Gopinath's "ArTicKles"

An announcement

2009-07-18T01:56:00.001-07:00

Do read an important announcement about the inauguration of a special school in my "Small Steps along the way" Blog here.

Vote for me at Indibloggers!

2009-07-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

Friends,

Indiblogger had decided to feature "Original Humour" for their latest contest.

My ArTicKles Blog has been nominated for the IndiBlogger of the Month contest.

Please vote for me!

The nominations are listed here!

Many Thanks for your support as always!

Highness in Goa

2009-07-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

You know you’re in Goa when……
1. You see all shops shut down by 9 pm except liquor outlets which never seem to close at all!
2. The shopkeeper pulls down the shutters even as you are attempting to enter it...especially if it is time for his afternoon lunch and siesta between 1300 hrs and 1600 hrs.
3. Your travel from anyplace to anyplace in Goa is through lush greenery – for a Mumbaikar, all roads appear similar to the Aarey Colony road in Goregaon (East, which is only one of its kind in Mumbai.
4. You find well-maintained benches to sit down at all intersections – and the locals haven’t vandalized them.
5. You find extremely friendly people all around and what’s more you can speak to anyone in Konkani – it is my mother-tongue!
6. You see everyone sporting the Goa-theme T-shirts – there are several on offer everywhere.
7. You will also find youngsters wear T-shirts declaring the Goan attitude:
“Proud to be lazy”, You said it! Who doesn’t know this place is great to relax-
“ susegaad”, as they say here in Goa, which means laidback attitude!
“Conserve water – Drink Beer” Hey why not Feni, guys? Wouldn’t that have been more apt?
“Girlfriends are like medicines – they come with expiry dates” Perhaps they also come with side effects, huh?

We were in Goa for a week, after paying obeisance at our family deity kuladeva at Mangeshi Temple, it was time to relax, unwind, roam around, soak in the nature, gorge on Goan seafood preparations and desserts, that you can only get in plenty here.

While in Goa, I had the opportunity to read the local newspaper Navhind Times. I was really impressed by the number of articles and letters expressing concern about the need to protect the environment and the greens in that tantalizing state, which has been not yet spoilt by polluting industries. When we, urban citizens speak of progress, we often mistake industrialization to be the only real progress. Don’t we want to preserve some places like Goa, Kerala or Himachal in their pristine beauty?

I appreciate the state’s stand not to join the SEZ bandwagon and preference to control rapid industrialization. Albeit, a little too late – after approving a handful of SEZs which were de-notified subsequently. Not fair for the promoters, though. You need to know your strengths – Goa’s strength is its natural beauty, culture and tourism – not industry.

Goa celebrated what is called the “Sao-Jao” festival on 24th June. Youngsters wearing colorful bands around their heads made of flowers dashed around in motor-cycles all day to take part in the finale which would mean taking a dip in the river or sea, drink beer, partake a meal of seafood and meat and dance away into the night. It reminded us of the Goa Carnaval, held each year in February (we had the opportunity to witness the carnaval in 1988).

Goans sure know how to have fun!

The local newspapers carried some special features about fighting drug abuse and educating and rehabilitating youngsters on the occasion of the International Day against drug abuse and trafficking observed on the 26th of June every year.
Several youngsters who had overcome their drug habit forever and some who were struggling to do so had related their experiences in these articles. It was only ironic that as I was reading these articles, the news of the death of Michael Jackson was being telecast on the telly.

Goa is known to be a place to have fun! But some youngsters need to have the right idea of fun. Drugs provide a false sense of euphoria and well-being which eventually leads to a painful existence once hooked, as I could gather. I do sincerely hope youngsters in Goa learn to have some clean healthy fun. Like reading my humor blog and, of course, my book which is available here!

For some useful blogs/writeups about Goa read these links.
Edwin Fernandes – The susegad era that was
Goan Culture

Finally, a rare Goan delicacy you must carry back for your friends – Bebinca! I did!

There is plenty to get high on when you are in Goa!
One would almost call you “Your highness”…

A million words!

2009-06-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

With the birth of Astha Arora, India’s population touched the one billion mark on 11th May 2000.
Web 2.0 is the millionth word in the English language according to Global Language Monitor

Newspapers and websites were agog with speculation about which word would be the millionth word that GLM would announce earlier this month. Could it be Jai Ho? Could it be slumdog? Or would it be n00b? The suspense was building each day, as reports about the possible millionth word were being published daily . While many Indians rooted for ‘Jai Ho’ for the coveted millionth word in English, some amongst us said, but Jai Ho are two words, not one! Well some even said “But ‘Jai Ho’ is a song!”. Which, of course it is!

Whether it is two words, a song or whatever - I personally preferred “Jai Ho” to "slumdog"! I had been thinking of posting my views at that time, but somehow couldn’t pull of a meaningful string of thoughts – an important condition for a post on the ArTicKles blog. Not enough whatnonsanz to be specific. (One day it will be the 2 millionth word, i hope)

Now that Web 2.0 has been dropped upon us as the millionth word, we have more to ponder and debate. For instance, what exactly is a word? We never needed to ask that question “what exactly is a child?” when young Astha Arora was born. It took a million words in English before we could ask "what exactly is a word" though! My first reaction upon reading the much-awaited announcement was, “Web Two Point Zero? It’s not a word!”

But if it is the millionth word, as we are told, well, it’s got to be a word! It couldn’t be the millionth word without being a word, certainly! “It is an alpha-numeric term” ,one may say. But then so is n00b – which is “n zero zero b”, a combination of letters and numerics, meaning a newcomer in the online gaming community, incidentally.

While there have been several reports in the press expressing the choice to be genuine and apt, Web 2.0 – its arrival ushering in new experiences for the netizens, the comments and views expressed by various writers seem to indicate otherwise. Some have even raised the question that if terms like “financial tsunami” and “wardrobe malfunction”, (which are in reality two words or if you insist, a phrase), have been included in the count to the millionth word. So can we really say we have the millionth word after all?

Pssst - Btw, I suppose “chemical locha” of Munnabhai fame is included already!

Well if GLM has opened its doors wide to welcome all kinds of words, phrases, songs etc, I would suggest them to include “Pappu cant dance sala”. Well, my reasoning is that it is better a word than a song!

So what happened to Jai Ho and Slumdog?

The 999,997th word was Slumdog, the 999,998th was the Hindi salutation Jai Ho, the 999,999th word was N00b, from the internet meaning a new member of an online gaming community, while the 1,000,001st was “financial tsunami”.

Which brings us to the question what constitutes a word for the GLM?

The Global Language Monitor accepts as a word any coinage that has gained sufficiently wide usage: this includes hybrid words in Chinglish (Chinese English), Hinglish (Hindi English), Spanglish (Spanish English), Hollywords (terms created by the film industry), including slang, word-marriages with other languages and the thousands of new terms spawned by the internet. computer jargon and words forged by the internet. The word does not have to be in any dictionary! In fact, the latest Oxford English Dictionary has only about 616,500 word forms.

And just how does GLM decide which word gets entered into their list of words?

Each contender is analysed according to depth (number of citations) and breadth (geographic extent of word usage), as well as the number of times a word has appeared in the global print and electronic media, the Internet, blogs, and social media such as Twitter and YouTube. Words need a minimum of 25,000 citations to qualify.

If you need to know more click here for GLM’s FAQ.
Now we know!
Could this just be a popularity gimmick for GLM and the Technology geeks?

You may also notice how the millionth word has been described by the GLM:
“Web 2.0 - the next generation of web products and services, coming soon to a browser near you”. That sounds more like an ad to me! Perhaps it is. I wonder whether they got the cue from our Regional Transport Office in Mumbai, who sell privileged registration numbers like 1111, 9999, 3000 and of course, 786 to people with moneybags to part with!

It was nice fun, anyway. Considering my love for new words. Jai Ho!

Blogger's Postscript:
Oh, and just in case you haven’t read ( I know you have! ) my article on the subject of new words in English in the TOI on 16th June 09, here’s the link.

At the Blogscars 2009

2009-06-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Long post alert!
(I couldn’t make it short, because I ran out of ideas)

Just as the Oscars night is the much-awaited event looked forward to by the glitterati, the Blogscars, as Indian Home Maker calls it, is its parallel in the blogosphere, looked forward to by the blogeratti. The most phenomenal blogger, Indian Home Maker (IHM) had hosted this event recently in her blog. You may read it here.

Ever since I have been blogging, it has been a delight when fellow-bloggers have pitched in time and again with their encouraging words of praise (which may have led me to come so far as 65+ posts and 15000 hits). Though I personally don’t believe in quantitative targets and do accord greater importance to quality of content, I also do believe that for a small-time, unknown writer like me, reaching out to hundreds or perhaps thousands was a dream. Why else would one write if not to share one’s thoughts or ideas?

"It is with great pleasure that I announce that IHM has given me The Versatile Blogger award! Thank you, IHM! I would fail in my duty (to make it sound like a speech), if I would not mention here that IHM has painfully listed out the bloggers who have received this award along with the reasons – the posts which have got the award their way! The effort you have put in is laudable, IHM! Take a bow! It also gave us an opportunity to read your handpicked blogposts from amongst us."

For me, it has been for this post, “Daughters are forever”.
- A post, which will always remain closest to my heart!

When IHM tagged me to do a post listing five things that changed me when I became a father, I wondered what to write! So when I mentioned this to my daughter, she immediately said, “You have already written about this, haven’t you?” So IHM, I couldn’t think past this post, which is actually about how my life changed with the arrival of my daughter in my life. So I take it as having done it already, and hope that I wouldn't get any punishment for not doing my asignment(homework)!

My regular readers may have noted the rather unusual manner in which I do announce my awards. andThis is when I got the Blog of the day award from Bill Austin.

And this post, when Indyeah gave me this Kreativ Blogger Award

And this is when Krishnan and Sahaja had given me the Proximidade and Butterfly awards. I had even posted a limerick for each of the award recipients that I conferred it to in turn. Read this post here.

