The Good Life

Olympics 2012

2012-08-03T12:32:00.002+01:00

OK OK, my mind has well and truly been changed about the Olympics. I am actually quite into it. Ever since the opening ceremony I was like “Yeah, alright! Let’s fuckin’ do this London!”

I have actively tried to obtain tickets to an event now that all the corporation fucktards are making it all look bad by not attending causing the ‘empty seats’ debacle. From a world’s games perspective that does look pretty bad, in fairness. Also, I still maintain that many of the events are a load of bullshit. Also, I recently discovered that some sports are so much more pointless than people are letting on from a total different standpoint. Swimming. Humans have not been engineered to be quick at swimming. Sharks are fast at swimming. DOLPHINS(!) - or ‘dorrpheenah’ for my Japanese followers (hello!!) – are fast swimmers. But humans?! No. You put a shark up against a human, 9 times out of 10 the shark will win. The one time the human wins is because the shark is disabled and gay and ginger and bad at sports and probably dead.

Furthermore, the Olympic lanes have come into full effect and it is full on traffic jams for 2+ hours at a time! How fucking dumb is that idea?! 5 million+ London cars on the road, 15000 people needing to go to and from athletic events…. Yeah. Makes sense. Dick!

Anyways, so I am once again sorry for being so under the radar…once a month is fast becoming a luxury but this is because I am now trying to set up a business where I work for myself. I have recently qualified as a nutritionist and I do this a long with personal training freelance. I have business cards and everything! I have had to get a few things set up such as get a business bank account, company name registration, web domains, business cards and leaflets etc. It is an exciting venture which I will need to work really hard at! This is to help me save up for another business venture I have been planning. I have had the idea in mind for a little while now so I will hopefully get something going asap! I won’t be mentioning the idea as a good business idea is a quiet one! I just need that start up to crack on. So I am very, very busy!

I have recently tried a new flavour of frozen yogurt called ‘Cake Batter’. Essentially it is frozen custard. It is awesome! If you get the chance try it! It is like sex for your mind and your mouth.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Train home and thoughts on the Olympics 2012

2012-07-05T14:32:00.001+01:00

On my way home for a temporary period.  It is a little unfortunate that have HaD to come home earlier than I would have liked to - essentially the avoid the Olympics (I shall discuss why in a moment).

Anyway, on the train I have the tragic misfortune of being sat within an earshot of the most pretentious cunt hair in the fucking universe! I don't mind people making polite conversations on journeys such as the one I'm currently on....in fact I believe it is a lost art. What did we ever do pre technology on long journeys?? You can only read the papers for so long.... so talk! I encourage you to engage in conversation but, not when you are constantly talking yourself up or speaking audibly with the phone to your ear even thought you probably didn't even get a fucking call!

"Yeah she invited Mr other island which is awesome!"

This is one of many quotes which I had the severe displeasure of hearing. Well, you pretentious motherfucker, you are travelling to Glasgow - Britain's poor man - on standard class with Virgin trains.

Well done you ya fucking knob! While talking to the young family seated near him he conveyed is love for many of the Asian capitol cities he visited during his "massive tour of Asia" including Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand etc. When he was asked about Kuala Lumpur he woefully responds with "Where's that?" I'm not even joking, I legitimately smacked my had against my head in a disgusted manner. He later explained that he was from a small, secluded hillbilly butt fuck town on he outskirts of Glasgow where they have no electricity, hot water or have any knowledge of what the Fucking internet is! This place is known as Ayr. Explains it all. I even took a photo of the monstrous cunt and tweeted it out of sheer disgust. You will find that he is fat and crap and most definitely bad at sports even though he may have only vague interest in sports like cricket and polo to make him appear cultured and interesting but in actuality is a complete fucktard who just likes to say shit to please people. I have been on the train a little over 2 hours and he has already surpassed anybody I have ever met or known of in terms of knobbish douchery. With regards to the Olympics games which has found it's way to London this year, I desperately wanted to be out of London for it, London is already insanely busy. Road works are taking the piss, public transport is sub par at best and in addition, they have added an Olympic lane on the roads of London for VIPs and athletes...I want to be on this lane, find the symbol and piss all over it because I don't give a fuckshit. That's right "fuckshit". Its so much powerful, don't you agree? How dumb as the Olympics? Some of the events are such non-things...javelin throwing - essentially throw a spear as far as you can...you know we have guns, right? No one uses spears for anything anymore. Shot put....you basically threw a 5kg pebble far. Good for you. Olympic marathon runners - unless you run marathons for charities there is literally no fucking reason to run such excessive amounts! There is keeping fit, healthy, losing weight etc and then there is jut plain sad. You ran 26.2 miles in 3 hours? I drove it in half an hour. Don't you feel like a shite bag now? Go on start crying. Go on. There are so many more but I just can't be arsed talking about it. Don't get me wrong, some are good. Some. The worst thing is they get the nations of the world to descend upon one city to compete in bullshit like shooting and everyone goes fucking ape shit for it! Why? I'm hungry. I'm getting food and is all continue my journey rather irate at the counts I'm surrounded by. Much love, Jackson L

Red Hot Chili Peppers

2012-06-25T12:11:00.001+01:00

I recently went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP), a band which I love! They are so summery and awesome to listen to. Not only do they create sweet, sweet music for a sad, sad world but, they compliment the music well with their excellent lyricism.

None of this Carly Rae Jepsen bullshit –

“Before you came into my life I missed you so bad” That makes no god damn motherfucking sense you dumb fuck!

Anyway, Chilis! So it was an open air event which, when the tickets were bought we were thinking YES!!! Summer time in London! A summery band! A band who dedicated a summer song about summer in London!!! (Emmit Remmus) I felt like Hannibal from The A team!

Needless to say, the weather was balls. In addition, the concert was a total let down, despite a welcome idiosyncratic set list including Sir Psycho Sexy, Higher Ground and Soul to Squeeze. Take that part time fans!!! I realised despite RHCP being an awesome band, they aren’t up to much live. They certainly weren’t as energetic as Dizee Rascal who actually stole the show, despite being a total bell-end with his hooliganistic chant of:

“LETS GOT FUCKIN’ BONKERS! LETS GO FUCKIN’ BONKERS!! NANA NANA NANAA NANAA”

I’ll be honest, I was loving that! I embrace any given moment of being a hooligan, when it is or isn’t socially acceptable. I love it! Fuck you!!

Anyway, the weather being shitty and the 2 and a bit hours or so that the chilis were on, I realised that not only was I distinctly disappointed with the way my life was going in that given moment, I was also strongly loathing all the cunts I was surrounded by....essentially a bunch of cunty-chops who had obviously never experienced alcohol before, didn’t know how to handle it and were freakin’ it! In addition to this, they probably think that the chilis are the best band ever. As previously stipulated, they aren’t anything spectacular live and if you know me, you know I have been to more than my fair share of gigs.

My problems with the headliners: Well, not much of a crowd interaction was the most obvious. It was almost as if they were there just for the sake of it. It was the fourth time I have seen the chilis and the last two times have been a shambles! Flea has become a little cocky in my opinion, thanking only 2 of the 3 support acts. Knob. And also, The new guitarist Josh clinghoffer#psqriohgqbwer;cvl qwebf;khjbg qwerg – that’s his name – was basically non-existent. He may as well have been backstage doing the instrumentals (bring back Mr John Frusciante, please!) Chad was awesome. I do love Chad. He is always up for it. T. Keidis was the first off stage. It was as if he couldn’t wait to fuck off. I don’t get it!

Furthermore, as I have already mentioned....the fans that were there. Fucking hell! Bar, one or two funny lads from Wales....the rest were a bunch of kids who pretended to know how to smoke and like I already said, thought the Chilis were god’s gift to the world. It reminded me of my brief stint on the RHCP app.

I need to say, I thought the idea of the app was super kool. You were able to keep up with the band’s current affairs, buy merchandise, see videos, lyrics and interact with other fans. It was almost like twitter specifically for the chilis. But, I say it was brief because around a week later I realised the vast majority were a bunch of retards who hated you if you were outside of the opinion that the chilis were the greatest band of all time x infinity100000000000000000000000000000000. Now, I love the chilis, I have all their albums and I, better than most, know their history, all the names that have been and gone etcetc. But, one conversation with a ‘fellow apper’ put me off completely.

(This was a while ago...)

APPER: I am trying to think of another band as good as the chilis who have been going as long as them.

ME: Chilis been going for 28 years. Metallica recently got inaugurated into the hall of fame for 30 years of music AND they are working on a new album.

APPER: Yeah but, they are not as good as the chilis

ME: That’s a difference of opinion and it is debateable.

