Married to an Entrepreneur

3 Reasons Why I'm Divorcing Entrepreneurship

2016-07-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

Well let's just be honest.
It's been a long time coming really.

There were red flags and warning signs all along the road.
And really sometimes you just have to admit that even though you have spent time creating a life together that sometimes it's just better to just cut your losses and go your separate ways.

That's why I'm divorcing Entrepreneurship.

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3 Lies You Shouldn't Believe about Entrepreneurial Marriages.

2016-05-13T09:12:00.002-07:00

People don't tell the truth for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to protect themselves.
Sometimes they want to protect others.
Often they have something to hide.

Occasionally time has caused them to forget the truth,
or the truth has changed
or been redefined
or been lost.

Here are 3 lies you shouldn't believe about Entrepreneurial Marriages:

3 Reasons Why My Work At Home Spouse Is Ruining My Life

2015-06-04T09:53:00.001-07:00

My husband works from home and yes, it is awesome.......ly annoying.

In fact, it's ruining my life in a handful of ways.

The Dark Side of Entrepreneurship

2015-05-22T15:59:00.001-07:00

I have always been a huge defender of Entrepreneurship. There are seriously few things in this life that are as amazing to me as the fighting entrepreneurial spirit.
But that does not mean it's an easy road.

One night my Entrepreneur and I found ourselves both exhausted in the seemingly never-ending fight to get to the next level. Nights like those are probably NOT the best time to define the meaning of life, but, alas, we were engaged in an intense discussion about trying to figure out what on earth we were doing.

And once again I found myself defending entrepreneurship.

This time, however, it wasn't with a 9-5 co-worker, a corporate-for-life friend or someone who is way too scared of risk to dare the life of entrepreneurship.

Nope.

This time it was against my Entrepreneur.

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7 Ways to Keep Financial Harmony in Your Entrepreneurial Marriage

2015-05-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

In many ways, Marriage and Entrepreneurship seem contradictory. Entrepreneurship is typically a risk-taking solo act, while marriage is more about finding security and increasing unity. So when these two aspects merge alongside one another on the road of life they are bound to have some issues.

Research shows that finances, intimacy, child rearing and extended family issues tend to top the charts in regards to the top topics of marital disagreements. However, it is the topic of finances that predicts divorce better than other other marital issue. *

Which is why I believe it is vital to understand how money functions within your relationship because if you aren't paying attention it can lead down a road you didn't really intend to follow.

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5 Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Entrepreneur

2014-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

Entrepreneurship can be really tough on a marriage. Mostly because The Marriage tends to end up in the backseat on this one way street. And they say white girls can't rhyme. It takes A LOT of hard work to keep your marriage on equal footing when there's a startup romance blooming (or looming, however you like to view it). Today I am sharing 5 Simple Ways to Reconnect with Your Entrepreneur. They will take a little bit of effort, but they can pay off in a big way.

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Persevering in Your Entrepreneurial Marriage

2014-08-02T14:23:00.001-07:00

No doubt you've heard it before, that perseverance is the key to success in entrepreneurship. History is full of examples of entrepreneurs who have accomplished great things because they were able to persevere in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. An outsider may not be thinking that having to persevere someone who constantly perseveres would be a challenge, but if you are married to an Entrepreneur then you understand that statement completely.

Perseverance is also the key to success in an Entrepreneurial Marriage.

There came a point in my marriage that I realized that this love of all things Entrepreneurial wasn't just a fad, or a phase, and that it wasn't going away anytime soon.

This wasn't exactly an easy thing to accept for me.

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Married to an Entrepreneur: Making Room for Three

2014-03-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

When you are Married to an Entrepreneur you are also married to their ventures.
Three isn't a crowd in Entrepreneurial Marriages. It's the norm.

Finding your place in the mix can be a challenge.
Too involved in the business and it can get complicated.
Not involved enough and you can get blindsided.

Finding the perfect connection depends on need, abilities and desire.

Oh Pivot.

2014-01-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

Pivots are both common and critical.

While the idea of Pivoting is nothing new, the terminology for explaining whether someone made a good or bad choice when playing Monday morning quarterback is. To pivot implies that you are able to keep one appendage (foot/aspect of the company/purpose or goal) firmly in place as you shift the other in a new direction. Since this can happen in emails, tweets and board meetings on a daily basis, they are common. Because they can make or break a company, they are critical.

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On Deck at Married to an Entrepreneur

2013-11-12T19:49:00.000-08:00

We are about halfway through another line up of Married to an Entrepreneur Interviews.
Which is AWESOME and makes me really happy.

