Beautiful Mess

Pinterest and YHL Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:41:00 +0000

I'm an avid reader of Young House Love. I adore their site, their passion for home projects, blogging and of course their adorable daughter. And ever since Justin and I became home owners, I have this overwhelming feeling of making our house a home. I want to knock down walls, put walls up, move things around, open things up, replace this and that and decorate decorate decorate. But wait? I'm not rich.

I can't just go doing what I want when I want because Justin was pretty strict at first. His one rule: no hanging anything on the walls until we re-texture and paint! He was such a party pooper because I had all these pins that I just wanted to DO. I was itching for projects but everything involved hanging BUT we painted and I've been putting my pins to good use.

But, what does YHL have to do with all this of mumbo jumbo? Well, if you read their site, they started their own little challenge called "Dude, Get On That Already" and I'm putting myself up for the challenge as well. Some stuff I have lying around our house, some items I have to go buy. But for me, I just needed a reason to get my butt in gear and start doing the projects that I've pinned.

And the other night, I made this :) A photo collage mainly of our bug with some pictures of myself and Justin thrown in there. All I needed was 2 form core boards, mod podge, brushes, pictures and some command damage free hanging strips. I bought extra items though. Like one of those rulers that cuts pictures because I wanted to make sure my cuts were as straight as possible. And then other projects supplies. Our board warped a ton and it would not stay on the wall so we used finishing nails to secure them and you can't even see them, even up close. It's not perfect, some pictures are crooked but that doesn't matter to me. I absolutely love it.

I've also managed to turn 3 beer bottles into vases, wrapped with hemp and last night, I made my own liquid hand soap and laundry detergent.

Working or Staying Home

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:46:00 +0000

A couple weeks ago, I was chit chatting on the phone with a client at work. He brought up my daughter, asked how she was doing and then continued to say "oh, your one of those moms." Ya know, the mom that wakes up bright and early, scrambles to get her kid(s) ready, and works long days. Yes guy, I am one of those moms because I need to make a living as well.

I was so furious, but continued to be kind to him, professional. When really, I was just wanted to yell at him. What gives him the right to judge me for working full-time? Sometimes, it just has to be done. I honestly believe he didn't mean for any of it to be rude and he probably didn't think he would upset me, either. But he did.

I can't stop thinking about that comment that was made. I don't want to be that mom. I want to be able to stay home with Laila, make home-made play dough or finger paint. I want to watch her grow and learn, I don't want to miss anything that happens.

But a decision like this is BIG for our family. We'll lose my income, unless I pick up babysitting other kids and I think having once income scares us. What if Justin lost his job or a car broke down? Or our roof needs replacing? Big decisions...grown up decisions, still scare me. I also have guilt for potentially putting all the financially responsibility on Justin. It just isn't fair to him.

I vent to Justin and a lot about this and he always has the same reply, "do what makes YOU happy, Jessica; I will stand behind you."

It's a tough decision but everything in me wants to stay home with Laila and I'm pretty confident that it can happen, in a couple months.

All About Laila: 13 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

My ~~baby~~ toddler is 13 months, already!!! Didn't she JUST have her birthday? Crazy how fast time flies.

Laila is getting over a sickness but we aren't entirely sure what sickness it is. The doctor said it could be the virus we all got a couple weeks ago, still lingering around in her system or maybe she ate something funky over the holidays because really, that's when everything started happening. She was spitting up, everything that she drank or ate, even if it was a small amount. She had the worst diarrhea ever and fought you when you tried to change her diaper. I don't blame her for fighting the changes, I'm sure it hurt.

She seems to be doing better, still working on getting her system completely back to normal, though. She is finally off the only-liquid-diet and is making her way to bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. The can handle those things but eventually we'll have to start adding other items, I'm just afraid the diarrhea will come back. She hasn't had milk in days, except I gave her some this morning, lets hope that didn't cause her tummy to be upset. She loves the grape Pedialyte and drank that up as soon as possible.

At Laila's last doctor appointment, which was January 5th, Laila weighed in at 19.4 (5?) pounds. Exactly 1 pound less than what she weighed at her 1 year check up, which was on December 2. The fact she she lost 1 pound, just scared me but the doctor told me not to worry, so worry I shall not.

When she isn't sick, she was an appetite and loves to eat, and eat anything. It's pretty amazing what that girl can handle. Bananas are still her favorite and she recently just started to love eating oranges. My fruit girl!

She's drinking milk at her meals and water in between. Personally, I don't give her juice because when she was younger and had some, she wouldn't drink her water. She instantly got addicted to the juice so I took it away as fast as possible. No, I don't completley deprive my daughter of it, she has it once in a while and by once in a while, I mean 3 times a month, maybe, if that. Water is better for you anways :)

She is constantly talking and learning how to say her own version of words. She doesn't sign to often. I've really only been able to get her to do it sometimes. The only one she signs a lot lately, is uppy. But, I also haven't been working on signing with her too much.

She'll pick up her toys but you have to help her. Monkey see monkey do. That's what it's like with her.

She hugs, kisses you, gives you high fives. She tries to ride the dog and will sit on her and cuddle with her. Can't lie, it's adorable.

Laila is still sleeping in her own room, usually going to bed around 7:30-8. The past couples nights, she's wanted to fall asleep in my arms, or come into bed with us. I think that has a lot to do with her being sick. Her bathtimes have been moved to every other night, since her skin has been getting dry, even with moisturizing it.

