Art By Stacey Ball

Hit a rough patch

2018-01-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

Hey there everyone,

As some of you are aware, my former job closed unexpectedly New Year’s Day, leaving myself, my co-workers and many customers heart broken, angry and confused. After the anger subsided, and I thought over an opportunity that was offered to me, I knew that I wanted to peruse it. I decided I wanted to purchase the assets from my old job and open my own painting studio.

The past couple of weeks I’ve been dedicated to pursuing this dream. From blogging, to posting YouTube videos and handing out postcards, I have been dedicated! It’s almost been a month since the studio closed and I’m missing my job more than I ever thought I would. I really want to get back to working at a painting studio again. One that will be my own. One where I can call the shots and make the decisions. Where I don’t have to wait for a yes or no on a final decision. I miss teaching people how to paint.

Last week I was making great headway. I created a GoFundMe to help me raise money to purchase the assists, at least the down payment. With this decision coming so suddenly, and I wasn’t planning on purchasing and starting my own painting studio, that’s the reason I started a GoFundMe. Last week donations were coming in and it was so cool to see people supporting my dream. But, this week, I’ve hit a snag. Donations have come to a halt and it makes me nervous.

I’ve been second guessing myself on if this is the right decision. My broker sent me a list of spaces way out of my budget or in bad neighborhoods. Which made me upset and I started thinking, am I really making the right decision?

When my broker called me to clarify some info, and to tell me what would be happening going forward, he put me at ease. You see, my broker, I had worked with him in the past and he works with the landlords now. Being the nice guy that he is, he sent me that list as a starting point. He also referred me to another broker that will have the time to help me moving forward.

After that phone call, I felt much better and realized how silly I was and that I am making the right decision. I wouldn’t be going business to business handing out flyers, or posting live videos of myself on the internet or asking my former co-workers help me out with spreading the word if I wasn’t serious about this. So, I am still fighting for what I want. I am still looking for help financially, so if you would like to donate and help me get one step closer to my dream, here is a link.

Many customers and my co-workers will be so excited once my goal is met.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more updates. A Bob Ross themed bake sale is in the works and I can’t wait to share more!

Making Some Headway

2018-01-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

Hey there everyone.

So in my last post I talked about my job being taken away suddenly, with the owners of the Wine and Painting Studio I worked at deciding to close the doors suddenly, without giving myself and the rest of the staff any warning.

I also talked about being given the opportunity to purchase the assets to the studio and open doors again. Only I have to find a new location and come up with a new name. I have decided on a name, Stickman Painting Studio, I'm still working on a location though.

I'm also still working on generating the funds to do so. Last week I started a GoFundMe to help with purchasing the assets to the studio. Raising this money will also help me with obtaining a loan from the bank to help with the other financials that come with starting a business. It looks good to have funds already when you are looking for money. I'm excited to say, I've raised $445 of the $5000 I am asking for. More than I thought I'd have at this time. I am grateful and feel so blessed to those who have donated money to help me with one of my dreams.

I am still in need of more though. It's always been difficult for me to ask for money. But it will go to great use. Myself and a few of my old staff members will be running and working the new studio, plus, many of our older customers are waiting to hear news on what's going on. They were also blindsided by the studio closing the way it did, and are waiting to hear what will be happening. I am very optimistic that I will open, I just need some help getting there.

You can check out the link here for my GoFundMe. My GoFundMe has more information on the studio closing and such. You can also read more from another blog post here. If you have any questions, you can also leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading and I hope this sparked your interest!

Stacey

Looking for some big help

2018-01-21T19:33:00.000-08:00

Hi there everyone,

I know I've been away for quite some time. I will be honest, I try to maintain my blog, but tend to forget about it! I know that's a horrible excuse, but its true. Having been gone for a while, and the post I am about to write, forgive me if it seems insensitive or like I'm asking for a handout. That is not my intent. And If I do offend you in any way, I am apologizing now.

So, here it goes...

As some of you may be aware, I had been working at a wine and painting studio for over four years. I used the past tense, and I will get to that in a minute. Before this job, I was more involved in my personal art. And I still create my own works, but after I got this job, I became so passionate about it, it did take over and my personal art did get put on the sidelines. Even through some personal issues and health issues I've struggled with the past couple years, my job was always a priority because of my passion for what I did.

