Asterix

Home Change!!!

2006-02-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

This is gonna be the second time now when I'm shifting my base to a new place.
The first time I did so because my beloved blogger identity had got associated with the one in the real world, which was not acceptable to me then.
This time, I'm moving to the new place which is entirely mine, and can't exist without shouting it all out about myself.

Whatever!

This new place signifies the url which I longed to get. May I get solace to myself here.

Adios!

- Asterix!

Assorted Thots and Remembering a Nice (for me) Incidence!

2006-02-05T16:17:00.000-08:00

2:37am - Well .. I guess, right after scribbling the previous post, saying that I'm in a full flow of putting my two pences into words, I suffered a writer's block. Anyhow, a 15 day break is any day better than the last one which lasted abt a year ... Lol.

3:15am - Today/tonite my situation is similar to any previous typical day in my IIT years when I had to make a submission on the next day, and like all engineers do - study/complete the assignment on the last day/nite - I've been working since the sunday afty in office till now (add to it - listen to the favs of my music). I guess, the next break to me will be available to me only by today evening. The code is running on the server behind this window, which is the result of my past 12 continuous hours of office TP.

4:20am - Thinking back, from since the day when I'd put up the last post, I've seen two very good movies (the frequency of their release couldn't be any better) - Zinda and Rang De Basanti. Although in public opinion, RDB has gained much more popularity, I'd anyday vouch for Zinda too. Had an option of going to watch "The Chronicles of Narnia" too today, but for the work in office.

4:58am - The code is still running ... and since I'm a l'il off playing basketball now, have to sit and listen to the music, and wait till the today dataset compilation takes place.

As for the past two Saturday evenings, had absolutely tempting options to travel and enjoy (in short - do TP) ... To go to Ahmdbd on 27th-29th Jan, to IIMA Chaos'06 and to go for the Bryan Adams' show on this one. But apparently I missed both (else my post would've had started with the notes on them). Can't forget the last Bryan Adams' show I attended, back in 2003 in Delhi. Till today, my dear friend misses no chance of getting my a** kicked from people arnd me.

5:39am - May be the Bryan Adams' story will have to wait. As the present condition is, I've successfully run the code, but now the need of the hour is - I need to make similar codes and run them to merge enormous datasets by today office-hours. So may be the post shall have to end here.

Yeh tha ... meri stithi ka aakhon dekha haal (apologies to the non-hindi speaking ppl) .... Aaage ke haalaat ke baare mein aapko report aate hi suchit kiya jaayega ... Tab tak ke liye Namashkar !
(Hope u can imagine my condition ... Lol)

- Asterix.

But it rained ...!

2006-01-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

For the past few days, I feel liking writing ... and writing about just anything ... and writing more ... and to keep writing. But I guess that should be just a phase for me. And meanwhile, listening to music has again become something that i've started to enjoy.
(For the uninitiated, from since I've joined my a organization (refer to the last post), I again get to hear music on my comp while working).

Just a couple of days back, I heard this song, by Parikrama, again after a long time. The music is awesome, the way it catches up the main-stream is cool ... and the chord it touches throughout the song, is the same which is there in a few songs, which just touches your heart. Though I believe there's something they definitely could've done better on ... the lyrics. I find them extremely unimpressive and pessimistic here. I've met them personally, have been to infinite no. of their concerts, acknowledge the fact that they're one of the few Indian bands which have a tremendous potential to make it real big in the world market ... but only if they improve upon on the substance somewhere.

Below is the link to download it ... and the lyrics too.

http://www.parikrama.com/bir/song.html

Wrapped in a polythene, tucked away safe in my mind
a little goodbye, maybe, or just a passing smile

The birds fly away to the sky still searching for home
a bunch o' paper flowers, or a little child left all alone
Can somebody hear me, I'm screaming from so far away
morning who'll calm you, the evening's eclipsed again

*Well does life get any better
more yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tommorow
But it rained...

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life
it's been so long, so long a time but still I miss Daddy at night
The ache is long gone but the never keeps staring at me
the waters in the seas are high, and all the sand castles have drowned

*Well does life get any better
more yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tommorow
But it rained...

- Asterix.

Analytics - The Upcoming Buzz Word in India

2006-01-12T11:35:00.000-08:00

Although from the topic of the post, it would look like the post is on a very serious matter and is absolutely derailed from the purpose behind writing this blog, but seriously speaking ... I find that this's juuuusssst the right time to write on this industry when I've entered this domain recently.

