True Wife Confessions

True Wife Confession 330

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 02:17:00 +0000

Confession #3301

Tonight you are meeting with another bi married man for the first time in our marriage. I'm happy for you. After 32 years of listening to your sexual frustration in our relationship, I'm finished. I'm happy for you. Be the best you can be... and so will I.

Confession #3302

To my partner: no one knows about the totally crazy, and unbelievably funny make-believe world we have created, and I hope no one ever gets to. With you, I am the most 'me' I can be, and I hope you are the same. I never thought a relationship could be so filled with love, laughter and passion. After almost 7 years together, I love you more everyday. Thanks to you, it does not matter if we don't have much money or a bigger house - you make me so happy. I love you.

Confession #3303

I am so sorry. You are an amazing husband, father and man. But right now, and for the last few days, I have been seriously considering sleeping with our old neighbor. He has been texting me, and I have even been masturbating to his graphic texts. He wants to come up to our new home, and have a fling. I know when we lived in the neighborhood, and he began to come onto me, I told you everything and never exchanged texts with him again. Now he is newly divorced,and is looking for a cheap easy lay, and wouldn't you know it? I fit the bill. I suck. I know you had your texting affair 3 years ago, and even though we went to counseling, it still burns my heart. But you really are great, and I don't know why I want to sleep with this manipulative, self righteous, no morals prick, but I really do. I know he does not care about what it will do to our family if you discovered it, he just wants to come, and maybe to know he cuckolded you. He told me he has done married women before. Disgusting, I know. I just have been feeling so low for the last 9 months since our move north, what with not having a job, and not being able to contribute ANYTHING. (Except laundry, housecleaning and childcare) You know how much working means to me, what a "napoleon complex" I clearly have. I have considered suicide more often than you know. But after growing up with out my own mom, I could never do that to our babies. When he texted me the messages that he wanted to F*ck me so much, I was so exhilarated and an instant fire was ignited. I have not felt this in so long! I am clearly addicted now, and don't want to come down off of this high. I know what I need to do, stop texting him before I end up having mindless sex with this serial womanizer, and disclose everything to you once more. I pray to GOD that I can do this. I'm so sorry.

Confession #3304

I really hope you come back to me. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't. But I would be so, so sad.

Confession #3305

I am really looking forward to our upcoming ‘family’ vacation. Especially because your spoiled rotten man-child of a son will be there, sulking because he has no money to do what HE wants to do, his lazy ass girlfriend will sit around doing NOTHING to help out, and their child will be whining and crying for an entire week… I’m looking forward to it, because I just got my Rx’s for Xanax and Zoloft renewed!

Confession #3306

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I found out he cheated on me and now has a daughter. After I worked my ass off in school, take care of the kids, the house, and I work. How could he fucking do this to me? I love him with every fiber of my being and I just want my husband the man I married back. I am so hurt and lost that I don't know what to do. All I know if that I love him. I want him. I need him. I pray that we can get through this because when you love someone with all your heart you stand by them and love them even with all their faults. I know after 7 years you get comfortable. I gained weight after I had our son. I stopped wearing makeup and doing my hair because with two kids lets face its sort of impossible. But I never stopped love him. I never would in my life no matter how bad things got, would I ever consider doing this to him. I took vowels better or for worse. I will up hold those until that day comes. He says he wants to work it out but it is a lot to think about. I will stand by him. Is that wrong? Am I just setting myself up to get hurt again. I cant even take off my wedding ring. He wants it to end then he can take them off my finger. After all the plans we made to be together. Grow old together and watch our grand kids play on the front lawn while we are rocking in our chairs old and gray. I want him to see me graduate from nursing school. To be proud of his wife. I cant believe this is happening to us. After everything we have been through. I just want my husband back. To get help to see where we went wrong and fix it. You learn from your mistakes and you move on. I miss him. He says he wants to work everything out but yet he says he feels stuck. Really you feel stuck? How about for one minute how I feel? Where you ever thinking of me when you were with her? How all this would kill me? Nope he never thought about me in this at all. But what do I do?? I love him. I stay and I pick up the pieces and hope that this time everything will go better and we will be OK again.That girl will get what she deserves. Karma is a bitch! I just pray and hope. One day at a time, One step at a time, and just remember to breathe. We can get through this.Why you may ask? Because I feel we are soul mates and we can get through anything. There is something keeping us together that isn't letting me simply walk away. I will always be in love with him. Now and forever until death do us part.

Confession #3307

I don't know who you are anymore! Every time I look at you, you have a cup of whiskey in your hand. I hate the sound that the ice makes against the cup. I am trying to hold our family together but you really are going to make sure that I fail. You say all I do is bitch. For starters, try fucking your wife once a month. The last time I checked I was in my prime and I could do it 5 times a day. Just because you are turning 40 doesn't mean your cock doesn't work! Oh yeah! If you would put that cup of evil down, then maybe you would see what you are missing. Me, your wife of ten years and two beautiful daughters 7 & 9! Stop drinking and driving!!!! D.U.I's are expensive and we can't afford it, FUCKER! What happened to that happy go lucky handsome man that I married? I am against divorce and affairs but...I may have to rethink the latter!

Confession #3308

I've been trying too find a job for a while and its been a hard job market. But yesterday when you told me that you would want me to get any job, even a prostitute because at least I'd be doing something, it broke my heart. You usually would not say anything like that, but when you do get angry, you say the meanest things to me. You probably get that from your mother. It broke my heart when you said you are only with me because of guilt. I may not have a job yet, but i also manage all the financial issues (since you never seemed to pay your stuff on time), clean up after all of your mess, cook healthy dinners so we can lower your high blood pressure, and do errands. I know I'll get a job soon but you didn't have to make me feel so low for it. it was about 30 minutes of you saying the meanest things i ever heard you say. it made me feel like killing myself because i do try all the time to make you happy.

Confession #3309

I don't want to be here anymore. I stay because the thought of leaving and not getting to hold our five kids everyday scares the shit out of me. Then I also wonder what would you do to me if I did leave.

You always said my ex husband was so abusive and you would be so much better for me. You're right you don't cheat on me like he did. You have never been out late or missed a dinner. You are a very dedicated father.

You have not shared a passionate kiss with me in years. You told me I cried too much when I lost our baby. You let me drive myself to the hospital, even though I looked at you and told you i thought I would bleed to death on the way. When I went into emergency surgery to stop the bleeding I went without you by my side. When the baby was buried I was the only one crying.I pictured it all so different with you.

When you walked in the hospital after the first baby was born I saw a real man that i was proud to be with. With your next daughter when she was in the NICU we held hands a cried together feeling so helpless but together.

I'm told I'm a bad mother if I ever ask for a girls night so I think my friends gave up. I miss my friends and just time to find myself. I find myself feeling overwhelmed and anxious if I'm gone to long doing anything. You get to do your dream job while I just gave up my dreams for a stable paying job and health insurance since we have five kids.

I use to be so happy and fit. I loved to spend a whole night reading a book then the next night outside working on the yard. I don't even know who this sad girl is. The worst part is you point out all my flaws. I am the one who had the kids but my ass is not even close to as big as yours. Oh I forgot "your a man."

I do love you or the idea of you. These days I walk on eggshells and sleep as close to the edge of our bed as I can with a kid in the middle of us. I avoid telling you that you forgot toilet paper again just so i don't have to hear your smart ass mouth.

I dream of being happy all the time. But hey it's like you always tell me "nobody wants a used twice wife". Well nobody wants to be your trophy wife or your trophy kids. You get us out to show off to your friends and family or when you feel like you want to be a husband and a father. Then when you want to be alone all the sudden you are so busy. If I have not seen you all day and asked to watch a movie and you say get off your ass it makes me wonder if that guy who always tells me how great I am would respond to this used twice wife.

I'm not saying I would cheat because in the end I will smile in your face, laugh and hold my head high knowing I was a the perfect wife and good luck finding a girl that will stay for more then your money. I was there when you had nothing and now that your getting something I lost my best friend and husband.

Honestly if these walls could talk they are screaming at me to run. I think you forgot I went through a divorce before and already left one crazy person. What makes you think i'm not as strong NOW as I was when I was 24. I left with nothing and look around baby I earned every thing. I bought this home, the beds, sofa, tvs, oh yea and mostly I just don't care. I did it for us and I told you that you would loose me.

So when you come upstairs and see I have had a vodka and coke I'm sure I will hear how nasty it is to drink alcohol. I'm sure you will remind me how good parents never have a drink of alcohol. I'm not drunk but I will get to fall asleep tonight since most nights I'm to upset to sleep.

Confession #3310

I didn't do it. Believe me, I wanted to. SO FUCKING MUCH. But I did not have sex with him, and I ended our texting/email relationship. I knew he just wanted to use me, and walk away knowing he had screwed (another) married woman, and although he was funny, he was ultimately a coward, and would not push me out of the way of a horse and buggy, or EVER stand by me the way you always have and will. I told you about our texting last week, but only a small fraction of it. (I can and never will tell you everything, it would crush your spirit, honey) But I TOLD you. Because I knew if I did, you could save me from myself, save me from making the biggest mistake of my life, our our and the children's lives. And you did save me. I love you. Forgive me.
One more thing: if we ever meet any professional coaches again, gently steer me away!

True Wife Confessions 329 Hero series

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 02:22:00 +0000

Confession #3291

I can't live like this. I can't live being made to feel inferior. I don't care that we're broke, I don't care that we're homebodies. I just need respect. I need to be treated like I matter. I don't need us to make more money, I'm fine with where we are...I don't need more date nights or more dinners out. I need you to SEE me. I can't be invisible anymore. You're breaking me. I have so little left to give. You can have it all...every last scrap of me. But I cannot live like this. I CAN. NOT. LIVE THIS WAY. Please...come back to me. I miss you so badly it hurts. Come back to us....I know we have your body but we need your spirit and love. Come home.

Confession #3292

Just because I am more spiritual than you are doesn't mean I'm into "woo woo voodoo shit." I accept your journey and I just wish you'd accept mine. I'm sorry you were raised a half-assed Catholic and I'm sorry that you are so brainwashed that you think that anything other than scientific "fact" is "of the devil." I had no idea what a fundamentalist I was with when we first started dating. It's scary how afraid you are of me learning how to empower myself. F--k science! Whatever happened to living from the heart -- from personal experience? Or are you too dead to feel anything besides your penis? Besides, there is ever increasing reasearch to show that there is a scientific basis for the law of attraction, reiki, energy healing, and the abundance mindset. I wish you'd look that up on Wikipedia instead of using it to disprove everything I believe. It sucks that you feel that the only reason I am interested in spirituality is because I am dysfunctional and crazy, while you, in your imaginary perfection have no weakness and have no need to seek anything outside of yourself. I feel sorry for you. I just wish you'd be more open-minded. It's especially the worst when you discredit my need to take workshops or classes that broaden my mind and help me create a sense of empowerment and well-being. I am not "wasting your money" when I take a retreat or hire a life coach. I work too, and by my count you only earn about $200 more than me each week! I just wish you'd get with the program and start living from abundance instead of from scarcity and lack. Your negativity is killing me and preventing me from moving forward in my life and in my career. And why is it that you never clean up unless I ask you to? The choice between living in a total pigsty or me doing all of the cleaning is not really a choice for me. You're damned lucky the sex is still FANTASTIC.

Confession #3293

Remember when you came home and saw the shattered glass all over the floor next to you computer because I saw some porn again? The frame that held our wedding invitation from 19 years ago. Well, I wished I spread it all over your bed, under the sheet so you could have laid on it and have a bloody back, you asshole. You will feel the pain you have put me through. Karma or God whichever will do the work on you. You are already lazy and are putting the family in tremendous debt, you also keep hurting me with your porn addiction.

One day, I will leave, just waiting for my bonus :) I won't give you a hint, you'll just see me and the boys gone. I can afford to live by myself and take care of the boys. Who wants a jerk who keeps fucking my life and finances up? You have degraded yourself and you have a nerve to serve at church and lead out in worship at home and talk about GOD!!! You are one messed up son of a bitch!

Confession #3294

It was one of the worse decisions in my life. I cheated on you and I honestly don’t know why. So what you’re not as affectionate as I’d like you to be. You can be cheap (like refusing to buy me popcorn when you take me to a movie), too religious (God forbid I miss church) and not as friendly with my friends as you should be. But you have so many great qualities. I am so in love with you. I am. I just wanted some attention. I asked you if you wanted to go to a movie and you replied that you wish I wasn’t so spontaneous. UH? It’s a movie date not a sudden desire to visit the South Pacific! I told you to kiss me more, you can’t because it arouses you. So, I did the unthinkable and cheated. It was disgusting! I want to snatch my vagina off and throw it away. He’s an old high school friend that I reconnected with very briefly in my 20’s. He’s married and a gigolo. I picked a winner! He picked me up for ‘lunch’ and I asked him to kindly put the Bible that he had in the front of the car in the trunk. He took me to his mother’s house and served me leftovers. LMAO!! What am I 12? I was too embarrassed to ask him to just take me back to work. We made our way down to the basement. I asked for a drink. He cautioned that I had to return to work. I laughed dryly and sipped the cheap wine poured. Anything to get through this! I should have asked for NOVACAINE! He laid me on a child’s day bed that had a talking Rug Rat doll on it. I accidently pressed the doll at some point. The doll responded by asking if I wanted to sing a song? Read a book? Think happy thoughts? Anything but witness what was taken place.

The kissing was great. Then he took his clothes off. We aren’t in our 20’s anymore, he should have been less eager. He was uncircumcised. Disgusting, but he was clean. I told him we should just stick to oral. He ‘sucked’ (pun intended) and not in a good way. At some point he reached for the condom and I could barely feel him. He rotated his hips like a hula dancer and if I wasn’t so disappointed in myself I would have laughed myself into a self-induced coma! He soon got up and complained that the bed was too small (so he and the bed have something in common) and he had a cramp. I realized from the condom that he had cum. When did that happen? He didn’t make a sound. It was all disturbingly disgusting. You know I don’t like quiet climaxes.

I immediately asked for a wash cloth and the direction to the bathroom. He said that the next time we’d get a hotel. He’d take me to lunch. There’s this restaurant that I would love. He has no idea THERE WILL NEVER BE A NEXT TIME! I even unfriended him on Facebook!

I went home to you, my husband. When you walked through the door that evening after work I hugged you. I showered twice before you got home. I held you all night and laid my head on your chest. I’m taking you to a movie tonight and buying the popcorn. See, I’m so in love with you. I really am. You are kind and gentle. You make love to me like no man has ever done before. You bring out the best in me. You’re renovating our home with your own hands. You support me and make me want to be better. I love you. I love you. I love you. Even if the stupid mistake had been better. Even if he had done everything right in a nice sized bed I would have felt the same. I didn’t get anything out of this but guilt. May God forgive me.

Confession #3295

If I would have known 16 years ago all the hell that would come our way after we said I do, would I say I do again? Hell yeah!!! Simply because no one else has loved me as well as you, accepted me for the person I am flaws and all, and decided to hold my hand and walk beside me step for step. I love you sunshine buckle up buddy this ride ain't over yet, we've got a lot of years left to see what all those " what if's" turn out to be!!!

Confession #3296

I am not sure how much longer I can take this. I try and try and just can't get your attention. I come to bed every night hoping that tonight will be the night that you decide to have a moment of passion, and night after night I fall asleep wondering how much longer i can deal with this. I'm I the bad one for thinking that sex is an extremely important part of a marriage? I sometimes feel I'm being ungrateful because you are sweet, caring, a good provider, considerate, and most of all a great father, but somehow you forget that I'm a woman who would love to be touched by her husband. I'm terrified of one day waking up and hating you and resenting you for being this way for the past ten years. I'm afraid one day I might think that it's not worth it and that my kids will be fine if things don't workout between us. I have tried everything and I can't get through to you, you just don't get it. I don't want a best friend, or a provider, I want a man.
.

Confession #3297

The day I met you, I knew I was going to marry you. You and I were so different, yet so alike.

It took a lot of you asking for my number before I gave in. I knew the moment I did that things would go very fast for us. Three months later we were engaged. And the wedding was dated three months after that. Four days before the wedding we found out we were pregnant.

