The Mom Project

New Luck in the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 23:52:00 +0000

I am not a superstitious person by nature, but we've had some bad luck as of late and it got me curious - What are some New Year's traditions that ring in good luck for the coming year? Because I'll tell you what, if it's reasonable and affordable, I just might do it. Please leave me a comment or send me a message about your favorite New Year's traditions!

Before the Stroke of Midnight

Resolutions - Sounds easy, right? We always make our New Year's resolutions, but this year, why not try keeping them?

Clean House - It's good luck to start the year off with a clean house. Think of it as a fresh start.

Shoot Off Fireworks - In fact make a lot of noise to chase off any evil spirits lurking around in the current year. Start the new year fresh and evil spirit free.

Kiss at Midnight - This is a symbol of your relationship. It will bring good luck to you in the coming year.

Wear Colorful Underwear - Wearing brightly colored underwear, especially red, is meant to bring in love and good fortune.

Drink Your Wishes - In Russia, it is tradition to write down your wishes, burn them, toss them in a glass of champagne and drink them before it is one minute past midnight.

Courtesy pixabay.com

After Twelve (mostly gorging yourself on good food)

12 Grapes - Eating 12 grape represents each month of the year and will bring you good luck.

Pork - Have you heard the expression, "Living high on the hog"? Well, eat some pork at New Year's and find out what it's all about.

Black-Eyed Peas - The story goes, during the Civil War, soldiers were cut-off from their food supply throughout a long winter and had to resort to eating what cattle grazed on - "cow peas". Now, whether you call that resourcefulness or luck, superstitious folk turned that into a New Year's tradition and voila!

Greens - If you really stretch your imagination, greens look like folded money. So eat your greens (or any green veggie) for prosperity in the new year.

Corn Bread - What represents gold better than corn? Eat some corn bread for New Year's to bring good fortune. Toss in actual corn to represent gold nuggets.

Hoppin' John - Now that you have your pork, peas, greens and corn bread, you can make this traditional Southern dish. Just add rice and eat for good luck.

Lentils - Eat this coin-shaped food to help ring in the new year with prosperity. Pair it with a pork dish to be sure you will be living high on the hog!

Noodles - Slurp up your long noodles for a long life. Be sure not to cut or chew them!

Cake - Bake a coin into a cake. The person who receives the coin with have good fortune in the new year. Just warn everyone first. You don't want anyone biting down on a coin! That's bad luck.

Ring-Shaped Foods - Ring-shaped foods represent coming full circle. So enjoy those donuts, onion rings, and pretzels.

Courtesy pixabay.com

Odd Ball Traditions

Make sure a tall, dark and handsome man is the first person to enter your household in the new year. This Scottish tradition is called "first footing". This man will bring you good luck. Keep your fair-haired friends waiting outside, they will only bring you misfortune. Sorry guys.

Some believe it is bad luck to let anything leave your house on January 1st. Even the trash!

Also, take a break from all that housework. It can wait till January 2nd at the earliest. You're welcome.

Out the Window - Some cultures believe in throwing broken things (including furniture) out the window! This Italian and South African tradition not only sounds cathartic, but kind of fun! Just make sure you warn your neighbors. It really is "out with the old and in with the new".

Cement Your Friendships - How would you like to throw dishes on your friends' front doors to show them just how much you love them? That's one Danish tradition that might show you just how popular you are.

Travel Hopes - If you're hoping to travel next year, why not start with taking a walk around the block with an empty suitcase? It's a tradition in Columbia - true story!

Foul Fowl -Do NOT eat chicken or turkey! They scratch backward and you don't ever want to look backward, only forward.

For Abundance - If you want a prosperous new year, stock up on food and money. I have a feeling one of those is easier than the other...

Paint it Black, errr Red - In China, people paint their doors red as a symbol of happiness and good fortune. Makes me think of the Rolling Stones...

Courtesy pixabay.com

This year, I will be preparing a pot of black-eyed peas and possibly some corn bread. I have to tell you honestly that I already have some drumsticks cooking in the oven so, hopefully that whole "don't eat chicken" thing doesn't count for New Year's Eve, only for the first of the year. And I did buy some donuts to enjoy in the morning. Now if only I could find my red underwear...

Let's Talk About Sex in Songs...

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 30 Aug 2017 17:34:00 +0000

I think I have reached the ripe old age of whatever it was that my parents started cringing at the songs that were on the radio. However, gone are the seemingly innocent days and sultry sounds of Marvin Gaye as we welcome a new era of pop songs with dance beats and hidden meanings. That's not to say that lyricists didn't hide innuendos in songs 20, 30, and 40 plus years ago. Sex has always been a topic of interest in the human mind. Maybe it's just that I didn't notice it as much before the words started coming out of my teen daughters' mouths. Somehow, songs lose their luster when heard that way.

One of the most popular songs in 2015 was "Cake on the Ocean" by DNCE. I think it has a catchy chorus. In fact, the chorus is all I know and when the song comes on it's all I sing. I have a habit of blasting iHeart Radio or Pandora when I'm cooking, cleaning, or writing. Often my daughters will take over and choose their favorite stations when they tire of mine. One day, my eldest daughter and her best friend (both 14 years old) and my youngest daughter (12 years old) were hanging in the living room with me when "Cake by the Ocean" came on. I sang along. Hilarity ensued.

My daughter and her best friend melted in a fit of giggles. "Don't you know what that song is about?" Of course I do. It's about eating cake by the ocean. Who doesn't like that? To tell the truth, I've lived within driving distance of the Gulf Coast my whole life and I have not once eaten cake by the ocean. Sandwiches, chips, beer... Yes. Cake. No. It was then I was informed that this song was about sex by the ocean. What? That never occurred to me. In fact, that sounds down right uncomfortable.

So here are the facts. The songwriters say it could be about sex or it could be about cake. It started about a misunderstanding about the drink Sex on the Beach. So, I guess the song could literally be about eating cake by the ocean or sex on the beach. Either way it is filled with titillating lyrics like, "See you licking frosting from your own hands/Want another taste, I'm begging you, yes ma'am". You be the judge...

Added with permission from Pixabay.com

I don't know very much Spanish but I know enough to understand that "Despacito" (2016) by Luis Fonsi Featuring Daddy Yankee and Justin Bieber is sensual. The word despacito translates to slowly so that right there should tell you something. There's not many things in life you sing about doing slowly. It's not about going to school or doing taxes, I can tell you that. I had a false sense of security for a short while. Then I discovered that my 14-year-old translated the lyrics and memorized the Spanish words to the song. It's poppy and she's industrious - what else would she do?

The one that got to me was my 12-year-old singing, "If you wanna a menage I got a tricycle," from Ariana Grande's "Side to Side" (2016). I think back and wonder if this is any worse than me singing the lyrics to "Love in an Elevator" (Aerosmith 1989) or "I Want Your Sex" (George Michael 1987). And the answer is YES! Because it's my kid doing it! I asked her if she knew what she was saying and thankfully she didn't. However, the 14-year-old did. Oh, man. Not to mention the song itself is about having so much sex you can't even walk straight!Oh, Ariana...

There is still some innocence in this story. Bruno Mars has a song titled "Versace on the Floor" (2016). The first time I heard it with my kids in the car I waited to see if they could catch the meaning of the song. I asked if they knew what Versace was. My youngest daughter said it was a man (partially true) and my eldest daughter said it was a sauce. You wouldn't believe how hard I laughed at that. At least they haven't learned everything they need to know about the birds and the bees just yet. I think I'll just let them keep thinking it's about a man covered with sauce lying on the floor. Works for me.

Added with permission from Pixabay.com

It is hard to think about songs that are not about love in some way. Sensual love, erotic love, true love, romantic love, one-night stands, broken hearts, friendship, looking for love, etc. Mix in a catchy tune and it's hard not to sing along. Add censorship, a la the PMRC, and conditions are ripe for finding creative ways for expression. It makes taboo subjects even more exciting. My 12-year-old told me this morning that she hoped the advice I give was to tell people to keep an open mind and to just talk to their kids about what they hear. I think the best advice I can give is to listen to our kids.

I would love to hear your stories about misheard lyrics, awkward moments about songs or anything else you can think of that has to do with music - especially if it has to do with parenting. Comment below, tweet me, or send me a message! I'll be sure to reply.

Boys and Pimples and Hair! Oh, My!

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 15:02:00 +0000

It's amazing how much has changed from one school year to the next. This year I am officially the mother of a high schooler! I know, scary, right? This year all of my children are in three different schools. This will never happen again. I have one in high school, one in middle school and one in elementary school. And I couldn't be prouder of all three of my little snowflakes.

