PATABIT

Smiles...On the Cheap...Pass it On

2014-08-18T18:48:00.001-07:00

I’m just going to warn you right now, this is going to be a stream of conscious or in my case lack of conscious piece. I was backing my CRV (not one of those stupid big ones) out of the parking space at Albertson’s supermarket and checking for people I might accidently run over.

I saw a lady two spots to my left loading her trunk and paused to consider her and smiled. She looked back surprised and grinned.

I don’t know why I thought I might run her over. It would be quite a feat if I did. My vehicle would have to go sideways and accomplish a 180 degree turn. You never know.

Ever since I backed out and tapped someone’s bumper a bigillion years ago I’ve been hyper-vigilant.

I looked over my shoulder at a couple in the lane behind me, which included a nice lady who had complemented me as I left Albertson’s. I had smiled at her as we were walking to our cars.

She brightly responded to the smile, “I love your blouse.”

“Thanks, I said. “It’s so comfy.”

“It looks it. When the wind blows, it moves; you must get plenty of air.”

“I do.”

I wanted to tell her that on top of that, I was just wearing a black tank top underneath and no bra which made it really comfy. On top of that, because of the cut I believed it made me look thinner or less fat and that I can’t remember where I bought it, but I didn’t think it was expensive. But I kept going and smiled.

She was loading her car with a man who might have been her husband, secret lover, roommate or brother.

I can get into it and people don’t need to hear it all. I have to keep my mouth in check and it isn’t easy.

I have a point to this and it has something to do with smiles.

Several weeks ago I wasn’t in a great mood and was pushing my cart to the car. I parked it behind the trunk. A young man appeared and walked towards me around the car next to mine.

My suspicious social worker and correction’s background trained mind gave him a hopefully “I’ll kick you’re a……..” glance to be sure he wasn’t a thieving murderous punk.

“Can I take your cart back for you miss?” he asked with a nice, not at all druggie looking smile.

I finished unloading and surprised said, “Yes, thanks so much!” (The miss endeared him to me.)

He took my cart and pushed it to the ‘proper cart parking space’.

He certainly cheered me up and renewed my faith in young men.

I pulled out aiming my car down the lane to leave and noticed him walking back to the car that had been next to mine. He pulled out keys and opened the door. So, it was his car.

Whether he took my cart because he was afraid this insanely beaming lady would dump it unceremoniously (maybe he thought I was on old lady drugs) and the cart would drift and ding his or he didn’t want to wait for me to push it to a safe spot or he was just a gentleman, I’ll never really know.

But, I think he was just a nice man.

And, that’s how I see my world. It’s a world of preferred kindness, of people who do the right thing, of people who respond to smiles, of people who need and want smiles, of people who will smile back, if only given one. It takes one to get one.

Last week, I was leaving Albertson’s with groceries; walking with an umbrella in rain and thunder.

Approaching my vehicle a man hopped out of his and smiling and said, “You must have been a girl scout, you’re always prepared, aren’t you?”

“Well no, I’ve already gotten drenched” I laughed.

I had come from my doctor’s, just around the corner, and impatient to leave because I can’t sit still and wait; braved a five second walk in a lightning and wind driven downpour to my Honda to make a quick stop to the grocery before driving home.

I brought the umbrella I always kept in the car into the grocery. I left the house with straightened blow dried hair and now had a messy, damp bob. But, I was the only person leaving the supermarket slowly, casually, unperturbed, with an umbrella.

“Well, you girl scouts are always prepared.”

I smiled. I have had to learn not to explain that no, I didn’t know we would have a sudden violent lighting thunderstorm...blah…blah. Damn it, yes I am a girl scout.

I notice when you smile at people even if they don’t smile right away, they smile back. More often, they smile right away. And I think a good smile makes everyone feel better.

When I was in my 20’s, men (never women) would say, “Smile, you have such a pretty face”…or, “why aren’t you smiling”…or some variation of that…and I would smile.

For some years in my 30’s or 40’s I’d ponder that. Why would these strangers tell me to smile? How annoying? Who the hell are they to say that to me, they don’t even know me?

Funny how life comes full circle. I don’t like people telling young people to smile. They have their own lives and young girls aren’t puppets who have to smile on cue. But, I understand.

At my stage of life, I find that a smile helps many other people, especially older people, especially people who are alone, especially older people, especially younger people, especially people who need validation, especially children, especially babies, especially abused children, especially people who’ve had really difficult lives, especially anybody, so I am giving them out for free, so screw it.

Smiles are contagious. Babies smile and you can’t help but smile back. I’m not a baby. But I can smile too. I get around more than they do. I’m sure you do too. Spread the smile and live the life. And forgive my inability to focus. It’s a part of that smiley charm.

Are you trying to find your Irish roots?

2014-07-10T18:58:00.001-07:00

I don’t mean your dark, blonde, or gray roots; I’m talking your Hibernian or Celtic roots. Well, let me share with you some on-line resources to help you. Many are free. The ones I’ve listed below that are not, I have annotated as such. Site such as Ancestry.com of course, are not free and you do need to have some idea where your ancestors, Irish or not, came from and ideas of dates and areas of birth and/or residence to make progress, but they can be very helpful if you can spend the money and might be a good kick starter place. You can keep the information once you leave the site after your subscription ends.

Good look with your search. Check back with me in the future for how to find your Mexican and Hispanic roots as that is my next venture.

1: Ask About Ireland Griffith’s Valuation – A free searchable database of tenants and landowners in Ireland from 1848-1858. A great resource. http://www.askaboutireland.ie/griffith-valuation/

2: Irish Geneolgy.ie This just came on-line and is free. I haven’t used it much yet, so can’t vouch for accuracy as yet or usefulness. http://www.irishgenealogy.ie/en/news/46-indexes-of-the-civil-registers-now-launched

2: Family search.org This is actually another search site of the Latter Day Saints, who do the Ancestry Site, but it is free, but it has different records…oddly, and it has free family tree software and an option…if you chose to upload your own family research for other people to compare their records to. https://familysearch.org

3: National Archives, census of Ireland Now has records, earlier ones more limited, for the years 1821, 1831, 1841, 1851, 1901, and 1911. The earlier records are very limited, but helpful.

4: From Ireland.net Free Irish records search Has sections on different counties, plus one large one on Dublin; sections on civil records and gravestones, etc. http://www.from-ireland.net/

6: Find my Past http://www.findmypast.com/

7. Bob’s genealogy webpage Free record search http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~hiflyte/index.htm

8. The Landed Estates Web site A free searchable, online database of all Landed Estates in Connacht and Munster, maintained by the Moore Institute for Research in the Humanities and Social Studies, National University of Ireland, Galway.

http://www.landedestates.ie/

9. Rootsweb Guide to Irish Genealogy A guide to Irish genealogical research is a project of the Fianna Study Group for Irish Genealogy and was begun as a study project for Genealogy Course #33 at Virtual University for the fall 1997 term, and is being added to constantly. Searches are free.

http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~fianna/

10. Ellis Island Web site Free search of emigrant arrivals http://www.ellisisland.org/

11. Failteromhat General free Irish search resource with varied banks of information including lists of Irish flax growers and their home regions, land owners in 1876, and multiple trade directories

http://www.failteromhat.com/

12. United States Government family research and genealogy research website

http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/History-Family.shtml

13. The National Archives US Government on-line searchable database includes United States Census records, military records, etc. http://www.archives.gov/

14. Compilation of Genealogy Search Links for Irish Counties http://www.censusfinder.com/ireland.htm

15. Ireland’s history in maps Ancient maps of Ireland’s topography and counties

http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~irlkik/ihm/iremaps.htm

16. Roots Ireland Lots of information and links, but searches aren’t free; take a look anyway for yourself. Great if you need help with things like Irish naming conventions, pet names and translations and/or are looking for official records and need the on-line links to go to. https://www.rootsireland.ie/index.php?id=29

17. Leitrim Roscommon Genealogy Page Free searchable on-line search site with links for other Irish and American websites for family searches

http://www.leitrim-roscommon.com/index.shtml

18. My Naughton Family line in Ireland A webpage built by Bill Naughton, who was researching his own family roots in Ireland. He gives a wonderful history of the Naughton family/ancient tribes in Ireland back to ancient times and illustrates how he went back several generations to find his routes. A very helpful man.

http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~naughton/mynaughtons0808.html

http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~naughton/

19. The National Library of Ireland http://www.nli.ie/

20. Irish Genealogy Toolkit http://www.irish-genealogy-toolkit.com/Roman-Catholic-baptism.html

21. Genealogy Forum http://genforum.genealogy.com/

22. The Irish Times http://www.irishtimes.com/ancestor/browse/counties/civilmaps/

23. Irish Heritage Links http://www.courts.ie/Courts.ie/Library3.nsf/pagecurrent/E62E7463D524ACC980256DF800499204

24 Ireland Genealogy Projects Online http://www.igp-web.com/IGPArchives/index.htm#gsc.tab=0

25. Cyndi’s List Free Genealogy Link List http://www.cyndislist.com/

26. Genebase http://www.genebase.com

Ancestry.com

2014-06-16T16:28:00.002-07:00

I have an account on ancestry.com. I hadn’t planned to renew, but missed the date when my current subscription expired and thought I was good for another month. They renewed it for me! I didn’t realize they do this automatically. I will not be renewing again. Today the site has been down all day long.

At least twice a week, it goes down or gets tangled up in the midst of using it, for no reason at all. This isn’t due to my browser, I’ve used different browsers. I have contacted them in the past and tried contacting what I thought was their customer resource section and never got a response.

On television, the commercials make it sound, well, a happy person says, “Just type in a name and my family came up!” Please, not so much.

You actually do have to have some basic information, the more the better, like name, dates and/or estimates for births, locations and other associated relatives to find connections. I was lucky enough to know the area where my ancestors are from overseas and to have inherited basic genealogical information. Even so, I used census and information from many other sites to help me build the tree I do have now in Ancestry.

In Ancestry, I will get those infamous leaves (you’ve seen them in the television commercials) popping up during the most inscrutable times. For example, I will have put in John Doe, born 1897 in Fairfield, Virginia as an ancestor and will get countless hints about other John Does, born in the 1800s, in Fairfield, Virginia…or in England or a Doe Franklin born in 1987 from Vicksburg as a suggested match!

Ancestry has no way for you to search using combined information from two or three people to get a better match, so it is rather tedious.

Spelling is funny and records are missing that are available on their “sister” free site, Family Search. Org.

When you put in search criteria for spelling that is phonetically similar, you may get someone with the name Becky Johnson coming back when you are looking for Benson James. If I am looking for a particular name, and indicate I want that exact match, it will include other similarly named people, if they happen to be, let’s say, one of the witnesses, even if their date of birth isn’t displayed and they aren’t the subject of the record. So instead of getting 150 Becky Johnsons, you get 1000, because you will also get any person born, who happened to have someone stand up for them who had a name that was somewhat similar to Becky Johnson, like Beacon Jackson.