She is still a big fan of bath time. We have a cup in there, she'll fill it up with water and slowly pour the water onto her body, just like she has seen me do - and yes, we take baths together every once in a while. She's also a big fan of lying on her belly, once again, and blowing bubbles.

She's walking, running, trying to climb the stairs. She tries to climb into her high chair when she wants food. She pushes our kitchen chairs around (they're old school and have the rolly things on the bottom) climbs into one and sits there. She is seriously repeating everything you do now. It's scary!!!

She has to climb onto everything and once she's up, she must come done and then up, down, up down. It's a game to her.

Laila does watch T.V. Not for long amounts of time and usually just in the morning when she wakes up. Those shows on Disney, all the baby ones. She'll lay in my lap and stare. I like this because it's the best time I can get my cuddles in.

Laila has been a daddy's girl since day 1 and there were some nights that she wouldn't let me near her. She would cry and scream if I held her and I would instantly start crying. That hasn't happened in a while, though. The past couple weeks, she seems to be turning into a mama's girl! She always wants me, and not daddy as much. Yes, she still preferes him at times, but everything is mama lately. I don't mind. She's even gotten upset in the mornings when I have to leave her for work. I think it's all the time we've been spending together, since I've been taking a ton of vacation.

Laila has 4 bottom and 4 top teeth. Pretty soon, though, she'll have 6 bottom teeth. Chompers. Oh, and Laila loves to brush her teeth, unless it's just that baby toothpaste she likes to suck off. Either way, she gets all giddy when I pull her toothbrush out.

Laila is pretty calm and doesn't have too bad of an attitude. It's definitely tolerable at this moment. She'll get upset and lay on the floor, cry, and look up at you with this cute face. Haha, I can expect this to get worse when she gets older.

She's also still a huge huge fan of her paci. I haven't even attempted to take it away from her, though. I'm pretty sure her and I are both addicted to it.

Yup, that's my 13 month old. A happy, smiley, friendly, toddler who is the best ever. Being a mom is seriously the greatest feeling ever!

2012 Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

I don't even think I made any 2011 resolutions last year, besides lose weight and that one definitely didn't happen (besides a few pounds here and there) and I didn't think I was going to make any this year but, here I am, about to write them out. I might regret this later because now I'll be sharing my resolutions not with just me and my fiance, but with whoever reads this, if anyone does at all. And, instead of me just caring and feeling disappointment if I fail, I'll have to worry about others and if they'll be disappointed or even just a smidge bummed out, haha

Here they are anyways:

1. Lose Weight - I can't even believe I'm putting this one back up there and it's been on one of these lists for years now! How shameful but it's something I need/want to do. It's more than just being "skinny" I want to feel good about myself and not be embarrassed, I don't want to have to hide myself in unfashionable clothes. I wanna look good and there's nothing wrong with that but I also want to do it in a healthy way!

2. Budget My Money - Justin and I have our own bank accounts. His money is his and my money is mine. We each pay our bills, which are evenly split between the two of us, for the most part. We go to each other when one wants to purchase something big and expensive and we have to make sure it's do-able. But, we don't really "budget" Money gets thrown around on stupid stuff - and that's our issue and honestly, sometimes we just don't know where the heck $50 went, or $100, I hate it and I really want us to start budgeting and watching where our money goes and STOP the random spending.

3. Meal Planning - I made a fancy meal planner chart and hung it on our fridge. I love it and we used it for a couple weeks and stopped. Not because we were bored with it, thought it was too much work, or any of those nonsense reasons. We bought a home and that totally threw us off! It ended up being packed away and then I had no clue where the heck I hid that thing but now, I stare at it everyday, wanting to get back into it because it made everything SO much easier. In the financial department, especially. No last minute grocery runs because we don't have anything to eat, when really, we have a ton to eat. So I'm really hoping to jump back on board with this one.

4. Photograph More - First and foremost, I haven't pulled out my DSLR or camera phone in such a long time, I don't know why because it's something I love and it's something Justin and I even talked about turning into a career, my career. So, I'm a little confused...with myself WHY I haven't been using it as often. But I'm really hoping to pull that bad boy out and learn even more.

5. Read Read Read - I absolutely LOVE my Kindle, best thing ever and I really want to make sure I take full advantage of it and read as many books as I can this year, especially since reading is one of those things that fully-relaxes me and almost every night, I fall asleep reading. I find it comforting. So, in 2012, I would like to read 36 books, 3 books a month. I'm very confident that I'll be able to reach this goal! If you have book recommendations, please feel free to let me know!

6. Bring out my Crafty Side - I made Laila's mobile, I made her letters hanging above her crib, I've made things around the house, and I've enjoyed every second of it. And I really want to make sure, that in 2012, I really bring out my crafty side and work on a ton of DIY projects that I currently have pinned that are gathering dust, haha. I even want to learn how to crochet (again) this year. Lets hope I can do all that in 2012!

7. Be the best freaking mom, ever! of course :]

Um, I think that's all the resolutions for now and even though I have some for the family as well, I felt like just sharing my personal ones (besides the budgeting) I'm really excited for 2012 and to see what's in store!

It'll happen, eventually

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:13:00 +0000

I'm just getting back into the swing of things after the holiday season and enjoying so many days off of work, which has been SO incredibly nice, and after it all, I just can't (or maybe I just don't) want to get back into my old full-time workin' life.

I have a couple of posts to write about, including our 2011 in review, my 2012 resolutions, All About Laila: 13 months and then I wanted to write more about my struggles with working full-time, but I'm just so behind and I can't seem to catch up.

