Now that I think about it....

It was 40 years ago today....

2010-04-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

April 22, 1970 Philadelphia, Fairmont Park. Ground Zero - Earth Day.

I was 14 years old. I told my parents that I was going to a “science fair” that my science teacher was also attending. That was sort of true. It was about science, right? And my science teacher was attending. Just not with me.

I arrived at the breakfast table in the tie dyed shirt I had crafted the night before and was promptly told to go upstairs and change into “normal clothes”. So I did what any self-respecting teenager would do. Went upstairs, changed my clothes and stuffed the shirt in my homemade hippy bag. Off I went.

Arriving late, we had to park a mile away, so even though we missed The March, we walked some of the route along with other latecomers. We arrived at the park to a sea of people. Amazing. Estimates ranged from 20 to 40 thousand. We settled into our tiny piece of lawn and got to know our neighbors.

People were walking through the crowd handing out bags of “food”. I opened mine to find a slice of bread and an 1/8 cup of uncooked white rice. There was a note that stated “if every single person on the planet shared the existing food supply, this is what we would eat each day”.

Senator Edmund Muskie was on stage calling for “an environmental revolution”. He was criticizing government priorities, which was spending “twenty times as much on Vietnam as we are to fight water pollution…”. Sound familiar?

Up until this point, I had lived in a bubble that was my parent’s world. This day, I saw the world that I wanted to be a part of - every age, every size, every color, every, everything - all coexisting in cooperation. We were full of hope and belief that we could make a difference.

Looking back I realize the first Earth Day had nothing to do with climate change. It was all about the simple idea that we needed to change our attitude toward the land we lived on, the water we drank and the air we breathed - that we needed to show respect for the very basics that we depend on for our own survival.

Now that I think about it, that remains our truth today.

It was a day that remains in my top ten Best Days list.

2009-01-09T23:13:00.001-08:00

I ran across this post while researching some old haunts. This was a FREE Springsteen concert. Posted on "Brucebase"

04/28/74 - SWARTHMORE COLLEGE, SWARTHMORE, PA
ONE afternoon outdoor show, double bill, with Springsteen & The ESB headlining and acoustic outfit WIRE AND WOOD (F.C. Collins, Craig Bickhardt, Rick Bell, Bill Shulz, Joey Alfonsi, Fred DeTomasso) opening. According to the school’s newspaper if the weather was poor this show was to be held indoors (in Clothier Building Auditorium) but if the weather was fine it would be held outdoors in the school’s small, stunningly beautiful Scott Amphitheater. Perfect, unseasonably warm, weather prevailed so the concert was held outdoors in front of an audience of less than 300 lucky patrons. Apparently the quaint, picturesque atmosphere elicited a particularly jazzy performance by Bruce and the band. Swarthmore was an all-girls school and Philadelphia Inquirer critic Bill Mandel, who attended this show, described Bruce and the band as performing “to a glade-full of barely clad satyrs and nymphs who writhed and danced in and out of the trees”.

“Swarthmore College’s intimate Scott Amphitheater, site of Springsteen & the ESB’s April 28, 1974 concert. Without doubt the most beautiful, magical location Bruce and the band have ever performed”

Photo by Steve Meade

What a day. We went back stage after the show and continued to party with everyone. Somewhere there is a photo of me with my wide brimmed Chinese hat that was filled with fresh flowers. Now that I think about it, I guess I was one of those "barely clad" nymphs and yes, we were dancing, happy and full ... of tequila!

We have been very lucky in love.

2008-08-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

It was thirty years ago today.    The first date.   One of us was divorcing, the other was six months out from the end of a relationship.   I can remember the beginning of our first date, but I can't remember it ever ending.   We have been together ever since the first 'clink' of the glasses that night.

Through the years, we hear people talk about how marriage takes "work".   We always look at each other, shrug our shoulders, and wonder, "are we doing something wrong?".   We have just always fit with each other.   Our individual wants and needs have always been closely aligned.   As have our hopes and dreams for ourselves and each other.

We were two people whose lives intersected by happenstance.   Now that I think about it, we were very lucky indeed, as well as, in love.

Some places are just down right perfect.