Till now, as I perceived, it'd been a niche class of business, where only the people from the ISIs (Oh no, not that one ... I mean - The Indian Statistical Institutes) would land up to run few regressions/ formulate complex mathematical equations to build up a couple of captivating "What-if Models" to present to few clients in India, who were at all concerned about how to cut their marketing costs, increase their conversion-success rate on the target customer base, identify and single-out the risky propositions and the existing relationships, and what not!

But now it seems that by making a decision of getting into this sector, I was "Just-in-Time". The day I’d decided that I wanted to quit my previous organization and move on, I did a 20-days extensive research on where did my future lie / where could I get promising returns to my inputs in any co. Once I'd zeroed-in to get into Analytics, I applied to 4 cos., got 4 calls for interviews, appeared for 3 of those interviews, got 3 offers, chose to negotiate between 2 of them, and finally decided to accept the one where I'm currently placed now.

This place absolutely seems unbelievable. At one instance, you see a plethora of people from IIMs, IITs and ISIs, working on their comps with not even a single raw expression on their faces for hours, and on another instance, the same people are abso-bloody-lutely chilled out, either all gathered around someone playing a guitar in the office and accompanying him in singing the song, or someone's playing basketball/football/cricket in the gallery in the office, or you might find people chatting over yahoo/msn/skype messengers, or may be if that's not enough, you may find them playing online intranet games like pool. The place is absolutely like a dream house. And to add to it, it's growing at more than 200%. Compensation structures in this sector are truly astonishing, promising a tremendous growth in the same over the years.

The analytics companies act as the think-tank of every organization which has got data on their IT systems of their past behaviours but doesn't know what to do with it. The people here apply their knowledge of pure/applied mathematics and business dimension to provide consultancy services to them. Irrespective of these technical know-hows, one thing that's truly required here is aptitude and common-sense, and like I always say, Common sense is not so common.

This industry is growing many folds every month, making every other sector-special firm (the clientele) to realize the importance of its existence. I wish I had the exact data to testify my statement. Nevertheless, the statistics can be found in yesterday's Mumbai ET and Business Times, which had a huge article on my organization. The analytics sector in India will be worth a research in few months, and I hope to continue being a proud analyst in this field :-)

- Asterix.

The Eyes speak a Thousand Words

2006-01-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

Right now i'm sitting watching 15 Park Avenue, and something abt the actor Konkana makes me like her immensely.

That feature has been something which also made me like d girls i'd liked the most in my life - the eyes tht speak. Her eyes speak what is in d heart, d way the eyes laugh when she does, the way they spell it all out wht u'r feeling at heart. Dunno but i guess the eyes solely are enough to play a major role to make me fall for someone.

Now tht d intermission is over, i'm back to d movie.

D movie's amazing, and so is Konkana.
(I guess all Sharmas rule d world ... lol)

- Asterix.

My Atom feed is up and running!!

2006-01-10T11:00:00.000-08:00

Finally, after ignoring this new tech. for almost about an year, I've adopted this and applied it to my own blog now :-)

I've been seeing ppl putting a xml link on their sites for past 1 year now ... Everyone was getting bitten by this new-found craze. Unknown to this concept and under the pretext of being too busy to explore it, I'd been fultoo ignoring it, till I saw my flatmate's co. running largely on the RSS reader.

So, here it is -
Atom : http://sangeet.blogspot.com/atom.xml
RSS : http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/fBYn :-)

Use it people, as this place has become hot-n-happening now .. Lol.

- Asterix

The Ongoing New Life ... !

2006-01-09T06:07:00.000-08:00

Long time since I made any post .... was actually caught up with the fast changes in my life.
New job, new knowledge in a new sector, new people, new flat, new location, new flatmates, new habits, new mode of transport, new kinda freedom .... everything was so new and to get over the feeling of losing a bit of old stuff ... I took my own time.

Have been trying to wind-up the previous stuff and connections and link with the new one ... let's see how long it takes ...

- Asterix.

My new Nokia :-)

2005-12-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

After a well-spent time on research and longing, I finally own this now :-)

- Asterix

My Breakup destined for today, postponed till next Thursday!!!

2005-11-29T10:11:00.000-08:00

This is in continuation to my previous post that you can read after reading this one.

