Back Door

Father's Day without My Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 02:42:00 +0000

It's been ages since I last posted here about anything. My close friends and my boy friend has been urging me to update my blog but I just couldn't find anything interesting to write about. Or was it just my excuse so that I won't have to face my fear...fear of writing about what happened after my Lola died, fear of remembering every single thing and feel the pain all over again. But I know one way or another soon I'll have to face that fear.

Five days after my Lola was cremated my Dad passed away. We were able to attend the mass dedicated for my Lola and went home that fateful night...we took him to the hospital less than an hour after we got home. He was still cheerful despite the pain he's going through. He was still talking to us...I just turned my back for a second and found him being carried to a hospital bed in the ER...for an hour they tried to revive him.

Almost a year later here we are still together and holding on to each others' strength to survive that pain of losing my Dad. And as I write I am trembling from trying to hold back the tears...I can't say we've moved on but life still goes on for us. We celebrated Father's Day for my Kuya Paolo and my brother...as for my Dad I know he's looking down on us and he's happy seeing us together.

Good bye, Lola

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:40:00 +0000

My grand mother passed away last Saturday morning at 97. More relieved than sad, the rest of the family thanked God that she is finally free from all the pain and suffering. Matagal na rin kasing may sakit ang Lola ko at ilang buwan na rin naman siyang naka-NGT since hindi na niya kayang kumain ng solid food.

But I still couldn't stop the tears when I finally came to see her remains at the Loyola Memorial Chapel in Guadalupe...buti na lang kasama ko ang boy friend ko his presence helped a lot para lang mapigil ko ang sarili ko sa pag-iyak. Mas pinili kong 'wag nang pabagsakin ang luha ko kasi ayokong makita ng mga Auntie ko and especially my Mom na umiiyak ako. I grew up with my Lola at habang pinagdadasal namin ang kaluluwa niya memories of my childhood with her by my side just came rushing in. Bittersweet...as my farewell message to you Lola...I'm dedicating this song to you. You may be gone, but certainly not forgotten.

"With You In Your Dreams"

If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
It's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time as a time
Of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams
Oh I'll be with you, oh oh

But If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh oh

Don't cry, I'm with you
Don't cry, I'm by your side
Don't cry, I'm with you
Don't cry, I'm by your side

And though my flesh is gone, whoa
I'll still be with you at all times
And although my body's gone, oh
I'll be there to comfort you at all times

Oh oh

But If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you
I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh, I'll be with you
Oh
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you
I'll be with you

I don't want you to cry and weep, oh
I want you to go on living your life
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, oh
'Cause in your heart
You have all of our good times
Oh, all of our good times
Oh oh you have

And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you
Oh
I'll be with you
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you in your dreams...

My Davao Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 06:11:00 +0000

I have been wanting to write about my Davao experience last May 22 of this year when my best friend literally dragged me to join her in her Davao weekend escapade.

Everything was a first to me...first time ko sumakay sa airplane..first time ko makapunta sa Davao! Di naman ako natakot pero may kaunting kaba...exciting nga eh! Sayang lang maganda sana kung nasa may bintana ako at nakapag-sight seeing! Pagdating namin sa Airport naamoy ko na agad yung beach...napaka-ganda!!!

Ang aga namin dumating sa Davao and we went straight to Paradise Resort para nga mag-beach! Very relaxing. I met two of my best friend's girlfriends Meri & Chare...I enjoyed spending time with them along with my best friend's son Miggy!

The hotel was great...yun lang medyo di ko feel yung tapa nila...tigas kasi eh but everything's great! Non-stop ang pamamasyal namin and I get to meet some of my best friend's Dabawenyo friends too...they were all nice people. Pansin ko nga malinis sa Davao, mababait ang mga tao, mura ang bilihin at hindi mapagsamantala ang mga cab drivers unlike some here in Manila.

We went to Crocodile Park, Butterfly Farm, Xcelerator and Eden Park. My zipline experience was the best! Nakakahiya lang sa mga kasama ko kasi panay hinto namin dahil sakin habang umaakyat kami sa bundok! Hindi kasi kaya ng powers ko! Pero proud ako sa sarili ko nung makarating ako sa tuktok! I wanted to try the "superman" position but I chickened out kaya naupo na lang ako! Ehehehe.

Pumasyal din kami sa Aldevinco where we bought our pasalubongs...kaunti lang binili ko hindi lang dahil nag-aalala ako na lumagpas sa 7kilos ang bagahe ko...inaalala ko rin ang budget ko! Teehee!

Panalo ang mga pagkain! As in the best talaga! Sa wakas nakilala ko na rin ang pork marinara ng Lachi's! Napaka-sarap! Sayang lang walang masyadong panahon hindi ko na-sample ang iba pa nilang pagkain! I bet masasarap lahat yun! Sa totoo lang kaya ako biglang napa-blog dahil nag-crave ako sa pork marinara! Lolz

At ang susunod na panalong kainan duon ay ang Delongtes!!! Panalo! Bottomless liempo, panalong rice at bottomless Iced tea for Php175 lang!!! Kalurkei talaga! Panalo pa pati yung sarili nilang jingle! Hanggang ngayon natatawa pa rin ako at naaalala ko pa rin si Merci!

Gusto ko nang manirahan sa Davao!!!

Thanks to my best friend Aileen for making it happen! (hugs)

Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:01:00 +0000

The year 2008 had been great for me…I could say it is by far the best year of my life. Nope, I didn’t win anything…well except for that raffle during our company’s Christmas Party last year…I didn’t have that much of a salary increase or anything like that but what I got was something that is priceless!

I’m talking about experience. I have quite a lot last year and new ones too. It was a rollercoaster ride. I’ve tried new things, did things that I wouldn’t even dream of doing.

I count my blessings this past year, despite all the tragedies around the country and the economic crisis my family managed to live through it with the help of Papa God of course! I give thanks to Papa God because no one got sick in my family…I mean wala namang serious illness.

I’ve met new friends and got rid of an old one…for good. Hindi na kasi siya nakakabuti pa sa buhay ko.

May mga stressful na pangyayari sa office but in general peaceful at masaya naman ang buong taon ko sa office.

My personal life has been better. Medyo mas napagtuuanan ko kasi ito ng pansin ngayon unlike before.

Looking back, this year 2008 had been a fruitful year for me…for the first time in such a long time masasabi kong hindi nasayang ang taon ko.

