Kallah Magazine blog by Ariella Brown

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop using AI this way!

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 20:12:00 +0000

I've posted about generative AI many times on my other blogs (UncommonContent and WriteWayPro), though very rarely here. I was frustrated myself when trying to get Google Gemini to make me a picture when it kept the figure with only one leg despite my telling it 4 times to give the person two. And this is the tech that people idolize today!

That's not something I would even bother to write about after my other frustrations with generative AI. But then I came across this in my X feed. It is so bad that I just had to make say something about it here.

It not just that the people in it have totally dead eyes. It not just that they not really look like what the Hasmonean probably looked like. It's that they couldn't even get the number of branches on the menorah right! The menorah in the Bais Hamikdash had 7. This has 13! Each side has 5, plus there are 3 in the center. While that could be an artistic kind of candelabra design, it is nowhere near any type of menorah or even modern Chanukia. And such terribly off imagery tells me that you didn't even bother to check and correct such a blatant mistake. Even though the caption is correct, such a slapdash approach undermines your message.

So please stop doing this!

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Ancient aging

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 14:18:00 +0000

Do you know what's wrong with this depiction of Avraham Avinu?

If you pay attention to the ages of the people recounted in Bereishis, they started out living to ages approaching 1000 years, then went down to around half that and then got shorter. At what point do you think these people who lived for multiple centuries started to look old? According to the Midrash, they never did.

Bereshit Rabbah 65

אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוּדָה בַּר סִימוֹן אַבְרָהָם תָּבַע זִקְנָה, אָמַר לְפָנָיו רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים אָדָם וּבְנוֹ נִכְנָסִין לְמָקוֹם וְאֵין אָדָם יוֹדֵעַ לְמִי מְכַבֵּד, מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁאַתָּה מְעַטְּרוֹ בְּזִקְנָה אָדָם יוֹדֵעַ לְמִי מְכַבֵּד. אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא חַיֶּיךָ דָּבָר טוֹב תָּבַעְתָּ וּמִמְּךָ הוּא מַתְחִיל. מִתְּחִלַּת הַסֵּפֶר וְעַד כָּאן אֵין כְּתִיב זִקְנָה, וְכֵיוָן שֶׁעָמַד אַבְרָהָם נָתַן לוֹ זִקְנָה, (בראשית כד, א): וְאַבְרָהָם זָקֵן בָּא בַּיָּמִים.

Rabbi Yehuda bar Simon said: Abraham demanded aging. He said before Him: ‘Master of the universe, a man and his son enter a place, and no one knows which of them to honor. Because you adorn him with aging, a person knows whom to honor.’ The Holy One blessed be He said to him: ‘As you live, you have demanded a good thing, and it will begin with you.’ From the beginning of the book until that point, aging is not written. When Abraham stood, He granted him aging – “Abraham was old” (Genesis 24:1).

That means Avraham only asked for this after Yitzchak was born. Consequently, all the depictions of Avraham as an old man (to match how someone 75+ would look today) to illustrate Parshas Lech Lecha are off. He would only have shown such signs of age after he was 100, and more likely after he was 120 or more.

(One wonders if a woman would have asked for this given how many billions the "anti-aging" industry of cosmetics, dyes, and plastic surgery is worth.)

Number the Stars

Lech Lecah: a different type of nisayon

Love on a shoestring

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The source of light in the ark

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 21:58:00 +0000

"Let there be light."

Even people who know practically no other Biblical verses are familiar with the fiat lux, the first utterance of creation that brought light into existence on the first day.

What we consider our sources of light -- the sun, other stars, and the moon that reflects the sun's light were only created on the fourth day. Clearly, the daylight of the earlier days were not based on the earth's rotation around the sun but on the primordial light that existed independently of celestial bodies.

This light may have continued to shine even after the sun and stars were set into place for that first week of creation, though man could not endure the strength of it after sinning. Hashem so-to-speak packed it away for tzadikim in the future.

Nonetheless, the concept of that light that exists independently of sources of illumination like our sun and the stars is one that is carried on through our conception of the universe.

Precious stone or glass?

That comes into play in the debate about what the tzohar -- an instance of hapax legomenon (a word that appears only a single time in the Bible)-- in the teva was (Bereishis 6:14) Rashi doesn't tell us conclusively but cites a disagreement in Bereishis Rabba 33

צֹהַר תַּעֲשֶׂה לַתֵּבָה (בראשית ו, טז), רַבִּי חוּנְיָה וְרַבִּי פִּינְחָס רַבִּי חָנִין וְרַבִּי הוֹשַׁעְיָא לָא מְפָרְשִׁין, רַבִּי אַבָּא בַּר כַּהֲנָא וְרַבִּי לֵוִי מְפָרְשִׁין. רַבִּי אַבָּא בַּר כַּהֲנָא אָמַר, חַלּוֹן. רַבִּי לֵוִי אָמַר, מַרְגָּלִיּוֹת. רַבִּי פִּינְחָס מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי לֵוִי אָמַר כָּל שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ שֶׁהָיָה נֹחַ בַּתֵּבָה, לֹא צָרִיךְ לֹא לְאוֹר הַחַמָּה בַּיּוֹם וְלֹא לְאוֹר הַלְּבָנָה בַּלַּיְלָה, אֶלָּא מַרְגָּלִית הָיְתָה לוֹ וְהָיָה תּוֹלֶה אוֹתָהּ, וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁהִיא כֵּהָה הָיָה יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁהוּא יוֹם, וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁהָיְתָה מַבְהֶקֶת הָיָה יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁהוּא לַיְלָה

Rabbi Abba bar Kahana said: It was a window. Rabbi Levi said: It was a luminous precious stone. According to the latter opinion, the luminous stone didn't offer the same intensity of light for 24 hours but dimmed in the night and shined more brightly at night -- in much the same manner that we use electric lights to augment sunlight.

What Rabbi Levi describes is what scientists describe as persistent luminescence, also referred to as persistent phosphorescence. We know it as glow-in-the-dark. In more scientific terms, it is defined as emission obtained after the removal of an excitation source. As Rabbi Levi, described, the light grows s "after the removal of the light source" AKA in the night when there is no longer sunlight acting as the excitation source. Then it can continue glowing for hours -- throughout the night.

Closed or open?

I remember R' Copperman z"l observing that this isn't just an argument about the structure of the ark but about the universe itself. As the ark was designed -- like the mishkan that would follow -- as a microcosm of the universe, an understanding of how the light operated reflects different views. Is the universe a closed or open system?

What fascinating, though, is that the take on the luminous stone also supposes that sunlight was coming through. If that were not the case, it wouldn't make sense for it to grow dimmer during the day. You only can dim your lights if your windows let in sunlight. So perhaps there is a kind of complementary systems at work with a universe that contain its own luminous sun but that also can take in external light through some form of window that communicates with what is beyond our physical boundaries.

Definitely closed per Rav Yochanan

Sanhedrin 108B:

״צֹהַר תַּעֲשֶׂה לַתֵּבָה״ – אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְנֹחַ, קְבַע בָּהּ אֲבָנִים טוֹבוֹת וּמַרְגָּלִיּוֹת, כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ מְאִירוֹת לָכֶם כַּצׇּהֳרַיִם.

With regard to the verse: “A tzohar you shall make for the ark” Rabbi Yoḥanan says that the Holy One, Blessed be He, said to Noah: Set precious stones and jewels in the ark so that they will shine for you as the noonday [tzohorayim] sun.

R' Yochanan then adopts the opinion of the tzohar = lumninous jewel. But in contrast to the way Rabbi Levi describes the stone as getting dimmer during daylight, he describes them as shining like the noonday sun. The Torah Temima says that this means that it was a closed system. There was no window to allow in light or a view to the outside because Noach was not allowed to see what was going on outside the teva.

The Torah Temima says that this is related to the prohibition for Lot and his family to look back at the destruction of Sdom when they were saved because their merit was not great enough for that. He points out that R' Yochanan is consistent with his interpretation of Noach's status.

Parshas Noach introduces Noach with these words: אֵ֚לֶּה תּֽוֹלְדֹ֣ת נֹ֔חַ נֹ֗חַ אִ֥ישׁ צַדִּ֛יק תָּמִ֥ים הָיָ֖ה בְּדֹֽרֹתָ֑יו The following are the descendants of Noah. Noah was a perfectly righteous man in his generation.

Rashi references Sanhedrin 108A בְּדֹֽרֹתָיו. יֵשׁ מֵרַבּוֹתֵינוּ דּוֹרְשִׁים אוֹתוֹ לְשֶׁבַח, כָּל שֶׁכֵּן אִלּוּ הָיָה בְדוֹר צַדִּיקִים הָיָה צַדִּיק יוֹתֵר; וְיֵשׁ שֶׁדּוֹרְשִׁים אוֹתוֹ לִגְנַאי, לְפִי דוֹרוֹ הָיָה צַדִּיק וְאִלּוּ הָיָה בְדוֹרוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם לֹא הָיָה נֶחְשָׁב לִכְלוּם in saying that the stress on "in his generation" some rabbis interpret positively -- he would have been even greater if he were surrounded by other righteous people. Other interpret it or negatively -- he was only a relatively righteous man in his own generation, though compared to Avraham, he would have been of no account.

Though Rashi doesn't name the rabbis, the Gemara does: אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: ״בְּדוֹרוֹתָיו״, וְלֹא בְּדוֹרוֹת אֲחֵרִים. וְרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ אָמַר: ״בְּדוֹרוֹתָיו״, כׇּל שֶׁכֵּן בְּדוֹרוֹת אֲחֵרִים. Rabbi Yochanan says: Relative to the other people of his generation he was righteous and wholehearted, but not relative to those of other generations. And Reish Lakish says: In his generation he was righteous and wholehearted despite being surrounded by bad influences; all the more so would he have been considered righteous and wholehearted in other generations.

The Torah Temima shows that R' Yochanan is consistent. As he considered Noach's tzidkus to fall short, he also would see that he would have to be cut off from seeing the destruction of the mabul. That's the philosophical point. Being a practical person, though, the Torah Temima also points out that a single window would not suffice to illuminate a whole ark with three levels in any case. That's why it makes sense to him that there were multiple luminous gems installed to generate the amount of light required.

Or it's possible that there was a way the light was extended through the different decks with a device ships have used.

Perhaps a prism

I was thinking about the light source of the ark since my visit this summer to the Maritime Museum at Battleship Cove because of this deck prism made me think of the tzohar. While the prism is not luminous itself, it does refract light to effectively illuminate a wooden ship without exposing it to the danger of open fires.

Deck prism exhibited in the Maritime Museum at Battleship Cove

The museum's description is as follows:

In the days before electricity, light below a vessel's deck was provided by candles, oil and kerosene lamps, all dangerous aboard a wooden ship.

A clever solution for the lighting problem was the deck prism.

Laid flush into the deck, small conical prisms drew light down below decks, without weakening the deck planks.

This deck prism is an exact reproduction of Mystic Seaport's remaining original CHARLES W. MORGAN deck prism.