There was a year and a half that our marriage was very rough. Fighting a lot, saying a lot of hurtful things to one another. In this time many people decide to give up or to cheat. I never once became unfaithful to you. I knew that I am meant to be with you and God would work out the rest.

Instead I made a different decision. I decided to get closer to God. Since I have decided that, I have taken time to realize what I could do to be a better wife. This made a dramatic change in our relationship. You actually noticed and you tried harder to be a better husband. And then the big turnaround was you deciding to get closer to God also.

Since we have been growing in our relationship with God, our relationship together has been the best in a long time. It’s not perfect we have moments, but the moments are rare and not hurtful toward each other. I enjoy our time together again. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. Thank you for being an amazing father to our son and daughter, and an amazing husband. I love you more than you could even imagine.

The reason why I guess I am posting this really is because this really helped us. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side. What you need to realize is that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Stop looking at what your spouse could do different and begin to change yourself. How could you expect someone to change if you aren’t willing to.

Above all if you’re married DON’T CHEAT. Do you really expect good things to happen in your life by doing wrong??? So many people go about things so wrong. Change yourself, do right and good things will follow.

Confession #3298

It doesn't matter that you are doing everything right. It isn't about us right now. It is about the mental prison I am in right now. He was the anchor that kept the women of my family from killing each other. His death has broken me in ways I am unable to articulate. I cannot let go and let vent to my grief, I keep hearing their voices and judgement of how I grieved my father. I start to cry and the voices come and I choke it back. You told me today my words were poison and I know you are right, I am drowning in it. You hold me and I cannot get close enough. I want to let go and to sob and to wail and grieve but for once I find it hard to let go. Me, the woman who can clear a box of kleenex at a screening of a sappy movie, fights every single tear that tries to fall and when I do?   I feel ill and I can hear them telling me to stop being so dramatic. And I can see you watching me and wanting to take the hurt away and knowing you can't and you make me tea... your pots of tea are keeping me afloat and from destroying everything around me. Just keep making tea, and I promise once I can truely let go and mourn I'll be back with you changed but yours.

Confession #3299

Ever since you got that awful job, you have acted like a bastard. Even when you quit the job and we moved to your dream retirement home, we've been unhappy together.

Just now I asked you "When is the dog's appointment?" You said "I don't know why you haven't made it already." So I went and made the appointment. You interrupted me when I was on the phone, asked me to ask the receptionist a question, then got mad at me when I said to her "I'm supposed to ask you..." You walked out and slammed the door.

Apparently you think that the wording "I'm supposed to ask you" makes you look like a horrible micromanaging bully to the person I'm talking to. Well, you are.

I said "If you don't like the way I make appointments, you can make the next one yourself," and you said "I was going to, but you came bustling out all big-sister, let me do it, let me let me." Don't you remember? I did it because you said "I don't know why you haven't made it already."

You change the rules on me like that at least once a day. It's like living with Joan Crawford.

I might go to a motel tonight. I really do wish I hadn't married you. For four years I've been pretty much in hell every day. I don't know why you don't like me, but after four years of this, the feeling is mutual.

Confession #3300

We are newlyweds but have been together for six years yet I feel like after marrying you I want to beat the living shit out of you. NO we cannot afford a BMW. Thanks for consulting me on that even though you have no clue what our financial situation is. Yes you make the money but I work the magic with it. You cannot even open your god damn mail. And when you it's only to open a fucking credit card behind back and max it out. Forget the penny pinching I have been doing for months to pay your bullshit off while I paying my shit off too.

I love that you are a hard worker. I really appreciate you working 60 hours weeks for us to barely get by. But I do work two jobs and have to come home and clean and cook you dinner! You are so supportive of me. Just when I feel like we can't work any longer and you want to leave I won't let you. Part of me wishes you would leave. But I don't know what I would do without you. It's like a sick twisted love/hate relationship.

Lately, our fights about money are becoming so common. I dread Fridays when I check to see what amount was deposited in the account and it barely enough to buy the groceries. Yet I have to get a fucking Title pawn to pay rent. Never did I think we would be heading down this road. Our fights have become increasingly more physical. I just want to punch the shit out of you for all your lies. I will do better. I promise. I am sorry I was just living in the moment. It's time to grow the fuck up. I don't know where you spend your paycheck or where it goes but I am sick of being left with the scraps. I cannot wait to go back and finish college. I feel like all I do is nag you and am going to drive you away. But you stay. You are my rock even though not the most dependable somehow I always comes back to you. I don't know if I need to get off this crazy train or stay along for the ride. Either way, we can't go on like this. Putting our hands on each other is not acceptable by any means even though deep down I am glad I punched you in the chin. You deserved it. You always are putting us in tight spots. I want to stand by you and believe we can get through this together. I feel like I have too much invested in this relationship to quit. Even though you tell me I can do better than you (I honestly think I can) I don't want to. I love you for some stupid fucking reason. Even though you are two inches shorter than me and people say we are the odd couple I FUCKING LOVE YOU. QUIT DOING DUMB SHIT WITH YOUR MONEY AND WE WOULD BE FINE. GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

True Wife Confession 53rd and 3rd

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 04:49:00 +0000

Confession #521

To my beloved.. You were and still are the love of my short life. I honestly think we were meant to be. Like we promised that one evening on the Ferris wheel.. We were soulmates. But you couldn't take the pain and handle the separation when I went off to school and when I couldn't afford to come home as often as I wanted to. I feel like you blame me. That look in your eyes.. When I mentioned I was working with a guy on a project... I never left you. I loved you with all my soul.. but.. You gave up on the love we had. I'm sorry I wasn't meaningful enough.

And to the young man I'm seeing now.. I'm sorry these feelings for the other still exist. It hurts me too when you talk about her too.. But that's how and why we meant. I know you will always love her, and I'm okay with that. I want to fall in love you. I worry that I'm not because.. Again, It's a distance relationship. Then I smile and think about how I put up with your pro-wrestling obsession because it makes you happy.. And your happiness makes me laugh and smile.

Confession #522

I think about him everyday, even though it's been more than two years since I've seen him and longer than that since I kissed him. The worst thing about having an affair and deciding to stay with you isn't the guilt, which at times was overwhelming. It's knowing that there is something--someone--else, someone who is smart and funny and passionate about a cause, someone who could have a job making tons of money but chooses to work for a non-profit because he wants to make a difference, someone who makes me laugh, someone I respect, someone who made me feel like I was the most incredible person in the world. One time, he cut a picture of flowers out of a magazine and put them on my desk because "everyone deserves flowers." Funny thing is, I don't think I'd want him now if I was single, but I can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about running into him somewhere, wishing for it, hoping for it, to see how I'd feel after all this time because I've come to realize that though I might not want him, I know I don't want you.

Confession #523

Even though we've been divorced for nearly six years, I still can't manage to get you out of my life. You were evil enough to trap me into violating a court order that I didn't even know about so you could take our son away from me. You managed to ruin my finances, my future, my sanity all for the sake of winning a war I wasn't even fighting with you.

And today I just received another court date so you can try to get more money from me when I don't even make 25% of your yearly salary. Are you out of your mind? What more do you want from me? You have our son, my money, and even though we have joint custody of him, you make all of the decisions. The only thing left is my life.

I hate you more than any one person should have that emotion in them and pray every day that you get run over by one of the trains you work on because you and your family are so fucked up that my son is traumatized by your incessant need to keep up with the Jones'. I cringe at the thought of all the abuse I never reported and hope that you don't poison our son with your filth. I mean who would stay married to a man who confessed he's bisexual?

I have no idea how on earth I managed to get myself into this vulnerable and screwed up position but I guarantee when I get out of it, you will be just like the rest of the scum on the earth and be rotting somewhere in hell.

Confession #524

Last night, when you smiled at me and told me that I was beautiful? You repaired alot of things. Keep it up and I might put my wedding rings back on.

Confession #525

I'm sorry because I've tried to cry and be sad about what I've done, and I can't. I feel the sobs inside of me, and I can't seem to bring them out.

The other night, when you left for poker? The night that I asked you if you even wanted to stop by the house before you went? I was waiting for your friend to stop by - yes, that friend that you are thinking of. He was waiting for me to give him the signal to come by. Its only the first time and he has now made it clear to me that it was the last.

He has decided that we will forget what we did. I can't. I think about it everytime you and I make love. I am imagining that you're him, and remembering the things he did to me.

I love you with all my heart. I just can't stop thinking about your friend. And I'm scared by that. I'm scared because he doesn't want it again and told me that it was beyond wrong. I'm scared because I want to be with you both and this has never happened to me before. This is only something other people do.

I love you. But I'm scared of it.

Confession #526

I love that you're so hairy because it makes me feel less self-conscious about how hairy I am.

Confession #527

You don't know that I posted a profile on an adult website and have been dating, and sleeping with, some of the men I've met online while you've been gone. They treat me better, have more respect and consideration for me, than you have in a very long time.

I got flowers for my birthday. From a man I hadn't even met face to face. I got flowers, cards and visitors when I was in the hospital. From men I've only chatted with or only had dinner with. I actually got to go see a movie! Not a kids' movie. A grown up movie. I get to go dancing. They're more concerned with what I think of them when they dance with me than what all the strangers at the club think of them when they dance. You should try it sometime.

Did you know sex can last longer than 10 minutes?! Did you know I actually am capable of having an orgasm?! Did you know it's possible to sit and just snuggle/cuddle, even all night, without it having to result in intercourse? Snuggling for the sake of snuggling. Touching just for the enjoyment of feeling someone's body next to you. Kissing for kissing's sake and not an item on the checklist of "to do before sex".

Did you know I'm more important than a video game? Or a TV show? Well, at least somebody thinks so. And now I realize it too. And I realize how incredibly miserable I've been. And I realize it's not all my fault.

Last time. Last chance. Going to counseling means more than one visit. If you really want to fix things with us, prove it. Make the appointments with the counselor. Go to them. Work on things. It can't be all on me to do it. It has to be both of us. I'm already half way out the door.

Confession #528

If I do decide to divorce my husband, what's to say that you will be any better? What's to say that you won't leave me like you did 15 years ago? I may not be thrilled in my marriage, but you'll need to work a hell of a lot harder to get me to trust you enough to take that risk. What's more? I am already more in love with you than I care to admit. I never stopped, just tucked it away somewhere.

You scare the shit out of me and thrill me in ways that I can only barely discuss. I fear telling you any of this, as I don't want to seem weak.

Confession #529

Sometimes when I am mad at you, I fart on your pillow. I know it's immature but it makes me feel better knowing that it may still smell when you lay your fat head down.

Confession #530

I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.

I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.

If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.

True Wife Confessions 52 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:14:00 +0000

Confession #511

Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.

I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.

Confession #512

When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.

Confession #513

I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.

Confession #514

When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.

Confession #515

I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.

Confession #516

I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.

Confession #517

You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.

Confession #518

I only married you because everyone told me not to.

Confession #519

Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you

Confession #520

When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.

*Sorry for the terrible delay in publishing. For those of you who don't follow my "home" blog, I was finishing my dissertation, defending it and then moving across the country. Yep, I haz a Ph.D. now. Dawn - July 10, 2012

True Wife Confessions Area 51

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Tue, 29 May 2012 02:53:00 +0000

Confession #501

Last night, when you told me that I was more important then money and your job? When you told me you no longer cared about work so much? When you told me that you are willing to move to Europe with me? When you told me that my dreams had been on hold for long enough? When you told me that our son meant the world and everything to you? When you told me that you realized that I was ready to walk out on you? When you told me that you are a jackass for not seeing that you were "suffocating your precious butterfly" and "are sorry for clipping my wings for so long"?

that was the most redeeming moment in our entire relationship and I love you for it.

Confession #502

When I gained 75 lbs from pregnancy, I could tell you were repulsed by me. What a hypocrite you are. Now I have lost those pounds plus 5 more. What do you have to say now? Here is what I have to say. Practice some self control you FAT ASS!

Confession #503

you're such an ass, I don't know why I bother...No really, you fucking suck at life...Oh yeah if you grab my tits or crotch again you might just be picking yourself up off the floor...No its not a turn on and neither are you...you need to brush your teeth...And you know what, I really really don't give a damn about your needs anymore cause you have never cared about mine...I have needs too and they aren't sexual...How about how I needed you to be with me while I was pregnant with both of our daughters..hmm the first time you were hooked on drugs and the 2nd time you were hooked on an ugly ass rat faced anorexic home wrecking bitch...in fact everytime i have ever really really needed you to be there, needed to be able to count on you, you were gone like your ass was on fire, except for the time our daughter was in the hospital, but you were gone again the day she got out and nowhere to be found when she was sick before they found out why...it was a good show though....so yeah fuck you and your needs....and finally (although i could go on for days) DO NOT TRY TO DISCIPLINE OUR DAUGHTER when you wont even stay in her life consistently. Prove yourself as a worthy father, a good dad, and then you can play that part, but until then, i will handle it and if you don't like the way I handle things then FUCK OFF cause i do it ALONE and I do the best I can and so help me God, if you EVER spank her, I will kick your no good ass all over the damn house...You don't deserve them and you don't deserve me and if you really want us then you need to spend the rest of your life making up for the bullshit you have put us through and never put us through anymore..How it is possible to hate and love someone so much at the same time?

Confession #504

I love you to pieces, but is it really necessary to silently fart if I am walking behind you and then giggle when I gag? I know we both have a sick sense of humor, and that's of the many reasons we get along and love each other, but if you do that one more time I am going to throw up on you,Youu crop-dusting ass.

Confession #505

I really appreciate how much you put up with me. You help carry my baggage and you shouldn’t have to.

Your patience with me sometimes is astounding and I am really, really, really thankful for that.

Having a man that understands your freak-outs and your insecurities and still loves and accepts you is one of the most lovable, incredible, and sexiest things ever.

Thank you bubaloo. xoxo

Confession #506

I cannot understand how you think you are a clean person if you don't use soap. Who takes a shower and doesn't use soap? Why even waste the water? I also hate your feet. They gross me out.

Confession #507

You are a waste of human flesh. All those years I spent supporting you, paying the bills, loving you. You never loved me back. Cheating on me since the beginning. I know about them all. Being perpetually unemployed while I went to work every day. Paid all the bills and made ends meet while you took every opportunity to spend what was left and run up the credit cards. You, motherfucker, had a baby with some 22 year old at the same time that we had our son together, you son of a bitch. And then as if all that wasn't bad enough, as if you felt justified in cheating and withholding affection, love and time from your family you started to hit me. Not only hit me but hold me hostage and terrorize me. I actually thought you would kill me. Well, fuck you. I got to the phone, I called the police and they took your sorry ass to jail. And then I moved my stuff and my son far away and you will never see us again. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.

Confession #508

It makes me heartsick that my abusive, loser of a first husband had me when I was young and thin... and you get me 60 lbs heavier and 10 years older. I love you so much, that I would die if you ever found out that that S.O.B . still has more say in how I view my body than you do. This is the real reason that I am starting to exercise and be more careful what I eat. You treat me like a queen and tell me I am beautiful with your words and actions... I am going to start acting like a queen. I am beautiful.

Confession #509

I've been fucking your brother for the last year. Odds are, our son is actually his.

Before that, I was fucking your best friend and his wife, and still do on ocassion.

I have never been faithful to you, even before we got married. You are a good man and a decent father and provider, but you simply have no idea what to do in bed. I would rather mastubate with a cheese grater than have sex with you.

Confession #510

I look at you and thank god everyday to have a husband like you. You are a wonderful father to our two girls and when I see you playing with them my heart melts. I also do appreciate the foot rubs at night because you completely understand that it's not easy being 7 months pregnant. You are the glue to our family.

