Sound Discourse

Prove Them Wrong

2015-10-07T20:52:00.000-04:00

Everyone loves a come back story.

Your closest allies cheering you on, colleagues and acquaintances nodding in approving eye squints, and your foes are silenced. They can't even look you in the eye. You've won.

Maybe they'll write a blurb about your success on an insider's tip sheet. Congratulations and welcome friend to the inside. Oh man, this is it. This is it! This is it?

Maybe you'll crash and burn. Maybe that article is 3...5...11 years premature.

What Now?

I read an article recently on why Millennials were unhappy. Normally, I hate all articles that try to explain away the pain or generalize millions of people in one fell swoop. But, it kind of did... with this one little formula:

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

I don't have to explain this any further. You know where the flaw is in your math.

Well guess what internet? Sorry, I'm not sorry. There's a big difference in thinking life will be handed to you on a silver platter and that having a strong work ethic will work out in your favor over the longterm.

There's really two different types of disappointment: The delusional kind and the jaded kind.

Delusional: I'm just gonna sit back and wait for everyone to find out how awesome I am. Make tons of money and clock out at 5pm.
Jaded: Watching the office slacker get promoted over you because he metaphorically-metaphysically-maybe actual does do the nasty with the boss. FML.

#TeamJaded all day long. It comes in waves, so solidarity friends. I got choo boo.

I like jaded reality, actually. It's cathartic to know the truth about how the world works–even when you have to find it out in painstakingly drawn out experiences. One at a time. Politics man.

The skeptic in me wants you all to know that you should still stay cautiously skeptical, but to never lower your expectations. Ever.

Life has a way of rewarding the hard workers, the go-getters, the jaded that never let the situation define them, the overcomers, the people that never take no for an answer, the ones that fail and try again, and the ones who keep their eye on the prize.

So go on. The road will be long. Don't let short term distractions derail you. That's how you win. That's how you prove them wrong. That's how you exceed your own crazy expectations.

via GIPHY

The New Establishment

2015-08-18T21:50:00.003-04:00

I started out this post with an idea that I should really write a series on being young and employed in politics. I stopped shortly after because I knew I only wanted to tell a negative story about my experiences dealing with terrible clients or coworkers. See even right there I wanted to say shitty coworkers. I couldn't not say that, because I'm so totally blown away by how preposterous business is done in DC sometimes.

It comes down to backbone and integrity. Do you have it?

When I meet someone in DC that is genuine I hold onto them with both hands. They simply cannot escape me. I will make you my friend and we will never leave each other's side. I half joke, but it is really hard to find people that are genuine insofar as I have my own criteria: Will this person tell me how they really feel? Does this person have a morale compass? Does this person seek out justice? Does this person strive for greatness? Is this person unapologetic about everything mentioned above? If the answer is yes, then congratulations: you are my new best friend!

I don't mean to say that DC is full of bad people. Not at all. It's just there are very few people I've had the pleasure of meeting or working with that are both blunt and charming and actually do their own work.

I've come to realize that you can't put a price tag on work ethic. One of my favorite things about working in politics in DC is that I'm surrounded by people who have a stake in the game and a desire to see their cause advanced. The thrill isn't monetary it's historic. We all have a chance to redirect the course of history. We have the privilege to shape generations to come.

I've just seen too many good people move up only to move right back down (in my mind only). Call it drunk with power or overwhelmed with excessive budgets. It's like the culling of operatives happens at the mid to senior managerial level–that's where good workers lose their freakin' minds and take their eyes off the prize. I know it's normal to try to position yourself for success and promotion, but it's a haunting experience to watch as decisions are made that hurt the overall objectives of an organization or movement and benefit the individual(s) making the decision.

Is this why people leave politics? I've wondered more than I'd like to tally.

I feel like such a jerk for all those times when I was 20 and so skeptical of the "losers" who couldn't stand the heat of politics. I believe at one time I referred to someone who left DC by quoting Queen lyrics, "Another one bites the dust." GOOD GOD if I could go back I would punch myself in the face. You're welcome America.

Ignoring my past shortcomings and focusing on my learned life lessons, let's move forward.

Take it from me, being blunt has only ever helped me getting new jobs. Politicos love jackasses. It just so happens when I'm looking for another job I have plenty of fire power fueling my flames. Why? Because employers love hiring passionate people. In theory they want to push their brand, mission, theories and experimentation... yea, so in actuality you would be shocked to find that doesn't necessary equate to success in the workplace. Internal politics and the soft cooing of agreement breeds promotion in this town.

Let me make it abundantly clear the problem is not the people, it is the process. Haters gonna hate. And I am a total hater but I play the long game.

Frustration with the system has stuck with me for years now. I've never worked for the government, so when I say 'system' I'm talking DC's auxiliary establishment. I have been plagued with thoughts of how I could change it to build a new way of doing business, a new way of rewarding truly innovative operatives, and christening the new establishment.

Feel me? Want to collaborate? Let's talk!

Not Boy Crazy (Anymore), Just Career Obsessed

2015-05-12T21:14:00.001-04:00

Somewhere in early 2012 I stopped being boy crazy. How do I know this? Because I stopped blogging about them. In fact, it was the Spring right before I decided to go steady with my now boyfriend. I called that one Relationship Filibuster. Total cheese ball.

I really do wear my heart on my sleeve. And it isn't exclusive to relationships, I do the same at work. ...I was trying to come up with some sort of metaphor that related promotions to dating, but that would equate to like marriage, and no one stays with a company their whole life anymore. Ironically still (and call me a romantic), I'm a big fan of the married for life philosophy.

As a child of divorce of course I'm careful about taking vows and that's not a bad thing. Patience is a virtual and right now I'm just practicing–ha! Recently a coworker sent me a link with stats on Millennials (roughly 18-34 year olds) and only 4% of that group are married with children and own their own home. That was suppose to be a shocking stat, but is it really?

Weddings are ridiculously expensive and I don't trust people that own homes in their twenties. What witchcraft are you into?

We are a generation that believes in planning and saving. We discuss stuff like paying off debts, children's college funds and our parent's debt we could potentially assume–before moving in with each other–you know, to our overpriced one bedroom apartment that isn't even in DC proper, le sighhhh. It's the only place that allows dogs over 50lbs.

In case you haven't picked up on this, I speak in broad generalizations that aren't generalizations at all. It's me. Very specifically me.

It's a constant struggle between third and first person. This is why I don't do Comms.

So marriage is romantic, but work commitments are a jail sentence? Let me break it down. Weddings are romantic, marriage is hard work. Starting a new job is exciting, staying at your job is hard work. The whole concept of 'settling down' is the sticking point for me and I would venture to assume the same goes for my Millennial counterparts.

I just haven't found The One job that's right for me, but there's the dream of something else*. I feel like every one of my job breakups have amounted to something like this: *https://youtu.be/DKJgj5O0V7w

Cue my You've Got Mail obsession.

This is the part where I point out that I'm not married. My family reminds me every time I go home. When are you going to get married and give me a grand baby? I'm always more excited to talk about my latest project at work or on the side. They could not care less. Yea yea that's nice, so how's Kevin?

They aren't judge-y or anything, just extremely anxious. My 21 year old sister got married this past December, but somehow the lineage questions still falls on my plate? Amy, I love you, if you read this no offense at all just please have a baby. See my sister, is not one of those young brides. She gets it. Her and her hubby are perfect for each other. High school sweethearts. Soul mates if you will. She trusts love and commitment. I on the other hand do not, I only trust myself.

I trust myself not to fuck anything up. Not to cheat. Not to get the client pitch wrong. Not to get screwed over in a business deal. Not to roll over. Not to run out of money. Not to give up on myself. Not to get pregnant.

You see, I have trust issues.

Or, maybe it's control issues, either way I see the worst in people at a higher frequency than the good. I'm a skeptic of life. You want to do something nice for me? What's in it for you? I must read the fine print before committing. Oh I can have a raise 6 months from now? ...Homes, this ain't my first rodeo.

The good news is by wandering around making a ton of mistakes I've happened upon my constant and the one person that balances me out, Kev. We've been together for 3 1/2 years now for a reason, he embodies everything that I clearly lack: Trust, unconditional love, great taste in music, selflessness and can't-breathe-so-funny-humor. BONUS: completely different than all my other beaus.

I don't have a "type." It's cheap to try to categorize the men I've seen. They generally make me feel good about myself until they don't. I was always moving the goal post. And, as you all know, when the metrics are changed without being clearly communicated process breakdown occurs, people get frustrated and dissatisfied, people want to move on to other opportunities. They quit.

The business of heartache is so stupid. If I could go back and still retain the collective knowledge I've amassed over the years I would have never dated anyone and focused all my time on getting into a better undergraduate program, preferably Ivy League and taken on more jobs.

But what is a life without love? Fucking miserable that's what. I am lucky to have had those experiences over the years. However much I hate them now they made me a better coworker, neighborhood, girlfriend and boss.

I traded in my Cosmo magazines for the Harvard Business Review because I don't care about mastering the 30 technics to pleasuring my man as prescribed by some liberal arts major. I'm confident in me, boo. I've got a liberal arts degree too. SEC baby!

But what makes me stop and appreciate my growth, is that now all my heartache is associated in professional settings. I don't cry about boys anymore and that fact alone is monumental to me. I do cry–Oh my god do I cry–home alone and self shaming-mad-at-myself sobbing that I can't change work place situations or more generally the World. But I don't give up, I double down. It's so easy to break up with someone, it's so easy to quit your job. It is not easy to make a relationship work, a marriage work, a partnership work, a contract work.