The records themselves are limited giving basic information, i.e. in a marriage record, the names of a groom and several possible brides, unless you are looking at a church record. Birth records show the place where the birth is registered, in for example Ireland, not where the person was actually born, and not the date they were born as births were registered quarterly since the mid 1800’s. A person could be born May 2nd and perhaps the parent or an uncle reported it that month (or next), but maybe it wasn’t registered in the official records till the next quarter, so your birth date comes up something like July-September, and the year.

Some records are shown to be available, but only if you access them through Fold 3, which you must sign up for and pay for. Census records you can get online for free yourself with much more information than you get on ancestry. One of the few valuable assets of ancestry is possibly bumping into other people researching your ancestors and meeting new relatives. It did happen to me, so for that I am grateful

It is very annoying though to experience a lack of accessibility to this site for which I am paying well for. You would think they would credit their “dues paying members” but they don’t.

Hey Ancestry, get user friendly, will you? People are talking and they’re not dead.

Have you seen the girl I was?

2014-05-04T12:22:00.002-07:00

Have you seen the girl I was? She looked somewhat like me.

If you see her would you let me know? I forget and need reminding.

I remember vividly the teenage me, that one I could do without…the agony, the ecstasy, the wonder, the yearning, the heartbreak, the rollercoaster…I couldn’t survive it today.

The girl of yesterday, the one of my 30’s and 40’s had a heart that would jump with joyous anticipation every time spring arrived.

You see she just loves the sun and all the things that she remembers that follow the month of May.

When she hears that old Beatles tune, “Here Comes the Sun”, she remembers the young girl who heard it for the first time and felt that sentiment so deeply.

She, I… still thinks fondly about the beach, the sand and waves and lazy pleasurable feelings you get just from laying on a blanket under a hot sun.

Today, I’ll think a little about how the sand scratches and the unpleasantness of burned skin as you put on some bit of clothing to get back to wherever you came from after your day of salt water.

I conjure up Cool summer evenings chilled by warm, slightly pink and tanned skin when I think of yesterday. I see nice dinners, balcony views, love, travel and warmth.

This girl got so happy and excited about Christmas and decorated the house for fun and for others.

But the last two years she set up the tree and couldn’t do the same for her spirit.

This girl lost so many people, as you do, once you reach a certain age that you don’t get to be with the same ones every holiday, you can’t even pick up the phone to call them anymore.

This girl used to have people over for dinner, liked to have an occasional party and looked forward to so many things.

Don’t get me wrong, life isn’t or wasn’t always fluffy puppies or cotton candy at state fairs. The child I was and the very young woman I was saw some sadness but life moves on anyway, doesn’t it? Things smooth out and you do remember the good things.

But today’s me persists in thinking the girl of yesterday seemed to have more surprises, gathered more flowery wreaths around most corners – that girl had the world ahead of her.

I thought I saw the girl I was the other day, but she just peeked out of the corner of my eye and looked around at my world today.

She stayed just a while.

Though I wanted her back, she dove under covers. I still look for her and wish for her company.

The woman I am today sees the senior I am becoming in the future, the older person I am today…no longer so sprite, so flexible, so filled with the future and possibilities.

The woman I am today lives so much more in the past and in memories, than the girl I was yesterday.

The woman I am today is so much calmer and happier in very simple things.

The woman I am today has so many more answers, but still can’t predict the future; some things never change, do they?

Today, I am happy on a rainy day and just sitting in my favorite chair, reading, doing a puzzle, petting my dogs, writing, surfing the internet, doing nothing.

I don’t have to be on the move all the time, or go someplace every day or have plans.

I still miss her, she was fun. But she could be tiring. She was always going somewhere. She thought too hard and too long. She let too much hurt.

There is something to be said for serenity. I’ve earned some wisdom and perspective. It makes life less painful, more measured, less dramatic.

I really have the time and the ability to stop and enjoy the butterfly flitting about, the tiny hummingbird in my yard, pretty colors, and a nice nap.

Now, tomorrow, I will blend the two of us and the new us, into me; WE will go forward into the exciting new future of my older years.

I don’t know how many I got, but who knows, I could be around 20 (hell I’d better be with all this yoga I do), 30, maybe 40 or more years.

Maybe, in another 20 years, I’ll meet another me and lust after the person I am today. In the meantime, I’ll just march on to my own little beat, be it ever so odd, it is me…after all.

How lucky am I, to be here, to think about this, to have been the girl I was and to keep on becoming the person I will eventually be.

Pat's Guide to Spring Organizing

2014-05-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

We’ve been in our house for 15 years and today I worked on cleaning out clutter in our office. The goal is to get some organization going. I’ve been getting around to doing this for about a year but one thing or another got in the way, like my lack of will. God help me, focus and order are not my strong suits.

I usually…sometimes… can lay hands on what I or someone else am looking for, but it might take an hour or day or two. Occasionally, I stumble upon a “lost” object long forgotten about several months after I’ve forgotten about it. Needless to say, I could use a new method of being…shall I say.

My husband thinks I have too much stuff. I won’t agree with that, at least not to his face, but secretly to myself I have to say that is part of the problem. But it’s not because I buy too much. It’s because I think I don’t have a particular item and buy it…only to find I do indeed have a pair or three of scissors, but one is in the junk drawer and I couldn’t see it, one was in the office under a pile of what nots and the other was in the bathroom drawer. Oh, well, you see my problem?

I do know all the rules of putting things back where they belong and making sure things have a home, I just don’t follow them. There seems to be so many other more pressing things to do…like, ummm...I can’t think of anything right now but I’ll let you know.

Anyway, I haven’t finished straightening out the office yet, but I did spend a good two hours on it today. I threw out a bag full of absolutely useful stuff and paper items I definitely no longer need; no one does. I set aside some articles to donate.

The result: my living room has one large plastic storage bin full of old work books, training materials and files, a wicker basket with some writing materials, an empty leather carry tote, two bins of photographs, a box of stuff to carry to the garage and a folder full of random paper stuff I must figure out what to do with.

I feel good. Tomorrow I organize the living room.

Annual Havanese Dog Spring Fling and Reunion

2014-03-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

I’ve been entranced with my Havanese boys and so preoccupied with getting into the rhythm of being owned by these creatures that I haven’t had time to write. Alright – truth be known - I’ve been a blooming sloth this year…it’s a periodic situation.

Anyway, this weekend, the boys, Miki and Finn, the husband (the “G”, he’s not into fame, so I omit his true identity) took to the highway at 10 a.m. Saturday and headed for Chandler. We couldn’t check into our hotel until 2 p.m. so we stopped for lunch at Uncle Bear’s Brew House Grill. We got there just in time.

The waiter told us there was a large group coming in at 1 p.m. and if we were okay with that, we could sit at one of the low tops, the rest of the available outdoor seating being high tops. Since we have midgety dogs, high tops don’t work well.

This family style, friendly eatery is dog friendly and has dozens of pictures of its canine customers framed on its walls. Finn and Miki were promptly served refreshing bowls of water though they slobbered for a burger.

About 12:15, we realized we were in the middle of an artsy event sponsored by an organization called “Uptown”. I cleverly deduced that, as people wearing tee shirts with the aforementioned name came in with easels and paints and began setting up. No matter, we had plenty of time to eat and the activity kept the dogs occupied watching.

After lunch, we headed to Mesa to visit the G’s cousin Vivacity, (an alias I shall give her so you can’t track her identity to deduce G’s).

Our demure polite dogs bustled right in uninvited as soon as the door opened, no introductions needed. V’s daughter, Angela, sat on a sofa in the living room and within a few minutes, Miki settled his head on her leg for a nap, only looking up, with reproach mind you, when she spoke and interrupted his dreams. Finn alternated between jumping between me and G, checking out Vivacity, cooling his boys as he sprawled double jointed across her kitchen tiles and clicking down the hallway to check out one of the bedrooms on the QT.

Later we set out to the hotel, explored and unpacked. We spent the weekend last year at this Windmill Suites across from the Chandler Mall with Finn and it was a good fit for us. The accommodations are dog friendly and provide a one bedroom suite with a kitchenette. Breakfast is free and includes a waffle grill, always a welcome amenity.

Curiously, at home Finn can’t jump up on our king size bed; he must be picked up, carried like the prince he thinks he is and placed atop it. Away from home he develops super dog powers and easily hops onto the bed. (Hmm…am I being had?)

We took a walk around the dog path and then had chill time before heading back out, this time to Glendale. What’s in Glendale you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Only the best German Restaurant in Arizona, Haus Murphy!

We try to make the trip way there at least once or twice a year. The food is authentic and great, with all the requisite schnitzel dishes, spatzles and red cabbage …along with great German beers, apple streduel and the yes…perky, but seldom experienced in the desert…OM PA PA BAND!

To make this an even more special place, they are dog friendly. The restaurant boasts an open air patio with about 25 tables. The waiter brought out a big mug with cold water for the pups and offered meatloaf, which they promptly accepted, but of course. Finn spent much of his time checking out the other patrons and trying to figure out what they were eating. Miki chose to hide out from the clamor so as to be closer to dad and dad’s food. They both appreciated, as they are true attention hounds, all the greetings and oohs and aahs from patrons – truth be known, they actively seek out notice.

Later that evening, after our after dinner walk, we watched TV, chewed on bully sticks and dessert.

Sunday morning we drove to Mesa for Lancaster’s annual puppy day and what I refer to as the Annual Spring Fling Doggie Reunion. Finn got to see his brother Joey, mom Coco and his first love Lucy. Miki was besieged with all his sons and daughters and loved seeing his people.

We headed back to Tucson Sunday afternoon and the two slept the whole way home. It isn’t easy being a dog with an active social schedule after all and one must get one’s rest when one can. They are happy to be back and as I write, they nap…as only dogs can do.

Missing Children - Isabel Celis and Hailey Dunn - What Now?

2013-09-09T10:57:00.002-07:00

Isabel Celis at age 6

Hailey Dunn at age 12

Isabel Celis disappeared from the bedroom of her family home over one and ½ years ago, on April 20, 2012. When her father went to wake her at 8 a.m. for an early morning baseball game, she was missing.

Her father called the police stating in a relatively calm voice, “ Um, I want to report a missing person. My little girl who's 6 years old. I believe she was abducted from our house.”

He was asked where the child’s mother is. He chuckled and responded, “"She had just left for work and I told her to get her butt home.”

Much is made of his demeanor and lack of tears in broadcasts.

Sergio was working as a dental hygienist at the time and also is a singer with the local opera.