True Wife Confessions 328 copy-edit notations

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:58:00 +0000

Confession # 3281

You went away for a long time. It wasnt days or weeks or even months. You were gone for six years and although not a day went by, that I didn't love you and miss you and want you home I was not perfect. You know when I told you about that one guy that I had a physical relationship with somewhere around the 4 year milemarker of your absence? Well he wasn't the first (or the last), but he was the only one that I developed "feelings" for. It lasted about 8 months before he cheated on me with his ex (Karma-ya ya I know). There were a few before him and one after; one being my middle school sweetheart who found me via myspace ten years later. Before I could realize he was a complete psycho; I was pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy, a decision I will live with for the rest of my life. I know there are some things that you just have to keep to yourself and this one has been gnawing at me for years hence my confession. I waited for your for more then a year and a half before any of my indiscretions. You were gone because of your own actions, and even though I never stopped loving you and I waited for you to come home I am still a women and I had needs which you could not tend to. I did the best I could and I made some mistakes. I am sorry for the pain I have caused that you will never feel. I am sorry that you think I am so amazing for waiting and I am sorry that I wasnt strong enough to wait it out faithfully.

Confession # 3282

Hello Dawn, I hope it's OK for a guy to vent here aswell. I have nowhere else to write this. Your doing a good thing with this site. Thank you, G.

I know I still love you, but there are times when you make it pretty hard. I have defended you to our family and friends, but it hurts when I have to tell our children that your a good person when your actions toward them and me say something quite different. I know you like my body; I just wish you could give me a gentle carress instead of walking up to me and trying to grope my crotch. It's a major turn off just as the way you make me feel when we have 'relations' in bed. Do you really need to be stoned and/or drunk to have sex with me? I like the weed and booze too, but not every night. I also would like if sometimes we could 'make love', not the hard and fast wham bam you so prefer. Are you in such a hurry to get your orgasm and go to sleep? I generally take longer than you but when I ask for you to whisper sexy thoughts into my ear while I finish by hand, it hurts when you say "sorry, I've got nothing". You say you want to be in shape but when I offer to exercise with you, you get angry and say it's not that easy. Your right, it's hard to maintain the shape I'm in. I put in the effort because I like it, but it used to be because it turned you on that I was in shape. Now you sit around stoned and munching on costco sized bags of chips and wonder how your blood pressure got high and you put on 50 lbs since we got married. I get no appreciative looks or comments from you anymore, but I sure get winked at in the mall and see others checking me out. It makes me happy all day but I can't tell you because you get all pissy and jealous and I have to walk on egg shells for three days and stroke your ego. And when we watch a movie together does it always have to be sci/fi or action? You know I like rom/coms but you just snort derisively if I ever get my way and we watch one. You haven't turned me on in years and your slobby habits just make it worse. When our daughter reaches 18 in under 2 years, I'll be gone. Fuck you and your emotionally abusive, controlling ways. Signed your formerly loving husband

Confession #3283

I met you when I was so young. Instant, electric, I couldn't live without you. We longed for each other whenever apart. I wanted our first sex, my first, to be special and romantic; instead, it just sort of happened. I remember standing in the shower afterward, feeling apart from myself. I was fine after awhile; afraid you'd leave my apartment so I jumped out, toweled off and smoothed things over. I am always reassuring you.

We decided to get married and a romantic proposal wasn't necessary, I guess. Just last week, you snapped at me because it came up in conversation. I rushed the wedding so much, my family was convinced I was pregnant; I just couldn't stand to not be married to you anymore. I became your wife and gave up my career. What you told me before the wedding, what I hung my dreams on, that you'd follow my job anywhere, ended up being lip service. Because of what I know now, I cannot in good conscience bring a child into this marriage. I know it would be the end of us.

You are so complacent now, a few years into the marriage, that I don't know how we will be together in middle age. I am wired monogamously; I want to be married forever.

I still want to stay, but I don't know if I can.

Confession #3284

We are to be married, and everyday, I feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper into an inescapable sinkhole. You already broke my heart so badly. When our second child was born, I thought we were embarking on the rest of our lives together, but I got to see what a truly selfish and lazy person you can be. You were too lazy to be responsible at all. Instead, you let me hold down the fort, get into debt, and all the while, you played video games and watched so much porn that we had a non-existent sex-life. I only wish I could have escaped before we were hopelessly entangled. Now, I have so much debt, we have one car, and two children. I feel so hopelessly trapped. I do not think I really want to marry you, but I see no way to avoid it other than completely ending our relationship. Part of me still loves you, but another large part of me can never look at you in the same way. That part of me feels it may be impossible to bring the romance back, that part of me sometimes just wants to throw all of your shit out of the house, and that part of me cries for the person I was before I met you.

Confession #3285

I realized a few days ago that I've finally run out of patience with you. Your constant games, though amusing and exhilarating at first, have become translucent to show that you are just a man who will never grow up.

A sudden epiphany was brought on by a conversation with your dad. Yes, I’m sure the self obsessed creature within is pleased to know that the topic of that conversation was you. I told your dad I couldn’t cope with your hot and icy behavior. He asked me to be more patient with you and that you were now keeping your distance due to his ill but greatly improving health. He also said it should be soon that you will be coming around and you will be the one who sweeps me off my dainty little feet. Your sweet father also said he saw a lot of good within me and that whatever else should be put aside by you.

I know that you tell your sister, one of my best friends, that my father’s disloyalty to his uncle has broken your respect and that you can’t bear to be sitting across a table from him. You also manage to tell our friends that I’m just immaturely crushing away on you and that there is nothing there from your side. I’m glad knowing that some of our friends and your family members see through your deception. None of your excuses have been legitimate deal breakers.

It’s always been convenient to give these excuses that there’s something wrong on my side. Let me say that it doesn’t matter to me that you’re 28 and I’m 20. It doesn’t matter that your family is sometimes not considerate to my family. It doesn’t matter that you have no house or car yet. Yes, those things don’t matter because I know and have seen the beautiful, hardworking person with a heart of gold within you. I know that person can get locked away behind fears and that’s why I have been so patient.

I do feel sorry for you. I know commitment scares you. It makes you act like a timid little turtle that hides and moves slowly. I heard what she did to you, that ex girlfriend who broke your heart. I see and feel your fears. After all, it’s been three years now that I have been paying for her mistakes.

You’re not making any effort to work on it though. That’s where your immaturity comes in. You over think the obstacles in all of this while playing your stupid video games. I know you used to sometimes even get smug and think “she’ll always be there”. I I’m glad that trail of thought has changed. I’m glad that you’re picking up my distance and what’s funny enough is that you’re mimicking me. Why avoid me when I’m already avoiding you? You’re just trying to give it back to me and test my intentions. Why don’t you just fucking do something already?

I regret to say a simple crush as turned to be so much more. I know you feel exactly the same. When you hold, speak and look at me, I can feel it. I just will not be waiting here anymore.

Confession #3286

Dear babe,
I agreed to go have dinner at your parents because I love you and wanted to see your brother. Everything was fine at the dinner table until your parents thought it was funny to bring up all your ex girlfriends! Really? I really fucking deserve that after being married to you for 19 yrs and 3 boys???? What disrespect is that, I hate your fucking parents! What hurt me the most is that You didn't shut them up, you acted like a pussy! You put your head down and kept eating... fuck you babe, ill remember that, and btw Im not going to those fucking assholes house again!!!! They are mean, two faced Hypocrites.

Confession #3287

I really do think you're a great guy. You're caring, sweet, and loving. You have a good heart and we're the best of friends most of the time. I mean it when I tell you that I'm lucky to have you. But sometimes you are so fucking clueless it's unbelievable. And I get tired of being the only responsible one in the relationship. You forget to do everything, and are a huge procrastinator. You don't do anything unless I tell you to do it, and either you think I don't notice what you're not doing or you just forgot about it again. I don't forget about important things that need to be done and I notice everything you do...and don't do, like take the lawn bags that have been sitting against our back fence for nearly a year to the curb, or never clean the gutters so that there are actual plants growing in them. I hate being reminded that you're so immature. And to top it off, I can't register even the smallest complaint without you taking it way too personally and having an emotional fit. And when you give yourself permission to go off, you're not only an emotional disaster, you're also an asshole who can't LISTEN to save your life. I'm a logical, rational, reasonable person, and I can't engage in that emotional mess. You use it as an excuse to lash out at me and then profusely apologize later. I know you're sorry, but I also know it will happen again. And I never get to fully express myself, never have my feelings validated, and most of all, I never

I'll never be 100% fulfilled in our relationship because you have ADHD. I know I'm a good wife, and a great catch...and you're a good husband and a great catch too. But after years combined of therapy, I wonder how compatible we are. Sometimes I just want to scream at you, "Stop being a PUSSY!!!!" Maybe you'd be happier with someone who doesn't speak her mind and you don't even realize it. I sometimes think there might be a man out there for me who could give me that 100%, or at least get closer. Someone responsible, not lazy, and confident. But then the cycle ends and we start loving each other again. I'm trapped by your disorder.

Confession #3288

I love you and I want your heart to keep working, so I'm glad you're taking your medicine. But.

When you make that horrible snorking noise at the back of your throat it sounds like a motorcycle revving, and you do it next to my ear in bed at night when I'm falling asleep, and I understand that the medicine makes your throat itchy but the next time you startle me out of sleep I am going to fucking kill you and I'm going to fucking giggle while I do it.

Confession #3289

Dear Husband,

There was a time that I loved you. I really loved you and couldn't wait to marry you and begin our new life together. But you quickly turned out to be a man I hated. You took us all for a fool. You took me, my family and my friends all for fools by pretending to be someone you weren't. You treated me like royalty. You wined and dined me, you were a gentleman and generous to my family. Your talk of big plans like house-hunting and starting a family filled my head with amazing fantasies.

After we got married, you revealed your true, ugly self. You were a verbally abusive, narcissistic, controlling person. You blamed me for getting sick on our honeymoon. You picked a fight with my mother on Thanksgiving. You put up a fight with me when we were visiting my parents ON MY BIRTHDAY. Whenever I confronted you about being unhappy with your behavior, you would completely turn it around and say I was the one with the problem; what you were doing was totally normal. You refused to go to counseling with me. You would get very defensive at the most innocent comments I would make.

Even though we were married for only 7 months, they were 7 months of Hell. I wasn't sleeping. I was emotionally broken and drained. I can't live the rest of my life this way. I've been away from you for 2 weeks now and I've never felt better. I don't even miss you. And all the crap you say to me to try and get me back ("I love you", "I miss you", "I can't wait to be together again")? I'm not falling for it.

I've had enough. You fooled me for far too long. I will be fooled no longer.

Confession #3290

My darling wife
Weve been together for 10 years, and married for 6 months. And I am amazed at how fast your changing.
I wanted to marry you 7 years ago, and you said you weren’t ready, so I waited. Last year you said yes, and I was the happiest boy around, for about 4 months.
I cook nearly every night and do most of the cleaning up. I spend most of my time fixing things at your stable yard, helping your clients, looking after sick horses in the middle of the night and looking after the staff. Weekends are spent at horse shows, or driving your horse around the country. I’ve put nearly everything I have into making your business a success, and no matter what, it’s just not enough. Because I work from home, does that mean I have nothing better to do than run your business whilst you have coffee up the road with your friends?
When I’ve sent all day doing maintenance for you, then have to stay up until 4am finishing up my work, I’m going to be tired and grumpy. But those long nights are what pays the rent, buys you horses, and feeds them.
I moved to this country for you, I left my family, my friends and a career I loved. Have you sacrificed anything?
I make a huge effort with your family, they spend ½ their time at our house. You can barely be civil to mine, and you see them for a week a year.
When we finally do get around to having sex, it’s not all about you. How often have you done anything for me in the bedroom in the last few months? And how hard have you tried to do anything that I like? You’re very happy to lie back and get teased and shagged all night long, am I supposed to be honoured to be allowed to do this? Of course we only have sex when you feel like it. Who cares what I want?
I’m always telling you how wonderful you are, that you’re beautiful, I hold your hand when we go out, and open doors for you. Your friends tell you how lucky you are, and you agree with them in public, what do you really think?
Yesterday I needed you to help me. I needed to get the car serviced, and all I wanted was for you to fetch me once I’d dropped it off. About 20 minutes of your time. Was that asking too much?
The sulking and complaining was unbelievable.
Who uses that car?
Were getting very close to the point where I’ve had enough.
Last night you asked why I was so angry. I tried to explain it to you. Your response was I’m talking crap.
Kids.
We’re nearly 40. I wanted to have children a long time ago, and you said you did, isn’t that why we got married after being together for so long? Now you want to wait a few more years, so you don’t have to take time off from riding.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to be an old man too tired to play with my kids, and too set in my ways to put up with their friends. I wanted to be able to take them fishing, to the beach, show them what a wonderful world we live in.
I can trace my family back to the 12th century in Ireland. Im the last male with my surname, I really don’t want it to die out.
So here’s the deal
I’m setting up a new business, It’s in the bush, with a small farming community around, theres plenty of space for you to have as many horses as you like, but its about 2000K’s from the nearest horse show.
I’m going to be there by October. If you come, I’ll do everything I can to make a beautiful home for you, and give you a wonderful life.
If you don’t come. Then I’ll miss you terribly, I’ll probably spend years miserably trying to get over you, but in the end I will.
Yesterday was the culmination of a thousand little hurts, the straw that broke the camels back.
I look at you today, and just want to walk away. I can’t find the feelings that made me want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I know a lot of this is my fault, I’ve tried too hard, always hoping you’ll for a little bit of appreciation, for you to show how much you value me. For you to make an effort in bed.
The saddest part is I just don’t care any more.

True Wife Confessions 50-50

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 16:27:00 +0000

Confession #491

To my ex mother-in-law:

Your precious first-born son, the one you think is so perfect, the one you think is the most wonderful being on the planet?
He's actually the most selfish, inconsiderate, immature person I have ever met in my life.
You're part of the reason we split up. YOU raised him to be that way.
Maybe you aren't such a great mom after all.

Confession #492

I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You have put up with so much, and you have been such a rock for me. I don't say it enough, and you probably need to hear it more, but without you, I would never have made it this far. You are a special man, and a great dad, and I thank you for standing by us, when you could easily have walked away. I have always said your worst quality was your ridiculously poor memory, but on second thought, it is probably what has kept us together for so long!

Confession #493

Honey, I really truly don't mind your little porn habit. Sometimes you find stuff that's really hot, and on the rare occasion when all the stars align and The Boy goes to sleep early, it's fun to watch it together. But why, by all that's holy, do you have to set your stupid filesharing programs looking for the stuff every single night? Don't you know I have insomnia? I can't always go back to sleep after The Boy nurses, so I get up to read/update my blog and just have some alone time at the computer without someone hitting me with Duplos or shoving Dr. Seuss books into my spine. I Do Not Want to read my email at less than dial-up speeds because you are downloading five thousand little clips from some obscure butt-fucking video, okay? Stop. It. Download the crap during the freakin' day while you are at work. Chances are I won't have any time at all then to be on the computer anyway, because I'll be too busy cooking, potty training, doing laundry, cleaning the damn house, and removing the fucking books from my spine to even sit down. Give me a freakin' break, already.

Confession #494

I hate your computers. I don't believe or even care that they are part of your job anymore. Honey, you sell computers. You install software. You don't write code, so why, why, why do you need the latest and greatest for your job? I hate that you have to have dual core whatever chips, and whatever-the-fuck front side bus speeds, and more RAM than God in the desktop. I hate that you have to have a really expensive laptop every couple of years. I really, really fucking hate from the bottom of my heart that the spiffy end all and be all of laptops that you absolutely HAD to have last year for your birthday, the one that they had on sale at the day after Thanksgiving sale, the one that necessitated my getting up at two a-freakin'-m and going to stand in the long ass line at the local electronics store with our baby wrapped up in the sling and nursing while I stood in line freezing my ass off for about four freakin' hours, was just not good enough and you traded it in less than six months later. Buy your own fucking laptop next year. Better yet, do without.

Oh yeah, and I hate talking about them too. I don't know what all that crap means, and I really don't care. Just let me take care of our child in peace. Talk to me about how things went at work, or world events, or our baby, or anything that's in English.

