Gopinath's "ArTicKles"

First Book Review of my First "ArTicKles" Book

2009-11-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

It gives me great pleasure to announce that a fellow author and blogger, Jeena Papaadi, who accidentally discovered my book "The ArTicKles Collection", while googling for the Bangalore Book Festival (BBF), has posted a Book Review in her blog.

I do thank Jeans, as she calls herself, for this!
Do read the review here

I do hope the copies of my book are sold out before the BBF closes on Sunday 15th Nov 09! The book is available at a specially discounted price of Rs. 100 until 15th Nov 09 at the Pothi Stall in BBF held at Stall No. 288, Gayatri Vihar, Palace Grounds, (entrance near Chowdiah / Bellary Road side) at Bengaluru.

Blogger's Post-script:
Meanwhile what do you think bloggers do when they arent posting blogs? Well, they are posting tweets on Twitter! So get on to Twitter and follow me @gopinathmm and you will be amazed at the fun and excitement abuzz on the microblogging platform.
So when most people were worried about Phyan in Mumbai, tweeple had several views why it wouldnt enter Mumbai "MNS didnt allow it because it doesnt know Marathi" said one,"becoz it does not have a Marathi name" said another. I also found the origin of the name of the cyclone Phyan here.

But now that it is past us, it is safe, I presume to disclose that this Burmese word for berries falling of trees is just crap, it was indeed of marathi origin! Since the rural Maharashtra folks felt that this cyclone was no great stuff and God had just put on the fan sot they kept saying "Phyan", as they always say in rural Marathi, you see... so now you know!

Phyantastic, isnt it?

BBF is on

2009-11-08T00:18:00.000-08:00

The Bangalore Book Festival is on since November 6th and will be open until 15th Nov 09. My self-published book, enabled and powered by Pothi.com has been put up in their Stall No. 288 there as I have already announced in my previous post.

Pothi.com has begun posting all the happenings and pics in their blog “Booknomics” here.

Jean, blogger and author of “Tales from the Garden City” has posted some pictures and written about her visit to the Pothi stall in her blog, which can be read here.

Jean also left a comment on my blog that she has bought a copy of my book! Thanks, Jean! Do write a review on the Pothi.com website and/or your blog, once you’ve finished reading it.

All a writer wants, once he completes writing his book, is that his book reaches as many readers as possible. Though some of us have opted for self-publishing our books at Pothi, this does not prevent us from trying to approach established publishers for buying the rights of the book. I forwarded copies of my books to 4-5 publishers till date and they were quick enough to revert with a standard reply, “At the moment, our hands are full, you may try some other publisher”.

Just wondering why Goddess Saraswati did not bless our publishers with a dozen hands instead of just 2 – in which case, wouldn’t they have some hands free for handling my book? Anyway, just take it that this message is just an accepted publishing industry norm for a “rejection slip” to the author. Having collected several such rejection slips from newspapers and magazines, these just add to the tally, I thought.

However, according to this piece, even some best-sellers in the market today have been rejected several times before publishers see the potential in them, citing 14 best-sellers which were rejected more than 15 times (some more than 30 times) before acceptance!

Who would guess that “Gone with the wind” by Margaret Mitchell would have been rejected 38 times, “Carrie” by Stephen King was rejected 30 times, “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” by Richard Bach was rejected 18 times, “Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Jack Canfield was rejected 140 times, “The Peter Principle” by Laurence Peter was rejected 16 times? So you now know how wrong publishers were to reject the book submissions! Chicken Soup for the Soul ended up selling over 80 million copies and was translated in 37 languages once published.

I wonder how so many publishers didn’t find such remarkable books worth the print paper? So authors should not get disappointed by rejections by established publishing houses who can print many copies of our book and place them in the bookstores all around the world, and who knows they may be the best-sellers in the days to come!

So, guys, we have a new platform of self-publishing to get started, but we need to keep trying our luck with established publishers and distributors and of course keep improving on the work in terms of presentation and details – that’s what successful authors have been doing all along.

My Book at the Bangalore Book Festival 2009!

2009-11-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

As you all know, I have been doing the write stuff for some years now. Writing involves imagination and as we work upon our skills, fantasies come to us quite naturally. So it happened that I got this idea about self-publishing my first “ArTicKles Collection” early this year. Now writing nonsense is one thing and publishing it in a book, quite another. But thanks to well-wishers and some helpful souls who tend to our fantasies and work to see our creations see the light of day, like Pothi.com, my first book was published in February 2009 and has been available for purchase on the net here.

Soon, I learnt that publishing a book is one thing and selling it, quite another! The book is available on the net, but nobody seems to be buying it! So what’s wrong with my book? I began to wonder.

“Nothing, its just that it doesn’t get the publicity and since most readers still pick up books in the book-store and online purchases hasn’t yet caught up, your book lacks the visibility” said a good friend of mine.

That reminded me about what a very popular author said in his television interview. He narrated an incident about how a young aspiring author once asked him whether he considered himself the best author in the world today, to which he quickly replied “Certainly not the best author, but probably the best–selling author or close to being it”.

That sorted out the entire muddle in my head! For someone who cannot sell a refrigerator to a guy staying in a desert (not an eskimo, take note), no wonder the book doesn’t sell. Moreover, one did not even heed the advice of well-intentioned friends who suggested that I throw in some romantic love stories and garnish it with juicy bits of holding hands while naturally progressing into promiscuity, that would be certain to irk the big-wigs in the several “Senas” and several self-appointed moral brigades of the region. I could’ve just handed over a couple of free samples to their staunch supporters in my region and hoped and prayed for my book to be banned or better still, burnt in public – after which it would become an instant international best-selling success!

Finally, I did none of it!

So I am now happy that Pothi.com, the self-publishing platform has come up with an idea (not as exciting as my friends’ suggestions, though, I must admit) to help sell our books apart from the online bookstore! Pothi has decided to set up a stall in the Bangalore Book Festival to be held in Bangalore from Nov 6th to Nov 15th and signed copies of my first book will be available at a discounted price of Rs. 125/- (Listed price Rs. 140)during the event.

The details of how to get to the Book Stall of Pothi is as follows:

Stall No. 288, Bangalore Book Festival,
Gayatri Vihar, Palace Grounds,
Bangalore
(Entrance from Chowdiah/ Bellary Road side)

So now that you know what my book isn’t about, what are you waiting for? Go grab a signed copy of my book!

PS: Oops, I almost forgot – the book contains some selected “ArTicKles” – humorous, informative, entertaining collection of old published and unpublished pieces,which I promise shall be a great read especially for those who have limited access to the net! It is a great gifting idea for elderly people who read books and newspapers and enjoy some good humor in life!

For those in Aamchi Mumbai or Fascinating Goa, some copies are available for the same discounted price of Rs. 125/- plus courier charges as applicable. If anyone is interested in purchasing my book, kindly write in to my email id which is g_mavinkurve AT hotmail DOT com to be the proud owner of a work of outstanding human fantasy or...er...stupidity!

For those who think they are well-connected (to the internet, i mean), just head to my best posts in my blog here. I have actually improved upon my posts in the book! So do buy my book, guys!

Jab Tweeple Twoot Pade!

2009-10-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

Kal Twitter pe saare Indian Tweeple twoot pade the!

All Indian Twittering people were posting tweet after tweet their own contribution to the thread that became the rage on Twitter #unlikelyindianbooks

It was surely a special treat on my special day - I was glad everyone was celebrating and having fun!

I am posting some choice picks that caught my attention from what Indian tweeple posted yesterday below (not necessarily the very best - it was difficult to choose from thousands of them)

The Best of #unlikelyindianbooks

Tweets By @amitvarma'
'A farewell to Arms' by Varun Gandhi.
'Who Moved My Cheesecake' by Adnan Sami.
"On The Road" by Salman Khan. "The Son Also Rises" by Sonia Gandhi.
'Men Are From Toronto, Women Are From Mumbai' - Rakhi Sawant.
'How the Parsis and Gujaratis Built Mumbai' by Raj Thackeray. @Krishashok
"Drink in peace & other punny tales" by Morarji Desai
"The Great Indian Navel" by Shilpa Shetty
"The Interpreter of Melodies" by Anu Malik
"Amar Shonar Nano" by Buddhadeb Bhattacharya
"A Suitable Boy" by Rakhi Sawant
"Meri Rashtrabhasha" by M Karunanidhi

Tweets by @Rameshsrivats
"Attempted yorkers and other fuck-ups" by Chetan Sharma
"Have you seen my stamp collection" by Telgi
"Headache Remedies" by Ravana
“Shoots, Eats & Leaves - The story of Salmaan & a Blackbuck"
“Cocktail Recipes" by Morarji Desai
"Damn. Pluto is out." by Bejan Daruwala
“Eyes wide open" by Deve Gowda
"Tree's Company" by Aishwarya Rai
"Cookbook" by Ramalinga Raju
Lol RT @shubhas: The buck stops here by Salman Khan

Tweets by @Jhunjhunwala
"Being Silent" by Navjot Singh Sidhu

Tweets by @SachinKalbag
"How I Created An #unlikelyindianbooks Meme Monster" by @jhunjhunwala
"A.P.J Abdul Kalam - My Friend, Philosopher and Guide" by K Santhanam
“The Art of Prime Ministership" by L.K. Advani

