Seeds

Would the girl/boy that you once were be proud of the girl/boy you are now?

2014-04-20T11:10:00.001-07:00

In 2010 a 26 year old Elissa found a sealed manila envelope from her smaller self, Little Elissa.

From ages 9-12 this adorable hairy Jewish Sicilian wrote over 50 love notes to her adult self. On the cover she painted a bride, the classic kind that you draw using white-out, with the words, DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 24!, plastered all over. Inside she asked a sea of questions.

Are you happy? Have you gone to Africa? Are you a Missionary? What’s your husband’s name? Is he a doctor? Is life still this magical? Is the world full of love? Is Stephie still your best friend?

Her response: THIS IS AWWWWESOME! Then she did what any grown girl would do. She wrote her back. And then she wrote her again, and again, and again.

As a direct reflection of her questionable organizational skills this OPEN AT 50! YOU’RE FABULOUS envelope went missing. With her to-do list buried under a mountain of papers she put the project aside.

It wasn’t until she met Emi, the 7 year old kindness warrior, that she knew her time capsule letter project would soon be resurrected. Emi’s the type of kid that goes out of her way to fill buckets and it could be argued that one can actually see sunshine burst from her eyes when she giggles. Emi has a lot of young wisdom to share with the world. And even more to offer herself.

Elissa decided that she wanted to share one of her most celebrated adult experiences with Emi. Together these two ladies co-created their own Letter Time-Capsules, one for Big(ger) Elissa to re-discover at 45 and the other for Big Emi to open at 20.

And love letters they did write.

…………………….

Today this is the letter Elissa added.

April 20, 2014

Dear 45 year old Elissa,

I love you. Thank you for being brave. I love your dreams and I’m so excited to reflect on all of things you’ve accomplished in the past 15 years. Thank you for trying your best.

Wherever you are, please freeze, breathe, and listen. To the birds, your inner voice, your pain, to the neighbors having breakfast. Listen. Tell yourself you are extraordinary. And go.

Do you still drink coffee? I love coffee. The thought of coffee makes me excited. The smell is a whole other story. Despite years of various attempts of quitting, I always went back. Black, with soy milk or half/half, sometimes sugar, it don’t matter… I just love coffee. Well, I suppose it worth noting that I prefer shade grown, free-trade, organic, locally roasted coffee. I realize that this means I have an addiction and that I’m a snob. I’m curious to hear about your coffee habits at 45.

Today I want to remind you of three important things to know.

-It takes less than 1 second after a smile, forced or natural, to make your body feel lighter and happier.

-It’s easy for people to fear their failures but when you spend time visualizing your successes they actually start to happen. Keep using your imagination to create your reality. It feels good and it’s fun.

-Life is fun. Seriously, don’t take it so seriously.

So much love.

Elissa Cirignotta

------------------

Letter time-capsules are an opportunity to heal, laugh, grow, observe and to reflect. There is room for such great healing through the written word. Within each person lies a space of infinite wisdom. Celebrate your successes, mourn your losses, vent your anger and document your personal journey of evolution through a time-capsule. At age 7, 10, 15, 26, 30, 45, 63, 75, and 97.

Do it! With your kids, students, partner, or your own beautiful self!

Life on Belmont with Greg, Elissa, and Kitten.

2014-04-06T22:21:00.001-07:00

I love love. Love inspires me, satiates, and fuels me. The ways in which we as humans are able to experience and feel love is in and of itself a reason to be thankful. Right now I'm at the part of the journey where I get to learn about love with someone I call love. (I also now call him my emergency contact.)

What fun it is, to so intimately share life with another person. Greg is my favorite person. I love his soul. I love his heart. I am completely head over heels for this redbearded Iowa boy. Now, don't get any crazy ideas that we are living this sappy fairy tale love story, because that simply doesn't exist, however what does and can exist is a life of love. And that dear reader, is the purpose of my journey.

On March 29th, Greg and I moved into a little green 1920s bungalow Portland home with 1 closet, a different color paint in every room, a queen size bed (workstation high) that takes up 5/7ths of our bedroom and yellow and red tulips lining the picket fence. It's fabulous! And it's home.

In anticipation of the move, I cried for about 3 days straight. Not out of sadness or out of fear, but mostly as a result of dealing with the emotions that come with change. The ever present constant that we can always count on; change will always change. (That and out of frustration that I had to pack boxes. I refused to fill boxes until the day before the move.)

Jesse and I lived together for 2 years and 8 beautiful months. We ate together, laughed together, listened to each others stories, shared struggles, and celebrations, and created a home of absolute love. He made me feel safe and I couldn't have asked for a better living arrangement. I feel extremely thankful and grateful that I had Jesse and that we were fortunate enough to build and share a home together. He has been present for almost every Portland chapter and has been a constant ear and support. The mourning of our home was inevitable. It was worthy of mourning.
After a few days of crying I decided to shift my focus and begin the practice of embracing the change while focusing on all of the positives. (Why do we sometimes wait so long to do that?)

I am so thankful. I'm thankful for all of the humans that I have crossed paths with. I'm thankful for those that have become my friends, my shamans, my teachers, my students, my family. I'm so thankful for those I've shared homes with and those that continue to be shining bright lights in my life. We are all here to help each other live life to the very fullest.

I'm so thankful for this new chapter to the journey. Bring it on Belmont!

Plus, Jesse still visits and brings me flowers. What more could a girl want?

Dreams, happiness, and other random thoughts.

2014-03-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

Part 1:
Do you keep a dream journal? If so, please share your experience. Have you noticed dream patterns? Can/do the thoughts you think prior to sleeping impact your dreams?

Over the course of the last month my dreams have been filled with the journey of flying. At first as I was growing wings I would leap out of trees, feel the complete freedom of having the wind hold me and then gently land on green lush grass. Slowly I began soaring through trees and over tropical islands and snow capped mountains. It was all quite magical. I felt empowered and full of bright light. Many of my friends from afar came to visit in those dreams. There was nothing but love and light beaming from my unconscious.
Last night I dreamt of the zombie apocalypse. I wasn't scared but rather quite invigorated by my drive to live and shine. I crossed rivers, soared over hills, hid in corners, helped strangers, cried, and was always full of hope and adventure. This morning I woke up filled with so much joy and gratitude that I get to live another day! (And without Zombies)

Part 2:
What do you do to practice happiness? What makes you happy? How do you wake up in the morning?