I wanted to shed some Torah light today in particular in honor of my mother's yahrzeit on 28 Tishrei.. My husband already made 2 siyumim and a kiddush for the occasion. The neshama of Schulamith bas R' Dov Yehuda should have an aliya. Perhaps the notion of a connection between our existence and the more spiritual plane also can attest to our deeds below having an impact on those who no longer operate under the sun. It's something to think about when we kindle the yahrzeit candles.

insights -parshas-noach

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The teshuva tunnel

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 20:41:00 +0000

Kohelet Rabbah 7:15

אֶת הַכֹּל רָאִיתִי בִּימֵי הֶבְלִי. שָׁאֲלוּ אֶת שְׁמוּאֵל הַקָּטָן מַהוּ דִּכְתִיב: יֵשׁ צַדִּיק אֹבֵד בְּצִדְקוֹ, אָמַר לָהֶם גָּלוּי וְיָדוּעַ לִפְנֵי מִי שֶׁאָמַר וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהַצַּדִּיק עָתִיד לָבוֹא לִידֵי מָיֵיט, אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עַד שֶׁהוּא בְּצִדְקוֹ אֲסַלְּקֶנּוּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: יֵשׁ צַדִּיק אֹבֵד בְּצִדְקוֹ. וְיֵשׁ רָשָׁע מַאֲרִיךְ בְּרָעָתוֹ, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁאָדָם חַי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מְצַפֶּה לוֹ לִתְשׁוּבָה, מֵת אָבְדָה תִקְוָתוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי יא, ז): בְּמוֹת אָדָם רָשָׁע תֹּאבַד תִּקְוָה. לְכַת אַחַת לִסְטִין שֶׁהָיְתָה חֲבוּשָׁה בְּבֵית הָאֲסוּרִין, חָתַר אֶחָד מֵהֶם חֲתִירָה אַחַת וּבָרְחוּ כֻּלָּן, נִשְׁתַּיֵּר שָׁם אֶחָד מֵהֶן וְלֹא בָרַח, כֵּיוָן שֶׁבָּא הַשִּׁלְטוֹן, הִתְחִיל לְחָבְטוֹ בְּמַקֵּל, אֲמַר לֵיהּ בִּישׁ גַּדָּא וּטְמִיעַ מַזְלָא, חֲתִירְתָּא קוֹמָךְ לָא הֲוֵית עָרֵיק. כָּךְ לֶעָתִיד לָבוֹא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אוֹמֵר לָרְשָׁעִים, הַתְּשׁוּבָה לִפְנֵיכֶם וְלֹא שַׁבְתֶּם, אֶלָּא (איוב יא, כ): וְעֵינֵי רְשָׁעִים תִּכְלֶינָה.

I have seen everything in the days of my vanity; there is a righteous person who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked person who endures in his wickedness” (Ecclesiastes 7:15).
“I have seen everything in the days of my vanity.” They asked Shmuel HaKatan, what is the meaning of what is written: “There is a righteous person who perishes in his righteousness”? He said to them: ‘It is revealed and known before the One Who spoke and the world came into being that this righteous person is destined to be corrupted. The Holy One blessed be He says: I will remove him [from the world] while he is still in his state of righteousness, as it is stated: “There is a righteous person who perishes in his righteousness.”’
“And there is a wicked person who endures in his wickedness.” As long as a person is alive, the Holy One blessed be He anticipates his repentance; once he dies the hope for his [repentance] is lost, as it is stated: “When a wicked person dies, hope is lost” (Proverbs 11:7). It's like a group of robbers who were incarcerated in prison. One of them dug a tunnel and they all fled. One of them remained there and did not flee. When the jailer came, he began striking him with a stick. He said to him: ‘Luckless and unfortunate one, you had a tunnel before you and you did not flee?’ So too, in the future, the Holy One blessed be He will say to the wicked: ‘You had [the opportunity for] repentance before you, and you did not repent?’ Consequently, “the eyes of the wicked will fail” (Job 11:20).

So what is going on here? Why is the person who didn't break out of jail punished? This is a question I've heard in a shiur in the past. Honestly, I don't recall the answer given then, though I believe it was that the prisoner who fails to take the escape fails to grasp the enormity of the sentence he faces for his crime. However, I'd suggest a different direction based on another reference to a tunnel in connection to the teshuva of Menashe related in Sanhedrin 10a:

אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַי: מַאי דִּכְתִיב ״וַיִּשְׁמַע אֵלָיו וַיֵּחָתֶר לוֹ״? ״וַיֵּעָתֶר לוֹ״ מִיבְּעֵי לֵיהּ! מְלַמֵּד שֶׁעָשָׂה לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ

בָּרוּךְ הוּא כְּמִין מַחְתֶּרֶת בָּרָקִיעַ, כְּדֵי לְקַבְּלוֹ בִּתְשׁוּבָה, מִפְּנֵי מִדַּת הַדִּין.

Rabbi Yoḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: What is the meaning of “And he prayed to Him; and He made an opening for him” (II Chronicles 33:13)? Should it not have said, "And He received his entreaty"? Rather, this teaches that the Holy One, Blessed be He, crafted for him a type of opening in Heaven in order to accept his repentance to avert the barrier of the attribute of justice.

Hashem had to make a special tunnel opening to allow Menashe's expression of teshuva to reach Him -- so to speak through a back way because the gates of justice would not have let him through. Menashe was one of the most idolatrous and wicked kings in history. He even ordered the death of the Navia Yeshayahu, his maternal grandfather.

The question is: why did Menashe even make the effort, knowing how much he had sinned in his life? He received a tradition from his father. That was the righteous King Chizkiyahu who saw that he was destined to have an exceedingly wicked son and sought to avert that fate by not getting married. He was punished with a deathly illness, and Yeshayahu came to tell him that he had erred to such an extent that he was to die in this world and lose the next. Chizkiyahu's response was to suggest that the Navi give him his daughter to marry in the hope that the merit of such a grandfather would benefit his offspring.

As relayed in Berachos 10a, Yeshayahu's initial response was that it was pointless now because the decree was set. כְּבָר נִגְזְרָה עָלֶיךָ גְּזֵירָה

But Chizkiyahu refused to accept that.

. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: בֶּן אָמוֹץ, כַּלֵּה נְבוּאָתְךָ וָצֵא!

כָּךְ מְקּוּבְּלַנִי מִבֵּית אֲבִי אַבָּא, אֲפִילּוּ חֶרֶב חַדָּה מוּנַּחַת עַל צַוָּארוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם, אַל יִמְנַע עַצְמוֹ מִן הָרַחֲמִים.

Chizkiyahu said to him: "Son of Amoz, cease your prophecy and leave. I have received a tradition from the house of my father’s father, [King David] Even if a sharp sword rests upon a person’s neck, he should not prevent himself from [praying for] mercy."

It worked for Chikakiyahu who miraculously recovered from his illness gained another 15 years of life. It also worked for Menashe who was saved from what appeared to be certain death after being captured by enemies. What the Midrash on Kohelet teaches us is that it is not just for the kings and their descendants but for all of us.

I would hazard to say that the wording כָּךְ מְקּוּבְּלַנִי מִבֵּית אֲבִי אַבָּא gives us license to say that the tradition is not just about what Chizkiyahu's grandfather established but the universalized perspective of being part of בֵּית אֲבִי אַבָּא - the household of our father and father's Father. The King who passes judgement is also our Father who wants to find a way to circumvent strict justice and grant clemency to His children.

That is the gift of Yom Kippur to us a tunnel in time that bypasses strict din to grant us the direct access to our Divine Father. This is a time of year of peak closeness between the Creator and his children without obstacles to bar our way to to teshuva.

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2019/10/at-fork-in-road.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2015/09/scaling-mountain-thoughts-on-yom-kippur.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2014/09/transfigured-by-love-tshuva-mahava.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2015/09/new-beginnings-and-yom-hazikaron.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-sweet-new-beginning.html
http://divreichaim.blogspot.com/2010/09/sarahs-laughter-and-tshuvah.html?spref=bl
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2018/12/sins-sinners-and-mistranslation.html

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How the Unassuming Hero Saves the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 16:23:00 +0000

Photo by Katya Wolf: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-boy-wearing-a-mask-and-a-cape-9428947/

People love hero stories that typically feature someone swooping in and rescuing people in a dire situation. Those are the stories that make headlines and that are celebrated in viral videos and posts.

What you don't see in headlines and likely don't even get to notice much are the unassuming people whose heroic acts occur behind the scenes. They're the ones who see that a train wreck is inevitable if no one fixes the track and then quietly fix the track. They don't publicly pat themselves on the back for what they've done. And usually no one even knows about their role in preventing a terrible accident. And so these people remain anonymous and uncelebrated.

In at least one instance, though, the Gemara gives such a person credit in Horayot 13b. The major players that everyone saw on the stage, so to speak, were the Nasi, Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel; the Chacham, Rabbi Meir; and the deputy Nasi, Rabbi Natan. The name of the unassuming hero in this episode is Rabbi Ya’akov ben Korshei.

What happened was that R' Shimon was not happy that the public shows of respect people would demonstrate in rising up upon entry in the study hall for him were not distinguished from those of R' Meir and R' Natan. On a day when they were not present, he resolved that they should only stand up for him. When R' Meir and R' Natan came the next time, no one stood up for them. When they asked about that, they were told that is what R' Shimon instituted. R' Meir found this unacceptable and devised a plan:

אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַבִּי מֵאִיר לְרַבִּי נָתָן: אֲנָא חָכָם וְאַתְּ אַב בֵּית דִּין, נְתַקֵּין מִילְּתָא כִּי לְדִידַן. מַאי נַעֲבֵיד לֵיהּ? נֵימָא לֵיהּ: גַּלִּי עוּקְצִים, דְּלֵית לֵיהּ. וְכֵיוָן דְּלָא גְּמִר, נֵימָא לֵיהּ: ״מִי יְמַלֵּל גְּבוּרוֹת ה׳ יַשְׁמִיעַ כׇּל תְּהִלָּתוֹ״, לְמִי נָאֶה לְמַלֵּל גְּבוּרוֹת ה׳ – מִי שֶׁיָּכוֹל לְהַשְׁמִיעַ כׇּל תְּהִלּוֹתָיו. נְעַבְּרֵיהּ, וְהָוֵי אֲנָא אַב בֵּית דִּין וְאַתְּ נָשִׂיא.

Rabbi Meir said to Rabbi Natan: "I am the Chacham, and you are the deputy Nasi. Let us devise a matter and do to him as he did to us. What shall we do to him? Let us say, 'Reveal to us tractate Okatzim, 'which he does not know. And once it is clear to all that he did not learn, he will not have anything to say. Then we will say to him: 'Who can express the mighty acts of the Lord, shall make all His praises heard?' (Psalms 106:2), indicating: For whom is it becoming to express the mighty acts of the Lord? It is becoming for one who is capable of making all His praises heard, and not for one who does not know one of the tractates. We will remove him from his position as Nasi, and I will be deputy Nasi and you will be Nasi."

