Ashley and Chris. Our Life.

Remembering the moment

2013-04-01T11:26:00.001-07:00

Jesus is screaming at me today! In a good way!

I had a hard time sleeping last night...and he tells me this when I get into work.
"Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest. So stop trying to figure everything out, and let God be God in your life."

He's saying STOP, just stop trying to figure every freaking thing out. Just BE. Chill out and trust.

Next comes a song speaking right to me. (I can't find it right now, but will post later) Relating to the same message.

Then a friend messaged me on FB, someone who I've only seen once in the past 10+ years (we got our babies together). The day we got together she was fighting with her "baby daddy" on the phone and I had this overwhelming feeling to get on the ground on my knees and pray for/with her. I would never do that if the holy spirit didn't drag me down because I'd be too embarrassed, wouldn't want to look crazy...you name it there would have been some excuse.

This is what she said to me today:

Ashley, thank you for your prayers last year. They worked. My ex is on the road to sobriety and I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man who happens to have a beautiful 18 month old boy. He and Az are best friends lol. Thank you for your love and support through what has been the absolute hardest time of my life. I appreciate your showing me there was hope.
Love,
J & A

Makes me want to cry and get on my knees again!
---
Happy day after Easter. He is Risen!

11 Months

2013-03-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

-Carson points at things now that he wants
-He's entered "stranger anxiety" and won't let me put him down around someone he doesn't know or isn't familar with. It's been hard to leave him in the nursery at church too...
-Took his first few steps! But is still more interested in crawling.
-He doesn't like to be spoon fed as much any more. We're doing a lot more table food.
-Drinks 24-30oz of formula per day roughly every 3-4hrs. has some water with meals
-He likes pancakes! who doesn't...? we've also introduced eggs and cheese
-Naps from about 930-1045 and 230-345. times/length vary. Since the time change he's been going to bed a little later 7:45pm - 6:45am is the average during the night.

I'm not sure if this is healthy...lol

Carson's first steps! I was laughing because it was like a behind the couch walk

Dad had a week off with Carson

Bounce Bounce

Carson trying lemon!

What we've been up to...
Playdate at Carson's new friend Ethan's house
Billy Burks with R&K
Dad's surprise 60th Bday party!
Went to Happy Hollow for the first time!
Had St Patty's dinner at Matt and Marisas
Been cooking a lot at home
Chris went to a sharks game
Went bowling with our small group
Park playdate with the mom's group
Rock Bottom with john and danielle (we just love that place)
Kidztown at church
Date night Xahn restaurant in mountain view
Girls happy hour santana row
Work Work Work
Lots of starbucks
Walks
Chris starts his new job April 1st!!! (Monday)
Ambera's Bday
Easter this weekend :o)

Sooo.....this coming week....we are going to put our home on the market again....since the market is "hot".
It's probably the worst timing ever (as far as busy-ness goes for us)...but, here we go....

10 Months

2013-03-06T20:56:00.003-08:00

Time is flying by!

-Carson has three teeth! All on the bottom so far.
-His heart murmur is going to be ok! He'll grow out of it.
-He's been laughing for a while now, but it's so funny when he does!
-He has signed "milk" a few times and I think he's trying to say the word at the same time
-He's standing up by himself, he'll let go and hold it as long as he feels comfortable and then gets down
-We think he knew what he was doing when he was calling chris "dada" the other day
-Nana has taught him to say "nanananana" too
-We went to a mom's playgroup last week with about ten other babies his age 8-11months. Carson would do whatever it took to get to a toy even if it meant crawling over other babies/moms.

What we've been up to:
*Work, Pedros, Ujam, Tennis, Small Group, Saddlerack for Gemma's Bday (I finally rode the bull! Annnd it was just like I thought: hard and embarrassing) , Work Work Work (Did I say that already?), Walks, Movies/Dinner with my sister, The Parker Wedding, and Chris got more tattooed.

I've always had a hard work/life balance during tax season/been stressed, anxious, you name it. But this year (well the past week) has been awful for me. I've been barely sleeping, feeling like I need to be at work and at home at the same time and just feel pulled all different ways. In the off-season I was working 9-4:30 and now I'm working 8-5:30 and what a difference just with having to be up earlier, spending less time with Carson, there's way more traffic on the way home and Carson goes to BED at 630/7 most days so I rush home not wanting to stop off for any errands ect because then I'll see him for only like 15min. I really should stay at work until 6/7 (I used to)...Meanwhile, Chris and I are both hungry and...ok I'll stop explaining, but I could never do this long-term. Plus I'm working all day on Sundays and we've had every Saturday booked with something going on for weeks (which I love of course, hanging out with friends, ect, but I'm just...tired). So long story short, I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been feeling like I'm having panic attacks, having a hard time breathing, racing heart, pain in my neck/back...and the doctor prescribed me some anxiety medicine to take "when needed." I haven't taken it yet, but, I'm not going to hesitate to take it if I feel the need. I would love to just have a consistent job where I worked like 9-3 3-4x/week or something, ha, but that's a dream. So I'm just trusting that the Lord will take care of me/us and lead me where I need to be! Chris is being a good sport, I'm certain I'm driving him nuts. He's on the job search again as well...

2 months until Cabo!

9 Months

2013-02-15T10:23:00.000-08:00

Ahh! Mom's in the swing of tax season and is finally sitting down to do a 9mo update real quick! I lost all of my pregnancy weight! Huge accomplishment for me. Now if only I can get about 5-7 more pounds off before we go to Cabo for our 5th anniversary...that would be splendid!

At his check-up we found out he has a heart murmur, so we are going to the cardiologist to go get that checked out today. He was 20lbs11ounces (60th percentile), 29 inches (75th percentile), and 95th percentile for head!
-Wearing 12month clothes and size4 diapers
-Has one tooth
-Napping about 3hrs/day (average times are 10am and 3:30pm) for about 45min-90min
-Goes to bed at 7pm on average and sleeps until about 6:30am
-Drinking 4(7oz) bottles a day, every 3-4hours, and eating 3 meals a day (5-6oz). I've been giving him applesauce and/or whole milk yogurt in the mornings mixed with oatmeal and I'm still making all of his meats, veggies, and fruits homemade.
-Is close to standing up on his own, can do it sometimes for a few seconds
-Is saying "ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma" a lot these days
-Crawls to our legs to climb and ask to be picked up
-Less squirmy on the changing table...I think he may know the purpose of being there now
-Stares strangers down...but he doesn't mind if they hold him

Drinking from a sippy cup:

Trying feta cheese:

Valentines Day (9.5months)


Liz

Bachelorette Party

Tahoe!

2013-02-15T09:43:00.003-08:00

We were pleasantly surprised at the fact that there was no traffic, especially since we went up just for new years. We left early Dec 30th and came home on Jan 1. Carson was fine at nana and grandpa's house and slept through the night with no problems! That gave us the confidence to know we can do it again...and again. Ok maybe not too much :) Had fun in Tahoe with the cousins: played games, went skiing, went sledding, went gambling, ate out and also cooked at home...drank a lot of beer...laughed a lot. Oh and Chris took a dare after midnight...that I'm sure he will never forget...running out in the snow in shorts when it's 10 degrees outside and climbing a tree...to slip and fall...all was well though.

