Susan's Blog

Birthdays

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:45:00 +0000

Let’s get real for a minute. Those who know me best know that I’m not crazy about birthdays. The aging isn’t the problem, it’s all the birthday stuff. All the pomp and circumstance junk and hoopla—it doesn’t come naturally, probably never will.

And, here’s my real issue with my birthday. Every year, I fall into the “all about me” trap, which, for a self-absorbed-prone person, is dangerous. At the onset of the day, if the fairytale birthday scenario isn’t playing out in my home, than I’m immediately disappointed, and there’s this little voice in my head that says, “This day sucks. Who can I blame?”

Well, duh. The person I can blame is ME. Ouch, did that realization hit me like a ton of bricks this morning around 8:00 a.m. Hello, Susan! You’re a mom, you’ve got a fifty-point list that needs addressing STAT! Yikes! Let’s go!

Here’s what I do love about birthdays. Once the self-absorption is stuffed into the drawer (next to pity and sulking), I can sit back and think, awesome, I am still on this ride called life. And it’s just plain awesome. Much doesn’t go as I would like it to, but a whole lot sure does, and I’m just grateful for today, and I hope you are too.

And, don't feel sorry for me---there's a decadent steak in my future this evening, as well as a weekend away with my husband. Yes, life is good.

And how about this blog? I’m not doing a great job with it lately, and am at a bit of an impasse with it (more on this soon).

I’ll do a quick March update in a few days, but for now I’m going to enjoy some cake with Ave!

Havoc

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:51:00 +0000

I don’t often admit to this, but there are some perks to being a stay-at-home-mom. Yes, I’m quite a bit poorer, and not very fashion-forward, but the upside is that I get to relatively float through my day, tending to the needs of my household. I love it and hate it, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

One of the fun things that I get to do is participate in a lot of daytime mom-focused activities. At a recent gathering the guest speaker posed a riveting question. She inquired, “Why did you have kids?” I thought, “I love this. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Let’s stop the mindless mommy-talk, and filler chatter, and get right to it.” I’m sure some people felt uncomfortable, but for me, it made me sit up straighter, and listen more attentively. I started nodding and thinking, “Yeah, I’m with you. Impart some wisdom, get me to think beyond what I’m making for dinner tonight.”

The room was quiet, and then a couple people spoke up:

“I had kids because they make me happy, bring me joy.”

“So they’ll take care of me when I’m older.”

As if on cue, dancing in from stage right, came little Miss Judgmental Susie—the Queen of the all the answers, rolling her eyes, and boastfully snickering and laughing. Thankfully, I managed to keep my mouth shut, but that didn't stop Susie from thinking: “Kids aren’t going to make you happy, and they’re not always going to bring you joy! Crazy! And, have kids so they’ll take care of you when you’re older? Huh?”

Hearing others' motivations was very enlightening. I didn’t necessarily agree, but it did prompt me to ponder my own.

Four days of pondering ensued. I pondered when I carried my screaming two-year-old out of church like a sack of potatoes. I pondered when our household was bathed in sickness. I pondered when Avery woke me up at 3:00 a.m. announcing that she was about to be eaten by an alligator, or when she declared that I was the “meanest mom ever.” I pondered when Avery asked hard questions, and I literally felt like I was watching her mind grow. I pondered while listening to Romey giggle, or watching her dance and twirl. I was stuck. “Why did we have kids?” —living the American dream? The natural next step; what you’re supposed to do?

And then I had it—a lightbulb moment. Maybe it wasn’t my motivation I should be considering, but perhaps I should be wondering what God had in mind for us. What did God desire/intend for Dan and Susan (a.k.a. Avery and Romey's parents), and how did He plan to grow us throughout our parenthood journey? In other words, why did God allow for us to become parents? (And why does He trust us so much?!?)

I didn’t know it at the time, but soon learned that having kids would break me of my own self-sufficiency. Parenting would bring me to the ledge, push me harder, and expect more of me than anyone or anything had ever before. Parenting would be physically more demanding, and more emotionally taxing than I ever expected it would be. It would reek havoc on my life and my relationships. It would, at times, be exasperating. It would wreck me. And, it would lead me to God, on my knees begging for mercy (and help!). (And to think I'm just *warming* up.....)

And there’s my answer: having kids has reinforced my need for God.

I’m watching my girls grow while they un-intentionally help grow me—funny how God works.

0 for 2

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:57:00 +0000

It’s a good thing that my sense of self worth doesn’t hinge upon whether or not my children like me. Today I’m 0 for 2.

Sadly, it’s been one of those days where the litanies of words coming out of my daughter’s mouth have literally sandbagged me. By 8:00 a.m. I heard, “You’re not a nice Mommy!”; “This breakfast is gross!”; and “I want a new Mommy!” And, to make matters worse, a listing off of names with whom Avery deemed to be acceptable replacements/upgrades followed “I want a new Mommy.” Great, let’s put names and faces to her back-up plan; women that I’m certain don’t want the job.

It was interesting whom she mentioned—I won’t call them out on the blog, but she actually made great choices, and in an ever so polite tone I relayed that observation. I told her that she “was stuck with me but that maybe she could discuss it with Daddy tonight.” By the way, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.

But, oh, how in an un-perfect moment I would have loved to ZING her and spat something equally as ugly as “I’d like a NEW kid, like so and so.” Wow, that would have been extremely regrettable.

