Imagine this!

Just the 2 of us would do

2012-01-17T13:56:00.000Z

Forget China's 1 child policy
Forget family planning,
And lastly please forget about AIDS.

There's too much going on in this world,
That everyone has overlooked the matter which would decide our fate in the coming years.

The population of the world has to be controlled. Hello 7 billion????

Just too many of us draining the resources of mother Earth.
How long can she sustain us in the same greedy, unforgiving manner?

Work stress and inflation is helping delay child bearing in developed countries.
The developing countries are still glee and therefore supplying cheap labour to the rest of the world, thanks to their nocturnal hobby.

I present to you the cure for population control, for a better tomorrow.
Antibiotic resistant TB!

Where are you Dr Evil when I need you most?

Burping

2012-01-17T12:11:00.001Z

As oblivious as you could be to your surroundings,

How on earth could you not come to realise

The fact that burping in public is simply unacceptable

Especially when you could wake a sleeping baby

And it beats the toads croaking hands down!

Serial burpers, the school of etiquette awaits you

Apply here :)

Anything at all?

2012-01-11T15:21:00.000Z

I don't know whether this

Is in fact a problem at all

Or something I should highlight here

In there first place

But here goes

I think I can do anything at all

With enough research and knowledge gathered

No second thoughts

No motivation needed

No prompting

I'll just do it

Like tonight

I think I may have cured an ingrown toenail

Like last November

Where I grew a moustache for charity

Where I went on national TV on a gameshow

What next?

Mount K,yo!

7 years of my life

2012-01-08T15:25:00.002Z

Gone in one hangout session.

Out of a game I love to play

Called, guess my age.

And I was 33 (guess again!)

This has never happened before.

There I was, trying to explain to myself.

Do I look that old?

Hmmph

Diplomacy or being a smart-ass?

2012-01-07T00:39:00.000Z

Stated: Individual X is hard of hearing and might not respond to all your remarks.
Interpreted: Individual X is an obnoxious, self-centre (bleep) that he would not be interested in responding, no matter who you are.

Stated:         You are vertically challenged.
Interpreted: You are short.

Stated:         He is being nice, but she's truthful.
Interpreted: He is a liar, but she's truthful.

Stated:         What goes around, comes around.
Interpreted: Always look on the bright side of life.

Focus babeh!

2011-12-14T12:06:00.000Z

Focus 1: Workout
Short term Schedule: Run every alternate day, and lift weights the whole of December!
Mid term Schedule: Maintain Short term Schedule and add pushups to routine!
Long term Schedule: Be damn fit and participate in Stanchart Run 2012!

Focus 2: Read
Short term Schedule: Read the daily papers!
Mid term Schedule: Read a book every 2 weeks!
Long term Schedule: Reading becomes second nature!

Congrats to one and sorry to the other!

December, december?

2011-12-07T11:42:00.000Z

It's finally here.

The final month of the year

Marks my first anniversary in KL, oh dear

I'm still a kampung boy

Still looking for yuchakuai

And the simple simple stuff in life

Happy December & Happy Holidays!

P.s. I think I need a girlfriend

Growing a Mo!

2011-11-12T05:05:00.000Z

Wondering how to judge a person? Everyone's got their own pointers, but I could share with you how not to judge a person at first sight.

This show called Take Me Out, currently playing on ntv7, shows us the variety of guys out there, and how the ladies go about judging them. Basically the guys are judged in 3 rounds, the first impression, a profile video and a talent round.

What the ladies saw:
This one guy is about himdressing up at home and trying out all sorts of clothes and withi his skincare products and the ilk.

What the ladies concluded:
1. he's metrosexual
2. he's gay
3. he's too full of himself

What actually happenned:
1. It wasn't his house to begin with
2. He likes dressing up, but it's not ALL he does
3. He couldn't shoot elsewhere, i.e. work place due to restrictions by his employers

P.S.
The show is FIXED every Friday 8.30pm! FIXED on ntv7! FIXED for 30th December? (what?)

Support the Mo-ustache and visit http://mobro.co/DeepakG

The privileged few

2011-10-14T16:41:00.000+01:00

If something happened at work, I'd share it with my colleagues and possibly my parents.
A small circle of trusted people would know about my stuff.
The ones who I would want to share this with, and I expect they would want to also, willingly.