Isabel’s two brothers are sad figures who desperately searched the neighborhood on foot and bikes to find their baby sitter in those first early hours. One hopes they’ve gotten support and counseling, it is hard to lose a sibling and not know what happened on top of that.

Isabel’s mother states she left at 7 a.m. for an early morning shift at Tucson hospital. Before leaving, she didn’t check on her daughter. She told news teams she wishes she had, but she just didn’t.

On news clips and on the initial call to Police she is near hysterical and clearly suffering. At times she becomes angered by the questions asked of her, those that question her ability to maintain her composure as the investigation continues. She tells reporters that she doesn’t have to cry every time just because it’s expected.

Who knows how any of us would act if our child disappeared?

Her home is surrounded by a concrete block fence about 5 feet high. The family had about 3 dogs in the home at the time. As she disappeared from her bedroom, her father fell asleep on the couch in the living room, not far from the door to her room. On the other side of her house, her two brothers slept together. Often, Isa would sleep with them in their room as she was afraid of being alone and liked being with her brothers. In another part of the house, Isa’s mother went to sleep in the parental bedroom.

For a brief time, police and child protective services had Sergio Celis leave the home. The public, of course, for privacy reasons, was never told why. The Celis’s have a large extended family locally and in Mexico. Sergio’s parents, Isa’s grandparents, live right down the block from the family.

On the morning the 6 year old was abducted from her home, a close neighbor claimed that they heard men’s voices arguing by the Celis home and the Celis dogs barking wildly.

The screen to the window in the child’s room was off the window. Police removed things and bags of “evidence” from the home. The public has never heard if anything turned up as a result of this investigation except that she hasn’t been found.

Tucsonans posted pictures of the missing child everywhere in Tucson, Marana and Oro Valley and vigils were held for months.

After 6 days, Tucson police wound down the wide neighborhood search and downsized the number of officers involved in the case. But, they kept the case alive and FBI analysts came in for the continued investigation.

In early may, Tucson Police Detectives contacted CPS concerning information regarding the safety of the two older boys in the home. CPS worked with the family on a voluntary agreement for Sergio Celis to move out of the home and have no contact with the children. The children stayed with their mother. Why? The public doesn’t know as family records are considered confidential, as protected by the laws enacted by our state legislature.

He may have been depressed or suicidal over the disappearance of his daughter, he may have been involved in drugs in some way or had associates who were, he may have been angry and inappropriate with his boys, he may have used excessive corporal discipline, someone could have reported something about the family….who knows? The agreement was voluntary and the children weren’t removed, the courts weren’t involved.

A cadaver dog and another specialized tracking dog hit on a foreign smell in the Celis home, but couldn’t determine the relation to the child’s disappearance.

A landfill was searched for the remains of Isabel in 2012.

The family hired a private investigator this year.

She turned eight without her family and I pray she is not hurting.

Recently, Sergio Celis said a family member has information or may have information about her disappearance, but this person obtained a lawyer and won’t talk to their private investigator. Can the police talk to this lead? Or have they already?

In the first few weeks of the investigation, the police followed up on about 1500 leads. Over a million dollars was spent. If I knew what I could do to help them, I would have, but we weren’t invited in. We’ve heard nothing since the early months. What’s happened since then?

The Celis family is very involved in their church. They have regular masses to remember and to celebrate their child’s life. Her mother is convinced she will be found and will come home safe.

Isabel is not the only child who disappeared mysteriously and without answers in the last 2 or so years. A child named Hailey Dunn disappeared in Texas a couple of years ago and has never been seen again. Most children who disappear are taken by relatives for one reason or another.

But not all. Stranger abduction is a reality. What is happening? Are children being taken to pay off drug debts? Are children taken for underground sex trade or child pornography? Who is out there with the missing children? The ones who hurt and kill children are beyond comprehension. Once you hurt a child, in any way, you shouldn’t be allowed to roam freely in society – my opinion. May not be yours, but I’d like children to be able to be innocent again and free to play on our streets and to sleep in their bedrooms.

We have to find them; they threaten us all. There are still monsters and demons walking the earth. I don’t want to believe it, but they are out there.

Now what?

Wrestling with Demons

2013-09-09T09:49:00.001-07:00

The Angel in the elevator shoved me from behind

He was tall with broad wings that brushed both walls

A crowd was in there with us, but they kept safely to the side

The Angel never said a word as my heels fought the path as I was dragged along the floor

My heart sunk as the doors opened and the floor below me disappeared a few feet away

We opened to only sky, endless. And only one way out

I had to fly. Could I? Do we all go out this way?

I’m terrified and feeling judged

Maybe it is my time to die

I shrieked and whaled against the cosmos, I’d sure been here before

Then I heard from somewhere, was it in my head? Not your time now.

The doors shut and clanked down opening at the main floor

Some left and how I struggled to go with them, but it wasn’t my fate

Before I could get to the front, those iron gates closed in again

No more angels surrounding me, but still not alone

More scared souls stood with me, as the door slid closed and down we rode

It opened to the darkness, more frightening than the sky

And I saw the boiler’s fire, garbage cans lining the length of the blacked out hall

No, I screamed, let me go…I will not be burned again

And as I cried in ultimate despair a higher power lifted me and gave me sweetened air

Prison doors closed and the shaft rose to the upper floor

My escape route beckoned

And though I feared the outside almost as much as the terror below and above

I know there are other routes that will put me in the ground - sooner

Here I have a chance – no longer on my own – the spirit is with me

And it will remind me so

TIME TO MOVE – WHERE DOES ALL THE STUFF COME FROM

2013-07-14T10:16:00.001-07:00

My big project the last three days has been to organize, redistribute, donate or/reattribute my belongings (to other productive uses).

When I lost one of my dogs Monday, I realized I have accumulated entirely too much stuff. It is my husband’s fault, of course.

He retired from an Active Duty Military career in 1999, dragging me to move to one location where I have been forced to gather 14 years of new and improved “gear” and clothing in one woefully inadequate 1714 square foot house. Not nearly enough room.

Did I mention I am a packrat? Did I mention he is even worse than me? My sweetheart has mementos, like his football stuff and gym shorts from high school. That, I do not have. I do however have at least 200 notebooks and assorted diaries of all my dribbling (that I can locate at this time under the piles and corpses). I have tiny travel notebook (nothing fancy, just like to refer to it as TRAVEL NOTEBOOKS) full of quasi interesting and funny observations and my wander at all the great beauties of the world I’ve been graced to see.

Lest I get back into the party mode, last one being only five years ago – I must hold onto raffle tickets, cute little trinkets for give aways, Hawaiian leis, funny horsehoe hats you can wear on your head…and all matter of stuff I pull out for my celebrations. Having only recently grown up, I fully believe your parties should be based in childhood joy, whether any actual children attend or not

Top of my world view list: Ireland, followed closely by Italy, followed by Scotland, England and Wales, then by California (all the beaches and Monterrey, the vineyards and the place with all the birds), the Carolinas, Cape Cod and Alaska…and 1000’s of pictures, memoirs, and dohickies I’ve picked up here and there. Never could turn down an interesting dohicky.

I do like to travel, but I hate to fly so it is a problem. Now if I could drive to Europe, I’d be there this summer and out of the monsoon heat and rain which is Tucson in July and part of August.

Anyway, I started out talking about the bits and pieces of life that stay with you in the form of possessions, objects, memories and souvenirs.

I have the weeniest little Scotch or is it whisky bottle in a tiny plastic package I got in one of those English speaking European countries (you know who you are) and I cannot possibly get rid of it. I keep thinking I should give it to someone for fun….but I can’t let it go. I have a collection of tiny plastic ducks, I love them and cannot part with them.

Ah, well, I’ve only had most of my travel souvenirs since 1998.

Over this past week I filled one huge 50 or 100 quart plastic bin and I’m about ready to toss furniture …. But the husband doesn’t feel it… Furniture out means furniture in, you know.

I’ve taken a serious and painstaking view of my closet and found sizes 4 (FOUR!!!!) to 18, all in this one section I call my own. I don’t know who the fat lady is but she needs to get her clothes out of there. And where is that toothpick women, the pantsuits need to go, especially the powder blue number. Get with it. Help, come with me to my closet and dig me out.

I have more tokens and treasure from where I’ve traveled. I have every card my husband has every given me. I also have every card every other person has given me going back about 15 or so years.

I’m in real trouble. I drown in paper and still have all my old training materials and such from various professional positions going back about 25-35 years. Someone, I need weaning.

I have a friend retiring August 30^th, and shall suggest to her that this shall be the project for her first year out of the work force.

I have towels in all the colors I’ve redesigned the bathrooms to when I really wanted to get new flooring or something, but couldn’t afford it. I wander, would the human society want these?

The lady at Goodwill knows me by name and recognizes my car. When I drive up loaded with things to contribute, she hides, as it’s a real back killer – even with me helping.

Honest to goodness, I always start out the big purge with good intents. However, the other little character trait I have – over which I have little control – is ADD and also OATABADD (Attention Deficit Disorder and Older Adult There’s a Bird Attention Deficit Disorder.)

Now, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, I’m exhausted just thinking about this and already frustrated so I think I shall procrastinate. It is Sunday and church day….which I will be returning to shortly, but for God’s sake don’t have a conniption, I do prayer nightly and frequently.

I think it’s time to read the Sunday paper and leave organizing to another day.

WE ARE ALL ONE HUMAN RACE ON OUR HUMAN PLANET: LET'S OPEN HEARTS AND TALK BEFORE WE DESTROY IT

2013-05-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

I’ve never understood why one group of people, one nation, one race, one political group, one fanatical group, one religious authority, one church or other worship organization, one sect or branch that has deviated from a standard religion, or any group of people with specific but differential beliefs would feel and expect that all other people on the planet or (most other people or just one nation or area of the earth) should think and act like them.

Nor do I understand how it is that it is thought very passionately by some people, nations, groups, religions, factions, or political affiliates that others are poisoning the Earth, or infiltrating their culture in a negative way, polluting the minds of their people, brainwashing their youth, defying the laws of God, destroying their religion, rights or views and thus these OTHERS should be punished, shunned, killed, isolated, run off their homeland, raped, jailed or disappeared.

There are some conflicts in this world that we, or I will just say I, will never understand as they are so old, so incredibly passionate and intense, based in ancient squabbles and lore with such buried fear, hatred, lack of tolerance and inability to communicate coupled with strict codes of beliefs and conduct, unyielding dogma, that it seems there is no room or real intent to allow for open dialogue, exchange of cultures or compromise.

I think we all have a Higher Power, no matter who you name him/her and/or where you think they reside….here, in Nirvana, in Heaven, in your heart, in your ancestors, or somewhere else.

I think and I hope that we might all agree that there is something called spirituality, though we may not see or practice it in the same way and that’s fine. Some of us have had to search for it; some of us had it and lost it and had to find it again.