Poo. I'll get there

Christmas and an Adoption Hearing!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:33:00 +0000

Phew! Christmas was a breeze and I'm kind of glad it's over and done with. We went to so many family functions and Laila received way too many toys, just like her birthday. Our dining room turned playroom is packed and looks like a tornado went through it. It's sad to think that in a couple days, after the new years, I'll have to take down our Christmas tree and all our Christmas decor. *sniffle* I love Christmas and what I also love is having the time off from work to spend it with my family.

Speaking off, having the last 4 days off really set something off inside me. It made me really realize how much I wish I could stay home with Laila and it brings tears to my eyes. Especially since I've been frusturated with certain aspects of my job but hey, that's what being a grown up is about right? Justin and I need both of our incomes. So I'll be stuck sitting behind this desk, eyes glued to the computer for the next couple...months? years? forever? who knows.

Another fun and exciting event that went on this weekend: My parents adopted again! The official court hearing was yesterday which unfortunately I missed almost the whole thing. Had to tend to a cranky toddler that was getting evil looks, out in the hallway. Afterwards, everyone headed to my parents church to celebrate with some lunch, presents, and cake. It was a really great time and I am so excited for her to finally be in our family!

I have to get around to editing and posting all the pictures from Christmas and the adoption. It's just been a busy time for us. Hang in there!

christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:50:00 +0000

This year has come and gone just like that and I still can't believe that over a year ago, I gave birth to the sweetest little girl ever.

It's just so crazy to know that this time last year, I was cuddling with my old month old, who needed me to do everything for her. Now, my almost 13 month old has become so independent. She runs around the house, dances, babbles all day long, insists on pulling ornaments off the tree, helps wraps presents then unwraps them the second she realizes no one is looking at her. Hides things in the garbage can, and so much more. But she is still my baby and always will be.

I love this age.

Anyways, Christmas is right around the corner and I feel...rushed. I wasn't expecting this time to sneak up so quickly on us. I still have some presents to pick up and wrap and the cookies we made yesterday have to be decorated today. We'll also being going to my dads parents house tonight for some Christmas time and yet today is a work day for me, only till 1:30 though.

I just need time to slow down and that is not going to happen. Nope. Never.

But, I'll me mia for the next couple days. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!

what's been going on and Laila's FIRST birthday party!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 02:57:00 +0000

I've been MIA for some time now and I figured it's time I share what's been going on. Err, that just sounded like I was giving bad news. Hmm, nope no bad news here...except that I just got over the flu and it came out of nowhere! All the sudden I woke up at 2:38 a.m. went to the bathroom and puked, went back to bed, woke up in the morning and sat, and sat oh and sat SOME MORE on the toilet (tmi?) and then went to work. Puked at work, looked like death, was sent home after being there an hour, puked and sat more more on the toilet. Ugh, my body was weak. I could barely walk, pick things up, I was not functioning. Oh and blood showed up. And a fever. Some shivering. Some sweats. Horrible horrible horrible!

Anywho, Laila had her one year appointment December 2 - the day before her birthday party! She's 20 pounds, um can't remember her height and apparently here head shrunk? It'll get remeasured at her next appointment, she just was not too interested in having something wrapped around her noggin' and I don't blame her! Which resulted in a screaming, wiggling back and forth baby while I frankly try and hold tight to make sure she doesn't fall out of my arms. Are one year olds really that strong?!

Shots - oh the dreadful shots. I for sure thought I was going to start crying. This was the worst ever, she's learned that when there are two nurses getting stuff ready that it's time for shots. It was horrible. 2 shots in on her right leg went quickly but the 1 shot on her left leg didn't go so well, she couldn't keep Laila's leg held down too well to get the shot and ended up pricking her and having to redo it. Of course it was a shot that had to sting and she shrieked. eeekkkk. It was horrible. I swooped her up as sooooonnnn as I could. :[ The whole thing just felt so unfair for Laila :[

The next day came so fast and I was rushing to get things done. Good thing Laila napped and hour and a half before her party started. I had to wake her up when all the people started showing up! Everything was a blast and I took in every moment I could, trying not to stress over the little things. Here are some photos from the party.

This is on November 30th - the day she turned 1. Justin put some ice cream on her plate with her cupcake. Too cold ice cream resulted in this face but isn't it still the best face ever!??!! I giggle every time I see this :]

December 3rd - opening birthday presents in front of our Christmas Tree (which she won't stop touching now)

Pointing at her cake but being such a good girl waiting patiently.

Smearing it all over her face, which took her a while to do. She was gently touching her cake when we first brought it out to her.

"What is this stuff all over my hands?"

The birthday girl had a blast and actually had to go down for a nap maybe 15 minutes after her cake and people were still gettin' their party on, haha. She received a boat load of toys and they're currently overtaking our formal dining room which has been her playroom ever since we moved in.. I still can't believe I have a one year old. How is that? Can someone turn back time so I can re-live all those precious newborn moments? Nope? I didn't think so. But, I sure will enjoy all these precious moments of my one year old. Love you my dear Laila.

xoxo

cool fact: Laila's name means "dark haired beauty" which I find beautiful. Here's to hoping she has dark hair like myself (she already has my curly hair...on the back of her head)

Laila's Birthday Party

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:28:00 +0000

I was a complete mess the day of Laila's birthday party. I couldn't stop worrying about anything and everything. I kind of felt like I wanted to pull my hair out and fast forward to the end of the day.