Tweets by @TheComicProject
"Yeh haath mujhe de de thakur" by Varun Gandhi
"How to talk like Amitabh" - By Sachin Tendulkar
"Mackenna's Gold - By Bappi Lahiri
"Employee Retention" - by Hari Sadu

Tweets by @Vinod_sharma
"A few good men" - by Laloo, Mulayam, Paswan
"Jai Shri Ram' by Karunanidhi
"Main aur meri young bai" by Shiney Ahuja
“From Pizza Hut to Dalit Hut" by Rahul Gandhi
"Bhaichara with gaichara" by Laloo Yadav
“Desperately seeking Sonia" by Amar Singh
"Hens Pecked" by Dr Manmohan Singh
"The bucks stop here" by Prannoy Roy
"Keep mom, give gas" by Anil Ambani
'Dressing up for terror attacks' by Shivraj Patil

Tweets by @gopinathmm _ Hey that's me!
"Consistency and Stability in the Indian Education System" by Kapil Sibal
“Flexibility at WTO negotiations" by Kamal Nath
“The ultimate Self-Yelp Book for Canines" by Maneka Gandhi.
To order call toll-free number 1-BOW-BOW-BOW-BOW
"How to present the news without getting excited" by Rajdeep Sardesai
"How to conduct a talk show without cross-talk" by Vikram Chandra
"Lobbying for a favorable tax slab for the unlisted gender" by Bobby Darling
"How to put the interviewee at ease" by Karan Thapar
"Committed to Industrialising West Bengal" by Mamata Bannerjee
“How to tackle tough neighbours" by Dr. Manmohan Singh
"How to handle sibling business rivalry" by either of the Ambani brothers
“How to build an empire by running an ethical business" by Ramalinga Raju

Needless to say, Twitter kept flashing the message:
“Overcapacity – Too many Tweets to handle – login after sometime”

So folks who are not yet on Twitter, you know what you are missing out!
Follow me on twitter on @gopinathmm

We may have a blast on this microblogging platform like this one again!

Magical Treachery – Breaking Codes, Vanishing Charm

2009-10-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

Thank you Blogadda for picking this post!

“Watch the masked magician as he reveals the best kept secrets of magic on the AXN show, ‘Breaking the Magician’s code’” announced an ad in a newspaper, which immediately caught my attention! Amazing illusions of levitation, slicing a person into two parts with a powerful saw, penetration through tough walls, assistants locked and tied up in metal cages vanishing - all in front of our very eyes, had been always fascinating us since our childhood days. “How did he do it?”, was always a question on the minds of people in the audience.

While watching the 'Masked Magician', who was later found to be the well-known Val Valentino, on AXN Channel’s Thursday night show at 10 pm, “Breaking the Magician’s Code – Magic’s Biggest Secrets finally revealed”, one was shocked to see how the skillful masked performer, after presenting several conjuring acts, quickly followed them up with the revelations about the props used, hidden assistants, secret trap-doors, misleading gestures to divert attention, specially designed chairs and tables, that had actually helped deceive the viewers into the amazing effect adeptly handled by the performers. What was unknown to the audience for several years was unfolding right before them on their TV screens! ‘Oh, such a simple thing, after all – how couldn’t I guess that?’, an instant would come to one’s mind.

As *POOF* - the charm of the trick just vanished!

Being part of the Indian magicians’ fraternity since my school days, yours truly had fiercely guarded these secrets for a singular cause – to maintain the charm of these intriguing, enthralling acts which had regaled the audiences and kept them guessing. “Oh, how does he do it?”; “Does he hyponotize us?”; Surely there’s something hidden up his sleeve, isn’t there?” “There’s something special with the wand in his hand, isn’t it?” When asked, I had only one answer –
“It’s magic!”

Raja the Magician performing an act

Being the younger brother of Rajaram Mavinkurve, better known as ‘Raja the Magician’, a popular children entertainer in the ‘80s and ‘90s, I had the privilege to assist him at stage shows and birthday parties. So did I not follow into his footsteps and perform the acts myself? Well, no! While he was adept at his sleight of hands and deceitful ways, my sloppy fingers and slipshod ways were a threat to the entire trade, much before the betrayal of the masked magician. Having learnt this in private performances at home, my brother was convinced about one thing: Before the arrival of the masked magician, the best way to tell the world how it is all done was really to ask me to perform!

Raja the Magician performing an act

The magicians' fraternity was a close-knit one and guarding secrets was a major avowed principle being strictly followed. Naturally, my public performance was out of question. That left me with a limited opportunity to help out by setting the table before the show and ensuring that curious kids don’t rampage the magical stuff, until it was packed up and carried away for the next show. Several friends and kids would coax us to let them know the secrets to these mystifying acts, but to no avail. The only reply would be:
“Hey, It’s magic!”

Rajaram was also good at networking amongst magicians and entertainers all over India (and abroad too). He took active part in the Society of Indian Magicians and was also the President of the organisation for several years. This involved organizing get-togethers, picnics, competitions and such other activities. Sensing my resolve and interest in the subject, one had no difficulty to gain entry into these esoteric events of magicians, hailing from all over India, in which the secrets of acts were discussed, improvements, innovations and new tricks were actually being demonstrated and taking shape.

After his sudden early demise in 1998, due to a massive heart atttack, (he was 45 years of age), my connections with these wonderful performing artists were lost, barring a few who would call up and keep in touch. So I called up some of them recently and wanted to know their take on the on-screen exposes by the “recent” show. I was informed that the Val Valentino had begun exposing these in the US as early as 1998 and was continuing to do so even until 2008, all for the lure of money.

It was amazing, I thought – several Indian magicians were battling to keep their trade from slipping into bankruptcy but hadn’t fallen for the lure to expose the secrets, thereby letting down their own brethren and here is a guy from the western world who is doing it and raking in the moolah! So what was the reaction of the magicians, one wanted to know?

“Well, good performers continue to do well”, I was told. “Most of the folks know that we are only entertaining and want everyone including kids to enjoy themselves. There’s competition from other performers too, but the challenges are being met by being innovative, introducing some new tricks. And moreover newer kids keep coming into this world!”, he said reassuringly. So, they aren’t vanishing any time soon! I heaved a sigh of relief for my good old friends!

No such thing as a stupid question!

2009-10-04T02:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Blogadda, for selecting this post for the Tangy Tuesday Picks!

“The more important a question, the more unlikely it would have an answer”- A tweet posted by me on Twitter.

Follow me on Twitter! Twitter ID: @gopinathmm

My tweet was posted after several questions were raised by the television news channels after YSR’s helicopter went missing some time ago. “Why do you think so?” Asked a good friend of mine, to which I had no answer! Why do I think so? An important question, I thought! So that’s what I replied, “Too important a question…don’t have an answer”.

Having said that, was it indeed so? I wondered. So let’s look at the types of questions that one is faced with from time to time.

Ten Types of questions

1. “Nobody knows everybody cares” type – Investigation agencies, Commissions set up etc. will investigate these forever, but these mysteries may never be solved Unknowns remain unknowns and as time passes the answers elude us until it becomes impossible to get to the truth. These questions will crop up after every tragic incident and will haunt us until we move on to newer events and newer mysteries. Do people today want to know how Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose met his end? Forgotten, isn’t it? e.g.

a. Who killed Aarushi Talwar? Will he/she ever be brought to book?
b. Was the YSR helicopter tragedy a result of flouting safety norms?
c. Who is responsible for the Thekkady boat tragedy?
d. Will Afzal Guru and Ajmal Kasab be hanged for their crimes?

2. “Nobody knows Nobody cares” types – could be great to write about, though. e.g.

a. Which came first the chicken or the egg?
b. Why did the hen cross the road?

3. “What the experts think” – Important questions which only experts are expected to answer – but there are several experts and each one thinks differently, why not? One wonders whether we do have the right answers, after all? Readers/viewers’ queries are included in this category of questions. e.g.

a. Where will the stock markets go from here?
b. Will the real estate prices rise or drop in the next few months and years?
c. Gold? Dollar? Interest rates? Inflation?

4. “When will you do this?” type of question. More of a command really in the guise of a question. (generally from one’s spouse, but then not always), One may not get a proper answer- and results / actions aren’ guaranteed either. e.g.

a. When are you going to clean up the clutter?
b. When are you going to decide about this or the other?
c. When are you going to finish your work?

5. “What do you think?” Opinion poll kind of questions. As if it matters! You have your say but opinion is often divided so we find the stats on the screen to the Question of the Day at the end of the program. Nobody wins, nobody loses and nobody knows for sure. e.g.

a. Is the change in the educational pattern good or bad?
b. Has the RTI Act helped curb corruption?
c. Will the nth pay commission make Government jobs more attractive?
d. Should Archie marry Veronica or Betty?

6. “Why did you do this?” Tell us why - your reasons for your choices. There may be many reasons, but the one you tell will be the socially popular one – not necessarily the one that tilted the decision in its favor. e.g.

a. Why did you change your job?
b. What made you want to leave the country?