"MAMA" 8 Months & 1 Week

2013-01-07T09:54:00.000-08:00

Carson said "mama" :) He's making a lot of other noises these days too. He's reaching out to us to pick him up too. And climbing to stand on anything he can...yesterday it was the oven and then he found the winebar...nooo! Not sure where to stick all of our wine.

Today is one of my high anxiety days of being a mom. I have nothing to complain about in all honesty and so much to be thankful for...but I still feel that pang very often. It still has to do with "not having enough time" to get everything done/do what I want. Tonight I would love to go to the store after work, cook a new healthy meal, play with Carson, do a workout and take the dog for a walk, clean up the house a bit, play some games on my ipad, watch a show, spend some time reading the bible, and then cuddle with my husband for a while before bed. But alas, the evenings come and go so quickly and I'm tired by 10pm. I have to remember to breathe. I am getting better at being a homebody especially since Carson is going to bed anywhere between 6:30-7:30. This sounds ridiculous, but the biggest loser and the bachelor start this week (both 2hr programs that I had a hard time keeping up with BEFORE)...now how am I going to catch up on those shows and be able to talk to people about them?? lol. I've started counting calories yet again...I have FOUR more pounds to lose for those who noticed I dropped off the bandwagon for a while. I am back in a couple pairs of my pre pregnancy jeans. Alrighty better jump back into work...gearing up for tax season.

8 Months. 1st Christmas.

2012-12-29T11:45:00.000-08:00

It's 11:11pm and Carson turns 8 months old tomorrow. It's been a long couple of weeks..."the holidays" as they say. We took Carson to Christmas in the Park and went driving to look at Christmas lights. Found some new christmas light spots throughout willowglen so we will definitely go back next year. Went to Cyndi's christmas cookie party, had dinner with our small group, had dinner with my dad at black angus to use my free birthday dinner coupon, saw Mark for a bit because he got to come home for Christmas, had Richelle and Kevin over for christmas eve breakfast...on Christmas day we went to my parents, then dan and joyce's (carson was overtired so it took him a long time to go down for a nap), then we went to the Carlotta's for christmas dinner. Made an olive cheesy bread, so good:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/olive_cheese_br/

We got 2 short weeks in a row this year. Caught up with Marisa and Liz this week, did some shopping and some coffee. Put all the christmas decorations "junk" away. I'm really a bah humbug on that stuff. Went to John and Danielle's new apt for dinner tonight. Leaving for Tahoe on sunday for new years. First time leaving Carson (for 2 nights!) sad...I know I will miss him. Can't wait to ski.

8 Months
*loves to play peekaboo
*crawls to stand up on anything and everything
*his first tooth is coming in!!! can feel it (a bottom one)
*saying "baba" and smacking lips. I think he will say "mama" before "dada" :o)
*can walk with his new push toy
*in size 12mo feetie pajamas
*eats cut up food on his tray for snack and sometimes at dinner
*laughs/grunts when you sing the ABC's thanks to his ABC bear
*always laughs when Faith walks up to him
*goes in his pack and play a lot these days since he won't stay in 1 spot for more than 2 second. He also loves his walker
*i got him the cutest cookie monster shoes size 3. still in size 3 diapers for a bit longer. wearing 9-12mo clothes
*he's now in his big boy carseat. we probably could have waited another month, but I had a 25% off coupon!

Hanging out in his diaper

ABC bear from Heather

Swinging in his bouncer from Velvet and David

7 Months!

2012-12-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

Carson eating "chewing" tortilla dough at Chevys

Carson 7mo and 1 week, watching mom get ready

Firsts:
*(after this video, the next time I went in there, he was standing in his crib bouncing up and down)
*then, later, he climbed up his first stair
*then, even later, he had chicken for dinner for the first time

He's about 19lbs and 28inches

Clothes and diaper sizes:
Mostly 9mo stuff, can still stretch into some 6mo onesies

Sleeping patterns are:

Still 3-4 Naps per day: 9ish (short nap), 11:30ish (medium nap), 2:30ish(this is the longer nap) and sometimes a catnap around 6ish. Lately he can last from 4:30/5(when he wakes up from his nap) until bedtime at 7:45/8. He sleeps pretty consistently from 8pm-6:45/7am (10-11hrs)

Your feeding schedule is: 6-7oz bottles every 3hrs (5 times per day) + eating breakfast ( 2oz fruit + oatmeal), lunch (3oz veg and fruit), and dinner (2oz veggies with rice). I am making ground turkey and chicken purees this weekend. We will also offer him some table food once in a while, but this usually ends up on the floor. He's also mastering his pincher grip so that he can grab his "puff" crackers off his high chair.

Firsts: He's crawling to things (window ledge by the door, first stair, his walker) and pulling himself up to standing. He also loves it when he's laying on his changing table or on the floor and I wiggle my fingers for him to grab my hands and he pulls himself up to standing. He gets so excited.

Words: I heard him say "ba ba" today. He was smacking his lips a lot recently too.

Still no teeth!

What we've been up to:
*Carson's first Thanksgiving
*Colt's First BDAY Party
*coffee/shopping with ambera
*church
*niners beating the saints a-freakin-gain/had friendsgiving leftovers at R&K's
*took a dance class with velvet
*almaden yoga
*marriage bible study
*girls fiesta (at our house) for my birthday
*busy at work. they took me to lunch for my bday which was nice.
*Chris started his new job. He's not too sure about it yet...
*curtis and leslie came for fiesta leftovers
*dinner at my parents house

Colt's one!

Some dance central fun after the fiesta:

I'm sure I'm missing some stuff, but just trying to catch up! busy busy time of year!

Merry Christmas to you all.

Hot Dog Bun

2012-11-27T11:24:00.001-08:00

Dinner time at the Carlotta's

Starting to Crawl

2012-11-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

11/8

*at 6 months and 6 days....Carson took his first crawl steps!
*Carson had his 2nd cold (basically at the same time he got his shots) so he was extra fussy and tired for about 4 days. Chris caught what he had, so it's been sick-week. Looks like we're almost done and thankfully I haven't been sick! (yet). On Saturday, Carson's "number" came on the screen at church which meant he was crying a lot in the kids care class! So I had to go get him early, poor guy.
*Because he's eating solids twice per day now...I think, we MIGHT, be getting pass the gassy faze. Overall, he's just been a really gassy baby. And the Pedi said that switching to a different formula isn't going to do anything if your baby is just a gassy guy. Last night Carson was up from 4:45 until 7:30 and he was so HAPPY! Usually he doesn't go longer than about 90min without either being tired, gassy, or cranky. Hoping for no more 'red faces'.

---

11/20

It's been a long week. I'm glad it's a short week at work. Grandma went in for 2 minor procedures last week, which led to more complications and she ended up staying a whole week. So, we've all been worried about it and trying to get her home. She just got home about 3hrs ago. We hope she'll recover well and be able to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving with us.