So, how do I explain that the “grass isn’t always greener” to Avery? I don’t suspect she’d quite understand. And I don’t think she’s really all that serious about wanting to swap out moms. Sincerely, I think she’s looking to get a reaction, and today it worked.

In either event, I think I’ll aim for 1 for 2 tomorrow. If I can just get one of them on my side….cue PR campaign now.

Year-end wrap up

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 03:38:00 +0000

I have sort of ‘coasted’ on the blog lately. The end-of-year busyness and recent parenting challenges have prompted me to choose loafing instead of writing. I really do love to blog. I often say that the blog is about Avery and Romey for the sake of Avery and Romey. I love that they’ll one day be able to get a better sense of themselves but that they’ll also get a better sense of their biggest fan—me. And, as a side benefit, if you find reading the blog fun, or relatable, than double bonus. I'm glad we can connect in this way.

I have found that with each passing year it’s becoming increasingly more clear that so much in life is uncertain, and with that uncertainty I have to believe that it’s commonplace to ponder what my role will be throughout my daughters’ lives. It’s obvious that I was part of God’s plan to bring these babes into the world but will He also allow me the gift of mothering, knowing, and loving Avery and Romey until I’m eighty years old? I realize this is typical end-of-the-year thinking as we close 2009, and anticipate what 2010 may or may not hold, but, alas, it is something that's on my mind.

So, before the year is over, and since I managed to gloss over a couple big things, I thought I’d do a quick year-end wrap up. Enjoy!

October 2009 Re-cap—Halloween—The chick flies again

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 03:34:00 +0000

It pleases me greatly to see “stuff” getting used again and again. I’ve passed a few things on to friends, and honestly LOVE it. So, when Halloween came around, I poked through the closet and found Avery’s chick costume. Luckily, it was the right size, and would fit Ro perfectly. Great, Ro’s a chick. Then the fun part: What’s Ave? A farmer? How about an egg? I know! A PRINCESS.

Well, Halloween was terribly cold so we pulled out last year’s costume and offered her an option: be a monkey, or be a princess wearing a coat? The moral of the story: both girls wore costumes that one or the other had previously worn. It worked, and Halloween was a blast (thanks in part to my glutton-for-punishment sister Lea).

Lea and Ro chicka-boom

Cold kiddos

November 2009 Re-cap—Mexico

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 03:18:00 +0000

November was a bit of a blur. Daylight savings time always messes with us a bit, as well as increasing four-year-old drama. You know, when every phrase or happenstance is book-ended with words like forever, never, or in the whole wide world? Plus, coaching Avery on relational stuff with her friends and classmates…..UGH. I really dread the teenage stuff.

In November we also hit the circus, and Romey started showing in interest in the potty (a parenting milestone that nearly broke me with Avery—see summer posts from 2008).

MEXICO. Can you believe it? Dan and I went to Mexico, and it was AWESOME! We toasted our ten-year anniversary with a seven-day trip to San Jose del Cabo Mexico. I can’t really explain all that had to happen to make this trip a reality. I’m so glad we were able to go because it was fantastically relaxing, and fun, and relaxing, and warm, and restful, and relaxing. Little typed words don’t adequately express our gratitude toward those that made this trip possible. I know some of you are reading this so please know how grateful we are (that includes you DM, CM, LM, MB, TM, SM, RN, KN, DZ, DS, and many more).

We were extremely grateful (albeit tired from a major Romey sleep strike) on Thanksgiving, and checked that holiday off the list, and stumbled into December.

Enjoying a Cuban cigar

Amazing beach

Dan and me at the beach

A little slice of heaven

Corona boy

December 2009 Re-Cap—Enigma, Tornado, Buttons, and Hells Angels

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 02:51:00 +0000

December. Glad it happened; even more glad that it’s over. Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m a bit of a scrooge. The ‘stuff’ of Christmas and the consumerism of it all really wear me thin. It takes a major effort to dig up my Christmas spirit, oh, but I get ahead of myself. (I do have a new Christmas tradition I’d love to share with you. More on this later).

We started the month with Avery’s first parent-teacher conference. It went well. Some things are going really well for Avery at school, and some things aren’t going so well (Ave, we'll talk about this someday if you really want to know. In the meantime, it would be helpful if you wouldn’t scream at the top of your lungs when you flush the school’s potty. Thanks.). In short, Avery’s teacher feels that she is an enigma, prompting me to ask: is there a school for enigmas?

And then the tornado blew through, and Romey turned two. Wow, she’s a doosy. A lot of fun, but boy can that kid scream!

Happy 2nd Birthday Romey!

And then one day Avery decided to stick a button up her nose, and the interchange went a little something like this:

Avery (who was up in her room for a time out): Mom, I’ve got something to tell you. I’ve got a button in my nose.

Me (looking up Avery’s nostril and not seeing anything): What? Are you telling me the truth?

Avery (getting anxious): Yeah, I’ve got a pink button up my nose.

Me (grabbing my emergency stash of gummy worms, handing it to Ave, and calling the doctor): Okay, let me call someone.

So, I called the doctor who asked if Avery was breathing normal (yes), and was she passing air through both nostrils (yes, I think so).

At this point I’m not convinced that the crazy kid really put a button up her nose, at which points she starts sneezing, and sneezing. I ask her to blow her nose really hard, and wouldn’t you know it…..THERE’S a BUTTON in her NOSE! A pink button!

