Too Much Apple Pie

Could be worse

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:10:00 +0000

Linking to five-year-old pop videos as if they were brand new; it's what I do best. In fairness, though, I've only just discovered this song this week and cannae get enough of it.

(Don't try this at home, kids)

Steso Songs - The Worse mp3

Capricornia

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:50:00 +0000

It's the new single from Allo Darlin'!

Allo Darlin' - Capricornia

First heard this last night on Gideon Coe's 6 Music show and didn't immediately place it as being an Allo Darlin' song, despite the fact that we go back years. But you know those rare occasions when something jumps out of the radio at you (not literally) the moment you hear it? That's exactly what happened to me with this song. And you can imagine what a pranny I felt at the end when Gideon revealed who it was by. (Also quite relieved to know that my critical faculties were still intact.)

It's the debut single from Allo Darlin's forthcoming, second album Europe, which, rather than being a musical tribute to Joey Tempest and his hard-rocking Swedish pals from the 1980s, is actually, as Elizabeth herself puts it, pitched "Somewhere between A New England by Kirsty MacColl and Cattle and Cane by The Go-Betweens. I think this song [Capricornia] is the closest to that.”

The album's not due till the spring but what a great start to the year this song is!

Song of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 20:41:00 +0000

There can't be many songs that would leave you feeling joyful, sad and nostalgic all at once. But the Divine Comedy's At The Indie Disco is definitely one of them, if you happen to be of a certain generation and disposition. Simply devastating.

Join in, swing your pants

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:15:00 +0000

The Monkees go A Cappella - with highly impressive results. Merry Christmas, pop chums!

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

El lobo rabioso la quiso morder,
Mas Dios poderoso la supo defender;
Quisola hazer que no pudiese pecar,
Ni aun original esta Virgen no tuviera.

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

Este qu'es nacido es el gran monarca,
Christo patriarca de carne vestido;
Hemos redemido con se hazer chiquito,
Aunqu'era infinito, finito se hiziera.

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

Pop Quiz, hot shots

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 21:03:00 +0000

Just in case you were in any doubt as to the the sheer wondrousness of the internet age, I give you, in its entirety, the Christmas Eve 1984 edition of Mike Read's Pop Quiz!

The Christmas Alternative (Spotify Playlist #10)

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 09:16:00 +0000

Christmas time, mistletoe and w- not on my watch!

(as ever, click below to listen)

1 The Joseph & Mary Chain - The Twelve Days of Christmas
2 The Sweptaways & Magnus Carlson - Cry Cry Christmas
3 Les Paul - Jingle Bells
4 Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad
5 The Monkees - Riu Chiu
6 The Sweptaways & Marit Bergman - Christmas Party
7 The Futureheads - Christmas Was Better in the 80s
8 The Springfields - Jingle Bells
9 The Cory Band & The Gwalia Singers - Stop the Cavalry
10 Low - Just Like Christmas
11 Amanda Jenssen - Another Christmas
12 Kate & Anna McGarrigle - Seven Joys of Mary
13 Boney M - I'm Born Again
14 Tom Astor - Winter in Canada
15 Suburban Kids With Biblical Names - Jullaten 2004
16 She & Him - Sleigh Ride
17 Ray Conniff - Frosty the Snowman
18 Nat King Cole - The Happiest Christmas Tree
19 Rainer Heute - Winter Wonderland
20 Love Unlimited - It May Be Winter Outside (But In My Heart It's Spring)
21 Dana - It's Gonna Be A Cold, Cold Christmas
22 El Perro Del Mar - Oh! What A Christmas
23 The Concretes - Lady December
24 The Cliff Adams Singers - Do You Hear What I Hear?
25 Steeleye Span - Gaudete
26 Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
27 Hurts - All I Want For Christmas Is New Year's Day
28 Eels - Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
29 The Magnetic Fields - Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree
30 Burl Ives - A Holly Jolly Christmas
31 The Bouncing Czecks - I'm A Little Christmas Cracker
32 Mr Garrison (South Park) - Merry F**ing Christmas

Listen here

Glam Chops - Born In The USA

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:48:00 +0000

Typically, I'm about three years late with this, but what a brilliant version!