2008-06-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, life is perfect at the very moment you find yourself in a perfect place. It all comes together and washes over you like a dream that you have wished for all your life. These are glorious times. Nothing can touch you. Your connection to the beauty of nature has such a solid bond, that for an instant, you feel you will never break away. You don't want to break away. And when you do feel its release, you go away savoring every detail of the memory. For a long time.

It's just another fish story.

2008-03-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

It all started with that silly movie. You know the one. All the sudden every guy I knew wanted to be able to throw a fly line and tie the perfect flies. So when faced with the choice of becoming a fishing widow or joining the journey, I chose to go for the ride. And it was a long and bumpy one. I was not what you would refer to as a "natural". Quite the contrary. The first five years were pretty much skunked. That's right. Five YEARS! But I was determined and slowly but surely, I began to land fish. Or at least get them close enough to look them in the eye.

I remember my first fish, because it was my first. A respectable 16" trout. Then a couple years later, I remember that big hog wild rainbow (swear it felt like a salmon) that my buddy Bill had to help me land. That sucker jumped five times and almost spooled me. And now, I remember this one. It was my first lightweight (3 wt.) take and I was being cheered on by many of my favorite people as I brought this beauty in.

When I got started in this I really didn't understand the deal. But now that I've been doing this for ten years, I get it. Now that I think about it, fishing provides me the stillness that I need to balance out my ever moving, ever changing life! So here's to you my slimy, scaly, little (and not so little) friends. Thanks for the tight lines and quiet times.

Not all gifts come wrapped in packages

2007-12-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

There was no Christmas tree this year. There were no presents. No pretty packages waiting to be opened Christmas morning. There were no stockings filled with goodies. There was no feast in my oven or guest list to check off. Nothing. If someone had told me that this kind of Christmas would be a season of joy for me, I would have asked them what kind of happy pills they were taking. And then ask for a few.

But, surprisingly, that's the way it turned out. My gifts this year came in the form of people from my past. People who I once loved to the core of my soul. Some of whom I had not seen in over 30 years. Old classmates, old girlfriends, old boyfriends, and even my maid of honor. Never have I been surrounded by people who reveled so deeply in the joy of being together. One more time. Our voices danced and swirled about the old kitchen where we once gathered together all those years ago. It was truly the sound of joy. Repeat...the sound of joy.

I sat Christmas morning in my hotel room, surrounded by the pictures and the memories of that night. It touched me to the center of my being.

Now that I think about it, they were my gifts this year, making it one of my warmest and most loving seasons.

My Christmas Card List Is Shrinking

2007-11-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

Upon each passing of Thanksgiving Day, I dig out the Christmas Card List, dust it off and look to see how many cards and stamps to buy. And though I have not noticed this in the past, this year I was struck by two names that will be crossed off. Not that we had a disagreement, nor is it they failed to reciprocate with a card last year. It is because they are no longer living. This was the year they left us. So they will not be at their address if the mailman tries to deliver.

Now that I think about it, I send fewer and fewer cards every year. This year, to honor them, I will look back and embrace my memories of all of those who have left my list and share my love for them, with those who are still living.

They Were Almost Famous

2007-11-17T23:09:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty cool boyfriend who was a friend and roadie to a group of really talented musicians. I remember the first time I heard them play. It was pure love at first sound. There was no doubt I was in it with them for the long haul. Every practice, every wedding, every bar, every gig. Most of those gigs have faded from memory, while one I will remember until the day I die. Maybe even longer.

Nineteen Seventy-four. Springsteen at Swarthmore. They opened for Bruce plenty of times, but this was a fresh spring day at an open air amphitheater. The flowering trees that were sheltering us from the sun, were dropping their white petals. They came spinning down upon us as if it were snowing. All the girlfriends were there, sitting in a circle, passing round the Cuervo. And we had our boys, Bruce and the E Street Band to dance around to. It was as perfect as a day can get.

Now that I think about it, I was hooked on the music and lyrics that flowed from these guys as if it were a drug. They may not be famous to the world, but they will always mean the world to me.

I have loved wine as far back as I can remember!

2007-06-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

As a toddler, my grandparents would take me to church with them. A church that used real wine at communion. My Yia Yia told me it was "juice", so I would sit in church and repeat, "Juice? Juice?" until we would take our walk down the aisle. The beginning of a long, sometimes colorful history of me and wine.