What we've been up to:

*john and danielle over for dinner
*walks in the cold

*game night at Clinton's
*walk with becki and sadie
*yoga at a new studio (Almaden yoga)
*got a massage at the $20 parlor with Velvet
*met with the old bible study clan to celebrate Nichole's 28th bday

*Faith turned 4yrs old on Nov 12th

*took professional photos for christmas cards (a charity shoot) will share those later
*chris had one in-person interview finally and he GOT IT!!! we found out last night. He'll start Dec 4th.
*church, rachelle and I watched the 1yr olds this month
*Aiden Carlotta's 1st bday party!

*dinner with rachelle/jordan @ Rock Bottom

*dinner/drinks with Leslie, Curtis and Steve
*lots of family time in the evenings, we love to watch Carson speed around in his walker and crawl/play with his toys

Carson can go from crawling to sitting straight-up now. He's eating a full variety of fruits and veggies (all homemade so far). His main form of communication is...gargling. Or high-pitched squeals. He loves the baby Bjorn carrier and barely makes a peep when shopping around b/c he's so distracted.

**Just found out that Liz and Dave are engaged! yay!
We went to see their condo that is definitely a work in progress, but they are making it their own!

Chris "Why do I have an attraction to girls who go fat?" LoL: Kelly Clarkson & Christina Agulara. (as we're watching the AMA awards)

He's been here for 1/2 of a Year!

2012-11-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Crazy.

My new nickname for him, other than CC, is "butt-butt", don't ask me why.
Here are some videos from the past couple of weeks:


6 Months Old

*head circumference 44.5cm (75-90%), 27.5inches long (75-90%) and 18lbs (50-75%)
*still size 3 diapers
*this kid has more clothes than I do, he's wearing a variety of 6mo-12mo clothes
*going to start feeding him pureed solids 2x per day, he likes bananas best so far
*drinking 7oz bottles 5x/day (every 3 hrs)
*naps are still pretty inconsistent, but he naps about 4hrs/day all together
*he grabs my face and hair and goes to give me a "kiss" although, I think he just may be hungry

We went for his 6month check-up today. Chris got to come too due to some job-related issues that we hope get taken care of relatively soon. Carson cried so hard when he got his shots :o( but it was also nap time.

Stuff we've been up to:
*small group at Amber and Lee's
*yoga, I signed up for 3 weeks so I've been going a lot. I like it.
*girl's dinner with liz, marisa, and richelle at her hotel that she had to stay in, due to termites in their duplex. we got unlimited free appetizers and drinks and went into the hot-tub
*half moon bay for pumpkins and lunch
*cousin Steve's halloween party
*denver vs. new orleans game. my team lost
*halloween: nana took carson to the oster parade at school. at night I took him to my mom's to hang for a while with my sister and treat the trickers. had my first eggnog and brandy of the season. the guys played tennis

5 months. Week 3.

2012-10-16T14:43:00.001-07:00

We dedicated Carson @ church. Family and friends came and we all had lunch at Sonoma Chicken Coop in Campbell after.

Ambera Babysat :o)

Carson's Changes:
*he's making more squealing and spitting noises
*he's grown out of his 6mo feetie pajamas, he has to wear 9mo
*he can scoot his knees forward, but when he reaches his hand out (in crawling position) he falls flat
*he walked down the hall in his walker (very slowly, we had to move it away from the wall a couple times)
*he holds his own bottle almost the whole time
*he's tried bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, and pears will be tomorrow, i still don't think he's really ready for food yet, but the food was easy/fun to make that i'm just giving it a try once a day
*he went to a new babysitter for the day, Lorilynne, she lives about 5min away, it worked out nicely

What we've been up to:
*leslie's 30th bday party (80's)
*our marital bible study and Amber and Lee's house
*family day in Santa Cruz, we walked up and down the boardwalk and had lunch at Olitas mexican
*watchin' football, saints won last Sun and broncos won this Monday
*workin' a lot for Oct 15th deadline (which is why I'm off today on a tuesday)
*coffee with Richelle
*Ambera babysat for us so that we could go see Taken 2 and grab dinner
*Jillian Michaels videos
*healthy dinners (somewhat) haha
*helpin with the kids at church
*wine tasting in Livermore
*chris is having a poker party this wknd
*I'm trying an intense yoga class with ambera this evening, I'm kinda nervous! my hands always sweat so much and I can't balance, lol

week 10 weigh in (stayed the same)
week 11 weigh in (-0.8)

150 Days Old. Sleeping Through The Night!

2012-09-29T13:18:00.002-07:00


5mo: ~ 17lbs & 27inches

9/26
Little one will be 5months this week. 150 Nights...That is a lot of nights not getting 8hrs of rest!
Well this past Thurs night...CC slept from 9pm-7am (with only awaking 1 time around 230am and we shh'd/passy'd him back to sleep) Both of us looked at each other after our alarm went off...and were like "did you feed him" "no, did you feed him?" And within minutes he was waking up.
The past 4 nights have gone pretty well too. He's still waking up once or twice, fussing a bit, but we haven't fed him in the middle of the night. We gave him oatmeal a couple times this weekend, just because we like putting him in his new highchair, haha. He seems to like it. On his 6mo birthday I want to reward him with some guacamole, well avocado.

*After we feed Carson his last bottle at night (Chris and I generally take turns), we lay him on our shoulder to burp him (he's usually asleep) and he just lays his head there. Cheek to cheek. It's so sweet.
*He's pushing himself up so high when he's on his tummy that he's mastered flipping onto his back now. He can also put hand over hand to move directions too. Seriously in his crib he was rolling all over last night, there was at one point on the monitor that I was like where did he go?? His head was at the other side of the crib.
*He can bring his knees to his chest (on his stomach), sometimes he'll sleep with his bum in the air. I think he'll be crawling prettyyy quickly. Supposedly average is 7-10months, we'll see if we can beat the average, haha....
*He loves his walker (that ambera and brandi got him). He can move it forward and back now. Right now we're outside and he's happy and drooling like a clam.
*He's started to jump/bounce a little bit when we're holding him up
*He's in 6-9 month clothes, size 3 diapers
*He takes 2 short naps in the morning and then a long 2-3hr one in the afternoon, then another snooze around dinner-time. Bedtime has been about 8:30 (or when he gets fussy). He eats every 3 hours during the day, except for his last bottle (that's only about a 2hr gap, but we want to fill him up for bed!)


Carson Yawning While Watching Football

Ugh, the Saints are not doing well this year. They are 0-3 right now. They will do better this wknd I feel it. Chris thinks his broncos are doing so much better, but they are only 1-2, psh.

Chris and I had a great time at the Rascal Flatts concert a couple weeks back

------------

9/29

This morning we went to starbucks and ran our errands by 9:30am, dang we're old. Mom and Dad went to Hawaii and Grandma went to Washington, so R&J are watching their house and the dogs. Tomorrow we're going to swim at the condo and BBQ at the house.
More pics:

Week #8 Weigh In September 25 (-1.5)
Week #9 Weigh In October 2nd (-0.8)

10 more lbs to go until pre pregnancy weight...the hardest lbs to lose!