I’m crying and laughing and trying to pry the button out of her nose. I finally tweeze it out and am so taken aback by what has just occurred that I collapsed on the floor crying, and Avery and Romey join in, and it’s just a big hot mess. No one ever warned me about this kind of stuff. And here’s the documentation, and Avery you OWE me BIG for this one.

And speaking of owing us big, we’ve got some fantastic footage from Avery’s Christmas program. She was an angel, and opted to do the opposite of what she was supposed to—laying on the floor, funny faces….we were *proud*.

And another trip to Nebraska went bust due to the out-of-this-world snow accumulation, and nasty winter weather we received. We had a quiet Christmas this year, topped off with a pizza and a movie (and me in between--see below).

Regrettably we didn’t send out Christmas cards this year because Dan’s pesky i-Phone wouldn’t sit still or make a nice smiley face (since his phone is part of our family.....). I just kind of gave up on the idea by the time the third week of December rolled around, so figure I’ll give it my best effort come winter 2010 but don’t hold your breath….

Okay, it’s a wrap. Cheers 2009!–what an amazing year! We certainly are, without question, out-of-this-world blessed.

See you in 2010!

Gorgeous Romey

Avery and Romey by the Christmas tree

Cutie pie

Snow bunny sporting her new Hanna gear!

Tornado

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:44:00 +0000

Dear Romey,

Twenty-five days ago you turned two. As I’ve indicated in previous blog posts, I’ve felt the ominous two-year-old stuff approaching for months, sort of like a scary storm moving in on the horizon—the kind where you want to run into the basement and hide, but then you realize that there is no basement, not even a house! Instead you have to stand in the rain, and plant your feet firmly on the ground, and take the pelting rain, hail, and sleet LIKE A MAN.

Allegory aside, someone must have read my blog post to you; you know, the one where I laid down a mighty challenge for you to “up your game.” You have not only managed to “up your game” but you’ve surpassed my (and your father’s) expectations and have become a high-knee-foot-stomping-screaming-roaring-arms-crossing-irrational-tantrum-throwing-TORNADO. You, my dear, are a force to be reckoned with, and if you weren’t my second child, I’d be taking this behavioral stuff personally. Instead, I’m chalking up this behavioral shift to a natural developmental phase called two-year-old negativism (mixed with a side of passion, temper, and frustration). So, that, Romey, is the reason why I’m twenty-five days late with my birthday wish to you. I have been busy going toe-to-toe with you, and when not so engaged I’ve been recovering.

And, of course, there’s another side to you as well. You are unabashedly sweet, smiley, friendly, and happy-go-lucky. You are also mischievous and sneaky, and fiercely independent.

Your perfect day includes anything Elmo, or Yo Gabba Gabba. You love juice (“joo”), candy, cookies, and anything Avery is eating. You are fearless, and love to leap and be caught. You absolutely love being read to, and piles, and piles of books are often an indication of where we’ve planted for the day. You love to cuddle, and are still a hopeless mama’s girl. You love your pacifier or “Bobby” (Daddy calls it ‘Robert’) and your purple blanket. You don’t know this yet but YOUR New Year’s resolution is to give up your “Bobby.”

You love to imitate frogs and puppies, and get a real thrill out of playing with animals. And, your little vocabulary continues to grow—mama/dada has recently been upgraded to mommy/daddy, you are combining words, and overall just understanding more and communicating more clearly. Your favorite words are ‘mine,’ and ‘no.’

Your appearance still, at times, takes me by surprise. You have gorgeous deep brown eyes that look just like your Great-Grandpa Hofmeyer’s. You are unexpectedly blonde, blonde, blonde, and have a killer smile. I would say that the Hofmeyer DNA runs strong with you (even beyond your appearance).

Romey, your dynamic little persona continues to amaze us. You are a tremendously fun and spicy addition to our family. And, although I sometimes linger outside the van, where the screaming is slightly muffled, and I’m silently (or audibly) missing my “old life,” I hope you know that you are sincerely loved and I feel privileged to have you.

Happy belated second birthday little Ro—you are loved.

Love,
Mom

Decade

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:13:00 +0000

On December 17, 1999 Dan and I tied the knot. I was 22, and a new college graduate, and Dan was 21, and had just finished his last college final one-day prior to our wedding nuptials. It was a crazy time, and we were excited to embark on our *grand* post-college adventure together.

We left college with the arrogant notion that the world would be waiting for us—we had shiny new college degrees and “Boy, wouldn’t some company be lucky to have us!” Naturally what ensued was quite different—temp jobs, selling cell phones, secretarial work, rental properties, hand-me-down furniture, folding chairs, Hamburger Helper.......

I fondly reflect on our beginnings because in some respects it was an easier time. We hadn’t acquired much, weren’t responsible for much, weren’t too jaded, were relatively trusting of others, and hadn’t dealt with much adversity. Through ten years (plus) we have had some great triumphs and have had some great disappointments; taken some risks; made some good decisions and some bad ones; loved well and loved terribly; shown up and checked out; been lucky and un-lucky; and mostly we’ve just been us—flawed, still learning, making amends, laughing a lot, and attempting to extend undeserved grace.