My favorite mornings are those when I wake up smiling. Smiling through my heart and on my face. I stretch open my arms and legs feeling the expansion of my heart as I offer thank-yous! Thank you for another day! Thank you for the sunshine! Thank you for my breath! Thank you for a new opportunity to try again! Thank you for my community. Thank you for my friends, my sisters, my brothers, my garden of babies, my beautiful world. Thank you!

I've fallen so in love with the feeling of waking up happy that before I go to bed I try to settle all the day's challenges and make sure my mind is quiet and settled before I sleep. Obviously there are days when this in itself can feel like a challenge, but I do my best. Everything is better when I choose happiness. My early mornings, my challenging part-time job, my relationship with my amazing boyfriend, my eating choices, the flow of the day, my love of life, my everything.
I started doing something this year that has had a highly positive effect on my thoughts. I say the words "I am extraordinary" everyday. The key (at least for me) is to say it until I believe it. Sometimes it seems like I've said it 78 times and other days it may only be 5. I'm still not completely sure what it means to actually believe those words but I like how it makes me feel.

Part 3:
Also keep going upside down.

Every day is another opportunity to celebrate life. To breathe deeper. To align ourselves with our own truth and then speak it with honor.

Elissa Cirignotta, Writer, Entrepeneur, Kid Yoga Instructor, World Traveler.

2014-01-19T14:13:00.001-08:00

For the past 12 years I have had what I thought was an unrequited love affair with Oprah. If I had to guess I'd say that I've written her about dozen, maybe even 18 love letters throughout the years. I have admired, and continue to admire, the message she shares, her charisma, the strength it takes to be such a powerfully influential role model, and the journey she has walked. She has inspired a collective shift in thinking; One that moves from hatred to love.
In Feb of 2011 a friend invited me to go to Chicago. We were going to see Oprah! She had won tickets to one of the final shows of the 25th season. It was spectacular and we were like giddy school girls. Liz wore sequins and I chose a rainbow poncho. We sat in the third row, winked at this idol, and each won a 2 night stay at Cesar's Palace in Vegas along with food and drink vouchers and tickets to Celine Dion. We would have left completely ecstatic, yet the interview for the national radio station following the show's filming was the most delicious icing a cake could have!

We loved our Cesar's Palace stay! Thanks for the love Oprah!

What's a girl to do but keep writing those love letters, right?

I didn't suffer too much of a loss with the end of the show as not owning a television and cable made it hard to keep up with it with any type of consistency. And life goes on.

Later that year I moved to Portland Oregon and I quickly began to make positive changes in my eating and exercise habits. My yoga practice started a few months before the move and I was jogging regularly. During one of my foggy morning jogs I stumbled across a free box full of old Oprah Magazine editions. I grabbed 5 and subsequently went home to start reading. Within a week I had submitted payment for a year subscription that was waiting to be read. I was surprised by how much I loved it. It was inspiring and talked about real life issues with solutions for positive improvements. It was spiritual and pragmatic while also providing an element of entertainment. For the past year I have diligently read every single word (minus the prescription ads) of every month's edition. I have wanted to understand the strategy behind the marketing, the article selections, and all the hows and whos and whys. I dream of being a contributing writer to the magazine and there's no reason for me to stop dreaming now.

On Friday afternoon (January 17, 2014) I was going through my O ritual; I drew a hot bath, poured a cup of tea, lit my candles, saged the bathroom, and relaxed with my magazine and journal. 21 pages in and almost finished with the "We Hear You" section, I completely lost it when I saw MY name. I was in Oprah Magazine! After falling out of the tub and running naked around the house for 30 minutes I cleared space on my phone for a new picture and sent the image to practically everyone I knew! I don't care what anyone says, I'm going to keep on dreaming, because for this Sicilian Jew, the sky is the limit! Thanks for the love Oprah.

I am open to all the good and abundance in the Universe. Thank-you life!

365 days Upside Down

2014-01-01T17:41:00.002-08:00

I was inspired today to challenge myself in new ways. For the last half a year or so I've been following a handful of incredible internationally known yogis. I watch them practice a variety of beautifully balanced handstands, headstands, and forearm-stands every day. I imagine what it would feel like to be able to put my body in such creative and strong poses. And then all of a sudden it hit me: The only thing stopping me from doing the same is not doing it. This means that today marks the beginning of 365 days Upside down.

Day 1: I'm still needing some support (Thanks Greg) to get both feet up and I need to use the wall. My core must get stronger. We all start somewhere!
Please join me in the evolution of my inversion practice!
#365daysupsidedown

Day 2: I decided to do some upside down arm strengthening. Jesse and Greg joined in on the fun.

Day 3: Jesse helped me with my right leg. It just doesn't want to go upside down on its own! I spent 2 seconds without wall support. Getting better! Also I look headless.

Day 4: I first tried to handstand in the grass. I fell. Here's me with my crutch, the wall. Greg helped catch my legs again. I'm looking forward to independent handstands.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step (Lao Tzu).

Day 5: Greg helped get my legs up the wall. Left leg bends when I kick up which pushes me back down. I'm not over the fear yet. I spent 3ish seconds without wall support.

Day 6: I did it! Today marks the day I did my very first solo handstand! January 6, 2014. No help. Still using wall support, but that's ok...it's only day 6!

Retraction: I did have help. My dear friend Katy Mac gave me some great pointers. She suggested I walk my feet closer to my body, inhale fully, kick up after the next exhale while tightening the core and holding the uddiyana bundha. WaLa!

Here's a glimpse at Katy's day 6 inversion. I love having a friend join me on this year long challenge!

Day 7: In one week's time I have become an independent handstander! I can get my body up and hold it away from the wall for up to 4 seconds. How did this happen? I can't wait to see what I can do in the next 358 days. It's more than just an inversion. I'm finding that I'm learning life lessons through this challenge. Keep Practicing guys!