Now, this is one of those few things that I particularly hate. When you've to finish off something, or that you've decided to be off of something, then just let it be naa! Why f**k around and delay it~! That's what has exactly happened today. Today was my ultimatum-date to sit and talk the things out and accept the goodbye wishes from me. But it seems, "Abhi tak mujh se dil nahi bhara hai!!"

Anyhow, I can atleast be content 'coz of one thing - we had a talk ... rather we had a good long talk ... or rather, we had a hot discussion over when can I be set free! Atleast we reached over a final date - It's the next thursday when I call it quits to get along with anyone else I wish, that I've already chosen for myself. Sometimes, you've to just move on in life !

- Asterix!

Tuesday, we break up ... !

2005-11-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

Yes ... and we break up for good .... !

It's been a while since we'd been in a relationship, which blossomed like none other.
I did all that I could to make it the most satisfactory for both of us.

As someone once rightly said, "All good things come to an end" - I knew that this would too live a limited life ... I wanted its memories to last the life time. But, "Honie ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha"!

I tried to be sincere on my part ... routed all my priorities towards her ... Left every other work just to be with her whenever I could ... Although it wasn't my agenda to carry-on on Saturdays, still for the sake of nurturing the mutual feelings between us, I spent most of my weekends with her too ... 80-90% of my phonebills would be for her ... , but alas!

For past couple of months, it'd become difficult for me to compromise on my basic definition of my existence, for the sake of satiating her ... It was getting dirty ... I wasn't really getting that I'd dreamt of getting when I first fell for her ... Tht was that ... I gave up and called it quits on the 18th of this month ... For 2 days, there was an abominable lull ... I got a call on 21st morning, pleading for explanation ... I did ... with a very decisive manner stated that it was all over and I wanted to be single again .. !!!

So it's decided now ... It's this Tuesday that we're finally meeting up to talk it over ... Tuesday, we breakup for good ... and then I'll be single again!

Though I'll have to get back to her once more for collecting my final cheque ... After all, this was my first job ... and now that I've called it quits, Tuesday should be my last day with this organization.

- Asterix.

Arbit Thots!

2005-11-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

IBM Laptop
FMS form
CAT
Job in analytics / consulting / equity research / i-banks' analytics
Sudarshan's advices
Insurance consulting
Jogging every morning
Eco-times every morning
Demat-investing
Risk inspection reports
Derivatives exam
FRM
SPIC Website team, site layout change
Top B-schools, prep.material - Call Goli
Date for GMAT in mid-jan
Learn SAP
Harry Potter V, The Alchemist, The Hungry Tide
Goto Delhi - near home
Database of IITians' companies
PanIIT mail to organizers
Blog - Love for G, Abt my home, Abt why I left blogging for sometime
Rebuild contact with ppl in mail or phonebook
Buy a cell - Nokia or Sony for 12-15000
Change flat or buy a table

I guess that should form a part-n-parcel of my life for next few days/months.

After a long time, I feel li'l (very l'il, but yes) satisfied on having thought of the things that require a bit of prioritizing on my part. Spent a good 1 hour of my daytime sitting on the beach and think about "just myself" :-)
Now that I atleast know what all do I want, I should now get to prioritize and work upon them before it gets too late (On the back of my mind, I always feel that it already IS too late :-)

Wish me luck, ppl :-)

- Asterix!

Katna Zindagi ka Niyam Hai !!! - 2

2005-11-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

Some people might feel that I feel proud to put such things before others to make myself sound hilarious, but believe me, I have no intentions to do so. I can rather put a disclaimer saying - "Mere saath aisa kyon hota hai! :-( "
At this someone might argue ki uske saath bhi aisa hi kuch hua ... so I should rather refine this as - "Mere saath aisa hi kyon hota hai! :-( "

Few days back one was such day, when I was considering myself an "enlightened" person (amongst several others, ofcourse) who knew that GoAir will give away 10,000 of its free tickets to anyone who mmanages to book them in time after 3:30pm. At the same time, I was considering myself an "enlightened and lucky" person, who had no major work to do in the office, and hence could give my full time, passion and concentration to do the bookings :-)

So came the day, and the time when the bookings were made open and, Wow! I was busy with my favorite passtime - TP (For the uninitiated, TP=TimePass, an invaluable work of art). I generally heard some people shouting in muffled shouts - "Jaldi! Jaldi! ... Oh Shit! ... Oh F***! Abhi ho jaata ... etc.etc."
Out of my perennial curiosity, I walked over to their desk to get an insight of what was happening.