7. “When are you going to grow up and learn?” More a venting of frustration than a question seeking answers. The answer is known: Never - but hopes remain! e.g.

a. When are you going to grow up and learn to think for yourself?
b. When are you going to make up your mind about our new furniture?
c. When will Mumbai be able to tackle the flooding during the monsoons?
d. When will our politicians ever own up responsibility for their lapses?
e. When will we be free from the scourge of corruption?

8. Quiz Questions– Time to show off your knowledge base. You may have an answer here! After all you’ve been working on these trivia haven’t you? e.g.

a. Who is the world’s tallest living man?
b. Who is the oldest living person in the world?

9. A Good question - “ That’s a Good Question!” It could be any awkward question, a question that one was hoping wouldn’t be asked or even one which is so tricky that you needed time to decide how to respond and take a few breaths before you begin to answer, so just say it “That’s a good question!”

10. A Stupid Question – At the end of a training session, we have a Q&A session, which invariably begins thus: “There is no such thing as a stupid question. Ask any question!” So I ask the question and after the Q&A session, he concludes “How can questions be stupid? But people who ask them can certainly be!”

Have I missed out on any other types of questions?
Readers are encouraged to write in with their comments, instead of wondering:
“Whatnonsanz! Why the hell did I have to read such a stupid post?” Or
“Does he have to post such nonsanz stuff when he has nothing to say really?
“What kind of post is this?”
Btw, if you want to know the types of blog posts - do read this post by Shilpa Garg here.

The Tweet that wasn't!

2009-09-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

Glad to find this post chosen for the Tangy Tuesday Picks

When I first encountered the phenomenon, I had no inclination to share with the world the answer to their question posed to me: “What are you doing?”! Why would someone want to know what I am up to? How would it help if someone knew that I was racking my brains for the next blogpost while my wife actually wanted me to get up and fetch the plumber. Would my follower come to my rescue? Suggest me an idea or better still fetch me that much-needed plumber and save our family from drowning….???

So it is with this characteristic disbelief in the power of a tweet that I joined Twitter and began telling the world what I was reading, what I was thinking and what I was doing. Thankfully Twitter did not expect me to tell the world what I was not doing! Like not paying attention to what my wife was saying or not paying my bills or insurance premia or whatever-it-is-that-ought-to-be-done. So the world could know about this only from my humor blog and not from twitter updates!

This last week, I was busy reading 140 articles/ columns/ blogposts, each of a length of about 1400 words (not characters) about one tweet from Shashi Tharoor! Each of these 140 thoughtful pieces of labour are worth a read and that is the singular reason of my not posting my thoughts about this tweet all this while.
Perhaps if one were to contest which other tweet posted on twitter since its formation has been so much written about in the print media/blogs/websites other than Twitter, this one certainly takes the cake …and perhaps the Guinness Book record too!

I decided not to post a single word about this much-hyped tweet from the much-admired public figure who is only just stepping into the political waters of India. Unless….unless..unless I really have something different to say from all that has already been said. So here I go and post one without really saying anything at all about the aforesaid tweet.

But it wasn’t long ago that a certain voluminous work of writing which was published by an Indian politician of repute was debated and done to death by the party to which he belonged without so much as reading it! And now it is this 140 character tweet (which I suppose but am not sure) that many have read in full, faced the same wrath as the former for simply using some imaginative colloquial figures of speech! So it is not the length of the text…aha!....that can arouse the sensibilities of the members of the public at large!
(Editor - Readers are requested not to confuse the words length and arouse and members in any other context otherwise unintended by this blogpost).

An answer to a book is a book and an answer to a tweet should be a tweet. So, this post is not an answer to the tweet. So what exactly is this post? Well, I had a nightmare! That the Government of India is planning to regulate and control humour – by forming a Ministry of Humor headed by ….by…by…I couldn’t figure out this guy …because I woke up in a sweat, just then!

To begin with an insertion in the oath: “I shall not hurt the sensibilities of the people of our land by using outlandish phrases, idioms, figures of speech or any kind of grammatical connotations that my countrymen are not familiar with or accustomed to. Nor shall I mock anyone under the pretext of being funny or humorous due to the edge i have over the others due to my knowledge or technological prowess....”
Fellow bloggers may help by supplementing in the comments section!

Going forward, newcomers may be handed out an introductory brief including a few tips compiled by some old timers which goes thus:
To avoid misunderstanding, pandemonium in assemblies resulting in hung parliaments, waste of newsprint, etc., do not use phrases in your tweets, press briefs, media appearances, interviews, like:
1. “barking up the wrong tree” – people may think you called them a dog…worse if it refers to a female fellow-politician, for reasons I am sure you will understand.
2. “his bark is worse than his bite” – for similar reasons
3. “it’s a dog’s life” – in any context for similar reasons
4. “Chewing the cud” or “ruminating” – it will have much the same effect as the well- known “holy cows”
5. “offering gems to swine” – especially intelligentsia coming into politics should avoid this phrase
6. “cleanse the Augean stables” – though it means bring about a reform in some public evil, which every politician must really strive to do, this phrase is banned
7. “ruffle a person’s feathers” – it would amount to calling one a bird or bird-brained depending on which party the offended politician belongs.
8. “a fish in troubled waters” - why not simply say a politician in troubled circumstances, instead of stirring up the oceans with this idiom?
9. “flutter the dovecotes” – though it means disturb the equanimity of a body of people , that is exactly what one will end up doing by using this phrase!
10. “kill two birds with one stone” – you could be tried for plotting a double murder!
11. “beard the lion” – meaning – resolutely approach your superior with a demand – but using this idiom could find your approach road cut once and for all!
12. “riding the high horse” – as in behaving high-handedly - but may be mistaken for reference to horse-trading in politics – using this phrase could cause you nightmares!
13. “a little bird told me” – an inherent risk of a new ministry being set up to investigate the possibility
14. “a white elephant” – to refer to burdensome expense of no value – but may be mistaken to refer to elephant statues and statues of other politicians
15. talking of elephants, don’t even use “Gr8” in your tweets – they may mean ‘Grrr’..for the figure of ‘8’ and might irk the sensibilities of prominent figures like Jayanti Natarajan et al! It is always better to be cautious of such possibilities, you know.

I hope I did have the last word on this one tweet without really saying anything about it!
Could you call something that has been so much written about a mere tweet?

Blogger’s Postscript: If you want to read all the 140 articles about the tweet, try Googling “Shashi Tharoor cattle class holy cow tweet articles columns blogposts” and see for yourself.

I said Googling! Not Go ogling! Damn our sensibilities!

The Giver of Joys

2009-09-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

When visiting government offices, one expects a grumpy-faced, never-in-the-mood, fastidious person at the desk. But when you find a radiant, smiling, cheerful person bursting with energy and enthusiasm sitting in his place, one begins wondering whether you have arrived at the right place or not?! It is this very characteristic effervescence that prompts bosses in his office to assign the responsibility of receiving all foreign dignitaries and escorting them around the most prestigious export manufacturing enterprises set up in SEEPZ in Mumbai. He puts all his charm and knowledge into his conversation, interspersing it with historic facts, which perhaps can be attributed to his interest in archaeology.

For someone who always entertained colleagues by singing on-stage at annual functions or every opportune occasion or lightening up the atmosphere with his wise-cracks even on any other work day, it is but natural to be sporting enough to participate in all events be it sports, social gatherings or musical evenings with his broad smile and ‘ready to play along’ attitude.

Having observed various interesting traits in him, which are not so common in many of us, especially those working in the government offices, one is tempted to ask him - what other interests does he have? Apart from being a good singer – he had been singing on stage with many artistes in his younger days with musical troupes and shared the stage and recording rooms with the likes of Sonu Nigam, Udit Narayan et al – he has been a keen sports enthusiast, especially cricket, he tells me.

Udit Narayan with our Good Samaritan

“What else?”, I was tempted to ask. “Social work” he replied.

“Society has isolated some unfortunate people from the others, simply because fate has been cruel with them, and has denied them the opportunity to celebrate festivals and enjoy life as normal beings. They are shunned by literate, knowledgeable, enlightened, educated people into leading a life of a loner. I love to go to such places, like the Homes for the Aged, Remand homes for street children or Hospitals for Leprosy patients, where people sulk in their own misery, lose hope and crave for someone to come and ask them ‘How are you today?’ ‘Come on, it is festival time, let us celebrate!’ They like me coming over to share a few moments of fun and laughter with them. I entertain them so that they forget their woes, even if it is only for short while. They feel that there is someone who wants us to be happy, wants to talk to us, wants to see us dance and sing!”

Some even wanted to begin celebrating their birthday with him! Perhaps they want to live longer only because they know he will certainly come again! Every Christmas finds our good Samaritan disguise himself as a Santa Claus and do the rounds of the Acworth Municipal Leprosy Hospital at Wadala in Mumbai, where the lesser fortunate ones wait for his arrival at every occasion. When word went around how one kind-hearted soul makes them dance and sing at parties, some celebrities and wealthy industrialists wanted to organize parties they just had to have him around! So when he visited the leprosy hospital in his civil dress, on the insistence of a well-known celebrity, who accompanied him incognito, the inmates wanted to know: “Why didn’t you come here on Christmas day? We had a ball here! You should have been here - you missed it all!”

As Santa Claus posing with the leprosy patients

Urging them to dance with him at the XMas party

Oh they are all dancing now!