I still listen to the same love songs when I write my blog posts. It's just I'm more in love with fulfilling a destiny than finding The One. I find the same inspiration from Maroon 5 now that I did when I was in high school and in love with a boy that never returned the sentiment.

Priorities change ladies. Rejection is good--it prepares you for job interviews, salary negotiations and stakeholder review meetings. I don't know about you, but being rejected made me the strong person I am today. Nothing could possibly shake me as much as the first time a boy broke up with me. I was 16. Not until the time I found out my boyfriend cheated on me when I was 21. Overshadowed still when I realized I was working for a scumbag when I was 23.

So what's waiting for me in the future? I don't know, but come at me bros.

$$

Quarter Life Crisis Part Duex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2015-02-09T21:34:00.000-05:00

All of my friends are neutral on their jobs. If I could give 2015 a description I would say it's bland. Everyone I know, with the exception of my journalist friends, are just going along to get along at work.

By the way, I still think the journalists are feeling this too, but they would never admit it because I think they think its beneath the profession to say it out loud.

It seems everyone wants another job, but does not want to spend an ounce of effort to go about the process. I think Millennials have cracked. We just want to earn a pay check, build some wealth, and master an extracurricular activity. I personally am dedicated to getting back in shape. I take a Yoga, Pilates, or Barre class at least once a day. I am the single-urban equivalent of a stay at home mom. Yuck. Also, that was a humble brag. I WORK OUT!

So what's the deal with all this whatever-ness? I will venture to guess that the cause of this indifference is due to the stalemate that has been Washington, DC since 2008. How much change can actually happen if your side doesn't control the White House? (Another point to my journalist friends)

Too often are Bush era staffers (*ahem* my boyfriend and crew) quick to forget that there is an entire "generation" of young politicos that have never experienced what it's like to own this town. We don't have public sector experience. We don't know what executive branch management looks like. We can't even name the suite of cabinet members. There is a minor league version of what use to be.

But don't think for one second we lack in talent what we so visibly show in campaign loses and bruised egos. We have been here 7 years scraping for little campaign or policy wins - our clients are super happy with us because our ad conversion rates are above average consistently. And we've got some Pollie Awards to prove we mean business. We bought our participation trophies, you can keep your White House credentials. Please tell me more about how I never saw George or Smithpoint in their glory.

There are only so many committees, advocacy groups, and firms one person can work for in this city before there is little to envy in terms of titles and connections. Why work on the Hill when you can bag an association paycheck? My resume reads like a Rachel Maddow hit list. Should I go work for a Republican Governor? Am I part of the 'Establishment' if my credit isn't? ... These are the thoughts that go through my head before I even get out of the shower in the morning.

My caveat: I love what I do.

If you're thinking, "WTF Sarah and your point is?" Shhhhh, I'm getting there.

At the end of one of my yoga classes last week my Yogi challenged us with this:

You are not what you do. You are not what you don't do. You are how you do it.

It's crazy for me to constantly be asking myself, "Am I making the big difference I sought out to when I moved to DC?" Because, how can I objectively determine if I'm succeeding or failing if I'm looking at the short term?

I made the determination when I was in high school that I could have the greatest impact on the world around me if I devoted my life to politics and government. I could impact things on a macro-level. After-all elections change the leadership, the leadership changes the legislative and operational agenda, and those policies and decisions change peoples lives.

So what happens when you aren't excited about any of the candidates in the election? And when you lose faith in the leadership's ability to make the right call? And when the policies harm the way of life of those it affects? Or when the leadership misses the mark on what really matters to the people they represent, because lobbyists and special interest groups stand in the way of real progress? When everyone is so focused on the macro, that they miss the more important micro stories. The real people. The struggle.

When you're surrounded by prosperity and in a dog fight to climb up work and social ladders, it's easy to forget that a $50k salary anywhere else in the country would be a godsend--not an insult. That minimum wage for a full time employee is $15,080/year. And that the poverty level for a single person is $11,945; $22,283 for a family of four. Oh, and that our real purchasing power is about where it was in the early 1980s. We can do better. We have to do better.

If this pisses you off work harder. I don't care who you work for or what your role is, just be mad and channel that energy to change something for the good. You answer those front desk phone calls like a g--d--m boss and transfer them like your life depends on it. Place those ad buys like the sweet swish of game winning shot. Ghost write the hell out of that op-ed like you're the SOTU speech writer. And make those cold calls like you're auditioning for The Voice.

Just work hard and be patient. Things will fall into place soon. Your rut may just be your launching pad. Until that day, solidarity in perseverance. You don't owe it to anyone to show off. Do it for yourself. That's when you win. That is when you move up.

Quarter Life Crisis Part 1

2014-10-15T10:10:00.001-04:00

I am obsessed with winning. Unfortunately, my political record doesn't reflect this. Like my fantasy leagues this year, I am mediocre at best. 1-2.

2008 (primary) L
2010 (primary) W
2012 (general) L
2014 (general) ?

The good news (if you want to look at it that way)... is that I'm not on the record this year. This midterm I'm like a cheerleader - Ra ra sis boom ba gooooooooooo individual liberties and the free market! This year I focus on turning out strong support among my peers on issue based voting.

This year I can't lose. I also can't win and it's driving me crazy.

The funny thing about growing older and wiser is that I prefer to place the emphasis on being wiser.

A college junior in New Hampshire recently told me he thought I looked 30. I'm 25 for the record, and had that punk not been volunteering at my call bank I would have publicly shamed him on Yik Yak. Because I'm an adult, I just told him I thought he looked 17.

I still get the fabulous luxury of field work this cycle, as you can tell from above mentioned supporter.

Carpetbagger, establishment hag, and ginger bitch - come to mind as favorite nicknames adorned from the campaign trail. And that was friendly fire. Can you imagine why no normal women want to run for office?

Campaigns are the worst thing and the best thing. People that chose to work on campaigns are self-inflicting, self-important, self-deprecating, selfish-- lucky bastards and I'm so jealous so they can all just shut up already.

It's war. And your coworkers go to battle with you every day. I'd say it's a noble job, but it's not. It's keeping volunteers on script and keeping the crazy county party from annexing themselves from the state party because they feel they haven't received the appropriate amount of campaign bumper stickers.

"Bush '04 gave us bumper stickers AND yard signs!"

Entitled comes to mind... This is why we can't have nice things.

I suddenly remember why it's so nice having a steady desk job. Quarter life crisis, you'll just have to wait while I'm paving the way to electoral victory in 2016. Sometimes breaks are good.

I'll take the next few weeks on the road to suck in all that campaign field work has to offer - without any of the worrying over hypotheticals where I end up with another "L" on my record and jobless. And, of course, have a few laughs at the newbies expense.

Oh my god, we have to shift resources? The sky is falling.

A Country Christmas

2013-12-31T12:14:00.001-05:00

I took Kevin down to South Carolina for Christmas break. I consider it break since my fabulous employer gave us paid leave between Christmas Eve and NYD. It's like school all over again and I'm just as giddy!

Tut of course did not make the trip. The dog absolutely freaks for any time he is in a moving car. Even after 2 hours, he'll still be whining. He stayed with Aunt Cassandra in the old Eastern Market house. Just as well, I think he likes being near the Marine Barracks, notably the marines. (When they marched down the street he thinks they are calling out to him - "Hut!")

Kev and I made the 8 hour drive down to Greenville, SC in record time. We listened to books on tape to make the drive go by faster, also because we are practicing for retirement. Spy novels! Seriously though, if we had to listen to Christmas songs or Top 40 radio I may not have made it south of Durham, NC.

In one of the lulls between the audio book we were listening to I tried to explain the intricacies of southern slang and insults. Country, I explained, is what you call someone who is truly twangy and/or tacky. It's the new Redneck - since redneck became so mainstream. Everyone back home ironically self identifies as a redneck. I attribute this to Jeff Foxworthy. I grew up being told by my parents that we were Hillbillies turned Rednecks (SC by way of WV). No, Dad, please stop.

You see my boyfriend hails from The Los Angeles, CA and finds the sub-culture I grew up in quite fascinating. Prior to meeting me he had only ever visited the southern cities of Charleston (for a wedding) and New Orleans (for work and several bachelor parties) hardly anything to shake a stick at. I take any chance I get to acquaint him with the truly country - only funny because my family is slowly becoming more southern as the years go by. I don't have an accent and neither did any of my family members up until I left for college. Somewhere in the past 5 years everyone else became country music fans and started speaking with a drawl. That is until I've been there a few days, and I start speaking a little more slowly - or so Kevin tells me. Y'all, I can't even.

There's something about going home that really makes me miss all the open spaces and the slower pace. It's the change of priorities that stand out the most. Good and bad. At the end of the day though, I know deep down that moving back would never work out. But, it's good to get back to recalibrate. What else are family and friends here for than to remind you where you came from?

White Elephant with my Dad's side of the family.

Through all the dinners and family gatherings it was wonderful seeing the man-friend get to know my family and friends better. We got to stay with my bff from high school, Evangeline (Shug) and her boyfriend, which is basically the best present ever. The guys like to say that when we get together we become the same person - which is basically us talking with creepy accents that the guys still find adorable. Oh and they got us Christmas socks! Awesome.