OTHER APPER (my sister): Maiden released an album only last year, still touring and have been going longer than Metallica, even. Motorhead celebrated 35 years a few years ago and recently released an album and AC/DC are touring.

APPER: Yeah but none of their albums are as good as the chilis or as acclaimed

OTHER APPER: Yes they are and also, the foos had an album which was highly revered.

APPER: You’re such a hater! I’m going to go and listen to Porcelain to calm myself down.

Then, everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started to call us haters for knowing about other bands. Cunts.

Also, can I just say – Porcelain is without doubt thee gayest song in the chilis’ back catalogue. Even the chilis are like:

“Sorry lads. Dunno what that was about.”

Also, how are we haters just because we had a different opinion??! That guy was what I would like to call a knobcunt hybrid. He is the worst of both worlds. He is a hermaphrodite. He’s a herm! Not only does he listen to porcelain but no other bands are allowed to be better than the chilis. Knobcunt!

We were surrounded by the same bunch of knobcunts on Saturday and it was painful. You can’t beat a Motorhead crowd!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Immortal Technique

2012-06-08T04:53:00.000+01:00

I have recently been a total shit and not been up to my usual blogging ways and for this I can only offer my sincerest apologies.

Well, my esteemed readers, I have been stupendously busy. I have had a few things happen over the last few months which has detracted my usual musings/venting on our lovely virtual planet we call the 'interweb'.

The main change which has occurred is that we now have an additional flat mate in our tight space. Of course, he has asked me to protect his identity, even though I get about 7 people coming this way, I feel it is best I respect his wishes.

*It’s funny, despite the hysterically small traffic figures, I still get hate mail. Hahaha. Haterz be hatin’! *

So, we shall call him Simon. In an admirable quest to change his life for the better Simon has come down to London to pursue a career path he feels is more befitting and I have given him all the support I believe I could have and will continue to do so.

Having an extra person living here has made it a bit more difficult to enjoy luxuries such as blogging, what with trying to balance a job, studying, up keep of the flat and of course training. But, as the legendary John Lennon once said –

“Life happens when you make other plans.”

True that.

So, I digress as I so often do. There have been countless positives of having Simon here. I won’t get into too much detail about it and bore you all half to sleep, as I’m sure I already have....WAKE UP!!!

Anyway, the main positive is that I have been enlightened to a whole different universe of music whenever we are driving in his car. (Just managed to work in a positive there. They call me ‘Positive J’)

There is, in fairness, a lot of shit that you have to sieve through, which I suppose you can say about anybody’s music collection. However, the most outstanding artist that I have been exposed to is a rapper by the name of Immortal Technique.

He is a rapper/activist who is of Afro-Peruvian decent. Born in Lima, Peru he was raised in Harlem, New York and he is one hell of a rapper with a incredible diction and an inconceivable dexterity to rhyme words. He has a powerful message to compliment his proficiency and this is essentially a call for the lay person to wake the fuck up and understand what is happening in our world – behind the scenes so to speak. Also, to appreciate that things aren’t what they seem.

Unfortunately, and rather stupidly on my part, I have not yet got my hands on his older material but, notable tracks on his latest album, The Martyr include:

The Martyr

Rich Man’s World (1%)

Eyes In The Sky

Goonies

Black Vikings

Ultimas Parablas (This is one of those life changing speeches you see given in films. Power.)

Sign of the Times

It’s all deep stuff. The album is awesome and if you’re reading this, I recommend you get your hands on it. All the songs are on youtube. Hard hitting. Overwhelming. Awesome.

Remember the name. Immortal Technique.

Much love,

Jackson L.

point of view

2012-03-19T22:24:00.000+00:00

I would like to begin this post today by wishing the best to the bereaved families of those shot dead in Toulouse, France this morning. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I just hope it is not racially motivated as there is already enough hatred.

Over the last week or so, a few things have caught my eyes and ears and I would very much like to convey my opinions on these things. I was on my way home from the gym (because I am a total tank) the other day when I heard on the radio that the artist Plan B – who I do believe is a very talented artist – believes that the riots in London last summer were due to the upper and middle classes labelling the lower class derogatory names such as “chavs”. I do believe that people are entitled to their own opinions and I also think that there are some people in society that genuinely do not know any better just because of their social status in society or the way they were brought up, however, I still do not think that this was an excuse. Therefore, Plan B, I think this is a bollocks excuse! People, no matter how stupid they are, know when something is right and wrong. Going out rioting, setting things alight, looting, ruining other people’s livelihoods as well as killing is just plain wrong! And you are trying to tell me it’s because of school playground name calling??! COME ON!!!

There was no excuse. It ruined last summer in London for everybody. People have been made to feel inferior due to different ethnic backgrounds, gender and age even today and they have not been lame enough disturb the peace. If you want to be heard there is a more effective way of doing it rather than getting violent about it. If their sole mission was to achieve equality in treatment – and everybody knows it was just an excuse to grab a free TV – they totally shot themselves in the foot as now these people are thought to be scummier than ever. Around the same time in many countries in the Middle East, young and old were marching for basic human rights and in London a bunch of dickheads were looking to grab a tescovalue bag of basmati..... tragic.

Elsewhere, a US serviceman went a little trigger happy when he was drunk. Apparently he was mentally and physically injured in a tour of Iraq which is – according to his lawyer – what gave him the impetus to murder in cold blood 16 innocent people in their own homes. Oh, but he was mentally and physically injured in Iraq so it’s ok, right?! Get a fucking grip. I suppose you could argue that the military should have been more sympathetic to the fact that he was not fit to serve his country so soon after returning home from his previous tour(s) but, this is still unacceptable. He is there to represent his country and it’s not like they were doing a stellar job as it was but this event has undone any good they have done.

I have seen an advert for a book called Religion for Athiests: A non-believers guide to the uses of Religion. The advert has the slogan - "Even if religion isn't true, can't you enjoy the best bits?" Every time I do see it I can’t help but get pissed off! I think you already DO enjoy the best parts of religion. You have made Christmas and Easter painfully commercial as it is. Also, not that I have a problem with homosexual relationships but, listening to gay people express their negative views on religions but demand to have the rights to same sex marriage – A RELIGIOUS RITUAL – is a bit paradoxical, no? Have your civil partnerships, be who and whatever you want to be as long as you are a happy, good person however, don’t mock and abuse something that you don’t wholeheartedly agree with but wish to pick and choose only the best bits. It doesn’t work that way!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Rihanna

2012-03-14T21:42:00.000+00:00

I would like to discuss my intolerance towards Rihanna.

Firstly I will begin by emphasising her complete stupidity... I will for the life of me never ever know how or why she managed to forgive Chris Brown. In case you haven't noticed, Rihanna, you are a rold model for many douchebags whether you like it or not..... what kind of message do you think you are portraying?!

"Its okay to get the shit kicked out of you by your man."

Idition, Chris Brown is sucan epic cunt. For you constantly saying you have changed, you will orever be known as the knob that beat on a woman. Your juvenile, tragic faggotry on twitter shows you in your true light.

Furthermore, you constantly insist on torturing us by working with Drake - rap's spastic child. I completely adore the fact that Drake is all:

"HO! GANGSTA!! HO! BITCH GANSTA!"

Mate, you went to a fucking private school in Canada and you used to look like this. Rihanna, your music is even more shitty and monotonous because of your shit collaborations with him.

"Square root of 69 is 8 something, right?" - for one, shut the fuck up. Two, you are not clever. And three, you are a cunt. Fuck off. Also, your name is RIHANNA! You are 24 years old. You really should know your own name by now!

Finally, with all this said - I have come up with a theory about Rihanna. She is the lost tellytubby. Don't act all surprised! It is really obvious when you think about it. Listen to all her shit songs.

"You DA one that I dream about alweh eh ehz....You DA one I think about alweh eh ehz"

It's 'THE' not 'DA' but I do recall the tellytubbies saying "EH-OH" all the time. What's with all the 'eh eh eh', Rihanna? Hmm??!

"You can stand under my umbrella ella ella EH EH EH"

I think my theory is gathering a little strength.

"RUMPAPAPUM RUMPAPAPUM....Man down"

Tellytubbies generally make stupid noises. Also, refer to intro to Disturbia, S&M, Pon De Replay (what does that even mean?!) and so many more.

All your songs are annoyingly mundane. I can't stand your shit and the fact that people call your noise music is an insult to art.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Supplementation

2012-03-12T13:05:00.000+00:00

Month 5 of my research into the supplementation and it has, so far, gone very well.