I was worried where people would park and if they'd complain because we live on a busier street. I was worried about food and if there would be enough. I was worried about having 20+ people in our home, since this is the first time all of our family has been in our house at once. I was afraid it wouldn't be clean enough or as "put together" since we have nothing on the walls, paint swatches in various rooms but really, no one seemed to mine.

And I stressed over no reason. We had plenty of food! Yes, there were some issues with parking but it didn't ruin our day. The only thing I was hoping for, was some sunshine. Instead, we got rain. Bleh.

Laila received so many nice toys. Clothes, puzzles, Violet, a phone, a laptop, a popper, magnets, bath stickys and many many more toys. She didn't really open her gifts as much as I thought she would. Probably because she was distracted by the new toys that were already opened? Didn't matter though, she was all smiles. And when it came time for her cake, at first she wasn't too interested. She'd stick her fingers in it, look at them and wonder what all the stuff was. "hmm, this tastes good, i'll just stick my whole hand in there now and shove it in my face" that's pretty much how it went. Not too bad!

Shortly after her cake, she was ready for a nap and her party wasn't even over, there was still maybe 20 minutes left. But, Justin cleaned her off and layed her down. I didn't want to force her to stay awake. She was beat and ended up sleeping till 5:30 after going down around 2:40ish. No bigger, gave me time to completely open all her toys and clean up.

I have yet to edit all of the pictures taken from her birthday and her party. I promise I'll get around to it, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

Happy Birthday!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:28:00 +0000

This post will be short and sweet, just how I like it :]

Today, my baby turned ONE! I stayed home with her, slept in, made her pancakes, finished decorating the house with all types of Christmas decor, cleaned, went to Hobby Lobby with my mother and Laila, went out to lunch with mom, Laila and my aunt, did a ton more cleaning, played and played with my one year old. She was SO pooped out, and is already in bed and has been since 6:45. I think it was the cupcake and Red Velvet Ice Cream and not only did she get it ALL over her, she smothered my face in it while we were trying to take pictures. She seriously is THE best ever.

Lately, Laila has been showing me how smart she is. She is starting to repeat everything you do. She wipes her mouth after eating, puts toys away, she even repeated "you did it" just like the show she was watching. I tip-toed into her room last night to find her awake and playing, so I brought her into bed to get some snuggle time in and attempt to read a book. Instead, we just lied there and guess what she did?? She continuously rubbed my forehead and hair back, just like I do to her. I am so amazed at how much she has grown in the last year.

I look back at the times she was just born, holding her for the first time, kissing her, smelling her and telling her how much I love her and how happy I was she was finally here. I remember everything. the labor and delivery, the overflow of emotions that took over my body. I remember leaving the hospital and bringing her home for the first time and all the sudden I was stressed. Not because I just had a baby, but because I had to put too much stuff away that was taken and received at the hospital. No matter how tired, stressed or wondering "why am I crying about this stupid crock pot I can't put away" (yes, I did cry over a crock pot) I was still overly grateful to have a healthy, happy baby-family. Everything is still so fresh in my mind and I love remembering it all but I look forward to all the other milestones, her 2nd birthday, 3rd, 4th, the day she learns to tie her shoes, ride a bike,the day she gets married, has kids, everything.

I'm so proud to be her mama and I'm so in love with her. Happy 1st Birthday, Laila. Mama loves you, to the moon and back and back again.

(how's that for short and sweet, :P)

convertible carseat hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:29:00 +0000

Laila has been in her infant carseat for almost a year now and it's definitely time that we switch her on over to a convertible carseat. But finding the right convertible carseat has not been as easy as I thought.

I want something super safe, comfortable, something that will accomdate her as she grows and something not to ugly. Oh, and one that won't break my pockets. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently, for me, it is because I just cannot find the perfect one. Scratch that, I did find the perfect one, Graco Smart Seat All-in-One, linky here. Unfortunately, $300 isn't in our budget at this time, especially around the holidays. But, this morning, I noticed it was on sale for $239.99. Better, but still more than what I wanted to spend.

Then there is this one, Graco My Ride 65 and I have heard lovely things about it. Everyone seems to rav how awesome it is, and one of the biggest things I loved, it was for rear-facing or forward-facing. To me, that is very important because I want Laila to stay rear-facing as long as her little legs can handle it. I've heard during the summer the seat can get very warm, it's just not breathy enough. Does that make sense? Some also say once you face it forward, it tilts too far back causing they're child to constantly try to sit up. Also, I'm not sold on the pattern and have seen others elsewhere and for a little less money.

Next up, Graco Nautiuls Three-in-One. Seems SO incredibly safe it's undelievable, biggest down-fall for me, it's only forward-facing. I do like that she could go in it now and then when she gets old enough, it's also the booster seat for her. The price also doesn't break our pockets.

Have you noticed a pattern here? All of these convertible carseats are by Graco. What can I say?! I love Graco! Anyone have any recommendations on convertible carseats?! Help me out!!

30 Days of Thanks: Days 15-23

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:59:00 +0000

Can you believe it?! Thanksgiving is tommorrow and I couldn't be more excited. I am so ready to surround myself with family, homemade recipes and laughter. AND my daughter's birthday is NEXT Wednesday!

Day 15: Coffee, I cannot function without it. Coffee keeps me sane and is the reason I can function on a day to day basis. Whether it be coffee I make at home, Starbucks or my new favorite, Dunn Brothers, I love it all. Thanks coffee!!