שַׁמְעִינְהוּ רַבִּי יַעֲקֹב בֶּן קֻדְשַׁי, אֲמַר: דִּלְמָא חַס וְשָׁלוֹם אָתְיָא מִלְּתָא לִידֵי כִּיסּוּפָא, אֲזַל

יְתֵיב אֲחוֹרֵי עִילִּיתֵיהּ דְּרַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל, פְּשַׁט, גְּרַס וּתְנָא, גְּרַס וּתְנָא.

Rabbi Yaa'kov be Korshei heard them and said to himself: "Perhaps, Heaven forfend, this will cause humiliation." He then went and sat behind the upper floor of R' Shimon ben Gamliel's home and studied that that tractate out loud and then repeated it.

אָמַר: מַאי דְּקַמָּא? דִּלְמָא חַס וְשָׁלוֹם אִיכָּא בֵּי מִדְרְשָׁא מִידֵּי, יְהַב דַּעְתֵּיהּ וְגַרְסַהּ. לִמְחַר אֲמַרוּ לֵיהּ: נֵיתֵי מָר וְנִיתְנֵי בְּעוּקְצִין, פְּתַח וַאֲמַר. בָּתַר דְּאוֹקֵים, אֲמַר לְהוּ: אִי לָא גְּמִירְנָא, כַּסֵּיפְיתֻּנַן.

Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said to himself: "What is this happening here? Perhaps, Heaven forfend, there is something going on in the study hall." He concentrated and studied tractate Okatzin. The following day Rabbi Meir and Rabbi Natan said to him: "Let the Master teach a lesson in tractate Okatzin." He began to expound on the lesson he had prepared. After he completed teaching the tractate, he said to them: "If I had not studied the tractate, you would have humiliated me."

------------------------------

He then had R' Meir and R' Natan thrown out, though they were brought back due to popular demand (literally). Had they succeeded in publicly humiliating him, though, he likely would have come up with an even more severe punishment that may have led to a schism in leadership. Rabbi Ya’akov's actions averted that, though nothing in the text indicated he was ever thanked for that.

Notice also how very thoughtful and considerate Rabbi Ya'akov was in all this with deep insight into the egos he was dealing with and absolutely no personal gain. He could have tried to talk R' Meir out of the plan, though he likely knew that wouldn't work given R' Meir's personality. He could have told R' Shimon of the plot, rationalizing that the prohibition of lashon hara is pushed aside for the greater need of averting public humiliation. Or he could have openly offered to teach R' Shimon that tractate, though he knew that even that could have embarrassed the Nasi. And so he came up with this clever solution to avert disaster.

Some of us are given the opportunity to step in the way R' Ya'akov did to help without getting credit for what we do. It's the real measure of integrity to help someone out when even the person helped may not realize that you deserve credit for what you've done and that they owe you one. That is acting purely lishma.

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New thought for Tu B'Av

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 16:05:00 +0000

On Tu B'Av itself, I had a new insight about the contrast between this holiday and the 9th of Av. As it was Shabbos, I couldn't write it up right away. So here it is.

The halacha is that one is allowed to get engaged even on the 9th of Av itself shema yikadmenu acher - lest someone else beat you to it if you don't grab your chance. Perhaps this is the origin of the idea "All's fair in love." Yet it also carries a bit of a competitive spirit -- beating out someone else -- even while forming a bond with one's intended spouse. In contrast, on Tu B'Av, the women who gathered in the vineyards were cooperative, lending out their white dresses to others so that no one would be embarrassed if she didn't have one to wear. And so we see that absolute ahavat chinam -- unconditional love -- that is the opposite of sinat chinam -- the baseless hatred that caused the churban of the second Beis Hamikdash. May it be rebuilt bimhera beyameinu.

Don't diminish Tu B'Av by calling it a Jewish Valentine's Day

The 15th of Av

Thoughts on Tu B'Av

This year's thoughts on Tu B'Av
The 15th of Av take 3, Allegory & Significance

The 15th of Av take 4, differing accounts and group numbers

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No, Shaul did not have a valid point

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 20 Jul 2025 01:56:00 +0000

Several months back during Pesach, I attended a "shir" at a local shul that was given by one of the members. He wanted to suggest that as someone more enlightened than those of the "Torah only" yeshiva world, he could understand a moral imperative that was outside the boundaries of Torah. accordingly, he argued that Shaul made a valid point in failing to carry out the order to remove all reminders of Amalek, including Agag and the sheep. This may be kfira, and is certainly dead wrong. There are times when Hashem wanted a tzadik to argue with Him so to speak, as when Avraham attempted to find a defense for Sdom and when Moshe defended Klal Yisrael. But disobeying a clear order from a navi because you think you are more merciful than G-d himself is definitely perverted morality. Shaul is the exemplar of that, as referenced in Koeheles Rabbah 7:16

אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה וְאַל תִּתְחַכֵּם יוֹתֵר, אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה יוֹתֵר מִבּוֹרַאֲךָ, מְדַבֵּר בְּשָׁאוּל, דִּכְתִיב (שמואל א טו, ה): וַיָּבֹא שָׁאוּל עַד עִיר עֲמָלֵק וגו', רַבִּי הוּנָא וְרַבִּי בְּנָיָה אוֹמֵר הִתְחִיל מִדַּיֵּן הוּא כְּנֶגֶד בּוֹרְאוֹ, וְאָמַר כָּךְ אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא: לֵךְ וְהִכִּיתָ אֶת עֲמָלֵק, אִם אֲנָשִׁים חָטְאוּ הַנָּשִׁים מֶה חָטְאוּ, וְהַטַּף מֶה חָטְאוּ, וְהַבָּקָר וְשׁוֹר וַחֲמוֹר מֶה חָטְאוּ. יָצָאת בַּת קוֹל וְאָמְרָה: אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה, יוֹתֵר מִבּוֹרַאֲךָ. וְרַבָּנָן אָמְרֵי הִתְחִיל מִדַּיֵּן כְּנֶגֶד עֶגְלָה עֲרוּפָה, וְאוֹמֵר, אָמַר הַכָּתוּב (דברים כא, ד): וְעָרְפוּ שָׁם אֶת הָעֶגְלָה בַּנָּחַל, הוּא הוֹרֵג וְהִיא נֶעֱרֶפֶת, אִם אָדָם חָטָא בְּהֵמָה מֶה חָטְאָה, יָצְאָה בַּת קוֹל וְאָמְרָה: אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ אוֹמֵר, כָּל מִי שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה רַחְמָן בֵּמְקוֹם אַכְזָרִי, סוֹף שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה אַכְזָרִי בִּמְקוֹם רַחֲמָן, וּמִנַּיִן שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה אַכְזָרִי בִּמְקוֹם רַחְמָן, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמואל א כב, יט): וְאֶת נֹב עִיר הַכֹּהֲנִים הִכָּה לְפִי חֶרֶב, וְלֹא תְהֵא נֹב כְּזַרְעוֹ שֶׁל עֲמָלֵק. וְרַבָּנָן אָמְרִין כָּל מִי שֶׁנַּעֲשָׂה רַחְמָן בִּמְקוֹם אַכְזָרִי סוֹף שֶׁמִּדַּת הַדִּין פּוֹגַעַת בּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמואל א לא, ו): וַיָּמָת שָׁאוּל וּשְׁלשֶׁת בָּנָיו.

Shaul thought he was being more merciful in sparing the animals, along with Agag in the battle with Amalek. A Heavenly voice then called out, "Don't be overly righteous." the verse from Kohelet. R' Shimon ben Lakish declared, "Anyone who acts mercifully when cruelty is called for will end up being cruel when he should be merciful." Shaul proved that in his decimation of Nov, the city of Kohanim. The Rabbis say: Anyone who becomes compassionate when he should be cruel, ultimately, the attribute of justice will harm him, as it is stated: “Saul and his three sons died” (I Samuel 31:6). a

The thing is that when your compass shows you the wrong direction for north, your path will, inevitably lead you astray, and even what seems like a virtue -- compassion - -will lead to destruction. I saw this point illustrated very well in a piece that was included in Rabbi Frand's column on Parshas Pinchas here: https://torah.org/torah-portion/ravfrand-5782-pinchas/. I consider it worth reading in full to not just understand this principle but the extent of evil that even Jews are capable of to grasp how people today will express slander and lies to disparage their fellow Jews to vile organizations like B'Tselem and malicious publications like Haaretz :

The pasuk in this week’s parsha says, “Harass the Midianites and smite them. For they harassed you…” (Bamidbar 25:17-18). The Ribono shel Olam tells Moshe that he should take revenge from the Midianites for what they did toKlal Yisrael. The Medrash Tanchuma comments on this: “One who rises up to kill you—preemptively kill him. Rav Shimon says, ‘How do we know that someone who causes his friend to sin is worse than someone who kills his friend?’ It is because when someone kills another person, the victim still has a portion in the World-to-Come. However, when someone causes his friend to be sinful, he causes the friend to lose both this world and the next world.

The Medrash continues: Two nations approached the Jewish nation by sword (attacking us physically, but not spiritually) and two other nations approached them by attempting to entice them to sin (attacking them spiritually). Mitzrayim and Edom attacked us physically, but Amon and Moav attacked us spiritually. By the former nations we are commanded “Do not hate them” (Devorim 23:8). By the third generation following their conversion, we are allowed to intermarry with them (Devorim 23:9). However, concerning those who caused us to sin, it is written “Neither an Ammonite nor a Moavite shall enter into the Congregation ofHashem, even in the tenth generation they shall not enter into the Congregation ofHashem, forever.” (Devorim 23:4)

Ammon and Moav are on the “Enemies List” forever, because they did something far worse than trying to kill us physically. They tried to seduce us. They tried to take away our Olam HaBah. Therefore, the Ribono shel Olam rejects them eternally.

The Medrash continues and says that someone who has mercy on an Ammonite will end up suffering. He will come to shame, to wars, and to troubles. If the Torah rejects them and places them “off limits” then we are not allowed to show them kindness or to be nice to them. This is an old principle: Don’t be frumer (more religious) than the Torah. The Medrash gives an example of someone who had mercy on an Ammonite and, as a result, suffered terribly: Dovid HaMelech. As it is written: “And Dovid said I will do a kindness with Chonan son of Nachash, as his father did with me…” (Shmuel II 10:2)

Nachash was the King of Amon, and at one point he did a favor to Dovid (Shmuel I Chapter 11). Dovid HaMelech now wanted to repay the favor, so when Nachash died, he sent messengers to be Menachem Avel (extend condolence wishes to the mourner) to this Ammonite. The Medrash relates: “The Holy One Blessed be He said, ‘You have transgressed My Word to not inquire about or be concerned about their welfare. And you showed them acts of kindness. ‘Don’t be overly righteous!’ (Koheles 7:16)”.

What happened to Dovid as a result of this gesture? We won’t go into all the details of a long and complicated story in Tanach, but to make a long story short, when the messengers of Dovid HaMelech arrived at the palace, they were treated brutally, stripped down to the waist, and half their beards were cut off to mock them.

This is the point of the Medrash: A person should only do what the Torah says, and not try to improve on the Torah’s morality. If the Torah says about the Ammonites and Moavites “Don’t seek their welfare or their benefit,” we should follow the Torah and not be more “religious” than the Word of G-d.