My son started marching band in high school. He is officially taller than me now by at least a couple of inches. In fact I have started feeling a little awkward reaching up to hug him. What happened? He was always in top band in middle school, and now, in high school, he is also in the top band as an incoming freshman! Quite an accomplishment for my little man. And a little man is definitely what he is becoming. He has started to get all the mood swings typical with being a teenager. It is exhausting to stay on top of it, but I tell you now that it is well worth it. My son is still respectful, polite, happy, funny and charming. Most days. He still has his dark side. Like all kids, he is still pushing his limits and trying to see what he can get away with, which isn't much. And like all kids, learning to drive is most prevalent in his mind. Eek!

My eldest daughter started seventh grade this year, so this isn't her first rodeo. She is coming very close to passing me up on the height scale, too, but I should point out that it isn't very hard to do. This year she was much more concerned about her hair. Oh, her precious hair! This summer she wanted to dye it blue and we tried to do it with Kool-Aid but her hair is very dark and it didn't show up very well. Then we tried it with a temporary hair color and it still didn't show up very well. Now she wants to just dye her hair a different, but normal hair color. I keep trying to explain to her that with dark hair there is only so much we can do. So right now we're settling on straightening her wavy locks each morning before school. Today's freak out was over a tiny little pimple on her forehead. I didn't even see it until she pointed it out, but apparently it was huge! Like, gigantic! At least she's not chasing boys. More like she's busy bossing them around. She doesn't put up with much BS from anyone anymore, not since learning the hard way what makes a good friend. She leaves chasing the boys to my youngest.

My youngest is in her last year of elementary school and couldn't be in more of a hurry to grow up. She frequently has conversations with her BFF about which boys they have crushes on (tee hee) and which boys are just gross (blech). She has most recently taken to stealing her older sister's sports bras and wearing them to school, much to big sis' displeasure, because, you know, she doesn't even need them. But as I have to remind big sis, the whole reason she has the sports bras to begin with was because she was so desperate to wear a bra just like all her little friends were. And that is just what my youngest is doing. As to the boys? I finally had a sit down with my baby girl about chasing boys. We reached an understanding that boys can wait, education is her main priority right now. Let's hope she keeps that in mind for a very long time.

I'm excited for this year. I am very involved in my son's band program. I was in band and loved it. I'm looking forward to my oldest daughter's choir concerts. My youngest daughter is usually pretty involved with student council and might be again this year, we'll have to wait and see. I hope all of you have a fantastic school year!

Car Trouble in Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 25 Jun 2015 00:31:00 +0000

Before this story even begins, it must be perfectly understood that we were down to one working car for the time being. My husband's car, a completely paid off Toyota, was in the shop getting a new transmission. So he was bumming rides to and from work while I was on vacation with the kids in not-so-sunny Galveston in the not-so-paid off Honda....

Now the story begins...

The week that "historic" Tropical Storm Bill was to make landfall on the Texas gulf coast I was in fact on the Texas gulf coast. No, I'm not crazy. I'm a local. It was the week of my mom's birthday and we were celebrating it, as we always do, in Galveston. A little rain wasn't going to scare us off.

On the way to their beach house, a little light came on on the dashboard in my Honda. I didn't think much of it, other than the fact that I should probably get it checked out before Bill made landfall. So I went about my way. I made it safely to my parents' little hideaway and didn't have cause to start the car again until the next day.

I was secretly hoping that this would be one of those cases of the disappearing dash lights. You know, when it comes on for no good reason and then disappears for no good reason, too. But alas, it was not meant to be. The darn thing was still on. So we went to the beach.

And that was one of the best times I have had at the beach in a long time. The waves were choppy and rough and perfect for playing in with my daughters. My son was being a bum and chose not to go. Ever since last month when his teen-aged hormones dictated that he is (and I quote), "not a beach person." It was truly his loss. I think the water even seemed a little clearer that day. I know that the chief complaint about our part of the gulf is its murky brown color, but I still love it. The tide was high, the water was cool and we beat the storm.

When I returned to the house I decided to take the car in to Autozone for a free check out before the rain really started. At this point we had only been subjected to a few very brief showers. My son and my oldest daughter volunteered to keep me company and we made our way through crowded, lunch-time streets to Autozone.

They were super friendly and I wish I could remember their names, but at any rate, they didn't judge me on my lack of car expertise. The woman in the shop came out and ran the check engine test on my car. Nothing. No codes. My car was in tip top shape. Turns out that when the light that comes on on your dash looks like a battery, it's the "It's Your Battery Dumb Ass" light and not the "Check Engine" light. Oops.

I thanked her kindly and promised to get a new battery as soon as I got back home.

But the cards were stacked against me. I got back in the car, with my two lovely children, and click. Click. CLICK. I got nothing. The battery died in the parking lot of the Autozone. I guess it was meant to be. So in I marched, kids in tow, again, and this time I bought a battery.

We had to wait a really long time to have it installed because the gentleman that installed it couldn't leave the lady alone in the store with a bunch of customers. And wouldn't you know it? That seems to be when they hit their rush hour. For close to an hour the kids and I sat in the parking lot and waited. But once it was finally done it seemed as though it was all tip top shape. Right? Wrong. The gentleman helping me ran a final check on the battery and oh, so apologetically informs me that it's not the battery that's the problem, it's my alternator.

But will I make it home to the Houston area?

You should.

Great. That's all I need to know.

So I go back home to the beach house and we get rained on by Bill. Actually we spent most of it out on the porch, drinking and visiting. The rain was only a nuisance at night when it was heaviest and the wind kept waking me up.

Six months ago I had made a commitment to my long time friend, Ed Vela, who coaxed me out of retirement for one night only to appear on stage as part of a workshop. So I had to come back in town on Wednesday to help him out with that. Between talks with my husband and friends we had come up a first, second, third, contingency and back-up plan to get me back home. I had also secured a ride to the theater that night (once I made it home) to further lessen the need to drive. Wednesday morning rolls around and by 8:45 I am off.

My mom follows me to a gas station where I top off my tank. It would suck to get almost all the way home with a bad alternator just to run out of gas. Then I kiss her good-bye and we part ways. I'm driving and I'm driving. No radio, a/c, lights, nothing. Then I hit a red light. My hands are literally shaking I am so nervous. But I make it through that light. On to the next one. Each light it seems that my poor car is struggling more and more to get through the idling. Finally I think that it's going to die. I'm in the left lane (because I-45 is a left exit) so I get in the left turn lane to turn into a parking lot and that's where I die.

It won't start. No lights. No nothing.

I put on my big panties and call my husband, Victor. But as soon as I hear his voice - waterworks. He keeps asking me if I'm okay but I'm crying so hard that I can't answer. Finally I manage to get out, "I.. can't... get... off... the... island." He works his magic and gets me to calm down despite the asshole behind me, blaring his horn, refusing to go around. He reminds me of what I'm supposed to do next and gets me to do it one deep breath at a time.

Call roadside assistance from the number on the back of my license, call our friend Jeremy to come have me towed and call my mom to come keep me company. Roadside assistance gives me the number of Galveston Police Department and Jeremy and my mom are on their way. I flip on the hazards (even though everything is dead) and leave the car where it is. I go across to the parking lot, because if someone hits me from behind I don't want to get hurt. That's where I sit on a bench with the homeless people. They ignored me but I was very chatty and I think one of them was a woman.

I keep calling GPD but their number was eternally busy. Finally I see a cruiser passing by and try to flag him down. He pulls up behind my poor car, whose hazard lights have magically started working. I'm shouting at him, "That's my car!" He nods and says that he saw me. He waves me over to his side of the street where I tell him my whole story, big girls panties barely hanging on. He says I did everything right but that I had the wrong number for the police department. Guess I should have Googled it. And then we push my car to the parking lot I had been aiming for the whole time. I gave Officer Shepherd a give hug and thanked him profusely.

By now, my mom has witnessed me acting a fool in front of the GPD, seen me get stranded and had to leave the kids home alone, so she took me to breakfast and window shopping while we waited for my friend. When Jeremy got there, she was able to go back to the house to reassure the kids I was in good hands.

Jeremy was able to help me out by getting me towed back to Houston and take me home. At first the tow truck was coming at 12:05. Then it was 1:05. Then it finally came at :1:40. We finally left Galveston around 2:00. I had to be back by 4:00 to go to the theater. I got home at 3:40. Jeremy is my hero.

Victor got a ride home that night but we were without my car for another 24 hours. I never made it back to the coast to finish out my vacation. But the kids got to spend extra alone time with my parents. Planned or unplanned, those are memories that they will always have.

And we did eventually get our other car back, too. First world problems, I know. But it was still quite a little adventure. One I don't plan on repeating...

A Second Open Letter to my HOA

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 04 Jun 2015 15:38:00 +0000

Dear Settler's Village HOA,

I wrote to you last year thanking you for the superb work going on at the neighborhood pool. You must have gotten the message because you decided to extend the construction late into this year as well. By now, I know that we are going to be getting a brand new pool, but you pulled out all the stops and surprised us all by tearing down the existing clubhouse, filling in the old pool and chopping down many of those offensive shade trees.