That was indeed a dilemma – he must have hoped he could duplicate himself with a human copier so that he could accompany himself to the Xmas Party! But that is what we too may hope for – so that we can use such a device to duplicate such benevolent souls to spread the joy around!

On the occasion of the Joy of Giving Week, scheduled to be observed from September 27th to Oct 2nd 2009, I feature this story as a tribute to the Giver Of Joys, Mr. Chandrakant Birhade, hoping to spread the message about how ordinary folks can share their joys and devote some time for a good social cause! It aint only about money.

The Giver of Joy, Chandrakant Birhade, who needs no special week for bringing himself and many others joy in this world!

Let us conclude with the wise words of Mother Teresa, who spent large part of her lifetime in the care of leprosy patients.

'The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.'
- Mother Teresa

Post-Script: Read about Acworth Municipal Leprosy Hospital, Wadala, Mumbai 400 031 Dr. WS Bhatki, Tel: 24147256 / 24150355

Doing the Write Stuff!

2009-08-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

It is not unusual to find oneself suddenly being engulfed in lots of activities!

Just when I decided to begin a separate blog dealing with the intricate, paradoxical, debatable subject of Foreign Trade Policy developments and their effect on trade and industry, I had an old collegemate call on me telling me about the troubles he had to go through in life. The events he described had so many twists and turns that it could put any bollywood blockbuster to shame.

"Write a book on my life events - it will be a hit!" he suggested, "I know you can do it". So I began with a short summary and send it off to him.

Another acquaintance who came out as an enterprising soul, who learnt about my love for writing soon revealed to me some interesting aspects of his life and I said "Wow! I never knew you...." Soon I would want to write about his noble deeds.
"I want the write-up to touch the readers hearts and make them feel like contributing to society, I know you can do that" he says. I hope to do justice, i think as i leave him with promises.

Back at my desk, I find an invitation to write for a new blog, a novel concept in which one has got to write his/her thoughts on a chosen India-related subject in just 140 words! Twitter - 140 characters. India-tweets - 140 words!

What do i do write the twisting-turning story with blockbuster potential?
Write about the kind-hearted deeds of the acquantance? Work on my professional trade-shade stuff?

The next thing that happens i find an email from blogger-friend Sakhi who has published her first book of short stories! Read about it here .

Great work! Congratulations! I wish her and begin wondering whether publishing my book is the end of a journey or the beginning of one? After publishing my First Artickles Book", I have been able to sell 3 copies of my book all in all - one via Pothi.com and 2 personally!

My good friend Anil, who knows everything, tells me, "If you havent praised Raavan or Hitler or Jinnah...nor have you hurt the feelings of this sect or the other...your book has nothing in it that makes it worthy of banning it or better still burning it...how do you expect to...again you're not a Jaswant or an Advani in fact you're not even a Praveen Mahajan!!??..."

I am convinced "I understand..I understand...but I still do hope someone buys it for some laughs it offers and for gifting it to someone who has sparce access to the internet...
Do buy my First Artickles Book!"

That's also when work beckons! Yells out to me and tells me there is some time-bound projects to attend to and all my thoughts vanish. Suddenly I begin to believe i cant do any of the stuff, i wanted to - at least not now - maybe sometime later.

So i wait for this weekend but all i can manage to do is to post my first 140-word India-tweet post! Check it out here.

Proud to be part of India-tweets! Thanks,Vinod Sharma!

Ganapati Bappa Morya!

2009-08-23T00:37:00.000-07:00

It is again that time of the year when Lord Ganesh comes to our homes in Mumbai!

Our devotion and love for this God is to be experienced to be believed. The positive energy that is generated since the day dawns on us is amazing.

For me, this occasion is incomplete without playing the Ganesh Stotram, Bhajans and Aartis rendered soulfully by Shruti Sadolikar on the Bhaktimala CD.

Just to share these with you in case you haven't heard them, I could find them on the Youtube here:

Shruti Sadolikar’s “Samukha Pratham he Swanaam Gayak...”

Shruti Sadolikar’s “Jai Ganesh Pyaare”

We were pleased also to find our daughter Supriya, who loves to paint in her spare time, express her love for Lord Ganesh this year by painting this for the occasion:

Painting by Supriya Mavinkurve

One does hope that we spare the Lord of some recent songs like "Saas gaali deve" (which now replaces "Pappu cant dance sala" - hope you have read my last year's post) and do play only devotional songs at Ganapati pandals. And that eco-friendly, green initiative idols help preserve our planet for future generations and that austerity in spending is exercised so that we spare a thought (and some funds) for the drought affected fellow-citizens....and a lot such hopes for our collective good.

May Lord Ganesha bestow Success, Happiness and Prosperity upon you and your families! Ganapati Bappa Morya!

Domesticating the Wild

2009-08-18T04:17:00.000-07:00

While watching the video footage on television channels , of the Maharashtra state Minister of Agriculture, Balasaheb Thorat entering and fondling a wild animal, several thoughts and memories came to my mind.

While the media is busy finding fault with the minister with good intentions and blames him for violating the Central Zoo Authority rules, I choose to venture beyond and probe the behaviour of tiger cub.

The docile retraction of the domesticated feline inmate seemed to be a result of confined captivity. Instead of roaring and plunging at the intruders, the poor little thing preferred to be cuddled and fondled for its national audience. A huge disappointment for viewers, expecting a ferocious attack, demanding its rightful share of rugged, wild environs.

Just what exactly would have been at stake for this once-called-wild cat? Was it afraid of losing its new-found and most-loved possession, its cage? Once habituated to a cage in the zoo, where food is delivered at the appointed hour, an animal fears the challenges of the wild and becomes incapable of hunting for its own food, a fact one finds adeptly explained in Yann Martel’s book, Life of Pi.

Was the animal petrified by the entry of the most dangerous of animals, a human being? That too, a politician – a state minister! After poaching on the common man, all their life, this breed takes pride in poaching on wild animals in national forests as their primary leisurely activity.

Human beings have been responsible for causing the destruction of forests and poaching its tigers, did the animal in captivity fear the worst? Was it not a good time to spring at the powerful authority and register its protest for holding it in captivity and appeal to the general public “Mujhe aur mere jungle ko bachaao!”?

With the promise of a national audience by way of media cameras, several causes that deserved public attention could have been highlighted. Why then did it have to chose to sulk under the glare of the camera like a participant of the reality show, “Sach Ka Saamna”? Inspite of being blessed with the inability to speak, the animal had nothing to fear. Was it not the Minister who ought to have feared the truth serum, if at all?

The incident reminded one of a visit to the Sanjay Gandhi National Park in Mumbai, some years ago with my wife’s cousin and her little ones. While we were watching a leopard perched majestically, atop a low tree at the centre of a huge cage, a youngster standing besides us called out to him "Rajaaaah”. The animal immediately recognized his jungle call and seemed delighted to hear his voice. He came prancing excitedly like a child, and got himself fondled by the caller through the net mesh of the enclosure, until what seemed like eternity. “I have fed him since he was born, but I had to leave the city for my village” the charming visitor explained to us. He invited us to pet him while he held him by his nose and we felt somewhat elated by that experience! After thanking him for this unusual opportunity to fondle the wild cat, we left feeling enriched.

There have been numerous stories about animals not forgetting people who have tended to them in their childhood or period of ill-health. Similar stories can be found on the internet. One such incident about a lion embracing a female attendant who had nursed him back to health can be seen here.

We, human beings: evolved, civilized, educated, sophisticated, advanced, liberated, blessed with superior abilities, ends up easily forgetting the hand that feeds and nurtures. There’s certainly a lot for us to learn from the lesser ones amongst us -these animals!

Innovative Hoarding and Ad impacts

2009-08-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

Advertisements impact our lives. Not just in forming our purchasing habits, but also in changing the way we think and live. Some ads boost our morale, while some simply entertain. But when a new mobile service had the daunting task of announcing their arrival on the Mumbai airwaves scene, Aircel broke into new ground. Have you ever seen an outdoor hoarding been put to use by the general public? Kudos to Primesite, Aircel’s ad agency for being innovative when they put up this hoarding near the Milan Subway, which provided a inflatable raft, which could be used when the place gets flooded. “In case of emergency - cut the rope”, said the hoarding.

Milan subway has been a landmark – always submerged once Mumbai experiences rains. All TV channels have begun camping here since the last 4-5 years. So when the water rose waist high, the lay public here did cut the rope as you may read here. We can only hope that whenever we are likely to face any adversity or difficulties, there is always some help available at close quarters.

Last night I met my friend from New Delhi, who told me that our honorable Prime Minister has been greatly influenced by another telecom ad, Idea Cellular - “An idea can change your life”.

How can you say that, I asked. “Well, the latest Idea Cellular ad keeps saying walk and talk all the time. So our PM has walked, though former minister, Yeshwant Sinha alleges ‘not just half the way but all the way to the Pak camp’, though all may not agree here” he said, “and…and… he also wants to talk – walk and talk, walk and talk, walk and talk!”

“Ahaaa!” I say, upon being enlightened.

“Our PM has been toying with several ideas ever since”, he continued, "Having roped in Nandan Nilekani, the corporate head honcho of Infosys into his fold, the PM checked on him whether he could work on a computer program that could generate error-free, trouble-free joint statements in future!"