Day 16: Hot water, If I wasn't able to run a hot shower or bath, I would be pretty freaking miserable and super cranky. Hot showers are one of my favorite parts of the day and after Laila goes to bed, I enjoy just sitting in the water and thinking about anything and everything.

Day 17: Leah, my sister who lives all the way in Ohio..ok ok, it's not that far away. I miss my sister every single day and I hate not being able to see her as often. I just long for that siterly-bond/sercret-sharing that I see going on with other sisters and wish her and I could spend more time together. She's amazing, kind, and such a hard worker.

Day 18: Foodgawker, feed your eyes! Ah, why oh why must I love this site so much?! Because it has delicious recipes right in front of my face. :] Sometimes, I can't help it if I drool all over the place.

Day 19: Thanksgiving, an amazing time of the year where you can surrond yourself with family and be thankful for everything you have. Although, you should be thankful everyday.

Day 20: My camera, which goes along with pictues. If I didn't have my camera, I wouldn't be able to take pictures. I wouldn't be able to capture those beautiful, sad, mad and exciting moments that happen throughout everyones life. I'm hoping to use my camera to share other peoples moments with them, in time.

Day 21: Sunshine. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. La de da de da. I love the sun and the sun keeps me in a good mood. I can get very depressed if I go days without sunshine. So winter can be especially hard on me. I'm hoping this year isn't too bad. : /

Day 22: Comfortable clothing. I have so sense of fashion, haha. I wear what feels comfortable and what I look good in. And most days, that's usually just jeans and a hoodie. So boring but it's what makes me feel comfortable. Not going to lie, I definitely need to step out of my bubble and try new things out!

Day 23: Every single family member I have. I mentioned that I am thankful for my mom, dad, aunt, and sister but what about all the other family members I have? I'm thankful for every single one of them because every single one of them accepted me into their lives when I was adopted, every single one of them watched me struggle growing up and every single one of them helped me overcome my hardships. How could I not be thankful for such an amazing family?!

christmas meme - join in!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:05:00 +0000

Jess from IROCKSOWHAT posted this Christmas Meme on her blog and I wanted in on the fun. Everyone should do this :]

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I absolutley hate egg nog, so hot chocolate it is

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? he has the elves do them, silly.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I prefer white with colorful ornaments on a tree. On my house, color!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? never have, maybe this year I will ;)

5. When do you put your decorations up? our tree is already up :] thank you to the guy from CL who sold it to us!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? um, pie. no doubt!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? all of the kids would head over to my grandma and grandpa's house and bake/decorate a crap ton of cookies and take our own home! we've done this every year and this year, i'll still be joining in.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? can't remember. i'm guessing my parents just decided to tell me.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? use to all the time..

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? well this year we bought the tree pre-lit with white lights and pinecones and I just finished a pinterest project and made my own ornaments. hopefully it looks nice

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? if I can sit inside with some slippers, sweatpants on and some coffee, then I love snow. If I have to go outside and drive in it (if it's bad) then I hate it!

12. Can you ice skate? pft, when I was younger, now I'm sure i'll just fall on my arse.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Laila was born a month before Christmas and I'm pretty sure that was the best gift ever, awww :]

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? spending quality time with family and lots of delicious food

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pie and all sorts of pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? baking and decorating cookies @ my grandma and grandpas house with all the other kids.

17. What tops your tree? A star.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? hate both. I suck at giving gifts and I hate when people watch me open mine, I just feel so akward. But this year, I'm pretty excited about giving because i'll be making a lot of cakes in a jar

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? yum but I mostly use them for decoration

20. Favorite Christmas show? Elf, Santa Claus (all) and pretty much everything else that is Christmas

21. Saddest Christmas Song? Silent Night

22. What is your favorite Christmas song? I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

All About Laila: 11 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 19:43:00 +0000

Dear Laila,

This is only the second letter I've wrote you, one at birth and now this one, closer to your 1st birthday. Can you believe that in only 2 weeks, you're going to be one?! I can't because just yesterday, I was cradling you in my arms and singing a lullaby to you. I remember the day you were born, I was lucky and had a fast and easy delivery. You were so eager to come out and once you did, you cried, the most beautiful sound ever. You were placed on my chest and I couldn't stop crying and saying "I love you" over and over again. And since that day, you have grown up right before my eyes.

You no longer sleep in bed with us, or need me to hold your bottle, you love to do everything yourself and are so independent, it scares me. But there are still days where you want to sit on my lap all day long and cuddle. I love those days. I miss having you sleep right next to me though, the warmth of your body, listening to you breath and guess what?! Sometimes, you even snore. But, I can still hear all of that on the monitor.

Your appetite seems to be getting bigger everyday, all you want to do is eat. You aren't a fan of eggs (anymore) avocado, carrots (depending on how they're cooked) and some other items, like fruit. The only fruit I can get you to eat all the time is a banana. You totally love those things. Pretty soon you'll be on whole milk, woohoo! You hate your formula, anyways.

You've been going to bed around 7-7:30 for a while now and usually wake up around 6:30. I enjoy spending my mornings with you, lounging in our pajamas with the sun beaming in through the window. It's always a great morning. I miss taking you for walks but it's to cold for that, and I really think you miss it too. You are SUCH an outside ~~baby~~ toddler.

You wave bye-bye to everyone except me. I think you are just too smart and know that I'll be right back. You love strangers, is that weird and when did that happen? I remember the days you would scream if someone looked at you that you didn't even know. But now, you love when random people talk to you. You even wave bye-bye to them. You also clap, all.the.time, especially in the bathtub.