Eddie Argos it

It's Wright but it's not good

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:11:00 +0000

We're very quick as a nation nowadays to become outraged by the latest insensitive or deliberately provocative comments from high-profile celebrities, gathering in our thousands on Twitter or newspaper websites' comments sections to register our displeasure and to demand a public apology and/or the culprit's immediate resignation or sacking. I can't usually get too worked up about this sort of thing as, well, I have a pretty inappropriate (or just plain puerile) sense of humour myself. Life's too short, and all that.

But this week there has been one instance of such ill-judged behaviour that has genuinely annoyed and, dare I say it, outraged me. It came courtesy of Channel 5 presenter Matthew Wright on his daytime magazine programme The Wright Stuff. During a review of the morning's newspapers, one of his guests pointed out an article about the murder last week of 16-year Liam Aitchison on the Isle of Lewis, the first such case in the area for some 40 years. Wright's reaction was to yell "There's been a mur-der!" in an ersatz Taggart-style comedy Scottish accent, before repeating himself and laughing heartily at the brilliance of his wit.

Now, quite understandably on this occasion, this provoked an outraged response from viewers of the programme - including Liam Aitchison's distraught father - and hundreds of complaints to the regulator; and this in turn led to Wright issuing a grudging, cursory, passive-aggressive half-apology on the following morning's programme. But he couldn't resist getting an Alan Partridge-esque hubristic dig in immediately afterwards, telling those who'd organised campaigns to report him to Ofcom to "Grow up, folks". Oh, the irony.

Weally wockin'

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:13:00 +0000

Right then, it's, what, December 7th, so I think I'm just about OK to start with the Christmas stuff. And what better way to begin than with Rock 'n' Roll Santa, a spot of inspired lunacy from Jan Terri. Yo La Tengo covered this song but I'd never have heard either version had it not been for resident Christmas songs guru Spike, so ultimately she's responsible! (I suspect this'll be a song that you'll either love or hate. Me, I love it!)

Jan Terri - Rock 'n' Roll Santa mp3

Goodnight Australia

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:31:00 +0000

November 23rd was a sad day for fans of light-hearted Antipodean TV music quiz shows as it saw the final edition of the Adam Hills-hosted Spicks & Specks, after seven years and 266 episodes. If you've never seen it, Spicks & Specks was basically Never Mind The Buzzcocks without the malice or a penchant for humiliating blameless members of the public. (Please tell me Buzzcocks doesn't still do that godawful identity parade.)

Anyway, here is the star-studded* final episode of Spicks & Specks in all its glory. (*Don't worry if you're from outside Australia and don't recognise many of the faces, as you'll enjoy the show regardless.)

Oh Brother

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 20:09:00 +0000

You may recall I linked to the worst, most-punchable Christmas advert in history the other month; well, quite by chance, whilst watching an episode of Homes Under The Hammer earlier (don't ask), I heard something that sounded ominously familiar; someone from days of yore singing about "My Brother" to the exact same tune as the punchable Littlewoods Christmas ad music!

Further investigation revealed My Brother to have been a novelty hit in the 1950s for Terry "and June" Scott, which, in time-honoured style, has ended up being appropriated (albeit half a century later) and bastardised by a bunch of advertising slags in order to attract the custom of the aspirational, avaricious masses. Yeah, thanks a million for that, you utter sods.

Anyway, here's Terry's whimsical, not at all punchworthy version of The Song That Littlewoods Killed. The next time you see that godforsaken advert on the TV, try to remember the song this way.

Bizarrely, I also caught a snippet of Anna Ternheim's What Have I Done during that episode of Homes Under The Hammer. Whoever's picking the incidental music for that programme has really upped their game.

Song of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:40:00 +0000

Just in case you were in any doubt that I'm a big softie.

Lavender Diamond - Open Your Heart mp3

UK Top 40 Singles 5th January 1980 (Spotify playlist #9)

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:00:00 +0000

This week's playlist sees us travelling all the way back to the first chart of the 1980s - or, if you're being finicky, the final chart of the 1970s; it's for the week ending 5th January 1980 anyway, so would actually have first appeared on 29th December 1979. Hang on, I'll start again...

This week's playlist sees us travelling all the way back to the final chart of the 1970s. And what a week it was! But don't just take my word for it - cop a load of these.