“While Nandan has begun working on the development of this computer program of great national importance, our PM has been working on other ideas that can change our life”

“Such as?”, I ask eagerly.

“He wants a mind reading machine to read the scheming minds of our neighbours, who keep bumping into us at Sharm-El-Shaikh or wherever”

“Oh, that would be of great help!” I exclaim.

“Well that is exactly what everyone in the Indian Government also exclaimed – you know if they ever knew what our PM was thinking about or contemplating – we could have averted this bad drafting episode”, he said.

“We have such great people capable of drafting here in India” I added enthusiastically, hoping our PM would, sooner than later, send out word for me, though I know there would be many in the fray.

“I am completely in agreement with our PM that we must keep talking to Pak, keep them engaged”, he said.

“How about sending a team consisting of Navjot Singh Siddhu, Rakhi Sawant, Cyrus Broacha, Karan Thapar, Shekhar Suman….they can all talk until eternity, cant they?” I asked. Feeling outsmarted by this one, my friend sensed it was time to leave.

“Stay on, tell me some more inside stuff, dear friend”, I coaxed him.

He then pulled me closer, in a hushed voice confided:
“Our PM had been waiting for a SIM card from the US, which Hillary Clinton delivered during her visit here recently – nobody knows this - not even the media”

“A SIM card? Why do we need a SIM Card, don’t we have several of them here?” I asked.

“This is a special one for our country ................
the Superpower-In-Making Card for India”, he concluded.

So that we can walk with our head high....and talk, I thought!
What an idea Sirji!

Blogger's Postscripts:
1. This blog does not encourage you to walk while you talk on the cellphone. There have been several criticisms about this ad campaign - the unsafe manner in which pedestrians are busy talking on cellphones without being watchful of vehicles or potholes on the roads could be disastrous. My personal choice is not to walk when you talk.

Read more about the walk and talk about talks with Pak head straight to my friend, Vinod Sharma's blogpost here.

An announcement

2009-07-18T01:56:00.001-07:00

Do read an important announcement about the inauguration of a special school in my "Small Steps along the way" Blog here.

Vote for me at Indibloggers!

2009-07-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

Friends,

Indiblogger had decided to feature "Original Humour" for their latest contest.

My ArTicKles Blog has been nominated for the IndiBlogger of the Month contest.

Please vote for me!

The nominations are listed here!

Many Thanks for your support as always!

Highness in Goa

2009-07-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

You know you’re in Goa when……
1. You see all shops shut down by 9 pm except liquor outlets which never seem to close at all!
2. The shopkeeper pulls down the shutters even as you are attempting to enter it...especially if it is time for his afternoon lunch and siesta between 1300 hrs and 1600 hrs.
3. Your travel from anyplace to anyplace in Goa is through lush greenery – for a Mumbaikar, all roads appear similar to the Aarey Colony road in Goregaon (East, which is only one of its kind in Mumbai.
4. You find well-maintained benches to sit down at all intersections – and the locals haven’t vandalized them.
5. You find extremely friendly people all around and what’s more you can speak to anyone in Konkani – it is my mother-tongue!
6. You see everyone sporting the Goa-theme T-shirts – there are several on offer everywhere.
7. You will also find youngsters wear T-shirts declaring the Goan attitude:
“Proud to be lazy”, You said it! Who doesn’t know this place is great to relax-
“ susegaad”, as they say here in Goa, which means laidback attitude!
“Conserve water – Drink Beer” Hey why not Feni, guys? Wouldn’t that have been more apt?
“Girlfriends are like medicines – they come with expiry dates” Perhaps they also come with side effects, huh?

We were in Goa for a week, after paying obeisance at our family deity kuladeva at Mangeshi Temple, it was time to relax, unwind, roam around, soak in the nature, gorge on Goan seafood preparations and desserts, that you can only get in plenty here.

While in Goa, I had the opportunity to read the local newspaper Navhind Times. I was really impressed by the number of articles and letters expressing concern about the need to protect the environment and the greens in that tantalizing state, which has been not yet spoilt by polluting industries. When we, urban citizens speak of progress, we often mistake industrialization to be the only real progress. Don’t we want to preserve some places like Goa, Kerala or Himachal in their pristine beauty?

I appreciate the state’s stand not to join the SEZ bandwagon and preference to control rapid industrialization. Albeit, a little too late – after approving a handful of SEZs which were de-notified subsequently. Not fair for the promoters, though. You need to know your strengths – Goa’s strength is its natural beauty, culture and tourism – not industry.

Goa celebrated what is called the “Sao-Jao” festival on 24th June. Youngsters wearing colorful bands around their heads made of flowers dashed around in motor-cycles all day to take part in the finale which would mean taking a dip in the river or sea, drink beer, partake a meal of seafood and meat and dance away into the night. It reminded us of the Goa Carnaval, held each year in February (we had the opportunity to witness the carnaval in 1988).

Goans sure know how to have fun!

The local newspapers carried some special features about fighting drug abuse and educating and rehabilitating youngsters on the occasion of the International Day against drug abuse and trafficking observed on the 26th of June every year.
Several youngsters who had overcome their drug habit forever and some who were struggling to do so had related their experiences in these articles. It was only ironic that as I was reading these articles, the news of the death of Michael Jackson was being telecast on the telly.

Goa is known to be a place to have fun! But some youngsters need to have the right idea of fun. Drugs provide a false sense of euphoria and well-being which eventually leads to a painful existence once hooked, as I could gather. I do sincerely hope youngsters in Goa learn to have some clean healthy fun. Like reading my humor blog and, of course, my book which is available here!

For some useful blogs/writeups about Goa read these links.
Edwin Fernandes – The susegad era that was
Goan Culture

Finally, a rare Goan delicacy you must carry back for your friends – Bebinca! I did!

There is plenty to get high on when you are in Goa!
One would almost call you “Your highness”…

A million words!

2009-06-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

With the birth of Astha Arora, India’s population touched the one billion mark on 11th May 2000.
Web 2.0 is the millionth word in the English language according to Global Language Monitor

Newspapers and websites were agog with speculation about which word would be the millionth word that GLM would announce earlier this month. Could it be Jai Ho? Could it be slumdog? Or would it be n00b? The suspense was building each day, as reports about the possible millionth word were being published daily . While many Indians rooted for ‘Jai Ho’ for the coveted millionth word in English, some amongst us said, but Jai Ho are two words, not one! Well some even said “But ‘Jai Ho’ is a song!”. Which, of course it is!

Whether it is two words, a song or whatever - I personally preferred “Jai Ho” to "slumdog"! I had been thinking of posting my views at that time, but somehow couldn’t pull of a meaningful string of thoughts – an important condition for a post on the ArTicKles blog. Not enough whatnonsanz to be specific. (One day it will be the 2 millionth word, i hope)

Now that Web 2.0 has been dropped upon us as the millionth word, we have more to ponder and debate. For instance, what exactly is a word? We never needed to ask that question “what exactly is a child?” when young Astha Arora was born. It took a million words in English before we could ask "what exactly is a word" though! My first reaction upon reading the much-awaited announcement was, “Web Two Point Zero? It’s not a word!”

But if it is the millionth word, as we are told, well, it’s got to be a word! It couldn’t be the millionth word without being a word, certainly! “It is an alpha-numeric term” ,one may say. But then so is n00b – which is “n zero zero b”, a combination of letters and numerics, meaning a newcomer in the online gaming community, incidentally.

While there have been several reports in the press expressing the choice to be genuine and apt, Web 2.0 – its arrival ushering in new experiences for the netizens, the comments and views expressed by various writers seem to indicate otherwise. Some have even raised the question that if terms like “financial tsunami” and “wardrobe malfunction”, (which are in reality two words or if you insist, a phrase), have been included in the count to the millionth word. So can we really say we have the millionth word after all?

Pssst - Btw, I suppose “chemical locha” of Munnabhai fame is included already!

Well if GLM has opened its doors wide to welcome all kinds of words, phrases, songs etc, I would suggest them to include “Pappu cant dance sala”. Well, my reasoning is that it is better a word than a song!

So what happened to Jai Ho and Slumdog?

The 999,997th word was Slumdog, the 999,998th was the Hindi salutation Jai Ho, the 999,999th word was N00b, from the internet meaning a new member of an online gaming community, while the 1,000,001st was “financial tsunami”.

Which brings us to the question what constitutes a word for the GLM?

The Global Language Monitor accepts as a word any coinage that has gained sufficiently wide usage: this includes hybrid words in Chinglish (Chinese English), Hinglish (Hindi English), Spanglish (Spanish English), Hollywords (terms created by the film industry), including slang, word-marriages with other languages and the thousands of new terms spawned by the internet. computer jargon and words forged by the internet. The word does not have to be in any dictionary! In fact, the latest Oxford English Dictionary has only about 616,500 word forms.

And just how does GLM decide which word gets entered into their list of words?

Each contender is analysed according to depth (number of citations) and breadth (geographic extent of word usage), as well as the number of times a word has appeared in the global print and electronic media, the Internet, blogs, and social media such as Twitter and YouTube. Words need a minimum of 25,000 citations to qualify.

If you need to know more click here for GLM’s FAQ.
Now we know!
Could this just be a popularity gimmick for GLM and the Technology geeks?