#365daysupsidedown #365handstands #iwillhandstand2014 #ilpiantatore #imaginationyoga #happyhandstandprogress

Day 8: Reality check. Couldn't get up. Maybe it was a mental block? The pasta I just devoured? The gloomy day? I tried 3 times before I asked Jesse for help. I resisted every inch of the way up. So I stopped and went into my handstand prep pose. Maybe tomorrow...

Day 9: Sometimes it's easy to get up and stay comfortable, secure, and strong. I like being upside. I look for it everyday.

Day 10: I stopped to have coffee and conversation with Becky and showed her my new skillz. ;)

Day 11: Greg and I grabbed our coats at the first sign of sunshine and took a quick walk to the park! This was my attempt to transition away from using a wall. Why was this so scary to me???

Day 15: I can handstand in a skirt!

Day 18: Today I moved a few inches farther from the wall. I kicked up into a handstand approximately 15 times today. I was feeling pretty bold so I decided to also try my very first tri-pod headstand. Without any resistance I went straight up and held the pose for a solid 10 seconds. I love this challenge!

Day 21: I'm really enjoying my inversions. Here's the newest addition to my inversion repertoire. Everyday is brighter and better!

Day 22: Today I took my biggest step away from the wall. I like knowing its there for support but its becoming less and less scary. Keep practicing. Part of the practice is learning how to fall with grace and ease. #yoga #yogi #yogalife #yogalove ##365daysupsidedown #365handstands #inversion #perseverance #namaste #upsidedown #practicedaily #yogaeverdamday

Day 24: I tried to work on core strengthening for my daily yoga practice. This is a good prep to help hold the pose longer.

Day 27: I'm feeling comfortable enough to get playful and try different things upsidedown. I'm excited about this discovery.

Day 28: Crista, Katy, Jamie, and I took a moment out of our lunch break to handstand together. This week Imagination Yoga is having their annual teacher training. This year it's hosted at Nike!

Day 31: One month in and I can independently handstand with wall support and forearm headstand away from the wall! This is craziness! Handstanding without the wall is up next!

Life is beautiful

2013-12-03T21:04:00.003-08:00

Learning Gratitude

2013-12-03T21:01:00.002-08:00

This story has been reposted from http://imaginationyoga.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/learning-gratitude/

12 years ago, at the age of 18, my family went through a series of painful and life shifting events. Everything in my life felt dark and challenging. My coping strategy became gratitude. It was the only thing that gave me hope. My practice became one that propelled me to continue to move forward. As I now understand it, gratitude offers us a glimpse of hope and hope inspires optimism. Combined with other healthy qualities like: physical exercise, eating fresh food and deep breathing, gratitude contributes to a healthy mental atmosphere. And a healthy mental atmosphere is the birthplace of all things bright and beautiful, right? Right!

I began my practice by recording gratitude through photographs. I took and collected photographs of simply anything and everything that made my life seem brighter. Sometimes this was a rock and other days it was a stray cat or sunset. Years later when I was gifted a gratitude journal my practice evolved and grew to cataloging 5 positive experiences a day. This concerted and focused effort lead to more frequent and extended periods of happiness.

Even though I may not have understood exactly how or why it worked, the practice of offering gratitude created a shift within me. Gratitude connects us to each other and to nature. It taps into our creativity and makes us kinder and more compassionate humans. It inevitably transforms us into happier, more positive people. It helps us focus on being present in each moment and notice the small things like: the sound of raindrops, a stranger’s smile, the sun shining through a grove of trees, a thoughtful email, a home cooked meal, a soft pillow and warm bed, and the smell of creosote after a desert rain. It develops within you an appreciation for life.

Science tells us that gratitude has a profound and transformative impact on our health, happiness, energy levels, and longevity. Fortunately there is no age too young to begin this practice. Not only am I ridiculously thankful that I get to be an Imagination Yoga Instructor, I’m equally thankful that Imagination Yoga is a brilliant platform that teaches children how to experience happiness through gratitude, movement, and kindness.

Each of my yoga classes begins by offering gratitude and ends by practicing self-love. It is my personal belief that gratitude and self-love are closely linked and as we practice one, our understanding of the other grows. Shakespeare was onto something when it was memorably stated in Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” At the beginning of class we take time to reflect on one event or person in their day that they are grateful for. After a few weeks of this activity we deepen the practice by adding a why. For example, someone might share, “I’m thankful for Penny because she played with me during recess.” or “I’m thankful that it rained and we had indoor recess because I forgot my coat, and was sad when I thought about missing playing with my friends outside.” The class concludes with each student stating an affirmation such as, “I am creative and a kind friend”. By practicing both gratitude and self-love in my yoga classes my hope is for each student to intrinsically experience their abundant benefits.

Some of my sessions are 10 weeks long while others are sporadic, making it difficult to know how this routine can impact each individual, but last week when a 16 year old girl with an Intellectual Disability walked up to me after class and said, “I am beautiful and smart! Thank-you!” my heart overfloweth!

Walk with courage, self-confidence, and faith! Oh, and by the way, the glass is half full.

Story by Elissa Cirignotta

Elissa teaches Imagination Yoga in and around the Portland area. To find out more about her and her class offerings please check our website www.imaginationyoga.com or e-mail her directly at elissa.cirignotta@imaginationyoga.com

*Ideas for strengthening your child’s gratitude ‘muscle’, in your classroom or home:

Begin meals and family meetings with a gratitude circle where everyone shares a triumph.
Teach your kids to savor positive experiences. Have them describe, act out, or share how that experience made them feel.
Before bed have your children recall three ‘good’ things that happened during the day.
Model the language! Freely and openly expand your own practice.
Stop to smell the roses. Literally, stop and smell flowers with your children.
Write a gratitude letter every month (11 for other people and the last one for themselves), not connected to receiving a gift, but rather for acknowledging and thanking someone for something they did.
Start a gratitude journal and catalogue daily/weekly experiences.
Have a gratitude jar in your home or classroom. Let children and adults freely add to the jar, read them aloud at the end of the day/week/month.
Make a gratitude sunshine (see image) that can be hung in your home or classroom

Project Androgyjumpsuit

2013-06-07T15:07:00.001-07:00

Dichotomy of Life

2013-06-03T21:43:00.001-07:00

How important is it to you to know the truth about yourself? All the light, all of the darkness, no difference.