Confession #495

You are the nicest guy I ever went out with. I knew I got lucky. Your accomodating nature was such a nice change of pace. The fact that I knew I could always rely on you was one of the biggest things that attracted me to you. That, and your bizarre sense of humor that was so scarily like my own. You had confidence then, yet for some reason after three years of marriage, it's gone. Your backbone has softened, you automatically go into defense mode when I ask you a question, and you don't do anything unless I ask you to do it. You hug me and kiss me and tell me you love me everyday, and I know you mean it more than I could possibly know. I love you too, but I want that guy back, the guy I fell in love with. I adored him. I don't know where he went, but I miss him... I miss you...

Confession #496

You saved me. I was on a self-destructive path. You recognized that and were willing to reach out to me. Not only did that start our relationship, but it put an end to what would have proven to be my misery. Maybe you didn't so much save me as help me find the strength to save myself, holding your hand along the way. You were the first person I ever told. When I told you my awful truth, you didn't run. You held me. You let me cry. You wanted to protect me, but you recognized that I needed the strength to protect myself. It was only through your love that I found that strength. I'm terrified to think about what my life would be like if we weren'’t together. I am in awe of you. I am so very thankful for you. I love you.

Confession #497

Just because I work in sales and you work at a job that holds you in one location from 8-5 does not mean that I am your personal errand girl. I AM WORKING!!! Yes, I am in the car. Yes, I drive all over town. Yes, I work out of the house. None of those things mean that I have time to run to the bank for you, run to the post office for you, run to the dry cleaner for you, and most of all, run through the drive thru for you cause you are 'really busy and don't have time to take lunch'!!! You seem to think that I have time to drop everything and do your bidding because I am in the car. Just so you know, I only run those errands for you because I would rather go out of my way than have to listen to you whine when I get home. And you wonder why I am mysteriously NEVER available lately when you call in the middle of the day. Oh, and the text message requests to run errands? Fuck you. No, I didn't forget my phone at home three days straight last week. I just didn't want to run around for you

Confession #498

I know you read true wife confessions. I know that you are looking for mine.

Confession #499

Sometimes I wake up in the night to watch you sleep, and I can'’t breathe because I love you so much. I wish I could tell you, but you don't trust the words, so I know it would only unsettle you to hear me say it. So I keep the house as clean as I can, spend hours cooking your meals, keep your sock drawer full of folded socks and love your child as much as I love my own. I hope it shows half of how much I love you, because I hear your love me when you say "thank you"” so often. You'’re wonderful!

Confession #500

I don't know if I can forgive you for letting me down when our son was born. You wouldn't read any books with me. You refused to go to a Bradley or Lamaze class with me, and you barely paid attention to the hospital based class we did go to. At least, if you did pay attention it didn't show. You obviously didn't learn anything from it. You refused to let me hire a doula because we didn't need it. But then you didn't step up to the plate and deliver. Because when the fucking asshole of an on-call obstetrician pushed a million fucking interventions at me that you knew damned well I didn't want and probably didn't need, you didn't stand up for me. Women in labor are vulnerable. I needed you there to protect me, not to play poker with our friend that stopped by. Not to sleep while I was in the tub trying to deal with the back labor. A back rub would have been nice. Not to eat pizza with your brother in front of me while the damned hospital nurses wouldn't let me eat anything despite the fact that I went without solid food for almost two fucking days. Not to play fucking video games on your GameBoy. I'd like to shove that GameBoy up your ass, you know. When it predictably ended up in a cesarean section for failure to progress, I was in tears and I felt like a fucking failure. I feel like I was raped and everyone stood around watching and no-one called the cops. Including you.

True Wife Confession 49 ladders

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:59:00 +0000

Confession #481

you promised me that we would have kids. Now you "aren't sure anymore". Listen here, I told you if you didn't want kids it was okay, but I wasn't going to marry you. You PROMISED. I expect you to follow through. If I would have known you weren't going to keep your word I would have married David when he asked. Yeah, he didn't have a job then, but he does now and he was ready to have babies with me. I will leave you before I give up my desire to be a mother. Oh, and David? He is still single. How do I know? I meet him for coffee once a week.

Confession #482

Get some new stories to tell already. My father, who suffers from the same problem, has begun to comment to me that he has heard them all. When he has heard them all, the rest of us have heard them 10 times each.

Confession #483

I know you love me more than anything and that your doing the best you can.
I could never understand that hell that is the depression you are currently
experiencing or the agony of trying to get the right medication combination.

but ...

this morning when you were screaming and smashing your head into the wall
and telling me how you just wanted to die all I could think was "it is 3am
.... I have to be up in 3 hours ... I haven't slept for days". and then I
wished with all my might that you would just kill yourself. You are breaking
down and you are taking me down with you. And then when I had got enough
valium in you to make you fall asleep and as you were drifting off, you
apologised. You told me all you wanted to do was take care of me rather than
the other way around. I was so ashamed of myself. Now it's me that wants to
die.

I love you so much. I hope you get better soon, too. For your sake and mine.

Confession #484

I can still count on one hand the number of times I have burst into tears during the three years we have been married. So it's not like it's a daily occurance that you have to deal with. Only once have you ever acted like you even might care just a little. I don't expect you to fix the problem right there and then. Just act like you might give a shit.

Confession #485

I wish you would go out with your friends more often. I LIKE having the house to myself every now and then. I can read or work on crafty stuff without you pestering me to be done. I can watch HGTV, Bravo, the Food Network and even those sappy movies on Lifetime without you commenting like a jackass.

Confession #486

I have been cheating on you with a man I work with for a few years before our marriage broke down. This man was a much better lover than you and turned me on more that you ever did. He was also much more well endowned that you are and gave me more satisfaction. I don't regret it one bit because after all why should I be faithful to a man who puts his mummy dearest before his wife.

Confession #487

I know I fucked up when I married you this year. I felt sorry for you and I wanted you to be able to get your papers to live in this country and make a life for yourself. I'm sorry that you love me as much as you do. I try to piss you off as much as possible hoping that one day you snap and leave me. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm still in love with my first love and I've recently talked to him and there's hope that we might get together again. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish you would screw up and quit being so fucking nice and loving. Any woman in their right mind would want you but I just don't love you.

Confession #488

Now that I am in the process of filing for divorce, I wish I left you years
ago when we first started dating. You cried and begged me to stay. I know
now that it was a sign of your weakness and not of your love.

The only bright spot is the little boy you helped create, not raise. He is
the best, most wonderful thing in my life. I've stayed this long because of
him.

Please leave us forever, as it'll do us all a huge favor.

Confession #489

I know the exact moment I knew I HATED your mother.When she sent me the email telling me that "sending a thank you note after our wedding was protocol and standard etiquette in your family and expected through out the world.So if you have not sent out your Thank You notes to your guests please do so now." seven months after our wedding and like I was raised in a barn.Because her sister told her that she had not gotten one from use. Even though the week after our wedding your mother hounded us everyday asking if we had sent out our thank you notes until I told her the very day we put them in the mail that we had. So she knew we had sent them! But instead of asking why that one single person out of the 50 that attended did not get one, because lord knows it wasn't simple human error, she wrote the most passive aggressive email that in a sense let me know that when she sees me I can almost hear her think "My son should have done better".
I just didn't know that when I started crying after reading the email and showed you what it said you would walk off into the kitchen and put put around until you could hear me not crying and then walk in and offer a half hearted hug and an explanation that your mom has always been like that and I shouldn't let it bother me. That along with knowing the exact moment I hated your mother would be the same moment I started a clock in my head counting down to when I might leave you.I probably won't because I'm carrying your son.

Confession #490

Four years before we "met" at a mutual friend's party, we had gone on a blind date set up by this mutual friend. You remember every detail of that date, what I wore, etc. I claim to remember nothing at all, I say I don't even remember going on the date. I lied. I remember. I just say I don't remember because it is easier than admitting how much of a snobbish bitch I was. I was too wrapped up over your acne problem to give you a fair chance, too busy staring at your face to notice what a gentleman you were. That is why I never answered your calls. Because of my snobbery and shallowness, I spent the next three years in a relationship with a hot guy whose favorite past time was beating the living shit out of me instead of in a relationship with wonderful you. When I met you again at that party and you treated me so nicely after what I did to you, I felt ashamed. And now that you are the handsome one and I am overweight and frumpy after giving birth to two kids, you could do the same thing back to me, but you don't. You are the only thing that makes me feel like a woman, you tell me every day how beautiful I am, and when we are in the mall and girls check you out and you just smile and put your arm around me, I melt. Not to mention the fact that you are an AWESOME father, you let me sleep in EVERY day while you get up with the girls, you change more diapers than I do, and you cook dinner every night after working all day, all the time telling me to relax. I will never, ever, ever judge anyone ever again based solely on their looks. I hope you can forgive me.

How to make me cry

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:52:00 +0000

Remind me that this still happens, all the time. Everywhere.

Because my pound of flesh wasn't enough.

Because until we all speak out and insist on being heard, it still goes on and on and on.

True Wife Confession 327 nothings

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Confession #3271

It's been over a year since you left me. I survived you.

Confession #3272

I need you to stop fighting so much with our son. He is only eight years old, you are an adult. Grow up and stop acting like an asshole. Stop thinking you can be an authoritarian father that has his every command instantly done. You are not that guy, he is not that kid, that is not our family. Just stop that shit and learn to communicate. Our son is going to grow up and move as far away from you as he can get and I will miss him so much and always feel irritated with you for driving him away, so stop this crap before that happens.

Confession #3273

I love my mom in spite of her drinking and horrendous taste in boyfriends. Thank you for being the buffer when I was going out of my mind, for holding me when I cried myself to sleep Christmas Eve, and for understanding why I am the way I am.

Confession #3274

I hate your son and I hate his girlfriend and I hate that they live with us and do nothing and pay no rent! In case you haven’t noticed, I stopped cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom for the last three weeks to see if either of those lazy fuckers would actually get disgusted enough to do something about it. I am wondering what threshold for grossness they have, because that toilet is getting REALLY bad (this is why I poop at work)

I hate that you won’t tell him to grow the fuck up and take some REAL responsibility for his life! I love you more than anything, but you are not doing him any favors by rescuing him every time he screws up, and yes I love the grandbaby, but you gotta admit, that knocking up the ‘booty call’ that snuck in and out of our house when we were asleep in the middle of the night was a HUGE mistake!

Confession #3275

To my work husband:

We went to college together, we work for the same company, and I enjoy your friendship. But that's all I want from you. I like when we go out for a drink after work, talk smack about our boss and our customers, and then go to our own homes. I do not like when you have a few drinks too many and try to kiss me at the bar. And I realize that once upon a time we got wasted and slept together, but that's all it was: drunk sex. It was one thing in college when everyone was sleeping with everyone within our group of friends, but you're married now. The fact that you have that little regard for your wife doesn't make me want a deeper relationship with you, even if you drunkenly say you only married her because she was pregnant and would have married me otherwise. You are more supportive and generous with your friends and co-workers than you are with your wife. In your marriage you are a common, cheating bastard and a horrible husband. I have no idea why there is such a disconnect in your otherwise amazing personality.

Also, I am now dating someone and even if you're willing to betray your wife by sleeping with me, I am not willing to betray this man. It was twisted enough when I was single, but I'm not dragging in an innocent bystander; especially one who I can tell by his actions genuinely likes and cares about me. You've proven many times that you are a good friend to me, but the drunken "I love you" thing must stop. You know why your wife is a crazy bitch about you calling me? Because she can tell something isn't quite right there. She's right to feel mad and insecure. I wish she knew it was you pursuing me though; she thinks it's the other way around and it's clearly because that's what you told her. So when I get phone calls from her cussing me out, I don't react, I just hang up. Because she's not wrong, but she's also horribly misinformed. I 100% believe that you care about me and want to be friends forever, because you've put up with a lot of bullshit from me and if we didn't care about each other we wouldn't still be talking. But if you or your wife do anything to threaten my new relationship I have no problem never speaking to you again. You made your choice to get married even though you've never said anything positive about her the entire time I've known you. I believe you do love me though and now it's time to prove it by allowing me to be happy.

And by the way, I know you think you're amazing in bed. I never wanted to hurt your ego like that, but you're awful. I give you points for effort, at least you wanted to get me off, but you could never quite manage it.

Your work wife

Confession #3276

You treat we so well. You are patient, you put up with my passive aggressiveness, you forgive my low libido, you do the laundry, cooking, housework. You work full time, yet when I am too tired, too depressed, too whatever, you always pick up the slack without asking anything in return. You gave up your own interests to take care of my kids while I got an advanced degree, and then when my jobs hours took me out of the household. My kids were brats, they drove me crazy, and I know they drove you crazy, yet you persevered, you tried to teach them and show them right from wrong. And your kids did the same thing; they silenty tolerated my kids bullshit, they thrived while mine just didn't get it, and you never compared them, you just kept teaching and encouraging, all to no avail. Gosh I am such a brat! I am so afraid of losing you, I know I should get off my ass, I just don't know how and you haven't forced me to. I know you believe in free will and personal responsibility, that's why I expect you to finally say you've had enough, that you're leaving. Yet when my self esteem is at its lowest and I know I've disappointed you for the umpteenth time, and I look at your kind, handsome face and 50 year old, still perfect physique and worry about all the women who'd give their right arm for a man like you, you take me in your arms and tell me how much you love me, how beautiful you think I am, and how you'll never want a day to go by without me being your wife! What is wrong with me?

Confession #3277

Dearest husband

I hate how selfish you are. I hate how all you ever want is a blow or hand job I hate how it makes me feel knowing I'm not worth sex. Knowing you can say your too tired for sex but never too tired for a blow job. I hate how nasty you make me feel. How blood is the worst thing in the world. I don't get how the tail end of a period is gross. You hop up the second we are done to wipe off even when I'm not bleeding. I hate how you act as if sex with a condom is the worst thing ever. I'm suppose to put up with sperm but you can't put up with blood. Fucker. I hate how you can turn me Down for sex and I can catch you jerking off to your phone the next morning. Hate how stupid you make me feel and how alone I am because you moved me away from every one I knew to one of the biggest shit holes in America. I hate how you blame me for being depressed in such a shithole. I hate you mom. I hate how much of a kiss ass she is. How she waits hand and foot on you and her precious boyfriend. Like they aren't adults. I hate how she tries to show me up . I hate how she still talks to your ex girlfriend and wants to hang out with her. I frickin hate the fact your texting each other all the damn time you don't have the right to know every aspect of our marriage even our sex life and btw I don't want to fucking hear about yours. Your boyfriend is a weirdo. I dont trust him around my kids. And I don't trust you either. Because as soon as I turn my back you give them something they don't need or a dr said they can't have. Which you think your smarter than the dr. Don't tell me what to do for my children, you had your fucking chance. Stop bitching about your job. All jobs suck and the girls at work hate you because your a fake bitch. Your old so stop trying to act young. I told you I don't want your opinion so shut up. No one else has the balls to say it. I day dream about punching the shit out of you. I know you wanted him to marry the other bitch. I hate that if I have a bad day I'm not allowed to say it. I really hate porn. I feel it's an excuse to face problems. I hate your stupid burro games. Technology is ruining us. You get off to your phone computer or tv hang out with the boys in call of duty I never get mine. I lie about getting off on the rare occasions we have sex. I think your just too lazy to watch porn I feel like a chore rather than your lover. Your father and step mom are drunks and prob going to die young. Your family needs to grow up. I hate how angry you get with the kids. How everything is suppose to be perfect how you demand I go to the gym. How I have to or I feel like shit because you look at me like im nasty. I had your kids sorry I gained weight sorry I got depressed because your family are jackasses and I miss mine.

Confession #3278

I lost my true love 16 yrs ago, he was my first love and the first person I ever slept with. We recently got back in touch. I am married but I would give almost anything to be in his strong black arms again. I made the mistake of marrying a white man.. I fully plan to be with this man again one way or another. I wish we would of found each other again sooner. Sorry for those I/we hurt but she's gonna move aside as is my current husband.. babe i love you. You know who you are and i will be back by your side forever one of these days. I can't wait for those hands, those lips and that tongue to return to my body.... You do things to me no other man ever could.. he does things to my body that i am certain no other woman has felt.. i need him, i want him and one day I WILL HAVE HIM AND HIS LAST NAME! Not to mention feel him inside me...