Rolling Over In The Crib

2012-09-17T12:40:00.002-07:00


4.5 Months Old

C.C. is making all these long squealing noises now. He'll pause like he's thinking really hard and then this big noise comes out, it's so funny to watch. I think he's gaining a sense of humor.

He's able to push himself up on his hands during tummy time

He touches my face constantly, and let me tell you, he is the only one ever allowed to touch my face. haha! That has been a phobia of mine since I started breaking out in middle school.

I caved and started giving him some rice cereal. He's not really sure what to do with it, he likes it I guess. My reason for giving it to him was to see if it'd make him sleep longer through the night...NOPE! lol. So I am going to wait a while longer cuz it's just an added hassle/mess

Right now we're dealing with him rolling over in his crib and then whining b/c he can't get back over. So we've been getting up MORE at night than usual. I am going to take all the blankets out of the crib and then just let him roll where he needs to go. (we've been putting him in this sleep sack that I got at marshall's, it's sleeveless though so it's good - chris was trying to then wedge him in with 2 blankets so that he'd stay on his back - well it's not working...)

He loves to sit up straight in the stroller looking out when we go on walks

It's the cutest thing when he hears a loud, unfamiliar noise and his eyes get huge and he frowns a little bit. We always say "aww, it's the frowny face"

He is all smiles most of the time. I'm waiting for the day he says "mom, don't kiss me" since that's pretty much all I do

Week #7 weigh in Sep 18th (-1.5)

Roly Poly Baby

2012-09-12T10:02:00.001-07:00

Roly Poly Baby

Week #5 weigh in: (-0) yes, I failed labor day wknd
Week #6 weigh in: (-2.5) I made up for it.

Handsome Boy

Carson is a roller now!
I REALLY need to start using our "good" camera. This phone crap is not the best.

He rolls onto his tummy, but then isn't sure what to do after that. I've seen him flip back again, but he's not in a routine yet.

Last week he started laughing! It's so cute.

I took him to the Little Gym on Friday and he had so much fun in his class. We played with bubbles, bells, balance beams, sticks, bouncy balls, mats, hung out with other babies, clapped, did gymnastics, held onto the bars, flew like an airplane. His whole onesie was filled with drool after from smiling so much.

He likes going to costco. I carry him in the baby bjorn and he looks out at all the people and lights. He was comfy in his jamies from auntie RiRi. Speaking of Richelle, we had a girl's date last week at kohls/panera that we hadn't done in a long time, so that was fun.


Jen and Aiden (9mo). This was at Marisa's 21st Bday Party


@ Loma Prieta. It's been 2yrs since Kevin proposed to Richelle here. Time flies...

This past weekend we visited the Art and Wine Festival in Mt. View with John Danielle. Then we had dinner for Louis' bday at BJ's...Denver won (for once) :o)

Next weekend at church they are starting "The Story" series and I'm really looking forward to it.
...God goes to great lengths to rescue lost and hurting people. That is what The Story is all about: the story of the Bible, God's great love affair with humanity. Condensed into 31 accessible chapters, The Story sweeps you into the unfolding progression of Bible characters and events from Genesis to Revelation.

I've got it on my kindle, ready to go!

Chris and I are also joining a new bible study with a group of friends from WestGate. It'll be every-other week which I think will be perfect.

We will be dedicating Carson @ church too in October. Details to come.

The Working Mom Guilt

2012-09-11T12:54:00.002-07:00

The Working Mom Guilt

After we got home from a jog

This post is going to come off as crazy, because, I am, and I'm ok with that.

Last week, I was having a really bad day at work...feeling awful that I wasn't with my son. I've noticed that I tend to get "annoyed" with SAHM's (annoyed is a word I use when I can't think of a different emotion), but really I think I'm envious that they get to spend more time with their kids. At the same time though, I don't think I'd be great at staying home. It's this wish-wash of emotions that doesn't make sense.

So what do I do? I start googling different websites and blogs so that I can put into words what "annoyed" really means to me. It started to make me feel better that I'm certainly not alone in my feelings. Here are some quotes from various peeps...

"I do, however, still struggle mightily in my role as a full-time working mother. A role I feel I’ve never quite come to fully balance, resulting in the unsettling sense that I’m juggling two extremely volatile balls, either of which I’m in constant danger of dropping at any given moment.
Furthermore, it’s a role that only allows me to spend, on average, three quality hours each day with my daughter throughout a five-day work week. Weekends aside, that amounts to a mere 15 hours per week - barely a part-time job. And not always the fun kind when you stop to consider that most of those hours occur at the end of the day, when we’re both tired and cranky and not exactly the most ideal versions of ourselves.
I realize, of course, that this isn’t necessarily an issue for some working moms – namely, those who derive a great deal of personal identity and satisfaction through their chosen professions. Unfortunately, I am not one of those women.
In truth, I have always worked more out of necessity than to fulfill any real calling in life – writing not withstanding. With a fair amount of shame, I will admit that I simply never quite figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. And so I’ve spent my adult life wandering rather aimlessly down a meandering career path, with no real sense of where I’ve been or where I’m going.
So, it’s only natural that I should feel a certain amount of envy for the stay-at-home moms who spend their days with their children, while I in turn sit chained to a desk."

"I do think that I might feel more secure in my role as a working mom if I could just figure out exactly what it is I want to do… and then do it.
I’ve been at my current job for four years. At times I like what I do; other times not so much. It really depends on the day, the week, the task, and my overall mood. I also really like the town and the setting in which I work, the people, and the general logistics – my commute is only nine miles and I’m a 1/2 mile away from daycare. In short, I’m comfortable here. But it’s not my passion. Which makes it hard for me to get truly excited about what I do. Meanwhile, I look at my boss – a woman I genuinely like and respect and who has been very good to me – and see that this IS her passion. And so I feel guilty – like she deserves better. Which only adds to my lack of confidence in myself in this area of my life. Which then brings me back to, “But what exactly is it that I DO want to do?”

This is so me. There are definitely moments at work when I know that I'm needed and I actually like that feeling, but a lot of the time it's slow and in those moments I often feel like I'm wasting precious time. Organizing numbers and making sure all the paperwork is there...that's my thing. I still feel though, that there is something else more meaningful out there for me. I don't know what it is yet. I was thinking that maybe I'm to go in the direction of being a stay-at-home mom, and maybe that is supposed to fulfill me. But I'm not so sure about that either. In the meantime, I will slowly do things outside of the home and outside of work that make me feel good. Periodic dance classes, maybe start performing again now that my body is getting closer to normal. Go to concerts, hang out with the girls, drink lots of wine...go explore new places with my family (kid places, yay...lol). My sister and I recently started volunteering at church in the nursery - definitely challenging, but rewarding.

"Girl, I so get it. Ten years ago this month I quit a high level executive job (love/hate but $$$) to be a SAHM. And guess what, I bet you spend more quality time with L’il Bit each day before/after work than I do. So let that one go."