There’s so much about Dan that I love but mostly I’m so grateful for his friendship. Dan is my best friend and he is the funniest and most fun person that I know; he’s loyal; he’s real; he’s seeking God; and he’s a tremendous father. There’s no one else that I’d rather be “in this” with than Dan. Thank you, Dan—I sincerely love doing life with you. Really, I do. I really, really do.

Unemployed

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:04:00 +0000

Avery really likes to draw. She’ll draw Dan and me, or Romey, or her house, a helicopter, whatever—she’s a creative (or so it seems).

Last night Avery was drawing and alternately distributing pictures to Dan and me. Each time she’d say, “Here’s a picture. Make sure you show it to your parents.” It’s a natural conclusion that while at preschool Avery’s teacher is telling her to “show her picture to her parents.”

We decided to dig a little deeper and asked Avery, “Who are your parents?” She replied, “Well, Uncle Tommy, Uncle Jake, and Matt.” We corrected her and told her that we (Dan and Susan) are her one and only parents; no one else, just us.

Her response will go down in Avery history: “Well, WHY are you guys my parents? Tell me the truth!” Naturally these words were accompanied by an emphatic bummer sigh. Sorry to disappoint, Avery. Which leads me to share these Donald Trump pictures of Romey—Dan and I are SO FIRED!

Romey's Donald Trump inspired hairstyle

"Mom! You're fired!"

"Dad! You're fired too!"

"And you too blog-readers!"

Snapshot—Fall 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:09:00 +0000

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, one of the primary reasons that I blog is to ‘record’ Avery and Romey. I take a lot of pictures, and video, but I don’t journal, and am a Creative Memories dropout. I have aspirations of putting together yearly photo books, but…….yeah, in the meantime, I’ll just blog it. So, Ave and Ro, this one’s for you.

*********************

Romey—Gizmo

Let me start by saying that I love reading dooce.com. I don’t always agree with the author or appreciate her language, but I think she’s a great writer with a terrific story re-telling sensibility. Ah, story telling.

Anyway, she wrote this paragraph about her youngest daughter (approximately four months old):

“You are what I call The Ruse. And I am not falling for it, not one bit. No way. I'm guessing your kind is evolution's way of sustaining our species. Because you and your irresistible cuteness and mood could fool a woman into having lots and lots of babies. BUT I AM NO FOOL. You know why? Because I have already lived through the third year of someone's life, and I know yours is coming. And when it hits, when you throw your body across the floor in a fit of rage, I'll be all SEE! I KNEW IT! Behind all those smiles and adorable dimples lies an evil three-year-old!”

I read this and laughed and laughed and laughed. I think I might have even stood up and clapped. Why? Because, sometime over the last month, someone snuck into my home and dripped a little bit of water onto my sweet Romey’s head. And then, before my very eyes, Romey transformed from a little cooing Gizmo into a ferociously screaming Gremlin. And, let me tell you, it just gets downright ugly sometimes, and I can’t believe that I was stupid enough to think that Ro would skip past this tumultuous toddler stage. Yes, we still have glimpses of Gizmo, but boy, can that Gremlin make her presence known.

[My editor just informed me that Gizmo becomes more aggressive/mean/naughty if he's fed after midnight, and he multiplies if he gets wet. Details, details.....you get the idea.]

A typical Romey moment now often includes: a dirty look or two, screaming, kicking, and/or full body tantrums. She often will exercise her ‘right to refusal’ card and can be downright impossible. Yes, we’ve ushered in the two’s, and the great thing about Ro being my second child is that I’ve learned from past experience to just step over the tantruming child, and am often overheard saying, “Save it, sista!” or “work it out!” A golden rule: you just can’t reason with a tantruming child.

On a happy note, amidst all her tantrum throwing, Romey has managed to put on a little weight, and is now filling out Avery’s 3T clothing. Romey’s vocabulary is expanding as well, and her favorite words are: juice, mama, dada, gum, baby, bye bye, Avery, and a couple of others that I’m having a difficult time recalling at the moment.

*********************

Avery—The X-Files

Avery has become our Queen Negotiator, and, at times, will use her manipulative prowess to get what she wants (I don’t know anyone like this).

Here’s an example: Avery spies a blue bottle of Gatorade, and says, “Oh, I’ve never had a blue drink before.” Then she dutifully waits, and bats her eyes at whomever is drinking the blue Gatorade. And then the drinker (who can not resist Avery’s charm) offers Avery a drink, prompting Ave to spring up and say, “Sure! I’d LOVE some!” Note: If the owner of the Gatorade bottle had not shared, then they likely would have been ‘X’ed.

Ah, the ‘X’ syndrome. We’re just coming out of the two-week period of intense ‘X’ing. Avery would draw a picture, and then ‘X’ some one out of it. Often that some one would be me, and Ave would explain that she had done so because sometimes “you (me) were naughty.”

Exhibit A and B: Mommy with an 'X'

It seemed that everyone had their turn with a ‘X’ on their face. Finally, I got a little fed up with it, and hastily drew a picture of Avery, and then put a giant ‘X’ over her drawn face (not her real face). Somehow, I’m not sure why, but that interchange got the point across. Remember, I don’t profess to be good at this parenting thing; just trying to muddle through it. I will say, though, that ‘X'-ing Avery worked, and the ‘X’ is ‘X’ed for now.

Avery has also become very, very imaginative, and can often be found building a ‘house’ (a chair with blankets), or a ‘hospital’ (a table and a blanket). Tea parties are still a big hit, as well as Candy Land, Hungry Hippos, Hi Ho Cheerio, and Play Doh. She loves to write, and has become even more infatuated with all things princess—Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc.

