Life can be like a roller coaster...

Lol, a very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari

2013-12-13T05:19:00.003-08:00

He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too close and completely tears the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up to take a report.

Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically. His Ferrari, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally winds down from his ranting and raving, the officer shakes his head in disgust.

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "All you care about is money and your possessions."

The lawyer unleashes a stream of obscenities before the officer can calm him down.

"Hear me out...see, you are so worried about your car, you didn't even notice that the accident took off your left arm."

"Oh my god!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha,where's your arm,lawyer?

Salary raise!EPIC

2013-12-06T09:29:00.002-08:00

My maid wanted a salary raise.
I asked for 3 reasons on why she deserved a raise.
Maid: I can cook better than you.
Me: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told Me!
Me: Ok, second reason?
Maid: I can iron Better than you.
Me: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told me.
Me: Ok, and the third reason?
Maid: I am also Better in bed than you! This time I got very mad & was getting ready to break her head. I asked, Did my husband say that?
Maid: No, your driver told me that I'm better in bed than you are.
Me: Please lower your voice. I will increase your salary....

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!

2013-12-04T03:37:00.005-08:00

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Regards,
Your EX-Husband
(P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!)

_________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell & Free!

( P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. )

I am an ultimate trouble maker!

2013-09-15T11:55:00.001-07:00

When you occasionally have a really bad
day and you just need to take it out on
someone, don’t take it out on someone
you know, take it out on someone you
don’t know.
I was sitting in my front room when I
remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A
man answered.
I politely said, ‘Hello, this is David. Could I
please speak with Robyn?’
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my
ear ‘Get the right number!’ and the phone
was slammed down on me.
I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so
rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s
correct number to call her, I found that I
had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to
call the ‘wrong’ number again.
When the same guy answered the phone,
I yelled ‘You’re an asshole!’ and hung up. I
wrote his number down with the word
‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my cell
phone.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him
up and yell, ‘You’re an asshole!’
It always cheered me right up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought
my therapeutic ‘asshole calling’ would
have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, ‘Hi, this
is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to
see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID
Program?’
He yelled ‘NO!’ and slammed down the
phone.
I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s
because you’re an asshole!’
One day I was at the store, getting ready
to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and
pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been
waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored
me. I noticed a ‘For Sale’ sign in his back
window which included his phone
number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling
the first asshole (I had his number on
speed dial) I thought that I’d better call
the BMW asshole, too. I said, ‘Is this the
man with the black BMW for sale?’
‘Yes, it is’, he said.
‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’ I
asked.
‘Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Drive, in Eagle
River. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s
parked right out in front.’
‘What’s your name?’ I asked.
‘My name is Don Hansen,’ he said.
‘When’s a good time to catch you, Don?’
‘I’m home every evening after five.’
‘Listen, Don, can I tell you something?’
‘Yes?’
‘Don, you’re an asshole!’ Then I hung up.
Now, when I had a particularly bad day, I
had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called
Asshole #1.
‘Hello.’
‘You’re an asshole!’ (but I didn’t hang up)
‘Are you still there?’ he asked.
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘Stop calling me!’, he screamed.
‘Make me,’ I said.
‘Who are you?’ he asked.
‘My name is Don Hansen.’
‘Yeah? Where do you live?’
‘I live at 34 Mowbray Drive, Eagle River, a
yellow house, with my black Beamer
parked in front, asshole.’
He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your
prayers.’
I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared,
asshole,’ and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2. ‘Hello?’ he said.
‘Hello, asshole,’ I said.
He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you
are…’
‘You’ll what?’ I said!
‘I’ll kick your ass,’ he exclaimed.
I answered, ‘Well, asshole, here’s your
chance. I’m coming over right now.’
Then I hung up and immediately called
the police, saying that I lived at 34
Mowbray Drive, Eagle River, and that I
was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the
gang war going down in Mowbray Drive,
Eagle River.
I quickly got into my car and headed over
to Mowbray Drive.
I got there just in time to watch two
assholes beating the crap out of each
other in front of six cop cars, an
overhead police helicopter and a news
crew.

The spelling of cow!

2013-09-04T05:43:00.002-07:00

Can you spell "COW" in thirteen letters??
Ans: "SEE O DOUBLE YOU..."

hahahahahahahahahahaha,laugh die me!