I do believe there is evil in the world and that it will proliferate if we do not keep turning the light on and allow our hearts to be open and accepting. You cannot hope to bridge the gap between you and those you do not understand, or your enemy, or those you fear…or those you think may hate or fear you…unless you are willing to suspend what you think is right and true long enough to listen to what someone else thinks is right and true.

We must start somewhere. Let it start today….with me…with you…with us…we are one people, one world, this is our planet. Let’s save it together and make sure it is here for all our children.

If we cannot make peace with our peers, elders, other nations, religions, political groups or each other, please consider the repercussions if we don’t change - for the sake of our children and their children. Maybe we can start by just listening, researching, reading and learning and trying to understand the other and lose the fear of the differences that distinguish us from animals.

Our children will inherit this planet. We are the adults, their caretakers and protectors. They are the real innocents. We are the ones who should be giving the guidance and protecting, teaching and loving them and providing an environment wherein they will grow with open hearts and minds. To do that, we must first open ours.

And for This My Health and New Friends I am Grateful.....It is a Wonderful Life

2013-05-16T11:40:00.003-07:00

I am happy and grateful to say I am out of the woods. My Doctor started me again on a daily steroidal inhaler for my asthma which also acts as a 12 hour bronchodilator, this Monday. I had been advised at the hospital last Friday, May 10, to return to see my primary care physician in three days.

Luckily, I was able to get an ER appointment with her Nurse Practitioner, the great and only Kim, aka “P”. She also prescribed me a Z pack, antibiotics, as I was losing my voice and having other unfortunate choking and expectorant symptoms and do have a history of going from a mild set of symptoms to full blown bronchitis in a day.

On top of that, I was able to get an ER appointment with my allergist’s office, unfortunately and inexplicably to my, my 90 year old much loved allergist retired after having a stent put in his heart; those of whose who had been his patients for years waited three months for his decision as to whether he’d returned to work.

I was due a checkup in March, but waited. Alas, I got a letter from him, regrettably informing us he was hanging up his needles and such.

So, I had to see the new guy who may be about 30…or 20…or 40, I can’t tell anymore- everyone under 42, is an enigma to me now.

But this guy turns out to be brilliant and as hyperactive and talky and into research and naturopathic stuff as me, so we got along splendidly – and he gave me many website referrals, as well as referrals for nutritional stuff, vitamins and sprays and such, unfortunately we also have similar handwriting, so I am trying to decipher it before I go to Sprouts, or perhaps I shall just ask the staff there as they talk naturopathy and Aruveydic, speaking of which, I’ve become over the last year quite the Aruveydic enthusiastic myself, having been turned onto it by medical practitioner, probably the smartest, most caring, efficient and meticulous Doctor I’ve had in my entire life.

I bet that is the longest sentence you’ve ever seen and so not good in writing, but I’m in a hurry and need to leave in 5 minutes.

So, thus, things are looking up. And I know its cause I am looking up and I am thinking more clearly, becoming more honest with myself and taking better care of me: releasing myself from those things/people that are not good from me and trying to address past traumas that have caused me years of nightmares and PTSD.

It is my friends, a wonderful life and I plan to live and cherish every moment of it. You too. With love to my many friends, my old and new ones and to some of my old family and my newly found family.

May the wind always be at your back and all that….I forget the rest.

Seems I neglected to Title this article about Isabel Celis at the time, so it was never published, even though I pushed the button, so....better late....

2013-05-12T13:42:00.001-07:00

It seems the world is less safe for children. I don’t remember hearing constantly about children abducted, hurt, missing or abused when I was younger. Of course, it could seem that way as we are an instant information society, thanks to the media and the handy dandy in-home Internet tool which brings the world to us.

As a former Child Protective Services Investigator, I’ve seen up front and close what children can suffer at the hands of parents/family and caretakers. There are blatant abusers out there, those that enjoy hurting others or who have a need for power and control and those that have distorted thinking and perceptions. There are basically well meaning parent(s) who may be somewhat cognitively or emotionally deficient, those parents who are copying how they were raised and haven’t had good parental role models themselves and parent(s) involved in substance abuse and/or struggling with economics and providing for their children(s) basic needs.

Children are injured and also die as a result of accidents – on our roads and in their homes. They are hurt or killed due to criminal acts by persons outside the home – sometimes someone the parent knows and trusts and sometimes by strangers. Parental and family abductions account for the majority of missing children. Stranger abductions are relatively rare and account for about 24% of abducted children. Most stranger abducted children will have had some kind of contact with the kidnapper in the community.

During 2010, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, (see http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/investigate/vc_majorthefts/cac/non-family-abductions), law enforcement entered 692,944 children as missing into the FBI’s National Crime Information Center database. The majority of these children were temporarily missing and not abducted.

The FBI's Crimes against Children Unit provides a quick response to all incidents of crimes against children. They established the Child Abduction Rapid Deployment (CARD) Teams in recognition that the first few hours after a child is abducted are critical.

There is an FBI team here in Tucson, helping search for Isabel (Isa) Celis. I know we are all worried about her.

Being a parent isn’t an easy job. It seems harder today when children are exposed to so much more. But, there is help for worried parents on-line.

On the FBI website you can find the following resources: Innocent Images—Online Child Exploitation Investigations; Office for Victim Assistance; Parents Guide to Internet Safety and Safety Tips for Kids

The Polly Klaus foundation, found on-line at www.pollyklaas.org offers a FREE Child Safety Kit. Another helpful website is http://kidshealth.org. They provide information on preventing child abductions and what to do if your child is missing.

The U.S. Department of Justice provides these tools on their website (see http://www.amberalert.gov): AMBER Alert; Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section; Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention and Project Safe Childhood

On the U.S. Department of State website (see http://travel.state.gov/abduction/abduction_580.html) find information on International Abductions: Information on Child Abductions

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children website (see http://www.missingkids.com) offers: Child Safety Tips; CyberTip Line; International Child Abduction Assistance; and NetSmartz—Online Safety Advice.

Finally, the National Child Identification Program website (see http://www.childidprogram.com) provides information about how you can protect your kids with ID kits.

April is Child Abuse Awareness month. In 2010, Arizona Child Protective Services received more than 35,000 reports of child abuse involving about 54,000 children. According to information maintained by Phoenix Children’s Hospital, more than five U.S. children die as a result of child abuse every day. The Arizona Department of Health Services reported that 70 Arizona children died because of maltreatment in 2010 – over half of them were under one year old.

But, by far, accidents are the number one cause of death for children aged one through eighteen, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The rate of children dying by accidents has decreased significantly since 2009. The rate drop is attributed to the use of safety and booster seats.

Even so, every hour, one child dies from injuries incurred in fires, falls, drug overdoses and other accidents. More children are dying from prescription drug overdoses and from suffocation than ever before.

It is everyone’s job to watch over children. Child protection can’t be left just to CPS, or law enforcement or the parent(s). There’s too much at stake. Be alert, be vigilant and don’t be afraid to question, to call law enforcement or CPS with concerns and/or to report something that doesn’t seem right. Remember that old adage, “it takes a village to raise a child.” We are the village and the protectors of the future for all children – yours, mine, theirs, and ours.

The Land of Murk Where No Perks Lurk: To Survive Be Sure To Be A Jerk Not More Than Once or Twice or Thrice...Get Out of Your Own Way

2013-05-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days; I was in a haze powered by my juice,

I was contemplating how to build some big homes, many, some way, one day.

I knew they had to be efficient, economical, and safe and wanted a homey feel to cheer hearts in need,

So humans in the USA living in cars, store entrances, camping tents, washes, boxes, tunnels and the desert could have a private space safe from cold, sun and those that find them fun to hunt and kill.

I see beds with fluffy pillows and privacy curtains with a view to the sky, a personal fridge, microwave, and cooktop, a comfy lounger to watch TV, a small table and chairs to eat morning breakfast, a private bath with nice soap, lotion and cabinet space.

How should I design the family units? How many rooms? Would bunk beds for the kids allow me to help more people? Should I attach small fenced in yards to these units for the kiddies to safely run around?

Shall we have a community garden, a teen’s club, a fitness center and library, a basketball court, a children’s playground, a place seniors could play checkers and bocce ball and shoot the bull?

With head in clouds I stepped into some crumbly sandy murk, I sank so quickly to my waist before I could even say ferk!

I noticed then, too late, a BIG Flashing neon sign

“BEWARE Here No Perks Lurk”

Say what?

The whole murky, lacking perky perks place was surrounded by a three foot wire fence painted a brilliant green.

But, so it be, a certain faction of humans, such as me (why not), Is pulled into it in a magnetic attraction.

Soon a dude dropped in from the sky followed a few minutes later by a lovely young girl with tearing blue eyes….

We looked at each other mouths open, not sure if we had all suddenly gone down the rabbit hole in Alice’s story………..

Then a big, dude with a gladiator hat and white sunglasses swam up sloppily splashing us all with the murky murk.

“Hey man”, I said, “what the hell you doing, where are we, who are you?”

He smiled at me, and dude and teary blue eyed girl and said,

“Welcome to the Land Of Murk. Here there are no perks. You are in the swimming hole; we natives call it The Jerk.

Now that you’ve visited us once, you are a comrade of mine for life. But I hope once you figure how to get out, your next trip is better thought through. Cause I been here seven different times and have earned through unretentionability the Title of The Victim Jerk of Murk.

Every time I work it and get out, and I get it….I can’t resist them fecken perks you lucky jerks got out there in your neck of the Perky Out There Woods. You won’t drown here, don’t fear. Exercise that thing in your head, mines a little shrunken now, but I’m still trying.

Come and swim with me and I’ll show you some real Murky Jerks and you will find that you can step up and learn to keep out.”

We Need to Know Now Everything LE Knows About and Has Discovered in the Isa Celis Case.

2013-05-11T23:44:00.002-07:00

Isabel Celis, age 6, has been “gone” over a year now.

I started this draft of an article months and months ago. I had so many questions. We all did. The community stepped forward and plastered this child's face in every shop window, store, pole, and open space in Tucson, Oro Valley, South Tucson, Marana, and points far and near.

Lttle is heard about her in the local media the last several months. Why?
Shouldn't we keep her face and story front and center? Shouldn't we at least be told more about what the police found in the house, wht they took out in bags with their search warrant, why the father voluntarily left, rather than be faced with CPS getting a petition together to the County Attorney to force the issue and begin a different kind of investigation.

What about this cousin that was supposedly living there? The one with the criminal background that involved drugs. How come this little girl usually slept in her brother's bedroom, but that particular night she's sleeping alone in her bedroom? How come her father, who fell asleep in the living room, several feet from her bedroom door never heard a thing. How did her mother in the bedroom across and down that hall hear nothing? It is a one story home. the brothers heard nothing. There was about three yapping type dogs in that house. Did not one of them bark that night at an intruder who took that little girl out? Were they drugged? Or did they know the person who took her. Or did that little girl actually even land up in that bed in the bedroom to begin with?