Bear socks for bare feet. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Christmas this year was a great success! And, to top it all off, I (we) bought new dinning room chairs and a coffee maker for the apartment! Look at me cohabiting and playing house! Oh if 22 year old Sarah could see me now!

* Updated: I can't believe I forgot to mention that Kevin had to attend the only Catholic mass available to him on Christmas day - in Polish. Who'd guess that there was such a high demand for that? Wesołych Świąt! *

Hey 2013, Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out!

2013-12-22T12:02:00.000-05:00

Christmas time and New Years really does bring out the best and worst in me. I am very optimistic for the future, excited to spend time with my family and friends, proud of the achievements I made over the past year, and hypercritical of all of my mistakes.

I have barely blogged this year. My #1 regret. I can only describe this year as full of highs and lows (and I have a blog archive full of unpublished posts to prove it.) I didn't share anything because was scared of coming off too proud/angry. I held a lot in and lost perspective on what was going on around me. I was a pressure cooker. For example, I wrote:

I think it's really easy to drop the line "Man this city really makes you cynical" or "Damn, this work really does drive you to drinking." It's easy because it's the obvious thing to say -- it's right there in front of you every day. How grown up am I? I have other grown up cynical friends that are also boring, have drinking problems and prescriptions to performance enhancing drugs. What am I doing with my life? Working at a dead-end job and feeling handcuffed to it until then next election cycle for fear of looking too "Millennial" on my resume.

If there is one thing I hate more than generalizations it is stereotypes. And, unfortunately, I couldn't escape either this year. I decided that I needed an intervention after self diagnosing myself as a stick-in-the-mud. Somewhere in the last year I forgot to breathe and just look around -- not critically, but as an observer (I'm really good at the former, I've discovered).

I have spent the good part of the last year complaining and finding faults in everyone around me. It certainly didn't help that it all started with a crushing defeat in the '12 cycle. I think I went into 2013 thinking, "Everything is going to shit, but hey at least I'm one of the lucky ones that got a job." Screaming endorsement for a successful year. As we all know, the rush to bag a job post-Election Day usually never pans out for the long term. But, by holding it in I never got the chance to hear how everyone else felt about their job. Clarification: I never took the time to listen. Turns out, I wasn't the only one - not by a long shot.

The day after my 24th birthday everything changed and I realized that I was living with a bag over my head. That was when I started changing things up. I ruffled a lot of feathers because I fell out of line. I had my very first DC power scuffle! I was so upset that I had to cut ties with someone I had once held in high regard. What would people think of me? What would people say about me? Turns out no one was talking at all - funny how that happens.

Now I find myself 11 days out from the start of 2014 and I couldn't be more excited for the year ahead. Through the ups and downs, I'm walking away from 2013 with several new battle scars and a lot to be thankful for. I have a new job on a great tech team full of talented individuals and our plans for next year make me do a little happy dance. So many friends got married this year and welcomed new babies into the world and even more are prepping for the same this coming year! You are the ones that helped me put everything into perspective the most, so let me close by saying thank you.

My top four life lesson learned from 2013:

1. Surrounding yourself with the wrong sorts of people is more harmful than knowing good people is helpful. The negativity, drama, and tumult they bring to your life wastes time and distracts you from focusing on yourself and the things and people that actually matter.

2. Not all friends are created equal, and not all of them stand the test of time. And that is ok. As I get older, my perspective on life changes, the things I value and appreciate morph. And, I'm not the only one! This happens to everyone. And sometimes where I change, so does a friend, but in a different direction. You don't need to chase everyone down their own path.

3. Don't compare your life with the lives of your friends as depicted on social media. Some of the saddest people I know in real life look to have the most exciting lives on Facebook and Instagram. Filters and selective sharing will do that - it's called building a personal brand, people. Enjoy your life for everything it is that can't be captured in 140 characters. (But, still be happy for all of your friends' successes)

4. Don't be fearful of threats. Those who threaten you are the ones who stand to lose the most. Stick to your principles and trust your gut.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life!

-Sarah

Introductory Guide to The District (For Interns)

2013-06-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

I have been a resident of the Greater Washington area for 3 years now, which began with three months as an intern. Over my time as a resident and a tourist I've learned a lot about the daily grind and taboos of the city. This post is my way of passing on the knowledge of my interactions and observations learned over the past few years that are particularly relevant to incoming interns.

For continuity's sake I will start with the basics and move onto the greater complexities of how this city judges it's inhabitants:

Metro Etiquette: Stand to the right on the escalator, walk on the left. A simple enough concept that visitors quickly catch on to (especially during rush hours). This is the most important city in the free world, people have places to go and people to see! The rush may seem absurd to the leisurely visitor, but trust me: if you make someone miss their train don't expect the welcome wagon. Side note: Take notice of a person's body language before asking a question or starting up conversation. Most people prefer to be left alone to their thoughts. You don't want to embarrass yourself by getting shot down in a metro car (then sit there in the awkward aftermath until your next stop, which is probably Metro Center or Federal Triangle).

The Wardrobe: Dress to impress. First impressions are not easily forgotten! People will try to size you up by the watch, shoes, dress, or hairstyle you are rocking. No wrinkles, pleats, or sparkles need apply. This is not NYC, you won't find the masses in Louis Vutton heels and Vera Wang dresses - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be dressed in sweatpants. A friend of mine best put this into perspective when he said, "People trust their peers, not outsiders." If you dress like a metal head, don't expect to be invited into The Madison. Dress like an entry level employee, don't expect to roll with the executives. DC is a Lilly Pulitzer, Tori Burch, Burberry kind of town - it has a very southern feel to it, so wear that and you'll fit in just fine! Personally, I recommend a little flavor. Add your personality to your wardrobe for a little POW!

Now, if you aren't into "materialistic things" and the "status quo" you are one of two types of people:
a) A hipster - in which case you dress like you work for a Che Guevara PAC or a fair trade advocacy group and spend just as much money on looking underground as you would on clothes from J Crew or Anthro. OR you give zero fucks, and your career matches your ensemble.
b) A libertarian - in which case you learn to embrace the capitalism behind the materialism OR move back home because DC just didn't understand about how right you were about the gold standard. You showed them!

My best advice: Try to avoid the 1990s Hilary-esque pant suit look and kitten heels (h/t WSWCM)
All in all, take care of yourself. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will either.

Name dropping: This is an art form that I see butchered on a daily basis, and it just so happens to be my biggest pet peeve. Name droppers suck - that's universal. If you want to drop a name be smart about it... don't come out and say it, make the people work for it. If they don't give a shit enough to ask you for more information, guess what: they don't care. Wait for another time. Rarely is anyone impressed that you were in a hearing and a Senator asked you for a tissue or you sat beside the hot new political writer in CPAC's blogger box. Name dropping is all about the art of subtlety, so for goodness sakes be subtle if you insist on name dropping in the first place!

The Happy hour buzz: It's called a happy hour, not a power hour. While the idea of free alcohol may send you running back to the bar due to the adrenaline rush, resist the urge to load up like there's a run on booze. HH's are a great resource to find and make friends in the city, but if you treat them like your personal liquor distributor it won't be long before you make a fool of yourself. I do my best to abide by the 2 drink maximum rule. You never want to be sloppy. Even if you have to nurse the same drink for an hour - you are much better off doing that than matching your companions drink-for-drink. After all, the name of the game is to come out on top: You want to walk away having more information than when you got there. Be tight lipped and just listen to what everyone else happens to spill. Before you open your mouth always ask yourself, "What do I gain from telling him/her this?" if there is nothing to gain, don't say it.

Gossip: Beware of your company. It's a small town, chances are if you're talking about someone it will get back to them. Be very careful of talking about someone in the midst of a stranger/acquaintance because chances are they know of or are friends with that person. I've been bitten in the ass with this one before - loyalty is hard to come by and takes a lot of time to cultivate. Just because they haven't met said person doesn't mean they won't in the future. Everyone talks, and I mean everyone. I'm guilty of doing this myself. If someone is stupid enough to run their mouth in front of mixed company to show off you better believe, if given the chance, those people will use it their advantage. Practice safe situational awareness.

Celebrities: Be cool, don't swoon. For political nerds, like me, running into Hilary Clinton or John Boehner probably feels like the equivalent of what a normal person my experience when encountering George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The difference between Hollywood and The District, however, is that you are an actor on the same stage. Act like an extra and that's where you will stay. Be confident and always have a backup plan as far as conversation goes as to avoid awkward small talk and lengthy pauses in conversation. Most importantly, just be a reasuring presence. People pick up on the vibes you give off.

Work Ethic: Most importantly, work hard every day. No one task is beneath you. Everyone has to sharpen their teeth by first answering phone calls, alphabetizing files and delivering coffee - Including your boss. If you can't manage to smile through the easy stuff, why would anyone trust you with an actual job.

MORE importantly, enjoy the city! Get out and have fun. Take advantage of all the free lunches, seminars, dinners, galas, happy hours... etc. Make it a priority to meet new people every day and just generally be open to new experiences. You never know who you'll run into and how he/she will change your life. All of the best opportunities I've had in this city came from a last minute decision to attend an event or party. DC is a social city - see or be seen! If you came here to make waves then you better not think you can do that from the comfort of your desk at work and home alone.