You may also notice how the millionth word has been described by the GLM:
“Web 2.0 - the next generation of web products and services, coming soon to a browser near you”. That sounds more like an ad to me! Perhaps it is. I wonder whether they got the cue from our Regional Transport Office in Mumbai, who sell privileged registration numbers like 1111, 9999, 3000 and of course, 786 to people with moneybags to part with!

It was nice fun, anyway. Considering my love for new words. Jai Ho!

Blogger's Postscript:
Oh, and just in case you haven’t read ( I know you have! ) my article on the subject of new words in English in the TOI on 16th June 09, here’s the link.

At the Blogscars 2009

2009-06-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Long post alert!
(I couldn’t make it short, because I ran out of ideas)

Just as the Oscars night is the much-awaited event looked forward to by the glitterati, the Blogscars, as Indian Home Maker calls it, is its parallel in the blogosphere, looked forward to by the blogeratti. The most phenomenal blogger, Indian Home Maker (IHM) had hosted this event recently in her blog. You may read it here.

Ever since I have been blogging, it has been a delight when fellow-bloggers have pitched in time and again with their encouraging words of praise (which may have led me to come so far as 65+ posts and 15000 hits). Though I personally don’t believe in quantitative targets and do accord greater importance to quality of content, I also do believe that for a small-time, unknown writer like me, reaching out to hundreds or perhaps thousands was a dream. Why else would one write if not to share one’s thoughts or ideas?

"It is with great pleasure that I announce that IHM has given me The Versatile Blogger award! Thank you, IHM! I would fail in my duty (to make it sound like a speech), if I would not mention here that IHM has painfully listed out the bloggers who have received this award along with the reasons – the posts which have got the award their way! The effort you have put in is laudable, IHM! Take a bow! It also gave us an opportunity to read your handpicked blogposts from amongst us."

For me, it has been for this post, “Daughters are forever”.
- A post, which will always remain closest to my heart!

When IHM tagged me to do a post listing five things that changed me when I became a father, I wondered what to write! So when I mentioned this to my daughter, she immediately said, “You have already written about this, haven’t you?” So IHM, I couldn’t think past this post, which is actually about how my life changed with the arrival of my daughter in my life. So I take it as having done it already, and hope that I wouldn't get any punishment for not doing my asignment(homework)!

My regular readers may have noted the rather unusual manner in which I do announce my awards. andThis is when I got the Blog of the day award from Bill Austin.

And this post, when Indyeah gave me this Kreativ Blogger Award

And this is when Krishnan and Sahaja had given me the Proximidade and Butterfly awards. I had even posted a limerick for each of the award recipients that I conferred it to in turn. Read this post here.

The blogging journey has proved to me that there are several talented writers who have been showing their creativity through their designs, thoughts, words and innovative posts. So if they have been awarded by their fellow-bloggers, it has been really a well-deserved recognition of their contribution to the blogosphere. Some call it Blogiverse (blog + universe). Or should I just say Blog-Samaj as Hitchwriter aka Dhirenbhai says in his comments?

Before I get to the awarding ceremony, let me share with you the several new words that are either being used or have the potential to be used extensively with the advent of blogs. The word blog, as you know is already a crafty shortened version of the words web log. I stumbled upon several such words derived from the word blog, chiefly combination words. The ones that immediately caught my attention are listed below:

Blogaholic – someone who’s life subsists on online blogs

Blogarrhea - An ailment afflicting bloggers. Excessive and frequent evacuation of blog postings, runny ones with little substance, usually indicating emotional distress or disorder.

Blogorrhea - A blog characterized by excessive commenting on irrelevant facts. We say that the blogger suffers from uncontrollable verbal discharge or blogorrhea.

Bloggebrity – n. A person who has become famous through blogging.

Blogworthy – When something happens in your life that is worth mentioning in your blog

Blogalization - Increase in global communication and awareness through the activities of Internet blogging. A coinage, not yet very popular term in English but well spread in French and German

Blogarazzi - Plural noun: bloggers who flock to a news story or event the way paparazzi flock to celebrities.

Bloganova –A variation of "Casanova", referring to a man who is amorously attentive to women, by means of a blog - A Casanova operating through blogs!

Blogathon - A competition between two friends on myspace. The two, three, twelve or more friends each write a blog and compeat to see who gets the most blog views, comments and kudos. The person with the most views, comments, kudos etc. wins the blogathon, thus having the best blog. People who participate in blogathons are usually sad, middle-aged men who live with their mothers and teenage girls trying to prove their popularity.

Bloggerazzi – An individual that waits for authors of popular blogs to post new enteries so that they can be the first to leave a comment.

Bloggerssistic - When someone has a blog that they won't stop talking about.
A: "Have you read my blog yet?"
"You should read my blog."
"Well, if you read my blog, you would already know that."
"I am SO posting this picture on my blog."
B: "Shut up! You are so bloggerssisstic."

Blogiot - Somebody who comes off as an idiot in their blog.

Blogistan - The Blogiverse. The collective term for all webloggers, or "bloggers." (Dhiren – I still love your Blog-Samaj)

Blogiversary - The yearly anniversary of someones web-log (blog)

Blogiarism - Blatant theft of blog contents and/or entries, to be added to any other blog, site or publication without notating the origin or author and without their expressed consent.

Blogopreneur - One who generates income via advertising on their blog

Blogstipation – Inability to think what to blog about!

When I tried to coin some new words based on 'blog', I google-searched the web to see if they were already existing, that is when I found so many of them listed in the Urban Dictionary website . You may scroll down the list on the left hand side to explore many more.

I would like to give this award to the following well-deserved bloggers:

Vinod Sharma – for successfully posting humorous political posts besides his usually brilliant commentaries on the state of politics and the nation, which lend the topic an expanse of oceanic dimensions.

Sakhi – for being able to find a wide variety of subjects for her short stories. One could almost play a game about which subject she would take up next and lose it altogether! I would have missed out on her photography blog if I hadn’t been following her on Twitter!

Nita – for her untiring energy to delve into facts and figures, views and counterviews, practices and observations to cover subjects that our minds had somehow never thought of visiting.

Sahaja – for picking up her camera and letting us see the world through her eyes, besides continuing her everlasting smiles posts about her experiences in her blog.

Mavin – for sharing his thoughts about India and the challenges of personal finances that we face each day, but do not spend enough time to study analytically,

Priyank – for enjoying what he does and posting those breathtaking pictures which capture nature and its freshness – they arrive fresh on your blogspots, Priyank. Makes me wonder - is it Pure Oxygen or Ozone, that you load it with?

IHM – for bringing up subjects, which some of us would rather not want to think about. And deal with them with the sensitivity and truthfulness that make us want to agree, to change the world and get up and act!

Indyeah – for coming up bolder than ever with her opinion. For rooting for it and for letting us know her passion to be teaching little ones and what it means to her.

Usha Pisharody – for her insightful posts and for being a committed teacher too!

Krishnan – for finding some thoughtful gems of tidbits and trivia – especially about literature and books and for sharing all that he finds interesting on his blog.

Manju – for finding inspiring treasures in the heap of news, controversies, gossip and a trillion trivia.

Swaps - for being where he should be ready with his camera and finding some sights that we may have spent a lifetime to find and still may not have, and then sharing it for us all with some clever words or poetry to go down with.

Now, for some of my new finds you too get this award and also I am blogrolling you guys!

Hitchwriter – Dhiren – for being very humorous in his posts about his experiences. It gives me great pleasure to find more bloggers taking to humor, when subjects of intense debate and opinions generally command popularity and get the eyeballs.

Vishesh – for taking up the contest route and for choosing humor as the subject. You’re sure to enjoy this, just as all your readers are too!

Winnie the Poohi - for being innovative in the way you have conducted the interviews of fellow-bloggers. I had come across such a blog “Being-a-blogger”, which had interviewed hugely popular bloggers, but found it was defunct by the time I had discovered it!

To all those who have been commenting on my blog, my sincere thanks! To all fellow bloggers, I may not have posted comments on all your posts, but do be assured that I do make it a point to find time and have been coming over to reading them and enjoying them!

For someone who just wanted to post his write-ups on the net, I have come a long way! It is so nice to feel like we are one big blogging family here. Can't think of a new word for this great feeling, though. Thank you, all!

Dealing with a Four letter F-word

2009-05-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

It is high time we dealt with this four letter F-word! Well, I am not referring to the one that is being commonly used to express surprise, shock, anger, awe or all of it at the same time. I am talking about the other 4-letter F-word, which is about the emotion that we all have experienced sometime or the other, Fear!

In early childhood, one may have observed that a young one is usually free from fear. You may be perched at the edge of a high fence or wall, or you may be about to touch the hot tea kettle - you aren’t scared! But could we call it bravery? Certainly not! Being unaware of the dangers can be damaging. So at this very early stage in life, that parents and well-wishers rush in to make the child aware of the impending dangers and be wary of them to protect the tender young one.

Again as a child, does one fear other people? Certainly not! A child normally trusts that the world is full of just the angels they wanted to meet – except, of course, when someone is aggressive. But don’t we want our kids to learn that certain things are, strictly, no-no? “Don’t touch that crystal – it cost us a fortune!”, you yell at the child, for you know how many day’s wages it cost you to buy it and you don’t want him to drop it and break such a lovely possession. It wouldn’t be long before the little imp learns to cope with high decibel levels and continues to do just what he wanted to – pick up that crystal - and throw it!