[To support the term - Perennial Curiosity, I should tell u that my roommate during my IIT years was so bugged with my unending questions that every morning when I'd see my face, I could see a deep 'n' dark "Question Mark" made by the roommate ... on my forehead!]

Getting back to the "Jaldi, Jaldi"&"Oh F***!", understanding the commotion there, I ran back to my desk, restarted my laptop (Poor baby! Had gone into hibernation as it was left grossly ignored and unattended for sometime, owing to my TP habits) ... went to http://www.goair.in/ and tried bookings for several sectors -
Mumbai - Goa - Mumbai
Mumbai - Ahmedabad - Mumbai
for several dates

I suppose since the server was being mauled by several thousands (may be lakhs) of Indian who wanted to accomplish their dreams of travelling in an aircraft (just as they show in the AirDeccan ad), it was showing the message "SERVICE UNAVAILABLE" again-n-again.
With my dream of travelling from Mumbai-Ahmedabad and back during Chaos time (IIMA cult.fest), I was fighting against the server to let me get the bookings done for 20-22nd Jan,2006. Again-n-again, I had to choose from amongst the Goa, Ahmedabad and Coimbatore Sectors from Mumbai and back.

And BOOM!!!!

It was done :-) I filled in my credit card info and I had the tickets for 20-22nd Jan!!! :-)
Yessss!!! I finally had the tickets! The printouts ... Actually, TWO printouts, to save from misplacing the first ones! Saving the webpage to be extra secure :-)
Done!!!

And I repeat, with the feelings coming right from the core of my heart -
"Mere saath aisa hi kyon hota hai! :-( "

A look at the print-outs said -
Fri 20-Jan-06, Depart Mumbai(BOM) 13 : 30 Hrs - Arrive Goa(GOI) 14 : 30 Hrs
Sun 22-Jan-06, Depart Coimbatore(CJB) 22 : 35 Hrs - Arrive Mumbai(BOM) 00 : 20 Hrs

In tickets ka ab main kya achaaar daalun??????
Agar Mumbai-Coimbatore and Coimbatore-Mumbai bhi ho gya hota, tab bhi main generally TP ke liye 1 weekend wahan ghumne nikal jaata.
Aur mere Chaos ka sapna???? :-((

"Mere saath aisa hi kyon hota hai! :-( "

- Asterix!

Katna Zindagi ka Niyam Hai !!!

2005-10-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you really feel like hitting someone hard over the things that happen with you. But when such things happen with you almost everyday, then?
Then let me tell you what I do ... Forget all expressions like, "Arey! Yeh kya ho gya?", etc. and just give a dumb giggle/smile over what happened with you!

When I was going to Ahmedabad in Gujarat mail, there was one very cute girl in the compartment next to me ... Most of my time since the beginning of the journey was spent to arrange for a berth for my flatmate (who was also travelling with me on a waiting ticket, mine was confirmed), so I couldn't do much .... I thought of getting to her in the morning but alas i woke up when almost everyone had alighted from the train. And to add to that, her baapu had come to get her on the station. So much for getting to know her!!!

Tht nite when I went to NID (a college in Ahmedabad) for garba, I saw her there. And people believe me, all gujju girls look AWESOME (with a big A) wearing chaniya-cholis during Navratris. For fear of being censored from the group, I prefer to not describe her further on. Asked my friend if she knew her ... my friend said, "Kyon, milna hai? Chal,milwati hoon."

(Whosoever said that friends are angels in disguise was the wisest person on earth)

There we meet - "Lo, is se milo, yeh hai Ujala, and Ujala! yeh mera friend Asterix (name changed to preserve anonymity)"!

Kisi wise guy ne yeh bhi kaha hai, ek sunder stri insaan ki buddhi brahst kar deti hai. Immediately came my reaction, "Kya! Chaar bundon waala?" And there I gave a dumb giggle.

Everyone arnd us started laughing, and she gave an embarrassed smile. Tab mujhe laga abhi dharti phat kyon nahi gyi ki main usme sama jaaun, ya mere is joke par indra dev khush hokar baarish kyon nahi kar dete ki sab bhaag jaayen and main bhi kahin chup jaaun!!!! Kabhi mujhe apne Ahmedabad aane par dukh ho rha tha to kabhi soch rha tha ki kaash waiting ka ticket confirm hi nahi hua hota!!!!!

