The World Famous Jerry Lentz

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 07:41:00 +0000

I want to update this blog, as I have lots to say, done lots of stuff since I last spoke, but I feel maybe this project has brought me more trouble than it's worth... ...or maybe attempting to be friends with those who have become upset are more trouble than they're worth.

I'm getting so much closer to not giving a shit anymore that measuring its distance is impossible by any known means.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:02:00 +0000

JL2 got me a book about Jimi Hendrix, because she knows how much I love his guitar playing! She said, "I hope this helps you, but please, no playing the guitar with your teeth!"

Whenever I read out loud the cats gather 'round to listen no matter where I am.

I just watched an old BBC documentary narrated by Slash, it was really good!

I've gotten so many comments on this photo, people must really love Jimi Hendrix!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:48:00 +0000

JL2 is painting a portrait of a really sweet movie star and wonderful Facebook friend, can you tell, from this blurry photo and canvas wet with paint, who this is?

Okay, this is the beautiful Jewel Shepard! Jessica (JL2) wanted to make something Jewel can keep or sell, maybe Del Howison could sell for her. She needs all the help she can get, so if anyone wants to help out. Let Del, Jewel, or Jessica know!

You can contact Dark Delicacies!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:40:00 +0000

I ran a bath for JL2 and brought her some coffee. I asked her if she liked the bubble bath I bought and she said, "Can you get me some half and half cream, baby?"

So I went and opened a carton and when I came back in she was busy writing and I didn't want to disturb her, so I just poured the carton into the bath and she screamed, "NOT in the bath! In my coffee!"

I didn't know, 'cause I had been talking about the bath. She said it was expensive, but now she loves the way her skin feels!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:29:00 +0000

Mankind faces nuclear armageddon and must build colonies on Mars and beyond, Stephen Hawking has said.

JL2 and I were talking about this and terraforming and she asked me, "What planet would you like to colonize?"

So I said, "I'd like to try Uranus."

She said, "I bet you would, but that ain't happening!"

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 21:23:00 +0000

I was playing Alien Chess earlier while eating a bowl of noodles when all of the sudden I started having chest pains! I thought it might be msg or too much sodium, a heart attack, maybe even gas... It felt like something was trying to burst it's way out of my ribcage! Turned out I just needed to poop really bad!

And kids, this is where babies come from!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:19:00 +0000

Can you guess what song I'm playing in this picture? Here's a few hints; It has an icon guitar riff and sound and makes young girls in their 20s, 30s and 40s swoon! Oh, and it came out when music really said something and meant something, but only cool people dug it.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:05:00 +0000

Isn't weird when someone says they love you and want to spend all their time with you, but you say, "Let's live in separate houses, or at least in different rooms, because I snore!" And they go, "I don't care I love you and want to be with you!" So once you are together and some time has passed they begin saying things like, "Jesus Christ! Can you stop snoring! For the love of all that is Holy, if you don't shut the hell up and let me sleep, I swear to God I will smother you with your own pillow!"

Funny, where'd that love go?

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:01:00 +0000

PROOF that flying saucers are real! This is where science is magic!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 23:59:00 +0000

I saw this at a thrift store yesterday. I thought about getting it, but I had such an uneasy feeling when I saw it.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:55:00 +0000

I've been drawing quite a bit since I got a new stylus for the MacBook Pro trackpad, and I love it! JL2 was so kind to model for me! I'm not very good, yet, but I'll get better and better as time goes on. I have a lot to learn drawing on a computer.

Her arms are that high up, when she's chained to the wall of the basement.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

With our new metal detector I found what I thought was a civil war sword, but in fact it is part of a plow. I dug it up this afternoon! Very exciting! It's iron from Lynchburg Plow Works dated 1896. How cool is that! When I was walking the property, every couple of paces, I'd get a sharp signal of some metal. It was just too cold to dig. I know there's a chest of gold hidden out there!

I sure could use some old forgotten gold, silver, cash...

Some women just love giving me things! Today a very nice lady gave me a Bell & Howell Super 8mm movie camera! The best part was the cool leather carrying case. I can put booze in there!

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noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:05:00 +0000

Fairly certain this mirror will be on my album cover!

