Annette

Day 26 - Christmas 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:23:00 +0000

I'm sort of cheating again, but I just got all the pictures uploaded from Christmas. So, this. This is the tree Caelen had in his room. It's awesome.

Day 25 - Disney

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:50:00 +0000

Yes I know it's cheating, but I'm my own boss here so...

I finally got all the pictures uploaded from our Disney trip with Marcia and Bruce in December. Some of them are Bruce's. The one above was taken in front of the Rock 'n Roller Coaster at Disney Studios. This ended up being Caelen's favorite ride.

Day 24 - In review

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:35:00 +0000

OK, it's time to look back at how I did with last year's goals.

1. Get Casey to stop thinking I'm mean. Casey and I really get along great and we have a great marriage, but couple my orneriness, (OK fine, bitchiness) with his sensitivity, and we have a gap. The thing is, I'm an INTJ so I can't help but judge. Can I help it that nearly everyone and everything is found woefully lacking? Including myself? Plus, I was a cheerleader and a sorority girl; I'm classically trained in snark. At the same time Casey thinks I'm mean, he also knows how thoughtful and generous I generally am and how nice I can be. He says all that makes the mean hurt even more. (Which might be my plan but whatever.)
Anyway, attacking this problem is a three pronged approach. First, I asked Casey to stop calling me mean. I'm actually not a mean person. I don't kick puppies, or throw things at homeless people, and I always offer to help out whenever I can. So, I asked Casey that when he feels I'm being mean, rather than saying "You're mean" or calling me "an ungodly bitch" (but really, that was one of my favorites), he say, "You're being mean", or "that was mean", or something like that. The second piece is a bit more PR. I tend to call out when I'm being a jerk but don't say much when I'm being thoughtful and generous or even nice. No more. I'm totally going to be a better press manager for myself. Finally, prong three is you know, being less of an asshole.

I suppose I should ask Casey the question directly. I really tired to direct my mean-ness in the appropriate direction and away from my default - Casey. I think he'd say I did better but have perhaps a tad more work to do here. I think I did a better job of emphasizing the times when I was not mean. I think Casey would now say I'm not a mean person, just one who is easily annoyed, and then not quiet about that. Because, whatever, sometimes I like being mean and sometimes people deserve it.
2. Continue to develop my relationship with Caelen, but make sure to keep boundaries in place. This is a balancing act. I want Caelen to grow up to be responsible and a good man and all that. But since our house does the disciplining and parenting, and he can't be with us all the time, it seems that all we do is correct and make rules and punish. Boring. So when I get the opportunity, I tend to overindulge him, and then later, when he isn't grateful for my effort, I get resentful. That's pretty much my pattern. This weekend (after taking the boys away for a fun weekend) Casey said something to Caelen about me that made me take a step back. He told Caelen that since I'm not his mom or dad, I'm under no obligation to him, that what I do for him is strictly voluntary. Caelen didn't grasp this fully, but I could see that this impacted him.

My goal this year is to remember that what I do for Caelen is my choice and to only do what I feel is important or want to do for him. I'll continue to be a home room parent and Cub Scout committee chair, and go to soccer games since I enjoy being visible and knowing what's going on in his life. Other than that, I make no promises, but if I feel resentful doing something for him, I'm not doing it anymore.
I think I did a good job overall - at least I didn't make any promises. There was a period this year where I really tried to disengage. And failed. I was trying to do what was best for me and stop being a martyr but I think it just came off like I hated being a stepmom. (Don't get me wrong, sometimes I absofuckinglutely do hate it.) But disengaging isn't my style; I'm a control freak and stuff just seems to work better when I have a hand in it. Yes, I know how that sounds, but it's totally true. I think my overall step-parenting philosiphy is to do whatever is working until it isn't, and then try something else. I suppose that looks a lot like regular parenting.
I love Caelen, he's a great kid and the only one I'll ever have that isn't covered in fur. I think he knows I love him. He seems to love me too. At least he hasn't tried to kill me in my sleep or anything. So, winning. At some point I want him to understand that about 99.5% of the stuff that pisses me off about being his stepmom has nothing to do with him.
3. Rock my career, yo. Getting a promotion and the resulting job transition has somewhat consumed the first quarter of the year. It's been stressful - the interviewing, the waiting, the guilt over leaving the old gig, the anxiety about the new, the ginormous learning curve I now face.
For the rest of the year, I'm focusing on learning everything I can about what I'm doing and finding two opportunities to add something from my toolbox to make things work better here.
So yeah, I killed this one! The above job was a great opportunity but by the end of the year I was offered (and accepted) an even better one. I didn't say I wanted to be a software quality assurance analyst when I grew up, but I totally should have. I rule at it!
4. I will be engaged in the lives of the folks I love who don't live in my house. I think I'm going to keep this on the list every year. This year I will visit my parents (at least one set), go to Waterloo/CF at least once, visit Candace in Las Vegas, keep my walking dates and girl days.
Through very little effort and planning of my own. I visited Mom and Terry but I did not make it to my hometown. I did go to Las Vegas and had a blast with Candace. Sarah and I walked some. Girl days happened. I also kept in touch with my awesome former eBusiness teammates. Dani, Karen and I even made it to Minneapolis for a weekend. I exchanged quite a few emails with family, which I suppose is better than nothing.