What does it mean for you to investigate the darker parks?
Similar to many of you out there, I have a desire to understand my wholeness, my role, my place in this universe.
I am on this earth right now as Elissa Cirignotta and she is short with a bumpy nose. I am darkness and I am light. I am you. I am your daughter. I am this pen. I am your ex-husband and your friend. I am the dog barking in the distance and the car driving by. I am the sound of the wind. I am everything that is beauty.

The darkness seems less and less dark as I realize that the beauty does not, can not, exist without it. For the darkness, I find myself thankful. I am thankful for my tears. I am thankful for the pain of heart hurt.

They are a part of this journey of beauty.

The very best in me honors the very best in you.

2013-03-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Did you know that hope and optimism enable achievement? Apparently hope alters brain chemistry which influences our decisions and the actions we make.
I've been spending a great deal of my time thinking, discussing, and researching topics like hope, love, and goodness. How are they measured? Or quantified? What makes happy?

Lately my free time involves me, a yoga mat, and downward dog. I've stepped up my yoga practice in the last month and now more than ever I am experiencing this mind body connection, with my breath working as the invisible thread that links the two. I am more in control of my body than I've ever been and with that has come a sense of calm within that makes every day easier and better. Don't get me wrong, things don't always go my way and the firey Sicilian-Jewish blood makes an appearance just often enough to assure me that I still got it; however overall, I find, that I keep celebrating life.

So here are a few things I know.
The more I celebrate life the more life I have to celebrate.
The more I move from judgement to caring, isolation to connection, and indifference to understanding the more I love myself.
The more I love myself the more I love others.
The more I love others the more I experience hope, happiness, and optimism.

The dopamine pleasure surge is highest when people become fully engaged in the practice of optimism, gratitude, hope, and an overall sense of well being. What gives us that surge?
Drugs, alcohol, over-eating, participating in acts of kindness, making choices and solving problems, engaging in physical activities, enjoying creative efforts, collaborating, etc... The more consistent we are in experiencing pleasure and rewards that come from physical activity, creative efforts, social interactions and over-all positive experiences the less likely we are to engage in risky behaviors that could bring harm to us and others.
Because I strongly believe we are all connected to one another, I often experience that sense of urgency that we must immediately begin to focus on becoming the very best person we can be. It is no accident that when you look closely into the eyes of another, the very first thing you see, is yourself. We are all somehow connected.

I'm going to be 30 in 2 and 1/2 months and decided that I wanted to conduct a small experiment for the remaining time in my 20s.
Everyday in April and May I am going to consciously engage in an activity that is dopamine inducing and on May 31st reassess my overall appreciation for life.
I invite you to join me. Keep track of your activity and feel free to share with others. If you don't feel better after 2 months, I'm sorry; I'll be sending you cosmic love... If you feel great, then please continue to celebrate and learn with me. Let's start to live vicariously through our own lives.

The very very best in me honors the very very best in you.

April: These 5 suggestions should be practiced on a daily basis.
1. Either in a journal or on post-its, document 1 thing you are thankful for. (Do this before bed every night.)
2. Practice seeing yourself through the eyes of genuine compassion. (Explore what that means for you.)
3. Tell yourself, every morning, that you are beautiful.
4. Do one thing everyday that you fear. (Borrowed this one from good ole Eleanor Roosevelt. But seriously, do it.)
5. Think good thoughts. Remember, we create the world we want.

May: These are only suggestions, mix and match, add your own... What's important is that you consciously engage in one a day.
1. Go to a laundry mat and leave 6 quarters on 3 separate washers.
2. Write a letter to a friend.
3. Prepare a meal for a homeless person and go deliver it to them.
4. Give an inspiring book away.
5. Put $10 on a random gas pump.
6. Buy a stranger a lottery ticket.
7. Give something awesome away on Craigslist or Facebook.
8. Go to a yoga class. x20
9. Be bold in your appreciation of life; make a list of 10 things that you are thankful for.
10. Send a sibling or someone like a sibling a small token of your love.
11. Go to a local coffee shop and treat yourself to your very favorite bagel and chai and then leave $5 to go towards the next person that orders.
12. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
13. Find a hula hoop and HOOP!
14. Leave a yummy chocolate bar for a colleague.
15. Leave your favorite book in a public space with a note in it.
16. Send a stranger a letter! (This one is fun!)
17. Leave special something(vegan cookies?) and a note for your mail(wo)man.
18. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, creative, and intelligent...everyday.
19. Plant wild flowers in your garden... Or sprinkle them around your community.
20. Leave a dollar bill taped to a vending machine with a note that says "Pay it foward".
21. Tell one person every single day that you love them.
22. Tell yourself, every single day, that you love YOU.
23. Make eye contact and smile when you pass a stranger.
24. Offer to help a friend.
25. Bring a coffee in for your front desk receptionist.
26. Write your favorite teacher/professor a thank you note.
27. Take a walk in nature.
28. Pet a cat.
29. Buy someone a flower. (It's such a nice surprise to receive a flower.)
30. Create something. Sit down and paint a picture, write a journal entry, make a collage, build a birdhouse, or sew a pillowcase.
31. Do something that makes you feel OH SO GOOD!

"Happy people are as unique and beautiful as snowflakes, while unhappy people are tediously, monotonously, excruciatingly the same." Martha Beck.

drooling over beards

2013-02-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

I am a sucker for tall men with dark beards...

I have moved to the right city for oh so many reasons.

Chunking

2013-02-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

It's February 12th at 7:55 am and I'm pretty sure I was in a similar state of confusion on February 12th of '94. (If my memory serves me well, I was prepping myself for a raging case of the chicken poxs filled with disappointed that I could not give my crush his Valentines.) Thank goodness I've developed better coping skills for my stress and confusion.
But back to now, my eye twitch started this weekend and has been going strong for 3 days now. So I did what any sane adult would do... I called in sick.
So far today I've opened my curtains, finished a cup of warm chai, and read the Ope magazine in it's entirety. What's next on the list? Concur the world.
O's Best Advice Ever!: Make Over Your Life with Oprah & Friends by Edi (Google Affiliate Ad)

I've been a teacher for long enough to know that when an assignment is too large to tackle, we teach children how to chunk. Chunk seems like a funny word to use but really it's appropriate. We teach students how to break down the assignment into workable sections. With the combined efforts of the teacher's scaffolded instruction and the student's motivation in working through each section, the final product is almost always achieved. Baby steps, yo.