Ito ang taon kung kelan ako nagsimula uling bumangon.

Sa Totoo Lang...

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:56:00 +0000

Here are five interesting questions na naitanong sa akin nang minsang mangielam ako sa blog ng may blog...overdue na nga ito eh. This is supposed to be a meme pero tinatamad na akong i-copy-paste yung instructions and everything kaya ito sinagot ko na lang ang mga tanong na naibato sa aking direksyon. Kung wala kayong magawa...pakibasa na lang...kung ayaw niyo naman...sa window na ito may "x" button...paki-click na lang. :)

1) Maraming humahanga sa'yo bilang isang napaka-optimistic at matulungin na tao. Ano nga ba ang mindset mo tungkol sa pagharap sa mga problema?

Hindi ko alam na napapansin pala ang mga ginagawa ko para sa mga taong malapit sa akin, ang mindset ko sa pagharap sa problema? Wala akong paki-elam kung maging korny man ito para sa ibang tao (walang basagan ng trip!) pero sa totoo lang ang lagi kong iniisip kapag may problema ako ay ito…”walang ibibigay sa akin (problema) si Papa God na hindi ko kaya…/Hindi ito hahayaan ni Papa God na pagdaanan ko kung hindi ko ito kaya…" so basically yung faith ko bilang isang Christian ang nagmo-motivate sa akin para harapin ang mga problema kahit na napaka-hirap pa nito.

2) Ano ang nakikita mo sa sarili mo, limang taon mula ngayon?

Limang taon mula ngayon ay nakikita ko ang aking sarili na mayroon nang asawa… (good luck!)

3) Anu-ano ang mga priorities mo sa buhay, sa puntong ito?

Family ko, mapagsilbihan sila sa abot ng aking makakaya, to give a better life to myself, magkaroon ng sarili kong buhay with my boyfriend.

4) Kung sakaling hindi mo nakilala ang boyfriend mo, ano sa palagay mo ang magiging tipikal na araw mo?

Uh, madali yan eh, kung hindi ko nakilala ang boyfriend ko malamang sa malamang ang araw ko ay iikot sa ganitong routine…(weekdays) gigising ng 5am, kakain ng almusal in short magpi-prepare para pumasok sa opisina, sa opisina ang buong araw ko habang ka-chat ang mga best friends ko kung available sila, surfing while working tapos nun uuwi na pagdating ng 4:20pm oh kundi naman eh pupunta sa Giligan’s or manunuod ng sine kundi ang best friend ko ang aking kasama, kasama ko ang dati kong inaakalang mga kaibigan, then uuwi na mag-hahanda sa pagtulog tapos uulit lang ang araw ko. (Weekends), almusal pagkagising ng 8am tapos magsa-soundtrip, eat bulaga sa tanghali o di kaya naman dvd sa kwarto ko, pagkatapos ng eat bulaga manunuod ng kung anuman ang matripan sa cable kung wala naman soundtrip uli…ligo, kain siyempre…in short boring at monotonous ang araw ko.

5) Magbigay ng isa, iisa lamang, na bagay na naging dahilan kaya napatibok ng boyfriend mo ang puso mo.

Hindi siya natatakot ipakita sakin na mahal na mahal niya ako. (Coz most of us are afraid to show what we really feel towards another…boyfriend man yan o sa family members…siya hindi) mahal niya ako kaya pinapakita niya walang pakielamanan ng buhay quesejodang kung sino makakita basta importante sa kanya ay napaparamdam niya sa akin na mahal na mahal niya ako…kaninong puso ba naman ang hindi titibok kapag ganun?!

Naks!

Interesting 10

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 05:46:00 +0000

I haven't been blogging lately due to the demands of my work (ahem!)...I've been quite very busy lately. Pero dahil gusto kong makisali sa project ni Ms. Janet na Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2008 ito po ang list ng mga blogs na nakakapukaw ng aking pansin lately.

http://www.yougottech.com/

http://loveandromance-tashabud.blogspot.com/

http://www.blogniinday.com/

http://modernmariaclara.wordpress.com/

http://wherebloggersandhumansmeet.blogspot.com/

http://www.filipinovoices.com/

http://www.miss-write.com/

http://rincel-rebelprincess.blogspot.com/

http://esoteric-journey.blogspot.com/

http://www.itsngenius.net/

Hope you guys will find it interesting too. Mixture yan ng mga kwentong nakakatuwa, nakakatawa, nakakaiyak, politics, real-life, fiction at kung anu-ano pa. Kudos to the interesting people behind these interesting blogs! (Sorry sa pag-gasgas ko sa word na "interesting"...interesting naman kasi talaga eh! ;) )

My Guardian Angel

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Sun, 18 May 2008 08:54:00 +0000

Last Friday I went to a friend’s house with my crew just to hang out. After the super delicious meal that her Mom prepared for us nag-simula na ang kantahan! Of course I did not sing with the mic…nakikikanta lang. Ehehehe..shy type ang lola niyo eh!

Right after dinner sinerve na ng Mama ng friend ko yung Red wine sa amin…nahiya naman ako lalo kasi sobrang pag-aasikaso naman nila sa amin. Di pa ubos yung red wine pumasok na yung ibang mga guys na nag-iinuman sa labas ng bahay nila timing rin naman ang pagpasok nila kasi biglang buhos naman ang napaka-lakas na ulan.

When it started raining that hard eh kinalimutan ko na rin yung hopes na baka magkita pa kami ni Bakla. Since I won’t be going anywhere afterwards eh naki-inom na rin ako with my friends.

Before midnight we all decided to go home na rin. Sa may kanto isinakay muna ako ng mga friends ko bago sila umuwi. I am not familiar with that place and I was planning to take the cab home na lang but the thing is inaalala kong baka hindi enough yung barya ko at baka mabad-trip sakin yung driver pag binayaran ko ng 500 bucks.

Malas ko lang yung jeep na nasakyan ko eh pauwi na pala…gagarahe na. As a result I got in the middle of nowehere…nakonsensya yata yung driver matapos niyang tanggapin ang 20 bucks na binayad ko eh hindi rin pala ako makakauwi sa dapat kong babaan he waited for me hanggang sa maka-kuha ako ng cab.