I am still passionate about it, only, my job was taken away from me. New Year's Eve, it was business as usual. Then, New Year's Day, the former owners met me and my co-workers for brunch to tell us they were permanently closing the doors and the business next door took over the lease.

We were crushed. Devastated. Angry.

I had dedicated over four years of my life to this place, only to have the rug pulled out from under me and have a big part of my life taken away. I loved teaching people how to paint. The joy on their faces when they painted something they never thought they'd be able to. To see their expressions when what they were learning clicked, and they were proud and excited of what they were doing.

At that moment when I was told I no longer had a job. I thought, what was I going to do now? Where would I find a job even comparable to this one? During that brunch, I became very quiet. I didn't say much, which is what I do when I am very upset.

At some point during that meeting, my former bosses mentioned buying the assets to PaintBar. That's the name of my old work. Me being me. I was too angry to consider it at first. But the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. The next day, I did meet with my old bosses to go over the financials of the business and what I would need to do in order to purchase the assets from them. After the meeting, and thinking about everything that was said and the info that was given to me, I decided I did want to do this. I wanted to be the owner of my own painting studio.

Looking back over the past year, I should have seen what happened coming. But I was in denial and loved my job too much to let it go. My bosses became non existent and pretty much had me running the show. Looking back at it. It was great experience for me. Because it gave me the knowledge I need to do this on my own. The only thing is, the financial situation is the difficult part.

This is where you hopefully come in. I'm not asking for much, but I would appreciate your help by donating to my GoFundMe. With your help, I know I can get there and get the down payment I need to move forward with what I need to do to make this business mine.

Here is a link to my GoFundMe. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I hope you will check my GoFundMe out. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or I believe you can contact me through GoFundMe as well.

MIA, but now I'm back

2016-09-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hey there my creative followers. I know I've been on hiatus for quite some time, but I wanted to let you know I'm back and I'll be posting more regularly again😊

Stay tuned for more creative posts!

New School Year. New Beginnings

2013-09-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers.

It has yet again been a while. Summer, like always, flew by and the crispness of Fall is in the air.

It has been an interesting time since I last posted. I have been living life. Having new adventures. Had my heart broken a couple times. Made new friends. Writing. Painting. Drawing. Art shows. But for the most part, life is good. I have another part time job. I am still at the After School program, but I started another job two weeks ago. I am a teacher at a wine and painting bar. I don't know if you have heard of these places, but you can come, learn how to create a painting and have a drink while doing it. No experience necessary for those who want to try.

I am having a ball at this job. I love my new bosses. A couple owns this place. It's called Arte Wine and Painting Studio. Here is a link to the website. With this new job. Once the new location I'm at is fully up and running, I can finally say goodbye to unemployment. Woohoo!

Here's to another year of new adventures. Cheers!

Happiness, yes?

2013-02-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovely readers,

As I wrote in my last post, and apparently I posted a similar one a few months back, but forgot about, I was let go from my full time job.

I still have a part time job at an after school program and love it. It is a nice break in my day. School age kids are so much fun. They keep that childhood innocence and belief that anything is possible close to my heart. Yesterday at work, the site supervisor, who is also a fellow artist, said to me, "You seem different. You seem a lot happier."

He knew I lost my job and no one had said that to me since I lost it. I looked at him and smiled. I didn't even stutter when I replied, "I truly am. Sometimes money is short, but I don't care. I haven't been this happy in a long time."

What was so great and is so great, is it's true. I feel like myself again. I love getting up everyday and seeing what challenges there are going to be. Each day is different. Whether I'm writing, painting or drawing. The freedom I have and feel is indescribable. Yes, I have to be harder on myself to work towards self employment, but in reality, although it is hard work, it's work I enjoy.

I go to bed every night, exhausted, but wake up ready to go.

To those dreamers out there, some advice to you. If you feel that itch towards something, don't shy away for it. Those feelings are there for a reason. Give it a shot. I'm not saying quit whatever is going on in your life right now, but allow that passion into your life. Life's too short.