You also have some awesome moves and love to dance with me when there is music on. You're walking now, and have been since 10ish months. I love seeing you walk everywhere or even run. Although, seeing you run just scares me because you tend to fall a lot. Have to work on that balance a little more. Once walking came along, a few more bumps and bruises also came. But, you picked yourself right back up and continued to walk. You don't give up!

You have come to love the dog, Mykenzie. You give her hugs, pet her, pull her tail, play with her water and food and Mykenzie's favorite, you feed her!! I hope you continue to love animals as you get older.

Last weekend, you spent your first couple nights away from me but I don't even think you noticed, haha. You did awesome. I think I had the most trouble being away from you. I felt weird being so far, not able to give you a hug or kiss whenever I wanted but you and I talked on the phone a lot, that was nice!!

Speaking of talking, you still say the same words that you've been saying. One word you did pick up is puppy! You still love to read books and will sit and read them to me instead of the other way around. You have learned how to open the cabinets so it's time for us to lock those suckers up. You enjoy doing laps around the house, pulling on the gate, looking out the window, and the best - giving hugs.

I'm so proud of everything you have accomplished and I am so excited to watch you grow into this beautiful girl. Just don't grow too fast, mama isn't ready. Mama loves you, to the moon and back and back again.

30 Days of Thanks: Days 11-14

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 19:19:00 +0000

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. Ours involved paint samples, ripping up carpet, leaves, and sunshine and some talk about putting up and knocking down walls. Having a home makes my mind wander in all sorts of directions.

But, back to thanks.

Pictures and lots of them. Pictures are a great way to capture a very special, sad, mad, exciting moment and there something you can hold onto forever, even if that memory of the day starts to fade away. I often find myself looking back at my old pictures of when I was 5, 10, 15 and being so thankful to have these pictures. And that's exactly what I want Laila to do, to look back and be thankful to have all these pictures of her life growing up.

Naps. Who doesn't love a good nap? I sure do and to be honest, I never get to take a nap anymore. If/when Laila naps, I stay awake because that's time that I have to myself to get things done around the house or even just sit and read a good book, or enjoy a good workout. But, when I actually do give in and take a nap, I almost never regret it because I feel oh so wonderful afterwards.

Disney Junior Yes my child does watch Disney Junior on the Disney channel in the morning. She loves to watch Little Einsteins, that pirate show and some other ones. No, she doesn't sit there all morning, staring at the tv but she does enjoy what she is watching so why not let her?

Pinterest I can't get enough of Pinterest and it really inspires me to bring out my crafty side. Over the weekend, I even managed to make some of my own ornaments that I saw on YoungHouseLove, who pinned them with the oh so awesome, Pinterest.

There you have it, the last 4 days of what I'm thankful for.

30 Days of Thanks: Days 9 & 10

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 20:40:00 +0000

I'm greatful for a TON of things, some important and some not that important at all and certainly, things that I could live without.

Food: Our bodies need food and water to survive and I hate knowing that there are a million people out there that don't get to eat. I feel horrible when I throw a bunch of food away or let it go to waste, because that food could definitely go to someone else. Sometimes, I just have to realize how much I have, and how little some people have. If I could help everyone, I could. But, I'm not superwomen. I'm thankful for food every.single.day

Coca-Cola: Totally lame but I am a Coca-Cola addict and I am so thankful for that soda. That's all I have to say about that... Lame, right? Yes, I know...

taking a second...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:59:00 +0000

...to pray for the families of loved ones that were injured/killed in a horrible accident that took place Wednesday at 9 a.m, involving 2 semis and 6 other cars.

And even though I do not know a single person that was involved, I do have friends that knew someone and it breaks my heart that something SO tragic can happen.

Please be safe while driving! & Stay tuned for Days 9 & 10 of 30 Days of Thanks

Wordless{ish} Wednesday V.1

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:25:00 +0000

I was suppose to be back today with my All About Laila: 11 Months but instead I'm participating in Wordless Wednesday for the first time ever, I think.

And look what we have here, our first snowfall of the season. This makes me pretty excited. It means Christmas is coming up soon and I just love Christmas. The snow, the fresh smell of apple pies, Christmas trees, Christmas decor, lovely scented candles. It's just too darn breathtaking not to love.

Luckily, none of the snow is sticking because I definitely need new tires this year!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 8

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:47:00 +0000

I promised I would be back today for my 30 Days of Thanks with Day 8 and here I am.

Day 8: Buying a home was a very very stressful situation for Justin and I. We got approved, looked at a few houses and fell in love with the one we currently live in. But, buying a home goes much deeper than that. There's money involved and a lot of it, and that scared the both of us. At the time, we weren't sure what we were getting ourselves into when we realized all the money that would have to come out of our pocket. But luckily, it wasn't too bad and at the end of the day, we are SO glad to be here, in our home and I don't regret anything. Were just hoping we can create many memories, traditions, and special moments here that we'll remember and cherish for the rest of our lives. And it was very important to us, that Laila would have a place to call home. I'm very thankful that everything worked out and we live in an amazing home, even if there were a couple speed bumps along the way.

Check back tomorrow and hopefully I'll have All About Laila: 11 Months up. YES, that means my daughter is turning ONE in a a couple of weeks. Someone, please stop time, just for a little while. Pretty please?

My trip to Ohio

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:13:00 +0000

My trip to Ohio was amazing, I had a blast spending time with my sister and her fiance, Matt and a couple of her friends. But to say I was excited to come home is definitely an understatement. Because, well, I missed my daughter more than I ever thought I could.

