiss the bride" And kiss he did.

PK and my mom. The girls did awesome throwing petals down the isle. Well, let me rephrase that. PK did awesome, Birdie just threw her whole basket aside and ran down the isle. Really, that's all I could have ever asked for.

A rare shot of my grandma and myself with my 3 sisters. Aren't they beautiful? I think they clean up well. Myself on the other hand, well, I just look pregnant.

I don't have many photos of the reception, which was equally amazing. I've been told the party lasted till the wee hours of the morning - although this tired and sore mama lasted only until around 11:30pm.

I've realized that being hugely pregnant at a dance party is not as fun as it sounds. I've seen some of the after party photos floating around on Facebook, looked like good time.

Jenna & Lance -

Your day was beautiful, just like I'm sure your marriage will be. A few things I must get off my chest:

1. I'm incredibly jealous that you're in Mexico right now and I'm stuck here in Indiana (with no plans of escape). Have an amazing time, drink one (or eight) margaritas for me.

2. When they loaded up all your gifts in the back of my car Saturday night, I have no idea where they went from there. I swear I had nothing to do with their disappearance. Oh, and I love all my new kitchen gadgets and bath towels.

And lastly,

3. Enjoy your time together as a couple. Next thing you know, 7 years will have flown by and you'll have 2.5 kids. Right now you're getting PAID to wipe butt - it's not always going to be that way. Not sayin' it's a bad thing, just enjoy your quite time.

WE LOVE YOU!

2 out of the 5 Reasons

2009-09-11T14:16:00.004-04:00

My little sister is getting married this weekend, so we're back home in Michigan for the weekend. Remarkably, the weather's perfect for a wedding on the Big Lake (actually, Lake Macatawa to be exact).

I love living downtown in the city so much, not much could move me away from Indy. In fact, I can probably count on one hand the reasons that could lure me back to West Michigan.

2 out of the 5 reasons:

My Mom

My Dad

Now wish the girls luck for tomorrow, PK and Birdie are walking down the isle with little flower petals. Pray for confidence and no major meltdowns.

And let's hope this *trip down the runway/isle is a bit more graceful than the last time we attempted it

*(skip to the bottom of the post, watched the video. Have a good laugh at the second little girl to grace the runway. Look out Tyra...)

Blogging 101 - Careful what you Title your Post.

2009-09-09T21:29:00.008-04:00

Sometimes when I have a story to tell on this blog, thinking of a unique title is half the battle. If my title is funny and interesting, way more of you will be unknowingly sucked into reading it. If I give it some boring old "what we did this weekend" type title; you all will be smart enough to ignore my mundaneness and you'll move on without a second glance. Sounds pretty basic - right?

What I've recently learned and yet really don't fully understand (because I know nothing about SEO, search engines or how that thing called "google" really works) is that what you title your blog post matters.

For instance - It was recently brought to my attention that I'm getting lots of hits for people searching for the "Biggest Lady Ever" thanks to this post. Yes, I titled my post "Biggest Lady Ever". My mistake.

At the time of my realization, I was the 4th article down when you searched those keywords.

Since I thought this was an interesting claim to fame, I decided to tweet it out and tell my facebook friends all about my new found celebrity status. Dumb, stupid, bad decision.

What I didn't realize, is that when you entice people to google you like that, your rank goes up (no kidding, so that's how that works).

Anyway, by the end of the night, I was the #1 hit for "Biggest Lady Ever" and the #4 image search for the same term.

Exhibit A:

See that little silhouette 4th across? According to the Internet, it's the biggest lady ever. ME.

But don't get me wrong, I'm also famously known for: "aqua dumps" and "wearing jams", "dirty road trip games" and my favorite, "food poisoning from expired bologna" according to google.

I know, makes me wonder what type of blog I really write (and what kind of creeps are reading this). I'm just glad that I no longer rank high with the "naked superhero" crowd anymore. Oh yes I did - one time long ago.

I want to know, have you ever googled yourself or your blog and came up with something to be proud of?

Go ahead, make me laugh. What wacky searches have hit your blog?