After having taken Creatine pre-workout, a carbohydrate shake during and a protein shake post workout – all compounded with fat burners – my body fat percentage is now down to 15-17% having maintained most of my body mass.

Before I delve a little more into the value of “stacking” the supplements, I will just explain a little more about my targets. I am very happy with the level of strength I have. I know I can improve on it but, I am not too bothered to be honest. What I do plan on doing is altering my body image for self-efficacy and esteem. I plan of dropping to around 9-10% body fat and raise my body mass to around 98-100kg (15stone 7lbs to 16 stone) or approximately 210-220lbs (for my imperial system using American readers). I know that you may think this is mission impossible but I think that by the end of June I can achieve these targets. I have altered my lifestyle so that I have cut out a lot of things from my daily diet which really helps. I have completely cut out added sugars as well as cutting out white carbs altogether and replaced with wholemeal pasta, bread, rice, even sweet potatoes instead of normal potatoes. In addition to this, I have cut my fat intake considerably. One should not cut out a macronutrient from their diet altogether but, if you are trying to get rid of fat, it would be stupid to add more fat to your body. I get my fats from nuts, no sugar organic peanut butter, olive oil and humous. All of this coupled with correct supplementation will really help achieve my goal. I have tried this for the last few months and when I have lapsed into a normal diet again I have found that I am putting on weight easily without losing any shape. I’m looking forward to that phase of my journey as I will be gorging on everything!

Anyway, how many of you people workout regularly and take supplements and not noticed the desired effect? It is probably because you have been briefly told about protein and how muscle needs protein to grow and repair. Well, let me tell you the science of muscle is a lot more complex than just simple growth and repair. To put it simply, growth and repair, just like everything is our crazy universe requires energy. Energy in its most abundant form for humans in fat but, unfortunately, too much fat is not good for you. So, we turn to carbohydrates. An average 70kg man required 300g (40g of which to be sugars) in his daily diet. This is to maintain a healthy average body mass index (BMI). If you want to grow muscles, you need more than 300g. This is why drinking a carbohydrate shake during a workout helps gain optimal muscle growth. Carbs saturate the muscle quicker and it is a faster source of energy when you have depleted your energy reserve. Ever wondered why you were advised to eat carbs after a heavy session – cardio or weights? Particularly if you want to build muscle.

Your body naturally creates a source of energy called adenosine triphosphate. It is the single most potent source of energy in your whole body. So incredible in fact, that your body recycles it and it is capable to creating energy levels comparable to burning of alcohol – 45.6kJ/mole to be precise. It is required for literally everything your body does; breathing beating heart, blinking, hormonal release, digestion – essentially voluntary and involuntary movement. So with that, a phosphate from the ATP combines with a muscle specific energy used during anaerobic exercise called creatine giving phospho-creatine. This is what gives you the energy to push out those reps. Supplementing your natural reserve of creatine with a creatine shake helps pile out another 2-3 reps and this helps you develop quicker.

Protein shake for after workout to help with growth and repair is essential but, your body can only take so much protein per day. Too much protein can actually cause kidney stones which is very painful to pass. Also, too much of any macronutrient will be stored as fat as your body will not be able to metabolise it.

In addition to these supplements, fat burners are a good way to kick start your day. They are usually packed with caffeine which are naturally good at metabolising fats and can contain other natural extracts such as green tea extract, cayenne pepper and orange peel. A lot of research has gone into fat burners but, always; with all the supplements ignore what they say on the label – apart from the dosage. With fat burners you need to be careful as fatty receptor cells are sensitive. They can get used to a specific fat burner and after time it will not have the desired effect. This is why having two fat burners and interchanging (2weeks on 2weeks off) is the best way to ensure they are working.

To summarise, you need to STACK your supplements. This means take more than one supplement. Creatine and a fat burner pre-workout, carbs during your work out and protein post workout seems to be the winning formula.

I will no doubt keep you posted.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Cats versus dogs

2012-03-10T23:59:00.002+00:00

I am such a cat person. Cats are far superior to the annoying, needy cannes mongrelise. Not just domesticated cats but the whole feline family as a whole.

I know a lot of dog owners and thankfully not all of them become like their pets - weird, needy, smelly and annoying. They are one step away from licking their own balls and then licking your face. Disgusting and deplorable behaviour. Also, is there anything more tragic than seeing a dog owner pick up dog shit whenever these people take their dogs out in public?!

Read this:

http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm

Cats are so much more intelligent than dogs!

Much love,

Jackson L

A controversial opinion

2012-03-07T13:17:00.000+00:00

I think that there is a long overdue apology in order for some of my readers who have actually even sent me emails questioning whether I am still in fact walking around on our beautiful Earth. Well, I am alive and kicking and doing just fine!

I do apologise tremendously for being so off the radar. I have been insanely busy. Research is going well and I will update you all on that on a later blog…because I am sure you all want to know about it!

I do have rather a lot to talk about but the more I think about it I guess it is now considered old news. You all have probably formulated your opinions and moved on and that’s kool. I guess it serves me right for not updating in so long.

….Uh Happy New year by the way! I just realised it is indeed my first blog of 2012 and what better way to start with a bit of controversy?! Eh?? Ya bastards!

I would like to address several issues here. There has of late, been many programmes on TV looking at how segregated communities in the UK are. One area in particular is Bradford which has a population from many diverse origins; Afro-Caribbean, Asian and white and from different social statuses. A series, Make Bradford British, documenting one person from each of these ethnic backgrounds (male and female) - who were born and raised in the UK but failed ‘The Government UK Citizenship test’ – was chosen to live together for a few weeks. I believe it to be a rather positive and interesting social experiment as it is carried out before the all-seeing eyes of the British public and it is footage at its most raw. This allows people who do observe to formulate proper opinions with a deeper understanding of how ‘their foreign neighbour’ may operate on a daily basis. So far we are one episode in and I think it will get better.

The important thing is though, it got me thinking more and more and I think it is important that I – as a Muslim man living in the UK hailing Britain from the Arab world – get these opinions across in any way I can.

A few weeks ago I was walking en route to work and I stopped and watched a crowd of people launch a symphony verbal abuse at an Arab Muslim – my kinsmen – for holding a sizeable placard stating:

MAKE BRITAIN SHARIYAH

Now, living in the country that we do, we have several freedoms and rights and one of those rights is the freedom of speech. I have always said – and I will say again – there is no such thing as ‘Freedom of Speech’. I am of that philosophy as in public, despite having the right to your own opinions, you still need to be careful about what you say because you can still offend people. Freedom of speech would entitle you to call an individual who is of a Negro persuasion a ‘nigger’. This is a very derogatory word, it offends, and it therefore, should not be said. However, a bigoted, intolerant, Nazi shithead could argue that it is well within their right to say that as it comes under freedom of speech, hence, in my opinion, this is a grossly paradoxical.

Anyway, I deviate. In between the moderate racism I was hearing, I was trying to gain better understanding of his want for a Shariyah Britain.

Shariyah – This is the name given to the law under Islamic code. Essentially it follows political, country, housing, tax, charity (etc) laws as it is stated in the Quran.

If I am perfectly honest, he did look the type that may have just wanted there to be Shariyah law JUST because and ONLY because he was Muslim. In my experience however, I am trying my best to not judge a book by its cover and I do strongly believe his heart was in the heart place. He explained that he lives in fear. He also went on to explain that this is his Britain as well and he is saying that Shariyah law would make Britain a safer, more economically stable country with low unemployment rates etc. I am indeed, like many of you reading this sceptical, but I couldn’t help but think ‘what if?’ If nothing else, could he be right? Would the death penalty act as a deterrent? Would no alcohol and no gambling mean less violence in the streets? If taxation was not a big deal and everyone did chip in (pay Zakat) would we be hit as hard in the recession?? Who knows?

Anyway, the more I thought about it the more I began to think that this guy is awfully brave, to the point of being stupid, for voicing his opinions publicly. There are so many movements trying to get rid of ‘the foreigners’ who have stolen the native’s jobs, money, streets, women, houses and healthcare. The likes of the National Front, English Defence League, Scottish Defence League who have also exercised their right to a freedom of speech to stop any progression towards changing their British law. The law of their land. The law it has always been and the law they have always understood. I feel at this point I must reiterate that I am a Muslim man. I wholeheartedly understand why there are all these movements with such far right wing ideals. When something that you love comes under any threat from anything foreign you feel like you must defend it and I respect that.

I do not agree with the way that some of these people portray themselves though. I think when any violence, rather than civil understanding through debate and discussion, is introduced you induce fear between these groups. Fear due to lack of understanding leads to hatred because of cultural differences and this leads to racial hate and discrimination. This occurs on both sides of the fence so I am not one of those people who exclaim “THE WHITE MAN IS THE DEVIL!” They are both as guilty as each other.