THIS made me feel better, because it could be true! When I was at home for almost 4 months...I was pretending like I didn't have to go back to work - trying to get a feel for what it would be like. I was constantly trying to get things done around the house, saying "hi" to my little one for a min and then going back to what I was doing. Or I'd get frustrated when I was watching a show and he'd start crying. (Sad, huh). Then I'd feel bad about myself because I still hadn't showered or brushed my teeth for that matter...still in my ugly yoga pants...thinking, well what's the point of showering anyway if we're really just going to stay here, or maybe run some errands...who do I have to impress...and then if I did shower...there was no way I was going to workout later (which I desperately needed to do). I would also get anxiety about planning my day around his schedule, but nothing new there, lol.

One mom said this: "Sure, there have been benefits to me staying home. But do they outweigh the drawbacks? I’m not sure. I did once overhear my daughter say “When I grow up, I’m going to have a real job…” It pretty much broke my heart. She doesn’t see the supreme career sacrifice I made for her, she just sees me as an unemployed schmuck. So there’s that."

I might have said this about my own mother at one time, but I'll leave it at that. In my mean teenage years. What I've learned is to not judge anyone in their decisions, because lord knows, I don't know what the hell I'm doing...I will just try to follow what He shows me to do, day by day. I just realized I used lord and hell in the same sentence. Oh well, it's in the bible.

"I’ve come to realize that there is guilt and longing and self-doubt regardless of which side of the fence you fall. Even WAHMs (work at home moms) or those who work part-time – both of which seems like ideal situations to me – seem to grapple with their own demons surrounding this subject.
You know, it’s said that God cursed Eve when she ate the apple in the Garden of Eden. Supposedly, the curse was the burden of childbirth (at least if I’m remembering my Bible stories correctly – it’s been a while). But maybe THIS is the real curse – the difficult choices that we have to make as both women and mothers. Or perhaps the curse didn’t end with childbirth, but instead extends to the sometimes painful dilemmas with which we’re faced in motherhood."

"I was a working mom and am now a SAHM but I find it a challenge. I don’t think I was meant to be a full time SAHM. I need something more for my brain. Don’t read this the wrong way, I love my girls and every second I get with them but I think I am a better mom for them when I am happy and feel satisfied. I try to grab freelance work and do some consulting and I know I can feel the difference when I am working on a project. I feel more confident. I feel more focused and I think that just leads to better parenting for me."

Now, I've only been back at work for a little over a month, but I'm wondering if this will be the case for me.

"I think mom guilt (working or no) is a part of being a mom. I’m a working mom of two little boys, 40 months and 9 months respectively. I’m a teacher, a grad school instructor, and a freelance writer. I’m also lucky enough to be home with my boys every summer. I feel guilty during the days when I go to work, and then I feel guilty during the summers when I spend all day cleaning poopy diapers and yelling at them to stop destroying things. I think I’d feel guilty no matter what."

"The one thing that drives me crazy is when moms judge one another. Whether we work or stay home, it’s a sacrifice, and everyone has to find her own balance."
Very True.

Another story that pretty much sums it up...
"Bill and I never even considered the option of my staying home, although in the back of my mind I had perhaps hoped to. It wasn’t a “reasonable” discussion.

When Jack was born, I was shocked to discover that in my head, I was thinking which arm I could sell to stay home with him. I didn’t say this out loud, however. I didn’t want my husband to feel guilty that I *had* to work. I realize everything is a choice. We could have sold our newly-purchased home and moved somewhere less expensive; my husband could have sought another job although he was in a great position with much potential. But he is in sales. My job meant guaranteed health care; it was a mortgage-cover-er should he lose his. So. I worked full time. We paid off our debts. We had another child and I went part-time because we felt I *could*. I couldn’t help thinking in the back of my mind that I had missed my one chance at being a stay-at-home mom. That as a part-timer, I was caught between two worlds:
I didn’t join mother’s groups or kiddie classes because I wasn’t home long enough each day to fit them into our schedule. I didn’t have breaks to connect with co-workers because I was always rushing to and from daycare. My life was wonderful and I’m not complaining; I’m just saying that every situation has its compromises and challenges. We rationalize, we worry, we keep secrets in our hearts we don’t share: about how we REALLY feel, what we REALLY want, what we fear most.
Three years ago, my husband suggested I try my hand at writing and I took a leave – left the working world for the first time since I was a teenager.
And guess what? I still feel guilt. Every day. That he bears the sole financial burden of the family; that I am living my dream while he works long hours to support us.
I have felt guilt since the moment I loved another person who loved me back. I’ve come to believe that guilt is an inextricable part of being a thoughtful, conscious person who is aware of others and their needs. We just have to be careful to not beat ourselves up too much or take out our stress on others."

I’ve come to realize and even take a small amount of comfort in the fact that there is guilt on all sides. No matter which decision we make as women and mothers – to work, to not work, to work at home, to work part-time – there will always be questions and self-doubt and, yes, guilt to nag at us.

"I have been the full-time working mom and I’ve been the full-time SAHM and have been doing something in between for the past 9 months. I feel like I go over the pros and cons of each on a daily basis and rather than being a one-off decision, I feel like I end up remaking that decision and all the heartwrenching debate on a daily basis. And I hate it. I hate going through all of it over and over again. But there are so many good things and bad things on both sides that neither choice can be made without a fair amount of second-guessing myself."

Ok I better get back to work...before I lose my job. On second thought, that might not be the end of the world...

:o)

PMS

2012-08-31T13:01:00.001-07:00

PMS
It's back folks, it's back!
Well it's been one hell of a week (It's my Friday although it's really Thursday) and Monday is a holiday thank you lord! Labor day wknd! Even saying the word Labor kind of creeps me out.

Week 4 Weigh In: -2lbs
My goal for August was -10 total, but i'm at -8.5 for the month so far. Can't be too upset with that. I know I'm retaining some water right now (due to reason above, lol) so maybe it'll drop down if I'm disciplined enough this weekend!

My new hair. This is not the best picture, but I took this in my bathroom this morning! I definitely need to get up earlier (20min is NOT enough time to get ready and I'm always rushing)

Ombre Hair

My little baby is 4 months now.


Carson: 4 months old

He's 15.5lbs (50th %) and 26.5in (90th %)

Clothes and diaper sizes:
He's in 6mo clothes and size 3 diapers

Sleeping patterns are:

We put him down for the night by 9:30pm, he still wakes up once to eat (sometimes twice if he cries for his passy) and then wakes up for the day anywhere between 630-8am. He takes one nap in the morning around 930am-11am and then another nap around 1pm-330pm. He might take a snooze or two before bed, but no long naps.

Your feeding schedule is: We've been giving him 5-6oz every 3-4hrs. Sometimes he spits up too much with the 6oz, but then sometimes he's fine, we're just playin' around to see what works

Some sounds and motions he makes are: He's starting to reach for things (and my hair), and makes a lot of spit noises!

Firsts this month: He just learned to roll from his back to his belly. I'm not ready to be watching him all the time! I love just laying him in the middle of my bed! haha

Doctor said that there really isn't a reason to feed him anything else but formula until he is sitting up well in a highchair (so around 6mo, maybe a little before). He said it's not going to harm him though either if we start with cereal, ect, but he doesn't see a point. So we will see which road we travel down. He's all "there are always those moms that can't wait to feed their kid new foods and think their child is more special, so...."

I really like our pediatrician Dr Pearlman.