We've changed the structure and upgraded the layout. We will also be featuring our interviews in a regular weekly post. Should be cool. And really insightful.
I hope you'll like it.

I Declare Entrepreneurship.

2013-10-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

If you want to be a physician it takes years to get there.

It involves undergraduate education, medical school and graduate medical education. Only after years of schooling including clinical rotations and a residency program have been completed, along with the passing and approval of reviews and examinations, is a license for practice awarded.

Entrepreneurship is a little different.

Have you ever seen The Office episode where Micheal Scott decides he needs to declare bankruptcy? He stands in the center of the office and yells at the top of his lungs, "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!" {see it here}

Entrepreneurship is kind of like that. If you want to be an Entrepreneur you have to declare it.

While it may not always be declared in a public forum, Entrepreneurship is being declare every day. It is declared by your conversations and by the way you interact with those around you. You declare Entrepreneurship by the way you use your time and by the way you spend your money. Entrepreneurship is declared by the events you participate in and the people you associate with. It is declared at social parties, soccer games and dinner tables.

For me Entrepreneurship is declared when I fold laundry in the same room we call His Office.
It is declared when I park my car outside to ensure enough room for our inventory in the garage. It is declared when I answer the question, "What does your husband do?"
For two years, Entrepreneurship was declared when I went to work outside the home to make ends meet.

Entrepreneurship is declared in every aspect of our lives if we choose it. So the only question left is: Have you declared Entrepreneurship today?

To all of you who have, I second you.

Married to an Entrepreneur: Don't follow the Yellow Brick Road

2013-10-14T23:17:00.002-07:00

The road of life as the spouse of an Entrepreneur doesn’t start with yellow brick.

It starts with dirt.

So don't think you will be following a yellow brick road.

If you are married to an Entrepreneur you are going to build one.

brick

brick.

Married to an Entrepreneur: Featured on Forbes.com

2013-10-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

Excited that we had the opportunity to work with Kate Harrison at Forbes.com about Married to an Entrepreneur.

She completed a write up on us that was published today!

"Everyone knows that being an entrepreneur is difficult, but what about being the spouse of an entrepreneur? When Anna Stehrenberger married nine years ago she “was naively unaware of the roller coaster ride” that her life would become..."

To see the whole article, Married to an Entrepreneur: 10 Tips to Make it Work, click the link.

Feeling blessed.

Married to an Entrepreneur: One, Two, Three.

2013-10-03T11:27:00.002-07:00

October is our birthday month!!!

So naturally we bought ourselves an early birthday present.
Celebrating 3 years at Married to an Entrepreneur with a fresh design.
Hope you love our new look as much as we do!

P. S.) In honor of throwback thursday click here to read one of our very first posts.

Married to an Entrepreneur: If the Shoe Doesn't Fit.

2013-09-09T15:43:00.001-07:00

Ever feel like you are being asked to fulfill a demand that you just might not be qualified for? Like the shoe just doesn't fit?

Working with (or for) your Entrepreneur can present some unique challenges. Similar to our Entrepreneur themselves the "spousal role" tends to sprout from the needs of the company and not necessarily our direct skill set. This means that as spouses we may may need to mold our abilities, preferences, desires and expertise to fit holes that need filling. Which is why adaptability becomes vital for success.

This process usually involves a lot of trial and error. And sometimes it works out better than others, just fyi.

I've tried on thousands of shoes in this Entrepreneurial world. The shoes that fit me best are administrative in nature: editing and writing content, paying bills, managing schedules, ordering supplies, printing materials and making sure my entrepreneur is fed (do not underestimate the that last one). I'm also pretty good at answering phones, online research, customer care, taking notes, presenting data and I'm not afraid to speak in front of people, interestingly enough. I've learned that taking care of the details of running the business help my Entrepreneur focus on the big picture. It's worked for us.

I've screen printed t-shirts, washed cars, attended company meetings, negotiated contracts, interviewed potential employees, organized launch parties and headed a few company group therapy sessions. I have brought my babies board meetings and toted toddlers to events. For one business I had to mop the showroom floor on a daily basis. And one time I waited outside one of our investors' offices for two and a half hours to be able to discuss a pressing issue with him (probably one of my boldest moves).

Our shoes (and the shoes of our Entrepreneur) have different purposes for different reasons.

Some we will feel comfortable in.
Some we will need to grow in to.

Some might feel awkward and clunky.
Others will look really really good on us.

There will also be some painful shoes
And occasionally some really expensive ones.