I'm a believer in no regrets, so, whatever happened in the past was meant to be. Move forward and trust your gut.

It's been a while. Many changes have been occuring

2013-01-31T14:03:00.001-08:00

Hello my lovely readers.

I want to apologize for my very lengthy absence. Many things have happened since I last wrote and I've been trying to figure many things out.

First, In September, after over five years of service, I was let go from my job. It was a horrible feeling realizing you're only a number and a paycheck. I don't want to go into all the details, but one thing I have come to realize since that emotionally tramatizing day, was that's the best thing that could have happened to me.

For the past couple years I have been playing with the idea of leaving that place, but do to fear of not knowing where money would come from and if I could support myself with out it, I kept waiting for the right time. I think, after over two years of being a broken record, the Universe had enough of my complaining and took the situation into its own hands.

Since that day, I have stayed at my part time job, but have focused my energy on my art and writing. My art business is really starting to grow, now that I have so much time to devote to it and my writing, I am seeing many milestones in my novel and am getting closer to completing it. It took me three years to write my first draft and in about two months, I've gotten halfway through my second draft revisions! So, summer is my goal to be completely done and I believe it will happen!

Continuing with my art, I am beginning to have sales on Etsy and I have work currently on display locally! So, If you are in the SE Wisconsin area, go check it out at Rox Bar and Grille:-) Click here

Another thing I am excited to announce, is I will be starting to teach drawing classes come February! Click here to learn more!

So, now that I my bearings are back in order and the funk of losing my job is gone, I will be keeping you updated on how my journey into becoming a full time artist is going:-)

The Next Chapter

2012-10-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers.

I don't know if you all know this, but I worked full time. Yes, I had a day job. And, for the longest time, I've been saying to myself, Stacey, one day you'll be able to quit your job and work full time as a fine artist. Well, when you talk about something long enough, the Universe listens. I was blindsided this past Friday. I was let go from my "day job." I was speechless. There was no indication that they wanted to let me go until then. I didn't know what to say in the tiny meeting room with my boss and HR. They told me that there wasn't enough work to keep my position anymore. As I sat, dumbfounded, trying to keep it together, the small room felt even more so as my boss carried on.

It's a strange thing being fired, or as they said, "let go." For, I've never been "let go" before. I always left on my terms. But, it can happen to the best of us and I am looking at this as something positive.

Do I know where I'm headed. No. Do I know what everyday will bring. No. Do I know when I'll have a steady income again. No. But, this is where the adventure begins. I know I will be tested beyond measure.

I will become frustrated. I will break at times. But I am strong. I will be able to fix myself, become even stronger and push forward.

I believe that the true, full me is going to completely shine during this time. She has been showing herself more every day, but now, with my security blanket gone, she will be making her full and complete debut. I'm excited for this.

As for a job. The responsible me. Or more so, the part of me that heard, I need a steady job, says, look for one.

But, the real me that's been hiding and revealing herself more and more, she says, NO! Give this hidden blessing the time it needs to grow.

So, that's what I'm going to do. I am going to take some time to continue discovering who I am and allowing that part of me to shine. All the great people in this world didn't become so by being safe. I don't want to be safe anymore. I want to join the club with all the "great" people.

August, Where did you go?

2012-09-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you are wondering the same thing, where the heck did August go? Wasn't it the 1st just the other day? Summers always seem to fly by in a flash. Fall is just around the corner and as much as I love fall, that means I will have to put my flip flops and other sandals away in the next month :(

With September here, as much as I don't want summer to get closer to ending, I am looking forward to this month. The main reason is, I will be drawing live on the 8th! Yes, I will be setting up my easel outside a shop and will be creating in front of a live audience! I have done this in the past and the energy that arises from doing something like this, there isn't anything like it.

The last time I did this was back in October. You can read more about it here:

So, stay tuned for more details! If you are in the area, I will list the location, so stop on by! I will be participating in a block party type event and other artists will be setup just like me:) Here is a link to the event. It looks like a lot of fun! I will be drawing from 11-2. Click here

Next Show, 8/4!