Gloriana Rodeo Club

This last week consisted of: The Gloriana concert at the Rodeo Club, A PlayDate with Colt & Nichole, Dinner with Richelle and Kevin at Los Gatos Bar & Grille, Ujam, Cousin Night @ Rachelle and Jordan's house (games, food...and arm wrestling?), Church, Volunteer meeting at Westgate's Kidstown (Rachelle and I are going to watch the little ones during one service, once a month), Mom and Dad over for dinner, Spending time with Carsie & Chris, Cooking Light Dinners, Errands, Housework, Jillian Michaels Workouts, and...Hair with Rachel. Oh, and Work. And a TV show here or there when I can slip it in.

Tonight though, Chris and I, are going on a "date" and I'm very much looking forward to it.

Weight Loss Is Hard

2012-08-22T10:14:00.001-07:00

Weight Loss Is Hard

I think I forgot to mention that Marisa and I did the stairs last week...Go Ahead, Try It, 8 Times up and down, I dare you...

Communication Hill Stairs

399 Mullnix Way, San Jose

Week 3 Weigh In
= [-1.5]
same as last week

I get my US Weekly magazine in the mail this week and my eyes go to:
"Jennie Garth 20lbs in 3 months: How she did it"
Why is it that every time I see an article like this, I want to flip to the pages and be like omg what is her secret? You know you do it too. You think MAYBE, just MAYBE they know something that you don't know. Maybe they are doing something different this time and maybe you can learn how to lose weight "quicker". I caught myself and then told myself...you know what to do. Keep eating healthy, don't go over your daily calorie intake, and exercise. It'll come off gradually, the way it should when you're doing it in a healthy manner and if you want to keep it off.

We went to pinecrest/twaine harte this wknd with Liz and her new beau Dave. We went to the lake, paddle-boarded, went on walks, watched movies (My Best Friend's Wedding...love that movie), bbq'd, went to this interesting pizza place......
Ok so Dave had looked up places to eat and we saw that this pizza place called "The Prospector" had good reviews on yelp so we decided to try it. We get there, and there is a sign that says "no parties over 6ppl!!!". We're like wow that's a little rude, lol why? Then we get the menu and on the pizza selections it said "Due to Napoleon artistry we offer NO SUBSTITUTIONS on the pizzas". A house salad was like $7, so we passed on that even though I kind of wanted one (the pizza was hekka thin crust). Then we ask if we can get some ranch with the pizza and the server said "oh we don't have ranch". We decided to get waters for our drink of choice and the lady said we had to get it ourselves - we look over and there are these tiny a$s kid's plastic cups by the water dispenser. It was an interesting place to say the least, I don't think we will be revisiting anytime soon. Luckily it was a nice night outside on the patio.

On the way home we stopped in Oakdale to try some cheese and ordered grilled cheeses whilst sitting outside on a bench by the llamas and goats.

Carson was a good boy. We hardly slept though because we had him in our room with us and could hear every toss/turn/sound. Right now, my favorite thing is that when you go to pick him up, he will grab your arm/shoulder like a big boy as if he's holding on. It's like he's *hugging* me, although I'm sure he has no idea what he's doing while he's drooling like a faucet on my arm. I can't wait until he can give me a real hug.

He liked the lake, although he was clenching his fists, lol

Baked Potato Love

2012-08-15T21:19:00.001-07:00

Low Cal Baked Potato

Easy, Healthy, Dinner Idea!

I always forget about these bad boys! This recipe is for 1, but I did the same thing for 2 and it worked great.
MY ingredients listed below totaled only 340calories per serving!

Ingredients

1 large russet potato
2 table spoons salsa
3 tablespoons shredded cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
3 teaspoons sour cream (light)
chopped onions
cherry tomatoes
a few crumbles of blue cheese

Directions

Scrub the potato, and prick several time with the tines of a fork. Place on a plate.(Just use a paper one, heck) Wrap them with saran wrap.
Cook on full power in the microwave for 5 minutes. Turn over, and continue to cook for 5 more minutes. When the potato is soft (just poke your fork in and if it goes in soft, you're good), remove from the microwave, and cut in half lengthwise. Season with salt and pepper, and mash up the inside a little using a fork. Top the open sides with butter and 2 tablespoons of cheese. Return to the microwave, and cook for about 1 minute to melt the cheese.
Top with remaining cheese and sour cream, and serve.

Other toppings you might want to use:

salsa, turkey chili, olives, onions, veggies, bacon bits, any other cheese (blue cheese, yum), baked beans, avocado, chicken or steak...have fun!

---

Last week I lost 4lbs

This week I lost 1.5lbs (Wasn't super excited about that, but a loss is a loss!)

19 more pounds to lose until pre pregnancy weight.

---

My boo boo

watching me get ready for work

carson and marisa at sushi

---

Don't forget this:

You are here for a reason. You play a part that only you can do and you're important.

How fast did I walk??

2012-08-09T11:41:00.003-07:00

How fast did I walk??
formula for walking

Thank goodness for Google. Why couldn't I figure this out on my own!? I've always been pretty good at math. I can solve the equation I just can't set up the equation...I guess

speed= distance /time

My mom and I walked 1.5mi in 25min

So,

= 1.5mi / (25min/60min)

= 1.5mi / .417

= 3.6mph!! :o)

Now when I put that into my cute little livestrong app, it tells me that I burned 170 calories

You know you think he has a nice body....lol

Back to work and losing weight after baby

2012-08-07T13:13:00.003-07:00

Yo what-up, I'm back to work and I don't have a whole lot to do quite yet, so I guess I'll blog.

Gained 50lbs with the pregnancy. I was down 20 pretty quickly and then I was stuck there for about 4-6 weeks and then I started watching it again and was down another 5 (so half way) and was stuck there for another 4-6 weeks, but NOW I am REALLY watching it. This is ridiculous I never thought it'd be this hard. I figured if you went back to how you were usually eating before pregnancy it would just kind of float off, no, not the case for me. I have to diet. I hate dieting. Who likes it though?

So as of July 31st I started tracking my calories/workouts on the Livestrong App. I lost 4lbs this week!
(I will weigh in on Tuesdays). I have 21more pounds to go before I reach my pre-pregnancy weight, BUT I wanted to lose another 5-7lbs even before that, so I am just going to throw it in. When I think though, that I have to lose 21 + 7lbs, that seems like it's going to take FOREVER. I've never had to lose that much before. From my calculations, if I am disciplined enough to lose 2lbs per week, I should be a beautiful model, by let's see, right before....Thanksgiving! So I can just feast through Christmas and then have to diet a-freaking-gen. lol no, no no. It'll be fine. Right?

Ok enough about weight-loss, stay tuned for next week. In the meantime, I'm back to work. I dropped Carson at my mom's house yesterday morning (we switched cars, cuz I figured she should just have mine with the carseat base in it ect) and I started tearing up driving to work cuz of course my mom had some sappy CD in her car (I actually made it for her, lol) but still. Some 98 degrees sh*t. Then I started getting sad that Jessica and Nick broke up. I loved their show. But I'm happy that Nick is having a baby now with his NEW wife Vanessa.