The National Front movements have had educated people speak up against what they believe is wrong in their country and I understand that but, their movement is tarnished because you get the ‘foot soldiers’ who commit violent attacks on innocent people with different coloured skin. One cannot help being born with the colour of the skin! One also cannot help being born in a foreign country, much like I was. I was born in the UK and I embrace myself as British. I was raised here. I grew up here and I feel I integrated well here. I have been presented with many opportunities which I try to take full advantage of and I have a fantastic life here. I would never expect to see Britain change to a foreign way of life and so they should not! We, the foreign people, are lucky to be in a country which has granted us asylum, a house for us to make into a home, benefits (if we need it), free healthcare and education. Basically, we get hooked up!

In Islam we are taught to respect the laws of foreign land. Britain is not a Muslim country and therefore, from a Muslim’s stand point, this is a foreign country. We must respect the law of their land. If British non-Muslim women went to Saudi Arabia (don’t ask me why….) they would be expected to cover up their hair and dress in a certain way. The very least we can do – after being given so much – is adhere to their regulations, not be cheeky enough to try and change it! By all means uphold your own cultural customs but don’t become a fundamentalist and try to get an entire country to observe to your principles.

Much love,

Jackson L.

videos

2011-12-13T10:55:00.000+00:00

Have a watch of this video –

I wonder if she blows her father with that mouth. What a stupid fucking bitch. Seriously. How dumb can you get? I feel sorry for her child as dumb assery breeds dumb assery.

Someone needs to tell her that the reason why ‘her Britain’ is in the shitter goes deeper than just ‘a bunch of foreigners’ coming in and stealing all her jobs. Not to be as prejudice as her but, no doubt she is on the dole and claiming benefits anyway so she wouldn’t have a job to begin with! She is the model of the decay of western society and narrow mindedness that you read about or hear about in the news and actually think to yourself – Really?! There are people out there who can say such things or do such things to their fellow man??! How backwards and dense can you get? Even animals show each other more respect!

Clearly, she was just brought up around other stupid people who have manipulated and brainwashed her only for her to regurgitate what she has brought up to believe with no sound or justifiable cause to say it other than the fact the she believes she lives a life of hard knocks because there are people from other ethnic backgrounds who live within her country. This is why I feel for the child as this is what he will grow up to learn and it is wrong.

This woman was sentenced to jail time but managed to get off by agreeing to do community service.

On a lighter note, watch this video courtesy of Humza productions –

I thought it was funny.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Fuck xfactor and the whole cast, tell 'em Jackson says they can kiss my whole ass.

2011-12-12T12:00:00.001+00:00

So x-factor has finally finished and it would appear that I now need to know the name of some shitty girl group so that I know to avoid. I believe it was ‘Little Mix’ or some balls like that that won the Xfaggtor last night and now we have yet more manufactured bullshit polluting our charts and once again, the xfactor winners will be gaining xmas no.1 slot again (despite a desperate cry from the UK’s public to end the monopolisation a few years ago when rage against the machine pipped Joe McElderry to no.1). Fuck! I can’t stand that show and all the douchebags that insist on watching it and look at you weird when you tell them that you actually have a life similar to how they may look at you if you told them that you (like me) do NOT and refuse to have a facebook account.

Well done xfactor contestants – you sing other people’s songs and get judged on how good you are where the real talent lies not only with having a good voice but with the ability to be able to write lyrics and music as well. Dicks.

I looked at the group of girls that won it and they are the quintessential band of airheads that have moderately acceptable voices and no ability to write their own shit. In essence – what all teeny boppers, small annoying children and utter knobs that are over the age of 30 who think they are ‘hip and kool’ look for in music and enjoy.

I have mentioned before that I have a live and let live attitude with music. Whatever is on the charts would most definitely not interest me in the slightest unless I think it is really good – recently being the likes of Tinnie Tempah but, what really intensifies my loathing for the music in the charts and thus, indirectly the British public, are things like the xfactor. More and more manufactured acts are being produced and where are they now?!

Shayne Warne

Leona Lewis

Joe McElderry

Gareth Gates

Will Young

Heresay

Girls’ Aloud

Spice Girls

Atomic Kitten

All manufactured. All completely shite. Where are they now?! It is only a matter of time before ‘Little Mix’ become ‘Massive Nobodies’. What would it matter by then?! They would have their 15 minutes of fame and will end up doing Iceland adverts because they are just a bunch of chavs – Stacey Soloman.

Fuck you Xfactor!

Much love,

Jackson L.

#100

2011-11-29T10:54:00.000+00:00

Blog 100 of 2011. Register this expression….it’s my ‘I don’t give a shit face’. I would say I will make it a good one but, I’ll be honest – my musings are really not that interesting so the fact that you are even reading this is an emphatically mammoth compliment nevertheless, truly, there must be something seriously wrong with you. I discuss things which have no real bearing on anyone’s life and it can simply be summed up in one word – shit. It’s ok though – I do enjoy receiving emails of sheer hatred explicitly describing my being as futile and how my opinions are just terrible and I am possibly worse than the anti-Christ.

Anyway, I read in the paper today that Daniel Craig – an actor almost as wooden as a hybrid of Keanu Reeves and Nicholas Cage and Clive Owen and Kristin Stewart – thought that Kim Kardashin was a ‘fucking idiot’. I must say – my respect levels peaked from ‘fuck all’ which is a legitimate standard unit of measure to ‘almost fuck all’ which of course is one up from fuck all. It goes like this

Fucking shit loads

Shit loads

Loads

Almost fuck all

Fuck all

Simples.

I saw this today:

Genius.

Not really much else to chat about – work levels have been picking up and between trying to juggle uni, work and the gym; I have been intensely busy….to the point where I kind of hate myself for being alive but, I guess keeping busy is better than doing nothing with my time.

Keep on keeping on, people!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Soyboobies.....I mean Soynipples......tits!

2011-11-24T11:04:00.000+00:00

My dear followers who won’t officially follow me on my page but read all my stuff and tend to email me personally instead of leaving a comment (hint hint), I am so sorry for being so off the radar of late. I have had SO much on my plate recently but that’s just research stuff and other things which at the moment are a little too personal to divulge.…so fuck off!

Anyway, any of you people enjoy drinking Soy Milk? Well, men – it contains oestrogen. Research has shown that men over the age of 30, i.e. when our testosterone production slows down, we are more susceptible to developing tits, losing hair, changes in voice and emotions. This is because our body is unable to over produce testosterone to eradicate the intake of oestrogen within the Soy Milk.

This research was based on a recent occurrence involving a Vietnam veteran. A soldier who had flown attack helicopters and had won medals for valour had taken to drinking Soy Milk as a ‘healthy alternative’. He developed breasts, penis had shrunk, and facial hair growth had significantly slowed down, loss of body hair and crazy emotional changes. He was accused of taking oestrogen supplements which he had categorically denied and it was true. Blood tests showed that he had eight times more oestrogen in his bloodstream than what is normal for males. After much deliberation, tests and all sorts, his diet was evaluated. They tested everything he would regularly consume and it was found that Soy Milk had significant levels of oestrogen. It was further research on male subjects from a cross section of society, different ages, ethnicities and social backgrounds (not sure why your social background would have any affect….but what do I know?). It turned out that age was the greatest determining factor. So beware!

I think Soy Milk tastes like shit. It ruins everything that normal milk is supposed to complement; tea, cereal etc. Sucks if you are lactose intolerant but, I think you should really try to phase it out.

Soy in general is seriously damaging to your health. Check out this link:

http://www.maxworkouts.com/articles/why-soy-is-bad-for-your-health?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=soy

Fuck you soy!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Junior Apprentice and road cyclists

2011-10-26T13:42:00.000+01:00

The junior apprentice series has begun and I instantly hate every contestant on it. What a shower of stupid, needlessly arrogant, condescending, narcissistic cunts.

One of the contestants literally said:

“I got 8 A*s and 2 As in my GCSEs and I am not intimidated by anyone because I know I’m better than them.”

Well, I will go and get the biscuits. Fucking cock. What a sad sack of shite. Imagine thinking you are invincible because of your academic background. Honestly, what puts it in their minds that they are so awesome? I remember getting 8 1s in my Standard Grades and after about 2 weeks no one gave a shit and I carried on with my life.