Sa dami ng cab na pumasok at lumabas sa looban na yun nahirapan pa rin ako kumuha ng cab. Mabuti na lang dumating ang isang anghel! May papalabas nang cab noon eh pinara ko pero hindi siya nag-stop then suddenly binalikan niya ako at sinakay sa cab niya. Tinanong ako ng cab driver kung anong ginagawa ko sa lugar na’yun…apparently delikado pala dun sa lugar na’yun kaya lahat ng cab na papasok dun eh hindi na kumukuha pa ng pasahero from there…eh naawa lang daw siya sa akin dahil babae ako and it seemed na parang di ako taga doon sa lugar na’yun kaya niya ako binalikan. Madami daw kasing mangho-hold-up dun, snatchers at kung anu-ano pa.

I was very thankful at hindi ako iniiwan ng guardian angel ko. Sa sobrang takot at nerbyos ko tinawagan ko ang isang taong gusto kong maka-usap man lang bago pa may mangyaring kung ano sa akin.

10 Ways To Marry The Wrong Person

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Wed, 14 May 2008 07:30:00 +0000

(This goes out to you guys who are planning to get married and for those na rin who are in a serious relationship.)

10 Ways To Marry The Wrong Person
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a
serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To
avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10
insights.

#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after
you're married.

The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you
can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married.
As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to
change after their married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other
person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills,
and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on
character.

Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of
the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust".
Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's
character?

Here are four character traits to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more
important than personal comfort? Do I want to be more like this person?
Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does
she treat people she doesn't have to be nice to? Does she do volunteer
work? Give charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what she says? she's
going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does she enjoy life? Is she
emotionally stable?

Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a
child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

#3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a
woman needs most.

Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is
the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the
man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The
unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most
important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her
consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's
approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the
sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms.
Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman
once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are
experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more
experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When
the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife
pleasure, amazing things happen.

#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share common life goals
and priorities.

There are three basic ways we connect with another person:

1. chemistry and compatibility
2. share common interests
3. share common life goal

Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals
provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow
apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living
for," while you're single -- and then find someone who has come to the same
conclusion as you.

This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate --
two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose
and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

#5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too
quickly.

Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem
because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues.
Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not
inclined to make good decisions.

Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited
as a main factor. It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order to
find out if a couple is sexually compatible. If you do your homework and
make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have
to worry about sexual compatibility. Of
all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a
main reason why people divorce.

#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional
connection with this person.

To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do
I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by
this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone
because they own Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of
creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this
person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable?" Do I feel I can
rely on him/her?

#7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you
don't feel emotionally safe.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be
myself and express myself with this person?

Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close
friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry
makes you feel the same way!

Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to
monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will
view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly,
there's a problem with the relationship.

Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another
aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to
control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person.

Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's
a big difference between controlling" and "making suggestions."

A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for
their benefit.

#8. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the
table.

Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for
discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate
how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the
course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know
now, before making a commitment:

Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of
you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also
a way For you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you
can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

#9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape
from personal problems and unhappiness.

If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too.

Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If
anything, marriage will exacerbate
them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility
to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future
spouse will thank you.

#10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in triangle.

To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or
something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who
hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of
triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as
work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money.

Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person
caught in the triangle cannot be fully
emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority.
And that's no basis for a marriage.

Part 2 Nung First

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 12 May 2008 07:42:00 +0000

We had dinner at Giligan’s, Parksquare…we had some booze after…tig-isa lang naman kami ng Vodka Ice…well more on half a bottle sa kanya tapos sa akin 1 ½…medyo mababa ang tolerance ni Love sa alcohol kaya nung nakita kong tinamaan siya sa Vodka eh ako na umubos nung huling glass.

Then nag-coffee uli sa Seattle’s Best…ang favorite niyang coffeehouse…

Went home…( ;;) )

Nag-brunch sa KFC, SM Manila (pinagtrippan ang ilang mga tao dun…sama namin noh?! Si 2-in-1 and si “wedjoh”..LOL)…pinagkwentuhan ang pagiging bitter niya sa lugar na ‘yun. Gumala saglit.

Went to Robinson’s Place, Ermita to pass the time. Trip down memory lane na rin yun for us both…dun naman ako nag-share ng aking bitter memories…well not really! Ehehehe. Slight lang! Hindi na kasi kailangan sariwain pa ang aking pangit na past sa lugar na yun! :D Isa pa, ang weekend na yun ay laan talaga para mag-celebrate kami kaya hindi na dapat pang alalahanin ang mga ganung bagay-bagay! Oh yeah muntik ko na makalimutan ang kakaibang experience namin...sacred na pagpapaligo kay Buddha...nagsulat din kami ng aming prayer petitions sa isang heart-shaped na red cartolina...after praying at yung sacred ritual binigyan pa kami ng bracelet na suot ko ngayon...

Nagsimba sa Malate Church…(the best ang idea na ito ni Love!) sobrang saya ko!

Nag-snack sa Starbucks, Adriatico…

Finally heading home…nang biglang umulan ng pagkalakas-lakas! Good thing may umbrella ako! Pero medyo nabasa pa rin kami kasi nga malakas talaga yung ulan! We finally decided na mag-LRT – MRT na lang para hassle free at mas mabilis!

Since Mother’s Day I decided to buy ice cream for Mom…(hindi yun suhol dahil 24 hours na niya akong hindi pa nakikita ha?!!) LOL...whatta wonderful weekend! Thank you, Love! :-*

First

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:45:00 +0000

This was taken yesterday when I shared a late night dinner/snack with Love. Simply romantic! :)

December 15 (What Your Birthdate Means...)

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:48:00 +0000

Your Birthdate: December 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.

You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.

Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.

You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.

Your strength: Your intense optimism

Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents

Your power color: Jade

Your power symbol: Flower

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Single and Available.

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:27:00 +0000

I was on my way home when I bumped into an old friend yesterday. Antagal naming walang communication ng friend ko na’to and we haven’t seen each other in years!

Typical hi’s & hello’s, kumustahan at balitaan. He’s already married with two kids. Nagulat pa siya when I told him na I’m still single. He asked why am I still single and how do I manage to stay that way…he even asked if I have any plans to get married and start my own family…hmmm.

Naalala ko tuloy yung best friend ko…si Ding. Last year he came home from the States and I had a chance to spend time with him despite his busy schedule. Bonding session…kumustahan at in-update ang isa’t-isa sa mga pinagkakaabalahan namin over the years. Surprised to find out na pareho kaming single pa!