The blogging journey has proved to me that there are several talented writers who have been showing their creativity through their designs, thoughts, words and innovative posts. So if they have been awarded by their fellow-bloggers, it has been really a well-deserved recognition of their contribution to the blogosphere. Some call it Blogiverse (blog + universe). Or should I just say Blog-Samaj as Hitchwriter aka Dhirenbhai says in his comments?

Before I get to the awarding ceremony, let me share with you the several new words that are either being used or have the potential to be used extensively with the advent of blogs. The word blog, as you know is already a crafty shortened version of the words web log. I stumbled upon several such words derived from the word blog, chiefly combination words. The ones that immediately caught my attention are listed below:

Blogaholic – someone who’s life subsists on online blogs

Blogarrhea - An ailment afflicting bloggers. Excessive and frequent evacuation of blog postings, runny ones with little substance, usually indicating emotional distress or disorder.

Blogorrhea - A blog characterized by excessive commenting on irrelevant facts. We say that the blogger suffers from uncontrollable verbal discharge or blogorrhea.

Bloggebrity – n. A person who has become famous through blogging.

Blogworthy – When something happens in your life that is worth mentioning in your blog

Blogalization - Increase in global communication and awareness through the activities of Internet blogging. A coinage, not yet very popular term in English but well spread in French and German

Blogarazzi - Plural noun: bloggers who flock to a news story or event the way paparazzi flock to celebrities.

Bloganova –A variation of "Casanova", referring to a man who is amorously attentive to women, by means of a blog - A Casanova operating through blogs!

Blogathon - A competition between two friends on myspace. The two, three, twelve or more friends each write a blog and compeat to see who gets the most blog views, comments and kudos. The person with the most views, comments, kudos etc. wins the blogathon, thus having the best blog. People who participate in blogathons are usually sad, middle-aged men who live with their mothers and teenage girls trying to prove their popularity.

Bloggerazzi – An individual that waits for authors of popular blogs to post new enteries so that they can be the first to leave a comment.

Bloggerssistic - When someone has a blog that they won't stop talking about.
A: "Have you read my blog yet?"
"You should read my blog."
"Well, if you read my blog, you would already know that."
"I am SO posting this picture on my blog."
B: "Shut up! You are so bloggerssisstic."

Blogiot - Somebody who comes off as an idiot in their blog.

Blogistan - The Blogiverse. The collective term for all webloggers, or "bloggers." (Dhiren – I still love your Blog-Samaj)

Blogiversary - The yearly anniversary of someones web-log (blog)

Blogiarism - Blatant theft of blog contents and/or entries, to be added to any other blog, site or publication without notating the origin or author and without their expressed consent.

Blogopreneur - One who generates income via advertising on their blog

Blogstipation – Inability to think what to blog about!

When I tried to coin some new words based on 'blog', I google-searched the web to see if they were already existing, that is when I found so many of them listed in the Urban Dictionary website . You may scroll down the list on the left hand side to explore many more.

I would like to give this award to the following well-deserved bloggers:

Vinod Sharma – for successfully posting humorous political posts besides his usually brilliant commentaries on the state of politics and the nation, which lend the topic an expanse of oceanic dimensions.

Sakhi – for being able to find a wide variety of subjects for her short stories. One could almost play a game about which subject she would take up next and lose it altogether! I would have missed out on her photography blog if I hadn’t been following her on Twitter!

Nita – for her untiring energy to delve into facts and figures, views and counterviews, practices and observations to cover subjects that our minds had somehow never thought of visiting.

Sahaja – for picking up her camera and letting us see the world through her eyes, besides continuing her everlasting smiles posts about her experiences in her blog.

Mavin – for sharing his thoughts about India and the challenges of personal finances that we face each day, but do not spend enough time to study analytically,

Priyank – for enjoying what he does and posting those breathtaking pictures which capture nature and its freshness – they arrive fresh on your blogspots, Priyank. Makes me wonder - is it Pure Oxygen or Ozone, that you load it with?

IHM – for bringing up subjects, which some of us would rather not want to think about. And deal with them with the sensitivity and truthfulness that make us want to agree, to change the world and get up and act!

Indyeah – for coming up bolder than ever with her opinion. For rooting for it and for letting us know her passion to be teaching little ones and what it means to her.

Usha Pisharody – for her insightful posts and for being a committed teacher too!

Krishnan – for finding some thoughtful gems of tidbits and trivia – especially about literature and books and for sharing all that he finds interesting on his blog.

Manju – for finding inspiring treasures in the heap of news, controversies, gossip and a trillion trivia.

Swaps - for being where he should be ready with his camera and finding some sights that we may have spent a lifetime to find and still may not have, and then sharing it for us all with some clever words or poetry to go down with.

Now, for some of my new finds you too get this award and also I am blogrolling you guys!

Hitchwriter – Dhiren – for being very humorous in his posts about his experiences. It gives me great pleasure to find more bloggers taking to humor, when subjects of intense debate and opinions generally command popularity and get the eyeballs.

Vishesh – for taking up the contest route and for choosing humor as the subject. You’re sure to enjoy this, just as all your readers are too!

Winnie the Poohi - for being innovative in the way you have conducted the interviews of fellow-bloggers. I had come across such a blog “Being-a-blogger”, which had interviewed hugely popular bloggers, but found it was defunct by the time I had discovered it!

To all those who have been commenting on my blog, my sincere thanks! To all fellow bloggers, I may not have posted comments on all your posts, but do be assured that I do make it a point to find time and have been coming over to reading them and enjoying them!

For someone who just wanted to post his write-ups on the net, I have come a long way! It is so nice to feel like we are one big blogging family here. Can't think of a new word for this great feeling, though. Thank you, all!

Dealing with a Four letter F-word

2009-05-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

It is high time we dealt with this four letter F-word! Well, I am not referring to the one that is being commonly used to express surprise, shock, anger, awe or all of it at the same time. I am talking about the other 4-letter F-word, which is about the emotion that we all have experienced sometime or the other, Fear!

In early childhood, one may have observed that a young one is usually free from fear. You may be perched at the edge of a high fence or wall, or you may be about to touch the hot tea kettle - you aren’t scared! But could we call it bravery? Certainly not! Being unaware of the dangers can be damaging. So at this very early stage in life, that parents and well-wishers rush in to make the child aware of the impending dangers and be wary of them to protect the tender young one.

Again as a child, does one fear other people? Certainly not! A child normally trusts that the world is full of just the angels they wanted to meet – except, of course, when someone is aggressive. But don’t we want our kids to learn that certain things are, strictly, no-no? “Don’t touch that crystal – it cost us a fortune!”, you yell at the child, for you know how many day’s wages it cost you to buy it and you don’t want him to drop it and break such a lovely possession. It wouldn’t be long before the little imp learns to cope with high decibel levels and continues to do just what he wanted to – pick up that crystal - and throw it!

So your effort to control the child’s behavior has just failed and the child has just learnt how to overcome the “fear” of a yelling adult? Time to look for a better and more effective method, you tell yourself. How about spanking? Or punishing the child, maybe? You are at your wits’ end, nevertheless. You are yet to discover the really effective means to discipline your child, when it is time for the child to go to play-school. Now you have other folks, such as teachers or school administrators, who would be willing to share the responsibility of “formatting” your child to the worldly ways.

But are we as adults at our wits’ end, when it comes to meting out punishments to little ones? Instances of beating up children, making them stand in the hot sun, with bricks on their shoulder, for one. And several such instances.

Is it not time that parents, teachers, educationist and child psychologists got together and listed out punishments that are OK and those that are not?

This is not to deny that efforts are being made to address this issue.

Teachers who are indulging in such incidents are also being dealt with firmly of late.

Do schools have guidelines about how teachers could punish students or how they ought not to? If not, it is high time they did! I feel like conducting a survey on the schools around and find out if they had such dos and donts about the methods of punishment to erring students! In these days of awareness, when the Government has introduced ads on visual media to deal with domestic violence (Knock the door campaign), is it not time to also discourage violence meted out to children in schools?

Once out of school, it is time to join college, perceived to be a fun place, where teachers don’t rap on knuckles or fling dusters anymore. One is not so sure whether the child’s “formatting” was complete or not, but you sure did pass the exams and stuff. So off you go to college – to have fun! But one wonders what one’s idea of fun really is? If it is cracking jokes in the canteen in that occasional time off accruing out of an unwell professor or slipping away to a multiplex near your college once in a while, that may be quite what one expected. But “fun” could mean different things to different people – especially your seniors!

Their idea of fun could be ragging younger newcomers - and that could spell trouble for you! I am not sure how rampant is this practice of ragging, but some extreme cases of violence that get reported by the media, give us an impression that students are certainly crossing borders when it comes to the scale of brutality and cruelty involved in the cases reported. Some college students, however do reveal about some mild forms, like making them dance for a song or some such trivial fun session – certainly not the kind which turns “real fun” into its ugly anagram - “funeral”.

Such gory incidents have been reported recently, notably, that of young Aman Kachhroo. But, after reading the reports about these incidents, one begins to believe that these cases are not just incidents of ragging, but something beyond that – perhaps, persistent bullying. These criminal acts of assault on innocent juniors would certainly be dealt with by the police suitably, I have no doubt about that, but what are we doing to avoid these incidents from happening?

Aman’s father, Rajendra Kachhroo, has begun the “Aman Movement” and several steps have been taken since the spate of events have occurred recently. The President Smt, Pratibha Patil has also written to the Governors of all states as reported here.

Also, a recent news item talks about UGC’s plans to have a toll-free national level call centre as a “Ragging Helpline” being set up to help those in distress on account of this growing menace.

It is with this background that one realizes that the child had not been taught in school, about how to deal with bullies! How come a handful of bullies terrorize so many younger students and harass them endlessly in the college campus? Hey, but weren’t we busy teaching the child to fear all along? Shouldn’t we spare a thought about how the child would cope with bullies in college campuses and prepare them to face such situations?

Isn’t it time to introduce courses and discussion forums to embolden the child, so that one gathers courage to speak up against the scourge of bullying and deal with this menace more effectively? Personally, I think it is very important to address this issue – perhaps as important as sex education in schools, the importance of which is being stressed upon by one and all.