I guess it is her insecurities creeping in with a statement like that. Obviously, due to the shocking mess that are her tragic looks she is not being chased by any of the boys in her year, most definitely because she will crush them under her beluga-whale-like weight if there were to be any boys interested unless she hasn’t already scared them off with her face which has a strong resemblance this. Obviously she needs something to make her feel good about herself and, like most other ugly people, she turns to making her academics second to none.

This is the caliber of unreserved douchebags that are littered in this show. Honestly, how can you be this much of a monumental cunt with only 16 years of life? You have barely had enough exposure to anything to be this much of a complete bell-end.

Another contestant, the one who was dismissed, possibly one of the most egotistical wankers alive exclaimed that he still has a ‘successful’ business and he will go on to pursue a life of great achievements and Lord Sugar – an established businessman who has built an empire worth £800 million over the last 40 years – will regret not hiring this child. Deluded much, you stupid shit head? This kid sounded as though he had come from a humble up-bringing by his somewhat urbanised accent which in itself was insufferable. The way he dressed with suits not at all tailored well for him and a big blinging gold watch made me, plainly, utter aloud:

“Are you for-fucking-real?”

The way he would articulate himself was comparable to a moderately well educated 3 year old. How he had any business acumen or a ‘successful’ business I will never know. And by that I mean I will never know who died and left him at the helm.

Anyway, this guy had a head that made Alien’s look minuscule. What’s funny is that it is both literal and figurative.

If, as Allen Sugar says, our country’s economy is in their hands I am leaving the fucking country.

You know what else aggravates me? When I see cyclists on the road….especially when I am driving. But, what annoys me beyond belief is when they are cycling, on a road with cars, with no hands. They are just trying to show off. Well, let me tell you, you are not kool. If anything you are the pinnacle of cuntishness. If Hitler carried out a genocide against the likes of you he would probably have been hailed a humanitarian visionary. Stop being wreckless fucking wankers and endangering yourselves, other cyclists, pedestrians and drivers. You fucking stupid fucking cunts.

I may illustrate myself as heartless here but, I hope I am in the presence of one of these ‘no hander’ cyclists if and when they get hit. I will be the first to run up and ask:

“You need a hand there…well you have two. You should have been fucking using them!”

Knobs.

Much love,

Jackson L

Sport

2011-10-26T12:26:00.000+01:00

It was a fantastic day for sport last Sunday. We saw the final of the Rugby World Cup take place between the French who were lucky in their manner towards the final – despite having world player of the year, Captain Thierry Dusautoir, in their ranks - having lost two games on the road! An All Blacks team lacking the powerful, potent attack that; arguably the most gifted player in the world - Dan Carter provides, were clearly not at full capacity. It was an ugly final which even I, a neutral, couldn’t bare to watch. The whole game, from start to finish was all that a final should offer.

The French decided to form an ‘arrow head’ during the confrontation that is the native New Zealander Haka (war dance). The French Federation of Rugby is now being fined £2500 which I feel is a little unfair. Yes, it is only respectful to watch the spectacle that is the Haka while your opposition performs it but, with all the intensity in which it is executed, some dispute that it gives the All Blacks a psychological advantage – which I believe to be a load of utter shit! The Samoans, Fijians and Tongans also have a Haka….none of these teams have won the world cup twice! It is the quality of players which New Zealand have the world’s best of in many positions across the field. Anyway, I disagree with the fine. I think it is just as respectful to watch the challenge being laid down by the All Blacks via their intimidating war dance as, in your own way accepting the challenge by demonstrating you are not afraid. You are here to do battle. You are here as a team. The French did all those things and it was not in defiance. It was their own way of signifying their acceptance of the challenge with a counter-challenge.

Piri Weepu, dubbed ‘Mr Fixit’ by many in New Zealand was the go to man when Dan Carter was ruled out early in the competition with a groin injury. He remained in his Scrum-half position but took on the responsibilities of a fly half on pitch. Despite his excellence during the tournament, he missed 8 points worth of kicks in the final – 2 penalties and a conversion, leaving it only 5-0 at half time instead of a potential 13-0. By the end of the game, the All Blacks had to resort to their 4^th stand off – who came on to kick a penalty with wonderful composure to ensure an 8 point lead which would require the French to score twice to win the game. The game ended at a nail biting, nerve wracking 8-7 as the French scored a try via their captain which was converted.

It was not by any stretch of the imagination an All Black exhibition but, a win! This ended their 24 year World Cup drought despite being the best team on the planet for so very long. The French did play very well but, I hate it when people say the French deserved to win. Well, they did not. They did not deserve to win because they did not score more points. Also, if you look at any good rugby team, one who pulls all the strings and makes all the play is and always will be the man wearing the number 10 jersey – the stand off position. For New Zealand to have to rely on their FOURTH starting stand off in a world cup final and STILL win, albeit by a single point, goes to show the strength in depth this team have and in my humble opinion, very much the deserved winners of the most prestigious prize in international rugby. So, to those who say otherwise – I casually spit in your face and ceremoniously walk away from your futile, feeble minded opinions/self. Just remember what New Zealand did to France earlier in the world cup during the pool stages. That was them at full capacity and it was above and beyond any of the other matches of the world cup. It was one of the best displays of rugby I have ever seen. I am not saying that the All Blacks would have repeated this in the final….every game is different but, do not forget what they are capable of when they are firing on all cylinders.

In the last 20 minutes of that game I actually felt my heart racing! I have no affiliation whatsoever to New Zealand – if anything more for France I was on the verge of embarking on a professional rugby career there. I guess I hadn’t realised I wanted them to win it so much.

A positive find for the future of New Zealand rugby was Aaron Cruden. Only 22 years old and by chance, given the opportunity to start at number 10 and he seized upon the prospect….and what a prospect he is! Unfortunately, it looked like he tore some ligaments in his knee during the final. A great player with a fantastic future. He is a possible replacement for Dan the man.

This final marked a great day for rugby where we saw many a great and celebrated name in world rugby finally be labeled ‘world champion’. Most notably Captain Richie McCaw.

All the power, all the passion, all the glory, all the world. The All Blacks. The hallowed black is finally turned to gold. Well done New Zealand.

The day only got better when I learned the result of the Manchester derby. Man City schooled Man United at Old Trafford – ‘The Theatre of Dreams’ – and a dream it was! 6-1 the final score and an embarrassed Sir Alex Ferguson conceded the most humiliating day in Manchester United history. Mario Balotelli is such a hero. Having read an interview with him recently, I am happy to see he has really taken a shining to Roberto Mancini who I think is doing a great job at Man City. I think he will do well this year. So far undefeated in the league and enjoying a 5 point lead on the summit.

I love sport! It is so sad to see the Rugby World Cup end but I cannot be happier for the eventuality.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Heroes.

2011-10-21T12:34:00.002+01:00

I was watching Frasier yesterday as I received the whole boxset from my sister for my birthday. It is just fantastic. I love the humour, it is above and beyond most other itcoms I have watched like Friends. Friends just seems like the commoner’s sitcom compared to Frasier.

It was a Halloween special episode that actually got me wracking my brain. In this particular episode Frasier threw a party with the theme of coming as your hero. Frasier went as Sigmund Freud as he believes it was him who sparked such a keen interest in psychology and given it is what he does as a profession he felt he had a hand in molding his character. Fair enough I thought. But then, I began thinking….who is my hero? I really do not know who my hero is. Well, apart from my dad – cliché central – I have no real hero who has influenced me in such a way that it has defined my character or persona.

FYI – my dad is a hero to me as his life is a remarkable story. He has come from humble upbringings in Iraq to a very well respected cardiologist. He took his family out of a country torn by war, he was exiled from neighbouring countries and he had to leave the Middle East, the area he has known all his life, to provide a better future for his family. To provide the way my father has is truly heroic.

I have sporting heroes, people I look up to when I am in need of inspiration and heroes in music but, there is no one outstanding who has made me the person I am today. I don’t think anyway…

Who is your hero?

Much love,

Jackson L.

Recent news

2011-10-21T12:05:00.000+01:00

October 20^th 2011 was the day that Colonel Muammar Gaddafi’s 42 years of tyranny and dictatorship concluded once and for all with the ending of his life. Of course, this is good for the people of Libya and now they are free from this horror and I agree, for once, with our prime minister when he called for us not to forget the victims who suffered the brutality and paid the ultimate price during Gaddafi’s repulsive reign. However, there are many things still left undone. Many families who had endured the awfulness of the Lockerbie bombings and also those affected by the shooting of Yvonne Fletcher – who was only 25 years old when she was murdered – will now forever live without the answers they so severely crave. Wanting to know why and never finding out can be very cruel. I may be an idiot for saying this but, in the furor a man who had all those answers, a man who should have stood trial against all he atrocities he committed against humanity was shot dead. No one knows who shot him…convenient.