(as ever, click on the link below to listen)

40 The Nolans - I'm In The Mood For Dancing
39 Booker T & The MG's - Green Onions
38 Diana Ross - It's My House
36 Boney M - I'm Born Again
35 Lena Martell - One Day At A Time
34 M - Moonlight And Muzak
33 Sheila & B. Devotion - Spacer
32 Queen - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
31 Dr Hook - When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman
30 Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin'
29 The Clash - London Calling
26 E.L.O. - Last Train To London (Double A-side with 'Confusion')
25 Matchbox - Rockabilly Rebel
24 Billy Preston & Syreeta - With You I'm Born Again
23 Skids - Working For The Yankee Dollar
22 Madness - One Step Beyond
21 Chic - My Feet Keep Dancing
20 KC & The Sunshine Band - Please Don't Go
19 Moody Blues - Nights In White Satin
18 Status Quo - Living On An Island
17 The Beat - Tears Of A Clown (Double A-side with 'Ranking Full Stop')
16 Blondie - Union City Blue
15 Rose Royce - Is It Love You're After
14 Donna Summer & Barbra Streisand - No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)
13 Elvis Presley - It Won't Seem Like Christmas (Without You)
12 David Bowie - John, I'm Only Dancing (Again)
11 Michael Jackson - Off The Wall
10 The Three Degrees - My Simple Heart
9 Gibson Brothers - Que Sera Mi Vida
8 The Police - Walking On The Moon
7 Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight
5 The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket
4 The Tourists - I Only Wanna Be With You
2 ABBA - I Have A Dream

Listen here

The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that there are a handful of numbers missing from the list (including the number 1); this is entirely down to their lack of availability on Spotify, rather than any unilateral pruning on my part.

But, to fill in the blanks, below are archive performances of the missing songs. As with some of the tracks on the actual playlist, you might not thank me for them, but here they are all the same!

37 The Ramblers - The Sparrow

28 The Greedies - A Merry Jingle

27 Mike Oldfield - Blue Peter

6 Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmas Time

3 Fiddler's Dram - Day Trip To Bangor

1 Pink Floyd - Another Brick In The Wall

That's all for now, but don't forget to join Tommy Vance same time, same place next week. (That's except for viewers in 2011.)

Song of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:46:00 +0000

Annika Norlin covers fellow Swedes the Deportees' song The Doctor In Me. Nice.

Search me

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:55:00 +0000

Long-term readers of this blog will remember a series we ran a few years ago entitled Search Us, in which I'd catalogue some of the more unlikley and outlandish internet searches that somehow ended up landing the unwitting Googler (other search engines are available, albeit no one uses any of them) here.

These searches ranged from the pornographic (Keeley Hawes nude) to the pornographic and disturbing (Watch Paul Jewell Derby porn); from the curious (Is Wincey Willis dead?) to the speculative (Norwegian band's name, I remember the lead singer looked like Ole Gunnar Solskjaer); from the ones that answered their own questions (How do you spell Mezzoforte the jazz band who did garden party?) to the ones who simply couldn't recall Chris Moyles's actual name (bumptious tosser).

There was more porn (Keeley Hawes naked), nonsense (manager of newcastle bill chumbawamba), plain speaking (I don't like pie that much), and a whole slew of enquiries about University Challenge know-all and reluctant overnight sensation Gail Trimble (gail trimbles tits / gail trimble wears glasses / gail trimble dull).

But the two subjects that generated by far the most search traffic (still do) were/are Keeley Hawes (Keeley Hawes knockers remains a personal favourite. Someone - possibly a 1970s sitcom actor - clearly thought outside the box a bit with that one) and, for want of a better word, smut. Oh, and some of the plethora of apple pie-related searches would make yer eyes water! (All I'll say is, there seem to be an alarming number of people with apple pie fixations out there.)

The Search Us posts came to an abrupt halt (or more truthfully, fizzled out) in the summer of 2009 due to a combination of a lack of new and original searches coming in to the blog and a tad of laziness on my part. But due to non-existent public demand, I'm aiming to revive the series - just as soon as I've got enough new material to work with!

With this in mind, and to hopefully induce some more preposterous Googling from the denizens of the interweb, I shall now post a stream-of-consciousness load of random old crap to hopefully hurry things along re the aforementioned aim.