Mommy didn't check on her before she left for work the next morning and three different times were quoted as to when she actually left. The older brother as far more frantic and emotinal about his little sister's dissapearance than the father and took off desparately on his bike searching for her. Sergio told the police dispatcher, after searching, he didn't report his daughter missing right away, nor did he say my little daughter is gone.....and asked about his wife, he giggled and said, I called and told her to get her butt on home.

Now of course I do realize people act differently under stress. But there is differently and there is bizarrely, unusually, and incongruentally. Becky, the mom, went on Television and abruptly told the reporter when questioned about not crying or seeming upset, that she doesn't cry in front of other people, she doesn't have to, and she isn't going to just cause people think she should. She was angry. Sergio put on this kind of meek puppy dog face and looked to her often as if for answers, forgiveness, direction, I don't know. Well, he's back home with the family. After several months, they hired a detective. Not sure what a private detective could do at that point as if she is dead, her poor little body is reduced to little more than bones and maybe some tuffs of hair.

Everyone once in a while they have a get together and send balloons off in the air and talk about how they have to be strong for her when she comes home, like she's just going to walk in off the street any day.

I don't know. There's not a lot of distance between houses in that area and I am really trying to figure out, especially with dogs in the house, and several people living there how that little girl was taken out with no one seeing anything.
I sure the hell hope she doesn't have a favorite uncle or older cousin with a big drug depth that would be able to get her to come to her window to play a fun game on mommy and daddy and jump out into his arms to go to McDonalds to get breakfast for the family. And as they walk around the block, he puts her in a car, where a chloroform cloth is put to her mouth by someone in the back seat. They drive, cars change, money changes hands, debts are paid, and the little girl is sold for big bucks.

And her brothers wait, and wait, and wonder and I'm sure, cry in the night. I still think of her and pray for her and think that the law enforcement community should tell us at this time everything they know and have discovered. Clearly, they don't have a suspect, maybe not even a motive. Let the community help. Law enforcement has so much on their plate and we're not all idiots out here. We can even type or answer phones if it will free you up to find this child and other missing kids. Nuff said about that.

According to a late July report by KVOA TV-Com (Tucson local channel 4), the Celis family was together on 7/27/2012, despite a previous voluntary agreement with Child Protective Services in Arizona that Sergio could not be around his family and sons.

The Celis family were asked about this and refused to comment. The local news media attempted contact with CPS but was not given a response, according to the KVOA website.

However, it seems that national media outfits have more information and resources than our local newscasters. According to Jane Velez-Mitchell, who has a talk show airing weekdays on HLN, (locally this is channel 23 on Comcast) Sergio Celis has been allowed to move back into the Celis home and to have contact with his sons.

Why are we here in Tucson not getting updated on this and the latest developments? Is it even true? Who here knows?

In late July, two little girls, 9 and 11, called law enforcement pretending to be Isabel. This was reported by media. According to TPD (Tucson Police Department), the investigation of this call cost them $5000 in police manpower and overtime. The result of this big money inquiry? Two little girls, at home with their mom, used their cell phones and decided to do a fake call. Nothing much more was said about it here; they were taken to Juvenile Detention and released pending a hearing. National media is questioning whether they had a link to Isabel, knew her or knew something. It doesn’t seem that a link is being looked at here…or at least it isn’t publicized. It always seems to boil down to money.

Everything in Arizona seems to come down to that. Not enough money for education, not enough money for child protective services, not enough for health care for poor people and not enough for police services, support and hiring new officers…not enough money.

Usually, we have plenty of money for prisons. They have a big and powerful lobby. Most people are afraid of dangerous prisoners escaping; so we pay up. Maybe if we put more money in the front end we wouldn’t need to spend so much to incarcerate people and build and maintain the infrastructure that demands.

If you live here you know what I am talking about. Haven’t you wondered why and aren’t you tired of hearing that we are at the bottom of states for education and other important human social service issues?

Don’t most of you want more money put into those areas? But you know we often blame our legislators and maybe we should…certainly we should. However, it seems a lot of people here just vote no if it means any more tax money out of their pockets.

Guess what, we only pay our state legislators about $24,000 a year to represent us and create laws. Of course, most have other jobs because they can’t survive on this. Don’t you wonder if part time law makers are really able to do the job we need? Do you wonder about what kind of people, with what kinds of skills and abilities are attracted to this position?

So many have come out to comment on the two little girls who made the call, ranging from those who say they did prank calls as a child; these are just children, and those who say the 11 year old at least, had the ability to tell truth from fiction and both girls should be prosecuted for their action. Nationally, psychologists, reporters and others are saying this should be investigated to the fullest as maybe the girls know or are connected somehow to Isabel and know what may have happened to her and are acting out about it because they’ve been told to be quiet.

Who knows? But don’t you think those of us who live here in this community should know all the latest information about this case? Is Sergio really back home now with his family and what changed things?

Where is Isabel? How come we don’t see very much or anything about her in the news? What is up here? Let’s have another news conference and have law enforcement update the community. Tucson is suffering too and wants to know.

You would think this would be news reported here, in their hometown of Tucson, but nothing has been said. There haven’t been any case updates in at least a month. Hmmm…part of our Tucson culture or what? The family itself feels the police doesn't talk to them and they are in the dark, why is that? Do the police think of them as potential suspects, or is this just modus operandi?

I will pray for Isa tonight. I hope one day someone's prayers will be answered, but God has his plans and I will trust in them, even though sometimes I just don't understand and they make me angry.

Nutting Better Than Puppy Love

2013-05-11T23:18:00.002-07:00

Finn is the little white haired guy hanging with his sister in
front checking the world out

You may have noticed...I've been preoccupied. I've not been writing regularly or consistently. Well...if you had a new addition to your family you'd be busy and tired too.

Remember babies, toddler hood, puppies? Sure you do. Are you yawning yet. Feel like laying down, or running away?

I'm proud to announce a new addition to our family. At long last..our new puppy, Finnegan. I named him that because Finnegan in Gaelic (the Irish National language) is small white haired one.

My new baby puppy has long, wavy silky white hair. We brought him home last Saturday, May 12th...about 3:30 p.m. It was an hour n a half drive from Gold Canyon, Arizona. He rewarded me as he neared our home depositing a healthy load of vomit in his carrier. Of course I took him right out to comfort him. I got paper towel and a little water and gently wiped his disgusting little vomit filled doggy mouth and chin and instantly, again, fell in love.

He looked up at me as I held him close to me so his little body wouldn't sway cause my husband navigates twists and turns like a maniac and my baby needed a calmer, straighter, steadier ride with no bumps. Fuckin men. The husband went through the Police academy and training and worked that job for a while but his favorite thing ever was learning to do the crazy assed driving, at ridiculous speeds with sudden stops and spins, but that be another story. He is working in another field now, having decided he didn't like being a cop. Thank God.

I bent over to tell Finn I love him. I was given kisses to my mouth and nose. I was so very grateful I had just cleaned him. He smiled at me; he just doesn't seem to have an unhappy bone in his body. I shall have to study the way of Finnegan, much as one studies the way of the Tao, or Zen or Big Ben.

Finally, we arrived home and the adventure began. After showing him his exercise pen, his sleeping crate and toys, I set out to make him dinner...once he relaxed.

He ate like no one ever fed him and finished dinner in literally seconds. This went on his first three to four days...and then he realized we wouldn't starve him and he slowed down.

Everyone day I learn something new and everyday I am amazed at what he teaches me...about him...about life...about myself. I couldn't be happier.............or more tired.

But I found my little one at long last. Pictures...many...and stories..many...to follow. But right now Finnegan is laying under the chair in my family room where it touches the tile in the eat in area of my kitchen and he's hiding. Well, not hiding, but dozing...this is his latest place...at day eight to be. He goes there when he's tired and poops out. I usually carry him into his bedroom...ah...our bedroom..to his crarte for naps...3 x a day...but sometimes he gets so tired at our antics he puts himself to bed under the chair.

Puppy love...what can I say...nothing better.

Old Irish blessing: If you lift a glass of spirits to your mouth to enjoy a bit of craic, "Go n-ithe an cat thú, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat"

2013-05-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH THERE ARE MONSTERS OUT THERE WHERE'S MY DAMN BROOM AND CAULDRON WHEN I NEED IT?

Hello fledging buddies, blessed with creative minds, neural synapses communicating sporadically in “unique” ways” within your areas of grey matter; you, young friends who have taught me a whole new language, style of dress and culture, and abnormal food combos, you my tweaky, freaky, methyodical, pilloconnosieurs, drug quality inspectors and green thumbers; young, middle aged and a little more maturely aged; female, male and whatever: from all over this wonderful country – I won’t be assplelonking much – too tired.

But, let me squelch garbage that might have floated through the bowels of some heads and set up some stinking thinking. Did you get the memo? I mean it true, love you.

I had my sixth asthma attack this week. They “allowed” me to have my RESCUE inhaler in my room by my bed finally – about two days ago, when I smilingly suggested I could die walking up those halls to find the nurse to get it for me. One or two of the nice nurses helped with talking to the Doctors, the powerful peoples.

My blood pressure had been getting progressively and seriously high the last three years, the upper, not so much the lower number suddenly became seriously low when I got it taken on Sunday, my second day. I thought they would check it every day several times to monitor as a matter of medical care, given I was running around and between 137 to 160 over 70-95, which is seriously high blood pressure. I wasn't weighed, but they did ask my weight and height.

I have Barrett’s esophaghus. I am supposed to eat five small meals a day, not eat two hours before bed, and not exercise within an hour of eating and not do exercises like bending over or laying low across my legs…like you do in Yoga. I told staff (med and others) all of this. Yet, breakfast is at 8 a.m. and you are expected to be out at Yoga at 8:30 a.m. regardless.

I am allergic to dust, mold, mildew and pollen. I took it upon myself, cause I couldn’t get what I needed, to disassemble my air conditioning unit, and wash each part as best I could, not having the most perfect cleaning materials for these things and ripping out what big clumps of matted dust I could. This after waking up my 2nd night choking, coughin and having an asthma attack. Staff knew, med staff knew, the Doctor told me to have the filter checked and changed if needed, they said it didn't need to be. I took it apart and it was full of dust, dirt and hair and I proceeded to clean what I could of it.