Thesefer Otzros haTorah brings a fantastic incident: When Rav Moshe Feinstein was a Rav in Luban, Russia, there was a Jew in the city who was a moser. A moser is a person that snitches to the government against Jews. (One has to realize that this incident took place in the 1930s, under the Stalinist Government. The Communists were at their height of power and were terrible to the Jews.) There were unfortunately Jews who were members of the Communist party, and they would snitch on other Jews to get them into trouble with the Soviet authorities.

The moser died and he left a letter to the Chevra Kadisha (Burial Society) in which he confessed that he had been sinful during his life, and stated that now prior to death he regretted those actions. He bemoaned the fact that he was responsible for having Jews arrested, sent to Siberia, and killed. Out of shame and repentance, he stated that he wished to achieve kappara (atonement) after death for his actions, and hence requested of the Chevra Kadisha that they not give him a proper Jewish burial. He requested that his body be mutilated and abused. “I don’t want to have a tahara—just roll me in the gutter as a kappara for what I did in my lifetime.”

The Chevra Kadisha came to the Rav of Luban, Rav Moshe Feinstein, and showed him this “Last Will and Testament” of this Moser, and asked for his advice. Rav Moshe paskened that they were not allowed to treat a Jewish body disrespectfully, and that they had to bury him with a tahara and with all the honor and dignity accorded to any Jewish person being buried. He ruled that no person is the master over his own body, and this person had no right to make such a request. “What is going to happen to him after death is between him and the Ribono shel Olam, but we cannot take the law into our own hands and do this to another Jew because it is against the Din (Jewish law).”

The Chevra Kadisha tried to argue with Rav Moshe, repeating what an evil person this fellow was. Rav Moshe persisted: “This is what it says in Shulchan Aruch. You need to follow the Din. Don’t be frumer than the Torah.”

The Chevra Kaddisah buried the fellow, perhaps not with “full military honors,” but with normal Kavod HaMeisim (dignity due to the dead). A few days after the burial, the watchman at the cemetery reported that officers from the Russian Government came and insisted that the body be exhumed. The watchman was not in a position to tell the government officers “Sorry, we don’t do that type of thing.”

They dug up the grave. They opened the coffin. They looked at the body. They closed the coffin. And they reburied him. Before they left, the watchman asked if they could give him an explanation about what just happened. They told him what happened: Before this moser died, he sent a second letter. He sent a letter to the government stating that he could demonstrate how much the Jews hate the Communist authorities. “They are not going to give me a proper Jewish funeral because I was a friend of the government.”

Lo and behold, when they opened the coffin, they saw that he was buried k’das u’k’din (according to Jewish law) and that the allegation in the letter he sent them was in no way true. The moral of this story is: Keep what is written in Shulchan Aruch. Shulchan Aruch states what we are supposed to do. We should not try to outsmart the Shulchan Aruch, and we should not try to be frumer than the Shulchan Aruch. “Al te’hee Tzadik Harbeh” — ‘Don’t be overly righteous!’ (Koheles 7:16).

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Roundup of Shavuoth posts

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 29 May 2025 16:00:00 +0000

My revelation about the mourning during sefira

TAKING THE SPIRITUAL ADVANTAGE RATHER THAN THE MATERIAL -- LESSON FROM MEGILAS RUTH

THOUGHTS FOR SHAVUOTH

THE ANTI-HERO AND HEROINE IN THE BOOK OF RUTH

Force of habit

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My revelation about the mourning during sefira

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 15 May 2025 22:02:00 +0000

Tonight is Lag B'Omer, a day when many people end their observation of the mourning practices associated with the days between Pesach and Shavuoth. Someone said something this past Sunday that revealed something about behavior that appears to be good but also involves hurting certain people that gave me new insight into why the tragedy of the deaths of R' Akiva's students is one we continue to observe so many centuries later.

Let's go back to the source, the passage in Yavom 62b:

אָמְרוּ: שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר אָלֶף זוּגִים תַּלְמִידִים הָיוּ לוֹ לְרַבִּי עֲקִיבָא מִגְּבָת עַד אַנְטִיפְרַס, וְכוּלָּן מֵתוּ בְּפֶרֶק אֶחָד, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁלֹּא נָהֲגוּ כָּבוֹד זֶה לָזֶה.

Rebbi Akiva had twelve thousand pairs of students in an area of land that stretched from Gevat to Antipatris in Judea. They all died in one period of time [between Pesach and Shavuoth], because they did act with respect to each other.

When you relay this historical incident, it sounds completely out of proportion to sentence these great Torah scholars to death by plague for what appears to be a slight failing. It doesn't say that they directly insulted or undermined each other, so we have to ask: What's going on here?

Notice that it doesn't say 24,000 but 12,000 pairs. One can understand that as a reference to the pairs of chavrusos [learning partners]. However, I see another point to it now, which makes me understand why this kind of behavior was punished so severely.

Each pair was a unit unto itself. They respected each other as learning partners who collaborate. They likely would have invited each other over to their homes to further their discussions and the like and so maintained what would be considered respectful behavior to each other. However, the closeness they would have built up between them may have ended defining a very tightly defined circle that excluded the 11,999 pairs, and that is what led them to not behave quite the way they should have with the other students.

You don't have to go out of your way to snub someone to be guilty of this kind of thing. It can happen just from showing that you regard them as outside your circle -- not worth of your regard and attention. Is that really so bad? In the eyes of a true Torah perspective, yes, it is.

That is the fundamental lesson of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza, whose cliquishness led to literal disaster in the form of the churban. We learn this as ancient history that is still relevant to us because sinas chinam is what is preventing the Bais Hamikdash from being rebuilt. For Rabbi Akiva's students, though, it wasn't ancient history; it was very recent -- in living memory of many people around them.

I believe that is why they are dealt with so harshly for not applying that lesson to their own lives when they proceeded to form their own closed groups and treating those outside it as outsiders whom they have a right to exclude. I'd also say that it is the same reason we observe mourning during sefira -- not just fo the 24,000 lives snuffed out but for the failure to apply the lesson of Kamtza and bar Kamtza which keeps the state of churban and galus in effect for two thousand years.

Even when such behavior was not something that led to the churban, it aroused very severe punishment. Consider the consequences of Penina behavior toward Chana -- even though she had good intentions -- the loss of nearly her children. Or think about what the Gemara says about Boaz/Ivtan in Bava Basra 91a

דְּאָמַר רַבָּה בַּר רַב הוּנָא אָמַר רַב: מֵאָה וְעֶשְׂרִים מִשְׁתָּאוֹת עָשָׂה בֹּעַז לְבָנָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיְהִי לוֹ שְׁלֹשִׁים בָּנִים, וּשְׁלֹשִׁים בָּנוֹת שִׁלַּח הַחוּצָה וּשְׁלֹשִׁים בָּנוֹת הֵבִיא לְבָנָיו מִן הַחוּץ. וַיִּשְׁפֹּט אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁבַע שָׁנִים״,וּבְכָל אַחַת וְאַחַת עָשָׂה שְׁנֵי מִשְׁתָּאוֹת: אֶחָד בְּבֵית אָבִיו וְאֶחָד בְּבֵית חָמִיו. וּבְכוּלָּן לֹא זִימֵּן אֶת מָנוֹחַ, אֲמַר: כּוּדְנָא עֲקָרָה בְּמַאי פָּרְעָא לִי

תָּאנָא: וְכוּלָּן מֵתוּ בְּחַיָּיו.

Rabba bar Rav Huna says that Rav says: The judge Ibzan of Bethlehem (see Judges 12:8–10) is Boaz. The Gemara asks: What is he teaching us? The Gemara explains that this comment is in accordance with the other statement of Rabba bar Rav Huna, as Rabba bar Rav Huna says that Rav says: Boaz prepared one hundred and twenty feasts for his children at their weddings. As it is stated, concerning Ibzan: “And he had thirty sons, and thirty daughters he sent abroad, and thirty daughters he brought in from abroad for his sons. And he judged Israel seven years” (Judges 12:9). The verse indicates that he had sixty children.And at each and every wedding he prepared for his children, he made two feasts, one in the house of the father of the groom and one in the house of the father-in-law of the groom. And he did not invite Manoah, [who became the father of Shimshon] to any of them, as he said: It is not worth inviting him; he is a sterile mule, how will he pay me back? Manoah will never invite me in return, as he has no children. All those children died in his lifetime.

It is highly unlikely that someone of Ivtzan's status -- one of the leaders listed in Shoftim -- made a point of not inviting Manoach to the feasts made for his many children's weddings because he felt he would lose out monetarily. He may well have intended it as point of sensitivity -- not to make Manoach feel bad that he's invited to something he could never offer himself. Nevertheless, there was still an element her of exclusion that can cause another pain, and so Ivtazan lost that wealth of children hat made him feel he and Manoach were in completely different circles that need not mix. This is very important to bear in mind any time you think you'll not invite someone to your simcha with rationalizations of any kind. You have no idea what kind of hurt you may cause and how you may be judged by the one true Judge as a result.

As Shavuoth is supposed to be on everyone's mind during the sefira period as the goal to which we count up from the second night of Pesach, it is fitting to also consider how Ivtzan as Boaz in Megillat Ruth redeemed himself. At the point at which Ruth accompanies Naomi to Beit Lechem, Boaz had already lost all his children and his wife. He demonstrates that he has learned his lesson of not excluding people who are not quite of his set in making the public declaration that he will marry Ruth whom Ploni Almoni (who was actually named Tov, according to some commentators, but failed to live up to his name) refused to accept as a wife with the excuse that it would harm his estate. Boaz who did take her on then merited the greatest estate of all -- becoming the ancestor of David who heads of the monarchy of the Jewish people.

According to even the most stringent view of observing mourning for the entire sefira period, that ends within three days of Shavuoth when Bnei Yisrael gathered together as one - keish echad beleve echad -- with no divisions of cliques in order to receive the Torah. But even those who will abstain from music and haircuts through the third of Sivan typically will take a break from mourning on Lag B'Omer.

Perhaps Lag B'Omer, the yahrzeit of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai -- one of R' Akiva's surviving students -- is associated with relief from this mourning because he had to learn this lesson of not just staying within your own chosen circle and disdaining everyone else. It took a full 13 year for him to absorb that. But at least he did. How many of us go through our entire lifetime, in effect, harming the people we treat with disdain even while thinking of ourselves as good and noble because we're frum and learned?

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2018/05/thought-on-r-shimon-bar-yochai-on-lag.html

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/05/hadassim-for-shabbos-thoughts-for-lag.html

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-anti-hero-and-heroine-in-book-of.html

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The end of Pesach and beyond

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 21:31:00 +0000

Divrei Chaim: back where we started from -- or (hopefully) not; ...: 1) Chazal tell us that not only did Yam Suf split to allow Bn"Y to cross, but all the waters in the world split as well. Some explain ...

Divrei Chaim: Chasdei Lev pre-Pesach food distribution -- chesse...