Photo h/t freefashioninternships.com

Blackberry Status

2013-01-22T23:17:00.000-05:00

Blackberries get more love around these parts than people do. There is a certain status attributed to having an additional "work" BB. Just walk into any bar after work or look around your metro train and you will notice the coupling up of Master & Phone. It's an affair many become addicted to... or perhaps accustom to. This is the one city on Earth where checking your phone 24/7 isn't considered rude, as it's disguised under the rouse of "highly classified and time sensitive work". I admit I find myself slipping into this custom on the occasion, but I still find it utterly ridiculous that I see people doing this at happy hours and weekend brunch. No one believes you are actually as busy as you may think you are. Think about it, when's the last time you stopped to reflect on your friends or roommates self proclaimed busy day? Now think about how often you tell other people about your busy day.

There is a lot going on in this city on any given day. Shit is going down everywhere, and everyone is pushing it around in every which way. It's so easy to get a fat head, but let me suggest that you don't for one simple reason: no one likes a fat head. It's so embarrassing to be subjected to people puffing themselves up, because in my head everyone else who is listening can't wait to pull out their metaphorical pin and pop their balloon. Truth.

The cool kids don't brag that they have Blackberries, they also don't point out that others do not. We all get our chances and take our licks in this city for little milestones. In all realty BB status is just your boss's way of getting more work out of you while off the clock.

Find the person without a BB and undoubtedly they'll overcompensate by bragging about their iPhone and how ancient the BB is in the digital space. Remember: your cell phone says a lot about you. Kind of like when someone goes off on a rant about the iPhone and after 2 seconds of trying to figuring out why it hits you - droid owner. Ugh the Droid, it's like the redheaded step child of the mobile world. (Written by a redhead and published on the internet so obviously it carries weight.) Constantly striving to prove it's superiority, all the while being mocked by the competition. Gingers have souls!

In conclusion, my DC lovers, keep your heads up. Whether you are with BB or without this is a magical city full of opportunities. My advice either way, rock your mobile. Let no device out stage your confidence! In fact, if you have a Razor in hand use it to your advantage:

Dude at bar: Oh ha, you have a Razor, how 2006 of you darling.

You: I will cut you.

::Cue laugh track::

Notice: This may backfire, it's all about a flirty delivery and reading proper social cues. Happy hunting/networking ladies!

Career Moves - When Is It O.K.?

2012-10-13T17:54:00.000-04:00

Last spring, I was in an anxious rut. My job was not fulfilling, and I started wondering if I was stuck with it because it was too late for me to change career paths. I was destined for a life of cold calls - Never mind that I was 22 years old. Did my job suck? Not really, and not compared to the crap jobs all my other friends had. Still, it was mundane. Then it happened. The judicial gods of the DC Municipal Court liberated me from the agony and summoned me to 2 glorious months of Grand Jury duty. The thing you learn about “jury” is that it gives you a lot of time to reflect, and that’s what I did. Maybe I could be one of those people that loved waking up - specifically - to work!

During my duty of exercising justice, I started floating my resume around town. I got responses faster than I expected (let's hope this holds true post-Election Day). After it was all said and done, I decided to take a gig in New Mexico through the elections. It was awesome, Everyone looked at me like I just told them I was going to the moon or something. I was high on endorphins for a solid 2 weeks, right up until I had to board the plane ::GULP:: ..."Does Albuquerque have a wide selection of weekend boozy brunch hot spots?"

I could write a book on my experiences since coming to New Mexico. I have grown leaps and bounds personally and professionally since arriving in August, but the point I'm driving at is that change is a catalyst for growth. I previously worked for an outstanding organization that I strongly support and admire. But if you aren't playing the right role within your business or organization - that allows for career advancement and professional growth - I encourage you to keep an eye open for something that does. Is it what you are doing or where you are working?

As Washingtonians or fresh transplants, we take pride in the places we call "work". It means so much more than a title at the end of the day. It's not enough to respect the mission statement of where you work, but more important that you respect the role you play in accomplishing a small feat from within that mission statement. It's the reason I stayed at my previous job, it was a respectful job and I was accomplishing important tasks. At some point though you need to step back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "Could someone else do this just as well as I could?" I looked around at all my coworkers and the honest answer was, "Yeah, they probably could."

I didn't move to DC to become another cog in the machine. And while it may take years for me to move past "resident cog," I want to spend my time growing and doing jobs that I can do better than everyone else. New Mexico has helped add a couple more layers to my skin. I've been roughed up and spit out. But guess what? Little Miss Shy South Carolina grew into her britches. And now when people come a'swingin' I don't budge, sulk, and get mad - I just stand my ground.

It's one thing to be steadfast on your personal convictions; it's another to find your voice professionally. Once removed from the confines and comfort of structured bureaucracy I found myself in the Wild West - out here I'm a "carpetbagger" to many, but to some my work made all the difference. All that matters is that I make a positive difference and I continue to achieve my goals. Election Day is 24 days away and the fight continues for me. I just hope that you are as fired up for your job as I am. Now I wake up every morning and can't wait to get to work.

No matter what this saying always holds true, "The adventure you're looking for is the one you get." Don't close yourself off to change. Sometimes the best opportunities come in the strangest packages. It's not too much to go after the career you've always wanted. You define your professional circumstances - not anyone or anything else. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Go forth and kick ass.

The Relationship Filibuster

2012-03-18T23:22:00.002-04:00

The Cherry Blossoms are out, it is Springtime once again in the District of Columbia. I am proud to announce it's my one year anniversary with the city - our relationship is still going strong. We've made it through unemployment, crazy landlords, a break up, the dating scene, 3 moves (yes 3 different addresses), training a puppy, interoffice drama, family weddings, and the holidays. The last year in retrospect has completely flipped my world upside down and for the better. This little South Carolinian is now a resident of (what I refer to as) the capital of the world and I'm loving every minute of it.

Now it's no surprise that in my world of twenty somethings the topic of men monopolize the conversation. This post is dedicated to the women of DC trying to find love, keep love, and make it last.

The following are conversations I've overheard within the past 2 months in the city limits:

Shacking Up
Girl #1, "My boyfriend just said we should move in together because his lease is up next month". Girl #2, "Dude, you just got proposed to... over gchat".

The Lame Duck
Girl #1, "Ugh he's so annoying, but he did just helped me move so I'm in for at least 3 more disappointing sex sessions". Girl #2, "Don't sell yourself short - go for the premature bj then bail".

The Perfect Political Union
Girl # 1, "So he finally proposed just the way she instructed him to". Girl #2, "Yea, he's gay".

One Way Commute
Guy #1, "I'd do anything for sex right now". Guy #2, "Would you go to NoVa"? Guy #1, "Fuck that dude, I don't like girls that much".

Ol' Reliable
Girl to a girl friend, "She's like a Camry, a lot of in-town miles".

Cyber Sex
Guy to a male friend, "You should use OK Cupid because it's like eHarmony with no commitment".

The Magic Number
Guy to male friend, "I'm done with feeling like if I'm not married by the time I'm 26 I'm a failure".

The Great Divide
Girl to younger girl, "You wouldn't understand because you're 22, but when you're our age [early 30s] the statue of limitation is 3 months. Then you know whether or not you're getting married". Boyfriend of younger girl, "Can we say 6 months"?

Just remind yourself, it could always be worse. Laugh at all the ridiculous moments - it's funny not frightening. Learn from your mistake, brush yourself off and get right back out into the fight. The men are plentiful, just be intuitive to what they are searching for as well. No one wants to be the flavor of the month only to be the last to realize it as he kicks you to the curb. Watch out for the clingers, the piggy-backers, and the scumbags. Yea that's about it...

Seriously, think about it: the dates with politicos downtown, the nights with the perfect tourist in Georgetown, the sex that makes your toes curl - these are the stories that make up your year, the stories that drive your happy hour and the ones that cause you and your roommates to break out into spontaneous dancing and laughter like you just won the lotto. Embrace it, don't fight it, let go lady! So he hasn't asked you out yet, so he hasn't proposed yet, so you haven't met him yet - don't sweat it! If you worry about the technicalities you miss all the little things that make up the big picture. Take each day in one at a time.

As soon as you start to worry about your timeline for being married and having babies you put yourself at a disadvantage. After all, what man will want to a date a crazy woman obsessed with walking down the aisle? I don't care if you're 18 or 38 - enjoy your life and you will naturally attract the right kind of people into your life. I know we are a city full of control freaks, so excuse the partisan rhetoric, but over regulation of your love life can lead to relationship deficits.

It's true, relationships take a back seat to work around here. Don't confuse your man's work ethic with avoiding your relationship. It's easy to place the blame on everyone else, meanwhile you are running your mouth and analyzing everything from his eating habits to his friends. Talk, talk, talk... who's filibustering who? Yield the floor dummy.

Do I Have An Expiration Date?

2012-01-12T01:09:00.000-05:00

It's easy to become consumed with your work in this town; After all, it is the cultural norm. Inevitably though, once we finally slow down and have time to think about ourselves we have a slight inclination to panic about the status of our personal lives. I don't care if you are legitimately single or in a four year long committed relationship, we can't help but panic. It's a biological question of the utmost urgency, "Will I find someone to grow old with or am I going to be alone?" We take a gamble with every relationship we enter into, with every day we stay single, and with every person we turn down at the bar.