That old clubhouse must have been completely in the wrong place, as well structurally unsound. Not only did JR. D Construction completely remove any sign of the old one, they built a brand new one in a totally different location, requiring all brand new plumbing to be run and the need to cut down some of those pesky shade trees. I'm sure they would have fallen down eventually anyway in the next category 4 hurricane. And since we'll be spending all our time swimming (eventually, maybe, one day) or playing at the park, my family will never fully get to appreciate the game room you just spent the better part of a year building anyway. But we will use the brand new, state of the art bathrooms. They are state of the art, right? So thank you.

Last summer when you filled in the old pool I admit I was a little perturbed. And when you said it was going to take two weeks for the ground to settle before you could break ground on a new pool I was even more confused. And when those two weeks turned out to be more like two months I finally just assumed you know what you were doing because I was done trying to figure it out. And here we are a full year later and you are still working on the pool.

I think.

You built the brand new clubhouse street-side and no one can see what what is going on behind it. So other than the occasional "bang-bang" and a worker popping his head around the corner, you would never know that anything is going on back there. Once upon a time, you said the pool would be ready this June. Well, now it's June you are telling me July so I'm going to start checking my mail box every day for my pool tag information. Unless you want to let everyone in, willy-nilly, which I don't think you should do because I paid my dues to not use my pool last year, and they got to not use the pool for free. I demand preferential treatment when it comes to not using the pool again this year.

So thank you again to my HOA for making decisions for us that I'm sure made sense on paper, but are kinda stupid in reality. And thank you again for the lag in communication. And for making ridiculous promises. And for, well, literally nothing else.

Sincerely,
A Fish Out of Water

Finding Good Healthcare

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Tue, 28 Apr 2015 19:59:00 +0000

I hate it when my kids get sick. And not for the usual reasons - the whining, the crying, the demands. And that's just from my husband, whom I think has a harder time dealing with sick kids than the actual ailing children. (Sorry, babe, but you know it's true. I still love you!) No, the problem we have when the kids fall ill is finding adequate healthcare.

I'm not sure if it is just part of our American culture - this desire to have everything right away, everything at our fingertips - or truly just a parent's need to care for their kids, but when it comes to our healthcare system, well, it sucks and always lets us down. I suppose we don't really have anyone to blame but ourselves but when it comes to actually trying to get well, we have done nothing but make it more difficult on ourselves.

Friday afternoon my oldest daughter came home sick with a really bad headache. I was concerned she had her first migraine, considering they run in the family, but after getting her home and making her comfortable I determined it was just a really bad sinus headache. My husband was concerned it may be the beginnings of a sinus infection and asked me to take her in to see a doctor. I disagreed with his opinion but went ahead anyway. That's marriage, right?

I arrived at a Walgreens Healthcare Clinic shortly after noon that day. I started to sign in for an appointment, because they only accept walk-ins, and a woman appeared from a doorway and told me to come after 2 because they were no longer accepting patients for the morning and they were going to lunch from 1 to 2. There was no "Hi", "Hello", "I'm sorry, but..." I replied that a sign would be nice so patients would know to seek medical attention elsewhere.

Now, I guess I can see how perhaps I was not as polite a customer as I could have been. However, whatever happened to the "customer is always right" mantra? I was polite, if a bit sarcastic, and was already walking away. But here I was with a kid sick, who was missing school, I was missing work (sort of) and I was trying to sign in to receive healthcare and all I hear is, "Come back later." So, yeah, a sign would have been nice. This conversation should have stopped there. But the young woman who told me to go away continued it. She said, "Regardless, you need to come back after 2."

So now I'm feeling that I don't really want your service anyway. I replied, "Well, regardless you should really post a sign somewhere," and continued to leave. She tried to get the last word in and called after me that their lunch hours were posted on the website. "No. They aren't," I replied with complete confidence and left.

And they are not. Walgreens #4696 states on its site "Walk-in always welcome! We may stop accepting new patients before closing due to high patient volume. The clinic closes for 1 hr M-F and 45 Sat-Sun. Times may vary." So I think there might be a flaw in your system. Plus a sign might still be nice.

The next closest Walgreens clinic happens to be one that accepts appointments. But they were full for the day. Of course. So we decided to come home and old-school it. Ibuprofen, Benadryl and a nap. And if she was feeling better we were going to go to Galveston for the weekend (which we did and had a spectacular time).

On Sunday, both of my daughters began to complain about ear pain. Great. We had just spent a fabulous weekend in Galveston, having a little fun in the sun, and now my two best girls were feeling under the weather. What was a mother to do?

Monday morning rolled around and we decided to keep them home from school. We also tried (again) to get them into a doctor. This time we tried the MediStop Clinic down the road from our house and a CVS Minute Clinic.

The MediStop Clinic was supposed to open at 9 am. We arrived at 9:05. It was closed.

So we drove down to the CVS Minute Clinic. We signed into their system and discovered that we would have about an hour and a half wait. We had to leave, though, because I had a cardiologist appointment that day, too, and couldn't be two places at one time. Sorry about that. The flaw in their system is that we couldn't find a way to cancel the appointment once it was made. We drove by the MediStop Clinic on the way home, hoping maybe, just maybe, it was open and they could squeeze the girls in. But no. They never even opened their doors and by now it was at least 10 am. So I obviously don't recommend going there.

We spent yesterday feeding the girls over the counter drugs, teaching them how to swallow pills for the first time and praying they would be well enough to go to school today. No such luck.

Today I sucked it up, went to a different CVS, because I stood the other guys up and didn't want to be recognized, and waited at the store for the full hour and a half for our appointment. What was the verdict you ask? One kid has an ear infection and the other is suffering from seasonal allergies. Well, at least they'll be better soon.

Through all of this I'm sure you're asking, "Why didn't she just go to her regular doctor?" Well, I'll tell you why not. Because the family practitioner we used to go to now only practices in Houston. And I'm not going to drive an hour to get to his office only to wait another hour or two just to see him for ten minutes and then drive an hour home. The one before that is no longer on our insurance. Thanks United! Another great decision you made on our behalf! And as much as I absolutely adore my pediatrician, I can never get a same day appointment with her anymore, she is that much in demand. We've been with her for 14 years and she has never steered us wrong, but it is so hard to get in to see her anymore.

I think that's the worst part of all of this. I love my regular doctors. Well, I used to, before I could no longer see them. So now not only am I stuck with only going to these stand alone clinics, I am stuck with crappy customer service, long waits, closed offices and unreliable hours to go along with them. And all for what? Because we wanted convenience at the tips of our fingers? Well, we got it! There are clinics everywhere offering fast, affordable and easy healthcare. But has any of this sounded very convenient to you?

Kids and Their Gadgets

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:34:00 +0000

Last night, my son had the opportunity to perform in a short concert with the top band in the high school he is matriculating to next year. So naturally I was there to cheer my baby on. Whenever I go to one of my children's performances, I expect to hear a fantastic production and I have never been disappointed. What I don't expect, however, is to see a four year old with a pair of Beats headphones and his own mini iPad roaming the aisles.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but these tablets still retail for a couple hundred bucks. Not to mention that a pair of Beats headphones are at least $150. So this mother was trusting her four year old with up to $500 worth of equipment. I don't even trust my 14 year old with that much.

I honestly don't know what is happening to people that they feel they can't get their children to sit through a 30 minute concert without resorting to placating them with phones, tablets, handheld games, mp3 players... Wait. Mp3 players? At a concert? Where the music is being provided for you?

If that's not bad enough, parents are allowing children to take their phones under the guise of snapping photos of their siblings, but in reality they are running amok in the auditorium with other like-minded children. And no one, but me, the mean, nasty, ill-tempered, evil mother who just wants to hear her child perform, will tell these kids to kindly shut up and go away. Not even the owner of these loudmouthed hellions seems to notice. Or care. Maybe they have their Beats headphones on.

Call me old fashioned, but I also believe in having a family dinner. I have a "No Tech at the Table" policy. That includes the adults. There is nothing that my husband and I hate more than seeing an entire family out to dinner and watching them completely ignore each other because they are engrossed in their phone conversations. If I am going to spend my time preparing you a yummy, delicious dinner or pay my hard earned money to take you out, the least you can do is talk to me. I gave birth to you, after all, the least I can do is get to know you.

As of this moment in time, my children do not have cell phones. I'm not against it, I just don't feel it has been necessary as of yet. I think we are getting closer and closer to that point now that they are expanding their social calendars and extracurricular commitments. My kids are in band, choir and student council. They have friends all over the neighborhood and frequently stay after school for rehearsals. My husband works long hours and I sometimes need to be in two places at once. There have been times where it would have been convenient to reach out and call or text my kids to let them know I was running late or to ask them where I need to be. But we have managed just fine so far without the gadgets. So maybe the phones can wait a little longer.