This morning after being told to go to Yoga, on a full stomach; I did as little as I could, having also just being given more valium. As soon as I came back in, the bigun told me to go mop my bedroom. I got a mop, figured out how to use the wringer thing and worked on it and had an asthma attack. Did my rescue inhaler, but still dizzy. Had been telling the nurse/dr. all week that I think they needed to cut down on my heart blood pressure medicine as when they measured it, 4 times, it was 96/54; 121/60 ; 100/70 and 127/70. HUGE DROP, and dangerous.

I'd told every nurse and both doctors the complications the asthma, barrets esophaghus, and the valium was having on my energy level, my GERD level, feeling dazed and confused and Wednesday I cried and cried cause I felt so sick and tired in my room. I washed and clean and polished every inch of the room to get rid of the disgusting dust, hair and spills all over and under and behind the bed that day.

Christie took me to the nurse station, but of course, there wasn't much they could do. They said. They told me to let them know if I developed edema or swelling in my ankles on Sunday. Quess what? I did on Wednesday. They looked, poked and it was clearly evident and the Doctor said something like well, my finger can sink in and it doesn't leave an impression, so we'll see.

I was just too tired. Sad sometimes, but in fields such as these, mental illness and corrections some staff become hardened skeptics and treat everyone the same and don't really trust or believe what a client is saying and consider it just yet another "symptom" of a mental illness, a drug/alcohol addiction or withdrawal, or a criminal personality. Sadly, that's why some people die, "inexplicably" in places like that. I did everyting they told me, but it didn't make a difference.

My low blood pressure, low oxygen levels, increasing tiredness and inability to stay awake, edema, loss of appetite, increased thirst, increased urinationation, feeling chilled, and on and on should have prompted more monitoring, an exam, something, but it didn't. I was told I was probably just experiencing some post alcohol detox something or other and it was most likely normal and not to worry in time it would pass.

I offered to give them my MD’s phone number and a release so they could discuss with her, but they said, not necessary. I needed singulair, took a day for a script to be written, a day for someone to be allowed to get it, she brought it back that same day. That night the nurse said she didn’t get it and no one gave it to her.

I was told to find the worker and went all the way back down the hall and she said she gave it to the nurse, and I said, well could you please call her or something cause she says you didn't and I really need to take it for my breathing. She said I will go there with you. By that time, three other people were in line so we stood and waited.

The worker showed her it was and nurse then easily found it. She said the Doctor must have been too busy and didn’t initial my chart, so she couldn't give it to me tonight anyway.

Friday, This morning, they checked my oxygen levels and they were dangerously low, in the 80’s, sometimes in the low 90’s, it would then get up to about 96…they’d stop the oxygen and it would drop down again, they oxygenated me three times and couldn’t stabilize me, so then they put me on a nebulizer.

The Doctor said, “There is nothing more we can do for you here, sorry, but we will have to call an ambulance and send you to the hospital”. I kept nodding off and breathing shallowly and getting confused, I told them that and the Doctor said, “Do you mean you’re hallucinating.” “No, I’m not, I feel confused, I see staff and clients coming in and out and I’m half in and out of sleep and sometimes I think they are talking to me and I look up and they are not.”

The ambulance came. I wanted to take my books and work but the Dr. said no, it would get in the way. I said I needed my insurance card and ID and she said someone would take care of getting that there. I was given a vitals check by the ambulance people who were nice, and they put an oxygen mask on me in the ambulance, but not before I asked them “Am I dying or something?” The man smiled and said absolutely not. I believed him. Wish someone had reassured me at the clinic. The ambulance guy asked me if I wanted to be left on the stretcher buckled in in the public lobby near the TV or if I would prefer the wheelchair. I opted for the wheelchair. He talked to the people at the desk and returned to tell me a doctor would call and see me soon. They left.

I kept waiting for someone from RS to come; I though they said someone would, but no one showed up or called to check on me. I arrived at 10:15 a.m. I asked Dr. before I left to please call my husband. They called him alright, at 12:59….and said that I had just left for the hospital about 20 minutes ago and was having an asthma problem.

The Doctor I met with, as well as the ER Nurse, put me in fast track ER as I didn’t have a bullet wound or a heart attack and knew I had a low oxygen levels they collected from the readings from the ambulance man, I’m not sure wjat records RS provided. When I explained my blood pressure history and recent low blood pressure and sleepiness they were disturbed. I was brought to another area in the ER, not in an intensive area and a nice nurse let me be have a cot and told me I could lie down if I wanted.

A few minutes later, another nurse came to get my insurance information and I told them that the staff at RS has it, and maybe they were in the waiting room. She showed me a sheet they faxed her, or perhaps had given to ambulance man, a one page cover sheet which essentially gave my name, age, my emergency contact numbers and the name of my insurance company – no provider numbers, no contact number for the insurance company, no group number, health history or anything. I suggested she call them. She apologized nicely for bothering me, and I again worried more as there were lots of little things that happened that week that were ringing bells for me. I provided her my husband;s number as we also had TRICARE as back up which for some reason they neglected to have on the RS form.

I was due to get my phone this day. I began to become afraid they wouldn’t give it to me; that they would say I’d been too ill. It was about 12:30 now, I was bored out of my skull, and of course didn’t have any reading material because they wouldn’t let me take any and the hospital just had like sports stuff and Time and national geog. Ugh.

The nice front desk nurse talked to me and I asked if I could lie down and she said of course and I was asleep in seconds, at some point someone covered me with a blanket, I was exhausted. The doctor told me earlier I was exhausted due to the low levels of oxygen in my blood and the valiums I’d been given contributed and I was probably also dehydrated. He was writing me a letter for light duty at the house as he felt I wasn’t in physical shape to be mopping floors and doing all the activities I was told to be involved in at this time.

I awoke and swung my legs over the cot about 1:30 and went to the bathroom . Upon returning, I talked to the nurse for a while. I asked when I’d be discharged. She said technically, I was discharged hours ago, as my vitals were fine, after the ambulance people stabilized me. She asked if I was going back to the RS. I asked if I was supposed to walk back, had anyone called to ask about me or to pick me up or is there any standard protocol and she said no. She let me use her phone as I was afraid and wanted to talk to my husband. As I said, he had just found out I was even hospitalized and hadn’t been told everything. I told him I was afraid and other things and wanted out and he told me he wanted me in Tucson under care, where he could know what was going on and be there a.s.a.p. He was not at all happy, as they’d never filled him in on the problems I’d been having.

He said he’d wrap right up, it was 2 p.m. and he picked me up by 3:30 p.m. When I got back, the evening staff seemed shocked to see me, and even more so when I said I just got back from the hospital and needed to get my things and go. They asked how I got back, and were ever more shocked to see my husband and asked if he drove me back. My husband informed him he was taking me home to my own doctor and asked to assist me in packing and Santos said to let him talk to his supervisor. We just followed and I told him I am sick, I am leaving, and I need to be somewhere where they are able to attend to medical needs, where my husband can be there and be advised immediately when I am ill. I was pleasant but assertive. They did allow him to help me pack, but said it would take a while to get all my medications together.

We finished backing and came out. Richard came out of the med room, having just thrown all my bottles of meds in a plastic bag and actually said it was just too many pills to count, and he didn’t have the time….

Jenny C. came and said I heard you are leaving, may I ask why, I replied, “because I am sick and need medical attention and am going home to see my own doctor for medical care and I want to be near to my husband so if anything happens he is timely informed and available. She lifted the corners of her lips, nodded and left.

I was given 6 bleeping forms to read/sign, tired as I was and unsteady, and I just initialed everything, told them I didn’t need my suntan lotion or anything, that I’d donate it and my hair spray, but they wanted me to take and initial it. The best thing that they gave me to initial, the poor staff, should have been done by the Doctor and the executive staff Niles /Jenny and the Doctor on duty (Not Plum, the other one).

The Doctor came out and said, “Why are you leaving may I inquire”; I essentially repeated the same as what I told Jenny. She stared at me and didn’t crack a smile or say a word and literally twirled on her heels in what I would call a huff, however, at this point I am sick of the whole drama and the way I am treated at this point….so WGAF.

Anyway, this form they have me initial, halfway down the sheet actually says:

Patient left AMA (AGAINST MEDICAL ADVICE ). Ha, Ha. Now that is the funniest thing ever.

I have no idea as against whose medical advice she is referring to. She, Doctor (not Plumb, the other one) never bothered to talk to me when I returned. At 10 a.m., this RS Doctor said “there is nothing more we can do for you here”. She said sorry, but we’ll have to call an ambulance and sent you to a hospital. This after a terribly grueling 15 minutes of putting an oxygen meter on and off my finger and reading the reading, putting an oxygen mask on me and off me three times and applying a nebulizer once and yelling at me a couple of times to breathe more deeply, as I kept nodding off. I guess it must have been grueling for them, fighting that life and death struggle is so hard for the professional medical doctor, I don’t know how they do it day in and day out, every hour of the day.

Doctor sent me off in an ambulance with no Identification or insurance card, no books, papers or pens and I was dropped off alone at a strange hospital without a companion, anything to read or occupy myself. RS didn’t check on me, failed to even communicate to the evening staff that I was in the ER, and there were no preparations made to pick me up. I know that cause I was discharged at 11 a.m. and when my husband got there at 3:30 p.m. I was still there, no word from RS, sitting on a cot, and the nurses, everyone I asked, hadn’t heard anything from them.

The CASA Grande Hospital actually discharged me about 11 a.m. ish but I didn’t know that until I asked them about 1 p.m. I think, feeling sorry for me (I guess - but I often think people do things for me because they feel sorry for me, hmmm Fruedian thing I need to examine) even offered me lunch – though technically not a patient, gave me a cot near their nurses Quick Start ER place, a pen and paper to write on, let me sleep, covered me with a bankie, offered me water and soda, and let me sleep; talked to me and gave me referrals and information, and let me use their phone to call my husband. They did everything they could to help me.

And I’d only just met them. If anything, they treated me like a homeless person or a friend they wanted to help and assist, as well as treat, comfort, feed and shelter. I will be eternally grateful for the incredible kindness they extended to me. I am so sad to have been treated the way I was by the medical staff at RS, especially at the end.

I moved my own bed across the floor to find behind it and under it, clumps of hair, dust and spilled yellow fluid and got on my hands and knees to clean it. I have found that I do ask for help with things, more and more when I am told things like you should ask or you should have asked for help, but, its always been, we’re a little busy now, we’re short on staff, I’m checking now, I can’t find this thing, I’m trying for you now, I’ll have to check with so and so and on and on and then nothing happens or rarely happens. When I say I don't know how to do this, find this, take care of this, get this, they say; well, you should go to med, you should ask to have your pressue taken, you should ask such and such person, you should go here and there, as if I even knew at the time where the here and there was and who the person they were talking about was. They said they had a schedule for daytime, but I never got one. They said it's right on the front desk. I said I looked up there and saw no such thing. They dragged me down there and damned if they couldn't find one. The staff there said, oh, I guess we ran out, I'll make some copies. A couple of hours later, I gave up going back to find one, they still weren't there, I asked and they said they been busy. At the end of the night a client let me know there were copies up there so I grabbed one.