“Dim, tayo na lang yata ang single sa barkada ah?!” he said with that weird smile on his face.

“Wala ka bang balak?” dagdag pa niya.

I couldn’t help but laugh. I am so used to being asked that same question over and over lalo na tuwing may family reunion.

Simple lang naman ang sagot ko, “masaya pa ako sa buhay ko at ayaw ko pa magpatiwakal!” sabay tatawa ng malakas.

I don’t know if became bitter over the years, I don’t know kung nagka-phobia na ba ako…nadala? Basta ayaw ko pa. I told my best friend na mayroon naman akong balak pero sa ngayon ay hindi ko muna yun pinagtutuunan ng pansin. Why should I focus myself on that eh ni wala nga akong boy friend to begin with? I told him na if ever eh hindi rin naman ako basta-basta mag-aasawa dahil sa hirap ng buhay ngayon dapat at least may konting ipon at dapat may sariling bahay na titirahan kahit na maliit lang basta yung property na talaga namin at ayoko makipisan sa parents namin or kung kanino, mahirap din mag-rent lang kasi sayang naman dun lang mapupunta ang pera…kung rent-to-own pwede pa!

Truth is I am still beginning to enjoy my single life…my freedom.

*Disclaimer: This entry was written couple of months ago...(back when I still don't have a boy friend). I'm still single but no longer available.

Almost the End...

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:41:00 +0000

Last Saturday I had a big fight with Bakla. We said things that we don’t normally say and I could actually feel na he was angry. He even said things that he never ever said to me before…he was friggin’ mad!

All because of one misunderstanding that led to a lot of confusion.

Lesson learned…never assume anything even if your intentions are good. I should know…I got beaten for wanting to spend more fun time with someone that I thought would enjoy it as much as I do, or would like the idea as much as I do.

...Oh well I'm glad we didn’t.

Break the Cycle...Can We Really?!

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:25:00 +0000

Nakakatawa lang naman ang mishaps at misfortunes, mga kamalasan kung hindi ito sa atin nangyayari. But when the joke is on us sobrang iniinda natin ito like as if it’s the end of the world.

We really tend to complicate things and as to why…hindi ko ‘yan masasagot.

Bakla always say every Monday laging puro kamalasan ang nangyayari sa kanya…pati yung mga mishaps na inabot namin nung Sunday he blamed it on Monday…yeah…Monday is just around the corner at yun ang advance party ng mga kamalasan niya tuwing sasapit ang araw ng Lunes. According to him it’s always been that way. Destiny always conspires against him…but I don’t think so.

It only depends on how we see things. Like yung nangyari nung Sunday lahat ng kamalasan, bloopers at mishaps I believe had nothing to do with anything…with Monday or his own misfortune. Simpleng mishaps lang talaga ang lahat ng ‘yun and nothing more. Pati yung Monday routine niya ng mga kamalasang events I really don’t see it the way he does. Simpleng pessimistic lang kasi itong si Bakla. Diba ano ang sabi ng isang commercial…anong tag line na nga ba nun…ah! “What your mind can conceive your body can achieve.” Something like that. Which product or commercial that was from eh sorry hindi ko na maalala. Basta ayun same principle sana ang gusto kong iparating sa kanya…gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na kaya nangyayari ang lahat ng kamalasan niya tuwing Monday ay dahil nakatatak na sa isip niya na malas siya tuwing araw na yun…Why not break the cycle? I really hope maalis niya sa system niya ang ganung mindset.

Eh imbes na mainis ako at uminit ang ulo ko sa mga mishaps na inabot namin nung Sunday eh I decided to sit back & enjoy the ride na lang…since I can’t do anything about it anyway so why waste my time getting upset over it? I just chose not to complicate things na lang. Ewan pero normally iinit din ang ulo ko sa mga ganung scenario, and it would really piss me off lalo na kapag hindi natuloy according to plans ang mga pangyayari but since I am with Bakla I found myself just letting it all pass me by. I didn’t mind it at all. Yeah we spent so much para lang makarating sa MOA…nahirapan maghanap kung saan kami mag-di-dinner at hindi na palabas yung gusto kong panuorin pero okay lang as long as we are together. And I’m trying to change my mindset na rin kasi…hindi lahat ay nangyayari according to plan…to my plan, kaya kung meron mang changes iisipin ko na lang na yun ang nakatakda talagang mangyari…all I have to do is sit back and enjoy na scenic route.

Nah…don’t mind me and my scatterbrain post. I’m just ranting here.

It's Complicated

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:35:00 +0000

It’s been a while since my last post and I am actually glad na kahit paano ay mayroon pa rin naman palang naliligaw dito sa blog ko kahit na wala namang something interesting na mababasa dito. Some of my friends are wondering where I’ve been at kung bakit ako matagal nang absent sa pagba-blog…

I’ve been around…hindi naman ako talaga nawala at all. I haven’t been updating my Back Door but I was busy with my other blogs. I was busy “saving the world”. (as if I can) (figuratively speaking…)

Sobrang na-busy ako sa pagtutok sa kanila and it somehow made me neglect my own personal issues…

Ang haba ng intro ko…

Oh well…simple at iisa lang naman ang malimit na dahilan kung bakit nagkakanda-loko-loko at nasisira ang balanse ng mga mundo natin…love life!

Kaliwa’t kanan ang mga friends kong infected ng problemang ito ngayon…may mga na-i-save na ako from it…pero mayroon parin akong patuloy na binibigyan ng life support.

Ang siste…nakipag-break sa boy friend niya ang isa kong friend due to complicated reasons…end result she wants to kill herself when she realized that she couldn’t live without him pala! Ika nga ni Bakla, “bakit kayong mga babae makiki-pag-break kayo sa mga boypren ninyo tapos kayo yung iiyak-iyak pagkatapos?!”

Simple lang Bakla…kasi nga we love to complicate things.