Relax!i just want to make you laugh *21

2013-08-28T08:12:00.001-07:00

A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*20

2013-08-23T07:36:00.003-07:00

A man and a woman who had never met before but were both married to other people found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet and get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"i have a better idea," she replied. "just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"wow! that's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"good," she replied. "get your own fucking blanket."

after a moment of silence..........................................................................................................................................................

He farted.
HE FARTED.
HE FARTED.
HE FARTED.

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*19

2013-08-19T08:55:00.001-07:00

Attended the class today and the teacher taught us the new lesson in the class. So the below are the conversation between us and the teacher. Have fun!

Teacher: "Ok class today we are going to learn how to use opposite words in our sentences. For example, 'some people are dying to live'...you see class I used dying and live in the same sentence...so who wants to try one....Jessica?".

Jessica: "Lets turn a negative into a positive".
Teacher: "Very good Jessica, positive and negative, who else ....Hector?"

Hector: "Smile now, Cry later".
Teacher: "That's right Hector, smile and cry....who else wants to give it a shot?....ok you Johnny?

Johnny: "umm....Teacher, you're pretty ugly".

Awwww,You are detention,little boy!

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*18

2013-08-16T09:37:00.002-07:00

Since this is the 18th blog for joke story,how about I post the adult jokes 18+,would you guys like it?

1. A young boy and his grandfather were sitting outside enjoying the summer breeze. The boys grandfather pulled out a cigar, lit it, and puffed away contently. The boy looked at his grandfather and asked if he could take a puff. The grandfather replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" to which the boy responded, "No sir." "Then you are not old enough" the grandfather snapped back.

A few minutes later the grandfather pulled a beer out of his cooler, and took a sip. The boy asked if he could try the beer. The grandfather replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" to which the boy responded, "No sir." Grandpa huffed. "Then you are not old enough." The boy gave up and ran inside the house to go play.

An hour later the boy came outside with a plate of cookies. The grandfather asked the boy, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" Grandpa laughed. "Hell yeah, my dick can touch my ass."

The boy smirked. "Then go fuck yourself, grandma made these cookies for me."

2. He gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.

He arrives at the third house where he is greeted by a gorgeous blonde with see through lingerie on. She leads him upstairs where they make love for an hour. When they're done she takes him downstairs where she cooks him a breakfast of pancakes,eggs and squeezed orange juice. As he's eating she gives him a card with $20 in it.

He's overwhelmed by all this and asks why. The blonde tells him You've been an amazing mailman over the years and when I heard you were retiring I asked my husband what we should do for you. He replied"Fuck him. Give him $20" The Breakfast was my idea.

3.
As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man walked out, waited a few minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?' "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "

And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it..."

4. A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what's wrong, and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife tells him, "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'. Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more."

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"

5. A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied: 'Your Horse is on the phone!!!

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*17

2013-08-14T06:55:00.003-07:00

Since this is the 17th blog for jokes,hereby,I will post up 17 very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very small lifestyle stories and it just only 1 or 2 sentence and most are like the conversation. Its actually happen all the time in our lifestyle,maybe you noticed it maybe you don't.,just read that and see whether you can understand my lifestyle jokes or not. If you could,congratulation, you have a very good observation and crazy time in your lifestyle,just laugh as loud as usual you did because laughing for 10 minutes is good for your abs and muscles,blahahahahahaha.

So,can we start now?

1. One day if you logged in your Facebook and see your mum was in your friend request,you are probably will think inside your heart:

Mom, I really do love you but I can't accept your Facebook friend request.

2. Elementary math problems are weird. Just read the below

"'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now?'

" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE."

3. This is the best breakup line ever: Boy: "Wanna see a magic trick?" Girl: "Sure." Boy: "POOF, you're single!" Boom

4.I think that Facebook should change the status question from "What's on your mind?" to "What's your problem today?"

5.Be nice to your neighbors. They are the only ones who will know the difference between your good scream and your bad scream.

6. Summer Expectations: Going out, partying every night and hangovers. Reality: Stay at home, eating, sleeping, and internet.