No wine on our "wine tour" makes for a frowning Chris

I think this was the first time Curtis has ever held a baby!

We've been keeping pretty busy. I've been going to my U Jam class over the weekend and trying to do some kind of a work-out daily. Celebrated Rachelle's 25th Bday by going miniature golfing (Chris brought a flask with jack daniels and poured it into a coke and we had to take a gulp every time we were the loser of a hole. Totally 10th grade, I know). Becki and I went to the Brit this past Thursday night like party animals (lol, not really). Chris and I went to Brandi and Mike's new house in gilroy and had dinner with them. They inspired us to maybe re-do our kitchen (granite and sink)...it looks so good. And, it looks like we're going to be in our place a while longer.

Oh my little Carson pumpkin pie. He is so fun and I can finally say he's a "good" baby because I know what that means now. He's "talking" so much and I feel like we hear some kind of new sound or noise everyday, it's so funny to watch. Last night he slept from 9 - 5 (8hrs) and then from 515-815 (3hrs). He grabs on to blankets now and is constantly wanting to put them in his mouth. I'll give him his little blue puppy blanket (that actually looks like a bunny, but that's ok) and he'll cuddle with it now. He still loves his swing. We have a noise maker on the swing and also inside his crib. They work for now, I'm not sure how he'd do sleeping without it in his crib since it blocks out some noise. I sleep with a fan on every night, Chris doesn't want Carson to get "bad habits" like me, haha. He's turning on his side a lot, so no more leaving him on the big ottoman in the living room, we're down to the floor now. That just means more squatting for mom! Win-win?

I'll be off on Friday and plan to go hang out with Liz where she's house-sitting. Love some pool time!

3 months old, Sister's wedding, and going back to work...

2012-07-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

3 months old, Sister's wedding, going back to work

Ok, I have just settled down on the couch with a cup of coffee - a rare event. I didn't plan anything today because I needed to get some stuff done around the house. I'm going back to work on August 6th. I will have been off for 14 weeks! Longer than I expected. This past week has been full of anxiety for me. I was so nervous to do my sister's toast at her wedding (dumb, right? but I was) and then the weekend was crazy busy (but the wedding was FUN!). I've also just been so nervous about going back to work and relinquishing control to the "others" aka my mom and chris' mom. I know he'll be in great hands, I just want to know what's going on, ect. I'm also working on not getting so defensive when others offer suggestions and advice about the baby. I think for me, since I've always been so independent in my decisions and do so much research before I do anything anyway, that, I take it as others don't think I'm "doing it right". I'm also worried about being able to do it all...work, keeping the house up, running errands, planning/cooking dinner, having a social life, church, exercising, all while making sure I spend enough time with Carson and...my husband. I still don't want to give any of it up, but I know I'll need to pick and choose what is most important to me at the time. I want to go on date-nights, but I also don't want to feel guilty about leaving Carson when I barely get to see him all week. We're lucky to have quite a few people that will babysit for us :o) I just can't wait until more of our closest friends have kids so Fri and Sat nights can be like, hey come over and bbq and set all the kids on the floor! lol. Because then none of us will have any money or be able to go out on extravagant dates, haha jk.

This Saturday is Richelle's Bday wine tasting trip. We're going to livermore for the first time so we're really excited. Sunday is Leslie and Curtis' engagement party.

Carson 3mo: He doesn't go to the doctor this month but he's about 13.5lbs and 25in long. (my weighing and measuring)

carson 3 months old

Clothes and diaper sizes:
I washed all of Carson's 6mo clothes because believe it or not he's almost too big for his 3mo clothes! He's growing so fast. So techincally he's in 3-6mo clothes, but their aren't a lot of them that are sold like that. We have the size combo 1-2 diapers from Costco (up to 15lbs) and those are working out well, for a little longer anyway.

Sleeping patterns are: We are going to start putting you to bed earlier (about 9pm) and then wake you up to feed you again right before we go to bed (10:30-11). This should get you through the night until 6am. We did this for the first time last night and it worked. I hate that there isn't a rule-book on kids telling you when to put them down to make it work, lol. All I know is that when I go back to work I need my sleeeeeep or I will be crabbbby! If we're home, he takes a really good nap for about 3hrs (12-3pm), but if we're out and about your naps are really inconsistent.

Your feeding schedule is: During the day he still eats every 2.5-3 hours. He's eating about 35oz/day on average. We offer him 5oz bottles throughout the day, but sometimes he's satisfied with only 4oz

Some sounds and motions he makes are: He's "talking" a lot now. It feels like we're having a conversation sometimes :o)

This month, he especially likes: his hands in his mouth, his playgym, and standing on our lap. We play airplane, patty-cake, and started to read him books.

Firsts this month: He can push himself up during tummy time and sometimes he'll roll onto his back. He has to be in the mood though. He's so concentrated on his hands most of the time that he'll end up laying there with his hands in his mouth.

Milestones: He'll always smile when he sees our faces (especially when he wakes up from a nap or has been playing for a while). He will bat at his toys and hold onto the rings and rattles now.

The past couple weeks:
We had a fun time in tahoe! We hung out at the lake, went for walks, went to northstar and squaw valley for dinners, and watched movies and played with carson at the house. Chris went tubing with Matt down the river while Marisa and I stayed back and did some pool time and...drinking, haha. They took us to incline village for appetizers that night and we watched the sunset.

Matt's parent's house

Laying in the tent Lake Tahoe

Lake Tahoe

Squaw

Rehearsal

7/22/12

2 'n a half months

2012-07-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

Carson is becoming more and more fun each day.
His dad got him to laugh last night while doing choo-choo train with his legs. I'll post a video later.
He's found his thumb and I've caught him sucking it about 3 times now. I'm actually hoping it'll stick because it's a lot easier than always looking for a pacifier.
Last night he slept for 8hrs consecutively! He's been taking shorter naps during the day. I still try to do the 'Babywise' plan of feeding him, keeping him awake for as long as he can, and then he takes a little nap. The book said that by 10 weeks they could be 'sleeping through the night' and sure enough, he's 10 weeks so, we'll see how long this lasts. He's still taking 4-5oz every 2.5-3.5hrs during the day.
He gets very gassy at least at one point during the day. We probably give him his gas medicine 1-2times every day. His face turns bright red and he'll be really uncomfrotable for a while, poor guy. Our pediatrician says that if your baby is gassy then he's just a gassy baby and not go to out and buy the formula that is double the price because it's no different. So I'm just buying the big cans of Costco formula. Also getting diapers and wipes from there too.
I've dipped Carson in the pool a few times now :) He seems to like it!

It was my parents 30th wedding anniversary yesterday!Right before sister's big day.
So many wedding festivities for Jordan and Rachelle. The bachelorette party was a blast. We went all over Santana Row.