I feel nothing but rapture for the revolutionaries on Libya and I wish them all the best for the rebuilding of their nation. This is only the end of the beginning. It is going to be a long road to recovery but, hopefully a straightforward, painless one.

When I was reading the paper today, I read about some 19 year old kid who was arrested for being a drug dealer. His car was parked oddly at a junction and police searched his car only to find 7 grams of heroin and cocaine in his car and when searching his pockets they found business cards advertising his services in the selling of narcotics. I’m no drug dealer but, I’m pretty sure that it is a business you would not want to advertise with use of a business card complete with your real name and phone number! Seriously, how stupid can you get?! Dumb fuck.

The Rugby world cup is coming to an end. It has been a thrilling 6 weeks of great rugby and it has really made me miss the sport. The much anticipated final will be between the All blacks and Les Bleau. France and New Zealand, the best of both hemispheres when they play to their full potential will promise to be a gripping match, despite France’s luck on their road to the final, I’m sure they will deliver a spectacle to behold. New Zealand will have many demons to put to rest (France being New Zealand’s bogey team at World Cup time) and will not be bowled over on their home turf too easy, particularly at Fortress: Eden Park.

Despite having met some of the French players in the past and getting to know a few of them, I would rather see the All Blacks lift the trophy. They have been ranked no. 1 in the world for a very long time and they deserve to end the 24 years of hurt. It was in 1987, the first ever world cup, that the All Blacks won the world cup and it was against France in the final. It would be befitting if this was a repeat of that final.

Great weekend of rugby ahead. Unfortunately, my teams of the tournament, Wales, lost to Australia today – only narrowly – 21-18. The Welsh were completely outplayed which goes to show their strength in depth. They were also without one of the most outstanding players of the world cup, their captain, Sam Warburton. He has been banned for three weeks due to a reckless tackle which I thought was harsh.

They will have a great 6 nations I think.

Much love,

Jackson L.

I have sold out II

2011-10-19T13:04:00.000+01:00

I just realised that I have sold out some more. I recently acquired an iPhone 4S. I used to hate everything that is apple, mainly because of the plethora of DOUCHEBAGS, that keenly support them to the point where others just get goaded. Much like Man united fans. I had an iPod and it was great. It served me so very well and I used it everyday for over 4 years. Tragically it died (deleted my 15Gb of music due to ‘bugs’). Before it died it was only transmitting any noise from the left hand headphone. It was a slow, agonising death for my iPod but I refuse to get rid of it. But this is all digression. People who think Apple is the greatest thing ever and are in your face about it worse than gay people about their sexuality, are just annoying. Not to say gay people are annoying but those who are needlessly defensive of their sexuality are.

So, I always said iPhones were not the best smartphones about. I always said that there were better smartphones on the market, such as htc and Samsung phones. How wrong I was! I made the disastrous mistake of obtaining an htc HD2 which is a (shoddy) windows phone. It looked good. It was my first smartphone and it was shit. Barely any apps, constantly crashed and I began loathing it towards the end of it’s tenure with me. The operating system was just bullshit and I tried so hard to get it onto the android operating system to no avail.

This, I think, was a futile stand against being one of the many millions who would get an iPhone and do nothing but rave about it. This will be the only time I will talk about my iPhone on this blog. It is awesome. It has changed my expectation of what every smartphone should be. It comes with all the standard trimmings a smartphone does; phone calls, texts, emails, internet, camera. In addition it has the apps store, face time, an 8 Megapixel camera with HD recording and its most attractive feature – Siri (of all the links I post - I recommend you look t this one). It is a voice activated/recognition element. It is not first generation but it can still do with a bit more fine tuning however, you can ask it to carry out simple commands such; as schedule an appointment which it will add to your calander, reschedule – change appoint times etc, dictate a text or email and be sent to someone, make a phone call, ask about the weather and more.

It is awesome. Think of Siri as a butler for your phone.

I still think apple and all their die hard fans are shit, but I just want apple stuff. They look so kool and they have really nailed the phones.

Much love,

Jackson L.

I have sold out!!!

2011-10-19T12:27:00.000+01:00

So, I have indeed sold out. For the past month I have involved myself in an intense research project with a view to conclude on the potency of supplementation in sport. Protein shakes, recovery drinks, fat burners, creatine, testosterone supplements – all befall a multi-million pound a year cluster fuck. So many companies with a foothold in this business convince you that they have research to back up their product and we, the blind consumer, are taken in and engulfed by the basic science that they offer within their blurb concluding that their product is the most life changing, awesome, lose-14-stone-of-fat, gain-a-thousands-kilos-of muscle-with-a-vein-ridden-six-pack. Of course, we think that all our time in the gym is a complete waste without said product and we buy it and with all our vigour become an everyday, run of the mill muscle bound dickhead that is so hell bent on working every muscle in your body that you would even exercise your pelvic girdle with the most stupid, painstaking exercises imaginable…..I know I have become all these things.

Regardless, it has been known that people who take supplements do tend to exercise harder – subconsciously – so that they get more ‘bang for their buck’. Indeed, if people worked out just as hard without the supplements would the gains be so magnificent?

This is what the research is trying to answer. The study is a blind study meaning the participants of the study – myself and many others – are given a specific supplement (in my case 4!), being either; a protein shake, carbohydrate drink, creatine, fat burners and recovery drinks. And of course a placebo.

Given my symptoms – pre, during and post consumption and during my work out – I suspected I was most definitely not on any placebo which I was a little disappointed in. Reasons as to my discontent and hence my selling out is due to my intense disbelief in these supplements working as these sports nutrition companies – who get Olympic medal winners and other elite athletes to endorse them because some muhfuckas looking for cash muney – say they do. For me, it is an unnatural way of muscle gain and this is why the initial gain in size and strength is short lived as once you do the 6 weeks on, 6 weeks off you drop nearly 50% (on average depending on how much you rely on it) of your gained mass. In addition to this, I proved many people wrong by gaining nearly 2 stone in 6 months during my rugby days when I played in the front row. I was 17 stone 10lbs (112kg or ~250lbs) and I. WAS. JACKED!

I did it all naturally. I was in the gym 4 hours a day, running 50-60 miles per week, intervals and eating ‘A SHIT LOAD’ which is a legitimate measure of volume. I was consuming 10000 calories + a day. It was a glorious time. You can achieve anything with the correct nutrition and exercise.

Anyway, I got measured up and took a standard strength test (consisting of 1 Rep Maxes on exercises like bench press, squat lift, dead lift etc) prior to the research beginning. We then get measured up again in monthly increments to monitor any increases. I had a sneak peak at mine… Suffice to say there have been changes. I knew there would be if I was on any supplements. My body fat percentage has dropped 3.61% and my weight has increase by almost 4kg.

My supplements include (I think!)

Fat burners which I need to take at certain times in the day (before breakfast and IF I take it a second time in a 24 hour period I should ensure I take it at least 5 hours later as it is quite a powerful mix.). This leaves a real feeling of nausea.

Creatine – naturally the body generates phosphor-creatine which help give muscle the energy required for anaerobic exercises such as sprinting, weight lifting, interval training etc. The theory is to supply the muscle with more energy and you could do those extra few reps which will help increase strength and definition sooner rather than later. Probably the supplement I would gun for most if I had to. I must take this before any gym session.

Carbohydrate drink – this tastes atrocious! Literally an offence every time this touches my lips. Your taste buds are left like Poland in 1939….invaded for what seems like an eternity! Infuriating! The theory here is that carbs saturate your muscles much faster than protein do therefore you will get big quick! I believe I am definitely on this as I am told to sip at this during a weights session. Only two others have to do this in the subject group – obviously the guy on the placebo and the guy who is taking carbs as his only supplement.

Finally, Protein shake. I have had one or two shakes in the past and I will never forget the consistency and the hideous texture, not to mention the smell when you leave it in a shaker for a few hours. God forbid the room being a little warmer than usual. I am told to take this after a work out session. The science behind protein is simple. It is for growth and recovery. Hair, nails, skin, muscle – all protein. Whenever any of these are damaged, your body compensates by depositing proteins. Obviously, up to a certain degree. Giving an individual unfortunate enough to suffer from skin cancer a protein shake will do nothing but aggravate them. I don’t mean cause more detriment to their condition, I mean they will get aggravated at your stupidity.

To conclude, I believe that in order for these things to work, you really need a combination of the RIGHT things. There are so many different forms of supplements with so many different brand names within each branch of the proverbial supplementation tree (brand names can be like twigs in the branch) that one could either get annoyed and not bother looking into the right stuff, waste money on things that don’t work or try everything all at once which could counteract certain supplements thus, money wasted.