2012-07-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have another art show coming up! See below for details:-)

Gallery Night!

2012-07-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

I am super excited to announce that I will be participating in Milwaukee's Gallery Night! If you live in the area, stop on by!

Busy Busy Busy!!!!!

2012-06-19T09:28:00.002-07:00

Hello my fab readers!

I am so excited! I have been super busy. Busy drawing and getting ready for some shows and a gallery opening I have coming up next month!

It has been amazing to see things falling into place the way they have. Although, this didn't just happen over night. I have been working almost nonstop since last January to get myself known in the art world. So, for you fellow artisans, if you feel like you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, don't give up! Never ever give up! You're time will come and I have found it's in those darkest moments, those moments that you just want to give up and think to yourself, what's the point, to just keep going and push yourself. It's in those moments of darkness that the most beautiful flowers begin to bloom in yourself and the world around you. You begin to live and feel things you never thought were possible.

You might not see them right away, but those flowers are their, under the soil, ready to pop!

To the left is a piece that will be on display at the gallery starting July 27th. I'm still waiting to hear back on how long the show will be up for, but this is very exciting!

Once I have all the details I will let you know.

But, the following day, the 28th, I will be participating in an art show! Talk about a busy weekend! If you'd like to learn more about this event, click here for all the details!

Have an expressive day!
Stacey

This Weekend!

2012-05-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hello my fab readers!

I apologize for being absent the past couple weeks. I have been slacking on posting my Fine Art Friday's and I apologize. But, I have a very good reason for slacking on my blog posts. I'm excited to tell you that I have been creating away, getting ready for events I have and have had this month! This past Friday (5/11) was a gallery reception, and I was and still am one of the featured artists! I spent most of April preparing for this show and am happy to announce my work will be up until the 23rd. So, if you live in the SE Wisconsin area, stop by MOCT in the third ward in Milwaukee and check them out. Click here to read more about this great event.

Also, the ambitious person that I am, I have a 3 day art show this coming weekend (18th-20th) and another next Saturday (26th) that I have been busy getting ready for. Click here to learn about this weekends event, and here for the show on the 26th.

It's exciting to see exciting things coming to fruition with my art career. This road has been a long one, and I still have a long ways to go, to get to where I want to be, but, I'm so glad I stayed on it and never gave up.

Fine Art Friday!

2012-04-27T06:19:00.002-07:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. Critique, comment, and observe the piece below.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

I'm pleased to announce that this piece has found a lovely home:-) I apologize for the picture not being the greatest quality this week, but I had to share this with all of you. I am in the process of creating limited quantity prints, so stay tuned! This piece is 12x12" and was created using graphite, colored pencil, charcoal and acrylics. I wanted to capture that lovely moment when the snow is falling and the street lights are illuminated just right, creating that perfect winter evening in the city.

Keep moving forward!

2012-04-17T20:26:00.001-07:00

Hello my lovely readers,

It's been a while since I posted something that hasn't been a "Fine Art Friday" post. I hope you are enjoying them! They have been fun to put together and I have had some good responses from you:-)

Life in my art world has been picking up the pace lately and it's exciting. Besides the weekly blog, some great things in the nonsocial media world, in the actual world where you meet and speak with people face-to-face have been occurring and manifesting. I have three art events coming up next month, and they're all three weekends in a row. So, I have my work cut out for me! I have been creating some new pieces for these shows and it's been a blast letting my creative juices flow onto paper. Once I have them all ready and prepped, I will post some.

Once the crazy month of May is over, I will fill you in on all that happens. I have a feeling some great, life changing things are going to occur, but I am doing my best to go with the flow, not get my hopes up and let what ever is going to happen, happen.

Besides the Month of May events, I have also met some great new artist friends and some new opportunities may be in the midst. Like the month of May, I will let you know more once I do. All I can say is, some great opportunities are on the horizon.