Most times kasi we say things that we don’t actually mean. Kung bakit natin ito ginagawa ay hindi ko rin maipaliwanag. We can find a lot of reasons why we do this. It could be because we think its for the best at mas makakasakit tayo kung sasabihin natin ang totoo…maybe its because we can’t handle the truth…maybe it’s because in doing this it would somehow reverse the situation…like for example pagnaki-pag-break tayo sa boy friend natin eh iniiisp natin or inaasahan natin na hindi sila papayag kaya ba malakas ang loob natin na gawin ito, at kagaya ng observation ni Bakla tayo yung umiiyak pagkatapos dahil hindi natin akalin na papayag ang mga boy friend natin sa gusto natin na hindi naman talaga natin gusto. (Ang gulo ha pati ako na-lost dun!) (Oh well but I hope you get my drift.)

Why can’t we just say what we mean? Why can’t we just do what we want to do and not be forced to do things coz that is what the society expects from us…or dahil ito ang accepted ng standards ng society.

Sabi Nila Mahirap Ako Mapaniwala...

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 21:00:00 +0000

YOU OPENED IT,

YOU GOTTA DO IT!!

NO LYING!!

Do you have the following in your room:

Condoms:
nope.

Cell phone:
yep

Chair/stool:
yep

Book shelf:
used to.

Computer:
si Francis

Bean bag:
used to

pictures:
yeah.

Mirror:
mirrors! LOL

Skateboard:
used to.

Bed:
yeah.

Clothes on the floor:
sometimes.

Surfboard:
no.

Smoke detector:
no…mahirap lang kami. LOL

Piano/keyboard/guitar/bass/drums:
used to have my guitar hanging around.

Locking door:
yeah.

Bottle of water:
bottle of vodka…LOL (sssssh!)

Medals/ribbons:
ay! Nakatago yun sa baul ni Mommy. LOL

Awards:
nakatago din…di kasi importante yun sa akin eh.

Sport accessories:
no.

CDs:
ah yeah, nakatambak lang mga DVD mainly animes, Japanese/Taiwanese series/movies, me mga mp3s din…lots to choose from, hindi ko pa nga napapanuod yung iba…lalo na yung mga smallville. LOL

Flag:
No.

stop sign/any sign:
used to have a “restricted area” signage hangin’ somewhere.

Paintball:
No

Real Gun:
No

Cigarettes:
nope.

Candle:
yeah, scented.

Books:
uhuh…nakakalat sa paligid.

Nintendo:
nope.

Stereo:
nope,

Television:
nope.

Lighter:
yeah

Gum:
nope.

how many windows do you have in ur
room? :
2

What is the color of your walls?
greenish gray…sobrang worn out na yung bahay na tinitirhan naming hindi na makilala ang tunay na kulay…LOL.

Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?
wood

Do you get ready for the day in your
room or the bathroom?
my room.

What color is your bed sheet?
teka ha, isipin ko muna…(after 10 mins…) tan. (tagal kong inisip ah, di ko na kasi napapansin ang kama ko. LOL)

What's on your walls?
uh, let’s see…framed photo of Dimple nung bata pa siya, framed photo ni Anne nung college siya, framed photo ni Zai Zai (Parco White Day), pictures of Brandon Boyd & Alex Band…mga bf ko sa pangarap! LOL…poems na sinulat ko.

Has the opposite sex been in your room
before?
kung isasama sa count ang bro ko…yeah I think so. LOL.

_______________________________________________________

WRITE EXACTLY WHAT COMES TO YOUR
MIND, AND DON’T CHANGE IT

1. Your ex and you: sino dun? Yung una kasi…wala akong maisip. Malamang sa hindi ko kasi siya kausapin dahil binura ko na siya sa mundo ko…kahit na ayaw niya. Yung isa naman we remained good friends kaya nakikita ko kaming masayang nagku-kwentuhan sa Tagaytay, habang kumakain ako ng masasarap niyang luto at nakikinig sa mga kanta niya habang nag-gigitara siya. LOL.

2. I am listening to: Back to You – John Mayer

3. Maybe I should: work na.

4. I love: my family, friends, chocolate milk tea sa BT, peppermint mocha frap, horror films na nakakatakot, good hugs.

5. My best friends : my family, Ai, Harry at mangilan-ngilang close friends nai-co-consider ko na ring best friend.

6. I don’t understand: life sometimes…but then again it is never meant to be understood…it’s meant to be experienced. LOL.

7. I have lost my respect for: people who lies & cheats, yung mgataong mahilig lang mag-trip, at mga taong hindi marunong magpahalaga.

8. I last ate: ham sandwich ni Mommy & coffee.

9. The meaning of my display name is: my name in reverse.

10. God: Loves me.

11. Someday:we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you. (hindi nga ba?!) (LOL)

12. I will always be: Dimple kahit saan ako makarating.

13. Love seems to: be complicated para sa ibang tao pero the way I see it…it is us (mga tao) ang nagpapa-complicate nito. Things should be easy if we’ll only be true to ourselves. Kaya kung mahal mo ang isang tao sabihin mo, ipakita mo…pakatotoo ka! KElan ka pa kikilos pag huli na ang lahat?! LOL

14. I never ever want to lose: my family. At yung love ko…kung sino man siya.

16. I get annoyed: with people who only wastes my time.

17. Parties: not really into it.

18. Simple Kisses:means a lot.

19. Today I: will disappear.

20. I wish: we could go back to the way we were…but I guess wasn’t meant to be kaya nangyari ang mga bagay-bagay.

21. I woke up: nahirapan akong makatulog, maya’t-maya nagigising ako…

22. I dreamt of: lots of things. Ayoko nang pag-usapan pa. :D

23. I'm in:the office.

24. I want to: disappear for a while. (Huwag mo nang itanong sa akin.)

25. I hate: wala naman akong hate…maybe my katangahan/honesty.
_________________________________________

PART 1: BIRTH

Were you a planned baby?
>> sabi nila Mommy & Daddy! LOL

Were you the first?
>> nope, second.

Were your parents married when you
were born?
>> yeah!

What is your birth date?
>> December 15
_______________________________________

PART 2: THE FAMILY

Parents married or divorced?
>>married

Are you an only child?
>> no.

If you have siblings are you oldest,
middle, or youngest?
>>middle

Which parent do you get along with
best?
>> Dad.

Do you have step-parents?
>> nope.
_______________________________________

PART 3: THE FRIENDS

Do you have more than one best friend?
>> yeah

What do you like to do when you are
together?
>> with gurls…gurl talk ever! With guys…ah bonding ever…with both…just be crazy.

Do you share the same interests?
>> oh yeah.