So your effort to control the child’s behavior has just failed and the child has just learnt how to overcome the “fear” of a yelling adult? Time to look for a better and more effective method, you tell yourself. How about spanking? Or punishing the child, maybe? You are at your wits’ end, nevertheless. You are yet to discover the really effective means to discipline your child, when it is time for the child to go to play-school. Now you have other folks, such as teachers or school administrators, who would be willing to share the responsibility of “formatting” your child to the worldly ways.

But are we as adults at our wits’ end, when it comes to meting out punishments to little ones? Instances of beating up children, making them stand in the hot sun, with bricks on their shoulder, for one. And several such instances.

Is it not time that parents, teachers, educationist and child psychologists got together and listed out punishments that are OK and those that are not?

This is not to deny that efforts are being made to address this issue.

Teachers who are indulging in such incidents are also being dealt with firmly of late.

Do schools have guidelines about how teachers could punish students or how they ought not to? If not, it is high time they did! I feel like conducting a survey on the schools around and find out if they had such dos and donts about the methods of punishment to erring students! In these days of awareness, when the Government has introduced ads on visual media to deal with domestic violence (Knock the door campaign), is it not time to also discourage violence meted out to children in schools?

Once out of school, it is time to join college, perceived to be a fun place, where teachers don’t rap on knuckles or fling dusters anymore. One is not so sure whether the child’s “formatting” was complete or not, but you sure did pass the exams and stuff. So off you go to college – to have fun! But one wonders what one’s idea of fun really is? If it is cracking jokes in the canteen in that occasional time off accruing out of an unwell professor or slipping away to a multiplex near your college once in a while, that may be quite what one expected. But “fun” could mean different things to different people – especially your seniors!

Their idea of fun could be ragging younger newcomers - and that could spell trouble for you! I am not sure how rampant is this practice of ragging, but some extreme cases of violence that get reported by the media, give us an impression that students are certainly crossing borders when it comes to the scale of brutality and cruelty involved in the cases reported. Some college students, however do reveal about some mild forms, like making them dance for a song or some such trivial fun session – certainly not the kind which turns “real fun” into its ugly anagram - “funeral”.

Such gory incidents have been reported recently, notably, that of young Aman Kachhroo. But, after reading the reports about these incidents, one begins to believe that these cases are not just incidents of ragging, but something beyond that – perhaps, persistent bullying. These criminal acts of assault on innocent juniors would certainly be dealt with by the police suitably, I have no doubt about that, but what are we doing to avoid these incidents from happening?

Aman’s father, Rajendra Kachhroo, has begun the “Aman Movement” and several steps have been taken since the spate of events have occurred recently. The President Smt, Pratibha Patil has also written to the Governors of all states as reported here.

Also, a recent news item talks about UGC’s plans to have a toll-free national level call centre as a “Ragging Helpline” being set up to help those in distress on account of this growing menace.

It is with this background that one realizes that the child had not been taught in school, about how to deal with bullies! How come a handful of bullies terrorize so many younger students and harass them endlessly in the college campus? Hey, but weren’t we busy teaching the child to fear all along? Shouldn’t we spare a thought about how the child would cope with bullies in college campuses and prepare them to face such situations?

Isn’t it time to introduce courses and discussion forums to embolden the child, so that one gathers courage to speak up against the scourge of bullying and deal with this menace more effectively? Personally, I think it is very important to address this issue – perhaps as important as sex education in schools, the importance of which is being stressed upon by one and all.

The world is yet to learn to cope with terrorists, extremists, tyrants, scamsters, criminals, dadagiri, and what-have-you – all bullies of a kind! Special trainers, who inspire victims of this form of abuse to collectively confront such bullies. Experts are needed, who may equip youngsters to deal with toughies and help set up a forum in every educational institute to counsel the offending brute. Indeed, the need of the hour!

Bloggers’ Postscript: I had been wanting to write about this for a long time. I had been posting my rare serious posts elsewhere, especially in Tickled by Life website. So after I uploaded this article on that website, I felt the only way to reach out to all my regular readers would be by posting this article in full here! Friends, this is just tickling of another kind, as I have learnt!

Zoopremely Zooperb idea!

2009-05-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

We find creativity in every walk of life, but don’t happen to notice it. Perhaps because we think that creativity necessarily means creating some thing new. There is no denying that creativity can take several forms. Certain activities do involve a high degree of creativity, such as writing a short story or a poem, composing a new song, painting a landscape or a portrait or just about some abstract expression.

Advertising has been vastly banking on creative ideas – they always need to have some new ideas to attract eyeballs – “attention-getting value”, as they say. Take the example of zoozoos of the Vodafone series of ads that have been a rage on our television screens recently. Everyone thought the ads used the animation technique and that models had nothing to do with them. We learnt how wrong we were when Mumbai Mirror published a couple of articles on how these ads were created! Read all about it here!

Please click on the images to enlarge

You may have certainly seen these ads which have become popular on the TV and are also available on YouTube

Though the field of advertising has always been a profession which valued creativity and thrived on new ideas, one finds refreshingly new concepts take shape in every field – be it the performing arts, literature, photography, music, as is popularly believed.

It cannot be denied that some professions offer better opportunities to showcase your creativity, though in reality, whatever your passion, interest or profession, you could always be creative and look for some new ideas or some better ways to do the same old things. If we look around there is a lot of creativity around us.

We all need to think out of the box. Except, of course, Dr. Vijay Mallya, who needs to think out of the bottle.

Experts' Predictament

2009-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future”, said Niels Bohr, aptly.

For this predicament faced by experts, in making a prediction, I have coined a new word, “Predictament”.
hurrah – I just coined a new word!
That's how much I love neologism!)

However it doesn’t deter experts from sticking their neck out to indulge in crystal-gazing of sorts and make those prophesies, that forecast the course of future events or results. We have just seen the psephologists take centre-stage during the electoral process that just got underway. Equipped with a great deal of information in their chosen field of study, they boast of possessing various techniques to predict the outcomes of the polls. The season offers them ample airtime to showcase their skills and put forth their own “verdict” – not before putting forth several possible scenarios and the most likely outcome and their reasons for their choice.

Well, this is generally the time, I am itching for those zoozoos to come up and provide the much needed comic relief. Anyway, finally all that matters was the real results, which came to us live all of yesterday – we finally have a car without the “Left-Hand Drive” sign tagged to its rear! The shear thought of handing over the brakes to one party, the accelerator to another, the steering wheel to yet another gives the citizen enough fright to ride such a vehicle. We are glad that such not being the case, all that is needed is to have some wheel-alignment check done before continuing on our journey of reform and progress.

Though experts in every field are entrusted the task of envisaging what lies ahead, it is the stock market experts that have drawn my attention and held me in a vice-like grip for several years now. Be it the Annual Budget, the monetary policy, the foreign trade policy or the election results – how will the markets react to the various possible scenarios is something that this bunch of enlightened professionals embark upon before each such event.

Predicting the course of the stock-markets, indeed is like handing over a car fitted with a windshield mirror instead of a glass and asking a Formula One champ to drive it based on how the road wound and swerved behind him! The poor fella’s got to figure how the road will turn in front – there is no way he can peep into the road ahead and neither is anyone driving back in the opposite direction to ask him for some tips. At least not until the time machine becomes a reality.

So I like these smart chaps coming one after the other and tell us, “If the Sensex crosses 13000, it will see 14500 and if it slides below 11500, it will see 10250”

“I don’t know why people are not buying into the markets – the fundamentals are really strong!”

“I don’t see buying coming until the bottom has been formed”

Well, the hunt for the elusive bottom at the bourses is something that is every investor’s fancy. “Do you see a bottom?” “Is the bottom in place?”

“If all goes well the bottom is behind us!”

Listening to all this, it appears that anyone of us could be those experts! If you can figure out the bottom by the time the artist is working on the shoulder, I suppose I could handle that!

The recent rise in the stock markets – the run up from Sensex at 8k to 12k before the announcement of the results is a case in point. It reminds me of the comic dialog by the legendary comedian Asit Sen ,who characterized his funnies as a stockily built man swinging his arms as he walked and talked slower than his movements. In one of his movies, he enters the room of the Sethji seeking his permission thus:

“Kyaaaa main andar aaaaaaaa saktaaaaaaa hoooooonnnnnnnn?
Arreeeyyy, main to andar aaaaa bheeeee gayaaaaaaaaaaa...!” (Hindi, for "May i come in? Oh, I have already come in!")
as he stood in the center of the big room in front of the Sethji!

This is how the markets had already climbed up before we knew they were bouncing back. And that indeed is their Predictament!

Often, when we watch the news on any non-eventful day the market has surged a couple of hundred points and my wife asks me “Why did it go up today?”
“Because it had gone down too much, I suppose” I reply.
Let alone predict, I cannot even explain why the markets went up or down after the event. The entire fun is in not knowing, I suppose.

Blogger’s Postscripts:
1. For once, I will be able to tell why the market went up on Monday 18th May 09 – because of the prospect of a stable government at the centre! But will my wife ask?