I stayed home all day on Friday to spend as much time with Laila as I could. I just wanted to be with her before I had to leave. We cleaned, played, napped, danced, sang, did some more cleaning, Laila helped with laundry and by helped, I mean, Laila throwed the folded clothes around the living room. I even ~~patiently~~ waited for her early birthday present to show up. And alas, it did, 2 hours before I had to leave to head to the airport. Woohoo!

And look, here she is, sitting like a big girl in her chair, which was her early birthday present. She loves that chair. If anybody is wondering which one it is Harmony Kids Rocker in Light Pink Dot, they have other color options as well but Justin and I both agreed on this one. And it's sooo soft.

When it came time to heading to the airport, I got real nervous and sweaty. It's not that I'm afraid to fly because I love taking off and landing, I was just nervous to leave behind my daughter. And for a second, I even thought I was going to miss my flight because traffic on the way there was HORRIBLE. We drove for probably 20 minutes doing 20 mph. It sucked. By the time we got there, I said my cya laters and gave a ton of kisses. I was bummed Justin and Laila weren't able to come in and spend time with me before I headed to security but we didn't think there would be time. :[

I didn't cry when I said cya later. It wasn't until I was sitting at my gate when tears showed up. I was bummed and kind of regretted not bringing Laila with me...at that time. But once I landed, my sister and Matt picked me up at the airport around 9ish and we had a late dinner and laughed our butts off watching Bridesmaids. Best movie ever.

Saturday was filled with dress shopping for us bridesmaids and that was stressful. The first place had nothing, except some complimentary water, and the second place was way too expensive. So we hit up Davids Bridal and we all found a dress, the same dress in the same color. It's a beautiful dress. After that stressfulness was over and done with, we hit up a Japanese Restaurant called Otanis for my sisters 26th birthday! YUM.

The rest of the evening was filled with way too many Vanilla Vodka + Pineapple juice, Irish Car Bombs, Jameson, Beer, and some other weird drink that I couldn't even name. A nightclub that made my heart feel like it was about to jump out, and late night drunk pizza. I wasn't expecting to drink as much as I did but it happened and it rarely happens. I almost NEVER have a drink in my hand. Last time I drank was my 21st birthday and that was almost 4 months ago, it's really just not my cup of tea and I definitely prefer to be sober. But overall, I had an amazing night, even if I don't remember even going to bed! *sigh*

And even though I stayed up till 3 am, my butt was up at 7 am. It's out of pure habit since Laila is an early riser. I had to take medicine, drink a ton of water, and force myself to go back to sleep. It was a rough morning but nothing french toast can't fix...until it makes you sick on the way to the airport and you have to shyly ask to stop somewhere to use the bathroom. TMI, so sorry.

And, I made it home in one piece and I was so excited to see Laila and Justin. Laila looked like she got bigger while I was gone...can that even happen??!!

It's so nice to be home with my little family but at the same time, I miss being with my sister and hanging out. Not to mention, it was soo nice to sleep in and have some freedom. Gosh, that makes me sound horrible.

&; sorry, I didn't take a single picture what I was gone. The only one I have is of my sister and I, drunk. Not to sure if I want to share that picture...

I'll be back a little later with my Day 8 of Thanks!

30 Days of Thanks: Days 1-7

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:05:00 +0000

November is a beautiful month. Filled with leaves falling over the trees, crisp air, delicious food and tons of much needed family time. November is also a special month because it's the month I welcomed my daughter into this world. The 30th, to be exact.

So I've decided to do write down everything I am thankful for, all in 30 days. And since this is a week late, I'll be writing 7 things I'm thankful for..

Day 1: My daughter, Laila Rayne. The most precious, beautiful, sweet, loving, joyful little girl. It's so hard to describe what she means to be because every time I try, a little tear trickles down my cheek. I never knew my heart could ever feel such an immense love for such a little child.

Day 2: My fiance, Justin. The one that's there to let me cry on his shoulder, who gives me strength, who knows exactly how to make me feel better, the man who makes the.best.food.ever, the one that doesn't care that I still act like a kid sometimes. My rock, my soul mate.

Day 3: My job. This may seem lame but I love my job, even though it's a desk job. Every one there is and has been so supportive through out the years that I've been there. Yes, I've had hard times there and yes, I've cried on more than one occasion. But, my job means a lot to me. My job (as well as Justin's) helps support my family. And that's very important to me.

Day 4: My mom and dad. These two are the best. I don't know where I would be without them, literally. They took me in when I was 5 years old because my biological parents couldn't take care of myself and siblings. The feed me and gave me clothes and most importantly, they loved me. I've had horrible horrible times with them and I've said some pretty hateful things but at the end of the day, they were the ones that still loved me and supported me. If they hadn't picked me, I don't know where I would to today and for that, I love them a ton.

Day 5: My best friend, Laura. I've known Laura since freshman year of high school, over 5+ years ago. She knows everything about me, I tell her my secrets and the things I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone else about. This girl is amazing, my best friend.

Day 6: My aunt, Sherry. I love my aunt, so so much. She has always been there for me, especially when I was having troubles with my parents. She bought a bed and would buy food for her house and let me stay there every Friday night to have time away from my parents. This was always a re-fresher and felt nice to get away for a little while, even if she lived right next door, lol. Now, we still hangout all the time. My Saturdays usually consist of Laila and I bumming around with her. It's always a great time, no matter what we do.