Which friend can you tell everything
to?
>> ah…
____________________________________

PART 4: YOUR PERSONALITY

Do you have a low self esteem?
>> yeah…sa ibang mga bagay-bagay.

Do you get depressed about things
easily?
>> no…

Are you happy right now?
>>The past couple of days I was (pero ngayon dko alam if I should)…right now? Steady lang eh.

Do you live life to the fullest?
>> I’m trying to at the very least.
_______________________________________

PART 5: APPEARANCE

Are you comfortable with the way you
look?
>> yeah

Describe your hair.
>> lampas balikat, layered, with fringes

How do you dress?
>> like a guy…most times. :D

Were you a strange child?
>> very.

PART 7: RANDOM

Are you scared of growing up old alone?
>> nope…
_______________________________________

PART 8: THE OUTDOORS

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
>> homebody ako eh pero depende na rin siguro kung ok yung kasama ko…

Favorite season?
>> all saints day

Do you like walking in the rain?
>> ahlavit!

PART 9: FOOD

Are you a vegetarian?
>> wish ko lang.

Favorite food?
>> caldereta ni Dad, sinigang na hipon ni Mom, Adobo/pork steak na luto ko (lol), LuckyMe! Instant noodles na gawa ni RM.

What food makes you want to gag?
>> ah..wala naman. (Bhe?!) LOL

What is your favorite dessert?
>>cookies n’ cream ice cream / ref cake na gawa ko! LOL
___________________________________

PART 10: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight?
>>nope.

Have you ever been in love?
>>yeah, kahit ako capable nun. LOL

Has anyone ever been in love with you?
>> ewan ko…sabi nila pero mahirap ako mapaniwala eh.

Huli Man Daw At Magaling...Huli Pa Rin. LOL

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:38:00 +0000

I have been tagged by Ely (as always) with his year-end meme and I know it’s kinda late but I’m still going to answer the survey as promised! LOL sorry Ely for the delay! :)

Listed below are 20 questions from Ely’s MEME…I just changed 1…

Here it goes…

Are you in love right now? (No.)

What color do you like most? (black)

If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one? (The truth shall set you free.) LOL

Where is the place that you want to go to the most? (By the beach)

Which Part of you that you hate the most? (my being overly defensive most times)

When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do? (write, sing, will only talk to the person that I trust the most)

What are you afraid to lose the most? (my loved ones)

If you win $1M, what would you do? (Quit my job & invest)

If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Or would you keep it to yourself and observe from afar? (Been keeping it for quite some time.)

List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you. (kind, good sense of humor, hates corrupt politicians.)

What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? (aside from loving me, sincere, faithful, honest.)

‘Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most? (I got quite a few…right now I regret talking too much.)

Which type of person do you hate the most? (yung mga friendly-user)

What is your ambition? (To be able to make a difference in someone’s life.)

What is the thing that will make you think that he/she is bad? (if the person is a chronic liar and a no good cheater.)

If you had one wish, what would you wish for? (for all the negative thoughts/feelings disappear from me forever.)

How would you celebrate your New Year? (I just stayed at home coz I was sick…but I did watch the fireworks display by the terrace.)

Name one of body part that your hubby/wife or boy friend/girl friend tells you he/she adores? (He used to tell me…my eyes. Because they say things I can not often say.)

It would be 2008 in a few days, do you have a New Year’s resolution? (I don’t normally have any…I never get to do anything anyway…I do have a “to-do” list though. Mas effective kasi yun…it works for me at the very least.)

If your better half is cheating on you, will you forgive him/her? (No.)

Angels Or Devils

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 05:19:00 +0000

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all inside

And I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
Will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
And are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
And are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see

Well I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
And are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
And are we ever gonna come back down, come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

And if I were to give in
I'd give it up and then
Take a breath, make it deep
'Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one that could make us cold
Could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

*will edit later. :)

Heart & Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:23:00 +0000

This is how the meme goes -
1. Take a screen shot of either your Top 25 Most Played / 25 Recently Played / Top Rated songs on your music device.
2. Post them on your blog and explain yourself.
3. Copy these instructions and tag your friends! :D

My sister Ai tagged me again sa isang napaka-interesting na meme na ito!

Okay, so this is my play list for the day & as you can see there's my top 25 songs...and now I have to explain myself as to why these are my top 25 songs...ehehehe...I can go on and on with that! :D

Number 1 sa playlist ko “You’ll Be Safe Here” ng Rivermaya with Rico Blanco on vox…bakit ito ang top 1 sa playlist ko?! I listen to this song or should I say isa ang song na ito na I listen to whenever I want to feel loved. Every time I feel down & discouraged this song makes me feel better…ini-imagine ko na lang na someone’s singin’ this song to me. :D Baliw eh noh?!

I love alternative rock music…ewan ko ba some people say they don’t like it kasi puro noise…lalu pa yung mga heavy metal na talaga! Well I find it (the genre) interesting to listen to at talagang hook na hook ako sa ganung type ng music kasi behind all the noise…(di naman lahat kasi maingay) eh isang malupit na lyrics na talaga namang tumatagos sa katauhan ko ang meaning…bands like Evanescence, LinkinPark, U2 and Keane ang ilan sa mga faves ko. (but I can only listen to them at home or sa phone ko or mp3 or pag wala akong bantay! :D)

*Wait lang lemme get back to you on that!

My...December.

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:34:00 +0000

Got this from Fat Ely's blog. :)

The rules:

1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth.
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you've done it!

December po ako. :)

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

=================================================================
The Twelve Months

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Now, anyone who wants to do this is more than welcome. :)

I Won't Let Go

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:39:00 +0000

Thanks Ely for another tag!

3 things that I will not let go…no matter what!

My Family and friends – just like Ely, I’d die if I lose them. Whatever happens to me, no mater how many times I stumble & fall, no matter what…its THEM who will always love me and support me. It is THEM who will welcome me with arms wide open that is reason enough for me…I couldn’t even think of losing any of THEM.

My principles & beliefs – I can’t & I won’t let go of the things that I strongly believe in especially if the purpose is “just to please” someone. Di naman sa sarado ang utak ko sa opinion at paniniwala ng iba but I have my own principles I have my own beliefs and I won’t bend nor break just because someone said so.

Love – yes! As long as I can still feel the things around me…no matter how many times I have stumbled I will keep on loving…I will keep the flames burning inside of me coz if I don’t and if I let love disappear from me…I will end up in the darkest side of the universe with no hopes & no dreams…just me & my stupid regrets.