Confession #3279

I hate your stuff. I hate:

-- The picture of stallions, woodburned onto a slab of plywood.
-- The clock made out of a redwood burl with two different styles of numerals, one style surrounded by shiny glue because whoever stuck on that second style to replace the original ones that fell off was kind of incompetent.
-- The two-foot-by-three-foot picture of a ramshackle building by disused railroad tracks, with real wires representing the telephone wires and aluminum foil representing the windows in the building and real rocks glued on to represent the rocks.
-- The flip-numeral clock radio from the seventies that makes grumbling noises every goddamn time the numerals flip.

When you die I will miss you, but I cannot wait to get rid of your stuff.

Confession #3280

I confess that I really want a child. Not just any child, your child. One that you can raise with its (though I really think it would be a boy, named James or Jeremiah) mother in a loving environment without fear of me leaving. One that you can see every day without worrying about not being able to afford keeping her. I want to make up for all the hard times you had with your ex-wife while trying to raise your daughter. She is a very special person but I want to see a child with your features and mine. You say you are too old for that and I should find someone else if I want a child. I can't leave you for that because just any child won't do. I scare myself because I am also supposed to be in charge of the birth control. Would you even notice if I stopped? I am terrified of getting pregnant though because we decided when we got together that if I did, we would have an abortion. And all this confusion and fear is making me despise sex. I know you would freak out if I ever whispered to you that I want to have your baby but I scream it in my head any time we orgasm together. I don't know why it gets me off but it does. I doubt I can ever tell you because you wouldn't want to see me cry about it and know that you would have to tell me no. I am too selfish to be a good mother anyways...

True Wife Confessions 48 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:54:00 +0000

Confession #471

You know how the dog begs at the table? And we both agreed that the begging
must stop? And you said you would train him, but I couldn't sneak food to
him behind your back because you didn't want to be the bad cop to my good
cop? Yeah, I feed him all the time behind your back. He totally loves me
more now. Sorry.

Confession #472

Thank you for telling me that I'm "hot" when I express self-doubt.
Thank you for telling me that I'm hot when I wear my glasses.

Thanks, especially, for telling me that I'm hot "on the inside," and that
that's what matters to you most.

Confession #473

If you scratch your back with my good knives again I will scream! It's gross.

Confession #474

Dear ex:

Does your current wife know that you were calling me while you two were
dating? Do you remember saying "But it's just not as good?" A year later
and you were married. Doesn't it strike her (and you) as peculiar that
there are so many similarities between her and I? (I won't mention them
here, because I'd feel terrible if she ever came across it -- they're
specific and you probably remember the incidents I'm talking about.) I feel
so damn bad for her, and I really keep hoping that it's working out for you
two, and that you've learned to be kinder. I'm not all that, and I'm not
trying to set myself up as some paragon... it just seems very strange. I
bump into you guys frequently, and I always wonder, and I find myself hoping
that she's happy....

Confession #475

I am sad and angry beyond words that your pot-smoking never stopped in all the years we've been married. We've had so many fights about it I've stopped counting. Your reasoning and casual attitude about it steps way over the boundry lines of what I have ever thought was ok. I compromised my own morals because I love you so much. I hate myself for it....and I'm resentful to you because of it.

Mostly
because
our
son
starting
smoking
it
too.

Confession # 476

I don't love you anymore. I know when we had our "heart to heart" a few weeks ago that I told you I was okay and I'm better, but I'm not, my feelings haven't changed at all. I want to be out of this marriage. You are a good father and we have fun together and we still laugh a lot, but that's not enough for me, I'm just not in love with you. I feel like I'm leaving for the wrong reasons sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I'm staying for the wrong reasons too. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life either. I don't think I'll ever have the life with you that I want and honestly I knew that from the very beginning. I don't think I am your equal and I really don't think you are happy with me either, but I don't know your reason for staying. When you told me a while back that you had more reasons to leave ME than for me to leave you, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I know I have my faults too and I've done things that have hurt you, so I'm not putting all of the blame on you. I've just grown up and my heart has changed and I wish I could do this without hurting you or anyone else.

Confession #477

I hate you right now. If you offer to help, then help. Do it without the grudging silence and short answers. You make it really hard to appreciate what you do around here when you suck all of the joy out of the house. You are no fun whatsoever anymore. I am screaming inside at the silence. Like I said, I hate you right now, in spite of the fact that I really do love you.

Confession #478

I am so thankful that you decided to get off your lazy, alcoholic ass and abandon the kids and I two months ago. Life hasn't been this good in 5 years, thanks to you. You spent those years emotionally abusing me because you made the decision to move with me, 1200 miles away from your emotionally unstable family. Stop blaming everyone else and treating everyone else like crap for your own decisions. When will you ever grow up? You cheated on me with a fat slob from your job, and I decided to bite the bullet and stay in the relationship. I tried for a year to work on things with you. Little did I know you were busy being a closet alcoholic. I found your liquor bottles hidden all over the house, and your urine filled beer bottles under your desk. You lazy pig. You think that moving back with your parents is going to change you? Change of scenery maybe, but you'll never change. And don't threaten me one more time to steal the kids from me because I will have your stupid ass in jail before you can say "you're an evil bitch" one last time. You said that you only stayed with me so that you could be around the kids you supposedly love so much. So, why haven't you called them for weeks? They are 4 years old, you moron. They hurt. I hope the whore you are sleeping with that works for your father gives you some sort of nasty disease that makes your pathetic-excuse-for-a-genitalia turn black and fall off in your hand as you masterbate in the shower. PIG.

Confession #479

For gods sake. You are a mechanic by trade. Don't you think that you could change the oil in my car without me nagging you to do it for 6 weeks or an extra 1000 miles? Either that or show me how to do it. I would do it if you would just show me how. And when you DO wait that extra 1000 miles, don't bitch at me that it is supposed to be done every 3000. I have been telling you that it needed be done for over a MONTH now. I would go to Jiffy Lube, but the last time I gave up on you doing the oil change and went there you FREAKED OUT!

Confession #480

The closest I ever came to commiting violence against another person was
with you.

You used to say that "make-up sex is the best," and that time we "made up"
after I was sure you cheated on me... I was on top, and I looked down at
your closed eyes and ecstatic expression, and I had an instant vision of
slapping you across the face as hard as I possibly could while fucking you.
The contrast of those two actions, real and imaginary, scared me so badly.
It was very powerful, and I hope I never feel that way about anyone again in
my life.

I'm so glad I was able to walk away for good.

True Wife Confession 47 society

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:52:00 +0000

Confession #461

n the month and a half since we've moved, you have done the laundry once and only because I told you that you weren't getting any until you did. You did one load and left the second in the washer for over a week, a fact which I discovered this morning. So, from now on, I'm only doing my laundry.

I dislike how I have to harass you to do chores. Yes, I know you'll get to them eventually but it shouldn't take a week to wash the dishes!

One of the reasons I am so nervous about the idea of having children with you in the future is because right now, even though we only have one pet, a cat, you never ever hear her whine at night. So it's only me who ever gets up to check on her and see why she is being so annoying. If we have a baby and I am the only one who ever gets up to check on it, I swear to god I will leave you. I cannot be in a relationship where the responsibilities of child-rearing are not shared equally.

Confession #462

You're a fucker. I hate it that you say because our daughter is a lesbian that she will not be welcome in our house when she is "grown up". How do you think that will make her feel?? Do you honestly think I would not make our daughter feel welcome?! FUCKER! Remember this darling husband, YOU can be replaced, she cannot. This is my house too. Did I mention you were a fucker?

Confession #463

Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.

Asking me why my period is taking so long to get over with is just dumb. You're not the one bleeding like the aforementioned stuck pig, nor do you have a sensation in your stomach much like that of an elephant sitting on your gut. You have no right to ask, because even if I wasn't on the rag, I still would not want to have sex with you tonight.

Confession # 464

When you choose to stay up until 1am watching your wrestling shit, do NOT whine and complain and be crabby to me in the morning because you're tired and have to go to work. You were stupid. Learn from your mistakes.

When I come up with a plan, you tell me it's wrong and dumb. So we do things your way. It falls apart. So you suggest the VERY method I had suggested in the first place and declare it your own idea. And I applaud you and sing your praises to your face because you are either too stupid to remember it was my idea first, or too embarrassed to admit it. So I let you go on, thinking you are the MAN when in reality I'm the brains of this operation.

Confession #465

If it weren't for me you would go to work buck naked every single day. And you would starve while you were there. And you'd walk home because you can't remember to put gas in the car or get the oil changed.

I do appreciate you taking me to a Japanese restaurant for our anniversary. I know how much you hate Asian cuisine. You even tried sushi for the first time. I know you hated most of the meal but it means so much to me that you smiled and choked down most of what was on your plate in an attempt to make my day. That was really sweet.

Confession #466

Please do not suggest that I go have some 'me time'. You only suggest this when you are gearing up for a night of playing cards with the guys and are trying to avoid the guilt trip you lay all on yourself. GO. Have fun. I don't care. I will gladly stay home, put our child to bed, and order Chinese food, since I can never get it because you hate it so much.

On my days off, as you leave for work, don't bother suggesting I 'take it easy' and try to get some rest while our daughter is at school. I know you are going to call me 10 minutes later to ask me something stupid. I know you are going to call 5 more time before lunch to ask me more dumb questions. So I just do stuff around the house because even when you're not home, I can't get a moment's peace.

Confession #467

I hate your family. Your sister is a bitch. Your mom is too needy and your father is a perv.

Confession #468

i wish just one time you would tell me I'm sexy. You tell me I look pretty.
or that this outfit looks good on me. Never once have you told me I'm sexy.
I hate that many other men tell me this all the time. And all it makes me do
is wish that it was YOU telling me that. I think you're sexy. All the time.
and I know you don't think I'm sexy. It breaks my heart. It has for years.

Confession #469

I know fabric softener makes your skin itchy. Sometimes, I use it anyway. At
first, I thought the allergy was all in your head. But interestingly enough,
you're right Â– fabric softener DOES make your skin itch. Every time I use
it, you complain a few days later about your skin being dry and itchy. I
feel guilty, but I really love how fluffy the towels are when I use
softener.

Confession #470

I'm so glad that after a year, you have finally made a friend at work. I'm
trying desperately not to freak out that the friend is a woman. I know she's
happily married. I know her life revolves around her newborn. I know you're
not interested in her at all. I still freak out about it a little.

True Wife Confessions 46 chromosomes

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:36:00 +0000

Confession #451

I'm tired of feeling like the "assumed parent". Just because I stay at home with our daughter doesn't mean that I do nothing all day. When you come home from work, I am still the one that has to feed her, bathe her, and put her to bed. God forbid you actually step in and DO SOMETHING without me having to beg you. I know you love her and I'm glad you are able to support us, but please just give me a break from time to time. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a job too, you know.

Confession #452

Darling, even though you frequently forget to do what I ask you to do, so
that I have to nag, and even though you don't always follow through on your
promises (still no driver's license, eh?), the past three weeks have
reminded me why I love you. You were so wonderful throughout my dear
friend's sickness and death, you were so amazing with everything about
buying the new house. You have held me close when I was down and held my
hand through all the fear and worries. You do so much every day to make me
happy, and you are a wonderful man. I missed you so much while you were
gone and it made me so happy to be with you again. I love you so much, and
I know that I don't always appreciate you like I should - I'll try harder.

Confession #453

Ok- I might NOT be your wife (thank GOODNESS for that!), but I am your one and ONLY employee and I see you EVERYDAY so it's kinda like I'm sickly married to you. When you come downstairs CHEWING in my ear, breathing over me, just STARING at me on HOLD with an insurance company, it IRRITATES me and I want to SLAP you. The fact that I'm 24 years old with a bachelors degree and will have my masters in DEC. and I've been here for SIX years AND I run your business AND if I left you couldnt even train anyone because you dont know what youre doing AND you pay me $10 an HOUR and you EXPECT me to make phone calls to insurance companys for money so YOU can be richer? YEA OK....I "pretend" I am making calls because I can hear when you're coming down the stairs so I just hit redial and pretend I am on "hold" so you can stare at me. You want to be CHEAP with me? I'll be CHEAP with you -- I feel REALLY lucky that I am NOT your wife, although she pisses me the fuck off too with her fucking nose in the air like shes Princess Diana...I can't wait to leave next month...oh, and I wrote this email WHILE I am on you're time..I AM a good worker but not when you screw me!

Confession #454

I just really want my own wife. Not for the sex, although that could probably be fun. I want to come home to a clean house. I want the laundry to be done and folded. I want the dishes to magically clear off the table and that the kitchen is clean at night. Coffee done at night, sheets changed, clothes picked up...
I love you dear husband, but why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself? Once a month just because cause you thought I needed the help does.not.cut.it. In fact, it pisses me off and you wonder why I act so ugly when you say it so sweetly. AUGH. I can almost handle cleaning up after the kids by myself, but damn, man, can you not wipe your bathroom floor to remove the nastiness that you put there?

I work - yes my job is easy and pays really well, but I also do 90% of the childcare and 90% of the cooking and cleaning. You cutting the grass doesn't compare. Where is my maid? And wait, why is the wife the defacto maid? Now I'm completely pissed off!

Confession #455

I do not feel worthy to be your wife. We have everything we need and want.
You treat me like a queen. You are a fabulous husband and father I couldnt
ask for more. After work, you come down and see the kids, clean up the
kitchen, living room, and still wash the dishes after dinner. I often feel
frustrated as I am not up to your standards of what a wife should be or do.
I am trying to get better with cleaning things up the way you would want
them to be done. Please be patient with me, I am trying. I love you.

Confession #456

You just don't get it. Even after two decades together.
When I'm mad, upset, ranting out of control, do NOT look at me like I'm some bitch from hell and never walk away. All you need to do is wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, kiss the top of my head and say "it'll be all right" or say nothing at all. I melt. My mood is instantly better. Don't underestimate the power of touch.

Confession #457

dear husband,

to me you are perfection. your walk, your smile, your eyes, your everything is perfection.
I just wish I wasnt so imperfect, then maybe, just maybe I could feel better about myself
and better about loving you

Confession #458

I swear. to. god. if you piss on the floor by the toilet one more time I'm going to scream! Why is it so hard for you to hit the toilet? I understand that at night it is hard to see where you are aiming but doesn't piss hitting water and piss hitting tile sound different? I call bullshit when you say you don't know when you are doing it. Have some common fucking courtesy to WIPE IT UP when you are done. GOD!

Confession #459

I love you more than life itself. Everyday I am thankful that you have stuck by me through thick and thin. But one day, I fear you'll see through me and you'll walk out the door. And that will be the day that I die. Until then, I am going to hold on as tight as I can.

Confession #460

You trust me too much. You don't have a problem with me going out without
you or staying out late with my guy friends. You don't mind the very deep
friendship that I have with my closest male friend. You never begrudge me a
night out and never seem to get jealous. It would be so easy for me to have
an affair. And I have thought about it on more than one occasion. But I
never do. I expect that it is your undying trust that keeps me trustworthy.

True Wife Confessions 326 - Constantine's really bad year

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:57:00 +0000

Confession #3261

I'm seeing someone. Someone who calls me beautiful. Someone who likes to dance. Someone who will buy me flowers and birthday presents and anniversary presents. Someone who will take me out and talk to me instead of sitting there and expecting me to carry the entire conversation.
I hate that your mom still babies you. I hate that we're in law school and your parents are constantly, "Have children, I want grand-children, Don't worry we'll take care of them while your in school"
No! I don't want to have children! Is that such a big deal?? And if I do have children, it will be when I'm good and ready! Not when I spend 14 hours a day reading/studying/working.
We were married too young. I adore you. But…I am no longer in love with you. I am no longer 19 and wide-eyed. Still brimming with hope, but wiser.
I want a divorce.

Confession #3262

When I sent the link to your active dating site profile to your fiancé, it wasn't because I want to ruin your life. I wanted to save someone else from making the same mistakes I did before it was too late.

Nobody believes you when you say that I created the profile to try to win you back. They are just too polite to say it to your face.

Confession #3263

I am sorry.