She lasted with us for 5-10 mins, then went somewhere to never come back. I guess woh 5-10 bhi plan bana rahi thi ki kaise bhagun yahan se.

Mere saath aisa hi kyon hota hai !!!

- Asterix!

Website Ahoy!!!

2005-10-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

Finally .... aaj mera swapn purn hone jaa rha hai :-)

I always dreamt of having my own website ... rather ... a website on my own name.
After months of deciding upon my priorities, I'm finally going to have one :-)
For the people who know me, it's gonna be http://www.namesurname.com/ :-) .... Not so far away in time, I shall have my email address as - mail@namesurname.com (or for that matter, {anything}@namesurname.com :D/
[Though, I already have my email address as - namesurname@name.com :-) ... Enuf of boasting, dude!!! ]

On other thoughts, I really wonder what's happening in this world? For past 2-3 weeks, almost every girl seems to be asking me if I have a gf. Though that could have been a thought worth cherishing, but the sad part remains that though I don't have one now, I don't have any interest in the women who asked me out all these days.
:-(

Kher ... I guess, Mera Number bhi Aayega :-D

- Asterix!

Four treats in a day :-)

2005-10-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yo!!!
Quite an eventful day :-)
Got up at 12 noon ... Sorry! Was actually kicked by the flatmate to getup. Immediately got a call from a friend RR to come over to Fun Republic Theatre, Andheri(W) with a 3rd guy.
Now, now! Someone's giving a treat and I'm not there??? Aisa to nahi hota hai naa :-)
So, had quite a filling lunch at Kalinga, Andheri(W).
Occasion - 3rd guy is about to get a job ... Lol.

Anyhow, I somehow coaxed him to complete the treat by showing us a movie at a theatre. After some real fighting-against-the-time tactic of calling up several theatres for the schedules, finally watched "Monster in Law". (Quite a nice movie)
Occasion - 3rd guy is about to get a job, so he's supposed to finance the treat ... Lol.

Meanwhile when we had some spare time for the movie, it was time for some desserts .... So had some nice plate full of ice-cream.
Occasion - 3rd guy is about to get a job, and since he's financing the treat, he should give it fully... Lol.

By the end of the movie, this 3rd guy had already spent a bomb, so we both got on one side to ask for a treat from RR. In return, a double layered aloo-parantha at Only Paranthas, Malad :-)
Occasion - 3rd guy is about to get a job, and since he's financed the treat till the movie, RR should also give something in return ... Lol.

Sometimes I really wonder, why are Delhi people known to be Kamina ;-)

- Asterix!

Asterix returns!

2005-10-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

Here I am ... !
This is me ... !!
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be ... !!!

About 3 years back from now, I'd started sharing the scattered pieces of my mind in this virtual world. At times, I was happy at sharing them finally with someone, at times learnt from them when I read them again after a couple of days, at times people found the ideas too wild, at times some were jealous of how much I travelled or enjoyed life, at times I was hurt and this was the only place where I could write my daily-diary and be pacified, intially anonymous but later read by few close friends of mine, this place became a junction where people could come and get to know my true-self.

But that was when I was living a life of a student where I'd write my blog at 3-4am everynight. Then one fine day I passed out ... and I changed. And I changed BIG TIME. Everything in my life changed - The way I looked at people, I understood them, the way I was looked by the people, the places I went, the new people I met and befriended, the life strained with some old friends, the work pressure took over, and this Asterix adopted to the new life style, forgetting the older charming one.

After this loooong hiatus, the idea again is to become the old self in some respects. Some changes might come for good, some will be volunteerily rejected.
For a year and more, life had chosen a route on which I was walking. Now I'll choose the route on which the life will follow me.

Keep reading ... Adieu.

- Asterix!

"Katna Zindagi Ka Niyam Hai ... "

2004-09-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

Finally, I've got sometime to sit and put together my piece of mind at one place.

After loooong I guess, (with special reference to Pi) I'm putting something other than "mooning over girls in my life" ... lol
And the reason is the the title of this post itself - Really BIG time kat gaya (I got screwed up) :-( ... And tht always happens with me on 16-Sep of every year (Waise to roz hi hota hai ... but if I go on stating everything:
1) I'll have to fill the whole webpage everyday.
2) All I'll do in office is state the accounts of "katna"
3) U'll think I'm jinxed ... HeHehe

Whatever!