From my experience speaking with other DC ladies we have a difficult time feeling satisfied and because of that "something better will come along" complex there is no rush to commit... in fact I've noticed it's the opposite. Woman are testing the water with many different guys and pushing anyone away who gives off a monogamous vibe. By that I mean, these poor nice guys are getting the boot for being viewed as wife hunting. Chivalry goes a long way, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase, "He's just too nice. I'm not attracted to that". It's no surprise to me that this city is filled with two different groups of women as a result: the 28 and under crowd with nothing to lose, and the 28 and over crowd looking to partner up after a decade of dating around.

There's that question of timing. How long is it acceptable to be single? Why does 28 seem to be the arbitrary deadline we give ourselves to be married or at least in a relationship with the man we hope to be our husband? Is there an expiration date on how attractive a candidate we are to men? When do we start worrying about fighting for attention with the next influx of younger, peppy women to the city?

The dynamic is really funny to me, because I've had to sit and console crying girlfriends in their early twenties and reassure them that they won't be alone forever after a fling with a douche bag blows up. All the while, they complain the instant some nice guy they've been seeing inquires about calling her his girlfriend. It's an interesting game we play and it's bound to come full circle sooner or later. We all have the hot streak 21-27, the freak out at 28, then the scramble after that. Before we know it, we'll be married in our thirties and ready to attack the 20 year old bimbo flirting with our husband (even though we did the same thing in our hay day).

Call it a right of passage, but we should do a better job at internalizing these flaws in judgement. Instead of giving that nice guy the run around and only using him for free dinners on the week between pay checks, perhaps you should be honest about your intentions. Who knows maybe you'll leave the window open for a future relationship with him when you really want it to count and he starts to look like everything you want. No one wants to be in a position when you find yourself wondering what could have been. Don't burn bridges and run around playing with men's hearts. Guy code is strong in this city and they do talk about you. Your reputation will follow you to work and down the aisle. Don't forget that. No respectable businessman or politician will associate himself with a woman with a sketchy past.

On the other hand, we are foolish to think the men of this town aren't aware of the intricacies surrounding our dating preferences. It's no wonder there are so many jerks out there, they adapted to the atmosphere we created. It's a simple story of supply and demand. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

We operate in a city where appearances are everything. Every day is an opportunity to define the future we all came here to secure. The only person that can hinder your success is you. Make no mistake there is no separation between our careers and our personal lives. Be smart. We don't have an expiration date, but we can spoil.

Pretty In Politics: A Blog About Our Special Interests

2012-01-09T14:01:00.001-05:00

I spent the weekend searching the interwebs for any sign of a local DC blogger that wrote with a yopro female audience in mind... I found none. I did find plenty of juicy sites left abandon in the graveyards of the Blogosphere - what a shame! I guess it's to be expected, the savvy single girl in this city is bound to get snatched up sooner or later. Since there seems to be a void I will do my best to continue the dialog into 2012.

With my roommates and gal pals as wing-women the material I can turn out in a week should be enough to write a short novel. I'm not kidding myself, none of this is possible without their inspiration... and of course the occasional gaffes that fall into my lap from a handful of Washington's best and brightest.

The week ahead should yield plenty of witty bar banter, men trouble and campaign rhetoric. See you on the other side of the New Hampshire primary!

Dating Purgatory

2012-01-06T17:00:00.002-05:00

I know many friends who would consider themselves in "dating purgatory": A place or state of suffering inhibited by the souls of women who are expiating their past relationship failures by overcompensating in their current role as lady friend in the hopes of going on to a recognizable and more socially accepted relationship. For some this could be as simple as an agreement to become girlfriend-boyfriend, being 'Facebook Official', or for the long term-ers a ring (preferably on her left hand's ring finger).

If you are in dating purgatory no doubt you've asked yourself all of these questions: Are we friends with benefits? Is he seeing anyone else? Does he really like me? How do I introduce him in social situations? Is he purposefully avoiding DTR? Am I avoiding it? Is this a game? How do I bring it up to him? Should I bring it up to him? Am I over thinking this? ...Yes.

Are you single and anxious? Trying desperately to find a man or define a relationship you are already in? One piece of advice: Don't be stupid. I know I'm not surrounded by stupid girls, but the consensus out there leads me to believe otherwise. There happens to be a science behind this and it's super easy, allow me to elaborate: If a man wants you in his life he'll do everything possible to get / keep you there. Don't play games, just be genuine. If someone is really into you they'll tend to mirror your demeanor. So before you go analyzing their every move, you should be aware of the signals you are emitting first. If there is no connection, he will bail. If you scare him, he will run away from you. If you come on too strong, he'll assume you are desperate and will use that to his advantage. Never throw yourself on anyone! If you don't respect yourself he never will. Most importantly don't force a relationship because you think it's convenient, or because you'd rather be dating someone than be single.

Not too long ago I spoke with an older woman in her 80's. She was curious about my job, boyfriend, future - all that jazz. She gave me the best advice about relationships I had ever heard. She asked me if I was going to settle down and get married since I had graduated from college and been together with the same guy for years. I laughed it off and said something to the affect of wanting to wait a couple more years before I go down that road. She delivered the most perfect comeback that I will never forget until the day I die, "You need to shit or get off the pot". She knocked the wind out of me and all I could muster up in a blushed tone was, "What"? "You need to shit or get off the pot. What are you waiting for"? Out of this entire exchange I still can't remember what I said, but I do know what I took away from that conversation: You can't be afraid to cut your losses and you can't be afraid to dive in head first. I will not live my life sitting on the crapper.

Point being: If you like someone tell them, if it blows up in your face then it wasn't meant to be. There are 7 billion people on this planet - to think you're destine to be alone is by far the silliest thought imaginable. Too often do I hear fantastic women cutting themselves down, it perplexes me! I don't care how hot, smart, successful, or rich some guy is because you have just as much to offer in a partnership. If you lose that balance, if you put him or yourself on a higher platform your relationship is destine to fail.

So now ask yourself: Is this guy a good fit for me? Does he respect me? Do I respect him? Is it always fun when we're together? If the answer is yes, then just be honest in moving forward. If you answer no to any of the questions above (or if you're unsure) I'd advice you to get off the pot. Time is something you can't get back.

Happy hunting ladies!

Good Food and Good Sex

2011-12-01T01:34:00.004-05:00

It would seem that it's near impossible to find common ground between married life and single life. As a single life aficionado that aspires one day to settle down I feel like it's my duty to bridge the gap between these two feuding factions the modern woman grapples with. Does it not seem like you have to pick sides?

If you're single you mock your married counterparts as quitters. Likewise, if you're married you shake your head in a disapproving manor as if the debauchery of promiscuity overwhelms your senses. Pretty sure these extremes are both ridiculous and stupid so let's not let our womanly hormones and high tempers run the show.

For the record this posting was completely inspired by this lady's article in the National Review: Suzanne Venkor "Why Marriage Eludes the Modern Woman". I admit I enjoyed the article until about 3 paragraphs in when I felt the sharp dagger of judgement slash through me:

Simply put, married life presupposes a maturity modern women don’t have.

Hold the presses! My first thought was to yell out, "Whatevs I could totes could be married right now if I wanted to"! But you know what, I'm not for a multitude of reasons and none of which have anything to do with anyone other than me so Ms. Venkor has a point - but her conclusion is a half truth. Simply put - I'm astutely aware of the maturity involved in deciding to spend the rest of your life with one person. I also know myself well enough to conclude I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. I don't think that warrants a label quite so harsh. Ah but she goes on to say:

We’ve been hearing a lot lately about young men who fail to grow up and become

good family men, but video games are not the culprit — women are. Men tend to

follow women’s lead — and it is women, not men, who fight Mother Nature.

Classic - now I'm a disgrace to the natural order of things. It get's better:

Indeed, feminists assure women they can’t possibly be happily married until men

change who they are or adapt their nature to accommodate the needs of women.

The needs of women? How exactly would you describe the difference between what's in a man's nature that I would change to be happily married?

“There are two ingredients to a healthy marriage: good food and good sex.”

She makes a point, I despise both.

Naturally, this philosophy will raise the ire of the most strident modern

woman who’s been taught to believe that cooking for a husband or

saying yes to sex amounts to indentured servitude.

I'll let Britney take this one.

They refuse to even accept that men have a greater sex drive than

women. In failing to understand the differences between men and

women,women have sabotaged their own happiness.

I feel like that's a battle all couples should take out in the bedroom - guarantee there's a happy ending.

As for the men, they aren’t so much choosing to be

immature as they are doing what they’re told. Tell a

man he’s dispensable, and he’ll quickly prove you right.

So let me get this straight - while the modern woman is immature and fighting natural inclinations at her own choosing her male counterparts are just helpless by design and along for the ride? I smell a fish.

Personally, this article gives the impression that men are all stupid and modern woman are all power hungry bitches. I have a bit more faith in the dating pool than that. And since when did modern become a substitute for single like it's an alternative lifestyle? "Are you married?" "No, I'm mod."

Marriage is a serious decision that should be respected and honored. It's a full time job. However, it's appalling that by making the choice to wait you get branded as unnatural and immature as opposed to - oh I don't know - responsible or reasonable? Not all feminists are out to "sabotage" the institution of marriage. Maybe some of us want to go into a life long union debt free, educated, experienced, financially stable, and yes mature. It's kind of hard to work on being a better you if your responsibilities now include an extra head. And let's not forget you can't use a cookie cutter formula to diagnosis a segment of the population you see as "different" de facto "unnatural". That my friends is a road to no where.