I think it's a shame that children are missing out on their sibling's performances, family conversations, the world around them, new experiences and any number of other things because they have their nose in a phone, in a tablet or in a handheld game. But, by God, they can tell me all I need to know about the latest Vines, music videos, game cheats and celebrity gossip. Talk about a Zombie Apocalypse, we're creating one right before our eyes. No monkeys included.

A Place For Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:29:00 +0000

Recently my husband and I had started making preparations for my mother in law to have a place of her own. She has been living with us seen we moved into our house nearly ten years ago. The arrangement originally was one meant to be mutually beneficial. We helped her take of her mother and she helped us take care of our three children while I went back to school and back to work.

The years went by, as they often do, and the situation has changed. Her mother has since passed away and my children are now at an age where they don't need quite as much adult supervision as they once did. Not to mention that I now work out my home office. (Work being a loose term for unemployed writer.) So I am here to deal with any life threatening emergencies such as running out of milk, missing homework, unruly hair, unwashed band uniforms and forgotten lunches.

I went from feeling like I had to accept this intrusion in my life to feeling that the best thing for her was to be more independent. I felt like I was some sort of advocate. I thought the best thing for mom was to parent her from afar. We would be able to monitor her via phone calls and my husband has access to her bank account so we would know what she was spending her money on. The insurance company arranges transportation to all her doctor appointments and I already do all her shopping for her. See? I kept telling myself. Nothing would change. She would happy. I would be happy. All would be well.

And then it hit me.

One Sunday morning my husband and I were making a big family breakfast, as we often do. I knocked on my mother-in-law's bedroom door to give her a plate of eggs, bacon and toast, cooked just the way she liked them. I entered her room and she was still drowsy with sleep.

She looked as though she hadn't slept very well. Her white hair stood out at odd angles away from her face. She had bags under her eyes. She was groping around blindly for her glasses. I realized then how small and shrunken her body had become. My mother-in-law is a tall, broad shouldered woman but at that moment she looked so frail and tiny. Her skin hung off her arms and legs, wobbling as she moved. Her hand shook as she reached out for her plate of eggs. The only strong thing about her was her voice.

I can't leave her.

I went back to the kitchen and told my husband that I could do this. I could take care of her. Never mind all my fuss. I don't think he has ever been so shocked. He literally starting looking in the kitchen cabinets for the real me, like a was a pod person sent here to bend him to my will.

Well, now our plans have changed. We have outgrown our home. Instead of trying to find a new one this year for a family of five, we are re-budgeting for two more years for a family of six. With a little more tightening of the belts, a little more elbow grease and a lot of dedication, I think we just might make it.

The things we do for family.

Minor Facebook Friends?

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 22:07:00 +0000

I recently started receiving Facebook friend requests from my children's friends. This is uncharted territory for my husband and me. We haven't even allowed our own children to open their own social media accounts and yet we are now receiving friend requests from what are basically little kids. This is the time for us to form a united front. What are we to do in order to protect our privacy and the feelings of our children's friends?

I have to take a stand when it comes to subjecting innocents, at least those I have not raised, to some of the frenzied debates that we start that can get a bit... colorful and ....rowdy and....bawdy on our chosen platforms. I cannot in good conscience have a new generation getting a lesson in politics, history, current events, vocabulary, ethics, work place etiquette, musical tastes (although that might be an improvement), or how to deal with nosy neighbors, bad bosses, lousy in-laws, crazy kids, wanton women, horny husbands, raucous roommates, video game vigilantes, pandering partners, insulting instigators, liars, cheaters, and life in general from a generation that actually had to work hard for their money. Those lessons are reserved for my children's ears alone and they have to earn them through the blood, sweat and tears they shed when we are lecturing them endlessly after they screw up.

Our children are already all too well acquainted with our foul mouths, quirky brand of humor and (my) sharp temper. All things that could be taken out of context by a minor. Especially those that only know us peripherally. Thus we have made the decision not to accept friend requests from any of our kid's friends.

Too many things could go wrong. My husband and I could share an opinion that varies greatly with the ideologies of their friend's family. We do our best to be open and explain all viewpoints to our children while still holding firm to our own beliefs and opinions, but we also recognize that not everyone is this way. I would hate for something I say to be held against my children.

Secondly, this stage of their friendships, in all likelihood, won't stand the test of time. I don't want to be caught in the center of Middle School Friendship Wars. I never played those games as a child and I won't play them now either.

Finally, as much as I love my children's friends, I don't know that it is entirely appropriate for us to be associated with them on social media. First of all, we are adults and therefore we are expected to set a certain example. But we are human, and we aren't always going to be at our best when conversing with our friends on Facebook or tweeting back and forth on Twitter. The facade drops, our language gets more casual (I for one have one heck of a potty mouth), and we are more apt to say what is truly on our minds. Now compare that to how you would talk to your kid's friends. Get the picture? Not such a sterling example anymore, are you?

That's not to say I don't have any minors on my Facebook feed. But they are related to me. And I love them and they love me unconditionally. Or at least they do a pretty good job at pretending not to be ashamed of me come Christmas time.

To all the minors out there, I want you to get to know me. But I want the image you have in your mind to be the cool, fun mom you met and not the foul-mouthed, obnoxious lady on Facebook.

Christmas Come Early

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 15:35:00 +0000

I know that I'm not the only one that has noticed the trend for retailers to put out holiday decor earlier and earlier every year. Call me a traditionalist, but I loathe seeing Frosty sitting next to my jack'o'lanterns. It kind of ruins that spooky effect when Jack's snaggletooth grin is juxtaposed with grinning coals and a carrot nose.

I think of my holidays like a multi-course meal, savoring each mouthwatering selection. I let each one settle before moving on to the next. I never like to have my main dish before I have finished my soup, or my dessert before my salad, or sample my hors d'oeuvre after my soup. So it irks me when Christmas comes early.

I don't need to be reminded by retailers to start shopping early for Christmas. I'm a mom. I get it. In fact I get reminded year round by my kids. What I no longer get is the chance to fully enjoy Halloween without thinking I should be dressing up as a naughty elf. I can kind of understand putting holiday stuff out in time for Thanksgiving, especially years when Turkey Day comes late in the month and it shortens the holiday season. But I still don't even listen to Christmas music until the Friday after Thanksgiving on principle alone. Gotta give the bird some respect.

I'm not a total Grinch. I go shopping for my stocking-stuffers and under-the-tree presents whenever I see a deal I can't pass up. And we put our tree up, without fail, the day after Thanksgiving; no matter when it falls that year. That's our tradition. And we do it while listening to the Christmas music of our choice. Usually something pretty rockin'.

So maybe my heart isn't too small after all. It may be that retailers just have too much Christmas spirit in their blood. But one drugstore near me was putting Halloween stuff on clearance before the end of October to make way for Santa, and for that I cry fowl! (Get it? Cos we're still waiting for Turkey Day? You're right... I'm sorry.)

All I'm saying, is that I don't feel that we the people really need to be reminded to spend our hard earned money on gifts for our loved ones. Especially if we have kids doing the reminding for us. Let us enjoy one holiday at a time, for the love of Michael Meyers. It'll save me from trying to buy a Santa suit for my husband next Halloween.

Why I Let my Kids Watch Scary Movies

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Tue, 07 Oct 2014 17:42:00 +0000

We have a tradition in my house. Every October we try to squeeze in as many horror films as humanly possibly before the month is over. Sometimes they are truly terrible B films, some are great horror classics, some are mediocre remakes, others are arrogant attempts at something original but all offer some entertainment value. Why have we made this a family tradition, no different than watching Christmas movies every December? Why do I let my kids watch scary movies?

During the month of October, many television stations run little mini documentaries about the behind the scenes action of haunted houses, special effects make up, horror movies and such. My kids can't get enough of these little insights into what it takes to scare someone. They especially love learning about the how to create the gore themselves with everyday household objects. It doesn't make a good scary movie any less scary, but knowing that it isn't real creates a safe environment in which to enjoy the scare.

Do my kids have nightmares? Of course they do; they're kids. But do they have more nightmares after watching a scary movie than say, a family friendly picture? Of course not. Watching these movies has become a bonding experience for us. We all cuddle up on the couch together, stay up late, make fun of the terrible acting, predict what is coming up next and cover each other's eyes when we don't want to see something. My youngest, aged nine, has been known on more than one occasion to fall asleep in the middle of a movie. We just cover her up and push 'PLAY'.

What about the violence they are exposed to? Here is my thought on that. They already know, from watching the documentaries on tv, talking to us (their ever knowledgeable parents) and participating in Halloween traditions that monsters aren't real, and that the carnage they are inflicting in the movies we are watching is fake. It is full of props, fake blood, actors and is filmed (in large part) on a studio lot in a fictional location based on a fictional story. Not once has one my children ever tried to recreate any of the events they have seen in a horror film because they know those people are paid actors and stuntmen, not little children who will get hurt doing the same thing. In fact, my children play less violently in their pretend play than most children that I know that are censored strictly from violence on television.