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 16:40:00 +0000

Divrei Chaim: Chasdei Lev pre-Pesach food distribution -- chesse...: Yesterday my wife and I decided to take a walk in the park since it was nice in the afternoon. As we neared the park, we saw that there was...

The 2024 eclipse of the sun

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Mon, 24 Feb 2025 16:54:00 +0000

Last year was those of us in the United States got to see a total solar eclipse on April 8, 2024. I got one of those pairs of shaded glasses to make it safe to look up at the event. I didn't think at the time of this Gemara:

Sukkah 29A

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: בִּשְׁבִיל אַרְבָּעָה דְּבָרִים חַמָּה לוֹקָה: עַל אָב בֵּית דִּין שֶׁמֵּת וְאֵינוֹ נִסְפָּד כַּהֲלָכָה, וְעַל נַעֲרָה הַמְאוֹרָסָה שֶׁצָּעֲקָה בָּעִיר וְאֵין

מוֹשִׁיעַ לָהּ, וְעַל מִשְׁכַּב זְכוּר, וְעַל שְׁנֵי אַחִין שֶׁנִּשְׁפַּךְ דָּמָן כְּאֶחָד.

The Sages taught that on account of four matters the sun is eclipsed: On account of a president of the court who dies and is not eulogized appropriately, and the eclipse is a type of eulogy by Heaven; on account of a betrothed young woman who screamed in the city that she was being raped and there was no one to rescue her; on account of homosexuality; and on account of two brothers whose blood was spilled as one.

It is chilling that 2/4 of these descriptions match the horrors of October 7, 2023. Even before that nightmare and the devastating revelation about Kfir and Ariel Bibas, I recall the loss of several pairs of brothers murdered as one by terrorists. They are, in fact, all our brothers, acheinu kol beit Yisrael.

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Purim 5785: Do you talk the talk or just dress the part?

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 02 Feb 2025 23:57:00 +0000

I know that Purim is still more than a month away, but I was inspired to say something after seeing a certain post and follow-up comment on LinkedIn. That platform includes quite a number of people who look very frum with beards and peyos. But they are there just for business and seem to compartmentalize a Jewish soul from a businessman's head.

This particular person who calls himself a fractional CFO was bemoaning the fact that Trump's proposed tariffs could harm his business and the businesses of various partners. My response to that was "Lev melachim beyad Hashem. In truth, there issues that matter to me a great deal more than inflation and domestic production."

As so often happens on LinkedIn when people don't expect to be challenged in any way, he played dumb about what I meant. So I clarified: "You really have to ask after that has happened since Shmini Atzeret 5783?"

His response was to twist my words thus: " I ask what's the logic of tariffs and you say, neh, after Oct 7 nothing matters. "

I responded: "I didn't say nothing matters. Read my first comment again. It's a matter of priorities and perspective, as well as bitachon."

Oh, he didn't like that at all and tried to twist my words again ending with the lie that he's really trying to understand. Realizing that he is not and suspecting that the same person attempted to correct me before for a term that I was using correctly, as many citation proved, but who never had the grace to apologize, I decided to stop following him or responding to him and to write my blog here instead:

Purim is he holiday of masks and costumes. There are a number of reasons for the custom of dressing up.

One is, obviously, a nod to the hidden quality of the miracle in the Purim story. Esther herself had to remain

disguised for years as she hid her identity from Achashverosh.

But today we have a flipside to this. There are Jews who appear as Jews with Jewish names and Hasidic garb.

But they compartmentalize their identity in thinking their business is distinct from everything the Torah teaches

us about faith and practice. Any Jew who has not felt the pain of our people when our collective heart

was shattered on October 7, 2023 has a serious problem of not being noseh beol im chavero.

The megillah poignantly reminds us that anyone who thinks that their own position is secure and that they can

focus on just what pertains to them directly is not just delusional but doomed.

What Mordechai tells Esther is a reminder about priorities. Jewish survival trumps individual security.

In fact, there is no individual survival for the Jews who is not willing to put it all all (including your

business branding and concerns about economic fallout) on the line for the sake of our people:

כִּ֣י אִם־הַֽחֲרֵ֣שׁ תַּֽחֲרִ֘ישִׁי֘ בָּעֵ֣ת הַזֹּאת֒ רֶ֣וַח וְהַצָּלָ֞ה יַֽעֲמ֤וֹד לַיְּהוּדִים֙ מִמָּק֣וֹם אַחֵ֔ר וְאַ֥תְּ בֵֽית־אָבִ֖יךְ תֹּאבֵ֑דוּ For if you remain silent at this time, relief and rescue will arise for the Jews from elsewhere, and you and your father's household will perish.

Perhaps this is yet another reason for the custom of wielding a raashan [grogger] during the Megillah reading on Purim. Esther was very good at keeping quiet. But she had to break her natural inclination to make noise -- to speak up -- when necessary. During the Holocaust the Jews in America were repeatedly told to keep quiet about the genocide against their people in Europe. But it is the crying out in tefillos and in appeals to those who were in a position to help that is what is required of us.

The cries of our people is what spurred on the redemption from Egypt. and the gates of tears are never closed. If you don't say a peep about that but do cry about what you think tariffs will do to your business, you're klopping at the wrong time in the megillah. all you can cry about is tariffs, you're not echoing Esther but the ungreateful people in the midbar who disdained the mann and complained זָכַ֨רְנוּ֙ אֶת־הַדָּגָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־נֹאכַ֥ל בְּמִצְרַ֖יִם חִנָּ֑ם אֵ֣ת הַקִּשֻּׁאִ֗ים וְאֵת֙ הָֽאֲבַטִּחִ֔ים וְאֶת־הֶֽחָצִ֥יר וְאֶת־הַבְּצָלִ֖ים וְאֶת־הַשּׁוּמִֽים:

What does that say about your priorities and what you use your voice for?

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2023/03/shabbos-parshas-zachor-and-purim.html

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Bayamim Hahem Bazman Hazeh: Chanukah 5785

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Wed, 25 Dec 2024 16:33:00 +0000

It's incredible to me that we're now entering the second Chanukah still at war after October 7th, and that there are still hostages, including the Bibas boys -- Ariel and Kfir-- in captivity for 445 days now.It truly boggles the mind that the world has no problem with innocent babies, children, mothers, fathers, elderly people, and even those who are young but guilty of no crime would be kidnapped and held for this long. Instead, they reserve their outrage for those who fight to free them.

And there are even those modern day Misyavinm -- the "As a Jew" people who sell out their heritage and family either because they are actually swayed by specious arguments or because they simply want to be in the popular group. The Maccabees had to battle these people, too. I don't just mean in terms of debate but in an actual civil war to preserve Jewish identity.

After all these centuries, we're in a similar position. And so we have to keep putting the Han in Hanukkah, aiming to defy the odds and accomplish more than what appears possible, and Hashem will do the rest. Like Pharoh's daughter who stretched out her arm to the baby in the Nile despite not being close enough to reach it, our arms much exceed our grasp.

As Robert Browning said in closing that line, "or what's a heaven for?" That's the real story of Chanukah, which is not just a pleasant winter holiday to make up to us that we don't put up trees to decorate. Even the reason for gelt rather than gifts is related to the deep meaning of the holiday.

Here's a collection of blogs I wrote on Chanukah over the years.

Why We Give Gelt on Chanukah

Hilchos Chanukah and Shalom Bayis

Hillel's Approach for Chanukah

Zos Chanukah

Shabbos Chanukah

What Does Your Threshold Say About You

Thoughts for Zos Chanukah 20202 Update

How to Keep the Han in Hanukkah

Fllow on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KallahMagazine/

Find your shidduch for free Oct. 9-10

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Mon, 30 Sep 2024 20:17:00 +0000

If you are not familiar with Shagirim Balev, I encourage you to check out the site. My daughter met her husband through this service in Israel where it has contributed to thousands of matches since Rabbi Rimon established it in 2019. With so many singles still struggling to be introduced to potential matches, the organization is now recruiting both shadchanim (which they call ambassadors) and singles outside Israel.

Having made more than one successful shidduch both directly and through another site, I decided to join this org to give back and help more people find their basherts. I know what other sites charge singles, and can assure you that even the regular price of $60 (that's lifetime -- not per month) is far more affordable than you'll find anywhere else.

To make it even more attractive to US members, we ambassadors are able to extend a discount that normally brings the price down to just $15. But for just 2 days in Tishrei/October, there is a special offer that allows you to sign up as a single member in the US absolutely free.

Again, that's a lifetime membership with the opportunity to be introduced to your other half for FREE.

Note: the assumption here is of dati/Orthodox singles but not the type of yeshivish singles who expect a very high level of involvement in planning dates and so forth as they avoid direct phone contact with each other. The shadchanim/ambassadors typically make the introduction and may listen to your impression but don't get detailed debriefs on every date through engagement. If you're OK with that, this could be a great option for you.

If you contact me to represent you on the platform, I can also assure you that I put a lot of effort into finding matches for singles and have three marriages to my credit.

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Rosh Hashana 5785: Observations and Eruv Tavshilin Reminder

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 13:41:00 +0000

This Rosh Hashana is unlike any many of us have experienced before as we continue to pray for the welfare of the hostages taken on the Simchas Torah attack last Tishrei. This year was palpable proof of the weakness that results from division and the strength that comes from unity. The challenge going forward is maintaining that unity and building upon it rather than falling back into bad habits.

Something we will encounter this Rosh Hashana that is somewhat rare is a Shabbos following the two day Yom Tov, which is often erroneously called "a 3 day Yom Tov." So here's a reminder of how to prepare the Eruv Tavshilin to allow you to cook - or just light your candles -- for Shabbos on Yom Tov.

To cover both cooking and baking, we use a representative food for each. It's traditional to use a boiled egg for the cooked item because it's simple and inexpensive. We usually all have a spare egg around. But it's fine to also use a piece of boiled chicken, fish, or meat, as well, so long as you can put it aside where it won't be consumed until the Sabbath day.

The same goes for the baked item, which can be a challah or matzoh.. We have to show that we've already begun the food preparation process before Yom Tov and will merely be continuing on Yom Tov itself. Note: The eruv tavshilin only allows cooking for the Sabbath on Yom Tov, it does not allow cooking from one day of the holiday to the next (i.e. Thursday for Friday). For what to say when setting aside the roll and egg or whatever you use, you can refer to and print this PDF.

Wishing everyone a kesiva vechasima tova.

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2014/09/transfigured-by-love-tshuva-mahava.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2015/09/new-beginnings-and-yom-hazikaron.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-sweet-new-beginning.html
http://divreichaim.blogspot.com/2010/09/sarahs-laughter-and-tshuvah.html?spref=bl
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2018/12/sins-sinners-and-mistranslation.html

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2019/10/at-fork-in-road.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2014/09/remembering-on-rosh-hashana.html
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-rosh-hashana-reboot.html
http://divreichaim.blogspot.com/2010/09/sarahs-laughter-and-tshuvah.html?spref=bl
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/rosh-hashana-reading-prospective-in-laws/

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Judging how you wish to be judged: Ki Tetze to Rosh Hashana

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Mon, 16 Sep 2024 20:08:00 +0000

Parshas Kit Tetze is chock full of mitzvos. Among those is bal talin, the prohibition to delay paying worker, which is the other side of the coin of the mitzvah to pay day workers at the end of the workday sunset Devarim 24:15):

בְּיוֹמוֹ֩ תִתֵּ֨ן שְׂכָר֜וֹ וְלֹֽא־תָב֧וֹא עָלָ֣יו הַשֶּׁ֗מֶשׁ כִּ֤י עָנִי֙ ה֔וּא

The worker depends on his daily wages for his daily expenses, so delaying payment is causing him real harm.