So let's move forward with mutual respect and admiration for one another's gift of choice in the matter. Freedom is a beautiful thing! And I think it's safe to assume that it's okay to pursue a healthy mod lifestyle especially since the last time I checked you do not need a government issued license to enjoy good food or good sex. Meh technicalities. You can't fight Mother Nature.

Honey Badger

2011-11-06T23:29:00.000-05:00

Politics is personal. Sure it's business, but it's an extension of yourself. Little Miss Optimist over here has had a 'coming of age' experience in the past *err* week. Now it's not as if I wasn't aware of my surroundings, I was more ignorant by choice. Cue Honey Badger: That's me y'all...

Well ladies and gentlemen, we are not in Kansas anymore. I'm actually not sure how to write what's to follow without this coming off wrong. So I'm going to let the drinks do all the talking from here. I have always played fair, always waited my turn in line, respected my elders, and been an honest voice in a dishonest world. I have absolutely no regrets, I have made the safe choices my entire life. Some of you may read that and laugh, but trust me I have always been conservative and I am not a risk adverse person. I love a good challenge and finally I have an opportunity to run with it.

I am twenty two years young with no obligations other than rent and student loans. I am unattached, have no commitments, and it's really hard not to smile after typing that - Actually, it's impossible. I'm quite ridiculous actually because every week I come up with a new brilliant plan of attack for what I'm going to do the rest of my life. It's hard to choose, don't judge - just go with it. If I had my way, I'd live forever so I could do everything I ever wanted to do ('cause that's how long I'm going to need). By a miracle chance if I'm a lucky SOB that makes it to 100 I'd still want more. I was telling my friend Joe today, "I'm an instant gratification kind of girl," I hate waiting and I want it all. What can I say I'm a Republican? JK... not really.

People are too apologetic these days. Why they act like their actions surprise them is beyond me. I don't believe them and I can't take them seriously. Every move is absolutely intentional - anyone who tells you differently is lying to you. When's the last time you did something without thinking it through? Touching fire will burn you and saying yes to every 'I love you' you get will leave you a cynic. Be smart people.

Lately I've been accused of being heartless - which only makes me more smug - Thank you for giving me the satisfaction of that lovies. I talk a lot of smack, sure, but I'm the honey badger - I don't care. If being the rational one fills my veins with ice cold blood shhhietttt. Haters gonna hate. The way I see it, people need you in your life a) To love or b) To hate. Either way they need me around and I can't disappoint my public!

I don't play games, my time is money. I fight for what I want until I get it. I don't shy away. I don't mislead. And I absolutely don't tolerate bull shit. I am the honey badger.

Total Irrelevancy & Snark

2011-10-16T20:45:00.001-04:00

What's one thing we are always obsessing about? What's next? Always planning our next move, our next decision - planning for our future. It's so predictably female. I don't know about you, but my boyfriend can attest to many a drawn out fight about arbitrary points in our future that I insist we work out (now of course). I admit this can get ridiculous at points, but there certainly exists an element of truth behind the simple desire to find a solution. Because in searching for a solution I'm acknowledging that there is a problem. Captain Obvious strikes again. Seriously though, how many people do you know that won't even admit when they are on a sinking ship? I may be stubborn, but at least I'm not delusional.

I'm not trying to find the problem. I know why I act the way I do. I'm on a journey to the top. I feel claustrophobic if I'm stationed in any one place for an extended period of time. I can't stand it when people try to control me. In short, I'm predisposed to commitment problems. I may have flaws, but this isn't one of them. What I'm really getting at is the idea behind the responsibility of the individual. We all owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be. The way I see it: if I'm constantly striving for personal betterment, not only am I benefiting from my hard work - so is everyone else. Whether they can be happy enough to admit it or not.

The hardest, hardest (can't stress this enough), HARDEST part of this process is no doubt dealing with the "casualties" along the way. I'm be cheeky of course - there are no actual causalities and no one dies from the grief of not getting their way over your own. I could never quite figure out why people got so mad at me for simple decisions I've made in the past: the university I chose to attend, my choice in men, where I chose to work, my filming expedition, my political orientation, my upbringing, my disregard for unsolicited advice - Sorry, I'm not sorry. For fun-sies let's just be real and call these people "haters". The first and only step on your way to success is to ignore the haters. There is one exception to this rule: if you get an opportunity to piss off said hater - do it. 'Tis hilarious. Fuck them.

As if life isn't challenging enough, now we have to pretend to tolerate passive aggressive bitchiness? Not this girl!

Personally, I find myself obsessing over my career, networking, grad school, and (shocker) my guy. I can't even say for certain where I'll be living or what I'll be doing this time next year. It's really exciting!.... for me. I can't speak for anyone else. It certainly creates a lot of stress for all my long distance relationships. I get it, change is scary. You don't want to "lose" someone close to you, but my goodness we live in the age of globalization! Let go. The farthest they'll be from you at any one point is the distance you are from your laptop or smart phone.

My guy lives 2 time zones away from me. Is it hard? Chea! He's en route to Colorado right now with a good friend from South Carolina to set up shop and live the life he's always dreamed of on the slopes, filming. Does he have everything figured out? Nope. Do I have everything figured out? Nope. Some times the best thing you can do for yourself is in making a bold decision and following through with it. No one can predict the future, but if there's one thing you can learn from Fred: you can't progress without change. No risk, no reward.

Ladies, planning will only get us so far. Bold steps are in order! Find a buddy to keep you on track - it's so easy to marginalize our favorite what's next plans. Don't ignore the simple solution to the problem. Where there's a will, there's a way!

When You Know, You Just Know.

2011-10-03T23:18:00.001-04:00

Don't ignore the tickle in the back of your throat, the stomach knots, and the flash of fear pulsing through your nerve endings. They tell you all you need to know before you spend the your entire night tossing and turning for an answer. There's a science to this - I'm convinced. Science just hasn't been able to explain how yet.

Just humor me for a second - when has that 6th sense ever failed you? It's never failed me. Sometimes I think it does. Sometimes I think I've made the wrong decision, but time always reassures me that it was the right choice in the end. We have a choice in life to be one of two types of people: stuck or free. That sounds really rough, and perhaps there is a less harsh way of describing that, but that's what I widdled it down to. And the hardest part about differentiating between the two is that you can't always. It's insane that even right now in my present state I may not be able to tell the difference between when something is holding me back or when I'm doing it to myself. Listen to your gut.

You know that feeling like you've been punched or you want to throw up by just imagining a scenario? There's a lot that can be said for raw emotion, but even then it's not the same as the flash of fear - like when it comes down to the buzzer. Someone once shared a picture with me of a coin being tossed into the air. The caption read:

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin.

It works not because it settles the question for you,

but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air,

you suddenly know what you are hoping for.

It may seem simplistic but ever since I pictured that in my head that's how I make decisions. Because deep down we know how awful it would be to be stuck with the second best option. To be stuck wondering, "What could have been"? I'd rather be free to make my own mistakes than live out someone else's on my behalf.

All nausea and heart wrenching pain aside - there's no substitute for the adrenaline, the euphoria, of following your instincts and breaking free. No more wishes. You control your own destiny... just like you control the coin toss.

Speak Loud If You Want A Target On Your Back

2011-10-02T20:42:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Loving this city, but wishing there was an easier way to tiptoe around the whole politics conversation. Those who know me might read that and be confused - Yes, I love me some politics, but not after 5:30pm. The main reason for this development as I have so unfortunately found out - I end up with a target on my back. I'm as independent as you can get. I fall 50/50 on the spectrum of issues out there, and it's hard to find people of the same persuasion or cool people that understand politics is subjective to the individual and that there are no real right or wrong sides to an issue.

My bookshelf reads that I am utterly confused on my politics, religion, and philosophy - and maybe I am, maybe I'm just afraid of being wrong, but I'd rather be a skeptic than a self ordained know-it-all (like most of the people I meet on a daily basis). It astounds me this disconnect between confidence and genuine wisdom. When I meet someone who is open to new ideas I want to just give them a hug right there in the middle of the restaurant or bar that I met them at. As I've only been a resident in the District for the past 5 months I know there's a whole new world out in this city I've yet to discover. Until then, I'm going to direct my attention to the specimen I have had the pleasure of observing over the Summer.

As of present I've been exposed to a bread of liberty lovers. The hipster libertarians, the right of center LGBT community, some old gen tea-partiers, social conservative cheerleaders that like to get loose on the weekends, the war crazed neocons, the 'traditionalists', Wall Street republicans, and the guys with a lot of guns that you don't want on their bad side. A lot of good people, a lot bad people too. The thing that gets me the most is how utterly, chaotically disorganized the entire bunch is - I mean ideologically speaking the sum of all the parts do not equal one. The problem with this picture is not that there is fighting within the party - the elephant in the room (pardon the pun) is the disregard for new ideas verses the old.

Instead of a strengthening from within I see the over production of regurgitated ideas passed down like chow for the hungry ankle biters waiting for their chance to move up the ranks. I see this as a supply and demand problem for my generational counterparts. Why do they work 60+ hours a week for shitty pay? Because there happens to be a line around the block of people waiting to do that same job. Why are they dissatisfied with their job? Maybe it's because deep down they know they are cogs, and cogs are a dime a dozen.