Although I am involved in this research project, I still do not condone supplementation. However, if you are keen on supplements then you will do well to consider the supplements I am on. In addition you may want to look at separate recovery drinks which are packed with nitrates which help alleviate muscle soreness allowing you to do more.

This is going to be a long 6 months. I deduce that in time, my body will acclimatise to the barrage of supplements I am feeding on. Thankfully I will not be in search of more forceful supplements if this was to happen.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Fuck you TfL!!!

2011-10-11T12:38:00.001+01:00

Today on the train we were majorly delayed. The Central line – connecting me to the rest of London – had hideous delays on it due to defective trains on it. This added a further half hour to my journey time and I was not too pleased about that. Furthermore, I was charged twice for the same journey as I had to exit one station and walk to another to get to connecting trains to finally arrive to my final destination.

I sent the TfL (Transport for London) a piece of my mind demanding a refund as I thought this was fair. I will update you on their response.

Anyway, on the crammed train, everyone was very irritable. As I got on I was trying to consider others by looking for space further into the carriage. I found a small quadrant of about 10cm by 10cm to stand in (considering my upper body size it is a tight squeeze) and I politely asked the small girl wearing hijab to let me past. Her very rude response was:

“And stand where?!”

I pointed at the gaping space and rather undiplomatically snorted:

“THERE!!”

To which she simply responded with:

“No…”

At this point another man joined in the fray and said

“Just move your arm and let the man through to stand there. It means more people can get on.”

To which she stupidly responded with

“No! Mind ya business!! I don’t see you getting up off your seat for me. Mind ya business!!”

Well, what could I say or do at this point? Everyone was looking at this total dick needlessly making a scene and I said to the man:

“Thank you for seeing sense. Obviously some people are not very sensible!”

He chuckled. Prompting the girl to get all in my face and say:

“Are you trying to say something?!”

“Yes. You are a sad, pathetic, GCSE failing little child who is just being difficult for the sake of being difficult. You think you are standing your ground for something worthwhile but in actuality you are not. I think I can safely say everyone of this train thinks you are a total douchebag.”

Some people snigger and I begin to read my metro. She began to say some stupid stuff like:

“How dare you! You don’t know me!!”

To which I laughed as about four people told her to shut up. It was nice to have others on my side. During the train journey she kept drawing my attention with scolding looks. I just smiled back at her.

Eventually we arrive at a stop where a few people got off. She sat herself down on an empty seat and I was inopportune enough to have to stand in the space I wanted which was directly in front of her.

The train began moving and it was quite bumpy. Someone knocked into me (on a crowded train might I remind you) and this imbecile stated:

“I told you not to stand there!”

And in a heartbeat I said:

“For God’s sake! No one asked for your fucking opinion!!”

The look of shock on her face was even better than the look of adulation on the face of the man who tried to intervene earlier. She remained quiet for the remainder of the journey. Barely a peep. She did not even look up at me.

A few stops later, as she was getting off, I thought it would be a good idea for me to say “Salaam alaekum” in the hope that she realises that she is a Muslim girl who is supposed to uphold our beliefs and this includes not looking for confrontation at any given opportunity.

I sat down next to the man who mediated previously. He seemed to have a few things to say about the whole affair to which I simply said:

“It did not need to happen. She was just being needlessly unreasonable and I really did not want to have to get aggressive towards a person who follows in my faith.”

Ridiculous.

Anyhow, I was late for my appointments at university today and I am hating the TfL. It is almost as bad as the public service at home. I can’t believe that the prices for trains are on the rise and this is what we have to deal with. I do not expect all public transport services in the UK to be 100% efficient all the time because I know shit happens but, for the amount that we have to pay, it should be a hell of a lot better!

Much love,

Jackson L.

I wouldn't say no...

2011-10-03T16:26:00.000+01:00

Here are some things that I would love to have in my life -

Good accessories. Salt and pepper have never looked so kool!

Cool cushion! I have always said I want biscuit cushions.

This is legitimately thee most epic clock I have ever laid eyes on.

Now that I have a Samsung Tablet I have my own bookstore on it. I would happily fill this bookshelf with any books though. I would look like the most learned man on Earth.

IDEA STOLEN!!! This will be my children's crib. I, firstly, have the simple task of finding someone fucked up enough to want to procreate with me. Easy.

It may be a new ploy used by paedophiles to lure children to their house of fun but, even the most boring adult in the world would slide downstairs!

If you don't think this is genius then you should get the fuck off my page, mate!

This is my Settee where I have entertained many worldly people, famous and infamous....IN MY MIND!!!

Classic.

Would it be weird if fish watch you have sex? Who cares??! This is just delightful. That is until the great white will break the glass to get to it's meal. Up until then - bedtime would be so sweet!

It would be much greater if our countryside were littered with these pylons rather than the eyesores that currently haunt our lands.

I think I will start simple first as I, most of all, want my long hair back.

Much love,

Jackson L.

How rude!

2011-09-30T15:52:00.000+01:00

More and more my faith in humanity is tested day by day. I find myself getting ever more irate at people’s increasing stupidity, lack of courtesy, lack of decorum and general existence.

Today I went to the post office to pick up a parcel which I had the misfortune of missing due to life getting in the way. Regrettably I was given the opportunity to witness the bullshit humans are capable of. As I was leaving the post office a little old lady on a Zimmer-frame had the door slammed shut in her face. I felt like the worst person alive and it was not even me who slammed the door shut. In shock I told her that I would open the door for her and she was nothing but grateful for my most simple deed. She was a decrepit, feeble lady who could barely walk at snail’s pace and was having trouble balancing on her frame let alone struggle to open a door as well.

As I left the post office – I had decided to walk and enjoy the incredible weather we are having – I began thinking more about the utter shit that people are actually capable of doing without remorse. Around a week ago, I am not sure at what point during the day, it may have been during work, while I was at home when I was on the underground, at some point my car was parked and some total fuckhead who just does not know how to drive hit my car. Said fuckhead scratched the shit out of the front right hand side of it….and drove off. Said fuckhead did NOT leave a note on my windscreen to explain his complete and utter dicketry! What. A. CUNT!

While at work this week, I had to tackle some people who came in from a competitor store to basically scope the place out. You can always spot them a million miles away as they begin asking certain questions. As soon as you explain that you are not at liberty to divulge such information they begin their assault. Their particular angle was, even thought they are far more expensive than our competitive prices, was during our busy spells audibly bark our prices are too high and that you would get more bang for your buck elsewhere.

I responded, even more audibly:

“Can you please not say this in front of our customers? We are actually much more reasonably priced than other stores. Have you no class?!”

Don’t even get me started on the amount of times I have been on public transport only to witness the elderly board a busy train or a pregnant lady get on a crowded bus for only no one to offer their seat to these people.

Honestly, is this what we have come to?!

Manners cost nothing.

I think certain people need to be taught a lesson in a little thing called ETTIQUETTE!!!

Thankfully, I pride myself on my restraint. I am a firm believer in self-control and I like to avoid confrontation as much as I can but I will not avoid it at all costs. Sometimes to confront someone is the only way to get people to understand where you are coming from.

I leave you with an anecdote. A friend of mine parked his car in a parking bay with only a ten pound note and no change to buy a ticket from the machine. He went into a newsagent to break the tenner to get change for the machine. As he bought his ticket and walked back to the car with his ticket in hand, a traffic warden had already written out a ticket and placed it onto his car.

My friend explained that he had to get change as the machines did not take notes to which the traffic warden responds (like a first class asshole would)

“That’s not my problem!”

My friend, without hesitation, punched him in the face. The traffic warden fell to the ground. He picked up the ticket and saw that it was administered 3 minutes AFTER he had purchased his pay and display ticket which means it could have easily been resolved with the city council.

My friend was fined and had to serve hours in community service.

No good can come of violence.

Much love,

Jackson L.

World flags

2011-09-27T13:50:00.000+01:00

I forgot to mention, I stumbled upon this book in a rare books faire I attended in the West end recently as I am the most cultural muhfucka in this hemisphere, and I saw this:

I picked it up and looked through all the countries that had rich, somewhat recent history. I was surprised to see that the flag of Germany was indeed the Nazi flag and the Japanese flag was the flag of the rising sun. The American flag had only 48 stars as well. I found this little children’s book – valued at a mere 50 pounds(!) so historically significant! It was quite amazing as it is not really something we would consider.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Nobody likes a snitch.