5. I will act like the patriot I say I am. Keeping this one too. But really, I'm so burnt out on politics right now. Ugh. Anyway, I'll continue to attend Liberty on the Rocks and I'll attend the straw poll in Ames this year. For the rest, I'll probably just throw in some money.

We have a Ron Paul sign in the front yard and Casey and I were poll watchers at the straw poll for him. Liberty On the Rocks is still a thing and I donated a couple hundred bucks. But that's it.
6. I will take time, whether leisure or otherwise, to learn and practice new things and view my world in new ways. Another keeper. Casey gave me a piano for Christmas and I've been working through a teach yourself book. I can play "When the Saints Go Marching In" from memory. It's fun! I'm taking golf lessons with Marcia. I taught myself how to knit cables and intarsia. So, even with a small amount of time, I'm in good shape on the learning. Go me! Other than that I want to get outdoors (I bought new hiking boots.) and into the garden (I bought new Wellies with paw prints on them.) Dani and I are signed up for another Warrior Dash.
I played some piano this year although I didn't get as far as I would've liked. I played a ton of golf, even joined a league, but I still suck at it. I did learn how to kmit cables and intarsia, and even re-learned how to crochet, but barely got any knitting done in the last half of the year. I used my new hiking boots once. I never managed to wear the Wellies or get a vegetable garden planted. Dani and I didn't end up doing the Warrior Dash. Casey and I went to Kansas City for a long weekend. I got to go to San Francisco for work and to Disney World with Casey's family.
7. I will attain a healthy weight and challenge myself physically. Oh how the mighty have fallen! (Actually, I never really was mighty on this one.) Let's just agree to note that I need to lose some weight, and move on, k? I already did the Red Flannel Run, and it was great! I bailed on the Power Climb. Saturday is the AIDS 5K, the Dam to Dam is in June, and the Des Moines Marathon is in October. Oh, yes, that's happening. Again. After my horrible experience last year, I can only assume that I did it wrong. It was supposed to change my life! I guess if just not being able to walk on my heels for a month is life changing, mission accomplished. Otherwise, no. I need a second chance. (And if that doesn't do it, third time's a charm, right?)
Lake. Big lake. I mean fail. Big fail. The Red Flannel Run was my only event last year. Marathon schmarathon. I started and stopped doing P90X a zillion times. By the end of the year I did get my eating back on track by kicking Weight Watchers to the curb and embracing paleo. My weight got a little closer to healthy with that. Not a lot, but some.
2012 goals to come.

Day 23 - telecommuting

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:09:00 +0000

This is my view about half the time when I work from home. She's surprisingly easy to work around.

Day 22 - mmmarinara

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:28:00 +0000

This is 106 ounces of tomatoes that we bought today at Costco, and I'm thinking it's not quite enough to make my yummy marinara sauce.

Day 21 (late) - David's birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:17:00 +0000

Caelen got to go to David's birthday party at Pump It Up yesterday. It was awesome.

Day 20 (late) social butterfly

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:53:00 +0000

This picture was taken Friday night at Carl's place. (I'm in it, so I say it doesn't matter that I didn't take it.) On the left is Holly. It was her birthday and my first time meeting her in real life. I've followed her on Twitter for a long time (her handle is @hollyegg) and before Friday I pretty much just knew that she rescues dogs for a living, is a Hawkeye fan and has a biting wit.

On Wednesday she tweet-vited me to her 32nd birthday celebration. And I went, even though I was by myself, and I knew I wouldn't actually know anyone there. And it was great.

I'm sure none of this is a big deal to some people. But it's a big deal to me. I cried more than once as a child just because someone looked at me. To this day, I get nervous in many social situations, and pretty much spend the whole time worrying about being the awkward, fat kid. However, I was fortunate enough to figure out (sometime in high school) that life is easier and more fun if I can at least fake being outgoing.

So that's what I did. After about an hour of that, I was able to unclench and actually enjoy myself. You probably can't even tell that this picture was taken within 15 minutes of my arrival. Right?

Day 19 - Hi, my name is

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:39:00 +0000

Today I attended a seminar/class on software security testing. It was great. Learning is cool. (Even if the instructor was easily ten years younger, yet still smarter than me.)

Day 18

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:12:00 +0000

Day two of accessories? Ok.

I bought this necklace in 2009 in California. My stepmom and I drove to Lake Tahoe and through California's Apple Valley, buying apples and eating pie at nearly every stop. We also visited several flea markets/craft fairs and I bought this at one of them. It's one of my favorite necklaces and that was one of my favorite days.

Day 17 - socks

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:34:00 +0000

I wore these Christmas socks inside my snow boots today since no one would see them.

I'm one step closer to leaving the tree up all year.