Being a little scared sometimes may not be all that bad for you. Fear sharpens your senses. It gets your blood pumping through your heart, lungs and brain. The feeling is followed by a release of adrenaline and then you can relax, feeling good because all the action is at a safe distance away on the television screen and you are surrounded by the people who love you the most and would never let any harm come to you.

Why do I let my kids watch horror movies? Because they know they're not real. Because they know what they're in for. Because they love spending time with their parents. Because they want to. It has become our tradition.

Silly Parents, Minecraft is for Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 18:17:00 +0000

Building and breaking and building and breaking and building and breaking and AAAAH! Zombie! And back to building and breaking. That's about the gist of Minecraft, right? Or what used to be called Lego's - minus all the Nether World creatures that Minecraft has come up with to keep kids distracted from the fact they have abandoned their tactile building blocks.

In all seriousness, should I doubt the moral fiber of my children when they giggle at having to kill chickens, cows and sheep in order to survive in the cruel worlds they have just created? Survival is a serious business. Especially when facing the pitfalls of lava, water traps, giant spiders, slime blobs, zombies, skeletons, ender- men, and portholes. Other players can sabotage you and you can sabotage them. Your pet wolves can turn on you at any moment.The villages don't speak your language. Minecraft is a dangerous place.

It is forcing my children to use their imaginations to work together to build communities and they don't even know it. Being underhanded and sneaky to teach my children valuable lessons is my job, Minecraft! You have to build everything from scratch. And being block shaped, that's not always easy. But in order to build and fabricate you first need to collect the necessary items. And to collect the necessary items you mine, find or kill for them.

Minecraft is the first game in a long time that all three of my kids will sit and play together without arguing about turns, without getting in each other's way, and a game in which if one child leaves the arena it doesn't ruin it for everybody else. It has really put a damper on my quiet time because no one is ever in time out. I suppose I really shouldn't complain too much. It has been a while since I have stepped barefoot on a Lego piece in the middle of the night or sucked one up in my vacuum cleaner, never to be heard from again. Plus, we didn't buy them the game until they earned the money for it in the first place. That was a lot of dog poop they picked up.

So, I guess while I don't totally get it, because maybe my adult brain just can't wrap itself around the point of it all, the kids seem to really enjoy it. And they are playing nicely together for once. And maybe all that practice with the Lego's and Lincoln Logs came in handy because they have built some pretty awesome structures and their problem solving skills are pretty impressive. (Go Mom!)

So maybe they can play Minecraft for just a little longer today...

Open Letter to my HOA

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 16:18:00 +0000

Dear Settler's Village HOA,

I am so pleased that you decided to remodel our pool so that the families of our community could enjoy a refreshing swim during the hot and humid Texas Summer months. You couldn't have picked a better time of year to do the renovations either. Summer is the perfect time. There are no school kids walking to and from school to get in the way. No buses making a lot of noise. And you know for sure that it won't be too cold to work outside and there is no threat of the pool water freezing.

Not only has JR. D Construction, the company you chose for the remodel, put up a lovely chain link fence around most of our park and two huge construction bins in our tiny parking lot, but their lack of progress is astounding. The steel construction bins add an apocalyptic, yet urban feel to the family park, especially when framed by the primary colors of the playground equipment. I can't help but notice how you have managed to drive away all the riff raff. Who wants kids playing in the park during summer anyway? And your self gratifying sign is just the icing on cake. JR. D Construction truly can do everything, including sucking all the life out a neighborhood park and dragging out a construction project for months on end.

Your trash bins showed up in May. Your chain link fence prohibited access to the swing set in early June. You drained the pool in mid June.Your sign went up in late June. And every day, no matter what time I drive by, walk my dog or take my kids to their friends' houses, the pool remains empty. No workers, no water, and no families enjoying their summer. Congratulations. Truly.

Now, perhaps the materials for the remodel are just not available. I guess that's just poor planning. Or maybe it's just too hot to work during the summer. Sure would've been nice to take a dip in the pool, right? Maybe you have too many projects going on and have spread yourself too thin. Poor planning? Again? Or maybe you are really really thorough and just want to do a good job. OK, I'll buy that, but where are your employees?

As for my HOA, thanks for making me call our management company, PCMI, to get all the information in the first place. When we didn't get the notice for our new pool tags I put in a call to PCMI to make sure my notice didn't get lost in the mail. I love making new friends anyway and the lovely lady on the phone informed me that we were getting a new pool. She was much more excited than I was. And no, no one thought to make a deal with a neighboring neighborhood so we could use their pool. And no, there is no county pool. And no, there is no city pool. But good news! Next year we should be able to use our brand new pool!

So thank you, Settler's Village HOA for the surprise remodel of the pool. I mean, I know we voted on it but I had know idea it was coming so soon. I certainly never would have guessed you would start it when swim season began. My guess would have been to do the remodel during the Spring or even Fall. And thank you for hiring what must surely be the most thorough construction company in the city and county and quite possibly in the state to work on the remodel. I'm positive I will thank you next year when I can take all three of my kids to the pool. Because God knows I can't do it this year.

Sincerely,
A Mom, A Member of the Community, A Wannabe Swimmer

Free Summer 2014

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Fri, 30 May 2014 02:43:00 +0000

I found out earlier this month that my wonderful neighborhood Home Owners Association has finally decided to remodel our pool. Isn't that great? The problem is, the work is starting now. At the start of swim season. Wasn't that nice of them? If you're like me, and I'm sure many of you are, local attractions (especially free ones) are the ones you need to rely on during the long summer months. So what's a family to do?

In my area, I found two theaters that have kid friendly movie programs for the summer. Carmike Cinemas is offering $4 seats every Thursday at 10 am starting on June 5. The $4 admission includes a small drink and a small popcorn. My particular theater is showing movies like The Lego Movie, Epic, Despicable Me 2, Rio, and The Croods. Check your local theater to see what they are showing this summer. Cinemark is offering ten movies for $5 if you purchase tickets in advance or one movie for $1 at the door. My particular theater is showing films like The Smurfs 2, Turbo, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, and Walking With Dinosaurs. Check your local listings for movies and show times.

How about bowling? Check out kidsbowlfree.com for a list of bowling alleys that are participating in this summer's first ever program to help give kids a fun and safe way to spend the hot summer months. Parents can register with their local bowling alley and give their kids two free games of bowling every day. AMF has had a similar program for the last few years offering three free games to kiddos aged 15 years and younger. So I guess it is just a matter of who is closer to you.

Reading programs are a great way to keep your kids reading this summer and some reading programs help your child earn free books and even some pocket change for their efforts. Barnes & Noble will reward kids ages 6-12 with a free book after they read eight books and turn in their reading journal to participating stores. Feed Your Brain is Half Price Book's summer reading program. Kids 14 and under can add up their reading minutes and turn in a log to earn $5 in bookworm bucks. Sylvan Learning Center has a free, interactive way to encourage kids to read by quizzing them on what they've read and giving them the opportunity to earn prizes in the process. I also you recommend you check out PBS, home of Reading Rainbow, to learn how to raise an enthusiastic reader. I firmly believe in the power of literacy.

And finally, Chuck E. Cheese wants to reward your kids for their good behavior.You can print off and bring in completed chore sheets to participating restaurants for 10 free game tokens.

As always there is the public library, community centers, the beach, bbq's and the ever popular chore list(!) to complete. I have a feeling my yard and house will never be cleaner without that silly pool to distract me this summer. In fact, I may have my kids read up on gardening and redecorating tips to get them started...

The STAARs at Night

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 16:19:00 +0000

There is a big debate going on right now about the validity and fairness of standardized testing. I don't have a high school student (yet) so I admit I am ignorant on the debate about making the test's scores part of a student's final grade. I do, however, have a fifth grade student and her final score could impede her progress of going on to enjoy middle school with her friends.

All of my kids are different when it comes to their strengths and weaknesses. My fifth grade daughter has always struggled in academics but she shines in her artistic pursuits. She was a late reader and it takes her longer to catch on to mathematical concepts than it does my other children. She has no learning disabilities, it's just how she is. And we accept her for that. That doesn't mean that we don't expect her to work hard or that we give up on her or that we don't do everything we can to help her succeed. She is 100% capable of learning and she will do it, she just does it at her own pace. In fact her little mind is like a steel trap; once she latches on to a concept it stays there forever. We encourage her to ask questions in class, she goes to tutoring, we work with her on her homework, her teachers send extra practice home, we print out our own workbook pages on weekends and on long breaks. My daughter will be prepared for life.