The world is yet to learn to cope with terrorists, extremists, tyrants, scamsters, criminals, dadagiri, and what-have-you – all bullies of a kind! Special trainers, who inspire victims of this form of abuse to collectively confront such bullies. Experts are needed, who may equip youngsters to deal with toughies and help set up a forum in every educational institute to counsel the offending brute. Indeed, the need of the hour!

Bloggers’ Postscript: I had been wanting to write about this for a long time. I had been posting my rare serious posts elsewhere, especially in Tickled by Life website. So after I uploaded this article on that website, I felt the only way to reach out to all my regular readers would be by posting this article in full here! Friends, this is just tickling of another kind, as I have learnt!

Zoopremely Zooperb idea!

2009-05-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

We find creativity in every walk of life, but don’t happen to notice it. Perhaps because we think that creativity necessarily means creating some thing new. There is no denying that creativity can take several forms. Certain activities do involve a high degree of creativity, such as writing a short story or a poem, composing a new song, painting a landscape or a portrait or just about some abstract expression.

Advertising has been vastly banking on creative ideas – they always need to have some new ideas to attract eyeballs – “attention-getting value”, as they say. Take the example of zoozoos of the Vodafone series of ads that have been a rage on our television screens recently. Everyone thought the ads used the animation technique and that models had nothing to do with them. We learnt how wrong we were when Mumbai Mirror published a couple of articles on how these ads were created! Read all about it here!

Please click on the images to enlarge

You may have certainly seen these ads which have become popular on the TV and are also available on YouTube

Though the field of advertising has always been a profession which valued creativity and thrived on new ideas, one finds refreshingly new concepts take shape in every field – be it the performing arts, literature, photography, music, as is popularly believed.

It cannot be denied that some professions offer better opportunities to showcase your creativity, though in reality, whatever your passion, interest or profession, you could always be creative and look for some new ideas or some better ways to do the same old things. If we look around there is a lot of creativity around us.

We all need to think out of the box. Except, of course, Dr. Vijay Mallya, who needs to think out of the bottle.

Experts' Predictament

2009-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future”, said Niels Bohr, aptly.

For this predicament faced by experts, in making a prediction, I have coined a new word, “Predictament”.
hurrah – I just coined a new word!
That's how much I love neologism!)

However it doesn’t deter experts from sticking their neck out to indulge in crystal-gazing of sorts and make those prophesies, that forecast the course of future events or results. We have just seen the psephologists take centre-stage during the electoral process that just got underway. Equipped with a great deal of information in their chosen field of study, they boast of possessing various techniques to predict the outcomes of the polls. The season offers them ample airtime to showcase their skills and put forth their own “verdict” – not before putting forth several possible scenarios and the most likely outcome and their reasons for their choice.

Well, this is generally the time, I am itching for those zoozoos to come up and provide the much needed comic relief. Anyway, finally all that matters was the real results, which came to us live all of yesterday – we finally have a car without the “Left-Hand Drive” sign tagged to its rear! The shear thought of handing over the brakes to one party, the accelerator to another, the steering wheel to yet another gives the citizen enough fright to ride such a vehicle. We are glad that such not being the case, all that is needed is to have some wheel-alignment check done before continuing on our journey of reform and progress.

Though experts in every field are entrusted the task of envisaging what lies ahead, it is the stock market experts that have drawn my attention and held me in a vice-like grip for several years now. Be it the Annual Budget, the monetary policy, the foreign trade policy or the election results – how will the markets react to the various possible scenarios is something that this bunch of enlightened professionals embark upon before each such event.

Predicting the course of the stock-markets, indeed is like handing over a car fitted with a windshield mirror instead of a glass and asking a Formula One champ to drive it based on how the road wound and swerved behind him! The poor fella’s got to figure how the road will turn in front – there is no way he can peep into the road ahead and neither is anyone driving back in the opposite direction to ask him for some tips. At least not until the time machine becomes a reality.

So I like these smart chaps coming one after the other and tell us, “If the Sensex crosses 13000, it will see 14500 and if it slides below 11500, it will see 10250”

“I don’t know why people are not buying into the markets – the fundamentals are really strong!”

“I don’t see buying coming until the bottom has been formed”

Well, the hunt for the elusive bottom at the bourses is something that is every investor’s fancy. “Do you see a bottom?” “Is the bottom in place?”

“If all goes well the bottom is behind us!”

Listening to all this, it appears that anyone of us could be those experts! If you can figure out the bottom by the time the artist is working on the shoulder, I suppose I could handle that!

The recent rise in the stock markets – the run up from Sensex at 8k to 12k before the announcement of the results is a case in point. It reminds me of the comic dialog by the legendary comedian Asit Sen ,who characterized his funnies as a stockily built man swinging his arms as he walked and talked slower than his movements. In one of his movies, he enters the room of the Sethji seeking his permission thus:

“Kyaaaa main andar aaaaaaaa saktaaaaaaa hoooooonnnnnnnn?
Arreeeyyy, main to andar aaaaa bheeeee gayaaaaaaaaaaa...!” (Hindi, for "May i come in? Oh, I have already come in!")
as he stood in the center of the big room in front of the Sethji!

This is how the markets had already climbed up before we knew they were bouncing back. And that indeed is their Predictament!

Often, when we watch the news on any non-eventful day the market has surged a couple of hundred points and my wife asks me “Why did it go up today?”
“Because it had gone down too much, I suppose” I reply.
Let alone predict, I cannot even explain why the markets went up or down after the event. The entire fun is in not knowing, I suppose.

Blogger’s Postscripts:
1. For once, I will be able to tell why the market went up on Monday 18th May 09 – because of the prospect of a stable government at the centre! But will my wife ask?

2. Just when I was typing out this piece and a suitable heading for it, the idea of coining the new word came to me – it was my Ah-ha moment!

My best blogpost

2009-04-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

This post may seem like a small little game for my blog readers and even to the recent visitors to my blog who have not read my older posts.

Below is the list of my favorite humorous blogposts. Please read them and let me know which according to you is the best one?

Many of you may have read all these posts, but if you havent read them, please do so now before you take your pick. If you think there is any other post that i may not have listed here, you are welcome to point out!

Newcomers are requested to read these posts before making your choice!

This list is in chronological order - beginning with the earliest ones first!

1. Mobile Supermaniac

2. Daughters are forever

3. Determined Diggers Unite

4. Right in the Middle

5. My Password Phobia

6. Biometric Allergy - Mark my presence

7. Human Beans

8. Animal Qualms

9. A Tickle after a Tipple

10. Pot(hole)s of Money

11. The Baap Trap

12. A Rotimaker for the Kitchen

13. Palin Talk

14. Tagged on Feminism

15. The Satyam about monkey attacks

16 A bit of this and that

17.Gadbad, I scream

18. Breaking News all around

19. Bhaagore.com

20. My thinking shoes

So now that you have read my funniest posts, do let me know the best post - the one that you liked most.

Eagerly awaiting your comments.

Getting Board?

2009-04-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

When my wife's cousin, Ashwin came down from Bangalore for a brief stay recently, I found some really funny signboards and stuff that he had clicked while on the move.

So when I requested him to share it with me for posting on my blog, he was kind enough to agree.

"Mere Paas Maa hai"

Certainly couldn't be for sale with biscuits and snacks? This Maa turned out to be some Mango juice, Maaza or its distant cousin...thankfully!

"If US offers HotDogs, we offer Veg Pups"

Before Maneka Gandhi and the animal activists descend on the scene, let me clarify that inquiries revealed that they were offering Veg Puffs and Egg Puffs!

Now here are some chatpata "Name-keens", as Ashwin calls them

"Baap Ka Maal" it says. Attitude indeed!

"Pocket Faad ke" Do they mean our wallet? Perhaps!

That's "do aur do paanch" - Adds up to more!

Funny Restaurant Board

Can you figure this out? You get the restaurant along with ...?

Funny Zoo Sign

Funny Dog Sign

What we can call a Sureshot Message Sign

Looking for directions? Check out this Funny Roadsign

Do you find yourselves at such junctures at times?

You have been warned!

Apparently some were found on the information superhighway! Thanks for the pics, Ashwin!

Our Furrst Budday!

2009-04-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

On 10th April 2009, The ArTicKles Blog completes one year!

It's our Fursst Budday! Let us celebrate!
Get the Balloons, the solitary candle and the Cake....

Thanks to all the blog readers, fellow bloggers, commenters - to each and every one of you, without whom we wouldnt have been able to make this journey together!

- The Editorial Team (consisting of my mouse, keyboard, right index finger)
- The Production Team (consisting of my laptop, my sofa, my internet connection, google.com, blogger.com, hotmail.com)
- The Creative Team (my shoes, the pot-holed roads, the politicians, the newsreaders and just about anyone who gives me an idea)

My Thinking Shoes!

2009-04-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

If you have been a regular reader of this blog, you would know that most of my blog posts have been a result of ideas that come to me when I am on my brisk morning walk. Most people put on their thinking hats, whenever they need to.

Well, I put on my thinking shoes. An old pair of Reebok Sports shoes, which I got free with my Orange SIM Card, and still going strong.

Of late, I observe that my shoes are not functioning properly. No, it is not that I cannot walk properly or that the shoes are tearing. The pair has really lasted quite a long time. “Orange” has become “Hutch” and “Hutch” has become “Vodafone”, but these faithful shoes have been serving me all along. The trouble is that I am not getting any good ideas during my long brisk walks these days.

During one of my walks, I was just wondering how this amazing accessory, meant to cover my bare feet, could give me such wonderful ideas? Positioned at the other extreme in relation to my skull (my cranial box), this pair, which cannot be called downtrodden, helps me think “out of the box”. The cranial box, that is.

I have never ever treated my pair of shoes as “just a pair of shoes”. Never! In fact, whenever the shoelaces come off on their own during my morning walks, I have patiently tied them back lovingly, without getting upset, without a whimper. Though a thought of requesting my researcher-friend to do some work to figure out how these shoes manage to untie the laces on their own did cross my mind at times. But then since I got this idea while on my walk, I can proudly attribute it to this faithful pair trudging along with me.