Day 16 - it's my Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:01:00 +0000

Since we're all off today, it's kind of like Sunday around here. Casey got groceries and I've been doing laundry, cleaning and cooking and getting ready for the week. And listening to great new (to me) music.

Day 15 (late) - cookbooks

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:58:00 +0000

We went through our cookbooks yesterday, and decided to get rid of quite a few. The two paleo cookbooks on top are new, and one of these days I'll blog about paleo eating, but not today. Quite a few of the cookbooks had very few recipes that are paleo so they had to go, like those dedicated to cupcakes. I couldn't part with MtAoFC -s , I'll figure out a way to make them work.

Day 14 (late) - Rodeo

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:48:00 +0000

Saturday we went to the World's Toughest Rodeo at Wells Fargo arena, and while I'd have to say I doubt it's the world's toughest, we had a good time. My favorite part was Team Ghost Riders. I mean, monkeys ridings dogs, come on.

Day 13 - a good effort (for me)

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:14:00 +0000

This is the first day that I had a plan for what picture I would take. I knew I'd get home with some daylight to spare, so I wanted to take one in my backyard, which is the best, yet most underutilized, (unless you're a dog who uses it as a toilet) part of the house. I actually ended up taking 30+ pictures. I'm posting three here, the rest are on flickr.

The first one is of Nala and a cup of coffee, two of my favorite things.

I took a bunch of Mimi running around outside. She loves the snow (and ice cubes). She's hauling butt in this one.

And finally, this is the one I planned to take. I love how the ornamental grass goes to seed, providing food for birds and is so pretty.

Day 12 - oh hai

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 02:03:00 +0000

I suppose I could just post pictures of Mimi and Nala the entire year. At least that way I'd enjoy them.

Day 11 - Meet Danny

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:19:00 +0000

This is a toy I brought from Disney World (specifically Expedition Everest at Animal Kingdom) for Mimi. In case you can't tell, it's a stuffed Yeti. For those of you who watched Friends you get why I named him Danny.

I crack myself up sometimes.

Day 10 - meh

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:37:00 +0000

The (unannounced to this blog) plan for the year was to take a picture every day and blog about it. I suppose I technically meet my requirement, but as a quality assurance analyst I can safely say I'm NOT doing a quality job. I mean, here is today's effort; it's like I'm not even trying.

The whole point of doing this was to get better at taking pictures, maybe even get comfortable in front of a camera myself, both things I say I want to do. Blogging about it is a way for me to keep track of the effort and be accountable. But basically, this is another thing that is sort of stressing me out and as a result I'm sort of half assing.

I think I'm going to keep trying for awhile - I have 356 more chances.

Day 9 - my shame*

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:57:00 +0000

This is a pile of Christmas ornaments from the basement tree. That I'm just now starting to take down. The other two are still up and fully decorated.

I suggested that we just leave the big one up, since Nala loves hanging out beneath it and it seems like a hassle to take it down. I figure it could just be the holiday tree and we can decorate it for Valentine's day, St. Patrick's day etc. Casey said this would be something crazy people would do.

I fail to see his point.

*Is there such a thing as Hoarders - Holiday Edition?

Day 8 - Massage

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:25:00 +0000

This is a blurry picture of the massage table after my massage was over today. I finally booked a two hour one! Yay! But I accidentally booked a deep tissue one. Boo!

Even my fingers hurt now.

Day 7 - Saturday night

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:21:00 +0000

Pretty much every Saturday (those we don't have Caelen) look like this. Casey opens some wine.

Casey cooks dinner. Most often NY strips, mushrooms and potatoes.

And I save some meat to give to Mimi.

Life is good.

Day 6 (belated) - my head asplode

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:16:00 +0000

The frayed mess you see here was one of Mimi's Christmas toys - a Kong reindeer. It didn't take her long to rip it's head off. When I noticed this on Friday it reminded me of how I was feeling, full of (mostly) good stress and totally wiped out, like my head exploded.

Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:44:00 +0000

I can't come up with a title for this post because really, what the heck is it?

On the left is a ceramic cow-shaped creamer that my sister, Michelle, gave Casey and me for our wedding. We love it and it stays out on the counter all the time. It's super handy for holding wedding rings while hands are busy scrubbing dishes. (This reminds me that Michelle just got married and I haven't sent a gift yet. Oops.)

On the right is a tub of grass that I grow every winter for Nala to eat. Which she later throws up and Casey seems pretty annoyed by, but neither Nala nor I care to stop.

Day 4 - floored

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 01:45:00 +0000

New job/old building. Carpet squares cover the old flooring. This one is loose.

Day 3 - more than necessary

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 01:42:00 +0000

This is a picture of my phone at work. It's much bigger than I need it to be. Like lots of stuff seems to be these days.

Day 2 - Preparation

noreply@blogger.com (Annette) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:48:00 +0000

The white folder is a welcome packet from the new job I start tomorrow. The blue padfolio has caucus materials and matches my red/white/blue outfit for the day. The brown padfolio has some information and ideas for the new job. The red binder houses my Franklin planner, without which I'd be lost.

So bring on the day. I'm ready.