So what's the problem, you ask? Testing. Not just the STAAR (State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness), but the benchmarks and the district assessments and the teacher's exams. Is there a week or a day that goes by that these kids don't have a test? Is there a time that these teachers can actually teach and not administer an exam? Is there a time that these kids can relax and not worry about when their next assessment is coming up?

As I said before, each of my children are very different. My son is in seventh grade. He could care less if there a test coming up. He barely has to study for his exams and he makes an 'A'. He breezes through his assessments, comes home, does his homework, practices his trumpet and then reads his comic books without a second thought. My fifth grade daughter was completely stressed about the STAAR test. She knew that she was struggling in math and she knew that if she didn't pass the STAAR she may not pass the fifth grade. That was a lot of pressure for an eleven year old. The only thing that made it easier on her was the knowledge that she could work her math problems out her way. No one was going to be coming up behind her telling her that she wasn't working her problems out the way that the district required. My youngest, my third grader daughter, cries every time she has to take any kind of test. But then she goes to school and usually does very well. I have never been able to pinpoint why she gets so anxious, considering she generally gets good grades. The only thing I can think of is that it seems that nearly every week she is taking a test of some sort and she gets burned out taking them.

I honestly don't know what to do about this conundrum. I have seen example questions of what my district feels their standards ought to be. I have seen example questions the STAAR test feels the nation's standards ought to be. They are in line with each other and neither feels that out of line to me. If yours aren't, SPEAK UP! It's you're right as a parent, as an educator, as a board member, as a tax payer! Demand better!

Here is my (ideal) proposed solution to the too much testing problem. IF the district is doing their job and hiring quality educators, THEN the exams that the quality educator comes up with should be a fair assessment of a student's understanding of the material learned in the classroom. A teacher's exams should replace a district's benchmark tests, which I don't see a need for to begin with considering my district insists on districts exams as well. Getting rid of just one test frees up much more time for actual classroom instruction. As for state mandated or national mandated tests, I can't help you with that. You reap what you sow. If you want change, you have to make change. Educate yourself before going to the polls. We've gotten ourselves into this mess, we can get ourselves out of it.

By the way, my daughter passed the STAAR and I am one proud mama.

Lice Wars

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 15:52:00 +0000

I have gone my entire life without having to experience the itchy creepy crawly feeling associated with having lice. Until this weekend. That'll teach me to snuggle with my kids. My youngest daughter started scratching furiously at her head a few weeks ago. And, being a diligent mother, I began checking her head regularly for those little vermin called lice. I never saw anything until Friday. There was a little teeny tiny thing crawling in her hair. I caught it, killed it, and Googled it. I had no clue what lice looked like, but I was about to get an education.

When you find out you have a head lice infestation the first thing you do is question your hygiene. Are my kids clean enough? Do I wash our sheets often enough? Should I cut their hair shorter? Should I change our shampoo? Do I vacuum often enough? Should I clean my furniture? How old are our mattresses? Why do I let them share their brushes with each other? How did I miss this?

I'm telling you this is all hogwash. First of all, lice is super common childhood ailment. As crowded as our schools are, it's easy for the little boogers to find new hosts everyday. All it takes is a little head to head contact. Does your kid play sports? Then they risk getting lice every time they huddle up. How about every time they have small group lessons? Or tell each other secrets on the playground? Or share head phones for the computer? Or share pillows in a reading nook?

Wanna talk about hygiene? Lice actually prefer clean hair to dirty hair because it's easier to climb on. That blows the theory that only dirty people get lice out of the proverbial water. Also, girls are more likely to get lice than boys. I have a feeling that may be because we're more likely to share secrets, brushes, and hats than our dirtier, stingier counter parts.

I went the traditional route and used the nasty chemical shampoo to treat my kids' lice as well as my own. Yes, I got lice through all the snuggling and loving I get from my kids. It seems that Daddy, surprisingly, escaped the infestation, but I still made him suffer the treatment. It's only fair. Because of my migraines I don't use a lot of chemicals around the house. So I could have tried some of the home remedies like mayonnaise, olive oil, petroleum jelly, gasoline and kerosene. But they were a little too much, and kind of gross, even for me.

While it really sucks getting lice, take it as a sign that your kid is clean and socially healthy. I think of it as a sign that I must be doing something right. I am raising kids that not only have good hygiene, but are little social butterflies. But I still told them not to tell anyone they had lice. That's just gross.

And We Were Doing So Well...

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:59:00 +0000

Illness has once again struck our home, and this time with a vengeance. Fortunately not on me. Unfortunately, I have never had the patience to deal with the whining and the complaining that comes with being sick. People always think I am just being funny when I tell these stories but, hand to God, they are true.

I was fortunate enough to have a pediatrician that didn't push antibiotics on my kids when they were young. She preferred to try to cure the common sniffle with home remedies before resorting to medication. I don't know if that had anything to do with her being Indian or just the fact that she had common sense, but there you go. And in the years since, we have rarely been struck down by flu bugs and tummy viruses.

When the kids start to get all stopped up, we bring out the saline nose spray. Just one puff in each nostril, a good blow, and you are good to go. When that doesn't work, we'll bring out the humidifier. It will save your life! Trust me. Night time is when you will lose the most sleep to coughs and colds. And it will always happen at three o'clock in the morning. I was in a deep slumber and all of sudden, "Cough, cough, cough". I stirred a little in my sleep and realized that my kid was coughing in the other room. My husband woke a little bit and stated the obvious, "She's coughing," and then he resumed snoring.

I tried to lay back down and go to sleep, but between my poor baby coughing and feeling miserable in the next room and my husband snoring in my ear, it was impossible. Finally, he rolled over and his hand slapped me in face and I gave up. There would be no more sleep for me tonight. So I did what any good mom would do. I sat up and yelled, "Go get a drink of water, for crying out loud!"

A soft "OK" answered, followed by footsteps to the kitchen. I rolled my husband over, who amazingly had slept through it all, and settled back down for a long sleep. Yeah, right. The coughing continued sporadically throughout the night. Even though she was practically sitting up. Even though the humidifier was on full blast, leaving a thin sheen of dew on every surface of her room. Even though she had blown her nose dry.

By now, it was 5 o'clock in the morning. I can't give her another dose of cough medicine because then I won't be able to give her another dose before school starts in the morning. And, yeah, I send my kids to school unless they are throwing up or have a fever. I am that mom. It was your scuzzy kids that got my kid sick in the first place, so deal with it. The idea of having to give her more medicine gave me flashbacks of the night before when I had to finally give in and start her on the dreaded antibiotics. I don't remember amoxicillin tasting that bad, but apparently my daughter thinks it is the next best thing to dog crap.

To get her take her medicine is a struggle, to put it nicely. I start off nice and slow.

"Here is your medicine and here is your drink to wash it down with. Have you taken it yet? Take your medicine. Drink it. Drink it now! Just swallow it and wash it down. The longer you sit here the angrier I am going to get. Just drink it. Good, now swallow it. The longer you keep it in your mouth the worse it going to taste. Swallow it! There's no taste buds in your throat, just swallow it! So help me, if you spit it out... If you don't swallow it I'm going to sit on you and plug your nose! One... Two... Now was that so hard?"

I shivered in the dark as the flashback passes. I'm going to have to do this twice a day for nine more days. Yea! I wish I could find patient zero. The things I would do to him... At least we don't get sick that often. You'd think that I would be better at this than I am. Oh, well. At least it isn't my husband that is sick. That's another story entirely.

Dealing With Grief

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 20:31:00 +0000

I know most of the time I keep things light-hearted and fun, but the sad truth is that tragedy does strike and we, as parents, have to help our kids deal with the challenges of the grieving process. My children were blessed with five great grandparents when they started their young lives. Now, as of January 8, my wonderful grandmother is the only one left.

About four years ago, my husband's grandmother, affectionately known as "Mom", passed away. She lived with us for a few years until the physical demands of caring for someone in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's Disease were too much for my mother in law (who still lives with us) to handle on her own. We had no choice but to place her in a nursing home where she could receive round the clock care. My children, who were 8, 6 and 4 at the time, wanted to honor Mom in a special way. We had a small memorial here at the house because Mom was to be cremated and buried in her home town in Michigan. Afterwards, the kids, my husband, and I walked to the field near our home and released a balloon into the air. Attached to the balloon were handwritten notes that each of my children had written for Mom. That's the part they remember most about honoring Mom. It helped the kids tremendously to think that their letters would somehow reach her in Heaven.

In December, 2011 we lost my Grandaddy to a bout of pneumonia. He died within days of his 90th birthday. My dad's side of the family dealt with this loss with love and laughter, even if some of the laughter was by accident. My dad is one of six children. In a private moment, each of the children placed something special in their father's casket. A family photo to keep him company, his favorite nuts for a snack, money in his pocket in case of emergency, and a golf ball to enjoy the greens once more. Well, oddly enough golf balls enjoy rolling and bouncing around in the empty spaces of a casket. It turns out, if you don't warn the hearse drivers that something will be moving around inside of a casket, it kind of freaks them out. My family loves each other very much and I think that we are pretty close. None the less, it was a great bonding experience in that only immediate family members knew what that strange sound was coming from Grandaddy's casket while he was being transferred from the hearse to his final resting place. Snickers abounded and grief was abated, if only for a moment.