Cesar Romero, Soda Stream, Wimpole, cassocks, Breville sandwich toaster, Doris Schwartz, Steve Heighway, Harry Secombe's Highway, Vince Hilaire, Umberto Eco's giant space hopper, Bella Emberg, Mike & Bernie Winters, Dame Una Nescafe, Rainbow, Black Type, Betamax, Don't you know there's a war on, I should cocoa, Pete Beale's finest fruit and veg cor blimey guv do they mean us they surely do Derek Jameson, ra-ra-ra-ra-Razzamatazz Lisa Stansfield started out on that you know, Mrs Miggins's Pie Shop, I ain't going on no plane fool, flippin' 'eck nutjob, why are you still reading this nonsense, Tucker's Luck, Metal Mickey, Rod Jane & Freddy GCE CSE GCSE TSB Midlank Bank Young Savers cheque book a free pen to every new customer they don't like it up 'em Captain Mainwaring didn't they do well of course I remember when it were all fields round here never mind the Trossachs here's some spectacles, Bradford Park Avenue, Chris Tavare, Gladstone Small, Eddie Hemmings I don't think I actually know any celebrities post the 1980s oh Diane Louise Jordan she's one, this should get the numbers up, maybe if I'd said someone famous and modern that might have helped as well, anyway move along now nothing to see here, hope you like the mp3, it's a good 'un.

Zapp - It Doesn't Really Matter (Extended Version) mp3

He can't stand up for falling down

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:26:00 +0000

Took this footage on my phone from this evening's Euro 2014 qualifier between Turkey and Croatia. In it, Turkish playmaker Hamit Altintop takes what I would have to declare to be the most outrageous dive I've ever seen perpetrated by a professional footballer (and I've seen Cristiano Ronaldo). There was no one within three feet of him!

(Apologies for the rather shonky picture quality, by the way, but I literally filmed the video direct from my mobile phone while pointing it at the telly! Still, though, a couple of clicks later and it was uploaded to YouTube. Isn't technology marvellous?)

The Bluebells - I'm Falling mp3

Scotify! (Spotify playlist #8)

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:49:00 +0000

Inspired by STV's recent Scotland's Greatest Album series (you can read the final results from the viewers' vote here), I've decided to cobble together my own list of favourites by artists from north of the border (Spotify availability permitting). Unlike the TV version, however, there'll be nae Rod Stewart or AC/DC here. But I have served up lashings of cheese.

1 Strawberry Switchblade - Since Yesterday
2 Orange Juice - I Can't Help Myself
3 God Help The Girl - God Help The Girl
4 Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out Of This Country
5 The Gentle Waves - Weathershow
6 The Vaselines - Molly's Lips
7 The Rezillos - Top of the Pops
8 The Burns Unit - Send Them Kids To War
9 King Biscuit Time - I Walk The Earth
10 Trash Can Sinatras - Hay Fever (Live)
11 Karine Polwart - Only One Way
12 The Delgados - Pull the Wires From The Wall
13 Big Country - Chance
14 The Bluebells - I'm Falling
15 Love & Money - Jocelyn Square
16 Deacon Blue - Loaded
17 Del Amitri - Nothing Ever Happens
18 Travis - Writing To Reach You
19 Belle & Sebastian - Lazy Line Painter Jane
20 Teenage Fanclub - God Knows It's True
21 Eugenius (Captain America) - Bed-In
22 Thrum - Here I Am
23 Bis - Eurodisco
24 Franz Ferdinand - Darts of Pleasure
25 Altered Images - See Those Eyes
26 Danny Wilson - Mary's Prayer
27 Runrig - Edge Of The World
28 The Proclaimers - Sunshine On Leith
29 Simple Minds - Hunter And The Hunted
30 Aztec Camera - Down The Dip
31 Astrid - Boy Or Girl
32 The Scottish World Cup Squad with B.A. Robertson & John Gordon Sinclair - We Have A Dream

Listen here

With apologies to Hipsway, Capercaillie, Mull Historical Society, The Skids, Ballboy, Malcolm Middleton, Idlewild, Edwyn Collins, Bronski Beat, Texas, Wet Wet Wet (yeah, I know) and a shedload of other acts I could and probably should have included. (I'm sure they'll all be devastated.)

Every loser whinge

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:01:00 +0000

Look who was back on Pointless last night...

Guess how he got on?

The Revelations - You're The Loser mp3

Truly Bumptious

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:57:00 +0000

The shocked visage you see above is that of an especially annoying, over-confident contestant on last night's Pointless, realising that he'd just given an incorrect answer and had thus been eliminated. It was much like the bit in a movie where the evil genius realises that his sinister plan has backfired and he's not going to gain control of the world after all. (Oh what's it called, you know the one I mean... Evil Genius Sinister Plan Man.)