Avery created a 'video' of Dan and me.

And—my least favorite Avery update—I’m noticing that Avery is steadily becoming more aware of how other’s feel about her. She’s concerned with whether or not someone will like her, and if they’ll be nice to her. I hate to see her so ‘affected’ but know that we’re ONLY at the tip of this ice burg (more on this later).

*********************

Have a great week, and Happy Fall!

End of Summer Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:16:00 +0000

We decided to take an end-of-summer train ride to Chicago, and, gratefully, my sister was able to join us. Note: success = number of adults exceeding the number of children. As you'll see, the girls thought Millennium Park was the coolest! It was a terribly fun time, and I'm so glad we did it! Enjoy!

Lil' Stevie

I absolutely LOVE this picture. So cool!

The Bean — Millennium Park

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:13:00 +0000

The girls thought 'The Bean' was really, really cool!

Downtown Chicago

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:12:00 +0000

The Crown Fountain — Millennium Park

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:08:00 +0000

The Crown Fountain was a huge hit! And, the photo below of Ro, is one of my most recent favorites of her—just happy and smiley!

Story Telling

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:28:00 +0000

Someday, many years from now, I plan to take Avery out for a girls’ night out of sorts. And, over margaritas and chips I’m going to tell her about the time I came to pick her up from preschool, and caught her whipping her spare pair of underwear at her classmates. And, I’m going to tell her how loudly she was laughing, and how all eyes were on her, and how she just kept whipping and whipping the underwear around and around and around. I’ll tell her how I stood there staring, and how, as we walked to the car, I sternly told her that she’d have to tell her father about this one. And I’ll tell her how she told Dan, and promised that she wouldn’t do it again. And I’ll tell her how teaching her manners, and what is/isn’t appropriate was the most MADDENING aspect of parenting, and how I plan to laugh my butt off when Avery’s daughter is taking her to the cleaners, and leaving HER face down in the carpet BEGGING FOR MERCY.

And then I’ll finish the story by telling her that she broke her promise to her father by engaging in panty whipping AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. And then how we completed the cycle again: told Daddy, promised not to do it, but then did it again AND AGAIN. And then I’ll tell her how the teacher pulled me aside and said, “The four year old class doesn’t need to bring spare clothing. We covered it during the Orientation session. Certainly you were there.” And then I quipped, “Well, yes, but I was too busy nursing my bad attitude while simultaneously praising God that preschool was starting back up ALL WHILE chasing a ping pong ball and playing Mad Libs! Holy heck! Could you have told me she didn’t need spare clothing after the first whipping offense? Help me, help you, help me here lady!” C’mon!

And then Avery and I will toast our margarita glasses, order another round (charge it to Dan), and hopefully laugh, cause that’s the only way to muddle through this. Cause, really, life is pretty doggone good.

Mad Libs

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:31:00 +0000

Finally. After a long, long, grueling, and, at times, boring summer, school started today. The heavens opened, the angels sang, and we made our way to another preschool orientation session. I’d love to say that this preschool orientation session was full of new and helpful information, but alas it was remarkably similar to last year’s. The primary difference between this session, and last year’s session, was that last year I was smart enough to hire a sitter for Romey. There’s nothing like sitting through twice-hashed information chasing a ping-pong ball around the room---a ping-pong ball that has an extreme fascination with babies (and at a preschool orientation session the baby population is booming). And of the said babies, some of their mothers are quite cool with a ping-pong ball stopping and admiring, and others who are like, “Get your ping pong ball out of here! This orientation session is life-giving and extremely interesting!” You know you’re listening to a preschool teacher speak when there are multiple props (some of which make cool noises), and he/she tends to converse like you’re playing a game of Mad Libs. And by that I mean that the speaker is speaking and periodically pausing so you can ‘fill in the blank.’ And while the speaker is waiting for you to ‘fill in the blank’ they are courteously turning their head and cupping their ear because doing so allows for them to HEAR YOUR RESPONSE MORE CLEARLY. What?

So, I’m chasing a ping-pong, playing a little Mad Libs, and had a moment of, “Ugh. This is me.” I am the mother of a preschooler. I drive a mini-van. I have a fat tush, and am wearing some seriously slouchy clothes. I love this stage of life (really do) but sometimes I feel a little….ugh. And then I snap out of it because I know I have much to be grateful for, and should play Mad Libs with a joyful heart. But, selfishly, sometimes I don’t want to play Mad Libs, and am hopelessly faking it.

For tomorrow I’m praying for an attitude adjustment, and hoping that it takes root before it’s time to take Avery to Disney on Ice……

The first day of 4-year-old preschool.

Wow! She has changed a lot in a year! Check out last year's first day of preschool picture.

Wrapping up August

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:01:00 +0000

Today is Friday for me. Well, actually Thursday, but Dan’s off tomorrow, so it's Friday in my book. We're at the onset of a four-day-weekend and I COULDN’T BE MORE EXCITED. In addition to the summer blissfully coming to an end, I’m also a stone throw away from Avery starting school. She goes back on September 8, and instead of moaning and groaning about not being busy enough I will soon be moaning and groaning about being too busy. Although, I must admit that the idea of getting back into a regular routine sounds mighty attractive. Instead of indulging my desire to hang out in our pajamas all morning long, Ro and I will be shuttling Avery to school three mornings a week, and then she and I will do some mix of working out, errands, Bible study, and so forth. I really love fall. We’ve had the most beautiful stretch of 60/70 degree days and I COULDN’T LOVE IT MORE. Really.