If you thought this awesome footwear only protected my feet from the heat, stones and dust on the road, you’re wrong! So why then have my shoes stopped helping me come up with some good ideas for the next blog post? I wondered.

Today morning, when my shoelaces came off on their own, I bent down and while I tied them back, had a small little chat with my shoes.

“Wassup, guys? Why so glum?”, I began the conversation.
“Who are we and who really cares?”, they replied as though they knew this question was coming up.
“Hey, I have always treated you with great respect!”
“But nobody know us. Look at some of the other shoes - they are appearing on Prime Time TV”
“For all the wrong reasons, aren’t they?”

“Wrong reasons? They have been more effective than all the editorial columns and the combined fury of the opinion columnists put together! They have been the most effective instruments of getting the world’s attention to issues that get brushed aside inspite of the hundreds of write-ups and zillions of blog posts arguing this way and the other”

“You’re right, 'effective' they certainly have been – but then, you should be proud that finally your ilk have braved against all odds from the lowly position you held in society – near the feet, that is - you have been flung ..er.. sorry, raised to greater heights! You now rub shoulders with Cabinet Ministers. You are going places and leaving a footprint all over the world. People are left wondering Shoe's next?”

“Of course, we are proud of them, celebrity shoes! But what about us? We have been silently contributing to your blog and making several thousands…er ..or is it just dozens?... laugh. But we don’t get the slightest credit for it, not even a mention in your blog!”

“But you have never sulked in this way before, now who gave you this stupid idea?”

“Well, when we were kept in the shoe-rack of the Ganapati temple yesterday whilst you were praying to the Almighty, all the other shoes and chappals were talking about their prospects at being hurled at somebody or the other. Their folks hate someone or the other and keep talking about wanting to settle scores one politician or the other on an opportune day. When they asked us about our prospects - oh, how we had to confide our pitiable state because you don’t ever hate any politician or get mad at any public figure. In fact we told them you avoid them like the plague - that at best you would take potshots at them on his blog - our chances to worldwide popularity is really bleak to say the least”

“If popularity is all you are seeking, I promise you I will write about you in my next post, now cheer up!”, I concluded.

Hopefully, my shoes will be happy with this post and continue to support this blog as always!

Blogger’s Postscript: Read my First post on the ArTicKles Blog here and take this quiz.
Quiz: What must we do on 10th April 2009?

The mystery of the scary metallic sound

2009-04-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

The Mystery of the Scary Metallic Sound

By Supriya Mavinkurve

Finally, we boarded the Udyan Express at Mumbai to attend a wedding ceremony in Bangalore. A quick survey of the co-passenger revealed that my journey would be peaceful, without the usual chaos caused by crying children or wailing infants through the night, as we did not catch sight of any kid around. None of the adults were chattering away excitedly, as one normally expects in a long-distance train journey. The train rattled away on its tracks, swaying merrily as it customarily does.

The lights went off, one after the other, and soon it was dark enough to sleep. It was a tiring day for me – waking up early to pack-up; trying to complete my college assignments at hand; sending those last minute emails; posting Orkut messages and of course, leaving well in time to reach the railway station. We had had an early dinner as the train leaves at 8 pm in the evening. My weary eyes closed, but my ears continued to listen to the rattling sound of the train. I tossed and turned, but my ears would not allow me to sleep peacefully.

Then, I heard this strange sound – of some electric saw drilling through solid metal! Was someone cutting open the window to get in? I looked out of the window. Nothing unusual, only darkness and some stray light reflecting on the dark silhouettes of trees, whizzing past. My ears may be playing a trick on me, I thought. I tried to catch up on my much-needed forty winks, but it was, this mysterious sound again, louder and sharper, this time around. Was there someone on the roof trying to cut it apart and get in? Was a terrorist at work here? Or a dacoit? We had not heard of dacoits in this region, but who knows, I wondered. Or was it just a technician trying to fix something in the toilet, which was only a couple of berths away?

Every one else seemed to have logged off for the day. Was it worth waking up someone, maybe my Mom? I couldn’t possibly go off to sleep, when there could be an attack any moment, could I? I peered into the darkness and waited to see if the ‘electric-saw-cutting-into-metal’ sound would be heard again. After all, it could just have been a figment of my imagination! Then it came again - louder and shriller, cutting deeper, from across the opposite berth. Was this large sized guy sleeping across me up to some mischief, pretending to sleep? I picked up my air-filled pillow up as a shield and shook my hands violently, as though staving off an offender. The offender took no notice of the waved pillow and the sound became shriller, reached the crescendo, and then punctured off like a gush of air escaping from a deflated tire.

Oh, he had just been snoring!!!

Blogger's Post-Script: Encouraged by the response to her first contribution to my blog, Supriya has written another one which i am sharing with you all. Thanks, Supriya!

The Only Choice

2009-03-18T02:55:00.000-07:00

It wouldn’t be surprising if one considered us to be the living dead for not taking steps to enroll oneself, so that we can exercise our voting right. The jaagore campaign and the new “Shut Up and Vote” song may be just the right tune to spur the Indian youth into action this time around. After all, that is our only choice to bring about the desired change in this organized mess, which incidentally is also the largest democracy in the world.
It is another matter that we have several parties deploying paid volunteers for party work. With elections coming up, one always witnesses allegations and counter-allegations, mud-slinging, muck-raking at all time highs. In short, the state of controlled chaos gets worse, and things get pretty ugly during election times.

It is also that time of the year when news channels beam our political leaders deliver high-pitch speeches aimed to hit opponents below the belt, figuratively speaking. Election analysts, or (Psephologists, as they are called), would have a field day providing the low-down on high-scoring candidates. You may think this is old news, but the heated discussions and debates on national channels will get shriller and shriller until you begin to love the sound of silence. I gather the election commissioner has debarred channels from airing exit polls, as they could influence the decision of voters, especially considering that the polls are scheduled in four phases across the length and breadth of our country.

These “experts” had been conducting such exit polls during past elections and portraying their findings as representing exact estimates of the results, ignoring the constant variable feature of such a narrow exercise based on insufficient sample size and unreliable responses from voters, who may act naturally, but mislead one and all. There being no obligation on the part of the surveyed individual to indicate truthfully the candidate of his choice. This uncertainty and unreliability of such an exercise has been the constant variable in such exercises, which have been purposefully ignored by the clever fools peddling poll-time excitement for viewers, with an eye on TRP, of course.

With our neighbouring countries are on the brink of a civil war, we may not need the thrill of a reality shows if action on this front hots up. I could go on pointlessly this way… but what am I getting at? Why am I writing about election time when that is not my forte?

Well, this post is about Oxymorons!

Oxymoron is not a moron put on oxygen,
Oxymoron is when contradicting words combine to form a meaningful phrase or term

For example,
1. Virtual reality
2. Original copy
3. Jumbo shrimp
4. Bitter sweet
5. Plastic glasses
6. Wooden iron
7. Same difference

I could have simply listed all these oxymorons, but it is an open secret that I hate lists! I am terribly pleased to inform you that I have written articles demonstrating the use of color phrases in the same way. I love to demonstrate usage by constructing sentences which actually make sense!

Whatnonsanz making sense? Moronic or Oxymoronic?
If honest lawyer is listed as an oxymoron, now then does clean politics deserve a mention too?

More Oxymorons listed here

And here.

Blogger’s Post-Script: I hope ke aapko mera post thoda bahut pasand aaya ho. My favourite Hindi oxymoron is “thoda bahut”!

A couple of tags

2009-03-16T03:40:00.000-07:00

My friends in blogosphere have been tagging me, off and on. While I may not have been doing justice to all these tags, I am sure they will pardon me for not posting my tags on time (and sometimes not at all).

What is Tagging?
For the uninitiated, this blogging phenomenon called “tagging” is like an assignment your child’s school has assigned to your child and the whole family gets down to do! The similarity ends there – in this case I’ve got to do it all by myself and it is assigned by a fellow blogger to you and it is often fun to read and post a tag! So, as you see, there are more dissimilarities than similarities - but an assignment it is, all the same!

I must also thank all those who expect my tags to give a funny, humorous twist to the subject/assignment. Thank you for knowing my limitations!

Priyank's Pi day Tag
Priyank Thatte, , whom I know to be a backpacker, mountaineer, global travel writer, blogger, warm and nice person has tagged me this time around. For one, I never knew Priyank was a mathematics enthusiast. The first and only time I met him was at a bloggers meet, where amongst hundreds of bloggers assembled there, he was the only blogger whom I could bond with easily. Of course, apart from my old buddy finance wizard, a storyteller, (who staked his claim to write nonsense too); and another widely read, wide-eyed blogger, whom I could bond with immediately.

Priyank wants me to “write a humorous post about people doing weird things”. Since I couldn’t actually figure out what I had to do, I read the post over and over again and finally decided to have my IQ checked. Priyank was right -I never knew he could mathematically guess ……that my IQ would be Pi!

My IQ = 3.14159…..

Had my IQ been less than the value of Pi, I am told, I could have contested the oncoming elections. But such privileges are not for me!

As if we had less number of “days” to celebrate, Priyank came up with the Square Root day on 03.03.09! Read his post here.

And then we are told we need to observe Pi day on 14th March! Read his Pi day Pie post here.

Priyank, thanks for tagging me! I enjoyed doing this one! Now that I have discovered the mathematical incline in you, I guess this is how your clock would look like.

Second Tag from Sahaja
Now coming to my second tag, Sahaja has tagged me - I am required to post the 6th photograph from my 6th Photo Folder So here goes:

Some authorities insisted on the evidence of my claim to be the original inspiration of Mr. Bean. And you thought I have forgotten all about my claim to be the original inspiration of Mr. Bean! You will understand, if you read this post!

My earlier tag on Feminism
For those of you who have not read my post “Tagged on Feminism”, I request you to read it now!

My aunt writes for tickledbylife website!