When social media comes in, everyone is there listening, peeking, eavesdropping.
Privacy settings tweaked every now and then, till I have personally given up reading the updates where it apparently gives me more control over what I do on the net.
(I don't even know what's out there about me on the net)

The point is, people tend to share everything through social media.
Where they've been,
What they've eaten,
What they'd like to do,
What they dislike.
Among other things.

The privileged few would know almost everything about me.

The social network would know the outer layer.

I, me and myself - (in one word) - Deepak.

*Home- I've missed you!

Chicken Day

2011-09-25T06:50:00.000+01:00

I think chicken has been my favourite meat all along,
It took me a while to realise this.

I use to have chicken on Tuesdays and Fridays when I was at home,
A routine my mom set up as part of our weekly diet.

And from there, I've had chicken rice, chicken feet,
Chicken chop, ayam penyet, KFC and so forth.

Which brings me to what I'm having for lunch today,
Chicken curry and rice. (Prepared by your truly, of course)

I hereby declare the 25th of September as Chicken Day!

Temple wedding

2011-09-02T01:43:00.000+01:00

Attended a wedding ceremony recently at a temple.

The usual routine for me would be,

1.attend ceremony,
2.go for a break,
3.return when the ceremony is almost over,
4.grab some lunch,
5.photo session with the newly-weds and
6.off I go.

The couple seemed rather cheerful after all the rituals were over, affording a warm smile.

As for me, apart from exchanging EPL transfer gossip and diving spots, it was a lazy event.
It was what I found out after which made it intriguing.

A match-maker had his eyes on me?

Hair-lo please

2011-08-21T16:07:00.000+01:00

Ads are meant to provoke a response,
A response to consume
A response to spend
A response that a problem may be solved

But to abandon a loved one due to something completely natural?
Seriously?

I may be bald,
But I'm still the same inside,
Just lighter on this side,
Still the same inside.

I'm gonna be bald someday,
I'm sure of that
Grandfathers' bald? Check!
Father bald? Check!
Me bald in 30 years? Check!

Counting gone wrong...I hope

2011-08-21T01:41:00.000+01:00

Slightly more than a million illegals
Slightly less than a million legals

Immigration dudes
Where have you been?

ACA
Where have you been?

Mr 1 finger
Where have you been?

Me?
I've been busy auditioning babeh!

To me

2011-07-09T07:24:00.001+01:00

Happy birthday to me!

When good news is due

2011-06-30T16:03:00.001+01:00

Off to Shah Alam to run an errand
But before hand let's ask him the question
So is it on?
Is what on?
You know...
I know?
What we saw on the beach...
Beach?
Yea you and her...
Erm...we're just friends
Hush hush...Good luck!

Flow to me, oh tauge chicken!
Flow to me like the river Ganges!
Flow to me like life!
Flow to me like Heineken from a keg!

The frog

2011-06-26T13:29:00.000+01:00

The frog croaks
The frog switches off the internet
The frog brought water
The frog loves moats

I still need to get used to the frog
Call him Kermit?

Off with the nail

2011-06-24T23:59:00.000+01:00

The nail came off
After squeezing into the skin
Causing months of discomfort
The balding man ripped it clean
The turban-clad toe says thank you.

As the dog battles bladder stones
And pees blood,
Op is due soon I hope.

Everything's gonna be alright
Rock-a-bye.

The beach and the shirt

2011-06-21T14:09:00.000+01:00

As I took my t shirt heading towards the sea, I threw it aside Baywatch style.
A few minutes later it was gone. The sea had swallowed it whole as I dipped into the cool sea water.

The stroll by the beach.
The crappy hotel.
The warm beer.

And there was the beach.

May I not be Malay or Chinese or Indian?

2011-06-16T15:24:00.001+01:00

I wrote a letter to The Sun, reacting to a letter regarding Hannah Yeoh's kid's registration problem with the NRD.

This was the letter I wrote.

(Pardon the quality, w890 is not equipped with the "auto-focus" feature)

And this was NRD's response.

(Ignore the grammatical errors, the quality of English in Malaysia puts me off.)

Anyway, back to the point of this post.
Based on the response of the officer, the child's race can either be Indian or Chinese if the parents are such.