Fine Art Friday

2012-04-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. I apologize for missing last week, so below you will find two pieces. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Portrait. Distorted. Exaggerated. Pencil. Graphite. Charcoal. This piece was drawn in a library. This girl was studying and her dreadlock ponytail was very intriguing. I had to capture is crazy structure.

click here for more info

Piece 2. Pink. Architecture. Sydney. The opera house in Sydney is beautiful. This painting is an abstract version of it. Painting only in pink hues was fun.

click here for more info

Fine Art Friday

2012-03-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. I apologize for it being late this week, but below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Portrait. Distorted. Exaggerated. Pencil. Commissioned piece. This piece is a portrait of a friend. I exaggerated many of her facial features, mainly focusing on the eyes. Like many of my works, I started this piece blindly.

click here for more info

Fine Art Friday

2012-03-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. I apologize for it being late this week, but below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Black. White. Expressive. Four legged friend. Our pets are dear to our hearts. In this piece I wanted to capture my iggy''s personality and I believe I caught it perfectly. Everyone, meet Stanley.

click here for more info

Fine Art Friday

2012-03-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. Below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Black. White. Expressive. Nature. Fuzzy. This piece is part of a nature series I created. 3x3" and drawn with graphite. Makes me want spring and the nice weather to stay and never go away.

click here for more info

Fine Art Friday

2012-03-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. Below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Black. White. Expressive. Portrait. This self portrait was done with energy. Quick marks. Energetic marks. My goal was to capture my portrait in a bold way. I wanted to capture myself while I was creating, to capture that moment when an artist is in the "zone." You can see and feel the energy in the marks of the charcoal.

click here for more info

3000 views giveaway!

2012-03-06T07:48:00.001-08:00

Hello my lovely readers.

So, I am hosting my very first blog giveaway! I'm pretty excited about it. Some of my fellow Blog and Twitter friends do this quite often and they have inspired me to have my own!

I am super close to reaching 3000 blog views and in honor of that I will be giving away the lovely print below. The image is 4x4' and is printed on 8.5x11" glossy paper. It is centered and has a white border for framing. Click on the image to view the original:-)

To enter, all you have to do is one of the following. Follow my blog, follow me on Twitter or follow my Facebook page, then post below that you did!

Once I have reached the 3000 views mark, I will place everyone's name in a hat and randomly draw the winner:-) If you are the winner, I will contact you via message!

Best of luck!
Stacey

Fine Art Friday

2012-03-02T04:00:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. Below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Colorful. Fun. Fashion. Energy. I've been reading many blogs related to fashion lately and felt this piece connected with what I've been reading. Whimsey and fun. Energizing. The subject matter is all about her outfit. She is happy and carefree, which is the energy I've been receiving from reading these fashion blogs:-) Piacere. L'arte su.

click here for more info

Feeling the pull. Wanting to go in a billion directions at once.

2012-02-28T08:32:00.003-08:00

Hello my dear readers.

So, lately I have been feeling this pull. I want to work on so many things at once, that it has been hard to focus. I want to work on my writing, but while I'm writing, I wish I was drawing. While I'm drawing, I'm thinking to myself, I need to be looking into more art shows and contacting galleries to get myself out there and get noticed. When I'm doing that, well you can see the pattern here. As you know, I currently have a day job that takes up a lot of my time. I wish I could be drawing, writing or looking into more art shows during the day and I know that time will come for me and I am looking forward to the day that I can. As of now though, when I do have the time to create, it is precious and I do my best to utilize every moment, but this can be so hard! If you are a fellow artist/creative individual, how do you handle situations like this? What have you done to keep the creative harmony in your life? Image provided by google images.

Fine Art Friday

2012-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovely readers and welcome to Fine Art Friday. Below you will find the piece. Critique, comment, observe.

Please leave a link to a site or blog to lead us to another piece of work. The goal of Fine Art Friday is to make this a traveling art gallery.

Fun, Whimsey. This fun small drawing says a lot about unique. Inspired by a mirror, each circle is a tiny one. All bursting from the center mirror by metal rods.

click here for more info

When life throws you...