2009-03-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Shanta Madiman is my wonderful aunt, who had been so regular in writing letters to us ever since I was in school. Always looking for a reason to appreciate every small success of ours as we grew up, Shanti Mami's (as I called her) letter would arrive with loads of praise, a word of advice, and always a thought or two about our well-being - and whatever she would write, would be straight from her heart! I am sure all my cousins would agree with me how we would eagerly look forward to receiving a letter from her. Even in her old age, she continues to write, inspite of a considerable pain, whenever an occasion demands.

Last week when I visited them, she handed over a hand written article, with a request to improve it and have it published wherever suitable. I found the article interesting and thought-provoking, so I worked on it to tweak it just a little bit here and there and submitted it to the reputed website, Tickled by life.

Do read the article here!,

Blogger's Post-script

I would like to share another very interesting post about Superbrain Yoga, that I came across in Sahasi's Blog, Discover the world, which you may read here.

Vijay Ho!

2009-03-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

When James Otis decided to sell Mahatma Gandhi’s belongings through a global auction in New York, the Indian Government woke up to the fact that Gandhiji’s belongings couldn’t be sold in such a blatantly materialistic manner. After all, we owed it to the father figure of our country, or even to his soul, to prevent such a demeaning act that showed scant respect for our country and our great leaders. Materials matter, values are immaterial these days.

So after pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock numerous time, our government woke up and began their efforts to get back our country’s heritage, by hook or crook. Or by Sant or Vijay, can we say? Without drawing parallels, of course. The wealthy Sant Chatwal offered to bring back the memorabilia to the place it belonged. But the spirited soul, who has never faced liquidity problems, being always well-stocked with the right kind of spirited liquids, entered the race to “serve our country”. Needless to say, like his race horses, he beat Sant to the finishing line.

Finally, when the liquor baron, pulled off this act and bought the articles rightfully belonging to our country, our countrymen gathered at the bar – not the one associated with the law, as Gandhiji would have done in his young age – the one which has served them with the spirited liquid day in and day out, except on dry days, of course – a place, where Gandhiji would never have tread - and truly celebrated Vijay Mallya's success by raising a toast to his success an drinking to his wealthy future.

You can imagine the millions of faithful citizens, who would have done this small drunken jig and exclaimed, “Vijay Ho!” Even those who are faithful to their “country” (as in “country liquor”, as they call the local brew or arrack), but cannot afford the IMFL, would have joined in this small little drunken jig and the "Vijay Ho!" chant, for good measure.

I received an SMS from a friend Ashwin, which goes, “Gandhiji hated liquor and did his bit to contain its sales. It is ironic that a liquor baron was instrumental in buying his memorabilia back for India”. Thanks, Ashwin! We have to give it to Vijay Mallya! He deserves each of those drunken jigs and lots of “Vijay Ho!” along with them. Anybody who has eaten the (iodised) salt of this land should be indeed proud of this moment! I love this new trend so much - "Vijay Ho!" scores over the old foreign sounding "Hic Hic Hurray", ever so convincingly!

“We may have brought back his spectacles, but what about his vision for our country?”, someone may ask.

“What about his values, his teachings, the path of non-violence, which he showed us?” asked another.

“How materialistic we have become. He must be turning in his grave” exclaimed another.

“No, he couldn’t. The urn containing his ashes were astonishingly found in Cuttack in 2008, 60 years after his death in 1948, and were immersed in the Triveni Sangam by his great grandson, Tushar Gandhi, albeit after a long drawn struggle with bureaucrats, though”, I wanted to say. But then I realized what he said was only figurative and symbolic. But it must have been a significant blow to the image of the greatest leader India has known in the last century.

But wouldn’t Gandhiji's image be immune to these blows by now? After all, we have been punching it all along for almost half a century. Ever since his image appears on all the currency notes, to begin with. Faith can move mountains. But to move files in the government, you need to have faith in our currency notes and the power they wield in getting these things happen. The debauchery involved around the currency note has dealt the first blow to Mahatma Gandhi's image, several years ago.

We have immortalized Gandhiji by naming every important street leading to the railway stations in every suburb, town of our country after him! That was another blow! Considering the several nefarious activities that go on in those streets - bootlegging, gambling, soliciting, you name it – it’s happening out there on MG Road anywhere! One needs to look through his eyes, not his spectacles to look for those values that he tried to sow in our countrymen. Today bootleggers claim to be "serving our country"!

So would the image of our greatest leader, Mahatma Gandhi, even feel the slightest jolt, due to this materialistic incline, this act of selling his material possessions, one wonders?

Vijay Ho!

Bloggers’ PostScript:
Though one may not be able to do much about our values or those of our fellow countrymen nor the value of our currency, one could design the symbol of the Indian Rupee! If your symbol is selected, you could be as famous as Vijay Mallya or Sant Chatwal overnight!

Read all about it here!

And more here!

Vote for me at Dubbagol!

My first ArTicKles Book!

2009-02-28T09:23:00.001-08:00

The announcement
To begin with, I would like to make an announcement :-
“Hey, my first book, a compilation of my “ArTicKles”, is available on the net!”

How did I get this outrageous idea?
Some of my friends seem to be weirder than me! They believed, sooner or later, I could have a compilation of my ArTicKles published as a book! “It could be a nice book to read on a flight, if you could publish a compilation”, said one, when I handed him some printouts of my blog posts on a business trip on a flight back from a meeting with customers. I could tickle people even when the net was inaccessible!

Then there was my aged uncle, who asked his son (my cousin) to get printouts home for him, as reading from the PC monitor was not a workable option for his aging self. Maybe some others, who did not have access to the internet but did read newspapers, magazines and books could be tickled by my compilation of books!

Well, but why did I publish a collection of my ArTicKles on the net?
Simple! For one, I thought people would like to buy it!
How stupid can one get?

Well, I am only looking to reach out to newer recipients of my ’Tickles through this book.

But who would publish my book?
To find out how some others, who were writing for MSN Contribute, an amateur writers forum, had managed to successfully publish their own work in books, I got in touch with them by email. From their response, it was evident that publishers had their own yardstick to measure up your work – Would the subject appeal to readers? Would they buy this book? Would they make money? Does their marketing department think this book will sell?

It was evident from their response that it would be quite an ordeal. I would have to go from pillar to post to find a publisher for my book - only to collect rejection slips or perhaps embarrassing silence as a reply.

About Self-Publishing
When I met the founder of Wordsmith.org, Anu Garg, who has already published some books already, I had an opportunity to get deeper insights into aspects of publishing – about latest trends, about newer possibilities opening up!

For one, Anu explained the concept of self-publishing. He recommended me to visit Lulu.com, which is a popular website, which has popularized this concept lately. So I found the publisher of my book – myself! The idea appealed to me immensely, however I wondered whether an Indian firm could offer me this concept right here in India? I am so very thankful to Anu Garg for the insights he shared with me!

A quick google search “self publishing website India” threw up just the site I was looking out for:
Pothi.com!

About Print on demand and Pothi.com
If there is anything that appealed to me about Pothi.com, it was the simple way in which all my doubts were answered so lucidly through their features and if there still was a nagging doubt left, their FAQ, cost calculator, ISBN, services for writers... everything a writer needing to publish a book would need to know.

One other doubt that had been bothering me was the minimum order size. Surely, I would have to order some minimum quantity of books, wouldn’t I? Would it be 300…or 100? Would they agree for an order size of 12? That is when I was pleased to learn that with Print on Demand technology, one can even buy ONE BOOK at a time! No unnecessarily printed copies lying around. Though offset printing does cost lower per copy, the cost of unsold copies could very well prove to be costlier, unless of course you are a best seller author right away.

About my First ArTicKles book
Select artickles have been chosen from my blog posts and some further editing and improvements have been made, wherever possible, in this book. This book is for light reading for those of your family members, friends, senior citizens – just about anyone, who may have limited or have no access to internet and my blog, but enjoy reading all the same. This book will prove to be a good gift for them, with whom you have not been able to share my blog posts from time to time.
[If they have been escaping my tickles – here they come!]

If the idea appeals to you,
do buy it at Pothi.com here!

About this long post
Finally, why did I share all this with you in so much detail? Wasn’t a short post announcing my book enough? Is this a case of “over-share” with my readers? Well, I have dwelt it in greater details, because, each one of you may have your own poems, short stories, articles, analytical write-ups, novellas to share with a larger audience, to reach out to a wider circle of readers. Maybe this post could show you the way to get there!
I can see several talented writers around who would soon publish their own work, in some way or the other and perhaps become best-selling authors, even before I take my next small step!

Next step? Would you write another?
Of course! Why else would I call it the First ArTicKles Book here in this post?

Bhaagore.com - Bhaago Re!

2009-02-21T01:57:00.000-08:00

The jaagore campaign to awaken the teeming millions out of their deep slumber and urge them to participate in the ensuing elections, has stirred many, who would have turned 18 on 1.1.2009 has been successful indeed.
Even those who have relocated to some other place in India and have not formally registered in the new place have woken up! Now this is one cup of chaai every Indian must sip!
After all, that is your only democratic right, which you enjoy as a citizen of India, the largest democracy on earth.

It was my bounden duty to get my daughter enrolled in the electoral rolls upon entering the last of her teens. The www.jaagore.com website enlightened me about the various forms that need to be filled and where they can be submitted.
But then fortunately for me, the regional office of our electoral authorities is a 10minute walk from my residence. So a month ago, I trudged the path and asked them for a form and they immediately handed me a couple of forms and explained me how to fill it up!
The only catch however was that they would announce the dates for accepting new registrants forms shortly, I was told.

In the meanwhile, a civic official who was going door-to-door distributing forms to the already registered voters, called up at our place.
“I already have a Voter-ID card and do get to vote so what exactly are these forms?” I asked.
“These are for updating our records and your photo is not there on the list” he showed me a printout of the electoral rolls.
“Cant I vote if I don’t fill in this form? I have a valid voters’ ID?” I asked him.