The child cries:
Can I be what I really am?
A Malaysian and stop naming me what you want me to be,
Just let me be, what I really am!
My mom is Chinese and my dad is Indian,
And yet, I gotta choose one of them?
I'm half and half,
I'll always be half and half.
To ignore either side,
Would make me incomplete.
The law needs to be changed.
I doubt my neighbour who's mom is Chinese,
And dad is Malay,
Got a choice to make.
She was simply Malay.

Now, now, the law doesn't apply to everyone does it?
Just the ones who're not Malay?

Apekah salahnye kalau kesemuanya dilayan seperti satu?
Itulah sebab utama hamba gelak sinis apabila mendengar konsep 1Malaysia.
Mana kebenarannya?
Setakat menggunakan konsep yang kurang dari original,
Diambil gambar seorang Melayu, seorang India and seorang Cina,
Dan ketiganya bergurau senda?

Hello? Gambarnya menarik di poster,
Realitinya, jauh berbeza.
Dukanya, menggunakan konsep itu semata-mata nama politik,
Tapi perbuatan-Nya yang lain, semua anti-1Malaysia.

I love my country, but we need nationalists to keep us united, not opportunists.

Adsense-d

2011-06-09T13:13:00.000+01:00

Adsense came to it's senses
Realising the fake clicks on the ads
And therefore suspending the account

$10.00+ refunded to the advertisers,
Oh well.

That's charity on my part.
Am I assured of a place in heaven now?

6% on Hotlink

2011-06-08T14:19:00.000+01:00

There was 5% as of last year,
Till Mr Gov comes along to raise funds,
Apparently Mr Gov has been leaking on a regular basis,
So it's 6% as of this year.

And what does Mr Hotlink do?
Pass the 6% to the prepaid user,
Take it all, says Mr Hotlink!

Price of bread increasing? Check!
Price of petrol increasing? Check!
Price of electricity increasing? Check!

I'm still alive, and this calls for one thing!

I need a pay raise!!

Ride the bus

2011-06-07T06:19:00.000+01:00

Ride the bus
Avoid the stress
Ghosting past vehicles
Caressing the bumpers

Ride the bus
Move further in
If you see a crowd building

Ride the bus
Give up your seat
For the elderly
For those who need it more than you.

Stop being ignorant,
Too full of yourself,
That you fail to take note of such things.
For there are the others
Who would smile
And be greatful for the insignificant act.

And there is no better feeling than that.
If the others are happy, you'd find your peace.

See no evil,
Listen to no evil,
Speak no evil.
Think no evil

See the good,
Listen to the good
Speak the good.
Think the good.

Is this a crush I'm having?

Germans and Ecoli

2011-06-06T16:09:00.000+01:00

One whole working day,
With the vision being pressed,
I sat there staring at the screen,
Let it be over soon enough or SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At 5.00 pm it ended

And salsa is in the veins.
Swaying to Nicole and the ladies.
Sway my boy or SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I came home,
Some coconut chutney for dinner,
The phones start ringing at the wrong time,
Get the phone or let it SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are the Germans having salad,
or blaming the Spaniards for their tauge woes?
Apart from playing beautiful football,
The Spanish are in ruins, economically and socially,
No they don't scream, they just make lotsa noisa!

I want my peace, stay away you evil minions.
Or I'll call the handywoman to fix you real good.
Handywoman where art thou?

Temple and Gym

2011-06-05T13:37:00.000+01:00

2 places I should've visited a while ago,
Really I didn't have much choice,
The op kept me out of the gym,
While the temple didn't serve my purpose back then.

Some enlightenment and simple Hindi,
Makes my day at the mandir,
Usually end up clueless as I ain't got a hint what the dude is chanting,
Only to have a modern priest,
Utilizing English and similes to get the point across crystal blinking?

The gym was crowded will all 2 machines occupied,
The occupants left before I made a fuss,
And I ran and ran, satisfied.
Be it 1km only,
I feel good!

Love is in the air, baby!

Angry birds!

2011-06-04T05:10:00.001+01:00

Angry Birds!
Now available for download.

Click on either link below

http://www.wupload.com/file/4918383

OR

http://www.fileserve.com/file/a3WEAkp