2012-02-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's February. It's cold. But not Frigid like it was in January. I was ecstatic for 2012 to start. Fresh beginnings, the excitement that comes with the possibilities a new year can bring. I still believe that 2012 is going to be an awesome one, but, the Universe apparently is throwing me a test. One of my goals is to keep this blog about business only. So, to tie these experiences to being a professional one, I am writing a short story about them. I haven't conquered writing about personal experiences until now. Until two people I cared about dearly, hurt me. Or, to make it sound less depressing, taught me some life learning lessons and made me grow as a person. One thing I did learn and realize from these experiences was, I am strong and I can handle almost anything. Also, these experiences made me realize, that I have many people in my life who do care about me and like me for who I am. Sometimes one can lose site of that, like I did and it can take some hurtful events to happen and make you realize that hey, their are more than just these two people in my life that do care. But, before I get ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.

My first painful, or shall I say, life growing experience happened in November. A dear friend of mine, or who I thought of as one at the time, hurt me. I now realize, looking back at how this event went down, that it was coming. But, like any relationship, even if it is just a friendship, you lose site of what's really in front of you, because you care about them so much. This friend of mine, we'd known each other for a while, but didn't become friends until about two years ago. Let me give you some back story first. We had a lot in common, she helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life and I was there for her. But, as we became closer, she began to change. Calling me at all hours of the day and night, expecting me to always be available. Leaving me angry voice messages when I didn't answer and, towards the end, saying cruel remarks like, oh, so you are finally calling me back. When I call, I expect you to answer, when I would return her call.

She eventually demanded that I answer my phone no matter when she called, stating, what if I were dying in a ditch and you didn't answer. Yes. Things got this bad, this toxic. In this friends world, my life had to revolve around her needs and wants. She only wanted to hang at her house or do things closer to her, always making up the excuse, I live too far away from her house, yet, she didn't see an issue with me traveling almost thirty miles each way to go by her. She, towards the end, wanted me to come over, almost every day, saying things like, I should just move in her spare room, then I wouldn't have to drive down by her all-the-time, even though my job is the same driving distance as if I would drive to her place from my home! I currently rent from my mom, so, moving by her wouldn't have been difficult. My relationship with my mom, without going into details, was one of the struggles she helped me through and my mom and I have a better relationship today because of her advice and suggestions. But, I would always avoid her question of when was I moving down by her? Deep down, I now believe that I knew I couldn't live with her and that, I didn't want to live with her because of her huge unhealthy demands of me.

Though now, I wonder if she only helped me through that so I could be closer to her? To be more than just a friend? I really don't know and I could be overreacting. But, to get back on track, my friend, after this event, it made me realize, no matter how hard I tried to be, enough, this person would still try to make me the perfect person they had engrained in their mind. Pushing me, forcing me to become the stepford wife in their life. Mind you, this was just a "friendship," nothing more. At least in my eyes it was.

After years of trying to make myself believe I am enough and finally, coming to terms that I am, I didn’t need that negativity and knew that letting her go was in fact, the best in the end.

A day in the beginning of November, I was suppose to head down to visit her. We had this planned for a few days, but the day of, I received an email stating that she didn't want me to come down and that she needed a break from me. I didn't understand and wanted to know why. Well, a few days later I got my answer.

I received such a horrible email from this supposed friend. The email focused mainly around her birthday and the gifts she received from me. Stating how tacky and unthoughtful they were. Saying that I was cheap and heartless, that I didn't put any thought into her gift and wondered how I spent hardly anything on her and that she could easily spend $150 on her friends. This crushed me. One of the gifts I found at The Del on Coronado Island in California. I saw it and immediately thought of her. It was a plaque that you hang on your wall. I can't remember what it said anymore, but all I remember now, was that it fit my friend perfectly. I also gave her a few other gifts. Some lip gloss, which to her, I just grabbed and put no heart into it. Though, she was always saying how she wanted better makeup. The other big gift I gave her was a Marilyn Monroe print that I spent hours on. I had the worst printer issues, that I ran out of the paper I wanted it printed on and had to compromise, giving her a smaller print until I bought more of the poster sized paper I originally wanted the print on. But, that gift, this print I spent hours creating, wasn't good enough. So, after this email from someone I thought was my friend, I wrote back, saying how dare her, defending myself and having to explain why I gave her these gifts. Why would I or should I have to explain myself? I told her that I needed space and time from her to get my thoughts together. I cried so hard after that email.