Anyway, this may not reflect especially well on me, but that has to one of my favourite ever moments from Pointless (which is a brilliant enough programme already). I mean, you can't beat a bit of schadenfreude at the end of the day (or at the beginning or middle of it), can you? To borrow a phrase from semi-legendary football commentator Barry Davies: look at his face! Just look at his face!

The question in question was as follows, by the way:

Who voiced King Louie in Disney's The Jungle Book?

Our man confidently answered Louis Armstrong (which would have been my guess too).

The actual answer was: Louis Prima. (Never been so happy to get something wrong!)

Anyway, all is not lost for old matey up there, as, like all contestants on Pointless, he gets another chance to play tonight. He'll probably go on to scoop the jackpot second time round, but who cares? We'll always have that priceless moment of realisation and the 'O' face up top.

Daryll-Ann - Surely Justice mp3

Ooh, Betty

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 11:05:00 +0000

Bit late with this one but in the wake of the sad death of actress Betty Driver this week, here's John Shuttleworth's musical paean to the character she made her name with. Truly, the Rovers won't be the same without her.

John Shuttleworth - Betty Turpin mp3

Song of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:53:00 +0000

Because Marit Bergman's brilliant and so's this song. The lyrics are ace too.

Marit Bergman - I Thought I Would Be Older By Now mp3

Actually, that song reminds me of the clip below, from my favourite sketch show for donkey's years, BBC Scotland's Limmy's Show. I really can't emphasise strongly enough how funny this programme is, and how you should definitely seek it out if you're not familiar with it already.

There are loads more Limmy's Show clips on YouTube, and Series 1 is out on DVD. (Buying that would be the best decision you'd make all week.)

Well read

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:03:00 +0000

Can you believe this is fifteen years old already? Still sounding as etherially beautiful as ever and all. Ahh Trish, we miss you.

Broadcast - The Book Lovers mp3

(Currently reading I, Partridge: We Need To Talk About Alan. Always the highbrow stuff with me.)

Public service blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:33:00 +0000

We live in an age where it's possible to call up even the most risible, meaningless song lyrics in a matter of seconds, thanks to the plethora of websites serving that purpose which clutter up the internet; but is it possible to find the words to old Faith Brothers classics online? Is it bollocks.

At least that's the case as far as personal favourite A Stranger On Home Ground goes. Can't find it for looking. Unlike the albums the Faith Brothers later released - which included printed lyrics for all the songs - there was no sign of any song words transcribed anywhere on the sleeve of this single-only release. In which case, I shall now give you my interpretation of them! (Please do let me know if you think I've gone wrong anywhere, and I'll amend them accordingly.)

Egos soar as glasses crack
And promises weighed by the pound
Greedy fingers slapping backs
As strangers walk on my home ground

And greatness by association
Would seem to be an easy thing
The world's a lie that love defies
Believe me when you hear me sing
Only love can stop me now
From stumbling like a stranger on home ground

Strangers always call too late
Handshakes always let you down
What is worthy I shall take
But nothing gained is like love found

And greatness by association
Would seem to be an easy thing
The world's a lie that love defies
Believe me when you hear me sing
Only love can stop me now
From stumbling like a stranger on home ground

Strangers always call too late
Handshakes always let you down
What is worthy I shall take
But nothing gained is like love found

And greatness by association
Would seem to be an easy thing
The world's a lie that love defies
Believe me when you hear me sing
Only love can stop me now
From stumbling like a stranger on home ground

Faith Brothers - A Stranger On Home Ground mp3

I don't like 'I Don't Like Mondays'

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:34:00 +0000

Hey, national and local radio station playlist controllers - look! There are some day-appropriate songs you could give a spin on a Monday morning other than I Don't Like Mondays!

It's a crazy idea, I know, but it might just work. Some of the songs below aren't even about massacring blameless colleagues or school friends either, so possibly act as less of a subliminal advertising campaign to any of the more unhinged members of the populace. Just a thought.

(Tegan & Sara)

And that's without even mentioning "Monday" songs by New Order, Candyskins, The Bangles, Duran Duran or the Leningrad Cowboys. (That last one would wake people up of a Monday morning if nothing else!)

Season's Grating

noreply@blogger.com (Kippers) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 14:57:00 +0000

You won't thank me for posting this here, but I feel everyone should have the full horror of the new Littlewoods Christmas advert inflicted on them at least the once. Brace yerselves...

Jarvis Cocker - Running The World mp3