“You can vote with your old Voter-ID, but you can never say when rules can change, so it is better to fill this form and attach an attested copy of a Photo-identity like Passport copy, Pan Card, etc and complete our formality while the program is on”, he said.
I couldnt figure out exactly what it was all about but apparently they wanted us to comply with some formalities.

Today, I had the good fortune of finding the said officers, in fact 3 of them, who appeared in the school which usually is our voting centre, all willing to accept both new registrations and these newly distributed forms!
There was a huge crowd in front of the 3 officers and some people who were apparently waiting in a queue.

In the queue as I waited, a rather elderly Parsi gentleman asked me whether this was the queue for submitting the form. I just told him I hoped so too, but wasn’t sure.
Then he asked me “Why we are required to fill this form again, since we already had voter ID cards with our photo on it?” I shrugged my shoulders.
“They must have misplaced our records! They only know how to make us run and dance!”, he continued to grumble, “This is the Bhaagore program of the Government!.........”.

"Yes sir! They are trying to prove Charles Darwins theory propogating that it would eventually be the 'Survival of the Fittest' right all over again" I agreed, as I helped the aged man to sit on a nearby vacant chair.

One couldn’t make out whether there were three separate queues or one? Whether my form could be submitted by the officer or was I in the wrong queue? Any effort to get to the officer to find out if I was in the right queue met with loud boos. But these same people could not tell me if I was in the right queue! Now I know why a straight line is called a ‘Q’ – it resembles this alphabet more than any other!

Finally my turn came and I was so happy when he accepted our forms!
“What next?” I asked. “You will have to get your photograph taken when we organize it”, he informed!
“But haven’t we submitted our photograph?” I asked. “No not this photo, we will need to photograph you with our special camera for the new card we are planning to issue”, he informed.

Back home, I checked my emails and found a mail from my old friend, Freddie, from college, a physics scholar who is with a premier research institute in the UK in my inbox. Now just to give you a background about this old friend of mine, having migrated to the UK, used to write me postcards (when the email had not yet evolved) from “Great Britain” (UK was apparently not so effective). Not the one to take things lying down, of course, I used to reply him back from “Greater Bombay”.

“So what research are you doing these days”, I had asked him in my last email, to which he informed “We are working on a camera which can give you the image of your predecessors thousands of years ago! In just a few weeks, we should be able to even tell the exact species of monkey from which you have evolved with this camera.
It will be a fitting tribute to the evolution theory of Charles Darwin”

“Why is your UK government wasting so much money to do that, Freddie? Our Indian government has several of those cameras in operation for the last decade or so and they use them - to make Voter IDs for all our citizens!” I asked him.

Blogger’s Post-Script:My blog is shortlisted by Mumbai-bloggers.net for the award for the best blogger prize.
Do vote for me!
You dont have to be a Mumbaiite to vote - anyone from anywhere can vote for 5 blogs out of the listed 59 blogs.

The latest announcement – This page tells you how you can vote
The complete list of registered entries is here

Finally, let me blow my own trumpet - My counter-hits have crossed the 10000-mark!

Declaring bankruptcy and Introducing a new author!

2009-02-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

You may have read about several companies having filed for bankruptcy recently.
These guys are short of cash.

I am filing for bankruptcy too.....of ideas, though!

How come? Why, dear friend? Come on you can write about so many subjects...pink chaddis, Valentine's day celebrations, moral policing, Laloo's wisecracks in Parliament while announcing the Union railway budget....

Frankly, i did make an attempt. But ever since my last post where I whispered this about the editor of my blog :
(Pssst: Frankly, I would have posted another 100 posts by now, but for this bully Ed-in-Ch! I am seeking to be free from this tyrant someday! Need some serious reforms in the blogging space too!)

All my written pieces have been summarily rejected without assigning any reasons, as is customary for all editors to do.

Psst...Honestly, all that has remained unpublished because of this a$$-h0!E is not really worth a glance, let alone a read. Sigh! I have run out of ideas!

Just then I got a brilliant idea - in a drought even a drop of water seems like a river! Why not invite someone to write a guest post?

If any of my readers would like to contribute a funny one for my blog, you are most welcome. Send your funnies by email - which email id? - It's provided in my profile alongside.

To begin with I am posting an article written by my daughter, Supriya and which got published by their college (NM College of Commerce, Vileparle) magazine.
So here goes......

Around the City in just 50 Bucks!
By Supriya Mavinkurve

I know a man who stayed in Bangalore, whose heart’s desire was to visit the city of his dreams, Bombay. He had a long list of things to do here, but not a soul he knew, who would let him stay at his place! “In Bombay, you can get a job, but a place to stay? Never!”, his brothers had told him!

Finally, his determination and the services of the Indian Railways brought him to this fabulous city of his dreams! He managed to find a lodging place in Andheri for a couple of days. It was an old dingy room, which was all he could afford for the sum he could pay for! Bedbugs were, of course, free - part of a package deal.

He then put down his wish list on a piece of paper. He would want to visit the Gateway of India, the Hanging Gardens, the Chowpatty, the Borivali National Park, The Victoria Terminus Station ….

He also wished to enjoy the bhel-puri, paani-puri, chaat, vada pav and ice-golla at the Beach Stalls and also eat at the well known eateries offering a variety of Indian and exotic Chinese food which he had heard so much about and longed to relish.

So he set forth on his journey the next morning by the BEST Bus. He did not expect that even boarding the city bus would be an adventure sport by itself. But God helps them who pursue their dream, he believed. His belief brought him to the Gateway of India, where he enjoyed a boat ride and soaked in the sights of the Rajabhai Tower, the Azad Maidan and the Churchgate Station and had his lunch at an Udipi Restaurant and finally boarded the bus to Chowpatty. By this time the sun was about to set and the evening crowds were trickling in.

He gorged on all the chaat items that he always longed to eat by the waves and sands of Chowpatty as he also relished the sunset by the sea. His dreams were coming true. The local trains were the next on his itinerary. As the train charged in, the city warriors, deft in the sport posed to be a challenge to the Bangalorean! He boarded the already crowded train at andheri, managed to cling on to dear life, was almost pushed out again at Vile Parle. At the end of the ride, he felt as if his body had been massaged as never before – at no extra cost, of course!

The following couple of days, he was able to cover all the places of his desires. He had the princely sum of Rs. 50 when he had come and was now left with only Rs. 5 left in his pocket.

But just how did he manage to do all this in Just Rs. 50? Suspecting him of pulling a fast one on me, I demanded him of the breakup of the costs incurred. “Rs. 30 for the lodging, Rs. 3 for the bus rides, Rs. 3 for the train journeys, Rs. 10 for all the chats ….”

“Was the whole City on some kind of Discount Sale?” I asked.

“No it was Bombay in the year 1961!” said my grandfather!

Bloggers' Post-script: Among some topics listed by her college professors, she selected this one. When I asked her whether it could be a mistake, she said it wasn't and that she would write one on her own!

Well, even the Government of India backtracked on the promise of a US$10 laptop recently and how! The poor guys cant even say it was an old official press release that got entangled in red tape! Bcoz laptops in those days cost more not less!

Dont forget to send in your guest posts!

Breaking News all around

2009-02-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

The words are being flashed on our TV Screens for quite some time now. Just plain “News” wont do – its got to be “Breaking News”. I have always wondered what this phrase is all about? But before we go to the ‘breaking’ part, let me tell you how fascinated I was when back in school, I learnt that ‘NEWS’ itself was actually an acronym for North, East, West and South! It was the print media which would report “Happenings from North, East, West and South”, that gave us this word, NEWS, which we read while we had our breakfast.

Now, the electronic media give us the “Breaking News”. When a dozen news channels vie with each other and their tele-journos run at break-neck speed scramble over each other to reach out to the only guy there who knows it all to catch the sound bytes for the world to listen to, obviously there is going to be some rib-cracking, bone-crushing and elbow-shattering in the process. But what else can these poor television journalists, do if they have to please their bosses and keep their jobs, but to stick out that microphone as close to the “person-in-the-know”? So what if they have to break a rib or two in the process?

“Sir, you have lost your entire family in this tragic event – how do you feel?”
Now what else can someone, whose floating rib has just been twisted at 45 degrees from the natural position, possibly think of? I am talking about the TV reporter! But then so long as the newsreader sitting in cool comforts of the recording studio loves the question what does one care? But then the news-reader wants to prove to be the bigger boss, high up there .... “Are you happy with the steps taken and the support provided by the government, Sir?”
That comes when he has yet to recover from the blow dealt by the tragedy and then the take in the blow dealt by the first question!

If you have just tuned into the channel, you would think it is the efforts of the government that has...actually caused all this... but, somehow, it perhaps is not – or so I would like to believe! Anyway, the big boss, the Managing Editor or any other fancy designation that he/she chooses to give him/herself, has also to worry about the viewers – the number of viewers, I mean! What with the “Do aankhe – barah news channels” situation these days, it is getting very competitive for the TV Media! “Don’t go anywhere”, they proclaim, as there are some deeper, profound, probing questions to be asked, as they go into “a break”. Phew! You sigh as this is the only break that you can really bear!

Political parties have resolved to give this “Breaking News” stuff some real meaning. But How? Simple. By breaking glass-panes; by breaking the sight-screens of cars and buses; by breaking the beautiful glass façade of 5-star hotels….do I have to tell you….breaking just about everything that can be broken, isn’t that sufficient?
They break the law.
They break - nay shatter our faith, our confidence and our trust.
They break the promises they made to get elected, dammit!
They break them all. Collectively they have truly lent a whole new meaning to the phrase “Breaking News”

Can we break free from these political parties who break just about anything on the pretext of protecting our culture? The much-celebrated “freedom” that we Indians have got was from the clutches of the British. When are we going to break free from the clutches of our own politicians? From the self-appointed custodians of morality, culture and values? From our corrupt officials? From … c’mon, you know ’em all – the ones who hold us captive, bound to our traditions, our cultures!

A thousand freedoms await us!