7. My cooking skills are so good, the smoke detectors cheer me on.

8. Grandma: ''SHES A DIRTY, DIRTY DANCER''

''Grandma please, remove the barbie from the mud.''=.=

9. *Someone follows you on Twitter* YAY, I gained a follower!

*Someone follows you in real life*FREAKING STALKER!

10. The awkward moment when you're texting in bed and you drop your phone straight onto your face..

11. my mom thinks LOL stands for "Lots Of Love" ....the other day she texted me "Grandma just died. LOL"

12. When you log in your Facebook and check who's online.

Oh shit, LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT!!!

"Hey what's up?

" Damn!

13. "I make it rain, I make it rain."

"Grandma please! Just water the flowers!"

14. Want some1 to stop texting u? send them this text : SERVICE ERROR 305: MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED2 UR ACCOUNT.

15. Teacher: Imagine you were in a world of dinosaurs about to eat you. What would you do? Student: Easy, stop imagining..

16. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" "Aw, you remember my birthday!" "No, Facebook told me."

17. My favorite text message: "I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again.

That's all,there are the 17 jokes always happen in the life,admit that how many jokes you made,be hones ya.

--The End--

How the fight started in between a man and a woman

2013-08-13T06:32:00.006-07:00

The below a few scenario how and when the fight started in a house~~Enjoy reading

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.

--The End--

How Great Is our God

2013-01-08T04:21:00.000-08:00

I am watching a youtube video and it touch my heart so much. I can't watch this without getting flooded with God' s power. It's such an amazing thing to see how many people are in his arms.

"Dear my Lord, I know,I has no any right to deserve your love yet you love me,I thank you Lord that you never stop to love no matter what you always there.

Also,I'm sorry my dear Lord. I know I'm sinned,and I sorry what I had done in the past, I want to be more like you,my God.I want to stand for you. I will not be alone in this world. I know You will made a way when there seems no way in front me.I would like to shout to all the world that how great is my God,how awesome is my Lord,your faithful love endures forever.Thank you Lord,thank you for everything you done onto me and my friends too.Listen my prayer,Amen."

I pray to my Lord. He always touch my heart,and HE is really good and awesome!Life is meaningless without Him.Indeed,it is.

Anyway,it's kinda awesome if we all can sing how great is our God with our mother language,aren't?
It's beautiful how they worship to God in different language.Let's us praise our God with our heart!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-ZtKzw-ipo

Hereby to attach the lyric of this song,enjoy and all to glory to Him,Amen!

Hindi:
Aaahhhh…

English:
He splendor of a king
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice

Indonesian:
Terangnya bersinar
Keglapan t'lah sirna
Sujudlah pada-Nya, sujudlah pada-Nya

Russian:
Nash Bog Tak Velik
Poi tso Mnoi
Nash Bog Tak Velik
Pust vidyat vse
Nash Bog, Nash Bog, Tak Velik

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

Spanish:
Los tres en uno son
 La santa trinidad 
Cordero y el león
 Cordero y el león 

Portuguese:
Cuan grande es Dios 
Y todos lo verán 
Cuan grande es Dios

Zulu choir:
Name above all names,
Nkosi yamakhosi, Baba (King of all Kings, Father)
Worthy of our praise
Sithi uyingcwele, Baba (We say you are Holy, Father)
My heart will sing, how great is our God
You are the name above all names
Somandla Somandla (Almighty, Almighty)
You are worthy of our praise
Somandla Somandla (Almighty, Almighty)
My heart will sing, how great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, How great is our God
How great is our God, How great is our God
How great is our God, How great is our God
How great, How great is our God

Mandarin:
我神真伟大歌颂你圣名真伟大 
全地都看见我神真伟大

Lastly,LIFE IS AWESOME WHEN YOU PUT YOUR RELIGION INSIDE YOUR LIFE.

By:
Esther

Marrying a Chartered Accountant :D

2013-01-08T03:49:00.003-08:00

Ohya,seems like over a year didn't update the blog and I saw many dust here.
Anyway,I found some interesting article in Facebook and it's REASONABLE BUT NOT AT ALL.
Here you are.Enjoy to read it=)

When I told my mom that I wanted a professional woman as my wife, she got me one; a Chartered Accountant.

She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food.

She thinks I am no good at figure work. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house.

Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she asks for the money in advance.

The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.

No wonder! She was charging conveyance and overtime to the house budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me.

"No my darling, I am the auditor."

I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed.

She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing for at least ten years before destroying it.

I am worried. The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she had charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put down as unoccupied.

She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. However, she never believes me.

She says that there is susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my representation on this & Expert opinion of some Expert!

Not a long time back my brother's wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had been sent. After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters.

I was puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence was more reliable.

She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were sent. When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe.

Where the recipe says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of water, she ignores them.

She says that they are not material when taken in context of whole meal being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you.

Surprisingly everybody calls her an auditor, instead. I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a synonym for crazy.

The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me an Engagement Letter and I Had said how cute-how sweet.

Now she gives it to me every year saying that her standards state that it must be sent anew if there is any indication that I have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement.

Huh! Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can't get rid off her just like that.

She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint some one else.

It seems I must keep reading one local and another English newspaper published and circulated in the vicinity of our house for more details.

Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern status.

Duh! Dare I say so?? I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA.

Apparently he capitalised the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing it off every year.

Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still under consideration for valuation under IAS-38...valuation of intangible assets.

So guys please think twice....should u really marry a CA? And yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the risk of doing so !!! :D :D

Just want to share something 1

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most 'n adored him with rich robes 'n treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much 'n was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant 'n was always kind, considerate 'n patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, 'n he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner 'n had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth 'n kingdom. However, she d id not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill 'n she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life 'n wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing 'n showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me 'n keep me company?'

'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, 'n he walked away without another word..

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me 'n keep me company?'

'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!'

Her heart sank 'n turned cold.

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always

turned to you for help 'n you've always been there for me.

When I die, will you follow me 'n keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, 'n the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go..'

The girl looked up, 'n there was his first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition 'n neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time 'n effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status 'n wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family 'n friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

'n your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power 'n pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go.Cultivate, strengthen 'n cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God 'n continue with you throughout Eternity.

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*16

2011-09-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

READ THIS:
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with bob and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and bob said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. bob taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so bob can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter,
Jessy...

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home....

Maybe next time,i'll do this if I failed my exam...To mom,I'm sorry because make you disappointed but.....I don't wish to make you angry,so I wrote this to you....Perhaps you won't feel sooooooooo angry comparing to the situation above...Do you?=D

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*15

2011-09-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

we go to school, to attend CLASS.
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.

at home, we have to STUDY.
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.
... ... ... ...
in class, we're given HOMEWORK.
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

while doing homework, we refer to TEXTBOOK.
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK =D

Agree?

I found something great

2011-07-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

By Esther

few days ago,i found a great song

is a Christian song actually

what so special of this song?

haha

not only the melody but this song is having a great lyric~

this Christian song is "Beautiful One"

what a beautiful song

make me cheers when i need some motivation

its make my days amazing

because..............

actually all i want to say is inside the lyric:

Wonderful so wonderful is Your unfailing love
Your cross is spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can fully know
How glorious, how beautiful You are

Chorus:
Beautiful one I love
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing

Powerful so powerful Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see
The beauty of Your majesty awakes my heart to sing
How marvelous, how wonderful You are

Chorus(x2)

You opened my eyes to Your wonders of anew
You captured my heart with this love
‘Cause nothing on earth is as beautiful as You

Jesus

You opened my eyes to your wonders of anew
You captured my heart with this love
‘Cause nothing on earth is as beautiful as You

Chorus(x3)

My soul, My soul must sing (x3)
Beautiful one x2

see,all my feeling,all my expression and everything

is inside this song~

cheers

My soul not only will sing

but must sing

how beautiful You are

My Lord=)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnRZBGLeP08&feature=related (the song and the video of "Beautiful One",hope you can visit and listen it,enjoy)

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*14

2011-07-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

Hi,is my turn today, the topic will be "testimony" and the main character is me---Esther,please enjoy yourself and feel free to comment or laugh..jkjkjk

Ready? 1,2,3 and read!