(Sentiness aside that is what I have learned matapos nadapa ng madaming beses. Although there are times na sa sobrang hirap eh naliligaw ako ng landas & I tend to forget…good thing my family & friends are here to remind me.)

*Will edit later to post some pix! LOLz

Yan Ang Filipina

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 14:43:00 +0000

Kung ikaw ay Filipino ang maikling article na ito ay para sa iyo. Kung ikaw naman ay isang banyaga o foreigner at nakakaintindi ka ng wikang Filipino para rin ito sayo nang sa ganon ay magkaroon ka ng mas malawak na kaalaman tungkol sa aming mga Filipina.

Maraming magagandang katangian ang isang Filipina bukod sa kagandahang pinagkaloob ng ating Diyos na maykapal at di matatawarang mga talento. May mga kaibigan ako sa ibayong dagat na nagtataka kung bakit nagkalat ang hindi magagandang imahe ng isang Filipina sa cyberspace gayong hindi naman ito ang tunay na mukha ng mga Filipina. Ayon na rin sa kanila ay tayong mga Filipina ay mga “remarkable” people dahil sa nakita nilang ating angking talento at katalinuhan sa maraming aspeto at larangan ng industriya at agham.

Naisip kong isa-isahing banggitin ang mga sikat na Filipina sa loob at labas ng ating bansa at ipagmalaki ang kanilang mga achievements para sa kaalaman ng buong mundo pero mayroon akong naisip na mas magandang paraan para maisalarawan sa inyo kung ano nga ba ang katangian ng isang tunay na Filipina.

Napili kong sumulat tungkol sa isang Filipinang malapit sa akin, sobrang talino at mayaman sa talentong kanya namang ginagamit para sa ikabubuti ng kanyang pamilya lalung-lalo na ng kanyang anak at sa ikararangal na rin ng ating bayan.

Siya ay nagmula sa isang marangyang pamilya na sa kabila ng paglipas ng panahon ay naniniwala pa rin sa mga tradisyong tatak Filipino. Bukod sa pagiging isang mabuting anak siya rin ay isang mabuting Kristiyano at aktibo sa kanilang simbahan sa katunayan nga siya ay miyembro ng kanilang church choir at sumusulat din siya sa newsletter ng kanilang simbahan. Isa siya sa mga taong sumusuporta sa layuning kontra sa abortion.

Nagtapos sa isa sa mga kilalang eskuwelahan sa bansa (siyempre ‘wag na nating sabihing mayroon siyang master’s degree sa edad na ‘wag na rin natin sabihin…LOLz), at nakapagtrabaho sa ilan sa mga malalaking kumpanya sa lungsod bago pa man siya maging kauna-unahan at kaisa-isang Filipina country consultant ng google.

Pero bago niya marating ang kanyang tinatamasang tagumpay ngayon ay kataku-takot na hirap muna ang kanyang pinagdaanan. Pero hindi siya sumuko bagkus lalo pa siyang nagsumikap para lang maabot ang kanyang kinalalagyan ngayon. Ang isa sa mga pangarap niya na siya namang nagsilbing driving force niya sa kanyang pagsisikap ay ang mabigyan ng magandang kinabukasan ang kanyang anak.

Taimtim na panalangin at pagtitiwalang hindi siya pababayaan ng Diyos buong tapang niyang hinarap ang bawat pagsubok na dumaan sa kanyang buhay. At dahil na rin sa isa siyang mabuting tao kung kaya naman mayaman siya sa mga kaibigang nagmamahal sa kanya ng lubos…mga kaibigang nagsilbing witness sa bawat tagumpay at kabiguan niya sa buhay. (at ngayong may "Sweetie" siyang sobrang mahal na mahal siya alam kong wala na siyang mahihiling pa!)

Ang taong ito ay sadyang matatag dahil sa kabila ng mga pinagdaanan niyang kabiguan sa career man o sa pag-ibig ay hindi siya sumuko. Dahil lagi siyang naniniwalang may kapalit na maganda ang bawat sakripisyo at paghihirap niya…eh well totoo naman.

Ngayon isa na siya sa mga tinuturing na icon ng mga bloggers, maraming mga executives ang nagpapaturo sa kanya kung paano mag-blog. Isa rin siya sa mga tinuturing na expert pagdating sa Internet & Mobile Marketing. Ilan lamang yan sa mga di matatawarang achievements niya.

Maraming magagandang opportunities para sa ibang bansa na siya manirahan at duon na rin ipagpatuloy ang kanyang career pero sadyang mahal niya ang Pilipinas at dito niya nais na manirahan.

Bukod sa pagkanta mahilig din siya gumawa ng mga kwintas at bracelet na yari sa beeds, mahilig din siya sa OPM o Original Pilipino Music. Masayahing tao at mapagmahal sa lahat ng kanyang mga kaibigan laging handang tumulong…yan si Aileen Apolo ang best friend ko…at para sa akin siya ay isang magandang imahe ng isang tunay na Filipina!

Oh dibah yan ang Pinay! Proudly Pinay! At kung nais pa ninyo ng mas malawak na kaalaman tungkol sa mga Filipina huwag kayong mag-atubiling puntahan ang link na ito. At sa mga kapwa ko Pilipino kung nais din ninyong ibahagi ang inyong sariling opinion at kwento tungkol sa atin at nang makilala ng buong mundo kung ano talaga ang tunay na mukha ng mga Filipino sumali at sumuporta sa Filipina Blog Writing Contest at puntahan ang link na ito para sa mga karagdagang detalye.

Mabuhay ang mga Filipina!

Random Facts

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:23:00 +0000

Another Tag from Ely...thanks Ely for tagging me! :)

The rules:

1. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
2. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
3. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

8 Random Facts About Me...

1. The name "eilanna" is actually my name in reverse.

2. I don't leave the house without my portable mp3 player...

3. I can't sleep with the lights on.

4. I love the sound of an acoustic guitar at trying hard na matuto mag-gitara. Marunong ako kaunti lang...rhythm lang...strumming. :((

5. I cry whenever I listen to the song, "Take Me I'll Follow" by Bobby Caldwell.

6. I love chocolates.

7. Backstreet Boys - my all-time favorite boy band. (Yeah!) Magaling kasi sila mag-harmonize. :)

8. I love anime! (Samurai-X [series & ova], Fushigi Yuugi, Yuyu Hakusho, Eight Clouds Rising, Blood+, God! Save Our King, Chobits, Sakura, Tactics, Haruka, The Prince of Tennis, Chrono Crusade, Colour Cloud Palace, Death Note, etc.) to name a few. :)

Now I'm tagging the following people...Ai, Harry, Chel, Weng, Cel, Bing, Jen & Quel.