We’ve wrapped up August doing our regular life stuff—some fun outings, some good times with family and friends. And it just feels weird that summer is already over. It’s been a lot of fun, although I’m glad to be hanging up my cruise director hat. Avery starts each day with, “Where are we going today, Mom?” And, she’s never satisfied with any type of errand or a visit to the store, but a park is acceptable, but a play date with a friend—Wow! That's the prize that earns me a: “Mom, you’re the best!” I'm not the best, though, when I'm constantly having to break up a heated sibling-rivalry face-off. I HATE IT. Avery can be so mean to Romey. I just don't get it. I feel like I say, "Don't pick up your sister!" or "Please listen!" no less than fifty times a day. And then the biting starts.....

And while we’re discussing Mom-Avery conversations/interactions I’d be remiss to not mention that Avery is stammering again. The doctor says it’s completely normal, but sometimes it’s just downright painful to wait for her to get her point across. Sometimes it is so bad that it sounds like a car is revving up. Combined with Romey’s grunting and mumbling, I feel like conversation in my home set up for failure (or hopelessly doomed cause we all know I'm a great conversationalist!). My name is Susan Nelson, and I do reside with the Stammer-er and the Mumbler, and all day long we look at each other and ...... laugh..... and attempt to decode all the expressive (and excessive) verbage. Yep, I'm on a thrifting hunt to see if I can’t find a coupon for BOGO speech therapy sessions!

And, when she’s not stammering, Avery’s favorite thing to do is play duck-duck-goose. When we play duck-duck-goose Avery’s eyes light up, and she giggles with excitement. While my family was in town recently they all agreed to play duck-duck-goose, and Avery LOVED it. My brother was ‘goosed’ and he was one heck of goose. Way to go, Tom! (Lea, you’re next).

And, I feel as though I need to post a ‘Headcount, Part 2.’ Although we’re not chiseling our decision in stone, we are putting our ‘lean or sway’ on the Internet (and that’s one step closer to picking up the chisel): we’re feeling as though we’re meant to be a two-kid family. There. I said it.

Seriously, we’ve had recent moments of clarity where we’ve felt that two is enough (actually, we’ve sometimes felt that two is more than enough; like maybe we’re already one beyond our limit!). We’ve spun the wheel three times, came out with two healthy, happy kids, and are feeling content. Instead of increasing our fold, we plan to focus on the children we have, and doing our best to raise them well. Based on what we believe to be our threshold for parenting well, we are embracing the magic number of two. And, since I’m posting this online you’ll undoubtedly be hearing an unplanned pregnancy announcement from us soon!

Have a FANTASTIC weekend, and, if we’re not connected via Facebook or Twitter, here are some of Dan’s recent Twit videos:

*Ave Abracadabra
*Ave wishing she were a penguin
*Ave sharing a tootsie roll with a dinosaur @Brookfield Zoo
*A summer-time meal
*Rockin' Ro
*Ro saying bye-bye
*Monkey Joe’s
*Ro Tinkerbell

Avery riding the carousal at Brookfield Zoo.

Avery with a dinosaur

Ro, Dan and Ave -- I love these three.

And, one last picture with Avery and a dinosaur.

Three

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:30:00 +0000

Three quick pieces of information worth sharing (so you can't say that I didn't tell you so!):

Number 1: Romey is a biter. Yes, when the golden-haired one is frustrated she bites. Romey bites people; she bites furniture; whatever or whomever is closest. I've heard stories of Dan biting kids when he was a wee lad, and he still admits that as an adult he grits his teeth when he's angry. I guess you could say that he's passed this lovely trait to Romey. Consider yourself warned.

Number 2: Traffic cameras are extremely accurate. Those traffic cameras near stoplights (know the ones?) are NOT FOR SHOW. THEY ARE FOR REAL. And, dammit, they busted me crawling through a right turn lane, red light scenario. Dammit!

Number 3: You'd be CRAZY to not take advantage of KMART double coupons week. It's seriously easy. Even if you don't need anything or have large amounts of discretionary income, maybe you could pick up some freebies and donate them? I know this is a little bit corny, but I'm very proud of my thriftiness, and so I took a picture of my loot (just like my favorite sites do!). Plus, I've marked the items that were either free or near free (and some rough estimates). Check out this site if you want to learn how to do this!