This definitely applies today when many people live paycheck to paycheck, and delays of payment can cause them to fall into debt as they have to borrow or advance credit to pay bills due now while waiting for their money to come through. Even if you know the person won't suffer immediate harm, delaying payment would still be a violation of Torah law (not a smart business practice to maximize your own cash flow). This is not an obscure chumra for which one gets extra credit. It is the actual letter of the law.

This is the necessary background for a famous account in the Gemara of the extent to which one has to go to be dan lekaf zchus - judging someone else favorably by giving them the benefit of the doubt,

Shabbos 127b

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: הַדָּן חֲבֵירוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת — דָּנִין אוֹתוֹ לִזְכוּת. וּמַעֲשֶׂה בְּאָדָם אֶחָד שֶׁיָּרַד מִגָּלִיל הָעֶלְיוֹן וְנִשְׂכַּר אֵצֶל בַּעַל הַבַּיִת אֶחָד בַּדָּרוֹם שָׁלֹשׁ שָׁנִים. עֶרֶב יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים אָמַר לוֹ: תֵּן לִי שְׂכָרִי, וְאֵלֵךְ וְאָזוּן אֶת אִשְׁתִּי וּבָנַי. אָמַר לוֹ: אֵין לִי מָעוֹת. אָמַר לוֹ: תֵּן לִי פֵּירוֹת. אָמַר לוֹ: אֵין לִי. תֵּן לִי קַרְקַע — אִין לִי. תֵּן לִי בְּהֵמָה — אֵין לִי. תֵּן לִי כָּרִים וּכְסָתוֹת — אֵין לִי. הִפְשִׁיל כֵּלָיו לַאֲחוֹרָיו, וְהָלַךְ לְבֵיתוֹ בְּפַחֵי נֶפֶשׁ.

לְאַחַר הָרֶגֶל נָטַל בַּעַל הַבַּיִת שְׂכָרוֹ בְּיָדוֹ, וְעִמּוֹ מַשּׂוֹי שְׁלֹשָׁה חֲמוֹרִים, אֶחָד שֶׁל מַאֲכָל, וְאֶחָד שֶׁל מִשְׁתֶּה, וְאֶחָד שֶׁל מִינֵי מְגָדִים, וְהָלַךְ לוֹ לְבֵיתוֹ. אַחַר שֶׁאָכְלוּ וְשָׁתוּ נָתַן לוֹ שְׂכָרוֹ.

אָמַר לוֹ: בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַרְתָּ לִי ״תֵּן לִי שְׂכָרִי״ וְאָמַרְתִּי ״אֵין לִי מָעוֹת״, בַּמֶּה חֲשַׁדְתַּנִי? אָמַרְתִּי: שֶׁמָּא פְּרַקְמַטְיָא בְּזוֹל נִזְדַּמְּנָה לְךָ, וְלָקַחְתָּ בָּהֶן. וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַרְתָּ לִי ״תֵּן לִי בְּהֵמָה״, וְאָמַרְתִּי ״אֵין לִי בְּהֵמָה״, בַּמֶּה חֲשַׁדְתַּנִי? אָמַרְתִּי: שֶׁמָּא מוּשְׂכֶּרֶת בְּיַד אֲחֵרִים. בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַרְתָּ לִי ״תֵּן לִי קַרְקַע״, וְאָמַרְתִּי לְךָ ״אֵין לִי קַרְקַע״, בַּמֶּה חֲשַׁדְתַּנִי? אָמַרְתִּי: שֶׁמָּא מוּחְכֶּרֶת בְּיַד אֲחֵרִים הִיא. וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַרְתִּי לְךָ ״אֵין לִי פֵּירוֹת״ בַּמֶּה חֲשַׁדְתַּנִי? אָמַרְתִּי: שֶׁמָּא אֵינָן מְעוּשָּׂרוֹת. וּבְשָׁעָה שֶׁאָמַרְתִּי לְךָ ״אֵין לִי כָּרִים וּכְסָתוֹת״ בַּמֶּה חֲשַׁדְתַּנִי? אָמַרְתִּי: שֶׁמָּא הִקְדִּישׁ כָּל נְכָסָיו לַשָּׁמַיִם.

אָמַר לוֹ: הָעֲבוֹדָה! כָּךְ הָיָה. הִדַּרְתִּי כׇּל נְכָסַי בִּשְׁבִיל הוּרְקָנוֹס בְּנִי שֶׁלֹּא עָסַק בַּתּוֹרָה. וּכְשֶׁבָּאתִי אֵצֶל חֲבֵירַי בַּדָּרוֹם הִתִּירוּ לִי כָּל נְדָרַי. וְאַתָּה, כְּשֵׁם שֶׁדַּנְתַּנִי לִזְכוּת, הַמָּקוֹם יָדִין אוֹתְךָ לִזְכוּת.

The Sages taught in a baraita: One who judges another favorably is himself judged favorably. And there was an incident involving a certain person who descended from the Upper Galilee and was hired to work for a certain homeowner in the South for three years. On the eve of Yom Kippur, he said to the homeowner: "Give me my wages, and I will go and feed my wife and children."

The owner replied: "I have no money." The worker then suggested that his wages be paid in produce, and the owner said he had none. The worker then suggested being paid in land, and the owner said he had none. The worker then suggested being paid in animals, and the owner said he had none. The worker suggested cushions and blankets serve as payment. The owner said he had none. The worker then gave up, slung his tools on his shoulder and returned to him own home in anguish.

After the festival of Sukkot, owner took the worker’s wages in his hand, along with a burden that required three donkeys, one laden with food, one laden with drink, and one laden with types of sweets, and went to the worker’s home. After they ate and drank, the homeowner gave him his wages.

The owner asked: "When you said to me: Give me my wages, and I said: I have no money, of what did you suspect me? Why did you not suspect me of trying to avoid paying you? "

The worker answered, "I said: Perhaps the opportunity to purchase merchandise [perakmatya] inexpensively presented itself, and you purchased it with the money that you owed me, and therefore you had no money available."

The owner asked: "And when you said to me: Give me animals, and I said: I have no animals, of what did you suspect me?"

The worker answered: "I said: Perhaps the animals are hired to others."

The owner asked: "When you said to me: Give me land, and I said: I have no land, of what did you suspect me?"

The worker answered: "I said: Perhaps the land is leased to others, and you cannot take the land from the lessees."

The owner asked: "And when you said to me: Give me produce, and I said: I have no produce, of what did you suspect me?

The worker answered:" I said: Perhaps they are not tithed, and that was why you could not give them to me.

The owner asked: "And when I said: I have no cushions or blankets, of what did you suspect me?"

The worker answered: "I said: Perhaps he consecrated all his property to Heaven and therefore has nothing available at present."

The owner then declared: "I swear by the Temple service that it was so. I had no money available at the time because I vowed and consecrated all my property on account of Hurkanus my son who did not engage in Torah study. And when I came to my colleagues in the South, the Sages dissolved all my vows." [That enabled him to discharge the overdue debt to the worker] "nd you, just as you judged favorably, so may G-d judge you favorably."

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Think of the powerful bracha in that conclusion. In this case where a person showed a tremendous capacity to judge someone else favorably despite all appearances, being held to the same standard by Gd would be a huge benefit. But what of the flip side? What would it mean to you if someone were to tell you, "May you be judged by G-d the way you judged me!"

I was really tempted to tell someone that this week. Someone was very nasty to me recently. She did the opposite of what we call being dan lekaf zchus, assuming I had received something she sent when I had not and had been flouting what she said. She didn't bother to reach out to me to get clarification but just acted on her own instinct, which itself was based on an irrational misunderstanding of something.

When this happens, I think, "If Hashem judges you the way you judged me, you'd be doomed."

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Another observation that I'd like to make on this episode is that the commentators identify the worker as R' Akiva. This happened before he married Rachel who encouraged him to learn. (R' Akiva had three wives in all, the unnamed one here, Rachel, and the wife of Turnus Rufus.) Some make the point that even in his state of ignorance of Torah learning, he still exhibited excellent middos.

However, I see a different form of potential here that we also see in other stories with R' Akiva -- that of imaginative vision. He was able to look beyond the obvious to imagine possible positive twists on things. There's another story about R' Akiva that is all about that -- his application of the teaching that all that happens is for the good, which he learned from his teacher, Nachum Ish Gamzu, as recounted in Berachos 60b:

When Rabbi Akiva was walking along the road and came to a certain city, he inquired about lodging. the people refused him. He said, "Everything the Merciful One does is for the good. " He set out to sleep in a field along with a rooster, a donkey and a candle. A gust of wind came and extinguished the candle. Then a cat came and ate the rooster. Then and a lion came and ate the donkey. For each loss, he declared, "Everything the Merciful One does is for the good."

That night, an army came and took the city into captivity. Rabbi Akiva alone, who was not in the city and had no lit candle or noisy animals to give away his location, was saved. He said to the people, "Didn’t I tell you? Everything the Merciful One does is for the good."

This same kind of vision that asserts confidence in positive outcomes is also behind his ability to laugh even when the rabbis around him cried at the sight of a fox on the site of Bais Hamikdash.

Divrei Chaim: how quickly people forget 9/11

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 23:50:00 +0000

Divrei Chaim: how quickly people forget 9/11: On 9/11 I was working for a company in lower Manhattan, on Broad Street, and had the unfortunate privileges of having front row seats for th...

Don't diminish Tu B'Av by calling it a Jewish Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 18 Aug 2024 19:53:00 +0000

What is Tu B'Av?

The Gemara (Taanis 30b-31a; Bava Basra 121) remarks, Yom Kippur was a day of joy and celebration, for "selicha and mechila," as well as the giving of the luchos, but what happened on the 15th of Av? It goes on to list the events that Kehati refers to in his gloss of the Mishna.

The way it ends forces a connection between this event that would lead to marriages and the building of the Bais Hamikdash, which is what is signified by "yom simchas libo" [the day of his {Shlomo's} heart's gladness]. As a marriage of accord is one in which the yud and the heh combine from Ish and Isha, it is meant to serve as a dwelling, so to speak for the Schina [Divine presence]. So building a marriage is building a Mikdash, which is what the Bayis ne'eman everyone wishes for the young couple in their congratulation is supposed to be about.

6 positive things are commemorated on the 15th of Av. Two of them are directly related to marriage, or, more specifically, permission to marry:

1. On this day, the tribes were granted permission to marry out of their tribes. In the first generation to enter the Land of Israel and to receive their portion of land, women who inherited their fathers were not allowed to marry out of their tribe, so as not to allow land belonging to one tribe to pass over to another, as we read in the recent Torah portion about the daughter of Tzlofchad. On Tu B'Av, it was clarified that this limitation was only for the generation of the daughters of Tzolfchad and would not apply to future generations.