Day 7: My blog. I don't blog much, mainly because I just can't find the time. I have so much other stuff to do with my job, my home, my daughter, myself. And sometimes, I just don't want to feel like I have to blog. I blog because it's nice to jot down what we did over the weekend or a fun milestone that Laila did. But I definitely don't make my blog a priority and I'm honestly fine with that. But just knowing that I have a blog and can write what ever I want, makes me feel good.

So...there you have. Seven days of what I am thankful for. I'll be ~~hopefully~~ back every day to make a note of what I am thankful for. I've even thought of doing a "Thankful Jar" at the house. But who knows if Justin would be on board or even remember! Haha

What are you thankful for this November?

I'll be leaving but coming back..

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:24:00 +0000

My heart is breaking at this very moment...

On Friday, I leave my daughter for the very first time and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I won't be seeing her till Sunday and who knows what time. I won't be the one bathing her, putting her in her snuggly pajamas and reading her a bedtime story. I won't be able to give her a kiss and a hug, say sweet dreams and kiss her some more. I won't be able to listen to the sound of her fan and breathing over the monitor, the wonderful sound that I fall asleep to every night. I won't be able to sneak in her room and check on her in the middle of the night after a bathroom break. I won't be the one getting up with her, watch cartoons, eat breakfast and play. I won't be able to be with my baby till Sunday and I'm struggling with this.

Maybe I should get to the point of WHY I won't be seeing her. I'm going to Ohio to visit my sister, Leah. I'm stoked to see her since I don't see her that often but at the same time, my heart breaks because I've never been away from Laila...especially overnight.

Justin and I debated back and fourth on me taking her along but the end result was a no :[ I'm terrified to have her fly on a plane..I have this mindset that something is going to go wrong...I feel more comfortable with her staying home with her daddy. Plus, he really wants alone time with her.

I don't know how I'm going to make it...I'm going to cry while I wave bye bye to her :[ It's natural for me. Have I mentioned I cry, like a lot?? Especially lately...

I'm teaching Justin how to Skype before I leave, that's a must because I will NEED to see her somehow and what better way than Skype?! I wish leaving for a couple days would be easier but I just have to remember that I will be back and I'll get to see her smile and laugh all over again.

And of course, what's a post without a picture? Here she is. ALMOST one :]

Pumpkin Patch

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:41:00 +0000

Last week (or 2 weeks ago) Justin, Laila and I visited a local Pumpkin Patch. We went just to grab some pictures and watch Laila have a good time. We didn't need to buy any pumpkins this year because my parents grew there own and were kind enough to hand over three to us. So nice of them. Enjoy the over load of pictures :]

This day was overall AWESOME and Laila had a blast, which was the point of going. We did buy her a minature pumpkin, which she just wanted to eat. Sooo..it's now being used for decoration. Haha. I can't wait to go there during winter and see the Christmas trees. I'm not into the real ones because the tend to give me hives. But it'll be awesome to see this place all decorated with Christmas decor. Ah, I cannot wait.

Photography

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:42:00 +0000

Photography never use to be a passion of mine, in fact, I never really cared to take a single picture. I'd snap photos here and there of random things going on in my life but didn't give photography a second thought.

Then I got pregnant, and then Laila was born, and oh my gosh, I knew I had to get a DSLR and capture every breath taking moment of my daughters life. I eventaully got one when she was maybe a month or two old.

My camera scared me, intrigued me, I wanted to learn more but at the same time, I was afraid to use it. What if I managed to break it, afterall, I am clumsy.

Anyways, there is always this huge huge part of me that wants to venture out with my camera and become something more, something greater with it. Maybe start a business? I always tell Justin, "I wish I could be a pro photographer and stay home"

I highly doubt I will ever get there because I am not that great! I try to read up but finding the time can be HARD. Ah, excuses are lame.

To help me learn, I started taking the Proud Photography Course. I originally saw it on DPS.com (which is an awesome sight, thanks Sonya!) I wanted to learn more and I love anything online. Buuttttt, I am only on lesson 1 and I joined MONTHS ago, I just haven't had the time. But now, you bet your butt, I am going to get learning with that class. And so far, I do love it. The site it easy to use and it's very informative. I just have to stick to my plan and finish it, especially since I did pay for it!

Lets hope I can stick to this, because I have a love for photography. I want to capture those beautiful moments in my life, in others lives. I just need to start small and stick to my class, oh, and get out there and take pictures!!

**I was not paid or perked in any way to talk about the Proud Photograhy Course**

Body Issues

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:18:00 +0000

I'm in such a crappy mood with my weight. I hate the number I see on the scale, I hate the way my body looks. I feel unhealthy and disgusting. There is no such thing as confidence in my world, that all went out the window. And I don't blame it on pregnancy at all. It was my choice to eat the foods I did, to sit on my arse and be lazy.

Ya, I would diet and workout for a while but then all motivation disappeared. I was tired of working out and restricting myself. yada yada yada. But now, I regret it all because I feel like a big pile of mush. I have no self control, I don't know correctly, what's good and bad. Yes, eat veggies, fruits, and lean meats instead of sweets. I know that.

Currently, I have P90X, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shread, and Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones.

Tell me, what are your favorite healthy recipes, workouts, tips, motivational stuff? I could use all the help.

Good thing Pinterest is amazing!

Here are some of my motivational pins

Source: losing30lbsincollege.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: noskinnybitcheshere.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: get-thinspiration.tumblr.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: None via Jessica on Pinterest

I'm hoping I will have the strength, the courage, to actually get where I want to be.