6-pack of Bounty paper towls ($1--Used KMART bucks to subsidize)
6-pack of Quilted Northern toilet paper ($1 --Used KMART bucks to subsidize)
3-pack of Sparkle paper towels (50 cents/piece)
4-pack of Angel Soft toilet paper (50 cents/piece)
1 package of Chinet paper plates ($1.50)
3 bottles of Listerine mouthwash (one free, two for $1/piece)
4 Right Guard Fast Break deodorants (50 cents/piece!)
2 trial size Skintimate shave gel (free!)
2 trial size Edge shave gel (free!)
2 AXE shower gels ($1/piece)
1 Suave bodywash ($1)
2 bottles of Vaseline lotion (free!)
1 10-pack of Bic razors (free!)
2 Sure deodorants (free!)
2 Dove deodorants (free!)
1 Tag deodorant (free!)
1 Tag deodorant spray (free!)
2 Pert Plus shampoos (50 cents/piece)
2 Clean & Clean moisturizers ($1.50/piece)
1 package of Pampers Easy-Ups ($7)
2 packages of Visine eyedrops (free!)
2 Dial pump soaps (50 cents/piece!)
1 Softsoap pump soap (free!)
1 Dove bodywash ($3/piece)
1 Reach dental floss (free!)
2 containers of Juicy Juice juice ($1/piece)
2 Lysol Neutra Air air fresheners (free!)
8 Nature Source spray cleaners (free!)
1 Arm & Hammer bathroom cleaner (50 cents/piece)
1 Arm & Hammer laundry detergent ($2)
1 bottle of Lime-Away ($1)
2 bottles of A-1 steak sauce (40 cents/piece)
2 packs of Trident gum (free!)
4 packs of Scotch tape (19 cents/piece)
1 jar of Welch's grape jelly ($1)
1 bottle of BBQ sauce ($1)
1 bottle of Dawn dish soap ($1)
1 bag of Dove chocolate ($2)

TOTAL: $42! ($7 of which is diapers!) Go! Go now!

Headcount

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:03:00 +0000

I recently saw an advertisement promoting having more kids. No, it wasn’t really, but it was a masterfully orchestrated picture montage of a family of five. Naturally, the track was a lovely song; not the real audio of what must have really been going on to elicit such beautiful facial expressions, and loving gestures from all parties involved. Dan and I watched it independently and came to the same conclusion: we want more kids.

Of course, if you ask me after a full night’s sleep if I want more kids, the answer would be yes. If you wait until the be-witching hour, then I’ll tell you I’m done. If you ask on a Monday, I’ll say no. If you ask on a Saturday, I’ll say yes. Dan is also non-committal. Sometimes he’s misty-eyed and sentimental about the whole idea. Other moments he’s racing out the door before his alarm sounds.

And yet, we’re very aware that we’re smack dab in the middle of this window of opportunity. The time is now. Make a decision. Don’t get ten years down the road and regret not gutting through the newborn/toddler stuff.

Something (aforementioned advertisement) or someone always manages to conjure up the feelings of “Are we sure? Really, really sure?” Are we meant to be a party of four or a party of five? Do we really understand what it would be like for the dynamic duo to gain strength (and numbers) to become the triple threat and possibly EAT US ALIVE?

Transitioning from one child to two nearly did is in, and I wonder if going from two to three would be the final ‘nail in the coffin.’ And, even if we did put our hat in the ring, it certainly doesn’t mean that we would get pregnant. But, if perhaps we tried, then maybe we’d feel like we had done our part, and God would orchestrate it as He saw fit.

I think that God wires some people to handle bigger families, and sometimes I feel like maybe I’m wired to handle two. I want to know my girls. I want to provide them with as many opportunities as possible. To me, more than two children often sounds incredibly overwhelming, and yet some people raise three (or more) children artfully and gracefully.

Some good friends recently announced that they were expecting their first child, and Dan and I were (are) over-the-moon excited for them. Later, our sinister side sort of laughed about it, “They don’t know what they’ve just signed on for! This baby is going to kick their butt!” Of course, we were blissfully ignorant once too, and, those that see us/know us can vouch that we’re still getting our butt kicked.

Something unexpected happened: when this parents-to-be couple made their announcement I didn’t feel, “Gosh, I wish it were us.” In fact, I said, “Gosh, I’m glad it’s not us.” I felt like, “Hey, we’re beyond this. We’re done having kids, and we’re gleefully passing the baton.” Maybe?

I know one of my friends is reading this and saying, “Go for it!” She’s my dreamer friend, and full of faith that it will all work out. Realistically, though, I think I’m a little faith-less. Would another child round us out perfectly? Can we afford it? Is having another a responsible choice?

So, we’re going to pray about it through the end of the year, and see how we’re feeling at the beginning of 2010. If you’re in the same boat, and would like to share, I’d love to know how you’re processing your family’s ‘headcount.’

His and Hers

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:40:00 +0000

It was bedtime and Avery was going about her typical nighttime routine. I stopped in to check on her and found her with her pants down, standing, facing the toilet. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was getting ready to use the toilet. I nervously laughed it off and told her that girls sit down when they use the potty.

Guessing that she hadn’t dreamed up this new method of using the toilet, Dan asked her about it the next day. Avery reported that she had seen little boys at camp standing up at the toilet, so Avery thought she’d try it that way too.

As you might have guessed Avery doesn’t know that boys and girls are anatomically different. The topic hasn’t come up. She hasn’t noticed, hasn’t asked about it, and is basically clueless.

And now we’re at a crossroads. Do we tell her? Or do we just wait for her to come upon this information on her own? This is one of those moments where I feel like families with children of both sexes are at a real advantage. It seems that it would be a casual teaching moment if the older child came upon the younger child getting their diaper changed, and the parent generically stated that boys are made one way, girls another. Case and diaper closed.

So, I’d love some advice. If we tell her, will it make her inappropriately curious? Or, if we don’t tell her, will she freak when she accidentally comes across a male classmate in the preschool bathroom? What do you think?

Dusting off the blog

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:56:00 +0000

I really do love to blog. Really.