This is a cut from the soundtrack for my film, "The Cycle," a psychological thriller/horror film. I composed this in such a unique way that I believe I will continue using this somewhat experimental formula. I was highly influenced by John Corigliano's work with Ken Russell on "Altered States" and the use of unconventional instruments to create sound/music. To learn more visit me: https://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz

I hope you enjoy, however, it's not "happy" music.

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I got back the translation of my dictation and none of it is what I said, but damn, it's cool

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:55:00 +0000

"The ghosts in the house were waiting. They knew someone would come to them. Ghosts mean us no harm. They're never warm. You can see through ghosts like I can see through you. Him, him, him, him, him, him, he's the only one you think about, but I have friends and the pipes have frozen. This group's got your shit possessed, but there's more, isn't there? The gaping void where your sad soul sat. This and that be held close and over flame in dreams. The skeleton in you is a rattling. On the part of the brain that hallucinates, they speak to you in squeals like nails on a chalkboard and nails in the coffin of someone breathing in the dark of the box. If the cats see you wanting, and the half body gliding down the darkened hallway, they will know and judge with their eyes. The spark of his blood glitters the stairs. The knife shining in the light of the moon frozen above my neck like a dead star. The cries buried in whispers seep through the garden like
murmurs sifting through the rib cage. The slim candle flickers after flame, beats in the night wind and tries to snuff it out. The machinery of the old wheelchair is faulty with crumbling dark red rust, and screeches like rats burrowing their way to the soft brain through the eye sockets, reaching for warmth. It's a difficult way to grieve in the murky water, breath barely held as he fights to hold her golden haired head under the stagnant water of the garden pond. Dead leaves litter like skeletons of ships and decomposing hands and the water bugs skim the surface reflection. Black tadpoles silhouetted by the pale skin of her thin nude body swim, bloated and ill with plague these sick swollen sperm that are curiously investigating her body. There's a light in the window of the locked room in the attic. Something deformed looked out at me."

Weird, right?

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Jerry, Jerry, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 04:45:00 +0000

It's a Winter Window Garden started in the kitchen! We'll see if the deer will jump up this high to eat it! Got Spagetti Squash, Zucchini, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Egg Plant, Watermelon and Honey Dew! Now if I could only grow mushrooms and weed, but I just don't know where to get seeds!

It's great here! We got a new metal detector for xmas and I've found what we hope might be a civil war sword buried in the backyard! We have only uncovered about 12 inches of blade, before it got too cold.

I hope to find a box of gold, too!

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CrapBook Pro

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:18:00 +0000

Dang! I need to keep the office closed to kitties! One of them pooped on my laptop! GROSS! The heat of the MacBook acted like an Easy-Bake Oven and turned the droppings into something not unlike the texture of a piping fresh oatmeal cookie, hard on the outside and gooey on the inside. I bet it tastes like shit, though! Them kittens are too young to know that was a wrong thing to do, so neither of them look guilty.

But I will get my revenge!

One of my favorite radio dramas was a version of, "The Tunnel Under the World" by Frederik Pohl, and tonight, unable to sleep even though heavily medicated with sleep inducing drugs, I found in my collection of books a copy of "Simulacron-3" by Daniel F. Galouye. While reading it, I was surprised how similar it was, so after I was done, I looked online to see whose work was first, it was Pohl's, but the more interesting fact was "Simulacron-3" is what, "Welt am Draht" by Rainer Werner Fassbinder is based on. Now I need to see it!

Went to look at an old tractor the other day. I'd really like to have an old time one. This one was probably from the 17th century and the farmer told me, "It still runs, but it's old and it shuffles like an old man. It threw one of it's coils out, but it ran like a dream."

I laughed and said, "Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil."

He squinted his eyes and stared, then said, "You ain't one of them queers are ya?"

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Start of something very similar...

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 02:08:00 +0000

...but kind of the same.

I haven't written anything in a while here. I've spent most of my time on Facebook. I did participate in the National Novel Writing Month event where you have 30 days to finish a 50,000 word novel. I reached my goal in 7 fun filled days. Now I'm thinking I'll try to write a novel every week.