I have found than when I have asked to speak to Niles about a serious issue he took it serious and promptly addressed it and found a solution and involved the other individual and there was no blaming, recrimination, yelling crying, name calling or anything, all handled very professionally by him. I found several staff there to have kind hearts. I found some to be a pleasure and joke and be teased in turn. I will miss people and people there have taught me much in a little amount of time. The cooks are wonderful and kind. My career counselor gave me an invaluable idea that will help me every day of my life. My counselor, who I worked out a problem with, gave some information and tools about trauma that astounded me;that I know will be of help. I have enjoyed some of the staff’s lectures and as loud and quick talking as one of those big guys are that shall remain unnamed, I must say I was always wide awake and listening when he talked. How could anyone nod off with the power of his enthusiasm.There are some awesome line staff and worker bees. They are almost too funny. I’m sure they don’t get paid enough.

The ladies, what can I say, the passion they have for the people there is palpable; they are amongst the most honest people I've met.

I do so like that Chrystle, who had to go buy me my singulair, after consultation with her supervisor agreed to buy me bobbypins. I asked for blonde ones and she said WHAT, BLONDE….They don’t make blonde bobbies. I’ll get black ones, or is brown okay? I told her, my hair is blonde and they really make blonde pins now. Bless her little heart, she came back with a pack of bobbies, half blonde and half a lovely pretty shade of pale copper I’ve never seen. And she was so proud, she got them on sale, a girl after my own heart. You go girl.

My favoriate little blonde nurse in the whole world is there and clearly loves her job and is quite efficient. The nurse who had to wake me up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. from a dead sleep by slamming her little body into my door, room 203, hopefully fixed by now, it doesn’t shut well and if shut is really hard to open, felt horrible and always apologized for waking me to give me a pill to sleep.

I'm not sure if this was funny or scary to me, it was just my first day, but like my 5th interview. But you might like it for laughs. A nurse who shall remain nameless asked if I'd had any surgeries and I said yes, I had a full hysterectomy, they removed my uterus and everything. The next question was, do you still get your period? Duh uh. I explained, and I did feel quilty for a while but this nurse didn't get the slightly sarcastic humour, "well, when they remove your uterus and all your female parts which include your tubes and such in a full hysterectomy, it is impossible to bleed cause if you don't have a uterus, it doesn't shed." If said nurse had shown one squich of humour or interest during any part of the long tedious and repetitive inventory, and hadn't been continually yawning, I'd have felt bad...but it went over said nurses little head anyway.

I have low tolerance for drugs like valium. I was told it was my job to find a nurse to request blood pressure readings. I found this out my second day so did, when the door was open, when they weren’t busy. I didn’t get my vitamins bag Saturday, I don’t know why, I guess I was supposed to know who to go to to ask. The other day I didn’t get it either as I was trying to get to all of the groups and activities and meetings with counselors et al they wanted me to go to and showed up to the med place at 8:10 and told they don’t do it after 8 p.m. Did I know that? No. But, I was shown a sign, one of many outside the med clinic that did note no IVs after 8 p.m. To their credit, they seem to be the only ones that actually try to post signs. But let me not go on and on, not importante.

I thanked the RS line staff and asked them to tell you and other staff I love you and wish you well. I learned a lot this week about myself, the affects of trauma, sexual molestation and alcoholism, the tools that are available, the treatment medications that are dangerous if not used and monitored properly and hot damn, I am one strong 59 year old chick, that was the best ever. I bench pressed Rowland without breaking a sweat.

On the bright side, I am understanding the steps, I’ve read the book before, but never had workbooks and such to help me apply things better to myself. Though my counselor tried to have me sign something saying I was an in denial, verbally and physically violent, had a long term criminal record and said she couldn’t omit it cause “it’s a template”, (cause she didn’t know how to OMIT those things which is weird,} when we did get that straightened out, she showed me some things and shared stuff that was valuable. Some of it is frightening and I need to process it, but it explains a lot.

I have 7 days now and absolutely no cravings. Monday I will get an emergency appointment with my MD. I will make a good thing of this experience and use it to start to define a new mission to continue to try to make this world a little bit betterer.

You are awesomely, brilliant people and deserve to live the lives you aspire to. Believe me when I say I know it is hard. I will design a new blog in time. Right now, my mind isn’t clear enough do the design and conception. I am tired. It will reflect the Pat you’ve gotten to sort of know. I’m careful here, cause sometimes relatives from around the world read this and I scare them enough already.

To your Higher Power, to you, and to getting out of your own fucking…I mean big head….take a look around and see what the other guy might need and forget yourself for a while – help him or her, even just show them where the damned bounce sheets are. I didn’t know for three days. It’s amazing how much it will help you buckaroos.

Buonanotte (Italiano); Oíche mhaith (Irish); Buenas noches (Spanish); Nos da (Welsh); Gute Nacht (German):

Bonne nuit (French); God nat (Danish); Boa noite (Portugese); Nighty Night (American): Lights out (American Jails, Prisons, Military barracks, Military schools); Good Night John Boy (Prarie Families); Damn Wilbur did you lock the barn door, Nellie’s out there humping the tractor again (Farmer good night); Make sure you put the lid on that moonshine good and tight, pumpkin – my baby girl is going having the best wedding this side of the BJ’s hog and saddle place (Redneck nighty night); Darling, take my precious sugar out for her nightlies and heavens be sure to wipe her little booboos and wash your hands; I don’t want any unmentionables on my new white fur sheets, now be an angel won’t you dearie) American diva out of touch housewife farewell for the evening; Shut that goddamn rap quack shit off, you can’t even understand a word that idiot is saying, try listening to some Bing Crosby, you know he spoke English. (Grandpa’s good night) MAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, I can’t find my shirt, you know, that one, you said you were going to iron it, I can’t sleep now, I’m going to die, Eddie and me are paired for that science experiment, I have nothing else to wear, I will just die, you never listen to me, ever, what am I going to do? MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH ARE YOU LISTENING?) Good night from your loving teenybopper. Alright. (Goodnight from your bubbly, chatty teenage son)

*TRANSLATION: May your Cat eat you and the devil eat the cat. MEOW.......................................

Dogs and Verbena

2013-04-27T12:40:00.003-07:00

Finnegan, my Havanese dog, discovered something very interesting in the backyard. It had been there a couple of weeks but he hadn’t noticed it before.

He chews a lot on weeds and random bits of grass and blown leaves. He enjoys trying to eat things he should not, like the solar panels that were removed briefly when the roof was being prepared.

Finnegan has a long proud history of capturing things dropping from above him, like Burt’s Bees lip gloss, which he will diligently try to eat….cap, cover and gloss.

Needless to say, we are always vigilant.

As he’s gotten older, now all of one year and two months, he knows metal and glass aren’t particularly appetizing. Thankfully, he no longer steals pens.

However, he adores paper in any shape or form, particularly tissues and paper napkins, especially ones that have just been used. He likes to shred toilet paper too. He is our 24 hour clown.

So, typically, as you see, he tends towards eating oddball things.

Thus, I was surprised to watch him start fussing with the wild purple verbena that reseeds itself each spring in my back yard.

He sniffed it and licked it. Then he put one puppy paw down on a soft green branching stem to hold it in place and chewed through it to capture a fresh stalk with new colorful florets. Looking at me, he turned tail and ran off to his “grass rug” and settled down with his prize. He played with it and ate one of the little flowers.

He got distracted with a ball lying next to him and left his new green toy for another time. I am hoping he doesn’t pull out the rest of the verbena, one trailing vine at a time.

Since he’s a fussy eater, and likes one thing one day, but not the next, I suspect my verbena will be safe. With curious, mischievous dogs, one must remain optimistic.

Boston Bombing Coward Caught...The Light and Goodness Prevails...TG

2013-04-19T17:53:00.002-07:00

Thank Goodness...Thank U God...The Man...The Person Who Murdered and Maimed All those Inniocent Americans including an 8 year old child...is in custody...thank you Lord,...the Light and Goodness has prevailed....I do not care about this person...nor do I care about him and his future..he does not matter to me..nor do I care to say his name.... But, praise the Lord and praise Boston...and what a city, what a country...how great are our people, our police, our citizens, our doctors, our law enforcments, our investigators, our EMTs, our leaders???? You picked the wrong city...the wrong STATE, the wrong Country.....

God Bless Boston...The World Is Becoming Too Strange And We Need To Talk...And Change

2013-04-19T13:56:00.001-07:00

I am extremely impressed with the Boston Police, the Boston State Police, all the local police entities in the Massachusetts area, the citizens of Boston and the suburbs of Watertown and Cambridge, et al…the FBI; Boston Mayor Benino, Governor Deval Patrick, and all the officials, law enforcement, major medical centers - their Chiefs of Staff, Doctors, Nurses and Medical Personnel, fire fighters, EMT, volunteers, Swat team members….everyone involved in protecting and trying to apprehend the last suspect(s) in the Boston marathon bombing.

God bless them all. What a job they are doing. They are struggling with a huge mosaic. Pulling strings and trying to figure out where all the pieces are.

The patience I am witnessing, as I sit safely in my home is remarkable to me. The calmness you see on television, as these swat teams, these police personnel, these FBI members, these law enforcement personnel go about their very dangerous business is amazing and has to be the result of a higher grace. I saw one of these members actually smiling and joking to another and thought, how wonderful.

In the heat of a frightening moment, the truly dedicated and talented; those who know what they are doing, can confidentially go about their job…yet retain their humanity.

I pray for all of them.

I am sick of hearing from family who are denying their sons are involved. In some ways I understand as the video of the younger son leaving the backpack hasn’t been released.

However, in my experience, most mothers…fathers…in the criminal justice and child protective services system, always blame the justice/child protective/law enforcement system and never their culpable children…now adults. It is always someone else’s children. And often, these are multi-generational abusive and/or criminal families.

As a matter of fact, in some simple internet searches, I discovered some rather odd and interrelated things about this family, which I won’t get into here, but I shared with authorities.

The people of Boston are very strong indeed and make me proud to be an American. I am angry like many people.

It is hard to deal with that people who took refuge here would attack the country that sheltered them.

I too am the child of immigrants, and I would not go so far as to advocate an isolationist policy, but this is getting to be a very tricky, complicated and sad issue.

We allow people to come in, give them refuge, scholarships and naturalization…and then years later find they kill Americans. What do we do? We need to openly dialogue, without fear of being charged with being politically incorrect. Now is the time to address these issues…it is a different world we are living in today. We cannot control the people in it, but we can start to talk about how we can prevent things like this in the future…openly and without fear.