Desktop

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:10:00 +0000

I have been quite busy lately that I was not able to go blog hopping...but now that I have a lil time to spare I managed to visit few of my favorites...at ito na nga I just found out na I have been tagged by Ely and I'm supposed to post in here my desktop...ehehehe...(nakakahiya)

Nakakahiya kasi medyo late na ang aking reply sa meme ni Ely and nakakahiya rin kasi makikita na ng ibang tao ang aking desktop...oh well may kwento yang desktop ko kung bakit yan ganyan...

So here it goes...

The guy in the picture is Matsumoto Jun he's a member of this jpop Boy Band "Arashi" and napanuod ko siya sa "HanaYori Dango" an anime manga turned live action drama...it's a Japanese TV Series...at first I didn't find him cute at all but as the series go along...na-realize kong cute pala siya kaya naman ayan nasa desktop ko na siya to brighten up my day...everyday! Hehehe...babaw eh noh?! Then makikita rin ang aking YM...madalas naman akong online naka.."invisible" mode nga lang lagi, at ang huli ay ang aking winamp...si Battousai ang skin kasi adik ako sa anime na "Samurai X". And if you're wondering kung anu-anong songs ang nasa playlist ko...yung folder ni Harry na puno ng "kasentihan" ang current playlist ko. Hehehe..

Weekly rin ako kung magpalit ng desktop...kung anung mapagtripan...madalas anime inspired ang design.

Now I'm tagging anyone who wants to share their desktops...(tamad mag lagay ng link! LOLz)

A Rainy Morning

noreply@blogger.com (Eilanna) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:45:00 +0000

It was unusually cold and dark outside when I woke up this morning. I wasn’t so happy when my alarm went off telling me that it is time to wake up and get ready for work! Paano naman kasi napuyat na naman ako sa paggawa ng compilation ng mga songs na nakaka-relate ang mga kaibigan kong “in-lababo”.

Finally I got myself out of the house…kahit na aantok-antok akong nag-almusal nung nakaligo naman na ako ay ayos na buhay na ang dugo ko! Ready na uli to face the day! Eh ang kaso mo, pagdating ko sa may kanto ng Masilang hindi ako nakasakay kaagad. Punuan ang mga jeepney tapos ang karamihan pang biyaje ay hanggang tulay lang…mas ok sana kung biyajeng Taft para dun mismo sa may MRT station ako bababa…pag ganitong maulan at papunta pa lang ako sa aking patutunguhan eh hangga’t maaari umiiwas akong maglakad sa ulanan!

Pero wala akong choice…hindi talaga maiiwasan ang ganitong bagay at pagkakataon. Finally nakasakay na ako ng jeep. Bago pa man kami nakarating sa tulay mayroong isang babaeng sumakay, marami siyang dalang gamit. Sa tapat ko siya naupo at kumusta naman ang kanyang payong…tumutulo pa at halos itapat pa niya sa akin! Gustuhin ko man na pagsabihan siya ay hindi ko na ginawa dahil naawa ako sa dami ng kanyang dala…at siyempre di naman niya siguro sadya na paliguan ako uli! Haha.

Maayos naman ang pag-akyat ko sa 3/F ng MRT station…walang pasaherong nagpasaway sa elevator…yun tipong overload na eh pilit pa rin niyang isisiksik ang sarili niya…haaay. Salamat naman.

Un lang pagdating ko sa 3/F merong babae sa unahan ko na inaantok pa yata…pasencya na po at talagang nagmamadali lang ako…malapit na kasi akong ma-late! And times like these eh wala akong kinikilala…lahat nilalampasan ko kahit na kakilala ko pa…mabuti na lang at nagdecide akong mag-sneakers na lang dahil naging maginhawa ang aking pagtakbo kanina…hindi naman ako nadulas. At inabot ko ang train…salamat naman! Umasa ako na aabot pa rin ako…

Ang problema pagdating ko sa Magallanes Station walang mga FX papuntang FTI or Gate-3 man lang. Kaya sige lang ako ng walkathon paputang kabilang kanto para mag-jeep yung biyajeng FTI or Gate-3 din. Mabuti na lang at pagdating ko sa may kanto ay meron nang jeep na naghihintay…minsan kasi wala! At dali-dali akong sumakay doon…halos puno na nga pero may space pa naman para sa apat! Thank God! Sa pagmamadali ko ay hindi sinasadyang tinamaan ng aking siko ang babaeng katabi ko…(sorry talaga Miss! Di ko sadya! Sana naman ay hindi ka nahilo!) Ok na sana kaso…may naramdaman akong bumabangga sa aking braso sa banding kaliwa ko…nang tingnan ko kung anu yun ay hindi ko malaman kung tatawa ako o maiinis. Yung isang babaeng katabi ko ay nakatulog na sa biyaje…(tsk! Kawawa naman! Siguro puyat din sya kagaya ko!) Pero naman! Alam kong mataba nga ako pero do you really have to make it THAT obvious at gawin akong air bed?! Hahaha! Kung hindi ka lang babae malamang ay inihagis kita palabas! Ehehehe…kidding. Pero mabuti na nga lang talaga at babae siya kundi the maldita in me would have taken over at pag nagkataon…riot yun!

Wala lang simpleng nagkukwento lang ako ng mga naranasan ko kanina… hehehe

Morals of the story….

matulog sa tamang oras! (wish ko lang!)

Wag nang pilitin na mag-send ng sms kung wala rin namang signal sa kwarto nang hindi nakakadagdag sa puyat! (arrgh!)

Gumusing ng maaga at bilisan ang kilos nang hindi na-le-late! (Yep na-late ako ng 1 minute! Saklap!) Hehehe.

Kung hindi kayang gumising ng maaga…maghanda ng pang-taxi! (Meron naman tinamad lang mag-taxi! Hahaha! Takot din!)

Share ko lang! :D