2. The tribe of Benjamin was allowed to marry other tribes after the episode of pilegesh bagiva that prompted the rest of the Israelites to pronounce a ban on offering their daughters to the tribe from which the people responsible for the atrocity sprang. Then they realized that a whole tribe may be lost and came up with the idea for the men of Benyamin without possible wives from their own tribe could grab their brides from the women in the vineyards.
Just to fill out the list:
3. The "Desert Generation" ended.

Following the Sin of the Spies, when the people of Israel cried that they would not go to the Land of Israel, the whole generation of Israelites who had left Egypt was sentenced to die in the Desert.

Every year until the fortieth year, on the eve of the Ninth of Av, Moshe Rabeinu would command them, "Go out and dig!" They would go out of their desert camp, dig themselves graves, and sleep in them overnight. The next morning, a messenger would proclaim, "Let the living separate from the dead!" About fifteen thousand men would have died that night; the others would return to the camp for another year.

In the last, fortieth year, no one died. At first they thought that they might have counted the days wrong, and so they slept in their graves the next night too. This went on until the fifteenth of Av, when they finally realized that no more people would die, and they declared that day a day of celebration (Talmud Yerushalmi, Ta'anit 4:6).4. The decree of guards to prevent anyone from the Kingdom of Israel from crossing over into the Kingdom of Judah and going to the Holy Temple in Jerusalem set up by Yerovam Ben Nevat was annulled this decree on Tu B'Av.

5. Those who were killed at Beitar were buried.

6. No more trees were cut down for use on the Holy Altar.
The wood used to fuel the Holy Altar was dried, since fresh logs might contain worms. After Tu B'Av, the days become shorter and the sun is no longer strong enough to dry out freshly cut logs.Because it marked the completion of the work for Hashem, it was made into a Yom Tov.

How Tu B'Av was celebrated

All the events described above contributed to Tu B'Av being one of the of the most joyous days of the year in Israel, as described in the last Mishnah in Taanit (4:8) :

Rabban Shimon the son of Gamliel said: There were no holidays so joyous for the Jewish People as the Fifteenth of Av and Yom HaKippurim, for on those days, daughters of Yerushalayim would go out dressed in borrowed white clothing, so as not to embarrass the one who didn't have. . . And the daughters of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards. And what would they [the women] say?

"Young man, lift up your eyes and see what you are choosing for yourself. Don't look only at physical beauty - look rather at the family - 'For charm is false, and beauty is vanity. A G-d - fearing woman is the one to be praised...' ("Mishlei"/Proverbs 31:30)

They proceed to quote further further from Eshes Chayil, and the Mishna concludes with Tanna's addition of a quote from Shir HaShirim. whose explications leads up to "this is is the building of the Holy Temple that should be rebuilt speedily in our days, Amen."

There are more lines ascribed to the girls who participate in the festivities of Tu B'av in the Talmud's account in Taanis 31a than in the Mishna cited above. It also goes into more detail about the borrowing of white dresses --who lent to whom -- and the necessity for purifying the clothes. In addition to sparing one the possibility of embarrassment by lending her a white dress when she may not own one, the fact that everyone was borrowing meant that all had to purify the dresses with a dunk in the mikvah.

The daughter of Israel go out and dance in the vineyards. Anyone who lacked a wife went there. . . . Our rabbis learned: The beautiful ones among them would say: "Raise your eyes to beauty, for a wife is only for beauty." The girls who had yichus [well established, reputable families] would say, "Raise your eyes to family, for a wife is only for children." The ugly ones among them would say, "Take what you take for the sake of Heaven, and adorn us in gold jewelry."

This version sounds a lot less pious than the one in the Mishna. The girls here are not quoting verses from TaNaCh to make their sales pitch. Instead, they are essentially putting their best assets forward. The ones who have beauty flaunt it here and capitalize on it in this marriage market. They would not be singing "sheker hacheyn vehevel hayofi," but the opposite as it suits their purposes in being selected as a wife. The ones with good family seem to not be the same as the beautiful ones, so they are not talking about genes that lead to good looks in children but genes and environment that lead to other positive traits for children.

The most amazing is that the girls who have the least to offer -- the ones termed outright ugly in the description -- declare that they too have a right to marry, and the men should be motivated by the sake of Heaven (I imagine they meant the mitzvah) to marry. Furthermore, they place the onus of attractions on their husbands-to-be with the assurance that the right jewelry and clothes (as Rashi, I believe, says) would work wonders on their looks.

The most remarkable expression here is that even the girls who are not only B but possible C list as far as shidduch rankings may go do not see themselves as rejects. The problem lies not in them but in the vision of the prospective husband. Instead of looking for what he could acquire that builds his status from a wife, he should look at what he could do for her!

Another two variant accounts

The Yerushalmi learns differently. In its account there are only two types who present themselves -- the beautiful and the ugly. The way the original Mishna quote is rendered as follows: "The ugly ones would say, do not look toward beauty [noy], and the beautiful ones would say, look toward family."

Thus, the ugly ones offer only a negative statement of "don't look for beauty," without a positive directive of what virtue can be gained by looking elsewhere. Though the Korban Haedah offers a gloss on the text that the statement would finish with "rather look for a woman who would find favor in your eyes because of her deeds," the text itself does not indicate what virtue the ugly ones have to offer. Only the beautiful ones say what to look toward. Instead of the "look toward for family" becoming a redirection for those who may have looked toward beauty initially to look beyond, it is a less boastful way of the beautiful ones to direct attention to the beauty they have to offer. In a way this makes sense, as physical beauty is largely genetic as parents pass on their physical traits to their offspring. Still, it does really wrench apart the way the Mishna quoted in the Yerushalmi reads, "do not look toward beauty but rather to family."

There is yet a fourth variation on this account, which actually identifies 4 groups speaking in the Eyn Yaakov. While it preserves the Gemara's account with the 3 groups, it also inserts another after the ones who cite the virtue of family in parentheses: ashiros shebahen omros, tnu eynechem bebaley mammon [the rich ones among them would say, look at masters of wealth]. Of course, the parentheses indicate that you skip that part of the text. Still, it is interesting that the one category that looms so large today was added in.

What the three groups could mean

I examined that here: Related:15th of Av

and then thought of another idea related to tov, arev, and moil [good, sweet, and yielding other benefit] The beautiful ones offer something arev, with an immediate pleasure of attraction. The ones with family offer something moil -- the benefit for children. The ugly ones, though, offer the ultimate tov in an option to do something purely good with no ulterior motive.

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The Morgan Library Erases Israel

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 18 Jul 2024 22:57:00 +0000

This past Sunday I was in the Morgan Library & Museum. and had a vey unpleasant surprise. I never expected to see anything inciting hate on exhibit here, especially something that was designed to attract the participation of children. Silly me, this is 2024 when it has become trendy to attack Jews under the guise of "anti-Zionism."

Above is the sign for the exhibit of the winners of theThe Morgan Book Project. The program brings in 3rd-12th grade New York City public schools teachers. The site describes it as "a free extended learning program in which the Morgan’s education staff collaborates with New York City public school teachers to implement curriculum in their classrooms based on traditional methods of book production."

While some of the student work is indeed impressive, especially for 5th grade, a submission from a ninth grader in the High School of Telecommunications Arts and Technology is quite another story. It appears students in that school are taught anti-Israel propaganda rather than basic history and geography. As you see from the picture of the cover juxtaposed next to the map of Israel that shows the outline of the Gaza strip, "Life in Gaza" shows all of Israel as if it were the map of Gaza. The Gaza strip is nothing like that distinctive shape bordered by the river and sea that those who long for a Judenfrei Middle East love to reference.

Is it possible that Ghaydaa would dare to write about life in Gaza without even knowing what Gaza looks like? Sure, it is. Facts don't matter when you're upholding a narrative that has been spoonfed to you by teachers with an agenda. Both geographic and historical context go out the window.

Maybe it was chosen for artistic rather than factual merit, you may argue in the Morgan's defense. Well, see the pages for yourself. If you go in, compare it with the far more beautifully rendered and clearer writing of far younger students. The mastery of both drawing and writing here is definitely not impressive at that grade level, and is even inferior to what fifth graders produced.

The nearly illegible handwriting makes this very difficult to read -- even if it weren't under glass. The story seems to be about the poor victimized journalist whose family must move when Israel warns the people in Gaza to evacuate to not be in the bombing zone.

We see people drawn with wounds and bleeding. Are these the hostages that such journalists have held prisoner for months in their home? Or are they the ones that merely went along for the ride on October 7th while Hamas and willing civilians carried out unspeakable atrocities while murdering 1200+, wounding thousands of others, and taking over 250 people (including Thai migrants, elderly people, numerous women and children) hostage. Over 150 of those hostages have yet to be returned even 9 months later. Among those are 4 year-old Ariel and 9-month-old Kfir Bibas -- now held captive for longer than he's lived free -- if he even is still alive. We have no way of knowing because the Red Cross has not lifted a finger to check for proof of life or to see to it that the hostages are getting food and essential medicine.

None of that context is within that "Life in Gaza," that pretends that the people there are the only ones suffering. It ignores the October 7 attack, the unrelenting rockets that have not let up, and the refusal to release hostages. This would be like the Germans declaring they are suffering in the bombing of Dresden and the Allies should be stopped while ignoring who started the conflict with barbaric war crimes.

Across the globe, antisemitic attacks have increased by over 100% since October. The hatred that spurs it is fanned by the Hamas-supporting kind of work that this student project manifests. Jews have not just been harassed but physically attacked and even killed in the name of "Gaza".

If the people who manage the book project wanted to touch on the conflict for the sake of history, they should have also carried the other side of the story with a book from a student about "Life in Sderot" or even "Life in Northern Israel" -- both areas that had to be evacuated because they were under constant bombardment from terrorists. Those facts don't fit that narrative of Israel as aggressor and the deliberate denial of Jew as victims.

As I do have journalistic ethics, I expressed my concerns to the contact for the book project: schools@themorgan.org This is what came back.

Can you imagine getting that dismissive "no comment" response if the work displayed had erased any other nation identified with a religious minority? I can't. But as I said, it's become trendy to express hatred for Jews openly and with a sense of virtue -- so long as the code words "Israel" or "Zionist" are put in place of "Jew."

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How now, red cow

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 16:26:00 +0000

Pposts on Parshas Chukas

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2018/06/from-korach-to-chukas.html

My grandfather's vort: https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/07/order-of-importance-or-of-action.html

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Roundup of posts on Parshas Korach

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Thu, 04 Jul 2024 13:16:00 +0000

The vort from my grandfather: https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/07/individual-and-collective-blame.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2017/06/korach-daddy-of-dissent.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2017/04/true-leaders-and-demagogues.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2018/06/from-korach-to-chukas.html

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Personas, prompt engineering, and Pesach

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Wed, 22 May 2024 17:34:00 +0000

Image of 4 silhouettes generated by Copilot with Art Deco filter added

Today is Pesach II, which made me think of this connection.