Talking of freedom, we now see a clash of interest amongst two sections of the media – the electronic media (as in the television channels) and the electronic-internet media, the blogosphere! Both are supposedly free and yet some are more free than the others. You pay for the channels you watch but you read our blogs – absolutely free. But this is not the freedom we were talking about, were we? We were talking about freedom of expression. So it happens that by curbing the freedom of one blogger, to express his thoughts, the television media has launched an attack on a blogger’s freedom of expression by forcing the blogger to apologise and withdraw his post! Perhaps it is an attempt to break the resolve of some fearless bloggers who have begun to post a criticism of the manner in which the terror attacks were covered. It was perfectly alright until they were attacking the politicians. Wasn’t explaining the criticisms enough, as was done to the print media who also incidentally said the same thing?

One attack leads to another! Naturally, we see a counter-attack in the blogosphere! A rare display of unity among bloggers who have joined hands in cyberspace to protest against this kind of dadagiri or should we say ‘didigiri’?. A resolve not to yield to the pressures or rather, not to break up so that the TV news channels have another “Breaking News”!

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

Finally I would like to give you all some small bits of “Breaking News”
1. Indyeah has tagged me! This “tagging” phenomenon is unique to the blogosphere. I would love to do it, but I need some time, Indyeah. Thanks for your patience!

2. Priyank Thatte who writes his blog “Final Transit” (though I have suggested him to change it to “Always in Transit”), has awarded this blog with a unique award – A new word coined by him. Thank you very much, Priyank! I am honoured!
Text of his comment has been reproduced below:
"Gopinath, I am baffled at your talent to give a humorous twist to virtually anything. I am coining a new term: Gopinathification.
Gopinathification, noun:
Transformation of virtually any news, situation or information into a totally different perspective by looking at it humorously.
e.g. He Gopinathified the sad events at Mangalore in this blog post.
Do use this phrase in your future post (its the only award I can offer) :P"

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

3. Hurray! This is my 50th post!
Thanks to all those who have encouraged me to write this ‘whatnonsanz’! Also thanks to my editorial team, which includes my laptop, my modem, my sofa, my living-room and more important - the Editor-in-Chief of this blog, the index finger of my right hand, which clicked on the “Publish Post” button on the Blogger dashboard for whatever nonsanz that sprung from my cerebral clutter. If it was not for the generosity shown by this index finger, I would have been burdened with so many rejected posts that I would have to go in for a hard disk with infinite capacity! And more importantly , I would have broken!
(Pssst: Frankly, I would have posted another 100 posts by now, but for this bully Ed-in-Ch! I am seeking to be free from this tyrant someday! Need some serious reforms in the blogging space too!)
4. Friends, this is no great record that I have broken, I accept. But I don’t wish to break records, I only wish to see readers break into laughter – that is all. Did I hear someone say “My God! That means he’s going to write some more of this whatnonsanz?”

So do break your silence , speak your mind and post your comments!
Celebrate your freedom - you dont need to fret or break into a sweat nor have to fight for it all over again!
AND DO CONTINUE TO POST WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY IN YOUR BLOGPOSTS!
Finally, dont go anywhere I will be back after a short break!
Short, incidentally can mean a week or a month!

Gadbad, I scream!

2009-01-31T00:32:00.001-08:00

1. Mangalore – Gadbad, I scream!
If there is anything I cannot forget about my visit to Mangalore, some years ago, it is the “Gadbad” Icecream. Though this post says 'Gadbad' means something missing, this post does reveal it really means hodge-podge or commotion as in “gadbad – ghotala” in Marathi!

But the recent “gadbad” (commotion) has frayed tempers among one and all. Rightly so, I feel! Self appointed custodians of Indian culture cannot assault someone to enforce what they think is immoral, can they? Can we accept that people who go around slapping and manhandling women (if I may say so) be considered custodians of our culture? A shameful incident of this kind is worthy only of condemnation and nothing else.

When shocked citizens of our country demands such right-wing organizations to be banned, politicians call them “activists”, which incidentally is a slur on activism itself. Even calling this act “pseudo-activism” smacks of leniency and gross underplay of reality. “Just one incident cannot justify a ban”, we are told. So we need to wait for a dozen such attacks before they can be banned, right? But, what is more surprising, our wonderful politicians have chosen to justify their actions by pledging to put an end to “pub culture”! While citizens demand action against vandalism and attacks on innocents, they are committed to put an end to PDA – public display of affection! Beloved Mantriji (s), the citizens want you to put an end to PDA - the public display of anger by such self-styled extremists being unleashed on innocent, law-abiding citizens.

Gadbad, I scream!

2. Global Gadbad ahead!
So couples holding hands in malls in our country will soon be hounded by hoodlums (I refuse to call them “moral police”) on the pretext of ‘protecting our culture’. My friends from the USA tell me, “they wouldn’t tolerate any such nonsense here. But then, of late, if you are holding your wife’s hand in a mall, it is because she will just go buy something if you don’t, you see!” So who could be against one holding one’s wife’s hand in the USA? The US government would! Not because it is considered an immoral act. The US Government is worried about the reluctance of the Americans to spend. If they don’t spend the ‘American Dream’ will come to an end. And with that dream are linked the fortunes of so many countries. By fortunes, I actually mean jobs - livelihoods, not wealth. Everyone is worried about the Americans not spending 120 % of what they would earn in the next ten years. The hand that is being held back from spending is causing millions of jobs to disappear the world over!

I received a video link by email, of a one-hour talk by Mr M R Venkatesh, an economist, which, I sincerely hope all readers of my blog MUST MUST WATCH, whenever time permits.
Link to the Video of Mr. M R Venkatesh’s lecture on Globalisation , the Dollar domination and the present state of the American Economy.
DO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT THIS VIDEO - PERHAPS DO ALSO WRITE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IS THE SOLUTION TO THIS GLOBAL PROBLEM FACING ALL COUNTRIES DEPENDING ON USA'S ECONOMY!

Do also read M R Venkatesh's open letter to Ben Bernanke here.

Bloggers’ Post-scripts

1. My blog has been awarded the lovely “Versatile Blogger” and “I love your blog" Awards by fellow-blogger Sahaja! Thank you , Sahaja, I am honored! Readers already know how much I like this idea of bloggers awarding other bloggers,when I have said that "It happens only in Blogosphere"!
I pass the “I love your blog” award to all those whom I have blog-rolled alongside.
2. A tweet has been doing the rounds, which I am sharing with my readers, which goes thus
“Without a pub, our republic will only be a mere relic”.
Btw, do join Twitter, it is a micro-blogging platform where you can post short and sweet wonderful beauties.

3. National Commission for Women's Nirmala Venkatesh’s findings on the pub incident and the video link of her revelations on CNN IBN here.

I wonder what she means when she says, “the girls were wearing so many ‘nude clothes’…. ”? Some new brand of clothing that she is promoting, do you think?

A Bit of this and that

2009-01-23T05:03:00.000-08:00

What can happen if you get hit by a terrorist attack, followed by the mother of all Indian financial scams, followed by various political wannabes, like Raj Thackarey and Sanjay Dutt trying to get a slice of the TRP cake on National news media? It is no different from a blow on the head after which one begins to forget everything ala Ghajini! So what was I blogging about? Oh yes, about nothing in particular - just about this and that. So here we go.

To begin with, the investigating team appointed to probe the Satyam scamam faced severe problems. Suddenly B. Ramalinga Raju forgot how to speak, whenever asked any question about the goings-on in Satyam! Experts advised the investigators not to repeat words like “inflated assets” “fudging accounts” “confessional letter” and the like of which you have been reading in the press, because he would begin to behave like the muscular violent character, Sanjay Singhania, which is portrayed by Aamir Khan in the recent Rs. 200+ Crore blockbuster, Ghajini.

The standby medical fraternity diagnosed it to be a case of Ghajinitis also known as STML - Not Short Term Memory Loss - Satyam Truth Memory Loss. Enterprising chap, this. No outdated methods like pain in the chest or stuff like that for the modern cyber-savvy Raju. He goes for the latest ailment in town!

Eminent psychiatrists then suggested that all such depressing subjects should be avoided and some light humorous subjects should be discussed. He fished out his laptop and google-searched for “Satyam + Humor” and a whole lot of blogposts (including my two posts on the subject) popped up. B. Ramalinga Raju was offered to go through these humor blogs and posts so that he will be back in good humor and may just about blurt out the Satyam, the truth, that is.

When he read my post on the monkeys stealing my tadgolas, the trick worked, “Not just tadgolas – FDs worth RS. 1200 Crores” he exclaimed, to a round of loud peals of laughter! When the news of his modus-operandi broke out on the net, I was with some brilliant Chartered Accountants from a reputed firm named “Professionals Without Clues”, PWC (not to be confused with PwC – kindly notice the enlargement of the middle). Even the finest brains in their organisation confess to me that they cannot imagine how this could have been pulled off! “You need a certificate of cash and deposit balances from the bank to support it!”, they scream in unison.

“Wait just a while”, I tell them. “Raju is planning to set up a University to teach you all how he did it”. Soon, you can join their SIFYlliate program, as it will be called.

In the meanwhile, Sanjay Dutt and Manyata are hell bent to let the universe know “What is in a name?” Lots! Especially if a ticket to the ensuing polls is involved. The blogosphere is abuzz with their Amaanyata (Disapproval) of the Munnabhai-speak which they say smacks of chauvinism. You can read it by clicking through several posts through this anchor post by IHM, for better and for verse.

What else can you expect from a guy who has been there (in jail) and done that (guns and drugs)? If the off-screen Munnabhai would really want to follow the ideals of Gandhigiri, he would give up his name for the cause like this unique story below.

Story : What’s in a name?
ASHEVILLE, N.C. - A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Asheville High graduate Jennifer Thornburg now wants to be called Cutout. Her new legal name is the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' site.
The teenager said she began opposing dissections in middle school, after a class assignment to dissect a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.

Whether one wants to retain their maiden surname or her husbands surname or both or none or something like the above is a personal matter of choice. As this article says , women are lucky to have this choice – men don’t – they are stuck with the name they are born with.

Well, actually Sanjay Dutt can change his name to AnythingForATicket.com. He may not prefer a name like DoSomeGandhigiri.com!