After telling some family and friends about this, they were like, what kind of friend is this? A real friend shouldn't make you feel like this. What a spoiled brat to expect you to spend more and not appreciate what you gave her. She really shouldn't expect anything and should appreciate what she does get! I had to tell them though, that this is a girl who gets $500 for her birthday from her parents and when it was late this year, she expected $1000! So yes, she is spoiled. After discussing this with friends and family, I came to the decision that I needed to end this toxic friendship. But first, I needed to get my things from her place.   All my artwork was there and a couple of other things.

Knowing my friend and how she would react to me ending this friendship. I thought it would be best to go over when she wasn't home. She had given me a set of keys to her place so I could go over whenever I wanted. But, I thought it would be best to do this without her knowing and her still thinking I just needed my space. Maybe that was childish of me. But, after months of being surrounded by her unhealthy behavior, I couldn't let her know I was going over to get my things. I just couldn't subject myself to her or her behavior anymore. This worked out perfectly for me. She had planned a month long trip out in California. So, I just waited till I knew she was 3000 miles away, then headed over and got my things. I felt so relieved once my car was packed and I drove away for the last time. But, that night, when I emailed her goodbye, I cried. From the last email I sent her, responding to her horrible one, up to the point I got my things from her place, months had gone by with no interaction. Well, none from me anyways. November-January she did attempt to get in touch, but I ignored her. I couldn't get sucked into her web of unhealthy behavior again. So, that night, after I was home from getting my stuff, I emailed her, saying goodbye and that I couldn't be friends anymore.

She responded with a short, I'm sorry this friendship has to end, and that was that. Or so I thought. A month later, I received a mean email, stating how dare I enter her house without her permission. How cowardly of me. Maybe it was cowardly and you might be thinking the same thing. Knowing my friend, it was the best way. She demanded I mail her keys back and if she didn't have them by the end of the week, she'd report me for entering her house without her permission. Even though she'd given me a set of keys. So I responded, they're in the mail and don't email me ever again. I don't need to be threatened or harassed.

After that email I sent saying goodbye, my heart did ache and sometimes, even after her mean email about the keys, it still does. But, she was a close friend and we did have many good times. When I thought I had released and let go of the energy I didn't need for the 2012 year, another event happened. One that I didn't see coming. Or, looking back, maybe I did know, but didn't want to accept it, so I avoided the reality of the matter.

My best friend. Someone I'd known for over eleven years decided to end our friendship. Since Christmas I'd been trying to get in touch with her with no response. Knowing my best friend, this was very common. She is a very busy person and sometimes it takes her a while to get back. After almost a month of no response, I started to wonder if she was okay. I began to think, is she dead? Hurt? But no. She was perfectly fine. I was on my blog the Monday after I moved everything from my other friends home to find I had lost a follower. When I went to look, I discovered it was my best friend who was gone. I thought, that's strange. So, I went onto her blog and noticed I wasn't following her anymore either. Not connecting the dots, I tried to follow her again, only to discover she had blocked me! I have no idea what happened between the two of us and I truly wished I did, but my friend, someone I've known and thought of dearly for over eleven years, ended our friendship by blocking me from her blog and not responding to my emails or phone calls!

When the reality of this situation sunk in, I cried. I couldn't believe it. Maybe she needed to release me to move forward in 2012. At least I had the decency to say goodbye to my other friend and let her know why I was ending our friendship. My supposed best friend didn't and left me in the dust without any answers. Maybe this was karma kicking me in the butt for not letting my toxic friend know I was going over to get my things. My best friend could have at least emailed me saying she needed to end this friendship. I don't think I'll ever know what happened between us. So, to have some sort of closure, I will be sending her a hand written letter. It will probably be a tad harsh, but I need to get my feelings out and say goodbye.

So, the short story will be based on these two experiences. The story has started and I am feeling such a great release. So, I will keep you posted on how that progresses and when it will be ready to be sent out.

2012 has started off shaky, but I am still standing. I feel great, confident. I have wonderful people in my life that have stood by me through all of this and know they are great friends. Like I mentioned earlier, it takes quite the experience to make you realize who your true friends are.