I am sorry that because of me you have lost one of your oldest friends. I know he sat on his issues with my big mouth for 7 years and refused to talk to you about it until now, but it was still my big mouth that caused that rift. You think I shouldn't apologize and I know the fault falls on you as well for telling me everything, but I should of been more respectful. I hope that you can salvage the friendship, I honestly do and I hope he understands now how truly sorry I am as well.

Confession #3264

I always had this feeling that you were only attracted to me for my looks. You always denied it. But two days ago I asked you to name one thing that you loved about me that wasn't physical...and you couldn't answer. Instead, you turned the question around to me. I answered and then you twisted my words and gave me pretty much the exact same answer. Now I know how you really feel...

Confession #3265

We have only been married a year n half but have to say its been my unhappiest. When will u grow a set of balls and stand up to your bitch of a mum!
You stand and let her belittle me all the time and never say a word! The women is a complete and utter control freak, you let her dictate our lives and never give a thought to how it's affecting me and your son.
You will never cut the apron strings and you think you can treat me like ur mum.i am not here to pick up, clean , tidy up after you I do that enough with our 2 year old!
For the last 10 months I have been goin with another man something that u will never b! He has made me realise so much n made me feel loved beyond belief.
After Christmas we will b leaving u...u can't say I didn't try with u!

Your soon to be ex wife

Confession #3266

I hate my husband's family so much. Every last one of them minus the innocent children. But even with the children I have no desire to know them because of how much I hate their parents. I want my children to grow up not knowing anyone from that side of the family. My husband knows all this. That is not a secret. He knows I even will do everything in my power to keep him and my kids away from them from promises of sex to scheduling other things so we can't see his family to actively trying to estrange every member of his family by starting fights with them. My hatred for them was earned by their bad behavior towards me and my kids.

The part he does not know is that if anything ever happened to him I would make sure that his family never saw me or my kids again. Ever. I would also keep them from even being able to attend the funeral or memorial service. I would make it private and not tell them when it is was and station security at the door to keep them out if they find out when it was. I would not even tell them he died. They would probably eventually find out, but I would not call them to tell them. I would move away and leave no forwarding address to his family. I would and will raise my kids to know all the bad things his family did to us. I don't talk about it to my husband because I fear he would make me promise to honor his dying wish and invite them to the memorial service or see the kids and I don't want to have to make a promise to him I would not keep. I also don't want him to get anything done legally to make it where they can see the kids or attend the memorial service. So I keep it to myself. He might suspect I would do something like this, but he also doesn't think about stuff like this either. I do. I think about it all the time. I don't want my husband to die, but if he did I would take such pleasure in getting my ultimate revenge on his family through his death. I would make them feel like the nothing they have always made me feel like.

Confession #3267

You just announced today that you will be spending this Christmas morning at church, instead of at home with your family. We have spent 25 years building family traditions for Christmas! This must be because this is the year I finally couldn't take the fake, plastic religion of the church we've attended for the last 22 years, and quit going. I think I gave it my best shot, but I am not, and never will be an evangelical. Sorry about that, but did you notice that I was entirely uninteresting to the whole church community until I quit going? And then we had pastors demanding to come over and "talk" to me, pastors creepily showing up at my work, people from church who've never spoken to me calling me up to ask me why I wasn't there? Incidentally, it was phone calls from many of the same people who told me all the time what a saint you are and how lucky I am to be married to you? That's just weird. And creepy. Enjoy spending time with them on Christmas. And when the kids and in-laws and your family ask where you are, I'm just going to tell them to talk to you about it. No more running interference for you. Church has always come first for you...you probably should have been the monk you said you wanted to be when we first met. And I should have been smart enough to run the other way from a 25 year old guy who says that kind of thing to a girl on a first date.

Confession #3268

I have loved you for the past 8 years of my life. I took you back after you broke my heart into a million pieces. You convinced me you were wrong and that we belonged together and that you would cherish and love me for the rest of our days. We said nothing short of murder, death or suicide would break us apart. Now after not quite 4 years of marriage this is all a lie and the heart your broke into million pieces is shattered again into two million pieces. You don’t believe in counseling – but divorce is no big deal apparently. Except it is, to me, a big deal. I’m devastated and so angry, I sob myself to sleep every night. And you? Well you just want me to shut up and get out the house already. 10 days from now I’ll be gone from your life forever and I hope someday you realize that you let go of the one person that loved you unconditionally and would have stayed with you till the earth stood still.

Confession #3269

I wish I could have looked into the future and seen that you were going to start flirting with alcoholism. I don't know how to stop it and I don't know how to accept that I can't stop it. I guess I have to start saving money so I can take the dog and get out if I need to.

Yeah. Okay. Right. I guess I better start tracking the bank accounts too, rather than just trusting you to take care of things because you're home all day and I'm working.

Goddammit if I'd stayed single I would still need to save money and track the bank accounts, but at least I wouldn't hear anyone saying hideous things to me. I wouldn't have to tell you that you cannot drive after drinking a bottle of wine. I am so depressed right now, thinking about how awful you get when you drink.

I like wine. I wish I could have wine without setting you off. I wish I didn't have to be perfect just to get through the day.

Confession #3270

For the guy at work who has such an enormous crush that he can barely talk to me:

Thank you. I like you, too. Please, please, please ask me to go get a coffee or dinner after work. I always try to get up the courage but I'm as nervous and shy as you. My answer would be yes though, with no hesitation, no reservations. I'm not proud or picky, I don't care if you take me to the 99 cent taco joint on the corner, I just want to get to know you. Men who like me have always been bold and confident, and they've always been out to use me, spend my money, and tear down my confidence. It's like they see a target; I'd resigned to be alone rather than let another confident man control my life. I can't tell you all that though, I don't want to be Emotional Baggage Girl; what a turn off. Despite my many bad experiences I am remarkably balanced, and I think I could ignore my fears if you were willing to make the first move. I've never had a bashful beau before, this is new to me and I love it. I'm so used to men who show no weakness, and I've learned that no weakness so often means no heart. I love seeing that your weakness is me. Every time you drop by my desk I smile for the rest of the day, sing to myself, and send my girlfriends crazy, giddy text messages. I know, I don't date people at work either. But I would make an exception, I think you are worth the risk. One of our co-workers told me that when he and you went out for a beer after work you couldn't stop talking about me, you had broken up with your girlfriend so you could be free to pursue me and now you are trying to get up your courage to ask me out. Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm humbled and thrilled that you would give up what you had for the chance to ask me out. And the fact that you would do it the proper way, rather than try to keep your options open... I'm speechless. I'm not used to men like you, who do the right thing even before they ask me out. I'm used to the ones who always do the wrong thing; you aren't even really in my life yet and you're already a cool breeze in the desert. And your curly hair and broad shoulders are so hot. I fantasize about hugging you, for God's sake. I wonder what it would be like to be held in your amazing arms. And since you don't button the top button I can see you have the perfect amount of chest hair; I hope you aren't one of those guys who shaves it off. It makes no difference to me, but maybe you should know our co-workers are starting to talk. It's impossible not to notice the tension, the nervous laughs and smiles and halting conversations. They think it's cute, but they wish you'd ask me out already. I wish that, too. I've learned my lesson about asking men out though; it's important to me that you ask me out, every time I've been forward with men I've gotten burned. One of our co-workers is scheming to get us together, and I greatly appreciate his efforts. Next time he asks you if you want to grab a beer after work don't be surprised if he wants to invite me, too.

The blonde girl across the office

True Wife Confessions 45 revolutions per minute

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:49:00 +0000

Confession #451

Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.

Confession #452

A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.

Confession #453

Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.

Confession #454

Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make them.....one of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.

Confession #455

You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.

Confession #456

Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.

Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.

I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.

In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.

Confession #457

I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.

Confession #458

I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.

Confession #459

As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for work...you worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.

Confession #460

Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.

Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.

Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.

And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.

I just don't know how to leave you.

True Wife Confessions 44 magnum

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:44:00 +0000

Confession #441

When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.

Confession #442

Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

but then...

It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!

Confession #443

You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.

Confession #444

Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!

And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.

When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!

Confession #445

I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.

Confession #446

The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.

Confession #447

You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.

You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.

One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.

Confession #448

I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.

Confession #449

I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....

Confession #450

Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.

True Wife Confessions 325 regrets

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:49:00 +0000

Confession #3251

I really hate your family and your dad and how your turning out to be just like him. You are both undercover devils. I don't know if I can trust you or to believe what other warn me about you. I'm leaving you one day and all hell will break loose when your family secrets are released including yours.

Confession #3252

I have no idea how we got to this place, this misery that is our marriage. I think of our wedding day and how I was so certain that this was the right decision. We don't seem to be able to forgive each other for anything anymore.

Confession #3253

I'd rather commute 90 minutes each way than work at home. Because when I work at home, you expect me to do things like cook the goddamn dinner. So when I try to be nice, and use my lunch hour to cook the goddamn dinner, you then complain because I forgot to open a window on each side of the house, so the house smells like dinner.

I smelled up the house cooking you DINNER while I WORKED. Fuck you. Seriously, just fuck you, asshole. I'm so glad we haven't had sex in four years, because I don't know how I'd warm up to you after this.

Confession #3254

For 3 years I truly loved you. We struggled together through your fear of commitment and lack of normal romantic gestures (treating our anniversary as a normal day, not doing/giving anything for my birthday, much less in any other date). I was infinitely patient with you because I felt you were worth fighting for.
When I was lying in a hospital bed very sick, you came to visit me everyday despite having all the hassle it required (commuting and walking) and you told me I still looked beautiful even as I lay there unable to move, with tangled unwashed hair and feeling like crap.
To me, your unromantic nature was excusable because you were there through the important things... staying by my side through thick and thin, sharing your loving family with me, helping me with domestic chores without me having to ask, never ever raising your voice at me even when we argued, always touching me whenever we were together, being so generous and loving when we made love...
Which is why I took it so hard when you suddenly, one day after lunch with your parents, told me bluntly that you'd cheated on me, didn't love me anymore and wanted to breakup. Just one week before that you were snuggling with me in bed and asking me how many children I'd like to have. Why did you fill me up with hope only to destroy everything so brutally?!
I couldn't believe it... I cried and begged for a second chance. The pain made me throw dignity out the window. You coldly rejected me and told me to move on.
Well... I did. I cut off all contact with you and dedicated myself to work and improving myself, so I wouldn't be able to think about you. It worked... until 2 weeks later you asked to meet up.
You proposed to me sex with no strings attached. What. The. Hell. How can you look into my eyes and say you don't love me but want to fuck me?! What kind of a monster are you?!
You know that I take relationships very seriously, that I never made out or screwed around with anyone! I lost my virginity to you, idiot! After betraying me, breaking my heart and making me grovel, you're still not satisfied and treat me like your on-call whore!

I hate you now. You should have left me and stayed away, but now you've completely ruined my opinion of you and tainted all the memories I held dear.

Confession #3255

So i finally got the nerves to tell you IT'S FUCKING OVER. The fact that i've had to tell you several times through emails and verbally and you still kept referring to me as your girl is so sad and embarrassing. It's been months since i have not thought of you as my partner and you're still living in my apartment.

I can't believe i gave you ten years of my life. I can't believe i wanted to marry you at one point (you turned me off marriage thats for sure). I can't believe you keep living the same way and have no motivation to better yourself or stop working in retail or for that matter try to grow up and act like a responsible man with priorities. I can't believe you
are so selfish. Now i can't stand you and can't help but roll my eyes when you are not looking. It upsets me that you chose to continue to live in m

I have tried to let go of you with care and compassion but you are making it so hard on me, as though i am responsible for your happiness. I tried to plan a life and a future with you and you would not participate in life. Towards the end you focused on your twitter and facebook fans and became obsessed and i pulled away to focus on myself. I am returning to school to finish my degree like i have always wanted. You never cared or supported me in this and this ads to the
number of reasons why you are a selfish and i am leaving you.

Though i am very proud of you for trying to improve your health by losing weight; i think you are trying to change how i feel about you and it is wayyyyy too late. Remember we went over six months without having sex? I tried to be interested even though i was turned off by your big beer belly. You said you were not interested because i had made a comment about your lack luster one and a half minute performances (lol). Well i had the best sex i have ever had when i was in the Dominican Republic. Better yet i have been having great sex with my childhood friend for the past two months and i am dying to tell you but trying to consider your feelings. He gives me just what i need and me go back to being friends. So you need to stop asking me where i'm going and when i'll be home because i'm tired of lying to you. I know you can't take the truth and i know what you've been up to cause i found the lingerie when you were away in Cali.

Confession #3256

Dear husband
Just a year ago you would beg me to sleep with you ..know you wont even touch me. You go out to eat with your x and your kids and you come home and tell me one day we should eat at that restaurant. I hate you we can't even have a conversation together I hate. I wish I could support myself and I wish you leave without us making a scene. I need to move on its been too many years living like this just for the kids. I truly hate you and if you leave I promise I wont beg you back just leave first ...please just get the fuck out my life . I hate been with just because you support me financially

Confession #3257

I haven’t been home to see my family in over 10 years. Shit, I’m 33. Really? Is it such a big deal for me to go home just once for Thanksgiving? Every year you say that we can go, and EVERY year you come up with some stupid excuse to get out of it. So this year I booked plane tickets for my son and me to go...for an entire week!! We invited you. We knew that a week would be too long for you, but I offered to buy you a ticket to come for 3 days. You (UNBELIEVABLY!!!) agreed that you would come meet my family for the very first time in almost 5 years of us being together. I almost went into shock, but I was sooooo happy that you agreed to finally do something for me!! It made me feel, for once, that you were putting my thoughts/feelings/desires FIRST!! I felt like I was floating on air

Then, as I began the process of getting your ticket, you drop the bombshell on me, YET AGAIN!! As with every other damn thing in our life, your ex-wife has informed you that you will be having your daughter this Thanksgiving. Okay then, fantastic. Once again whatever the ex wife wants comes before your obligations to me. Maybe you could have said something to the effect of: Not this time bitch! For once I’m going to tell you no, because I’m not going to back out on my plans to suit your every fucking desire! ....but no, who are we kidding here?

Well, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me for the week that we will be gone. And don’t expect me to continue to go to your family functions on EVERY FRIGGING HOLIDAY, because I’m not going to go....ever again. Maybe you can go to your ex fucking wife’s for Thanksgiving. I hope you starve to death.

Confession #3258

I found the texts on your phone from the woman you work with - and the pictures of her breasts. Maybe you should change your passwords, dumbass.

Confession #3259

I can't believe I became the wife who won't have sex...not because I don't want sex, but because you have spent so many years either just selfishly having your orgasm, or telling me how weird I was for wanting to have sex...and now I think you ask so often because it is the only way you have left of humiliating and dominating me.

Confession #3260

I can't believe I was so naive as to buy into your lies. Thanks so much for convincing me that you loved me -- you're probably the best liar I've ever met. You swept me off my feet -- quite an accomplishment since I'm so cautious by nature. Imagine my surprise when a mutual friend broke the news to me that not only are you a world class liar, you are MARRIED WITH SMALL CHILDREN. How dare you put me in such an insidious position? How dare you disrespect your wife like this and make me feel so used, guilty, ashamed and worthless in the process? And when I confronted you, you gave me such a lame excuse: that you didn't tell me because you loved me so much and were afraid I'd leave you if I knew the truth. YA THINK?!? You are a dirtbag. I'm so angry at myself for falling for your lies. And then -- this is the worst part -- you begged me not to tell your wife "because it would destroy your family". Guess what asshole? I *did* tell her: she has a right to know what a mendacious asshole she lives with. In fact, we had a 2 hour long conversation and compared notes. She's a lovely woman and certainly is wasted on the likes of you. I feel so horrible being the unwitting party to your treachery. I apologized profusely and we both cried. I'm hurt to the core but I'm more hurt for her. She was exceptionally gracious about it all and was grateful that I filled her in on what you're really all about. We "dated" for 9 months --your wife was pregnant for 8 of those months. There are not words enough to describe how low you are. She and I deserve far better than you. Once she divorces you (expect to be served any day now), she's going to clean you out. Better be prepared to live in that car you're so damn fond of. Asshole. Oh, and thanks for the roses you sent today, you jerk. I redirected them to your office along with a note outlining all your misdeeds. Hopefully, word will get around. You don't get to pretend you're Mr. Nice Guy any more. Who cheats on his pregnant wife? Karma will get you, you useless piece of garbage. And one other thing: I've sent your wife all those emails you sent me INCLUDING all the pornographic photos and videos you sent me. We had a good laugh about home made flicks of you masturbating in the family bathroom. Why anybody who is hung like a field mouse would want to memorialize that on film is beyond me but she assures me that soon that'll be up on YouTube -- and copies of it sent to all your colleagues at work. And you deserve every single second of it.