“My name is Susan Nelson, and four weeks have passed since my last confession (or commentary, reporting, whatever).” I’ll do better. Since my last post, here is what we've been up to:

*We've cruised down to Bloomington a couple times over the last several weeks. My parents just bought a new home that backs up to a lake. It's cool that our visits now include fun outdoor activities like kayaking and fishing. It's a little sad, though, to say goodbye to my childhood home.

*Romey had her 18-month well check visit. Although Romey hadn’t lost any weight, she hadn’t gained any either so the doctor is feeling a little concerned. I love it when the doctor looks at me like I’m withholding food from my child (I'm smiling, really). Romey is making some progress verbalizing her wants/needs, but overall is still a little delayed. We recently had a second speech evaluation and the therapist was thrilled with Romey’s progress. Romey is signing more words, and is doing more word approximations (i.e. making a sound similar to the actual word). Ro’s biggest deterrent continues to be…..well, Romey. Her passivity, and shyness aren’t helping matters.

On the flip side, we know the ‘wheels are turning’ as Romey will follow directions, shakes her head yes or no, and more. Romey has also started marching, jumping, and singing. We’re beginning to see the onset of the “two’s”—more tantrums, more testing, more expressiveness all around. I’ve said it several times, but it bears repeating—“Ro, you’ve got to up your game. We’ve seen so much worse.”

On a totally un-related note, Romey is now mullet-free. Thanks to Dan's sister Tessa, Romey is now sporting a very cute haircut.

*Dan golfed.

*We celebrated Dan on Father’s Day. Dan is a great father. I always sensed that he would be, and certainly haven’t been disappointed. Avery and Romey hit the jackpot by scoring Dan as their pop.

*And then Avery had Camp Discover at Glen Ellyn Bible Church. Holy heck was that a week to remember. It was terribly hot, but terribly fun too. Avery loves hanging with her old mates, and some new mates too, so it was a win-win all around. Except for the day that she didn’t want to leave…..that didn’t go so well, and required the help of a near stranger to get my brood to the car. I think I might have growled at her to subdue her, but I can’t be sure. If the idea of another child had even been open for discussion the decision would have been made right then and there. Signed, sealed, delivered. Locked up, put in a safe, and thrown to sea. More on this later.

*Dan golfed some more.

*Around the beginning of July we started planning our second attempt; that is, trying for a successful trip to Nebraska. This time we actually made it across the Illinois border, and then gleefully crossed into Nebraska. And to think that all it took were mountains of DVD’s, a lot of toys, and several bags of candy. Seriously, the girls did amazing, and we were actually able to do four-hour travel stretches at a time. A few of the rest stops had parks and that was a tremendous help. Overall, we had a GREAT trip, and a super fun time connecting with the Nelson family.

*And then it was Avery's turn for her well check appointment. Ave continues to be in the upper ninetieth percentiles for height/weight (she's so tall!), is on track developmentally, and also gave an impressive personality demonstration. Two lines I won't soon forget—"My name is Avery Bauer!"—when the nurse asked Avery what her first and last name were and Avery chose to give her classmate's name instead. And, Avery vehemently and crossly yelling, "Don't do that to me again!" after getting a couple of shots.

In other Avery news, Avery had her first round of swim lessons (in the month of June). Her and four other kids were assigned to instructor Dana, and it's safe to say that Dana had her hands full. Avery's report card stated that Avery "needed to work on listening" and that it would be best to "repeat level one." Oh well. Maybe we'll try again next summer. The good news is that the park district camp was a fantastic fit (although it only lasted for two weeks).

*My high school friend Jill visited last week, and it was really great to see her and catch up. Part of her time in Illinois included a visit to Bloomington to meet up with one of our other high school friends Kristin. Although much time had passed since we last saw each other, we were able to easily re-connect and reminisce about the good ‘ole days (well maybe not ‘good’ but definitely different from what we're currently up against). It was awesome. I'll post pictures of our visit soon.

*Dan golfed again.

*Ave finished camp this week, and brought home a nasty flu strain. Thankfully the weather is beautiful, and we’re enjoying a quiet weekend at home. And, Dan told me at dinner last night that he’s got five golf outings planned for August. Words couldn’t express my feelings, but I’m certain the look I gave him did. It’s an ongoing discussion that Dan has more fun that I do, and that I’m his ‘fun-enabler.’ I need to start having more fun! :o)

Til next time!

4th of July and Nelson extravaganza

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:38:00 +0000

Avery with her very first sparkler (courtesy of Aunt Lea)

Avery and her cousin Addy

Dan and his Mom

Dan and his Grandma Daryle

Four generations

Dan's sister Katie and Avery

A Romey smirk

Romey and her nemesis Cleo the cat

Nelson family

Our family

All of the Nelson grandkids

Dan's Grandma with all the Nelson grandkids

Grandma Daryle with the Nelson kids

On our way back to Illinois

Flower child

Fishing and Kayaking

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Dan's catch

To Ave, "flossing" is a small price to pay for a kayak ride.

Ave took a kayak ride with my Dad. She loved it!

And it's a wrap.......

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Nelson) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:52:00 +0000

Thank goodness birthdays only come once a year, and, luckily, our girls' birthdays are six months apart. The next couple posts are a virtual picture parade documenting Avery's birthday celebration that seemed to span over three whole days.

Thanks to all of you that made Avery's birthday so special! I know she felt very, very loved!