On the bed beside me I have 6 books, a notebook that is intended to help me "chunk", a notepad for all my brilliant ideas, a pen, and a post-it pile of all my other fabulous ideas that will inevitably end up inside the 6 books or plastered to my vintage wooden desk.
The issue:
I am in a serious transitional phase with a lot of unknown ahead.
I'm starting a new career, perhaps, and now because everyone knows I'm leaving my position at the end of the school year I feel this immense amount of pressure (that I'm placing on myself) to work even harder to prove that I'm committed. I am trying to become an expert in my new career by reading 1 million books this year and design a research project (which is doubly challenging when you've never conducted any formal research). I'm navigating a world of marketing myself and building clientele = hard. And there's there all the personal stuff going on.. My beloved baby brother is experiencing his first heart break, AHHH, my best friend's marriage is failing, double AHHH, and I haven't been on a date in 1 month and 12 days... AHHHHH

What would Martha Beck tell me to do?
I suppose I will have to listen to my own inner wisdom until Martha is available to address my needs.

First up: identify books that can be backburnered (is that a word?).
I'm 136 pages into The Early Years of Bill Clinton's Autobiography, be still my heart, but Bill can wait.
My Life by Clinton, Bill [Hardcover] (Google Affiliate Ad)
Book Club meets on Feb 22nd prior to a faux fur party, so The Madonnas of Echo Park has been moved to the top of the list.
30 Shamanic Questions- reality is I have too much on my plate. I'll save my shamanic journey for July.
Wherever you go there you are, a fabulous book about mindfulness meditation. This has been an ongoing read that I think I'm ready to pass on, however given my current "freak out" mode, it might seem like I should read it 3 more times.
Yoga Calm for Children and The Essentials of Yoga stay.

Wow I already feel better.

Next, develop a list of what to do when stressed.

1) 8 hours of sleep makes me wake up happy
2) Yoga
3) Take a bath
4) Write a blog entry
5) Read
6) Write a list of things I'm thankful for
7) Go for a walk
8) Read in a coffee shop
9) Take a nap
10) Eat kale or a banana with peanut butter
11)Write a letter
12) Meditate

Ok... getting better.

Now I need to figure out how to get at least 20 clients.

I am so inspired by my new job. I stared at my business cards for a good ten minutes alone in my room the first night I received them. I get to be a part of a company that believes kindness will change the world. I have been given a platform to speak kindness and healing and help children experience the equilibrium that yoga can create between the body and the mind. Dreamy, eh?
Check it out: http://www.imaginationyoga.com/special_needs_children.html

So that's that, and for today I am going to trust and know that the clients will come pouring in.

Now I'm ready to get out of bed and do something new and exciting. Since when did dealing with stress become fun?

Letters

2013-01-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

I started today as a Ms. Mopeaaay. I do not like myself when I mope. Grumpy can be tolerable; mopey makes me extra emotional which makes me irrational which oftentimes later makes me sad. I try to avoid or deflect mopey at all possible costs.
So, I went into full steam. I drug myself to a favorite local coffee shop and read Sadartha while drinking tasty expensive coffee. I came home and made a special egg sandwich, (olive and cheese, topped with ketchup... yum). Then I walked 34 blocks and across the Morrison Bridge to a new yoga studio for new type of yoga, yay! I crossed a different bridge (I'm a hopeless romantic; I love walking across bridges.), and stopped for some fresh local vegetables on the 2 mile walk home.

Sure, all of those prana giving healthy choices helped a little, but as soon as I got home I fell back into morning mopester. I tried a new technique for the second half of the afternoon. This time I would embrace it and completely relish in my single-hood. I made a mental list of all reasons I am thankful for this space and time of my life. I've got it good.

I made my healthy wild rice vegetable bake, blah blah blah, made coffee at 5:00 pm, whatever I don't even care!, turned my pandora to Regina Spektor and the powerhouse ladies, and pulled out the ole file folder box.

Inside that box is a folder titled, "Love Letters". Shiiiiiiiiiiit, I did it. I pulled it, sat down in the middle of the carpet with my coffee and wild rice on one side and blinds open on the other. I just read through years of love letters.

I stopped when I was interrupted by Beyoncé's Single Ladies playing in the background. Seriously, I'm not even joking a little.

I find myself laughing at the impeccable timing of the universe. I like letting things unfold. I like life. I like being a single lady right now.

So now, I'm going to take this slightly caffeinated, well fed, single Elissa, and I'm going to go dancing, because I can.

A new kind of love

2013-01-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

I love love. Sometimes I can give myself a natural high thinking about all the ways to give and feel love. It is not uncommon for me to read about it, talk about it, consciously observe it, and practice it. Yet, I'm 29 and a half years old and I still feel clueless. This world seems as much of a mystery to me as it did in 1999. Last week I traveled back to Pennsylvania for the Holidays and I experienced an new kind of love.
My nuclear family hasn't been together, perhaps even once, since April of 2001. This has forced me to evaluate, redefine, and contemplate my definition of "family". With each experience the definition evolves. It gets better and better.
Two years ago we came together twice in one year; for the weddings of both my baby and big sister. This summer my big sister gave birth to our first family baby, Anwen Rosemary. This, and because my father has been planning a move back to Sicily during this upcoming year an almost silent command was initiated for us to be together again. We traveled from Brooklyn NY, Wichita KS, Portland OR, and Harrisonburg VA to get to Central Pennsylvania for the Holidays.
We laughed so much during our four days together. We laughed at each other, with each other, silently or loud enough to force Papa to wear double ear plugs at night. We passed around our baby, celebrated with food and wine and...beer, rum, and Disaronno- a family staple), we played games-sometimes against our will, we had snow ball fights- also sometimes against our will, we reminisced and shared old family stories while walking through the cemetery or cozily snuggling beside the Christmas tree, we had fun!
We Cirignotta's have traveled through some rocky roads. Life hasn't been a peach pie; we are all very different creatures and have responded uniquely different to the rocks we've encountered on our individual and collective paths. The additional four members, my amazing(ly) tall brother-in-laws, the treasure box that is my brother's girlfriend, and our butterball Anwen have all served as bridges.
I am very thankful for the blood family I was born into and all the lessons I've learned from each and every one of them. They have been some of my greatest teachers.
I am grateful I spent my last week of 2012 with a new kind of Cirignotta plus family.