Whether we sport them for just a season or end up wearing them for years, my advice: Get used to changing your shoes.

I don't promise it'll be glamorous. I don't promise it'll be comfortable. And I also don't promise you will be able to take them off at 5 PM. But I will promise that each shoe will teach you something worth learning if you take the time to try them on.

Married to an Entrepreneur: When it Doesn't Feel Like a Fairy Tale

2013-08-16T09:45:00.001-07:00

The following is a segment from the Season Finale of The Office:

Audience Member: "I had a question for Jim and Pam. Everyone watching sees how much you love each other and how you're soul mates. So Pam... how could you doubt that when Jim moved to Philadelphia?"

Jim {interjecting}: "Uh, you know I actually didn't handle that really very gracefully... from not communicating... to being a little selfish..."

{Pam touches Jim's arm}

Pam: "Listen. ummmm, I was scared."

"You know. I loved what I had and I didn't want to risk it."
"And I think that maybe I did doubt him a little too... "
"Which was wrong. And he has shown me time and again."
"When the documentary started airing people on the street told me that I had this fairytale romance. But, there were a lot of times last year where it DID NOT feel like a fairy tale."

"But then. It got deeper and it got stronger."
"And now, it's better than a fairy tale."
"It's like a long book that you never want to end and you are fine with that because you just never ever want to leave it."

I've been there too. Scared. Not wanting to risk it. A little doubtful.
I've been there when it did not feel like a fairy tale.

But then... something got better.

Sometimes it was me.
Sometimes it was him.
And sometimes {gratefully} it was the company.
Sometimes it was something really big, like a new partnership for the business.
Or sometimes it was something really small, like a new friendship for me.
One time it came in the form of a big health concern.

We all have unfairy tale like chapters.
And it's hard to keep perspective when you are right in the middle of it.
But keep reading.
You've got a long book ahead of you.
And SOMETHING will get better.

P.S.) I'm back.

Don't Cure the Entrepreneur.

2013-03-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

If there is one question I get asked over and over again it is this: When does my desire for security or stability or you-fill-in-the-blank-with-some-qualifiying-state-of-existance, outweigh my Entrepreneur's desire for pursing their passion?

As spouses of entrepreneurs, we don't want to kill the dream (or the dreamer for that matter). We don't want to be the reason that someone, aka our entrepreneur, doesn't achieve their potential. We don't want to thwart their passion or creativity or talent, BUT we would like some piece of mind when it comes to being able to afford groceries next week, let alone college in 5 years. We are curious if we will ever really be able to pay off the house, afford self-employed health insurance or if we can plan 4 months in advance and sign the kids up for summer camp. (Fill in your latest concern/expense/stress here: __________________. ) And life with an entrepreneur doesn't always provide warm fuzzies to those types of concerns. (Truth be told, desk jobs don't always either, but that's another post.)

There is a point in Entrepreneurial Marriages at which dreams hit reality and quite often that reality check comes in the form of the entrepreneurs' other half. Now obviously I won't be able to answer the question posed above for you...I wouldn't want to make myself liable for marriages and entrepreneurial ventures around the world. :) BUT I can say I've been there. So, in lieu of an answer I will provide some insight and here it is:

Don't seek to cure. Seek to curb. Not to restrict your Entrepreneur, but to protect your marriage. Remember the purpose of a curb is to provide a barrier. So define your edge and get curbing. You do that by discussing and addressing expectations, desires, limits, commitment and level of investment, both financial and emotional. And no book or magazine, or blog for that matter, can tell you where that edge is in your marriage. That edge gets defined by you and your Entrepreneur. That edge will provide room for your entrepreneur to explore and room for you to breathe. And while no one is perfect, the rims on most cars can attest to that, when you both know where the curb is the ride is much, much more enjoyable.

Refocused

2012-12-01T08:47:00.000-08:00

After yesterday's debbie downer post I decided to wake up to a fresh perspective today and remind myself not to forget about a few things...

Dear Self,

Don’t forget that you love your Entrepreneur. You love their passion and their drive. Don’t forget that there are few people in our world that wake up each morning living their dream. Your spouse is one of them. Don’t forget that your Entrepreneur loves you. They may appear busy or distant at times, but know that deep inside you are a big part of their motivation. Don’t forget that they need you to believe in them. Don't forget small acts of support make a world of difference. Don't forget that stability is overrated. And it doesn't create happiness. Don't forget to celebrate the ideas that work and learn from those that didn’t.

Don't forget to refuse to give up on the dream.