2. Just when I was typing out this piece and a suitable heading for it, the idea of coining the new word came to me – it was my Ah-ha moment!

My best blogpost

2009-04-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

This post may seem like a small little game for my blog readers and even to the recent visitors to my blog who have not read my older posts.

Below is the list of my favorite humorous blogposts. Please read them and let me know which according to you is the best one?

Many of you may have read all these posts, but if you havent read them, please do so now before you take your pick. If you think there is any other post that i may not have listed here, you are welcome to point out!

Newcomers are requested to read these posts before making your choice!

This list is in chronological order - beginning with the earliest ones first!

1. Mobile Supermaniac

2. Daughters are forever

3. Determined Diggers Unite

4. Right in the Middle

5. My Password Phobia

6. Biometric Allergy - Mark my presence

7. Human Beans

8. Animal Qualms

9. A Tickle after a Tipple

10. Pot(hole)s of Money

11. The Baap Trap

12. A Rotimaker for the Kitchen

13. Palin Talk

14. Tagged on Feminism

15. The Satyam about monkey attacks

16 A bit of this and that

17.Gadbad, I scream

18. Breaking News all around

19. Bhaagore.com

20. My thinking shoes

So now that you have read my funniest posts, do let me know the best post - the one that you liked most.

Eagerly awaiting your comments.

Getting Board?

2009-04-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

When my wife's cousin, Ashwin came down from Bangalore for a brief stay recently, I found some really funny signboards and stuff that he had clicked while on the move.

So when I requested him to share it with me for posting on my blog, he was kind enough to agree.

"Mere Paas Maa hai"

Certainly couldn't be for sale with biscuits and snacks? This Maa turned out to be some Mango juice, Maaza or its distant cousin...thankfully!

"If US offers HotDogs, we offer Veg Pups"

Before Maneka Gandhi and the animal activists descend on the scene, let me clarify that inquiries revealed that they were offering Veg Puffs and Egg Puffs!

Now here are some chatpata "Name-keens", as Ashwin calls them

"Baap Ka Maal" it says. Attitude indeed!

"Pocket Faad ke" Do they mean our wallet? Perhaps!

That's "do aur do paanch" - Adds up to more!

Funny Restaurant Board

Can you figure this out? You get the restaurant along with ...?

Funny Zoo Sign

Funny Dog Sign

What we can call a Sureshot Message Sign

Looking for directions? Check out this Funny Roadsign

Do you find yourselves at such junctures at times?

You have been warned!

Apparently some were found on the information superhighway! Thanks for the pics, Ashwin!

Our Furrst Budday!

2009-04-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

On 10th April 2009, The ArTicKles Blog completes one year!

It's our Fursst Budday! Let us celebrate!
Get the Balloons, the solitary candle and the Cake....

Thanks to all the blog readers, fellow bloggers, commenters - to each and every one of you, without whom we wouldnt have been able to make this journey together!

- The Editorial Team (consisting of my mouse, keyboard, right index finger)
- The Production Team (consisting of my laptop, my sofa, my internet connection, google.com, blogger.com, hotmail.com)
- The Creative Team (my shoes, the pot-holed roads, the politicians, the newsreaders and just about anyone who gives me an idea)

My Thinking Shoes!

2009-04-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

If you have been a regular reader of this blog, you would know that most of my blog posts have been a result of ideas that come to me when I am on my brisk morning walk. Most people put on their thinking hats, whenever they need to.

Well, I put on my thinking shoes. An old pair of Reebok Sports shoes, which I got free with my Orange SIM Card, and still going strong.

Of late, I observe that my shoes are not functioning properly. No, it is not that I cannot walk properly or that the shoes are tearing. The pair has really lasted quite a long time. “Orange” has become “Hutch” and “Hutch” has become “Vodafone”, but these faithful shoes have been serving me all along. The trouble is that I am not getting any good ideas during my long brisk walks these days.

During one of my walks, I was just wondering how this amazing accessory, meant to cover my bare feet, could give me such wonderful ideas? Positioned at the other extreme in relation to my skull (my cranial box), this pair, which cannot be called downtrodden, helps me think “out of the box”. The cranial box, that is.

I have never ever treated my pair of shoes as “just a pair of shoes”. Never! In fact, whenever the shoelaces come off on their own during my morning walks, I have patiently tied them back lovingly, without getting upset, without a whimper. Though a thought of requesting my researcher-friend to do some work to figure out how these shoes manage to untie the laces on their own did cross my mind at times. But then since I got this idea while on my walk, I can proudly attribute it to this faithful pair trudging along with me.

If you thought this awesome footwear only protected my feet from the heat, stones and dust on the road, you’re wrong! So why then have my shoes stopped helping me come up with some good ideas for the next blog post? I wondered.

Today morning, when my shoelaces came off on their own, I bent down and while I tied them back, had a small little chat with my shoes.

“Wassup, guys? Why so glum?”, I began the conversation.
“Who are we and who really cares?”, they replied as though they knew this question was coming up.
“Hey, I have always treated you with great respect!”
“But nobody know us. Look at some of the other shoes - they are appearing on Prime Time TV”
“For all the wrong reasons, aren’t they?”

“Wrong reasons? They have been more effective than all the editorial columns and the combined fury of the opinion columnists put together! They have been the most effective instruments of getting the world’s attention to issues that get brushed aside inspite of the hundreds of write-ups and zillions of blog posts arguing this way and the other”

“You’re right, 'effective' they certainly have been – but then, you should be proud that finally your ilk have braved against all odds from the lowly position you held in society – near the feet, that is - you have been flung ..er.. sorry, raised to greater heights! You now rub shoulders with Cabinet Ministers. You are going places and leaving a footprint all over the world. People are left wondering Shoe's next?”

“Of course, we are proud of them, celebrity shoes! But what about us? We have been silently contributing to your blog and making several thousands…er ..or is it just dozens?... laugh. But we don’t get the slightest credit for it, not even a mention in your blog!”

“But you have never sulked in this way before, now who gave you this stupid idea?”

“Well, when we were kept in the shoe-rack of the Ganapati temple yesterday whilst you were praying to the Almighty, all the other shoes and chappals were talking about their prospects at being hurled at somebody or the other. Their folks hate someone or the other and keep talking about wanting to settle scores one politician or the other on an opportune day. When they asked us about our prospects - oh, how we had to confide our pitiable state because you don’t ever hate any politician or get mad at any public figure. In fact we told them you avoid them like the plague - that at best you would take potshots at them on his blog - our chances to worldwide popularity is really bleak to say the least”

“If popularity is all you are seeking, I promise you I will write about you in my next post, now cheer up!”, I concluded.

Hopefully, my shoes will be happy with this post and continue to support this blog as always!

Blogger’s Postscript: Read my First post on the ArTicKles Blog here and take this quiz.
Quiz: What must we do on 10th April 2009?

The mystery of the scary metallic sound

2009-04-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

The Mystery of the Scary Metallic Sound

By Supriya Mavinkurve

Finally, we boarded the Udyan Express at Mumbai to attend a wedding ceremony in Bangalore. A quick survey of the co-passenger revealed that my journey would be peaceful, without the usual chaos caused by crying children or wailing infants through the night, as we did not catch sight of any kid around. None of the adults were chattering away excitedly, as one normally expects in a long-distance train journey. The train rattled away on its tracks, swaying merrily as it customarily does.

The lights went off, one after the other, and soon it was dark enough to sleep. It was a tiring day for me – waking up early to pack-up; trying to complete my college assignments at hand; sending those last minute emails; posting Orkut messages and of course, leaving well in time to reach the railway station. We had had an early dinner as the train leaves at 8 pm in the evening. My weary eyes closed, but my ears continued to listen to the rattling sound of the train. I tossed and turned, but my ears would not allow me to sleep peacefully.

Then, I heard this strange sound – of some electric saw drilling through solid metal! Was someone cutting open the window to get in? I looked out of the window. Nothing unusual, only darkness and some stray light reflecting on the dark silhouettes of trees, whizzing past. My ears may be playing a trick on me, I thought. I tried to catch up on my much-needed forty winks, but it was, this mysterious sound again, louder and sharper, this time around. Was there someone on the roof trying to cut it apart and get in? Was a terrorist at work here? Or a dacoit? We had not heard of dacoits in this region, but who knows, I wondered. Or was it just a technician trying to fix something in the toilet, which was only a couple of berths away?

Every one else seemed to have logged off for the day. Was it worth waking up someone, maybe my Mom? I couldn’t possibly go off to sleep, when there could be an attack any moment, could I? I peered into the darkness and waited to see if the ‘electric-saw-cutting-into-metal’ sound would be heard again. After all, it could just have been a figment of my imagination! Then it came again - louder and shriller, cutting deeper, from across the opposite berth. Was this large sized guy sleeping across me up to some mischief, pretending to sleep? I picked up my air-filled pillow up as a shield and shook my hands violently, as though staving off an offender. The offender took no notice of the waved pillow and the sound became shriller, reached the crescendo, and then punctured off like a gush of air escaping from a deflated tire.

Oh, he had just been snoring!!!

Blogger's Post-Script: Encouraged by the response to her first contribution to my blog, Supriya has written another one which i am sharing with you all. Thanks, Supriya!