The importance of voting.

2012-10-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

The importance of voting and exercising democracy is a vital component of society. Wouldn't you agree?
Which is why it is so critical that everyone get out and vote for the presidential elections...and the Travelocity trip around the world contest. Right?
That's right...I am trying to win a trip around the world.
I had to make a short video as my entry submission and there is a possibility that I might be slightly embarrassed by it. Regardless, I still think I stand a chance to win... But I need voters.

Would you vote for me? I can't promise to take away taxes or end the war but I will send postcards and positive energy your way!

Click on
http://gnomenabbed.travelocity.com

Then hit "submit a video or vote"

In the search box type "Elissa"

and click on Gnome meets Elissa.

After you have voted you should make you own video and then send it to me to vote for.

I wish I could pass out "I voted" stickers now.

Dahl had it all figured out.

2012-10-07T11:44:00.002-07:00

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl

Best Kept Traveling Secret

2012-10-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm over kayak. I never get the impression it's on our team. For the last several years I have opted to mostly search and fly with Southwest. The bags are fee, the pilots are funny, the flights are reasonable, and you can pick your own seat. I earn miles giving me free flights... it works for me.

However every once in awhile the flight prices are too high for my wee little bank account. And that is why I LOVE this site: http://matrix.itasoftware.com/

Select "see calendar of lowest fares" and enjoy the feeling of purchasing a $160 one way ticket to the East Coast.

Ready. Set. Travel!

Happy as a Lark

2012-09-30T15:48:00.003-07:00

A few weeks ago, in the midst of wallowing in strep throat, I received a call from a new friend. We were recently introduced by a mutual amiga who was positive we would become fast friends upon first sight. She was right.
Along with many other non mentioned descriptors that could be used, Katy is an Imagination Yoga Teacher, a kayaker, and a member of the Portland Intergenerational Women's Choir.
The reason she called?: She deemed me an appropriate choir recruit. The choir is made up of daughters, mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and their friends.
Because I'm always on the look-out for a new adventure I signed up, before they could discover that I don't sing. I then admitted that the last time I sung with an organized group was in 9th grade..mostly just to hang out with David Peachey. I once had a boyfriend that told me. "Sometimes you sing very nice, and sometimes you don't." It's kinda hit or miss for me. So to my delight, it turned out, signing abilities weren't a choir requirement. This was later confirmed by the persnickety yet lovely Murielle, an 80 something year old soprano with owl like hearing. She pointed out the ladies across the room that were off tune. I giggled while trying to decide if this was a-dorable, and/or her secret way of saying "YOU are off tune." Then I realized it didn't matter, so I sang louder.
I've now been to two practices. Both times I've left with a bizarre feeling of, perhaps elation. I've become so unaccustomed to singing that I seldom benefit from this sort of dopamine rush. I mean really, other than the drunken karaoke escapades, I rarely sing. Apparently, it feels great?! Why aren't more people talking about this? Maybe they are, maybe it's me that's not listening. Either way, I love singing. I'm also learning a whole bunch about music composition, reading notes, "classroom" management for a group of 40+ chatty women, how to make new friends, and how to breathe from my diaphragm.

And here I thought I was getting too old to learn new things. (#Imfreakingoutaboutturning30!)

How I didn't cure strep throat.

2012-09-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,
I suffer from chronic strep throat.
I can easily get it up to 6 times a year. Fortunately I've experienced 3 to 4 year respites from the torture, but when it comes I get hit hard. Perhaps it could be something anatomical, maybe my tonsils, or even worse... what if it's stress?

After some careful thought and months of research I decided that the next time around would be an all natural attack to the terrible bacteria that loves my throat. Antibiotics are too harsh on my stomach and on my body as a whole and obviously I have some sort of resistance to them.

So here's what I did.

1. I slept.
2. I pumped Vitamin C into my blood stream. I opted to use Vitamin C tablets and EmergenC packets. At least 4 pills a day and 2-3 packets of EmergenC. I think I was dreaming of Vitamin C after day 2.
3. I gargled with salt water. I gargled with apple cider vinegar. I gargled with echinacea. I gargled with cayenne pepper. With both cold water and hot water.

4. I drank literally the most disgusting water and echinacea mix man could imagine ingesting. I had no idea echinacea tasted so terrible. Four times a day I did it... knowing this just had to help.
5. Teatime in my household occurred every 1.5 hours. I tried slippery elm bark tea, licorice, chamomile, and lemon echinancea. Every 3rd hour I'd make a strep throat appropriate "hot toddy" which consisted of lemon, honey, cayenne pepper and rum with either boiling hot water or lemon echinancea tea.
6. I phoned a friend. I'm all about single people empowerment, but being sick is just not something anyone should have to do alone. A few short hours later I had a delivery of "homemade" WholeFoods lentil soup and saltine crackers. A sick person's must. (Thanks Joe.) I was actually fortunate enough to later receive another soup delivery the next day. (Thanks Becky)
7. I watched all those movies that I've been dying to see. Ok, so really I watched 2 seasons of the Sex and the City reruns.
8. I ate garlic for breakfast, garlic for snacks, garlic for lunch and garlic for dinner. Straight up raw. Garlic is quite powerful as an antibiotic. It has been said that 1 milligram of allicin(which is the chemical that is produced when garlic is chewed, chopped, or bruised) has a potency of 15 standard units of penicillin. And yes, I do smell like garlic. Still.
9. I made homemade vegetable broth and drank it all day.
10. I cried.
11. I took an Allibiotic 3 times a day. This particular one was made from garlic, elderberry, olive leaf extract, and oregano.

Did it work?

Sure it kicked my fever and I got rid of 97% of the pus in my throat... but noooooooo... it did NOT work! Natural medicine you failed me. I ended up with a throbbing ear and numb face caused from a bacterial infection that was not "properly" treated. The cute doctor said "Antibiotics are a must right now. Do not argue." I said "ok" and scheduled an appointment with the specialist.