True Wife Confessions 43 Cuarenta y tres

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:10:00 +0000

Confession #431

I love you. I love your mother, your sister & your awesome aunt & uncle from California. The reason why I don't want a baby shower, is because your other relatives that do live in the same town are two-faced-ass-holes. You think I don't know what they say about me? The fact that they have a problem that I'm black & white is a big reason why I don't want them near our son after he's born. Its the same bull-shit I had to put up with my racist grandparents.

Confession #432

We are going to be married soon, which I am ridiculously excited about
because you are the most wonderful man I could possibly ask for.
However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day
you'll realize you could do better. When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy. I hate that I
can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex, and that I
can't let you touch or kiss my stomach like you want to. You tell me
all the time how much you love my body and my spirit, and maybe
eventually I'll believe it. But for now, I'll keep sobbing on the inside when we
watch things like Miss Universe and when we go ride rollercoasters and
my fat ass won't fit and I have to get out in front of everyone. Thank
you for not riding the rollercoaster without me.

Confession #433

i love my husband but i hate his job and i can't tell him that i his job. i know he's doing it for us and the country, but i can't handle the nights laying awake alone in our bed. Thinking about our kids wondering if i will have to raise our kids alone and telling them why their dad can't be with them anymore

Confession #434

I left my exhusband's telephone number on a wall, of a public restroom.

I wonder how many calls he got?

Confession #435

Do you remember the time you pulled my hair and said I was worthless? (July 1992) Well, I put that stinky onion under your car seat. Remember how you couldn't figure out where the stink was coming from???? You found the the onion and thought it fell out of the grocery bag. NOPE!! I put it there.

Confession #436

I secretly believe that you have never truly loved me but stay with me because of 1) the fact that I earn a steadier income than you, and 2) the kids. I think now that maybe I should have left you when you had that online affair. By your own admission, it was only because the other woman got cold feet that you never met and had real sex. Not that what I read in your e-mails to each other wasn't a reasonable enough facsimile. I hate you for introducing so much doubt about myself into my life. You are narcissistic, lazy, conceited, and arrogant. You criticize me for doing things you do yourself. You're bossy. I can't count on you to do anything you say you'll do. In order to be with you, I hurt a good and decent man, even if I wasn't in love with him. I think I've been paid back any pain I caused. If it wasn't for our children, I'd say it was a complete disaster and a mistake. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be with you. You really don't deserve me.

Confession #437

You took me out for my "Big Birthday Dinner" and got mad that I got seated without you. You made me cry on my birthday. Then to cap off the night, you asked me to marry you. Yeah, that really was a stunned silence. Fuck you and your very pretty ring. You are an alcoholic prick who takes your frustrations out on the people around you. Go ahead, ask me when we're going to have another baby. Stall your family on when we're going to set the date. I know the answer, do you?
The worst part of it is, I could have loved you.

Confession #438

Honey....I am truly sorry....Your feet really,really........Stink!!

Confession #439

i don't want to have kids with you. THERE! i've said it. i wish that i could get my tubes tied just so i don't have the option to have them with YOU. you are immature and irresponsible and i know that you would be a terrible dad.
you are an alcoholic. you drink 12 beer a day and then pass out on our couch and wonder why i work three jobs just to get away from you.

i hate your family. i always have, always will.

your sister is an adult. why must we spend EVERY birthday with her? she is 28 now...time to move on and find her OWN life.

i hate your entire family: from your over bearing parents to your selfish and narcissistic sister to your immature brother and his wife. you all are self-absorbed and selfish jerks.

Confession #440

I wish you could understand how unhappy I am. I am
only staying with you because I can't support myself
and our children alone. I tell you I'm unhappy, you
promise to change, you never do. I'm not exactly
seeking someone to leave you for at the moment, but I
find myself "forgetting" my to wear my wedding ring
when I go out. Secretly hoping for a nice guy to hit
on me. Fall in love with me. Fall in love with our
children. Take care of us so I don't need to stay with
you. I look at men at the gym, the grocery store, dads
at the park...and wonder....will this be the one?
I used to want to make this marriage work, but not
anymore. Sadly, you see nothing wrong with married
people who spend no time together. We're not much more
than roommates. That's fine. It just gives me more
opportunity to find the REAL man of my dreams.

True Wife Confessions 42 - the ultimate answer

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 14:27:00 +0000

Confession #421

I love you. I love our life. You are a fantastic father and provider. But
oh Lord help me you suck in bed. I haven't had an orgasm with you in the
room in about 16 yrs. I think about having an affair ONLY to have good sex.
One day I probably will do it. Consider this an apology in advance.

Confession #422

I know about her. I know that you were going to leave your family for her and your "strictly platonic relationship" with her. I hate you for that. I hate you for the fact that you said that you didn't leave because you have "obligations". Well guess what asshole!! I'm not an "obligation"! I'm a fucking human being with feelings! And our 5 year old daughter has feelings too moron! Do you honestly believe that the only reason I'm looking for a job is to "help save up money for a house."? You really are a stupid ass!

Confession #423

Where to begin? I'm sick to death of having you use your job as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Not even that it's the top excuse, because usually it's your failsafe, ace in the hole excuse. The final, "I work and pull in a paycheck therefore any behavior is excusable" excuse.

This morning I said, "It just seems like you aren't that interested in me."

Your reply, "I'm on my way out the door, I have to go to work."

WTF does that have to do with ANYTHING? How about, "Of course I am, I love you, I think you're gorgeous! I can't wait to get home and be with you!" Talk about scoring tons of points. Instead you bring up work and make me feel bad for saying ANYTHING negative to you at all.

Everything comes down to you having a job and me being a stay at home mom. Even though you say you are proud that your wife stays home with the kids... you throw your job in my face anytime I ask you to do something differently, as if I am not allowed to voice complaints because I don't "work." I'm sick of it.

Confession #424

I hate that you never compliment me. I've never been with anyone who didn't
occasionally say nice things about my appearance. From the looks I get from
strangers, I know I'm not ugly, so why is it that you can't ever say, "Hey,
you're not looking so bad today!" It wouldn't take much, just anything,
really. I've told you many times that I really need a nice comment every
now and then, and you say you will, but you never do (although, really, no
matter what Dr. Phil says, if I have to tell you to compliment me, it's not
a true compliment). I know I shouldn't base my self esteem on your
compliments, but after so many years of this, I've decided there's a few
things I'm going to let the plastic surgeon fix. The sad part? It won't do
anything. I'm no fool. Logically I know you still won't compliment
me...but damn, you'll have paid for a sweet package for the next man, who
will tell me I'm the most beautiful thing he's seen. And because I love you
with all my heart, that's the last thing I want to happen, but because my
self-esteem is slowly disappearing, it probably will.

Confession #425

Oh god, where do I start? I hate kissing you because you can't kiss. You always suck my bottom lip and get slob on my face. And no, you're dick hasn't grown! What? Have you ever heard of a 30something year old man having a growth spurt? Your cock has always been small and it's because of that that I have to fake orgasms and masturbate like a crazy woman. There is so much more but the more that I type, the more pissed off I get. Oh yeah, one last thing, I hate swinging. I am bisexual and I always have been. I just never told you. I just let you think that I like to swing because it's the only way that I can fuck women without being sneaky about it.

Confession #426

Your inability to function when you so much as get the sniffles never ceases to amaze me. I have taken care of our child when I was projectile vomiting from the stomach flu. I have taken care of her while battling strep throat, bronchitis, and a double ear infection-AND going to work all day. You get a headache and the world comes to an end. GET OVER IT. Take medicine and move on.

Confession #427

STOP telling me I am shrinking your shirts in the dyer. You're getting fat. STOP eating fast food. You'll see a difference. I'm bigger now, too-I admit it. But I know the reason is my excessive eating, which is my coping mechanism for dealing with living with you.

Confession #428

When you try to talk down to me in front of your friends and family, I WILL put you in your place. Been doing it for 8 years, honey. At some point, you will learn that I WILL get in the last word. I especially love it when your mom pulls me aside and asks me what crawled up your ass and died. Validates my feelings.

Confession #429

DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off. Don't claim to be sick and make me do EVERYTHING...and then suddenly feel better when I crawl into bed bone tired. You're not getting any. The only thing I'm getting is SLEEP.
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.

When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off.

Confession #430

Not only do think I don't love you anymore, but I suspect I am starting to hate you. We have only been married for 5 months.

True Wife Confessions 41 Rama cycle

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:05:00 +0000

Confession #401

There are a couple of reasons why I won't make doctor
or dentist appointments for you, and not caring about
your health and well being is not one of them. Reason
1: you are a grown-up, you know your own schedule, and
you know how to dial a phone. Reason 2: you never show
up when I make appointments for you.

Confession #402

You adore me and I love you. You treat me better than any man ever has. You do things many men won't. People envy me for being married to you. You will be the best father my children could have. But I still think about my ex every single day. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to not wait for him to give me another chance, but that means I would've never met you. I was just thinking about him when you fucked me, and that wasn't the first time. I'm sorry. I don't think I deserve you.

Confession #403

I hate how you make me feel like I am insane or mental when I have a bad day- and I am grumpy- You tell me I am "not healthy" when I complain to you and I should take a xananx to calm myself-I hate that about you! I hate that you make me feel like I am a bad person for having a stress- filled day- when I stay home with the kids- and I don't have the guts to tell you a lot of the time that you are a HUGE part of it! From having to sweep the floor first thing in the morning because you left mud or whatever all over it - to you calling me and bitching, to you having me make phone calls for you-get over yourself!!- I am not crazy- and if I am on my way it's you, your family, my family, and the kids that I cannot make happy, and the bullshit you all serve to me on a hourly basis that MAKES me act this way!!!! Staying at home with the kids is not an opportunity for me to be everyone's go to girl!!-Screw you all!! DO IT YOURSELVES!!!!

Confession #404

I have finally realized that there is a worse fate than being "single". Before I married you, I had high moral character and dreams for my life. I was in college, had perfect credit, and looked fantastic. Eighteen years with you has left me 100 pounds overweight, bankrupt, uneducated, and tired. I have had to put up with your crazy family, you alcoholism, your lies, your issues, for far too long. I should have left you after I had to deal with your DWI. I should have left you after I found out that you like gay porn. I should have left you when I found out you smoke weed and binge drink the minute I leave the house. The reason I have stayed is because of those precious times that you are kind and good to me. You know, when you act they way you did when I met you. That isn't enough anymore. The last straw is when you told your Mother she could live with us without asking me. I can't stand to be in the house with both of you. I'm leaving you as soon as I can.

Confession #405

Babe? I gotta say it. I'm attracted to your shape, and your love, and your kindness, and the tenderness you show our son, and to me, on an all-the-time basis; but -- oh, my GOD. The toxicity of your breath. It squelches any desire I feel when I come within several inches of you. Do something -- ANYTHING -- about it. Please. I want to sexxx you up, boy, but that breath has GOT. TO. GO. first.

Confession #406

I swear I love you more than anything, but I'm not willing to give her up.
At least not yet. I'm sorry. I'll just keep hiding it and hopefully I'll
never hurt you with the truth.

Confession #407

When we fight or you make me feel bad about myself, I secretly think about the married man I slept with for two years before I married you. He wouldn't leave his wife and kids (though he said in the beginning that he would), but we've messaged each other recently and he still thinks of me as 'the one that got away' and still loves me. I wish you knew that someone else wants me so you'd treat me better.

Confession #408

Without your knowledge, I have left a request, with our children's appointed legal Guardian, that if I should die our children are NEVER EVER to be left alone with your father. Not even for a trip to the Dairy Queen. He is an evil, manipulative pig and that time he mocked our son and made him sob I wanted to rip the glue-on hair off his head and stuff it up his ass. I know you love him because "he is your Dad", but he has never treated you well. A son with qualities like yours deserves a wonderful father--a father like you.

Confession #409

I used to enjoy giving head. You've ruined it for me. You take so goddamned long to finish that I get pains in my jaw and end up with a headache. Most guys get off that way in no time. And just so you know, when I want sex over and done with, I won't give you head...and I'll play with your ears because I know that's your 'hot spot'. I don't do it to satisfy YOU-I do it so you'll finish and I can get some sleep.

Confession #410

Why bother with pretending you're about to get up and get the baby at 2am? Why put up the facade? You know you're only going to sit on your side of the bed and heave and sigh until I give in and get up instead. Why go through this?

If I've been up multiple times with our daughter during the night, and then get up for the day at an ungodly hour, DO NOT come downstairs when it's time for you to get up and be cranky. DO NOT yawn in my face or tell me how exhausted you are...how crappy your sleep was. You got sleep. I, on the other hand, did not. DO NOT tell me how you couldn't fall back to sleep after her crying woke you-if you can't get back to sleep, then YOU get up with her. I can get back to sleep no problem. Since you can't, perhaps you should take her on during the night more often.

True Wife Confessions 40 oz of whoop ass

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 10:18:00 +0000

Confession #391

It was ME who keyed your car door after the concert when you were acting like a prick.

Confession #392

I'm pretty sure that you love me more than I love you. I don't really feel any kind of passion for you anymore. Beyond the usual doses of typical marital annoyances, I do feel deep friendship, fierce loyalty, unending devotion and the utmost admiration. I hope these are enough to get me through the next sixty years, because I really want to see how this thing turns out.

Confession #393

I love you. You knew I was falling in love with you all the while. I told you. But then, before you left, you acted all shocked, and told me you didn't want that to happen. That you didn't feel that way about me. But then you stayed here for another 3 days before you had to go. I don't understand why, if you KNEW ALL ALONG WHY YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SOONER. And don't use going to war as an excuse. Bullshit.

Confession #394

I hate that you are an alcoholic. I hate that you
won't get help. I hate that you pee some nights in
bed. I hate that our kids know there is a problem. I
hate that my small son knows the word "drunk". I hate
that you blare your music so loud we wake up. I hate
the way you talk to me while drinking. I hate when
you try to grope me when you are totally smashed. I
hate beer cans and cigarette butts left on our lawn.
I hate feeling embarrassed because of you. I hate
when you ruin my plans by drinking. I hate going out
with you because I feel like I can't enjoy myself
100%. I hate being so darn weak that I stay with you.
Most of all I hate that you know all of this and
don't seem to care.

Confession #395

I hated you even more today than I thought I have in a long time. You drove like a fucking maniac, weaving in and out of traffic in the city and then on the parkway, with the road all slick from the rain, WITH OUR 19-MONTH OLD IN THE BACK. I begged. I pleaded for you to slow down, remember that your son is in the back. You barked at me like a fucking animal. You bullied me with your driving. The part of the ride where we stopped talking, when I was staring out of the window looking at the lights...I was trying to convince myself that I really could divorce you and financially survive. That no matter how much a son needs his father, he needs to grow up in a happy and healthy environment too. I was realizing that I can leave your lowlife ass and I will survive, and me and my son will make it. My family puts up with you, but trust me, my mom would be dancing in the streets if I told her I was leaving you, you piece of shit. Your family never taught you any respect for anyone but yourself. Hope that right hand falls off. You don't deserve us. Loser.

Confession #396

I have been lying to you about money to get back at you for not loving me, for blaming your lack of desire for me on me being fat, and for spending more time in front of the computer playing online poker and looking at perverted porn. And now that it's coming to a head, I can't wait to get caught because then you will either wake up to what's wrong with our marriage or let me out.