The sequence of events is as follows:

Heyyyy ... By the way ... I must clarify this before anyone makes any prejudices - I'm not what I'll be portrayed at the end of the post ... Seriously!

8:54am - Caught a fast train from Andheri Local Station (Mumbai) to go to Mumbai Central for office.
9:25am - Reached Mumbai Central and got down on Platform No. 3 Agenda ahead - To catch a slow train from Platform No.1 to go in opposite direction to my office in Mahalaxmi Station
9:27am - Crossed tracks no 3 and 2 to climb on Platform no 1
9:28am - A guy comes to me, put his arm on my shoulder - says - "Chalo beta ... Patri paar kar rahe the naa?"
9:29am - Before I realise the gravity of the situation, I have 2 ppl on both the sides each, escorting me somewhere.
[I shouldn't forget to mention here that I'd realised that I'll be fined for crossing the railway lines, but dunno why do I wish to go along with new experiments - Thot, rather than offering 100-200 bucks as bribe to the guy, I should go along with him to see what happens next if you're caught this way :-( .. So much for the experience! ]
9:40am - I'm made to sit in their office with 9 other guys, 2 are below 18years of age, so they're left unattended.
9:50am - A guy in police uniform enters in "our" room, and starts filling in "chargesheets" ... [Yes! I'm a registered criminal now :-( ]
10:20am - We all have been registered in police records. The agenda ahead - To take us to the magistrate who'll fine us :-(
10:30am - We all are made to stand in a line - handcuffs put on our hands, in a way tht we all are linked as a line.
10:40am-11:20am - Our "group" is walked over the Mumbai Central Local Platforms, overbridges, Mumbai Central Railway Station and the road outside, till we reach the court.
11:20am - The ordeal is still not over. The magistrate is late today. He'll come at 12:30pm. So we all are made to take off our shoes, socks, bags, switch off the cell phones and quietly put behind the bars in lockup.
11:40am - I callup my friend to gimme some 500 odd bucks so that I can pay the fine rather than being put in jail :-
12:00noon - The friend comes from office, lends me the money, and runs away just to make sure tht he's not caught helping me in any regards.
12:40pm - The magistrate finally arrives.
12:50pm - The "Dadar group" is taken before the magistrate first.
[Tht was so very unfair as "our group" had come first ... hehe .. so much for being funny right now! ]
1:10pm - I'm brought before the judge.
Now, I must point out that this was my first time tht I'd been loosing the virginity of my criminal life :D ... So had expected the judge to ask me how was I doing in Bbay, or how did I find the city, or atleast how was I feeling at that very moment? But tht mean guy didnot talk to me anything else other than this:

Judge - Naam?
Me - "Said the name, expecting for more, and interactive questions"
Judge - Baap ka naam?
Me - "Said the name, expecting some better than this useless question"
Judge - Kabool hai?
Me - "Haan!" [Expecting tht he'd atleast now ask me something better :D]
Judge - 300 rupaye!

Tht's tht!:-(

1:30pm - Came out to pay the fine in a small room, and was back to the office in about half an hour!
----------------------------
Now look, I, by no means, should be pictured as a registered criminal, which I've become now against my wishes.May my sweet innocent life rest in peace :-(

P.S. I've had enough "getting f**ked up" incidences other than this too, after 16-Sep, but I guess, this should be enuf for few days to come :-

My current piece of mind!

2004-08-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

This phrase sometimes hits me right in the center of my heart. I guess that's what I've been doing for past couple of years in my life.
I fairly remember when I was in class 11th, preparing for IIT-JEE ... my bhaiya was once sick and my mom asked me to get medicine for him from the closeby market. I rudely escaped the 15 min work on the pretext that I'd be late for my class. To think about it now, I really wonder how indifferent I was to just anyone's feelings, even of my bhaiya!!!

And to think of the situation now, I've become indifferent to my own discomfort at most of the times when the people I "care" for are concerned. HeHe ... even putting the word "care" in quotes is very subjective in my life, because I, with my head shamelessly erect, confess that I do not know who all do I care for, and for that matter ... what does "care" actually mean!

Day before yesterday I was actually planning to make a list of the ppl who I actually care for ... Lol ... ! No wonder, I slept in the mid-way. But that was kind of an eye-opener. Coz, I guess when the condition is that you've to think whether u care for some person or not, there's no point putting that person in the list of the "cared" ppl.