---
On the 4th we went to Richelle & Kevin's and BBQ'd, walked to a park near their house, threw around some fireworks and Chris took Faith down the slide. I read on some website that the baby picture taking has probably subsided a little (haha it's kind of true). Man those first 2 months you are pretty obsessed. I remember my grandma telling me that by 3months she was so in love with her son (first child) and I was thinking...first 3months? That's kind of a long time...shouldn't it be instant? But now I totally get it. I love Carson more and more each day, especially now that everything is getting easier and he's smiling and responding when we call his name. I really reallyyy don't want to go back to work, I'm just not looking forward to leaving him for full days and relying on someone else to watch him. Buttt I'm praying for what the right thing to do is - gonna go back 4days/week and take it from there. One day at a time. I cried the other day about it...Chris was like omg, you've turned into one of "those people" I said I KNOW! The ppl I rolled my eyes at before! haha.

---
The show Big Brother starts tonight! We're having a few ppl over to watch.
We're going to tahoe this weekend! First trip away as a familia. Got a lot of stuff to pack.........

2 Months Old [8-9 weeks]

2012-07-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

Makarius' 1st Bday. Carson petting a bunny.

Monday June 25th:
Carson slept through the night!!! From 11pm-6am. Really hoping this isn't a one time thing!!
I gave him a bath at 9:30pm and then he played up until 10:45pm and I could tell he was getting sleepy. I took him in his room and gave him a bottle (he only took 1/2 of it (2.5oz) and fell asleep in my lap, so I put him in his crib and he was out.

8 Weeks/2 Months --Survey: (This is going to bore people reading, lol, it's for me)

Your clothes and diaper sizes:
You are pretty much out of newborn clothes now. Mama's going to have to pack them away :o(

But it's ok because I'm hoping lots of friends will start to have babies now and they can ue the clothes, lol. (wishful thinking?) You wear 0-3mo clothes and 3mo clothes. You're a long baby so when you stretch out in your 3mo sleepers, you fit right in.

Your sleeping patterns are: During the day we try to follow the Babywise book of having you eat, awake for about an hour, and then take a 1-2hr nap. This does not always work especially when mom wants to go out and do things or get things done around the house. It actually seems like you switch off from falling asleep after eating or being awake for a long time after eating (sometimes even for 2hrs). I'm not sure when we're supposed to set a "nap" schedule, but I think we'll wait another month or so for that. (when i'm back at work,wahh) During the night the pattern has been you either wake up at 2:30-3am and 5:30-6am, or 4am and 7am. But not last night! :o) The longest you've ever gone without eating was 7hrs.

At bedtime, we feed you, change your diaper, and lay you in your crib and put your mobile on. It's rare that you cry anymore when we leave the room, you just put yourself to sleep :) At mom's group (that I've gone to a couple times) they are always talking about how to get their babies to go to sleep on their own without rocking, nursing, ect - even their babies at 6 months!....I'm glad you're a big boy! haha.
Whenever I go to get you in your crib, you've moved from laying vertical to horizontal. I'm not sure how you do it...but from scooting and kicking I guess.

Your eating patterns are: You eat every 2.5 - 3hrs during the day. It's pretty on cue too, if you've taken a long nap, you know when it's been 3hrs. You're eating 5oz bottles - sometimes you don't finish the entire thing, but 80% of the time, you do. I'm worried it's too much? We're going to ask the doctor this week. The nurse said it does sound like a little much, but to keep doing it as long you're not throwing a lot of it up. If you're off schedule at bedtime (let's say you eat at 930pm...we'll feed you again at 11pm to fill you up before bed, hoping it'll make you sleep longer :o)

Some sounds and motions you make are: You LOVE to be on your back on your play gym. (If you're not gassy poor guy). You just kick and kick and kick!! And coo and make your vowel sounds. A couple days ago you started to make this razz (spit) sound - dad noticed it too. You also found your hands and you're always putting them in your mouth. This is good because you used to scream every time you peed your diaper, but sometimes now you'll use your hands in your mouth to calm you down until mom wants to change you, haha. For a while I was changing you 3-4 times after you ate because you wouldn't pee all at once!

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Hands in the mouth


Kailani holding Carson at Rachelle's get-together Sat 6/23

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Wednesday: June 27th
I just got back from UJam (cardio hiphop class at 6am) for the second time. Marisa and her friend Caroline met me there this time. I've been trying to workout everyday and I feel so much better than I did 2 weeks ago. Even though I still have 20more pounds to lose, I can feel my core tightening. It's a horrible, horrible feeling to have a loose tummy (for me anyway!) ew, I can't stand it. So i'm in good spirits today :o)

Carson has slept from 10:45pm-4am and then he went back down 4:30am-8:40am. We haven't had 2 long stretches like this before.

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Ok this blog entry is all over the place, lol. It's Sunday July 1st
2 Month Appt: He weighs 12lbs and measures in at 24inches. 40cm head circumference (It's cm, right? I almost said inches, lol)

This was before his 4 shots :o( He was fussy and slept a lot afterwards that day.
He needed tylenol a few times

I love this picture!

Tonight Chris and I are going on a date: Dinner & a Movie. We've had a good weekend - did coyote creek for lunch yesterday, Chris got fitted for his tux, we went to church, and made dinner and had champagne. This morning we slept in and then went to the farmers market in campbell.

Happy Father's Day. 7 Weeks Old. Bridal Shower.

2012-06-18T10:28:00.001-07:00

Happy Father's Day. 7 Weeks Old. Bridal Shower.

Baby Carson is 7 weeks now!

Mom and Carson

Dad and Carson

Uncle John and Carson

We had breakfast at mom and dad's house and Chris helped dad do some work out in the backyard. They are starting construction on their house this week - finally! - to extend the house and make a dining room. Mom, grandma, and I walked around Oakridge for a little while. After I picked Chris up we went grocery shopping and Chris got to pick out whatever beer he wanted for father's day, lol. It was actually very good. Then we went to the in-law's for dinner and came home and went to bed at 9pm, haha. Carson woke up at 11:15pm, 2:30am, 5:15am and 7:30am...so don't think we slept from 9pm-7:30am....haha, I wish

Last weekend was Rachelle's Bridal Shower! Here are some sneak peaks....

Bachelorette party is coming up soon! Can't wait to have a girl's night out dancing.

Speaking of dancing, Ambera and I took a lyrical jazz dance class this past week and Marisa and I went to Ujamm on Saturday morning. Been taking walks with Nichole, Velvet and Liz....trying to get back into shape....and Richelle and I are dieting together which helps. Although we both kind of suck at it, but we'll get there - haha.

For all the moms-to-be out there...I will say I think once you get over the 5-6week hump...it gets a lot easier. Things become more consistent. Yes there are those that are perfect at it and love it right from the start...but I've definitely settled into motherhood now. We're also solely using formula at this point and there is so much freedom in that. I'm done feeling guilty about it - breastfeeding is not for everyone (and I kind of knew that was going to be the case for me ahead of time), but I tried.
Carson is making a lot more noises now when it's playtime. The vowels aa, ee, ii, oo, uu. This morning when he woke up we read some books in the glider chair, then we danced around to some michael jackson, then he watched the lights on his play gym and we listened to lullabies while he fell asleep on my lap - where he his now :o)

love this song

Only 5 more weeks until I go back to work...but trying not to think about it and enjoying the moments we have at home.

Swimming at Marisa's: (well, not Carson, but we were) Can't wait to be able to take him in the pool!