Starting today; I'm writing one (50,000 + word) book a week! Exercise daily! Get the garden going! Start back to blogging! Start back to podcasting! Learn guitar! Learn hypnosis! Paint more! Build projects! Start acting workshop back up and MAKE MOVIES!!! We can do it!!!

Dexter de Cat (See above photo) was helping me write. He's a very helpful boy! He has lots of great ideas, he loves a good story with a chase, like the one about him chasing ladybugs, chasing his sister Marcelline de Cat's tail and the high tech spy thriller involving him chasing the dot of a red laser.

Thanks for your continued support,
Jerry

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I want to shut my eyes and sleep it all away in a dreamless coma!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 23:11:00 +0000

I'm touched by all the personal messages people are posting about what Steve Jobs meant to them. People that weren't even Mac users seem to get how he changed the world. I remember when people told me how they felt when Disney died, or FDR, or John Lennon, or JFK...

I was so depressed, but reading his quotes and the lovely comments from the people touch by his work has somehow filled me with a kind of joy. Isn't that strange?

I was just informed me that the assholes at the Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest at Steve Jobs's funeral. Why can't "Anonymous" do something about them?

What a GREAT time I had last night! JL2 bought a brand new mower that turned out to be 50% off!!! Couldn't believe the luck on that! Then she bought a skill saw that we've really needed! She also bought strings for the electric guitar and a cord to the amp! Oh, I had the best club sandwich I've ever had, and it was like two meals, because I ate half and got full, so into a box went the other half that became my midnight snack! It was like the best day EVER!!!

Then…

I knew the wonderful feelings I was having last night would have to be ground down and chiseled away today. I'm just not strong enough to keep trying to get along with assholes.

BTW, I spell assholes, c. u. n. t. s!

Enjoying today's chore of unfriending Conservatives, Teabaggers, Christians, Sunnis, Shias, Sikhs, Hillbillies, Meanies, Thugs, Terrorists, Gangstas, Oil Industry Employees, Banking Industry Employees, Monsanto Employees, Halliburton Employees, General Electric Employees, Publishers that ripoff writers, and people that use interns for free labor only! If you are any of these please unfriend me now!

It appears Sarah Palin might be under investigation for soliciting contributions under the guise of a possible run for the presidency when money was probably laundered through a cross-country family vacation. This might be getting good!

JK Rowling is one of over 60 people lining up to expose the truth and sue Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch's other fake news provider, the now defunct paper, "News of the World". I can't wait until Fox News also shuts down.

Two News items; Want the Good News or the Bad News first? "Male Circumcision Is Medically Beneficial, Experts Say" and "Research Reveals Oral Sex May Be Leading Cause of Mouth and Throat Cancers" Just when I thought I was getting ahead by being married, these doctors have to go shooting their mouths off and jerking me around emotionally. This News SUCKS!

YOU have to WATCH this video right NOW!!! It is life changing! Pass this on to all your friends and family!

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noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 22:29:00 +0000

Doing all we can to support our local Occupy Wall Street protests, i.e. Nashville and Huntsville... Even Jack De Cat got involved, but he is so lazy he wouldn't get up to do anything but chew up his little protest sign. Slacker!

Because we think ecologically and try our best to live a "Green" lifestyle and reduce are carbon footprint, we're letting our lawn grow tall and then cut it to make alcohol in my still. We burn the alcohol in the generator to make electricity. All the energy is collected in batteries that also store the power from our windmill, our watermill, our methane generator and a small amount of solar. The solar is mainly used to separate hydrogen from water. My Honda Civic will soon run on hydrogen. I'm starting to grow weed to make clothing and brownies... I forgot the rest of what I was telling you…

This is so sad... One of the people that has changed my life is so many ways has died.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 03:20:00 +0000

When I was about 12 years old my doctors, therapists, and counselors had Mensa contact my mother for a meeting in a big house. I took some tests and then a group of people met with her and for some reason they made her upset, so we left. I never knew what happened but I believe money was involved. Now whenever I have the need for nixtamalized corn flour, I think of what could have been.

If you have a Pole Dancing Video, please send yours to Jerry Lentz to see if you can win!

For some reason I have this strange tingling feeling all over my body. I've had it for the last few days. The bed seems to be spinning. It's another night of not sleeping. I'm sure I'll be sleepy today. Please make me feel better.