After 4 days of fevering and pain, oh my, a very frustrated Elissa welcomed the last round of antibiotics (I've decided I won't get strep again). And then I went home and did a different kind of research.

Yoga teaching links the 7 major chakras to 7-year time periods. They begin, as would be expected at birth with the base chakra, and work successively through each chakra. Year 29, which I've just recently begun, marks the beginning of the 5 cycle and is connected to the throat chakra. There is a strong focus on communication, self expression, inspiration, independence, openness to higher development and speaking with wisdom. Often imbalances within your throat chakra manifest as ear, nose, and throat problems.

Because I doubt that the Otolaryngologist is going to tell me that the reason I've gotten strep throat 4 times in the last 6 months is a result of a chakra imbalance I've decided I'll just self diagnose.

Self medicating the first time may not have worked, but let's just try something a little different this time.

Or maybe my job is too stressful...?

Love,

Crunchy Elissa

How baths salts saved my life.

2012-09-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

I went back to work this week. I am still not entirely sure if I'm going to be able to publish this post today, as my true work feelings are not yet understood by even myself. Perhaps I'll use this as a project to organize my thoughts. In raw form.

Day one back to work:
I was so anxious the night before that I barely slept. The little sleep I did receive was consumed by bizarre dreams uncomfortably verging on being nightmarish.
I woke up early. Made coffee and sat in my living room for a morning meditation. (I'm challenging myself to spend time in meditation for 40 days. And then evaluate the situation to see if I'd like to become a professional meditater.)

I left my house 5 minutes ahead of schedule, coffee in tow, feeling at peace. (I'm not quite ready to quit coffee.)
The moment I parked my car at "headquarters" I realized how anxious I get after driving. Anxiety is almost inevitable after a 35-80 minute commute.
I hadn't put my bag down before the requests came pouring in. Packets were waiting for me in my mailbox, over a hundred emails in my inbox, and five missed calls. All before 7:30 am?!
It was almost as though I could see my brain transform into a factory robot that was mass producing bullets of cortisol that were cannon balling into my bloodstream. How's that for dramatic.
I remembered my morning meditation and found myself seated at my desk, eyes closed, and breathing. Followed by 30 minutes of nonstop catching up and racing to the board room for our 8:00 morning department meeting.
I'm not sure if it was intended to be a pep talk or a mockery.

"Budget cuts this, budget cuts that. Remember to make a presence in your schools. Everyone's class sizes went up so they need you to work harder and longer! Go you! Oh and your insurance prices went up so budget better this year if you want to save. You're all so smart! Your expertise is mind blowing. This isn't final yet, but maybe don't expect that cost of living salary increase this year. Bummer right?! And now let's go save the world!!"
At this point I had a small pile of handplucked eyebrows reminding me of the cortisol take over in my body.
Then we were back at it. Meetings, phone calls, stress eating, angry teachers, and upset parents, ending with a 40 minute commute back home.
I walked in my door and uncontrollably burst into tears, perhaps even an occasion sob could have been detected. I talked through the day with a former coworker and then found my way to the park. Within moments I was invited to sit under a tree, where I proceeded to cry for over an hour.
I knew I had to pull myself together so I drew up a plan. The plan involved bath salts, chocolate, licorice root tea, candles, and a book. I collected all of the items and decided that I would fight back. I wanted the cortisol out of my body.

I stayed in the bath until my cat tried to join me. I felt rejuvenated after a 60 minute soak.
I meditated myself to sleep knowing that tomorrow we could try this again.

Day two wasn't quite as challenging. However there wasn't a question in my mind that if I didn't make it to the 4:00 yoga class I might just burst into tears again.

Day three I brought with me the peace lily that had made my bedroom it's home. I decided I would attempt to bring part of the peace and beauty I find in my home into my work space. I prepared a small calming area in my cubicle and went at it again. However this was also the day my brakes went out(ish) and resulted in a $330 fee. Bummer right?!
But that was ok, I knew I had an evening jog and bath waiting for me when I returned home.

By day four I was exhausted. Even with going to bed by 9:15 every night. I felt emotionally drained and endlessly grateful for the 5 day mini break ahead.

I've got 2 1/2 days left and I feel a sense of urgency. I have got to come up with a plan! Life is too short to not live the best way I can! To live my dreams.
In the meantime, sure, there are bath salts and chocolate and yoga, but I've got to figure out how to build this bridge. Or perhaps the bridge is already built and I just have to find my way across.

Blah blah blah.

What matters is how quickly you do what your soul wants. Rumi

2012-09-02T12:11:00.002-07:00

For Mercy's Sake guys!

2012-08-22T11:08:00.001-07:00

I read this this morning with eyes full of tears. Beautiful tears. My dear friend Hilary is helping change lives!
For the sake of Mercy, let's all help make change!

We're reaching out to you all today to let you know that our dear friend Mercy Oyana needs our help right now, and while the need is great, we believe that together we can make a lifetime of a difference for her.

Less than two weeks ago, Mercy's father Crispin fell from a 3-story ladder and suffered a severe head injury, which put him in a coma. He was taken off life support and passed away the afternoon of Monday, July the 2nd.
In the face of such an inexplicable tragedy and shock, Mercy, together with her mother and brother have another heavy burden to face.
Crispin, a self-employed house painter, and Mercy's mother, Annette, worked together for their business, which has really been struggling in this economy. The accident took place on the site of Crispin's first project in several months, and the family was very much counting on the income. But now, in the face of mounting bills and an uncertain future, Mercy, Annette and her brother Emmanuell are facing the reality that Annette may very soon lose her home.
We, a group of Mercy's friends, have come together to set an ambitious goal of raising $35,000 for her and her family. It is the amount needed to cover medical and funeral expenses, stay in their home, and give Annette a few months to heal and to look for work without worrying about mortgage payments.
Mercy's Facebook status was recently "Falling, falling, falling. I've fallen into a rabbit hole..." It hurt our hearts to read, but we know we can help catch her.
For those who know and love Mercy, we know we've all been hurting with her these past couple weeks. Even those who don't, still know how it feels to hurt for a loved one; one of the hardest parts is not being able to make it better, especially from far away.
This is something we can do though. We told Mercy that her friends would take this one worry at least off her plate-- the fear of severe financial hardship, of even more overwhelming circumstances for her mom. Please help us make good on that promise by giving what you can today.
We estimate that Crispin's project was bringing in about $20/hr. If you can chip in $20 to cover an hour, or $150 to cover a day that would really help us lay the foundation for working towards our goal. Please also consider reaching out to your friends, family, or churches to pool together enough to give $1000, which would have been a week's income, or $5000, which would have been a month's.