2011-09-27T12:45:00.004+01:00

I am slowly beginning to resent my place of work thanks to a narcissistic, small, annoying, body-of-an-8-year-old-boy, douchebag! There are several reasons as to why I think she is nothing but a pathetic, insolent, flat nosed bastard. I rose above the inter-personal questions about my sex life (after having only known her for literally four and a half hours….give or take 3 minutes!), her shitty insecurities; letting me know all those who find her attractive, how her ex-boyfriend was ‘devastated’ when she dumped him and also how her current boyfriend’s friend asked for a threesome which prompted me to ask:

“Why are you telling me this?”

To which she simply sniggered. I didn’t even let her condescending tendencies scathe me as I just got on with my job – I’m there to get paid and then just get the fuck out – no socialising because the calibre of all (bar two) the people I work with are just cancerous. People get cancer from merely their presence! – so I just let it go.

The constant grammatical incorrectness I am constantly subjected to is just painful. I know I am not perfect but, fucking hell! Learn your singulars and your plurals. English is a simple language which is why it is just beautiful. God!!! In addition to all this, her boyfriend always comes in whenever she is working and even observing the catastrophic mismatch leaves me bewildered as to where and how there is any veneer of attraction whatsoever! I just like to pretend it is some sort of shitty façade they have as I refuse to believe they are or ever have been attracted to one another. It; in a weird, twisted way, reinstalls my faith in humanity albeit a slither of faith and hope.

I began to lose my tolerance with this undersized, petulant bag of testicles when she began to bitch to me about one of those whom I actually like. I did not like hearing what she had to say so I told her that I think she is being extremely immature, juvenile and that she should discuss her problems with said person rather than enact some sort of school playground play and be a little bitch about it. She did not take too well to my good advice.

Several weeks later, she decides to become a snitch. I am constantly going in and out of the managers’ office because, the new guy who she has taken a strong dislike to, is working with me to learn how to keep everything in working order because I am an awesome teacher. This vertically challenged asshole is snitching on everything. This is a piss take as even things that were most definitely not our fault are now blamed on us. No one likes a snitch, bitch!! This is why I have taken it upon myself to wind her up at every given opportunity. She recently got a shitty tattoo on her lower back – a tramp stamp – which has a very generic floral design with the word ‘love’ embedded within. I have asked her the reasoning behind this tattoo to which she gave an excruciating response to:

“Everyone should have love in their life.”

I took the liberty of further questioning her motives as I know a little bit of her history. I asked:

“Did you get that tattoo as you perhaps felt you needed reminders of the need for love in one’s life as maybe you feel your parents show a lack of love for you because they kicked you out?”

The look of sheer shock was utter jubilation to me. Once again she got very defensive and began giving me a lot of shit which I was not really paying attention to. The one aspect of her usual (shit) chat I registered was how she has come so far in her young life and how she is in the London School of Economics. To which I responded with:

“You’re in the LSE? They must let anyone in these days.”

Her jaw. The floor. Connection. Fantastic!

FYI, she failed her final year. Just saying.

I have now resorted to telling her whenever she has bogies in her nose – she is shorter than me…..you are probably wondering how I can see up her nose? Well, it is very flat. She is getting moderately self-conscious about it which is just great.

The last hilarious episode we were involved in was around the managers. I am reasonably tight with one of the managers. I overheard a conversation between the managers and this accomplished wanker and I heard her ask:

“How long have you guys been together?”

(The managers are married)

“Before we were married, for 7 years – engaged for 2 years”

“Wow! It is hard to stay together that long….”

To which I interjected and said – without a moment’s hesitation:

“…..only if you are a slut.”

BOOM!

Managers fell about the place laughing as I had my back to them carrying on with my work having said what I said, cool as a cucumber.

The small pathetic excuse for a human being went off on one once again, questioning what I was implying and really soured the mood. One of the managers asked her to calm herself down and tried to explain that I was only joking (even though I was not). I then threw petrol in the fire by saying:

“Well, every joke is laced with elements of truth but, let’s ignore …........’s little outburst which has soured the mood…and potentially ruined the evening for everyone.”

I can be such a tremendous fucking cunt. It’s great. I have also proven my status as a reliable, valued member of staff now as the ideas keep pouring out of me. I came up with a great one the other day which the managers are working on administering as soon as possible…..(as my good friend T’s legendary dad would say) “AH-THANK-YOHH!”

I am still to advise on other ideas for the coming winter months because I am a legend and most definitely thee greatest person at my place of work – no questions asked. I am even entrusted with the keys to the place now, that’s whassup!!!

Elsewhere in my weird, bizarre and fairly lamentable life which seems to get more and more depressing the more I go to work, I have taken solace in watching more rugby world cup matches.

New Zealand played the French in what was dubbed to be ‘the most exciting game of the world cup yet’. It did not disappoint. The best of the two hemispheres confronted each other as they so often do in the RWC and this time – for the All Blacks it was a grudge match. In 2007 the French hosts got lucky to knock out the all Blacks (a forward pass leading to a try) gave them a 2 point lead (with the conversion kicked). Yet another 4 years of hurt. Allegedly all the NZ fans agonisingly groaned when they realized the French were in their pool. The French are known as New Zealand’s bogey team – only at the world cup – as they have a history of defeating the All blacks when it mattered.

Nothing was going to stop the All Blacks, on Richie McCaw’s historic 100^th test match in an All Black jersey, from sealing a win against their French counterparts. What ensued for the next 80 minutes was sheer rugby beauty, eloquence and a master class at it’s most extreme. If you have not watched the game yet I strongly recommend it! It should be an advert for rugby.

You can see the highlights here.

Thanks for reading.

Much love,

Jackson L.

update....

2011-09-23T12:18:00.000+01:00

Well I have not much to say of late. I seem to be falling back into some sort of relatively normal semblance of routine again which took a while (following Ramadan). I now just seem to be going to uni, the gym and work.

I am prayer my tenure at university is coming to an end as I am getting really bored with it now. There is not much for me to do at the moment and I can’t keep more atop of things even if I try. And I have tried! I am still, much to my anguish, still in the recruitment phase of my research. It is also, unfortunately, well out of my control as I am offering people – with good incentive too – the chance to be screened and I have managed to get a decent number so far but it is not good enough at the moment for a research title. Honestly, if you get offered something free of charge, why would you NOT take it?! GOD!!!

The gym has been pretty good recently. Strength is on the up and customers at work have been complimenting me. I am a jacked muhfucka! One thing that has been pissing me off royally at the gym is the fact that several children – aged 13 to 16 years as well as adults who pretend to be serious about the gym incessantly talk shit to me! I have not yet reached my targets to allow me to work on individual muscle groups and also my commitments elsewhere only give me time to go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. This means I must do full body workouts and cardio every time I go which means I need at least 3 hours to get through my stuff! LEAVE ME A-FUCKING-LONE!!!

Apart for that, I am a total boss in the gym. Children look up to me and everyone else wishes they were me. Even the women.

Work has been good as well. I have finally developed some strong bonds with some of my workmates – namely a French dude which has started to work there. He is very French but very kool at the same time. I know what you are thinking – ‘paradox!!!’ But seriously, he is a top guy. In addition, a new girl has started who is a graduate from Oxford uni. She is a real smart cookie with the most beautifully eloquent, posh English accent. Neither of these people’s personalities offend me and I am able to hold more than just a moderately pleasing, food for thought type, conversation with both of them. The girl in particular. The Frenchman and I talk about everything from girls to games to sport. Real guy stuff! The girl is exceedingly able to have a deeply intellectual chat about virtually anything. Thankfully, I can now call these people my work colleagues/comrades as I was losing my mind and silently resenting going to work as everyone else had the most inoffensive, boring, lacking in justified (if any) opinion, shit chat ever!

Things are looking up for the JLQ.

I found out that my new life idol – Sonny Bill Williams (All Black) is a fellow Muslim. He decided to convert in 2008 as he was displeased with the direction his life was taking. I read a lot about his profile and some of the reasons he chose this faith and it was inspiring. Well done him and I wish him all the best. Might I add, he is the only person Muslim to ever wear an all Black jersey and to ever play international rugby while pursuing a professional boxing career. He is awesome.

In other news, I had a little laugh when reading the metro, as I do every morning, as I found that some retard was using her friend’s facebook pictures to seek revenge because her boyfriend dumped her. She was using picture’s of her friend’s baby saying that she it was his child. Sick, twisted bitch. Of course the powers that be at facebook had nothing to say as they are a bunch of disgraceful wankers. I am so glad I am without facebook. Nearly six months to the good! Yeah.

Much love,

Jackson L.