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 22:01:00 +0000

This sure is frightening! Need your help! As you know, I've been watching one or more movies a day for this website. However, I don't have cable, dish, Netflix, or even a tee vee... I've been watching films online, or borrowing DVDs to watch on my MacBook. So, I need you to post a film you think I should watch that is available on the web! Make it a good one!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

Look at that girl above! Did this young girl wreck the economy? Did she steal your money? Did she not pay taxes because her lawyer found a loophole? Did she foreclose on your house? Why is she being arrested for participating in her legal right to peacefully protest? Our nation's founders declared their independence on July 4, 1776, to break free of the tyranny of a nation that denied them the civil liberties that they believed all people were granted as a birthright. They reaffirmed that faith in independence from governmental tyranny with the ratification of the Bill of Rights in 1791. But Freedom cannot survive when those in power make exceptions to the First Amendment for speech they dislike or criticism they would rather not hear. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS NOW!

Now what have those dumb shits have to say about that!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:57:00 +0000

That tee vee show, "The Playboy Club" got cancelled? Dang! I didn't even get to see it? I haven't even seen the magazine in years. I picked up a couple of issues that promoted that show for something like 60¢ a few weeks back and I still haven't even looked at them.

Amanda Knox just got offered $1 Million to pose nude! What a welcome home treat! Haven't heard what magazine, yet. Anyone know?

Can you find the old Drive-In Movie Theatre you used to go to in these old newspaper ads, or hear the local radio station you used to listen to when you were young? Did you see any of these films? What's your best drive-in movie memory?

Last Train to Lentzville!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 22:33:00 +0000

Please come and visit it online! Five beautiful acres teeming with a multitude of inspiring subjects waiting and ready to become the next global art star. Nestled upon the highest point of foggy valley and surrounded by a dark forest, bubbling creek, eerie creatures, glowing eyes, and slithering reptiles, this lil' shoppe is a factory of ideas and handmade goodness. The craftsman and artisans are never satisfied until your wonderful purchase arrives safely to your home. They are also eager and willing to provide you with custom and commissioned art work, please message us. We love to talk while we make things!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/JerryLentz?ref=pr_shop#

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noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 22:14:00 +0000

JL2 has been doing my genealogy and from that we found a long line of navy men, submariners, ship captains, and other kinds of semen...

This is my great-great-great-grand pappy who suffered from something called paraphilic infantilism, but back then they just called it, "poopy-pants," and with that he took over as cap'n of a ship and later died of dysentery on the Pacific island of Nauru.

I dunno, he looks a lot like me. Maybe I should dress up as him for Halloween.

I feel like a tool!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerry Lentz) — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:58:00 +0000

I used to have quite a nice collection of tools! I had power tools, tools for precision work, tools for specific and delicate crafts, but when I moved I gave them all away. Why? I just thought I had no need to ever use them again. I had no idea what was just around the corner.

Now I have the space for a movie studio, so I need to build props and sets and rigs to hold lights…

I need to build frames and stretch canvases for JL2 paintings.

There's so much to do, but I haven't any tools or supplies or lumber, yet.

Feel awful today! So you know what to do; You are my medicine, make me feel better! My throat and sinuses closed up and I've been having these really horrible coughing spells. The wind has been blowing, there was a fire down the street, the field across from the house was bush-hogged... Just so many reasons for me to be inhaling particles. I even got out the Neti pot.

Please make me feel better!

ESP, JL2's 13 year old kid came in my room and said, "We saw a UFO flying over Nashville today!"

I asked her to describe it and she said, "It was round and shiny black and it reflected the ground under it."

Did you take a picture of it?

"No."

Did you have your camera?

"Yeah."

You didn't think to take a photo?

"Uh, no."

Why?

"Because mom and I both saw it with our own eyes!"

Ugh...

JL2 and ESP went yard-sailing and they got me 2 DVDs "Closer" and "In the Bedroom" 2 films I like a lot.

It was my intention to start another fast this month, but feeling this way kinda made that look like an awful idea, so JL2 made me Angel Biscuits, Chicken Salad and Grape Salad... and it was GOOOOOOD!

Oh, and for dessert Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake? Uhhhh....

OMG! I can't believe I was thinking of fasting this month!