This brings me to our family's most recent encounter with grief. My mother's parents both passed just recently. My Paw Paw just after Christmas and my Grandma just after the new year. They had been married an astonishing 67 years. I can't remember them ever being apart so I suppose it is only appropriate that they are together again, this time for eternity. When Paw Paw died, I was comforted by the fact that I still had my Grandma and that was like still having a little piece of my Paw Paw left. The last time I saw my Grandma, I told her all about my Paw Paw's funeral service because she had been too weak to attend. Her heart was visibly broken and it tore me up to see her like that. She clutched both his picture and my hand and she sobbed. My Grandma had been my best friend my whole life. When I told my children of her passing, the first thing my youngest said was, "But she was the one that taught me to read." My Grandma was a natural teacher. She, like Mom, Grandad and Paw Paw, were strong inspirations and influences in my life and in my children's lives. I can't count my blessings enough that we have had these angels in our lives, but dealing with these losses has shaken my world.

I liken the sadness I have felt to the night. I wake up in the morning to a new day and everything seems like it will okay, but there's a darkness looming on the horizon. Night is coming. As the day goes on, it grows brighter and brighter. I feel like I can work and that I have the motivation and the inspiration to get up write. And then the peak of the day has come and the sun has passed over its highest point. Yet here I am, staring at a computer screen, having not written a word. Thoughts start to weigh heavy on my mind. They grow darker and heavier just as the day grows darker and colder. Before I know it, dusk is settling in, replacing the day with the night. Filling my exhausted head with sadness.

My kids handled these recent deaths probably better than I did. They were remarkably mature and strong in the face of such tragedy. We have crawled up together on my bed and on the couch and cried, talked, laughed and shared stories. There have been meltdowns and quarrels, but they have been comforted by the memories they have and jokes that they can share; the kind that only family will ever understand. Most of all, they have me and they have their dad and they have each other.

As much as it felt like it would, the world didn't stop. We somehow managed to go on without you in our lives. It hurt so much. The kind of hurt I thought would never go away. I will always love my grandparents and am grateful for all they did for me and for my precious family. In time we will heal, and we will heal through the laughter and the love that we provide each other. So it's not goodbye, but goodnight. Rest well, because we will have a lot to talk about when I see you again.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:16:00 +0000

I have always been thankful that my kids have never been terribly greedy when it comes to making their Christmas Wish Lists. The internet has been filled with pictures of letters to Santa Claus with nothing but children asking for more, more and more. Maybe those parents laugh and think, "Oh, how cute that little Billy wants the entire Toys 'R' Us catalog. I didn't know he even liked Barbies." But if those were my kids, I would be shaking my head in shame.

This last year has been a little harder than most. I had to quit my job because of my health problems, we had to pay our insurance out of pocket for six months, and now are playing catch up with our credit cards. So Christmas is going to be lean. And we are honest with the kids about it. We feel that's the only way to be.

As for Santa Claus... Our kids are 12, 10 and 8. Though he has never asked, I'm pretty sure that my oldest, my son, no longer believes in Santa. He said something to me one time about not believing and I told him that Santa would be real so long as he believed. My daughters are constantly trying to get us to admit that my husband and I are really the ones that put all the gifts out on Christmas Eve. Their biggest "clue" is the difference between our Santa and and their cousin's Santa. Their cousin's Santa apparently has time to visit throughout the month of December, putting little goodies in her stocking and filling it up throughout the month. Our Santa does it all in one fell swoop. How can that be possible? I just ask them, "Do you want presents from Santa?" They say yes. "Then shut up and believe in him."

So the Santa Claus gifts will still be here. And they will, understandably, be better than the clothes that mommy and daddy will buying them. He just needs to remember to do a better job of hiding the empty candy bags. He also opens the packages in the house before setting everything up just right. The Tooth Fairy has also been known to forget to pick up teeth for sometimes three days at a stretch. She was very busy. She also accidentally left them in my dresser. Not to mention the mess the Easter Bunny leaves behind. He also forgets to throw his trash away where the kids can't find it every once in a while. Ugh! Those guys! I'm trying to keep the magic alive here just a little longer!

It seems that no matter how much, or how little, we manage to get them for Christmas, as long as the big guy shows up they seem to be happy. After all, the real reason for the season rests inside us all. Tiny Tim said it best in my favorite tale of all time, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol; "God bless us, every one."

Extreme Coupon Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:10:00 +0000

Well, I tried. We looked at the sales ads before we left the house. We went through all of the coupons I clipped from the Sunday paper. I looked at the coupons I had digitally loaded on my Kroger's card. (I didn't have time to troll the internet this time.) We made a menu for the week, made a list and off we went.

In order to be more successful at this extreme coupon thing, I know I need to get more organized and plan ahead better than I did this week. I already knew that I couldn't do it in one day, but that was all I had this week. But better planning next time will hopefully mean better savings. I just stuffed all my coupons in my back pocket and had to shuffle through them every few aisles to double check for savings. If any of you are 'couponers', I know I'm totally making you cringe right now.

So this week we tried to make the most of what we had in the freezer so that we didn't have to buy more meat this week. But I did have to buy more fresh fruits and veggies, which are always a big expense. The problem that I ran into while shopping, which is the problem I run into all the time, is that the store brands are still cheaper than the name brands even with the coupon. I realize there is suppose to be some sort of pattern to the sales in which my $1 off coupon will make such and such name brand free to me on the third Wednesday of the fifth month of every year or some such nonsense, but I'll be damned if I'm going to wait around for it to happen before I buy the knock off version when I'm hungry now. I guess you can see that patience is not a skill I possess. I'm going to have to find some if I'm going to keep this up.

By the end of our shopping trip, we used two coupons. Two. For a grand savings of probably $2. One for light bulbs and one for a long handled lighter; both items that we need. I think I need more practice...

Coupon Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Fri, 08 Nov 2013 16:46:00 +0000

I think I'm late to the game, but I just cannot figure out this extreme couponing thing. It just feels so overwhelming when I look at the work involved in making this work for my family. Now not only to have to clip coupons from my Sunday paper, I have to print them out from web sites and cut those out. I have to download digital coupons. I have to learn to coupon policies for my local stores. And my brain just doesn't work this way.

I am the occasional couponer right now. I clip coupons for the things that I use, but generally the store brand is cheaper, even with the coupon, so I end up with my little sandwich baggie full of unused coupons that eventually expire and get thrown away. I use Kroger's digital coupons, too. But I know that you can't combine the digital ones with the paper ones. So now I have to print out the list that tells me what digital coupons I have loaded onto my Kroger card. Not so bad yet...

Today I did some research and found a ton of online coupon sites. Some you have to pay for and others are free. So far, I am having trouble justifying buying coupons, but I suppose if you buy a newspaper, you are in essence, buying coupons. I'll keep you updated as to the ones I find to be the most helpful.

Now, I need to learn the coupon policies of my local stores. This means that I have come to the conclusion that shopping is now going to take me at least twice as long. That kind of sucks, but I guess if I can make this work then it may be worth it in the end. Not every store will have the same policies. For example, I know that our local Kroger's will no longer double or triple coupons, but another store nearby might. Additionally, one store might offer a better deal on something than another store does. So it looks like multiple trips for me.

I have a lot to learn... And my brain is on overload today. One thing that my husband and I agreed on is, "NO HOARDING!" Not only do I not have enough space in my house, but I am already trying to get rid of the clutter I have. I certainly don't need the clutter of pasta sauce and razors filling up my extra space. We decided that anything that we can't use (but can get for free) we will donate. Right away. We could all use a little extra change in our karma piggy banks, too.

My Snowflakes

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Tue, 24 Sep 2013 15:38:00 +0000

Each of my children have their own distinct personalities. They're like snowflakes. No two are alike. Sure, they all have similarities. They all have brown hair and brown eyes. But Timothy is musical mathematical. Rebecca is artistic and poetic. Diana is my athletic writer. Along with their strengths, come their weaknesses. And as much as I love their strengths and encourage them to pursue their interests, I have to help them work through their weaknesses so that they don't hinder them when they leave the safety of my nest.

Timothy is very logical and ordered. Science, math and music make a lot of sense to him. Writing, not so much. In writing there are too many rules that can be fudged. I can write this sentence without any commas and it would still make sense. But, in this sentence, I need multiple commas in order for it to make sense because, should I leave them out, it would be incorrect. He made good enough grades last year to get into the highest level classes available. He is doing really well in all of them except language arts. The concepts that he is not grasping deal with the rules of the English language. I can't say that I blame him. You try explaining to a child how to form compound and complex sentences without Googling it. I dare you. But if you ask him to solve a math problem in his head, he can do it. And he made the top band right out of Beginner's Band. He loves playing his trumpet and recently expressed an interest in learning to play multiple instruments.