It's not that they don't read or develop arguments - they just don't read anything they don't already agree with. No information sharing, no investigative research on the studies their bosses base their policies off of - literally it's a battle ground and unless you want to be typecast as a Benedict Arnold you better fall in line. There is no place for the individual in Washington, D.C. The irony of all ironies. Especially since the Republican party markets itself as the party for individual rights. I know so many smart people that seem perturbed at the slightest mention of me disagreeing with conservative propaganda. Oh shit, there's a G.D.I. in the room! Any time I mention women's rights, pro-peace measures, or free trade agreements I can see the bewilderment in their eyes as they frantically try to determine if I crashed their party by accident or if I'm apart of some elaborate candid camera production.

The typical response I get when asked who my favorite Republican Presidential nominee is, is met with laughter. Why? Because I tell them the ones I like won't make it through the primaries and the ones that will won't beat Obama. "Muwaha ha ha," goes the middle-aged balding man too cool to back up his degrading laughter with an actual rebuttal. And yet, stupid enough to think our lackluster exchanging of words was some sort of a connection. This isn't an episode of Mad Men folks - typically a lady will not swoon over your natural disposition to discount her opinion by offering to buy her a drink. "No thanks on the Miller Lite". (I drink liquor you pussy - try your moves on the Hill interns who think just because you're older you must be important.)

Be it as it may the number one lesson I have learned this Summer is that people are freakin scared out there. They don't take kindly to new ways of doing things, new markets, new technology that phases out familiar technology, and new people. It's kind of scary how divided this city is - because anyone with half a brain realizes that big changes have to be made in order to carry on into a prosperous future. And if you have the nerve to challenge the existing code you end up with a target on your back.

Not to say I hate it - it kind of amuses me now. I can't even get mad at it anymore since I am trying to slowly win the hearts and minds of people out there - just not particularly on a Saturday night when I'm trying to get sloshed. So to all you bright scholars and hard working Millennials out there - keep an open mind to the changing times, don't be so quick to judge new ideas, and for crying out loud don't talk work or politics at clubs on the weekends.

Peace, love, and revolution!

The Single Girl's Manifesto

2011-06-21T00:27:00.002-04:00

It's fantastic to be a woman.We are young, fabulous, and the world is our oyster! But, all too often we feel the sting of being under cultural fire. Every once in a while it's inevitable -"You're such a nice girl why aren't you married?", "Oh are you still seeing that guy, do I hear wedding bells in your future?". We are blessed with the opportunity to choose a career over a man, travel the world instead of toting kids around town, buy designer labels instead of organic baby formula, and yet we are lead to believe (from a surprising majority) that we aren't choosing an ideal life? Not to sound like a man or anything but, why rush into that funeral? I have this one life, the way I see it, I'm gonna have as much fun as humanly possible.

Now I'm from small town America, but I've had my share of experience with larger subcultures across the US and it baffles me at the amount of women that give up their right to own themselves for even just the brief period in their late teens and twenties. You all know who I'm talking about, that girl you knew in high school that got knocked up senior semester or the Summer after graduation, the one we all whispered about and had moments of silence in coffee shops- where we paid homage to her memory - because we all know the birth is all but a 18 year long hibernation of the individual that was the vessel carrying that miracle. Or the ladies who made it to college (and didn't drop out), the ones after their MRS degree in Domestic Economics. The ones who dropped off the face of the planet and we can only distinguish from their unmistakable (and often painful) statuses about how the joys of motherhood and marriage happen to be their greatest accomplishment. [Disclaimer: those are not my own words, took them directly from my Facebook news feed]

Now, I'm not dogging on the young mothers of the world, I think it's very important to have a strong coalition of support in every community for young mothers to help create an atmosphere for growth and prosperity for both mother and child. I am however, calling out those young mothers who advertise the glorious life as a housewife. Stop being so aggressive about defending your situation in life when it's unsolicited, it's quite annoying. No one is interested in seeing the daily developments in your child's growth cycle, or reading about each new diaper rash and doctor's appointment. Are people with kids capable of facebooking about anything else? Somehow we've managed to go from a generation of self obsessed narcissists tweeting about how awesome our afternoon coffee break was, to mothers who tweet about how awesome our baby's boogers are - I'm appalled. As much as it pains me to say this, I miss the time when I could log onto facebook to scoff at the ass hole that who found it necessary to announce it was their nap time. No, now I get the joy of reading about how some people don't deserve to have children because they are "too self centered" and "selfish" - disregard the fact that I find it hilarious how I'm being preach to by accidental teen mothers about being allowed to have children. The real worry here is this notion that they no longer have an identity outside of being mom and wife/baby-momma/fiancée. WTF!? They can't want any longer? I think Betty Friedan is rolling over in her grave.

There is a faux romanticism surrounding this idea of marital bliss and childrearing that is super alarming in our teen girl culture these days. Close your legs or buy a pack of condoms you silly girls, because you can't carry around a baby carriage and think it's a fashion statement. Playing dress up with a real baby is so much different than playing dress up with your American Girl Doll. The best example you can set for your little sisters, friends, sons, and daughters is that respecting yourself above all else will give you the confidence to carry out your life goals and allow you to feel truly satisfied with life without compromising and giving up your identity. That means, finding a good balance between providing care for your kids and taking care of yourself.

I think it's important that we remember the simple fact that we are not defined by who we sleep with, repeat that again with me. We are the make up of our desires, our thoughts, and actions, but we are not defined by anyone else. Our professional achievements speak just as loud about our contributions to society as our biological achievements do, and even more about our self control.

This one's goes out to a special breed of women: The independent ladies that are winning in the professional arenas of their industry, dominating the market place, driving consumer development into new technologies, changing politics in their communities and the global scene, and all the women that pay their own bills, buy their own clothes, and rock the power suit one day and Lily Pulitzer with pearls the next.

Cheers to those biannual 'reinventions', the all nighters that end with the start of a 9 hour work day, top shelf liquor, exclusive events, jet setting across the globe, and a ready supply of Alka-Seltzer and Adderall! Your twenties are for making memories, mistakes, and money. Get to it!

Take Back What's Yours!

2011-04-03T12:03:00.000-04:00

I don't understand why a risk taker would frighten other people. I see so many fabulous people around me rising to the occasion of the moment. They move on beat with the times around them and don't hesitate to react! You have to live the life you love! Fear is such a sad place you can't allow yourself to go. Don't say you "can't" right now because of X, Y, or Z reasons - because you are manifesting in the doubt and making it your reality. Once I realized my own fears were holding me back from the life I wanted I just started saying "Yes!"... and wouldn't you know it, good things started happening. Life is so much fun, I wish more people would join in on it!

If you really cared about being happy, you'd make it happen. Don't wallow around and talk all about the "what ifs" because there isn't a fail proof way in taking a risk, so putting it off in preparation won't guarantee a thing other than lost time. You control your destiny. Say what you want then go after it as if it's already yours. You don't have to know how you will accomplish it, just that you won't stop until you have. It doesn't matter how outrageous and it doesn't matter how many people tell you that you can't do it. Risk takers frighten other people, because they are too concerned with the question of 'how' and not 'why'.

I'm bombarded with the same theme in my life right now- the power of positive thinking, making your own reality, inner happiness as a source of unlimited power, etc. It is following me every where I go, and I'm welcoming it with a full embrace! I'm so happy and I have this feeling of infatuation and it's with myself and not because of anyone else. You want a feeling that will blow your mind- imagine having your heart on fire for life the way your heart burns for that person you love. I find it easier to make decisions now because of the clarity brought by this elated state. This is the purest form of selfishness, and it's not a bad thing! I'm a better friend, neighbor, worker, and human because of it. Guilt use to control my life, until I realized the people that would have me feel guilty for my happiness are not people I want to let in anymore. People who love you want you to be happy. Someone held back in a relationship by guilt to make another person happy isn't helping the situation - if one is unhappy the other will not be happy either because there's a void. When you are happy, you can give back. Want to make the world a better place? Be happy, do what you're good at, and everything will fall into order - don't hesitate by asking how, react because you know why. This is your life, it's time to take back what belongs to you.

Reflections from Europe, Filming & Growing Up (Over the past 7 weeks)

2011-01-19T05:20:00.004-05:00

I write this note from a den in Paris with the most spectacular view of the Eiffel Tower from my balcony's glass doors. It's surreal that I am sitting here, within reach of such a famous landmark- and to top it off I get to spend it with Fred. While the glamour of this type of travel may pop into your minds first (as it did for me) please do not misinterpret my writings as boastful because I can assure you they are more for personal morale than for a meaningless declaration! At week 7 of traveling every other second or third day it becomes a personal accomplishment to actually make it to another city or country. I have survived cross continent train rides, sketchy cab drivers, ferries, taxi boats, gondalas, crowded metros, intercity buses, ice, snow, mountains, oceans, rivers, lakes, and canals (to name a few) -All while carrying 40 lbs of bags and equipment.

I assure you, even Paris can lose it's appeal when you are sweating in an underground metro and you feel like you would die of thirst unless your back snapped from the weight first. It takes strong people to travel like this, I have a new level of respect for anyone I meet that is traveling by backpack as well!

The highs of this trip were equally matched by the lows but don't let that distract you from the ultimate good that will come from this project. I've recognized a strength in myself I never knew I had... explicitly. Each interview, each new host family I stayed with, and each new culture I encountered I grew wiser in the law of the land. My world has expanded by 10 fold, and ironically it's become more concentrated. I've been traveling with the intention of discovering other people's passion in life and in the process I discovered my own. And no- it's not film.