Emmanuell and Rikki, with Crispin.

Any funds given will be placed in an account in Crispin's name, and will be administered by the family's church, West Philadelphia Mennonite Fellowship.
Checks can be mailed to:
   West Philadelphia Mennonite Fellowship
   4740 Baltimore Avenue
   Philadelphia, PA 19143
With "Sharing Fund" in the memo line

http://www.facebook.com/ForMercysSake?v=app_190322544333196

72 days of summer

2012-08-21T16:17:00.002-07:00

If anyone actually reads these; I solicit your feedback on this entry.

I was 7 the first time I was asked the infamous question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I can close my eyes and be taken back to that very moment in Easton Pennsylvania. Surrounded by sweaty Italians in their baptismal bests. I remember the picnic table, the small blue kiddy pool, the greenness of the grass under my feet, and the feeling and smell of air touching us.
"I want to be a teacher," I proclaimed.

Its difficult to articulate even now, but it wasn't the traditional vision of a "teacher" in today's society that I saw myself being.
By the time high school came around, and even more strongly by the time high school ended, I knew I wanted one thing. Independence. Everything else was secondary.
I call college my darker years. When I finally started breathing life, I celebrated leaving my zombie state of mind that was college. I lost a family and didn't quite yet know how to start healing. My desire to achieve total Independence became even brighter. Without anything to fall back on or a place to go home to, I had to survive. That was back in the days when I thought I needed to be in a particular place in order to be home. Silly girl.
I chose to become a special education teacher. Knowing it was my starting place. I had little confirmations daily that I made the "right" choice. My college professors and cooperating teachers raved about my natural skills to teach. So, I kept on going, right?
During my first four years of teaching I had some serious stuff to do. I had to fix a very broken Elissa. I didn't think the pain could hurt in any more places than it already did. But I was wrong. After a grossly disgusting breakup several months after graduating I found there were moments when the pain was so strong I didn't feel anything at all. I hit bottom.
I poured everything I had into being the best teacher I could be. I fell in love with the role of teacher. I fell in love with my students, whom I didn't realize until much later were in fact my teachers. I loved pouring good intentions into my space, our classroom. I spent hours building the library, growing plants, listening to students share stories, building relationships with these little bodies and minds, and learning more about life and our interconnectedness.
After graduating with a Master's in Teaching, ending another relationship, spending 4 years in therapy, and learning as much as I could about this broken educational system I decided to take my adventures elsewhere.

2,333 miles later I was in Tucson, Arizona. Along with a new job, I was also starting a whole new phase of healing. I had a great job as a Behavioral Specialist of a Public High School and a completely new life! What an adventure it was. There were moments where it was slightly eerie how magically things fell into place. I was given a community, friends, decent salary, and so much stinkin' love. My vibration began to shift.

During my short time in Tucson I began putting words to why I felt I wasn't supposed to be a teacher. But it wasn't until these last 72 days of summer vacation that I finally got it.
drum roll please...
I don't believe the environments that we've created in these rigid buildings, with hundreds of external laws and rules governing every decision are where or how people learn. What has become of public education? How did it get to this? A place where test makers make millions, students share a room with 40 other bodies, and teachers work two jobs?
I feel worn down by the despair emanated from colleagues, students, principals... anyone who has anything to do with Public Education. (Other than those who make the pretty pennies at the top, obviously.)
I can almost taste the next phase.

"You want to be a hula hooper?" you ask. Yes, well, no, but yes.
If I were to be asked to today what I want to be when I grow up I think this is how I would respond;
I dream of being a teacher. And a student.
I dream of balance. Within myself and all over this earth.
I dream of being a famous children's book author.
I dream of being a travel writer.
I dream of writing about how to wake up happy.
I dream of a world where we all radiate love.
I dream of a world where people do not fear.
I dream of helping others share their stories.
I dream of starting an epidemic of kindness and love.
I dream of a world where people freely encourage others.
I dream of giving.
I dream of being on Dancing with the Stars.
I dream of living amongst an entire humanity that is more often blissed out than stressed.

I wouldn't replace a single experience I've lived. The very hardest make the good times taste sweeter and richer.
And here I find myself. Ready, ready, ready, to leap... knowing that if I do, the net will appear, but unsure what the leap looks like, or maybe I do?

All thoughts are welcome.
ecirignotta@gmail.com

Project Andrawesome

2012-08-21T11:43:00.001-07:00

Bucket List Addition

2012-08-14T11:29:00.001-07:00

There are many things I would like to do, many places I would like to see, and many people I would like to meet during this lifetime. It seems the more I live, the less I plan for the adventures. Some of my most memorable, magical experiences were the unplanned, unexpected adventures. I've never quite known what to do with the traditional "bucket list". You see, I operate under the assumption/belief that I can do whatever I want to do, and what I chose is the right thing to do. Essentially the whole world is on my bucket list. I try my very best to maximize every moment no matter where I may be, what I may be doing or with whom I may be with; I suppose my goal is to be present in this moment, despite knowing I want to see the whole world over. However when I stumbled across these glass igloos, I knew they were a must.

Hotel Kakslauttanen is in the vicinity of Urho Kekkonen National Park in Finland. They have 40 first-class log cabins, including five queen suites, one honeymoon turf chamber and one traditional Lappish farmer log house. Each cabin comes with its own peaceful garden area. If you are a sauna lover, as I am, you may enjoy the world’s largest smoke sauna, equipped with its own restaurant, the main building log house restaurant, two exotic Lapishtent restaurants and a charming snow restaurant.
Now obviously, the deepest draw to this place are their unique futuristic glass igloos! Supposedly you can view the northern lights while being in the comfort of a "normal" room temperature under the glass ceiling.

Imagine falling asleep in this place.