Rebecca's kryptonite is math. Always has been. I swear she has arithmaphobia. As soon as you ask her a math question, no matter how simple, she balks. And I am out of solutions as to how to help her. I have screamed, yelled, drawn diagrams, played charades, done it for her, bought workbooks, sat her down with computer programs, sent her to tutoring, taught her different ways, cried, prayed, gotten extra work from her teachers, ignored the problem, and gotten a drink. And, no, she does not have ADD, ADHD, dyslexia or anything else. She's just plain bad at math. That magic moment of comprehension just hasn't happened for her yet. Her teachers have all been really great about letting her sit up front so she can whisper the problems out loud (which seems to work for her) and give her some extra time on her tests. But if you ask her to write a story or a poem, she's your girl. And she is developing a really good singing voice. She gets that from Daddy.

Diana is my little spitfire. I'm not surprised that she wanted to get involved in student council. If anyone can convince anyone to do anything, it's Diana. She loves to write in her spare time. She makes up stories and keeps them in a little notebook. She is my outdoors girl. I think she would live in the backyard if I would let her. What I need her to do is work on her reading. As good a writer as she is, you'd think she'd be a really good reader. It's not the reading we have to work on, per se, it's the comprehension. She loves to read. In fact, she reads on a level a few grades higher than she is, but her comprehension is lagging. I am pretty familiar with the books that she is reading so I am able to make up some good questions to test her comprehension. If I lead her the right way, she can get to the right answer but she should be able to answer my questions without me having to lead her. I think she understands what she is reading, but she either isn't paying attention to the details or to she is too busy making up her own stories that are inspired by what she is reading to care.

My three little snowflakes. I love that they all have their own unique interests, even if it means more work for me in the run long. I think it's fascinating watching them grow and turn into these real little people. They're no longer these helpless little babies. They are tiny little people with their own personalities and now it's up to me to help guide them into adulthood. This is so exciting. I hope I don't screw it up.

School Ties

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Fri, 20 Sep 2013 15:44:00 +0000

I have a confession to make. I haven't been the best example for my children. I quit high school at the end of my junior year and home schooled my senior year. I never felt that I fit in anywhere in school. But I also never made the effort to fit in. I had a handful of friends in all of the high school cliques but I never made any long lasting friendships the way my husband did. That is something I have always been jealous of.

I could have breakfast with the Misfits, lunch with the Thespians, hang out after school with the Musicians and the Stoners, get on the bus with the Nerds and then spend my weekends with kids that didn't even go to my school. It only took one bad relationship to teach me to never date boys that went to the same school I did. The reasons I left school are much too complicated to explain in black and white, and I don't regret the decision, but it has led to some lonely times as an adult.

I don't have any high school reunions to look forward to. In fact, I look forward to my husband's high school reunions. What can I say? I live vicariously through his time tested friendships. I did recently get invited to my Thespian Troupe's reunion. We were the first Thespian Troupe in our school because we went to a new high school. We set a lot of the ground rules. I guess it was kind of a big deal now that I think of it. But I was actually surprised to get the invite.

It was the only society I ever joined, until college anyway. At that time, theater was all I ever wanted to do. It was all any of us ever wanted to do. It was the common bond that joined us all together. Actors, costumers, stage managers, directors, lighting technicians, sound artists... But I didn't participate very much on my high school stage. When I was younger, before high school, I had gotten involved in local community theaters and had formed deep bonds with the people there. That was where my friends were. That was where my heart was. That was where my passion was. That was where I wanted to be. And that was where I stayed for nearly 20 years. I'd still be there today had it not been for my stroke in 2010.

Now I am invited to this reunion. I feel a little hypocritical going because I didn't contribute anything to my Thespian Troupe. I thought about not going at all. I don't have anything to show to anyone. I don't feel that I made anything of myself. I didn't form any long lasting friendships with anyone. But I want to see these people. They still mean something to me. The best part about theater is that they welcome everyone and for the most part, they welcomed me.

Who cares if we didn't all become famous? Who cares if we all gained some weight (well I did)? I'm sure none of us are where we thought we would be when we left high school. It'll be fun to see what happened to everyone. Where we all went and how we all got there. Who knows? Maybe I'll get some ideas for a new script. After all these years, I still can't stay away from theater, even though now I'm a struggling (very struggling) playwright.

Maybe I am capable of committing to something. Script writing may be slow going, but I have been making progress. So maybe I'm not such a bad example after all. All I know is, I made the right decision at the right time. But I will do everything I can to keep my kids in school. There were things that made life unbearable at 17, but I often wonder how life would have been different if I had stuck it out just one more year. I'm going to go to that reunion. And I am going to have a great time. And I'm going to come home and tell my kids all about it. (Well, the PG parts of it, anyway.) Because it's the only part of high school I can still be proud to be a part of.

My Education Soap Box

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Wed, 18 Sep 2013 16:30:00 +0000

One of the reasons we settled where we did, in the school district where we live, was because the district's success rates and statistics matched up with what we wanted for our young family's future. At that time. But times change. Statistics change. Success rates change. And now we are faced with living in an area that is less promising than what we want for our kids.

Granted we are making preparations to move to a better area, which sadly is only a few miles down the road, but what do we, as parents, in the mean time to help our kids be successful? What if we are unable to make the move? What if the other school district fails us as well? How do we teach our children? How do we prepare them for the future?

I come from a long line of teachers. My Grandma was a teacher, my mom is a teacher and I worked in the school district as a substitute teacher for years, so I have a soft spot when it comes to teachers. But they can't do everything. They are not your babysitter. They are not there to teach your kid manners. They are not a punching bag. They are not a substitute parent. They are there to teach. To mentor. To guide.

Your kids are a reflection of you. I understand that not everyone can be home to help with homework and study guides. I understand that you can't take your kids to museums, parks, or to the zoo every weekend. Neither can we. Times are tough. But we have to be a good influence on our children.

Do chores together. Walk the dog together. Read together. Play a game together. Eat dinner together. Kids have a better chance at success when families eat dinner together. Cook together. Cooking teaches math and science skills. Go grocery shopping together. Shopping teaches your children about budgets and making good decisions. There are real life experiences that parents have the opportunity to teach their kids that a teacher doesn't have time to.

There are many free educational websites. There are documentaries on television. There are volunteer opportunities. There are libraries. Supplemental resources abound. You yourself are a supplemental resource. I want my kids to work hard so they can play hard. I want them to learn how to work smarter, not harder. I will not fail them. Their teachers will not fail them. Their schools will not fail them. They will not fail themselves. They will take what they are given and they will work with it to be whatever they want to be.

And I am so proud of my kids already.

My Wonderful Kids

Bad Backpack

noreply@blogger.com (Dizzy Diaries) — Tue, 17 Sep 2013 15:06:00 +0000

My daughters begged us for new backpacks this year. It didn't matter that their old backpacks were in perfectly good condition. It didn't matter that backpacks cost money and we had already spent about $35,081 on school supplies and clothes already. They wanted new backpacks. My youngest daughter received a new backpack for her birthday. She loved it. And my oldest daughter was finally content to use last year's bag. Then a generous neighbor went and ruined it all. She gave my oldest daughter a new backpack. Not just any backpack. A really cool, one-strapped style backpack. The kind I don't approve of, just so you know. Now my youngest daughter was insanely jealous. Nothing was good enough for her. Everyday was a struggle. Every shopping trip was a fight. I finally gave in, like any other terrible mother would, and bought her a new backpack. The one-strap kind.

I found the new bag at Walgreens for $10. I'll be damned if I'm going to spend more than $20 on a backpack that my kids are going to hate the next year. And apparently, you get what you pay for. This particular bag is made by Urban Sport. It was barely big enough to fit her 2" three ring binder. In fact, in the first week of school, she broke one of the zippers off because she was forcing it closed. I gave her a lesson on cramming everything into a tiny space more effectively. It worked. For two more weeks.

Photo of the ill-fated bag I bought my daughter

Last night, she broke the other zipper off. Seriously? I know I only paid $10 for this backpack that my daughter begged me for that I didn't want to buy her in the first place, but to only last for three weeks seems a bit ridiculous to me. Especially considering that the $15 backpacks I bought last year are in great condition and still sitting in their closet. (Those are made by Jansport, by the way.) Lesson learned, I suppose.

The zipper didn't just break, it came off completely.

My daughter went to school this morning with her birthday bag and the knowledge that mommy is always right. She never needed that one-strapped tiny backpack. And she's perfectly happy using the one she had to begin with. Now she owes me $10.