Confession #397

I am dying to cheat on you. If it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. If you don't value our marriage, why the hell should I? How stupid do you think I am? "I can't wait to kiss you, love [you]" found in your inbox and you claim your email account was hacked into? I'm only glad I forwarded all of them to myself so I you can't deny they were there. I was pregnant with your second child, for God's sake. I will NEVER forgive you for that, and of course I don't trust you. Give me a reason to do so and I will. Until then I can't.

Confession #398

Nothing could ever split us up, but there are a few things that are pissing me off. Take for example your constant guilt trips. I don't need them. I'm aware that you are a great husband, and that you are allways doing what I want to do and constantly entertain me. But that doesn't mean I have to pay you back in sex every 12 hours. I have a life! You, apparently, do not, and that is your business not mine.

And one more thing... Stop bugging me about having a baby! Me and you aren't the type of people that should procreate! We're selfish bastards! You don't know the first thing about babies, you only want one so that it might mold me into the 'perfect wife/mother'. News flash: not the right reason to have children!

Confession #399

sweetie, I love you. but would you put your goddamn dirty socks in a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor wherever you took them off? it's embarassing when people come over. it's not like I don't have five hampers going at any given time. learn to use them.

also. when I come to your work to pick you up. why cannot you get your ass out to meet me when I am actually driving up? no matter what I do, you STILL wait until you see the car parked in front of your office building before you stop doing what you are doing, ride down fifteen floors and come outside to meet me. you say you don't want to be left waiting--but it's OK to leave *me* waiting for *you* with two screaming kids in the car? wtf! your time is more important than ours? fuck that.

Confession #400

Yes, I'd love to have another baby too. I have room for more than one in my heart.

Unfortunately, I don't have room in my day for another child. I do at least 95% of the care for our current one together. I'm sure you'd love to have another baby. Considering that I'd go insane though, maybe it's not the best idea. I can't be a full time mom, full time employee, full time wife, and part time stepmom to anyone else.

Sorry. Step up to the plate and maybe one day I'd consider it. Until then, no I won't stop taking the birth control.

True Wife Confession 324 sleepless moments

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:47:00 +0000

Confession# 3241

Arrrggh! You really piss me off.

You got new hours at work a year ago, the 1pm-10pm shift, supposedly so we both would have days we got to sleep in and so you could help take care of our kid in the morning. This has proved to be complete bullshit. YOU sleep in 90% of the time. I'm up at all hours with the kid, and you sleep.

The kid wakes up in the night and calls for us loudly over the monitor. You don't move. Don't so much as twitch. So I end up getting up with her a few nights a week, sometimes I end up staying up for HOURS because she won't go back to sleep, and you STILL don't get the fuck up with her in the morning and let me recuperate.

This weekend I got up with her both mornings. You apologized for not giving me a day to sleep in. Last night, she woke up at 4:30am and didn't go back to sleep at all. When she came into our room at 6, you didn't move. Guess who got up with her yet again. Have I mentioned I'm two months pregnant?

You always apologize. "Oh, I meant to get up with her today." Actions speak louder than words. My favorite is when you add, "Why didn't you wake me up?" I AM NOT YOUR KEEPER. You're 41 years old. Act like it.

Seriously. You're fucking lazy and I'm sick and tired of it. This child isn't only mine. Get the fuck out of bed and take care of her once in a goddamn while. And you wonder why I want to take a weekend away from you and she both (and for the record, I never have, not in the 3 years she has been on this earth)...I'd LOVE to fucking SLEEP FOR ONCE. You will NOT be getting away with this shit when baby #2 arrives in February.

Confession #3242

So you and I have been apart for four months now... again. I am so sick of being the on-again, off-again couple that everyone hates to hear about. I could have messed up early and married you as I wanted to but my Dad saved me from that.. thank goodness for caring parents who know more than kids. You told me something today that I had been expecting to hear: "I want you." You also said, "I love you." My heart aches for you because I know you are not strong. You need someone to make you feel whole. I am moving on and I am seeing things more clearly than ever. You can't even be un-selfish in asking me back. Yes, YOU miss me, YOU want me.. What do I want? You didn't even ask. I want to be happy and move on with my life. What was in the past needs to stay there. I love you. I still do after all this. I love you with all my heart which is why I am saying no. It's why I'm pushing you to grow on your own. Our relationship was not a healthy one and I will miss it, but I am not going to rekindle it with you. I will be here as your friend, but our relationship is finished and I want to keep it that way. Otherwise you and I will just grow to hate each other and I think that would tear you apart more than me keeping you at a distance. It only hurts us both to think about what was and can never be again. Let it be.

Confession #3243

Dear guy I am talking to on the internet: I don't know you, really. But thanks for just making me feel smart and funny and maybe even a tiny bit desirable. There isn't anything that is going to come of our once a day email, but I enjoy having someone talk to me like an intelligent adult human, even briefly.

Confession #3244

The hardest thing I've ever done is summon the strength to keep away from you. You know how much I love you -- we both know you aren't worth it. You have lied, cheated and manipulated me. You've kept me on a string for nearly 6 years, either showering me with affection or withdrawing it. It's a sick version of "he loves me, he loves me not". It breaks my heart to realize that I meant nothing to you -- that when you went on about my beauty, it wasn't just endearments. It really was all you saw of me -- what you called a "flawless body and a beautiful face" were the only things that kept you around. As if that's all there was to see, or maybe you just couldn't be bothered to look any further. Nothing else about me interested you even slightly. I was nothing more than a toy to you.

I know I'll always love you -- but you're toxic to me. I can't trust you as far as I can throw you -- every word you say is a lie. I've tried to leave you before but I always came back. The last time you said you didn't even miss me because you knew I'd be back.

I won't be back any more. You've wasted years of my time, destroyed my self esteem, tried to Gaslight me with your lies, wounded me with your words, dismissed my concerns, denigrated my feelings: I've finally had enough.

It's been months now since I've been in touch with you. I bet you're still expecting me to come crawling back to you.

I wonder how you'll react when it finally sinks in that this time, I'm gone for good.

Confession #3245

We've been divorced for a little over a year and you married a person that you'd dated for 2 weeks, is way younger than you and who obviously has an agenda, as you aren't that great of a catch. I honestly don't care what you do unless it affects our children and yes, this is affecting our children in a major way, in a bad major way. You cannot expect them to immediately embrace your new wife and her kids, you just can't. You didn't give them time to get to know her and now you expect them to be all happy and The Brady Bunch. It doesn't help that she's being aggressive with the kids and trying to force them to do things they don't want to do and isn't willing to give them time, not that you are. They have a mother and they have siblings, you can't expect them to totally embrace a new family that is being shoved down their throats.

What really kills me is that you are so in loooove and so happy and nothing else matters. That would be fine if you weren't a dad but you are, they should be a priority to you but they aren't. You're too busy being Father of the Year to your wife's kids and my kids are, once again, getting next to nothing from you. How do you think that make them feel?

You told me that you don't want to end up lonely and alone like your dad. The bad news is that you will. She will eventually get what she wants from you and leave you. Your kids won't have anything to do with you or just give you token visits and you will be alone. But, it will all have been of your own doing. You told them that your 2nd marriage was a chance for you to "do things right" and when our daughter asked why you couldn't do things right with/for them, you had no answer other then it was too late for you and me. Yes, it is too late for us and I wouldn't take you back if you were the last man on the face of the earth, but you have these wonderful kids who love you and only want to spend time with you and you can't seem to get that through your thick head. They will eventually stop trying and caring and when they are older, they'll want nothing or next to nothing to do with you, like what happened with your dad. You are in charge of your destiny and it will happen.

It makes me sick to know that you wouldn't touch me unless you wanted sex, you never in over 20 years paid me a genuine compliment and you acted like you not only didn't like me but you didn't love me and were embarrassed by me. You told me that you were attracted to me because of my sense of humor and because I always had fun. What changed? I sure didn't. I'm still the same person but you changed and for the worse. Now, you're all in love and she's so beautiful and you have to be with her 24/7, you do things with her and her kids, things we could never do because we never had the money. It's sad for our kids and sad for me, as you obviously never really loved me and while I do believe you love them, you are so selfish that you can't or don't want to see how your impulsive and selfish actions are affecting them.

Karma is a bitch and she will find you. You will get what you deserve and I will, once again, pick up the pieces so my children won't be hurt by you, once again.

Confession #3246

It is hard to believe I fell in love with such a coward.

Confession #3247

I knew I should have been smarter to listen to other people. I knew it was too soon to marry you, I did it because I thought you were the one and you promised me what I had been looking for in a relationship honesty. I remember your exact same words "I promise that I will always tell you the truth no matter how bad it is, and the reason I say this is because I have been hurt before". I knew I had to marry you, but then I realized you were never in love with me, you were just achieving one of your goals in life, checking that to-do list you always carry around. You thought you could fall in love in the way, and you made me believe you loved me and I could trust you. Since the first lie I caught from you, You have never been able to admitt your mistakes, you make a big fight about it, end up saying me that I am stupid, retarded, inmature you ask me to leave the house, give you back the rings, and today it ended with you hitting me for the first time. This marriage is a charade to make you happy in front of your friends, but when we are alone you shut me out, you are cold and you barely talk to me. Oh but thats right you dont talk to me because you say I'm too stupid to understand. Well then you understand this, I WANT OUT.

Confession #3248

When you yell at our daughter, for no good reason except that you don't like the way she is being a child? I hate you for it.

Confession #3249

We gave each other "hall passes" and I used mine, three days later, with your closest cousin just two days before he baptized our child. I should feel horrible because you and I are still madly in love, but I don't. The thing that I can't stop thinking about was how making love to him was almost exactly like making love to you. You both are eerily similar in bed.

Confession #3250

We've been trying to put things right in our marriage. Years of anger and bitterness, and we were doing all right. Until the night I said I didn't want to have sex. And you insisted. So I said I really didn't want to- maybe in the morning, but not then. And You told me I Had to, that it was my job as a Wife. So, instead of fighting, I lay there while you fucked me. I lay there crying, looking away from you. And you just fucked me until you'd finished and said "thanks" and walked out.

You drove a stake into any heart that was left beating in our marriage right then. There is no future with you. I must plan my escape from you, because nobody deserves to be treated like that.

True Wife Confessions - 39 Steps

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 13:50:00 +0000

Confession #381

I desperately want to trust you, but your lies have made that very hard. I waited for her to come out of work one day, so I could see what she looks like. I even took pictures of her and followed her home, and she never had a clue. She stopped at a liquor store and started drinking before she even got home. I don't know what you see in her. She must have flattered you, because we had a good life together and you selfishly traded it for her. I saw what you wrote to her about me and it has broken my heart. You did nothing to let me know you were unhappy. How unfair of you. I thought we had a wonderful marriage and I have been cheated of it. I know you say you are done, but I can't trust you. I am a stranger in my own life.

Confession #382

You say that I have to get a job now that the kids are in school, and I
want to have a job again, a career. I know that we can't survive
financially without it. However, I've dragged my ass for a year because
I know how it will be, me going to school online full time, working 30
hours a week for shitting wages and maximum hassle, and still taking
care of the kids, house, pets and all the other details of our lives
that you never even think about. You promise that you'll help out more
when I get a job, but you promised that when I went back to school. You
don't even have the first idea how to pick up some of the things I do
around here, and you make no attempt to find out. Every time you talk
about equal rights for women and your feminist mother I laugh on the inside.

Confession #383

You think you are better than me, but you aren't. Really, I can't figure out why you feel that way. I supported you for at least 5 of our 7 years together, even when you were so scared of commitment you wouldn't even call me your girlfriend, much less propose. I paid your mortgage for two years while you slept in my bed in my home with me. You let your mother and your sister emotionally abuse me for years and did nothing to stop them because you didn't want to make waves. You are selfish and you are cruel. I may not be a gorgeous woman, but I deserve a hell of a lot better than this.

Confession #384

I hate that you make me feel like a piece of shit for practically everything I do.

I think it's crazy that if I make a mistake you never let me forget about it and act like it will happen all the time because i'm that stupid. Like the time the mortgage payment got skipped somehow and you then stopped putting money into the account because you wanted to actually write the checks out to pay some of the bills. Yet you still just hand me a pile of money and say here. Well, what the fuck you aren't doing what you say you are going to dick head!! And it was a mistake. You act like you never make mistakes. You are not god.

About money, you lived here for free right down to me paying for your car insurance for 4 years. Then we got married and I got pregnant and you wanted me to stay home yet you only give me $750 a month for the bills and I put in $1500 from my fathers estate. Then you yell at me because I use my credit cards to cover expenses sometimes. Well, what do you expect me to do, pull money out of my ass??

Confession #385

If I'm good enough to make love with you, share my home with you, and look after your children, then I should be good enough to be your wife. I'm too old to be a "girlfriend."

Confession #386

You really are a good man. You have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You're a true family man. Deep down, though, I suspect that no one else would put up with either one of us and our quirkiness. If we were married to other people, I don't think either one of us would have stayed married 15 years. I'm too quick to run my mouth and you're too quick to change your mind about stuff.

Sometimes when I am really hacked off at you, I know I stay with you because you are a good father to our kids. When you set limits with them, it's out of love. If they had a stepfather I'd never let him discipline the kids because I'd never be sure if he was doing it out of jealousy and spite or out of loving concern.

If I could change anything about you at all, it would be this: I wish you were more of a hugger and kisser and hand holder. You're romantic in your own way, but I could use a little more affection. I guess these confessions aren't really new to you. You already know how I feel.

Finally, I do want you to know that I love you and I truly hope you outlive me. I don't ever want to have to mourn you.

Confession #387

I resent a lot of things about you. For instance, I resent the fact that you are able to leave a job because you don't like it and I have to stay at mine even though I hate it. You left a job that was earning you more than enough money because it was "not for you" and took a job making much less. Now I'm stuck making up the difference in incomes at a job I HATE every day. I can't leave like you could because I don't have the person at home working her butt off to give me the leeway, like I did for you. It seems like you always end up being the person who gets to be coddled, and I'm always the one who has to "be strong". I also resent you for not being considerate enough to at least give me a chance to tell you how unhappy I am without you making it into something about YOU. (Maybe it is all about you after all. Maybe you're what's wrong with me.)

Confession #388

I secretly pray that you will cheat on me so I can leave you without being the bad guy to our kids.

Confession #389

We upload our photos to the same photo-storage site, and it disgusts me to see that you take photos of women's asses. Seriously, WTF? You see a woman walk by in tight jeans and you are compelled to take her photo without her permission? You are violating those women's privacy you big fucking pervert. And what creeps me out is that your BioDad does the same damn thing, I know because he uses the photos as his screensavers on his computer! Is this like a genetic compulsion the two of you have? Do the two of you not care at all how it makes your wives feel? Go ahead and look all you want, but don't put those photos in a folder where I can see them. Asshole.

Confession #390

I am scared to death of living the rest of my life without feeling passion, and never being in love. I feel like a friend towards you these days instead of a wife and lover. I feel like I settled for an okay relationship instead of waiting for a great one, simply because I didn't want be alone and because I knew you would never hurt me like the others had. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. You are a good man and you deserve to be loved thoroughly instead of halfheartedly.

You deserve better than me. Because if he came to me right now and said he loved me and wanted to be with me, I would go with him in a heartbeat.

Desperately Seeking...Something Relaunch

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 01:17:00 +0000

So, it has taken me about 6 months more than I anticipated ( and a small fight with google-mail about the account where I store the pictures)

But Desperately Seeking has a new Home.

A Tumblr Blog. New Home, slightly different format - Same old Cock Shots.

Come, join the funny.

True Wife Confessions - 38 Special

noreply@blogger.com (Dawn) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 00:54:00 +0000

Confession #371

When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm

Confession #372

I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.

Confession #373

We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "In
sickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We've
gone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, and
now my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you both
are amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,
you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping us
scrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.

I love you both so much.

And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. And
that hurts more than any physical pain could.

Confession #374

You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,
I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account is
empty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I tell
lies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want to
stop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself to
face the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'll
leave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to get
back to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want this
debt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorry
I've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.

Confession #375

When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.

Confession #376

Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!

Confession #377

I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.

Confession #378

I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.

Confession #379

You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we do
it on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,
now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after I
go back to work and resent me for not giving in.

Confession #380

You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.

You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?

Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!

I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.