I brought 3 books with me for this journey: Atlas Shrugged by Any Rand, Hamilton's Curse by Thomas Dilorenzo, and The Law by Frederic Bastiat. I don't know why I felt compelled to bring them along because I didn't have the space for them. It was completely irrational of me to bring books with me that I had owned for over 2 years and have never begun reading. Never-the-less they came with- and to my surprise they became my most treasured items I carried for 2 months. They will have more influence over the final film than any other person could. My interview questions changed to themes and questions brought up in each resective book; my thirst for knowledge cannot be matched by any other period in my life to date.

This documentary was my passionate undertaking and it hasn't changed, only grown stronger. I had my weak moments. It's easy to lose the fight when you find yourself forgetting which city you are waking up in every morning, battling weather your body has never experienced, eating food that seems pale in comparison to the comfort of the food back home, forgetting what privacy feels like, and reminiscing about the past with your family and friends on lonely evenings surrounded by strangers.

It seemed strange that I would cope with my home sickness through literature, but then again everybody has an outlet. If I felt the strong sting of depression I would just pull out my book and BAM I would be delivered a helpful dose of inspiration! It only got bad during the holidays - which is to be expected I guess in retrospect... that's one thing you cannot prepare for, no matter how meticulous your daily itinerary may be. Yet, here I am with one week left of filming and I can say happily that I wouldn't have had it any other way.

The interesting part about this progress, for Fred and me, was that in the lowest points we didn't just turn towards a mere comfort, but to the core of what our passion for living was! Fred in his intrinsic love for film and editing, and myself in the acquisition of political philosophy. I keep fighting my urges to be in politics, I tell myself that I can separate myself from it, but the way I see it now is that it is as much a part of me as my personality and in that manner it can not be extracted from my person.

Uncertainty has been a major theme in my life the past 6 months and it shows no signs of changing in the immediate future. Yet, it's comforting to know that no matter what the future holds in store for me professionally, financially, and geographically at least I know my purpose . I will use my time to fight for an idea bigger than myself, in order to secure a truly free society for the inhabitants of the world to follow me. What greater legacy should one hope to transfer into the next generation? Whether through film, print, social media and the like - I will see to it that truth and reason are brought to life and corruption and deception are exposed wherever it seeks to hide.

It is the case that I strongly believe my peers at home and abroad regard knowledge as power and they are more open to the processes of the world around them than they are given credit for. There is a army of silent activists out there who want answers to questions that are considered taboo by officials of governing bodies world wide - woe is the day the former realize what the latter already know in the threat they pose to the status-quo!

Consider this the best preview (to date) of what our documentary will represent.

What I'm Thankful for This Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T22:10:00.002-05:00

Totally blown away with where I find myself today. Eight days away from my flight to London to begin filming a documentary I dreamed up, with my best friend, Fred Vaillant! I'd be lying to you if I tried to hold in this overwhelming emotion of euphoria I'm experiencing right now.

The route I took was not easy by any means. My mother spoke wise words by telling me in my fits of rage and failure that, "If it was easy everyone would do it". I had amazing encouragement from people all over the globe who praised my ideas for this documentary but none compare to the specific words from a few of my most beloved friends.

Freddy, my partner in crime, I would have quit months ago if not for you. Your sacrifice and struggles in dealing with the problems that came along with this film far exceeded even my own. You deserve a medal. It's been almost unbearable at times, but you were reason enough to endure and keep fighting. This is our moment, I am so the lucky one.

My best gal pal, Evangeline Leihy, has stood by my side through all of the ups and downs this fall. Whether it was over the phone, baking experimental cookies, or closing down bars she has listened to every worry and aspiration I had for this film. I can't even put a price on that kind of loyalty and devotion. She has been an irreplaceable ally and complete inspiration to me over the past months - I love you Shug!

A dear friend and colleague, Austin Schwartz, has been just as big of help with the actual film as he has been with my personal struggles in grasping the scope of what this film means for me specifically. One evening not long ago I was incredibly frustrated with the film's progress and out of no where he sent me a message telling me how he knew this film would be a success "...because whether you realize it or not, this film is about you Sarah". Simple words that I never pieced together for myself. Simple enough to change my perspective on what success for this film meant for me, personally.

I can't end this thank you rant without thanking several people for their specific interest in this documentary. If you are listed below, please know that without our hours of correspondence on the subject matter that make up this film the final quality would have suffered. Thank you so much Cassy Loseke, Nicole Norton, Nick Elliott, Crystal Boyd, and Hannah Floyd - I haven't forgotten!

Approximately a week from now I will actually be in an airplane over the Atlantic Ocean, it's really happening! Without all of your help, that may or may not have been the case. Obviously, there is a list of a hundred people I could thank - this is just my personal thank you for the ones who have touched me in a way that I could never repay for the emotional pulled they brought to my life while developing an idea that will find it's way to screen some day.

I am blessed to have you all in my life!

Villains

2010-10-27T01:46:00.000-04:00

We are first introduced to the "villain" role as a child through movies or cartoons. These villains were so far removed from the protagonists life that they could be easily separated and labeled as an outside force whose sole purpose was devoted to making the life of others worse off.

As all lessons we learn as children, the one we learn about villains we may encounter in life is skewed. In fact, most of the people we label as "villains" in our lives are entangled in our every day activities. Often times our villain is our coworker, our boss, a family member, and some times a good friend. And these villains in our life, they don't thrive off the misfortune of us, they don't spend their nights plotting against us (although we might perceive it that way at times).

The part that makes me wonder is the development of the persona of the villain role. For example: when close friends become enemies in a matter of years; suddenly you feel the wrath of a long, drawn out break up from a friend. (It is my personal opinion that when friendships break up its worse than when you break up with a beau.) It's then easy to cope with the split by labeling the other as a villain. Dirt is slung around, gossip is spread, but it's not until you hear rumor from the other accusing you of being their villain until you really get fired up! After all, how can your villain think you are their villain?- the thought will make you laugh, scoff, and turn red with anger.

I turn to the road runner and the coyote for further analysis: Obviously the coyote is the villain. Coyote spends his time and money buying new acme gadgets and plotting to, well, kill the road runner. Why? Is it as simple as a prejudice or a hate crime OR did the road runner do something so horrendous that the coyote needed revenge? And if so is it possible that the coyote feels like the victim, like the road runner is his villain?

Obviously this is an extreme case, if this were real life the coyote would be some deranged psychopath and this story would be more fitting for a Law & Order episode not a Saturday morning cartoon marathon. The point is how scary perception can be when it comes to personal vendettas.

Maybe we should all step back from our preconceived notions of the villains at work in our lives and reevaluate the plausibility of the hate that actually exists. I've been accused of this before and it baffles me why anyone could think I would be working against them. Reality is subject to change, our imaginations can take over the best of us, don't let it.

The History of Apathy & Ignorance

2010-10-25T01:42:00.000-04:00

I have been mulling over this latest post for a few days now, because I didn't know if I could fashion my thoughts together to form a coherent discussion regarding my personal story of apathy and ignorance. Alas, I will do my best!

A few nights ago I had dinner with a dear friend of mine. During the course of the meal we gabbed on about everything from the latest gossip to plans for the holidays. Some where in the middle, between ex-boyfriends and Paris we talked about the development of our opinions and philosophies. Both of us were raised in South Carolina, both had parent's who moved here from the North, and both were brought up in a conservative, protestant home.

My friend has been studying courses in psychology, nutrition and sociology- always interested in human development. This semester and the last, she has taken some classes on feminism and women studies. I don't know if it was a fluke in her schedule or the alternative classes were full, but she admitted in a drab tone that she initially rolled her eyes at the idea of taking the classes. However, the past few months have yielded a new appreciation in my friend's mind; let's just say it was a change from her previous prejudices.

We both spoke heatedly about inequalities for women, the expected roles society places on us, the double standard when it comes to women who choice to run in politics, sexually based crimes on humanity, and the sexism that is rampant across the world still- the works.

She brought up a point that resonated with me. The indoctrination by men to their daughters and wives to stick up for the male species because they are under attack. She added:

I've always stuck up for the boys! All my life I was raised to defend them, to defend my father. I didn't realize that my dad was coaching me along. I didn't realize that he was indoctrinating me. It's a tradition past down from generation to generation to keep the order. Because yes women can have a job, but we are still expected to keep up with our house work and that's so difficult that most women end up quitting their jobs to stay at home because to do both means you don't have time to enjoy life.

Even now, I told her, I think back to days when I engaged in political debates regarding affirmative action. I was the biggest cheerleader for the middle aged white male- to which I now look back at in ghastly embarrassment. Who are we kidding really, I'm suppose to believe that white males are the victims here? I know one thing, they sure are over compensating due to the power grab from others outside of their demographic group. Sorry, but I don't buy into the whole 'the sky is falling' ideology just because women and people of color can now get a white mans job.

Somewhere along the line I began questioning the ideas I held onto with such fervor in my youth. From this one instance it made me wonder when that started happening. I'm sure it began around high school, but it doesn't feel like it made a substantial change in my life until very recently (within the year).

Indoctrination and fear are so present in all of our lives that it's hard to realize when you've been infected. I guess that's the real scary part of the whole process. People try to infiltrate your mind on a daily basis, it's called media and marketing- everyone is a target and everyone is susceptible. The trick is to stay alert and not fall prey to ignorance of the system; Even worse, to be apathetic to the process.

Apathy is a choice to let someone else decide your future. Your past is history, what would you like to do about it now?