Pre-legal years it was Boone's Farm and homemade wine that was so bad we drank it in shot glasses. Shot it back like a bad whiskey. In my twenties came the boxed and jug wine. Lots of buzz for the buck, but somewhat more respectable than the previous wines.

Then I moved to California wine country, before it became the tourist mecca that it is today. Tastings were free at the wineries. That's where and when I learned about fine wine. Kind of a good-news-bad-news thing. I upgraded my drink and reduced my number of hangovers....but also the size of my pocketbook. The good stuff don't come cheap. Not without connections anyway. So now I drink no wine before its time.

Now that I think about it, it's time! Cheers!

...there are different types of "highs".

2007-06-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I went up in a balloon. Unknowingly, it would, years later, prove to be the first of many ascents. Of those many flights, only a handful are clear memories. The first one on that SoCal desert morning. My first flight with an instructor. The bruises from my first "high wind landing". The two solo flights (yikes!). My final check ride that led to the award of my commercial license. My first flight in the snow. And my last flight. It was time to move on.

The funny thing about this is I'm not fond of heights. If I allow myself to think about being on the 22nd floor of a building, my knees feel weak. Or even the fourth floor, for that matter. The first time my instructor asked me to look over the edge of the basket to track the direction we were heading, I looked at him like he had just been released from an institute for the criminally insane. "Are you nuts?" But somehow, being suspended in the air, with no attachment to the ground, has a sensation all it's own. It is not filled with fear. It's more like wonder. Freedom.

Now that I think about it, this taught me how to "fly" through life with wonder and freedom, leaving my weak knees behind.

Two is definately better than one!

2007-05-30T19:39:00.001-07:00

I've done both. Been alone and been a couple. Although I do enjoy temporary alone time occasionally, I prefer being a part of a couple. And I've been very fortunate in that department. Been a part of my couple for more than half my life. This is the favorite part of my life. The best part of my life. Why?

Now that I think about it.... there is no better feeling than having this one person love me more than any other on the planet.

I'd rather be by the water than anywhere else.

2007-05-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

Any water will do. Pond, creek, lake, river, ocean....even a chlorinated pool, if that's all that's available. As a kid, my parents had a hard time getting me out of the water once I was in it. And still today, my aerobic choice is swimming. To decompress, I fly fish for trout (C&R only) and when searching for a vacation spot, there is usually an ocean involved, with lots of snorkel time.

Now that I think about it, I am a true water baby at heart.

...this is what my kitchen used to look like.

2007-05-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

I was the consummate Yuppie. I had every gadget under the sun. Each payday would be spent in the Macy's kitchen department, followed by a four course meal at the newest, greatest, up and coming restaurant in the Bay Area. Those were my 'foodie' days. I drove my loving husband and friends crazy, dragging their butts to every gourmet "Place of The Day". They just wanted a burger for dinner.

Now that I think about it, they must really love me. I was a pain. Passionate about my food, but a pain, non the less.

...there is a lot of art in nature.

2007-05-21T21:14:00.001-07:00

A lazy stroll along the river one Sunday ended up being an exercise in natural art. Simply looking down around my feet, as I paused for a moment, rendered this little arrangement. Viola. Instant art. No paint brushes, no art lessons, no sketch pads in the trash can. Simple and instant without much of a thought.

Now that I think about it, why can't everything in life be so simple? No fuss, no muss.

I'm not sure I ever took the time.....

2007-05-21T20:24:00.001-07:00

...to write anything down. Ever. It's all in my head, bouncing around, back and forth, and now things are getting lost. Fifty-two years of life will do that. So maybe it's time. To write it down.

Let's start with a picture. I have lots of those.

This is where I am today. Beautiful Siskiyou County. Home to Mount Shasta, elevation 14,179. Never climbed it and never will...but know many who have. Not an easy feat, for sure.

It took me 42 years to find this place and was well worth the wait. It's a good place to be. Lot's of clean air, spring water, peace, quiet and an endless supply of nature. A community that we proudly refer to as "harmoniously diverse". Good people with diametrically opposed ideas. And we all get along.

So this is my base. This place holds me in place. Anchored to my life.

Now that I think about it, this is the home of my soul.