People who work in marketing are familiar with the persona approach to targeted messaging. Personas are now also invoked in fine-tuning responses when crafting prompts for generative AI like ChatGPT. So the world of tech has finally caught on to what Chazal understood long ago when composing the text of the Haggadah.

As you recall from a month ago, we don't only have 4 cups of wine and 4 questions of "Ma nishtana," we also have 4 sons who each have their own approach to the question we wish to elicit about the seder. Thes 4 archetypes are the forerunners of personas that are taken into account in crafting tailored messaging.

Because one size does not fit all for education, you don't answer the chacham the same way you answer the rasha, and the tam also gets a different response from the one who doesn't know how to ask. In fact, the last one needs to be given information even without asking for it.

Let's get a bit meta here and look at the qualitative difference between the question of the wise sone and that of the simple one. The simple one basically asks "What's this?" while the wise one breaks things down to their individual components of edus, chukim, mishpatim. This type of detailed question is what is meant by the expression she'elat chacham chatzi tshuva hu [The question of a wise person is half the answer]. Getting things formulated and organized to zero in on the crux of the issue means the person is clearly focused on the problem and already working his way toward a solution.

What's the connection between the wise son and prompt engineering?

There are actually two key connections here. One is that you can feed personas into generative AI to get more tailored answers. I haven't tested this out myself, but some put in a qualification for a person or even a well known name to set a standard for knowledge and approach in a response.

I rather doubt you can ask it how would you as R' Chaim understand this Gemara, nor do I think that you can get Ogilvy quality marketing concepts just by telling it, "You're David Ogilvy and will give me an original slogan for this brand." But that's a game that some recommend to try to point the generative AI in a particular direction.

Now the second point of connection here is another form of prompt direction to try to obtain more detailed answers, and that is doing exactly what the wise son does in formulating his question. You don't just ask a general question but include directions to break things down.

In the jargon of prompt engineering there are two levels to this. One is called Chain-of-Thought (CoT). It solicits a step-by-step thinking process from the LLM, typically by saying something like "Let's take this step-by-step" to get better results than the simple question that is called naive/standard/Input-Output prompting. Even better than that is what is called Tree-of-Thought (ToT), which allows for more shifts in direction than a straight step-by-step, as it can move laterally, diagonally, and even backwards to track thoughts.

I would suggest that the wise son's classification in his question allows for the ToT approach in thinking things through on the level of when, what, how, and why, which fits perfectly with the answer he gets that is meant to be the final halacha for the seder.

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Ready or not: Pesach bah

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 19:53:00 +0000

If -- like me -- you're home for Pesach, you can find some recipe inspiration here:pesach-desserts and here what's cooking

From Princess to Queen: Sarah to Esther

noreply@blogger.com (Ariella's blog) — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 23:15:00 +0000

The title of this blog should have made you think of the Midrash that ties these two women of Tanach together: Bereshit Rabbah 58:3:

רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא הָיָה יוֹשֵׁב וְדוֹרֵשׁ וְהַצִּבּוּר מִתְנַמְנֵם בִּקֵּשׁ לְעוֹרְרָן אָמַר מָה רָאֲתָה אֶסְתֵּר שֶׁתִּמְלֹךְ עַל שֶׁבַע וְעֶשְׂרִים וּמֵאָה מְדִינָה, אֶלָּא תָּבוֹא אֶסְתֵּר שֶׁהָיְתָה בַּת בִּתָּהּ שֶׁל שָׂרָה שֶׁחָיְתָה מֵאָה וְעֶשְׂרִים וָשֶׁבַע וְתִמְלֹךְ עַל מֵאָה וְעֶשְׂרִים וְשֶׁבַע מְדִינוֹת.

Rabbi Akiva was once sitting and lecturing. When his audience began to doze off, he sought to rouse them and said: ‘Why was Esther seen fit to reign over one hundred and twenty-seven provinces? The explanation is: Let Esther, who was a descendant of Sarah, who lived one hundred and twenty-seven years, come and reign over one hundred and twenty-seven provinces.’

The usual way this is taught is that Rabbi Akiva wanted to impress on his sleepy students how precious every moment of life is: Sarah used all her 127 years well, and so laid the groundwork for her descendant, Esther, to get to rule over a province for each year. The message was not to sleep through opportunities to make the most of your time on earth.

A princess and a queen

I'd like to take a different approach here that finds more in common between the two than the number 127. Let's start with what's referenced in the title. Sarah's name was changed from Saray, transforming the meaning from the more limited "my princess" to "princess" in general. Her descendant became Queen Esther who was not a queen just for her people but of the entire Persian empire.

The two women were also brought into the palaces of a king who wanted them for their beauty alone and didn't appreciate what they were about. In Sarah's case, it happened twice. Both times Avraham told his wife not to reveal who she really was so that she could pass as his sister.

On both occasions, a miraculous intervention protected her from being touched by the king. That Esther who was also a tzadekes did not get that kind of protections made it clear to Mordechai that this situation must have a higher purpose that only came to light years later when he instructed her to take the risk of approaching the king to thwart Haman's decree.

Likewise, as Rashi note on 3:7, according to the Midrash, Esther was married to Mordechai, though that relationship was kept secret when she was taken to Achashverosh. She also listened to his instruction to remain silent about her identity and then to take a 180 degree turn from her survival tactic in the fifth chapter of the Megillah.

She who must be obeyed

And that is when Esther truly came into her own a queen I would say that it is also where she most clearly channels Sarah. in 5:15 we see her for the first time tell Mordechai what to do and what to order the Jews to do, too. Mordechai obeys her, 5:17:

וַֽיַּֽעֲבֹ֖ר מָרְדָּכָ֑י וַיַּ֕עַשׂ כְּכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־צִוְּתָ֥ה עָלָ֖יו אֶסְתֵּֽר

Mordecai passed and did according to all that Esther had commanded him.

Side note: you see the contrast between Mordechai and Achashverosh here. When Vashti refused to obey the summons to appear at the king's party, Achashverosh couldn't deal with the affront to his authority. That's why it wasn't enough for him to toss Vashti; his advisors picked up on the king's feeling of insecurity and recommended that he decree that all women must obey their husbands.

That is what led to the first series of letters to go out in the Megillah 1:22: וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח סְפָרִים֙ אֶל־כָּל־מְדִינ֣וֹת הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ אֶל־מְדִינָ֤ה וּמְדִינָה֙ כִּכְתָבָ֔הּ וְאֶל־עַ֥ם וָעָ֖ם כִּלְשׁוֹנ֑וֹ לִֽהְי֤וֹת כָּל־אִישׁ֙ שֹׂרֵ֣ר בְּבֵית֔וֹ וּמְדַבֵּ֖ר כִּלְשׁ֥וֹן עַמּֽוֹ And he sent letters to all the king's provinces, to every province according to its script, and to every nationality according to its language, that every man dominate in his household and speak according to the language of his nationality.

That form of patriarchy has not been the Jewish tradition. We see that going all the way back to the first Matriarch, Sarah. She spoke up and told Avraham what to do when she wanted him to take on Hagar and then when she wanted Hagar and Yishmael expelled. Even though the famously kind and hospitable Avraham was troubled by the apparent cruelty of throwing out his son along with Hamthat, Hashem told him to listen to his wife.

Chazal observed that Sarah wasn't just speaking out of her own emotional response. She was clear-sighted and even had superior prophetic vision than her husband had. (See Rashi on Bereishis 21:12) And Esther merited that, too. Rashi quotes Chazal (Megillah 15a)say about 6:1 וַתִּלְבַּ֤שׁ אֶסְתֵּר֙ מַלְכ֔וּת that Esther' donning royal garments here mean that she had ruach hakodesh Divine inspiration. Indeed, Esther ranks among the prophetesses of Tanach.

Misplaced mercy results in cruelty

Like Sarah, Esther wasn't just following her instincts but tuned into her unique mission in assuring the survival of Am Yisrael. Sometimes that calls for what may appear cruel. Sarah knew that, and Esther knew it, too. She also knew that part of her mission was fixing the error of the first king of Israel who lost a kingdom* for trying to be kinder than G-d and sparing the Amalekite animals and Aggag. As a result, Shaul demonstrated Chazal's warning that those who are kind to the cruel will be cruel to the kind when he massacred Nov, the city of kohanim.

Generations later, there arose a new manifestation of Amalek in Haman the Aggag. And in the Purim story, it took a queen to rectify the first king's fatal error. She doesn't only call for Haman's death, she demands the right for Jews to stand up against every single person who wanted to participate in the genocidal plot. That turns out to be 75,000 across the provinces plus 800 in Shushan on top of Haman's 10 sons.

Notice that even though 500 were killed in Shushan on the 13th of Adar, Esther asked for an additional day to kill the remaining 300 who had eluded the Jews that day. It seems so at odds with what you'd expect. Weren't the Jews already safe? Why did they need to extend the time of fighting?

They extended the fighting because leaving the rot of those who were gleeful at the opportunity to massacre the Jews meant they remained in danger, hidden though it may be -- like when a fire travels behind the walls of a house. Consequently, there could be no ceasefire until they were certain that all the evil had been rooted out. Misplaced mercy toward the guilty results in cruelty toward the truly innocent. That was a truth that Sarah grasped with her clarity of vision and one that Esther also upheld.

*On Shabbos, it struck me when I heard the Haftorah For Parashat Zachor that the words Shmuel uses in telling Sahul that he has lost the kingship that will be transferred to someone who is better than he - 15:28 וּנְתָנָ֕הּ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ הַטּ֥וֹב מִמֶּֽךָּוּ are echoed in the Megillah's account of Vashti's losing her position f queen that will be taken up by Esther 1:19: וּמַלְכוּתָהּ֙ יִתֵּ֣ן הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ לִרְעוּתָ֖הּ הַטּוֹבָ֥ה מִמֶּֽנָּה.

Seeing The light

Yet Jews still persist in committing the error of Shaul again and again. They want to appear enlightened and kind and so end up being benighted and cruel, enabling those who seek to wipe out the Jews to gain leverage and cause untold harm. The only counter to that is to accept the leadership of someone with the clarity of Esther.

Forget about how it doesn't look good to throw out a feverish teen who threatened your son's life or how it seems so nice to extend clemency to your enemy. That's not the story of Purim or of Jewish survival that is predicated on unity and moral compass directed by Torah -- the orah [light] that the Jews experienced at the time of the Purim story -- rather than what's in fashion in politics.

Speaking of that, you must see this video:

If we accept that and come together as this nonfrum but proud Jew said he intends to do for Shabbos Parshas Zachor.

We had a Yom Tov that was turned into a time of eivel and we now need to turn that around. We should all merit the geula we need now and again experience לַיְּהוּדִ֕ים הָֽיְתָ֥ה אוֹרָ֖ה וְשִׂמְחָ֑ה וְשָׂשׂ֖ן וִיקָֽר The Jews had light and joy, and gladness and honor.

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2024/03/the-merit-of-marbin-besimcha.html

https://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2023/03/shabbos-parshas-zachor-and-purim.html

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