With love,

Your better self

Some days

2012-11-30T21:15:00.000-08:00

I am all for positive thinking.
But truth be told...some days it's not that easy.

some days i stress. i question. i doubt.
some days i worry and fret.
some days i envy.

some days i'm uncertain and lack confidence.
some days i hesitate or stumble.
some days i wonder what if... why... when...

but gratefully
some days
don't come
every day.

tomorrow anyway. :)

Please Excuse Me

2012-11-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

It has been 10 months since I last posted and here are 10 reasons why:

Number 1: I got pregnant.
Number 2: We moved.
Number 3: Twice!
Number 4: My mother-in-law got cancer.
Number 5, 6 & 7: She moved in with us. She needs a full-time caretaker. We are it.
Number 8: I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
Number 9: She has reflux.
And number 10: Quite honestly I was pretty tired.

Over the last year I have continued to read/study/interview/assess/dissect entrepreneurial marriages and it still fascinates me and I know it still applies to thousands of Entrepreneurial families and that is why I have recommitted to continue helping us grow and survive this life together. Because sure enough there is one thing that hasn't changed in my life and that is the fact that I am still married to an Entrepreneur.

So... here are 10 reasons why I am back.

Number 1: My Entrepreneur hasn't quit.
Number 2: Neither have I.
Number 3: I miss writing.
Number 4 & 5: I miss hearing from you and I miss learning from you.
Number 6: I love my marriage.
Number 7: I like pushing myself to grow.
Number 8: Life is short.
Number 9: I'm passionate about this.
Number 10: Passion should be pursued.

So here's to a renewed commitment to Entrepreneurial Marriages everywhere. Cheers!

MIB...Missing in Blogland

2012-01-19T17:39:00.000-08:00

Dear Married to an Entrepreneur readers and friends,

I will be returning to my regular postings soon.

Lots of updates and lots of progress and we are almost ready to share all the details.

- Mrs. Entrepreneur

PS) I have missed you.

10 Ways to Fight with your Spouse over the Holidays

2011-12-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

Just in case you run out of ideas on your own. Try these:

1. Inquire about recent purchases

2. Question parenting techniques

3. Offer unsolicited advice

4. Question their wardrobe choice

5. Ignore them for long periods of time

6. Pick up the phone in the middle of an important conversation

7. Be late, perpetually

8. Give excuses for everything

9. Emphasize your most annoying habits

10. Eat the last cookie

The HOLIDAYS.
It can be a stressful time of the year and yet it doesn't have to kill your relationship.
I promise.

Try any of the following suggestions and you are sure to warm up the holiday spirit:

chilling out. holding hands. snuggling. laughing together. counting your blessings. write a thank you note. calling just to say i appreciate you. helping a friend or a neighbor in need. picking up someone's order behind you in the drive-through. letting the dishes sit so you can relax together. watch an inspiring movie. talk about your dreams. express gratitude. go for an evening stroll. do the dishes without being asked. clean up an area you don't usually. drive around looking at lights. drink hot chocolate with marshmallowa.
call an old friend. smile.

It's a time of reflection,
a time of renewal,
a time to remember
and a time to rejoice.

Wishing you and your Entrepreneur a very
joyful, merry and bright Holiday Season!

7 Steps to Happiness.

2011-12-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

By Small and Simple Means.

2011-11-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

I found this on a friends blog.

It really reasonated with me and I wanted to share.

Todays Challenge:

Attend to your "to do" list with nobility and greatness.

Happy Monday!

Happily Ever After I Married an Entrepreneur

2011-11-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

Happily Ever Afters don't just happen.

They are created.

Sometimes we run after a happily ever after without really knowing what's in store. Which is why I am MORE than ecstatic to announce that Married to an Entrepreneur will begin offering a Marriage Coaching Program for Entrepreneurs!!! We are working with the Townsend Relationship Center, which is a phenomenal marriage coaching program and will be looking for couples who would be interested in participating in the coming months.

I am so excited I can barely stand it.

Lots of brainstorming. Lots of ideas. Lots of support.

I am so happy.

And so grateful.

Grateful for Entrepreneurs and their Spouses who have managed to keep it together without coaching. Excited to help prepare those who don't know what's in store. And feel like it just might be part of my life purpose to assist those who aren't sure if they can make it in an Entrepreneurial Marriage to find love again.

My dream is to create Happily Ever After for all Entrepreneurial Marriages.

And while that might sound crazy I think I will leave you with this quote to set the record straight:

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers.

The ones who see things differently.

While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world,

are the ones who do."

-Steve Jobs

Thanks...

Sincerely...

With Love,