Boston Marathon Explosions Within Last 45 minutes

2013-04-15T12:48:00.001-07:00

In the last 45 minutes, two loud explosions happened near the end of the Boston Marathon race, near the base of a building. Smoke could be seen coming from the sidewalk/building area and it carried debris up into the sky. One jogger was seen going down during the initial explosion in a social media video clip.

The people along the route started running and backing away. No one knows as of yet what happened. Many people were injured. The first responders are out there and helping.

There was a large cadre of Boston Emergency Response workers nearby because the first aid station is nearby. The route was well lined with Boston police. It happened as a large group of runners was racing toward the finish line.

The streets are locked down and it's considered a crime scene. It isn't known if this is a deliberate act, yet, but everything is being investigated.

I hope that it's a gas main or other malfunction that caused the two explosions, but it looks suspicious.

Good luck to the people of Boston, we are thinking about you and praying.

The New Pope

2013-03-13T11:56:00.004-07:00

     The white smoke came from the Vatican roof about an hour ago. Finnegan, my dog, and I were at the local park when my husband stopped by on his way back to work to let me know. Of course, I came right home.

     The pomp and circumstance is just what one expects. The Swiss Army is regal and brilliant in their uniforms and the bands play resplendently with joy and honor.

     Soon, a Cardinal will come out on the Balcony and say We have a Pope and throw glass doors and red curtains the Holy Father will emerge. St. Peter's Basillicus, the Vatican Plaza and all the area around is landscaped by a sea of people, cheering, waiting and alert. I think it will be any moment now. It is 7:42 in Italy.

   I haven't gone to church regularly since I was 16. At that mass, the priest asked for money at every chance and someone laughingly said, very loudly, okay - next I'll just throw my wallet in.

    The church has already institued changes trying to appeal to the newer, younger group of Catholics. Some of the changes are welcomed, some not. I kind of like church in Latin, it seemed more solemn and ancient and passionate and to be honest, I didn't really need to know what was being said - I felt it.

     However, I don't like this new thing of shaking hands with strangers in the Peace Be With You part - not that I am anti-social, but I don't like that it is forced and I'm not keen on touching strangers and then well I wonder if people will feel left out or awkard if they don't get enough shakes.

     I went to mass in December for the 25th RE Wedding of one of our friends. The priest was originally from Dublin and fairly young, maybe in his 40's. He spoke eloquently, seemed modern and caring and I'm so very glad we have men like this to continue to come into the Priesthood.

     I hope that one day, the Pope will decry marriage for Priests and Nuns a viable option. I mean in the early chuch it was accepted and stopped - not due to some biblical finding or anything - it was just business. Business can change.

    The New Pope faces a very changed world, world-wide challenges, an even more diverse base of Catholics in every corner of the world. I can't help but hope that two of the American Cardinals might be the one - but the world may not be ready for that yet. Who knows.

     He most be devout, educated and a scholar as well as a person of passion and charisma. He must be able to steer the church into this, our century - reign in the problems, the controversy and reconfigure the management and be strong enough to look at what so many Catholics have been saying for so many years. What a job!

We’re expecting Snow Flurries in Tucson

2013-02-08T10:03:00.001-07:00

You people in the North East– New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maine, and/or New Hampshire, you are not the only ones with dire seasonal predictions.

You’re getting a winter weather thing called Nemo? Isn’t that a fish? It was a cute movie and I can’t imagine that a little, cute fish could be threatening.

Big deal. Today, according to the news, it is going to be brutally breezy in Tucson, with the high ONLY about 69.

Arizonans do not do weather well. We usually don’t have any.

Most of us came here to get away from snow, ice and sleet; and the need to remember to stock umbrellas everywhere and pack car trunks with chains, blankets and flares.

Weather reports here are so boring; they throw in road chronicles and construction changes to spice it up.

Not today – NO - a cold front or back is on its way.

Saturday, the HIGH WILL BE 54. Break out the parkas. I’m thinking I will have the husband stop on his way home from work to stock up on hot chocolate, marshmallows, toilet paper and meat.

Every hour during important weather updates, local forecasters announce with glee and horror; “Tucsonans we could have snow flurries followed by a hard freeze overnight into Tuesday”. I’ve never figured out what a hard freeze is, but it sounds painful.

We’ve already had BRUTAL nippy weather this year and suffered a week of overnight temps in the low thirties and upper twenties. Enough is enough. Mostly every blooming plant in the desert died back in January; all 17. Thank God I hadn’t put my winter coat in the cleaners, something I’d contemplated for two years. It helped me to brave the elements.

Try to put yourself in our shoes. After all, do you know how hard it is to go from the 70’s way down to daytime highs of 40 degrees?

Have empathy. How often do YOU get 105 degree temperatures? I bet you don’t hear URGENT prolonged reports about the nightmares of burning hot pool decks and having to hide inside with the shades drawn against the sun. No one cares about dry heat. On the hottest days, our airport is open and even has flights. We get it at both ends, weather wise that is.

But, you know you too will move here sooner or later, when you get tired of scraping ice off your windshields. Then you can learn the fine art of desert dwellers weather complaining.

Right now I’m off to tie down the lawn furniture and collapse the umbrellas. I hear we’re expecting 30 mile per hour winds. It’s not easy living here, but someone has to.

Barack Obama Wins! Let's Learn From This! Hallejuah

2012-11-06T21:31:00.001-07:00

Thank the God Lord, or whatever diety you worship...our President Barack Obama won this re-election. I say it means so much for our country in many ways. I was afraid, as I guess many people were, that Mitt Romney wasn't at all in touch with the middle class or the hard working poor/lower class or the disenfranchised.

This was an election where people avoided specifics as to what would be done. The only thing we can hope for the future, is that the Congress, et al, get past bi-partisan lines and do what is right for the country...not the party.

We should be grateful for Clinton, for supporting him...as many of us realize what a great job he did.

I am so proud of our country. Is this the first time in our history...of course it is..that we are reelecting a Black president? More than that, this is the time when we are colorblind and electing someone we respect and think will represent all of us.

God Bless him, and please, Congress, other elected officials, look past your Party politics and work with our reelected President to get our great country back on track.

Tucson's Indigo & Olive in Casa Adobest Plaza

2012-10-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

Indigo & Olive is a different kind of retail shop in Casa Adobes Plaza, on Oracle and Ina. It has an eclectic mix of stuff for people, dogs and cats. I popped in there today with my puppy, Finnegan, to check out new merchandise. In the past I’ve bought a great outdoor carpet, on sale as well as assorted gift and dog type items including a magnet and tee-shirt.

The shop is pleasant and colorful; spa and rhythmic music lull you into a peaceful perusal. They have lots of odds and ends to look at for the house, garden and your pets.

I found Finn a West Paw (American made) toy duck that he was attracted to – or maybe I was. I know dogs can see only two colors –blue and yellow- so I am partial to playthings he can see. When we got home, he tossed it around, licked it, threw it and chomped on the tummy which holds the little honking mechanism, ad nausea. He’s very smart.

The owner, Lissa aka Elizabeth, gave him a Ziggie’s doggie chew bone with fruit ingredients and herbs, good for dental and oral health not to mention dealing with doggie breath. They stock a wide variety of organic products.

It’s not the easiest place to find; it’s set in the back side of the mall, down a walkway, past the restaurant Sauce. If you get a chance, stop in. Good little place for gifts and such.

I also like the new shop Whimsy, which has these great stretchy tank tops I use as camisoles, in an assortment of colors. It’s near Maya Palace.

By the way, both stores welcomed my shopping partner!

The I-Phone and Fat Thumbs

2012-09-17T17:24:00.001-07:00

I bought an I-Phone through my phone services provider. I lost my "regular" cell two months ago. It was either off or not charged as even calling couldn’t help me determine its whereabouts.

I am 99.5% sure it is in my house in the black hole. I know this because a television remote went missing shortly thereafter and we have not been able to locate it either. I do not take it out with me or in the car or to friends so we must have another dimension here.

I really did want to get a smart phone. The urge started when a fellow student in my writing class read one of his stories and in it, he used the word “Droid”. After, lively discussion took place as to whether everyone would understand that reference. The consensus was that no one would think he meant the thing on Star Wars or Star Trek. After all, everyone is up and in the digital age.

Well, I sat there in shock. I am in my 50’s and he is in his 70’s and there are older members in that group and clearly I’m the only one that thought he was referring to a Star Wars character. So, I had been perplexed by his reference to using a Droid because it was ringing.

It took some convincing for my husband to consider thinking about me getting an I-Phone. The cost was a concern for him as well as what he thinks of as my lack of technical expertise. He is also very practical and buys things according to their usage value, and wanted to know what I would do on an I-phone that I couldn’t do on a regular cell. He also does this when we shop for household goods/furniture; asking: “where did you plan to put this?” Come on? Who knows the answer to that question?

So, naturally, I respond, “I don’t know…maybe, when I’m out and about, I can look up stuff.”

“How often are you out now since we got the puppy and you retired?” he asked, as if I’d become a hermit, which I am not (not so much anyway).

“It would help me and organize my life and if I am stuck somewhere on a line or in a Doctor’s office I could read my emails or surf the net and research.”

This got the look. After a week of my phone being missing and I think his frustration in being unable to contact and find me (the one who never goes out), he decided we needed to shut off my old lost phone and get a new one.

Well, the guy in the Verizon place was great. Though I had seen the husband’s points before arriving there, I shifted gears when I found out I could get a new I-Phone for $99; about what I’d have to pay for a regular phone, and they wouldn’t hold me to my current contract that still had about 6 months on it. And, it would only cost us $20 a month more, for me to be happy. Win, win, I said.

So, the guy, looking at my husband, who appears totally woeful and chagrined and has quizzed me on my ability to handle such a high level instrument asks him – clearly afraid, “So, do you want a few minutes to talk about this alone, together?”

“No”, says the husband, “she wants it”. He knows me and when I say I want something, that’s that.

So, I got the I-Phone and discovered I have a terrible malady affecting my ability to use it properly. My thumbs are disproportionately fat. My chunky pads hover over the keys such that I invariably land up pressing the key to the right of the one I want.

Sometimes, I don’t even know I’ve pressed something, my pads are so fat and the phone so damned sensitive that I perform functions I did not mean to.

It takes me forever to text; to do anything for that matter. Who knew? I was so proud of learning to text quickly on a regular cell. We’d both fought texting but went kicking and screaming into the new media communication age when we learned that bosses, co-workers, kids, and relatives under 30 didn’t know how to answer the phone or talk into it. So we had to get with it and learn to text if we wanted to talk to anyone outside of ourselves and our parents.

And now, I jumped right into the chasm…to learn I have fat fingers and must lose weight and exercise to get a more suitable thumb for the phone. Just so you know…before you buy one – go on a diet.