Someone sometime back had told me ... "When it happens, you don't have to ask if it's that." The context may be a little different, but eventually it shows u a way to take life in a stride, rather than pondering over the same things again and again, and eventually being left with no solution.

Still at this point of time, the thoughts seem to be all mixed up ... and the very idea I'd kept in my mind when I started to putup my piece of mind here seems to be well-lost. All I can think of doing is, being a l'il dependent on my decisions in life. Afterall, there's something called intuition, which shows u the way when you're stuck in a labyrinth with no way out.

Anyways, this brings to my favorite topic of discussion now-a-days ...
Yeah! Yeah! My trips to Ahmedabad ... Lolollol!
I really wonder at times what lies beneath. I really wonder at times, she's one person with whom I don't have to think about anything. Ppl who know both of us talk all non-sensical things. But I guess it's the first time, when I don't give a "DAMN" to what they say. U just "know" when u click with some person. Some trivias make your moves just too swift.
At times, you just don't have to ask the other person, you just "know" what's going on in her mind. At times, you speak the same sentence, with the same words, with the same "namak-mirchi" in it, just at the same time when it's least expected. At times, when u'r going to find her at her place at an odd time, she seems to be coming out at that very moment. At times, her thoughts make you laugh out loud. At times, u crack PJs with her, just to make her laugh. At times, u call her up, just to listen to her laughter. At times, when u irritate her, just to end her un-ending fight against not-giving-up with her bubbly nature. At times, when her getting emotional seems to be one thing of utmost concern to u. And above all ... when u know that u'r not "flat" on her ... [What a rowdy language naa ... lol]

Eventually, when ppl compell me to "think" about her ... the only thot that comes to my mind is - the only desire is - to enjoy that comfort level in the relationship, that she can come to me at any point in life and share her tini-miniest of experiences, that she dosen't have to "think" before coming to talk to me, that most importantly ... she doesn't have to "think" about me ... Lol!

Hufff ... !! Seems easy in saying, but it's a work requiring utmost responsibilities.
And I feel proud in declaring, I don't have to "think" whether I'm responsible enuf :-)

Here I am !

2004-07-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

Here I am ... Back into some posting mode.

I'm actually quite surprised at my own self, to have overcome that "huuuuge activation energy" of resuming my blogging activities.
No wonder, all the feelings which I wantd to give out to someone are getting heavy day-by-day, compelling me to make this post again, after soooo long, that I believe most of my regular visitors would have forgotten that I ever existed in this blogworld. :

In the past few months, from since the day I made my last post, my life has taken a huuuge turn (everything happening in my life now-a-days is huuuuuge :P)

I graduated from IIT Delhi on 15th May ... got all the grades by 19th ... Worked day-n-nite, forgetting my own personal obligations, for my beloved society to act as the national convention coordinator, came over to Mumbai on 31st May ... Coordinated the event from 1st-6th june ... and like a huuuuge turnover, joined with the job here in Mumbai.
Meeting a whole new block of ppl in the convention, and being with them, sharing their dreams, grasping their ideologies, appreciating their points of view ... was like one full life lived. [I can still dream of those days for hours, just that I dont have enuf time for tht :-( ]

Right now, my office hours are from 9:30am - 11pm (sometimes even have to work overnite) ... Saturdays are officially holidays, but have to work all day at times.

For the past two weekends, took out time to go to Ahmedabad for meeting up a new, yet close-to-heart friend, and chiiling out after the heated-up weekdays. Sometimes the surge to share everything u have in the heart rises up so much that you reeeeally want someone close to listen to u ... and may b comment on it. But then again it puts your vulnerability open before the other person, and if that person is of the opposite sex, it simply hampers your relationship.

Dunno y, but I've always believed in one thing ... and may be this might quote it in the best way:

Unless u learn to be ur own emotional anchor,u cannot be one to someone else n someone else cannot be one to u.

This, at times, puts me off from sharing my shattered pieces of mind even from my closest of friends, fearing I might loose them :

Whatever!
This is not a time to get senti ... I'm resuming my blog from today .... Can't promise to myself of the future ... but the best thing is - Let it flow with time ... :

Confused again!

2004-05-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'd loved someone ...
I'd received loads of pain in return ...
I'd been tragically unaccepted with my feelings ...
I'd been devastated ...
I'd say history repeats itself ...