1. Esther, our sales marketing manager can always be found

2. Hard at work in and out of her office. Esther works independently without

3. wasting company time in the mamak stalls. She never

4. thinks twice about helping fellow employees, and she always

5. finishes assignments on time. Often, she takes extended

6. measures to complete her work, sometimes skipping lunch

7. breaks. She is an employee who has absolutely no

8. vanity, in spite of her accomplishments and profound

9. knowledge and experience in her field. I firmly believe that Esther can be

10. classed as an exemplary employee, the type who cannot be

11. dispensed with. As such I duly recommend that Esther be

12. promoted to Managing Director, and a proposal will be

13. executed as soon as possible.

(please re-read only the odd numbered lines)

if you want to laugh,please laugh,because i just want to make you laugh~ (what a great main title of the blog by the wayXD)

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*13

2011-06-10T05:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah,we're coming back...today we would like to present a story which is called as" Ghostwriter with his Boss". Enjoy it as well^^

The CEO rose from the ranks, and he was not really well versed in speaking English. He was scheduled to speak at an important lunch-time meeting. He asked his ghostwriter, who was one of his employees, to write him a punchy 20 minute speech.

When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. “What’s the idea of writing me an hour long speech?” he demanded to know. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”

The employee was baffled. “I wrote you a 20 minute speech.” He replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for!”

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*12

2011-06-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

In business world,there have many way to promote your product or the way you attract the consumer to buy your product,and today i want to see how the Marketing skill work in relationship,read it! hope you are enjoying and laughing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say. “I am very rich. Will you marry me?” that’s Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes to her and pointing at you says, “He’s very rich. Marry him!” that’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and obtain her telephone number. The next day, you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me!” that’s Telemarketing.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a lift home and say, “By the way, I’m very rich. Will you marry me?” that’s Public Relations.

You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, “You’re very handsome and rich.” That’s Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m very rich. Marry me!” she gives you a nice hard slap on the face that’s Customer Feedback.

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*11

2011-05-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Lawyer in trouble

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much drink, and on his way home he hit the back side of a car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said. “Boy, are you in trouble! I’m a lawyer.”

The drive looked out of his window and said, “No, you are in trouble. I’m a judge.”

PS:LOLZZZZZ

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*10

2011-05-28T05:54:00.001-07:00

ASAP

The interviewer examined the job application, and then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning “As Soon As Possible”, of course. However, I see you’ve put AMAP down for expected salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before. What does it mean?” the applicant replies, “As Much As Possible!”

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*9

2011-05-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

Today, the topic is"Round trip ticket"...enjoy to read it^^

Traveler: I’d like a round trip ticket to Pulau Pangkor.

Salesgirl: I’m sorry, all our tickets are rectangular!

(ps: it's reasonable,isn't?XD)

Relax!I just want to make you laugh*8

2011-05-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

OK,sorry for the past few week, i was busying to my exam, and now I'm busying for my competition. So i might seldom to come up to update my blog, I'm sorry for that but i promise it just the temporarily.

Anyway, today my topic is "Japanese tourist" which is the story between the taxi driver with Japanese tourist. Enjoy it as well=)

The story is starting with a Japanese tourist hailed a taxi at Ampang Point and asked to be taken to KLIA. On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, “Oh, Toyota! Made in Japan. Very fast!”

Not too long after, another car flew by the taxi. “Oh, Nissan! Made in Japan. Very fast!”

Yet another car zipped by. “Oh, Mitsubishi! Made in Japan. Very fast!”

The taxi driver, complete 100% Malaysian, was starting to get a little irritated that the Japanese-made cars were passing hie proton saga when yet another car passed his cab right as they were turning into the airport. “Oh, Honda! Made in Japan. Very fast!”

The taxi driver arrived at the airport and pointed to the meter and said, “RM120!”

“ Rm120? Why so much?” the Japanese asked.

“taxi meter! Made in Japan. very fast!”

Relax!i just want to make you laugh*7

2011-04-25T18:02:00.001-07:00

I just realize that being doctor have 1 advantage and it is CONVENIENCE,how to say? nah,just read the below text, you will understand what i'm saying about, and today title is " Kaki mahjung"

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for mahjung.” Said the friend.

“I’ll be right over.” Whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his pants his wife asked, “Is it serious?”

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are 3 doctors there already.

See,this is the advantage of being doctor, any doctor can use this excuse to do everything they want~