Btw, Do you know what is common between the Bacchan-Gandhi family feud, the Ambani Brothers' family feud and the Dutt siblings family feud?
Amar Singh!
Family feuds Amar Rahe!

Welcome Obama!
Chirag Thakkar and Jayesh Gandhi of Surat, Gujarat dedicate a Hindi song to Barack Hussein Obama on his swearing-in as the President of United States of America. Hear this out guys, it's pretty cool!

Endgame: Guess what Obama will say when the dog he promised his daughters goes about lifting its leg in the White House?
“No – you can’t!”

Blogger's Postscript: I am not posting anything about that neighbouring country - Raj Thackerey might just target all blogs with such names of countries or their cities like he did to a sweet shop named "Karachi Sweets". If you follow Ramesh Srivats on twitter, you will know what he believes - that Mysore Pak will be the next target! You are right Ramesh, but would they attack because of "Mysore" or "Pak"? Because the Senas have started attacking theatres screening Kannada films in Maharashtra to rake up the border issue too!

With so many blows on our head, we are sure to suffer from Ghajinitis and forget all about our main target - the terrorists!

This happens only in Blogosphere!

2009-01-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever read or heard of an award that Rakhi Sawant got from Mallika Sherawat?
Or the one that Pritamda awarded to AR Rehman?
Or that Sonam Kapoor bestowed on Deepika Padukone?
Or that Vidhu Vinod Chopra awarded Sanjay Leela Bhansali?

You didn't. Because, they simply didn't!

Did Sachin Tendulkar give an award to Sania Mirza?
Did Saina Nehwal give it to Abhinav Bindra?
Did Harbhajan give it to Shreesanth or even to Andrew Symmonds?

Did NR Narayanamurthy give an award to Aziz Premji?
Did Anil Ambani give it to Mukesh Ambani?
Or Atalji give an award to Advaniji? Or even to Manmohanji? Or to Soniaji?

Did Buddhadev Bhattacharya give an award to Mamata Bannerji?
Even though she did a better job of driving away industry from the state than all the Left parties did in their entire lifetimes put together, he didnt!

Niether did Balasaheb award Raj Thackeray!
Even though his attempt to drive away "outsiders" surpassed all the Senior Tiger's past efforts on similar lines - he didnt!

Btw - "Outsiders" can be the Indian Word of the Year 2008. What say?

But I got an award from fellow-blogger, and a more creative writer than myself Indyeah! I have blogrolled you, Indyeah and thank you so much for the award!

The Kreativ Blogger award is sitting smugly at the top alongside. Beautiful isnt it? Some people even think I deserve it! I am proud to belong to the blogosphere, where one receives an award from equally or perhaps even more worthy of Creativity than I am! This happens only in the blogosphere!

So three cheers for all of us in the blogosphere! We are much better than the filmy artistes, business barons and the politicians, who never award each other.

I confer the Kreative Blogger award to two very creative bloggers that I have been thoroughly impressed with ever since I have begun blogging:

1. Ramesh Srivats - Let's Put da

2. Satish Acharya - The world of an Indian Cartoonist

I am sure they deserve this award for being very creative in their blogposts.

Come on, applaud to the high pitch of drumrolls, please!

I would also like to once again thank all those who had awarded me in the past!

Tickled by Life!
Another thing that happens only in the blogosphere is an invitation to write for other blogs/websites. When I found this simply wonderful young website, on personality development, training and life issues, aptly named "Tickled by life". I was surprised to find more than 60 ticklers, posting their tickles on this website.

And I was thinking I was the lone tickler, stupid me! When I read their most popular tickles, I found that these tickles were of a different kind. They tickled someplace else! In a way that would make you think and want to change!

I left a message "from one tickler to another". Soon enough I got an invitation to write for their website! I grabbed the opportunity to be one among 60+ ticklers.

Do read my first contribution on tickledbylife.com!

Do subscribe to tickledbylife - I am sure you all will simply love it!

I am sure the blogosphere can do a lot more to humanity than you can ever imagine!

Thank you, all! Proud to be a blogger!

Words Of The Year 2008

2009-01-16T06:14:00.001-08:00

We all know that business channels declare the Businessman of the Year, certain media houses announce the Indian of the Year and so on, but do you know that publishers of dictionaries like the Oxford American Dictionary, Merriam Webster Dictionary and certain language societies like the American Dialect Society, and organizations who monitor trends in the English language like Global Language Monitor announce the Word Of The Year (WOTY), each year?

So which word has made it to be the WOTY 2008?

Have a look:
The New Oxford American Dictionary has announced their Oxford WOTY 2008: …….
Oh, but don’t we generally announce the nominations first?
So here you go…
There are many nominations, I would like to list two which did not make it to the final list though, which I liked:
staycation – a vacation taken at or near one’s home, taking day trips, and such other activities
tweet – a short message sent via the Twitter service, using a cellphone or other mobile device.
The finalists from among the nominations for the Oxford WOTY 2008 are:
frugalista – person who leads a frugal lifestyle, but stays fashionable and healthy by swapping clothes, buying second-hand, growing own produce,
moofer – a mobile out of office worker – ie. someone who works away from a fixed workplace, via Blackberry/laptop/wi-fi etc. (also verbal noun, moofing)
If you want to find out more about moofing, visit this website
topless meeting – Hey it is not what you thought! It is a meeting in which the participants are barred from using their laptops, Blackberries, cellphones, etc.
toxic debt – mainly sub-prime debts that are now proving so disastrous to banks. They were parceled up and sent around the global financial system like toxic waste, hence the allusion.
hypermiling - coined in 2004 by Wayne Gerdes, who runs this web site.

Hypermiling or to hypermile, is to attempt to maximize gas mileage by making fuel-conserving adjustments to one’s car and one’s driving techniques. Rather than aiming for good mileage or even great mileage, hypermilers seek to push their gas tanks to the limit and achieve hypermileage, exceeding EPA ratings for miles per gallon.

Oxford Word of the Year 2008: Hypermiling
Many of the methods followed by hypermilers are basic common sense—drive the speed limit, avoid hills and stop-and-go traffic, maintain proper tire pressure, don’t let your car idle, get rid of excess cargo—but others practiced by some devotees may seem slightly eccentric:
• driving without shoes (to increase the foot’s sensitivity on the pedals)
• parking so that you don’t have to back up to exit the space
• “ridge-riding” or driving with your tires lined up with the white line at the edge of the road to avoid driving through water-filled ruts in the road when it’s raining
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger advocates the practice, referring to it as EcoDriving.
I like the word coined by Arnold though!

The Merriam Webster Dictionary WOTY 2008
1. bailout
2. vet
3. socialism
4. maverick
5. bipartisan
6. trepidation
7. precipice
8. rogue
9. misogyny
10. turmoil

And the winner of the Merriam Webster Dictionary WOTY 2008 is :
1. bailout (noun)- a rescue from financial distress

The American Dialect Society’s WOTY 2008

ADS WORD OF THE YEAR WINNER: bailout, the rescue by the government of companies on the brink of failure, including large players in the banking industry.
Other nominees for the ADS word of the year:
Barack Obama: Both names as combining forms in a large number of new words. A combining form is a word or part of a word that can be used as the root or basis of other words.
lipstick on a pig: An adornment of something that can't be made pretty.
change: Not so much a buzzword as political wallpaper, background noise, and ambient energy rolled into one. The idea of discarding old ideas and methods seemed to underlie everything said by national political candidates.
shovel-ready: Used to describe infrastructure projects that can be started quickly when funds become available
game-changer: In business and politics, something that alters the nature of a marketplace, relationship, or campaign. From sports ‘something that changes a match or contest.’

Global Language Monitor

The Global Language Monitor has been selecting the Top Ten Words of the Year since 2000. To select these words and phrases it uses a statistical analysis of language usage in the worldwide print and electronic media, on the Internet and throughout the Blogosphere.

Global Language Monitor announced the Top 10 words and phrases for 2008 as follows:

The Top Ten Words of 2008 announced by Global Language Monitor
1. Change – The top political buzzword of the 2008 US Presidential campaign.
2. Bailout – Would have been higher but was not in the media until Mid-September.
3. Obamamania – Describing the worldwide reaction to Barack Obama’s campaign and subsequent victory in the US presidential race.
4. Greenwashing – Repositioning a product to stress its Earth-friendly attributes.
5. Surge – Military and political strategy often cited as reducing violence in Iraq.
6. Derivative – Exotic financial instruments used to cleverly package junk-grade debt.
7. Subprime – Mortgages that were packaged as derivatives.
8. Foreclosure – The end-result of the sub-prime mess.
9. Phelpsian: New word coined to describe the Phelpsian Pheat of winning eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics.
10. Chinglish – The often amusing Chinese/English language hybrid that Beijing tried to stamp out before the Olympics began.

The Top Ten Phrases of 2008 announced by Global Language Monitor
1. Financial Tsunami – Worldwide financial meltdown ultimately stemming from derivatives used to package subprime mortgages.
2. Global Warming – The No. 2 buzzword of the US Presidential Campaign.
3. Yes We Can — Yes, indeed, he could and he did.
4. Lame Duck – What happens when you wait 2 ½ months from election to inauguration.
5. Working Class Whites – Apparently, working Class Whites is used as a code word for whites who are working class.
6. “It is, what it is” – On everyone’s lips this year meaning ‘unfortunately, those are the facts’.
7. Lip Synching: The fate of Lin Miaoke, the little girl who didn’t sing the song the whole world sings in the Olympics opening ceremony.
8. Price of oil – Oil was supposed to topping out about now at $200/barrel.
9. Super Tuesday – When the race for the Democratic nomination was supposed to be decided.
10. Suddenness Happens – Top Chinglish Phrase from the Beijing Olympics.

Interesting, isnt it?
Words of the Year are not necessarily new words introduced in that year. Just a reflection of the times we have been through. But dont you think that the words largely reflected incidents in the US, mostly the elections held there? Do you think of any words that could have been nominated or actually deserved the WOTY 2008? Which word do you think reflects the scene in India in 2008? Do write in your comments!