But that's not what's happening with me.
I'm getting what most ppl crave for ...
I'm getting what I'd dreamt for myself ...

But I'm unable to admit that it's happening with me.
Do I really love her?
Or is it just that everyone who knows US, knows that I do and I don't acknowledge it?
How can the relation which only gives happiness, be love?

"Ishq ki aag mein jhulse deewano se pucho ...
Voh ishq kahan jis mein dard nahi, tadapan nahi ... !"

:|

Exams .... !

2004-05-02T02:33:00.000-07:00

Exms starting from tomoro ... and still lots of submission dates lurking ahead!
BTP (B.Tech. Project) report submission in a couple of days too.
Someone had rightly said ... "Bhagwan jab deta hai to chappar phaad kar deta hai."
[I know I'm using this in the wrong context, but who gives a damn right now!]
:|

Meanwhile checkout the links of these blogs:

Gmail .... Yippieiieeee!!!

2004-04-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

This exactly was my reaction when I got the invitation to try out Gmail today :o)
I literally started shouting out like crazy, dancing with extreeeeme joyousness, beating my neighbours' doors (add to it, latching their doors from outside so that they can't even come out to know why I'm doing so :p) ... !

Godddddd!!! I'd been trying like anything for past couple of days to get an account on it, but to no avail.
And Here I am .... with a bright, shinning account on it! \:D/

Please note the Yahoo Messenger link on the top. Does it give you any idea ??? :D

Am I confused or am I not ... !!!

2004-04-25T02:52:00.000-07:00

It's time for me to be a l'il confused now.
[Even the title of this post reads so :o( ]

For the lucky ones who are reading this who haven't read my last but oneth post about my interview with ICICI Lombard Insurance Pvt. Ltd. - "Screwed up!!!", better read it before thinking of reading any further, lest you are shot down by my AK-57.5 :D

The result is unofficially out. I'd called up my acquaintance working there yesterday and he informed out that I'd been selected with 2 other chaps, out of lottts of other guys from my institute who don't have any job as of now.
I really wonder what made those guys to think of me when I'd absobloodylutely killed any chances of my getting through the interview :-?
The detailed breakup of package, job location and job profile will be known by this monday or wednesday.

So, now the question before me is - HPCL or ICICI ??? :-?

[For the uninformed few, I got the job in HPCL long back in the November 2003, reporting being in Pune (My fav.city :-*) on the American Independence Day of this year, that is, when I graduate in a couple of months. ] :o)

Face Value

2004-04-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

The average beauty of The Times of India's today's edition seems to have increased today ... Lol.

Totally chilled out :o)

2004-04-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

Past few days have been pretty relaxing, with lottttt of work to be done and my characteristic procrastinating-traits showing colors in full swing :|

Yesterday I'd gone out for the evening with a friend to PVR Priya when I suddently bumped into Sandhya and Rohit. She had the same perfect sparkle in her eyes as the last time I'd met her in "The Delhi Bloggers' Meet". She was just the perfect same-composed-self. It was really great to see her with Rohit - though I couldn't get to talk to him at all :| Stupid me, I forgot to ask her about Kaavya too :o(
It's always nice to come across any blogger, which happens quite often with me now a days :o)

Day before yesterday nite, I had an extremely personal overnite talk with the guy who perhaps knows the most about me (yeah! not even my parents). The kind of things that actually popped up between us were pretty surprising and am I glad that we discussed all, that were drifting us apart?
Once someone(Thanx A) had told me - "Dude! You're truly blessed to have him as such a close friend of yours."
Although I confess that there've been moments when I took disastrous decisions even on premonitions, but this time (Thank God!) I realised right in time to not let this chance pass. He still stands to be my closest frnd ever :o)
God alone knows how much I always wanted him to be my best frnd, but as per my hard-n-fast rules about "best pals", u need to have this feeling from both the sides without sharing it with anyone else. Poor me! I got late by a couple of years to come in his life. He has his own best friend somewhere else :|
Oh! Whatever!

At this point of time, there's this song, "If tomorrow never comes - Garth Brooks", reverberating in my head, the key lines of which send shivers through my spine:

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes.

I've lost loved ones in my life, who never knew how much I loved them. Now I live with the regret that my true feelings for them never were revealed. So I made a promise to myself to say each day how much she means to me; And avoid that circumstance where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel.

Why's my life's exactly as in the song?