Live.Laugh.Love

Getting back into me

2012-08-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

Update on me: i start school in august, going back to church soon, & im still married. Getting married is easy but honestly staying married is the task ! Dont get me wrong i LOVE being able to be with one person who proclaims to love & appreciate me, but its the trials that makes things rocky. You find out things about your partner that was hidden while you were dating and lies that were told and sometimes you feel a world of emotion because you dont know whether to bring it up or hold it in(different story for a different time). Honestly any couple that is getting married or are newlyweds ....GET COUNSELING !!! it will be needed ! Its a great feeling to be able to express your feelings to your partner in a controlled enviorment with a mentor who isint "playing sides" ...i mean you can talk to your friends about whats going on... Why cant you talk to someone who is more willing to help ??

Anyway ive been dealing with alot personally, but im working on myself... I want to get back independent, im ready to get myself back on track so i know if anything (God forbid) was to happen...i know where i stand... no ! I'm not saying I'm trying to leave my husband and make him feel like he's not needed... but sometimes I feel like things won't get done unless I put it in my own hands & in this way I can find who I am again in the process. I use to love my life now I feel like I'm just "here", somebody to occupy time. I'm excited for the change I'm trying to make I realize people who mean the most me either lie to me to keep me around..or they just tell me what I want to hear not to loose me and hurt my feelings ... idk but I'm ready for much needed chance .. going back to school & church is a start...now on to looking for a job ! Oh yeah I'm going back to the gym every so often too !! I'm loving it..I'm a great girl & I don't need anybody to tell me that.. the only thing that will hold me down is if I get knocked up... I'm definately dodging that bullet !! I'm not trying to slow down for nothing ... bout to hit my 20's I have a life to live !!!.... toodles (just thought you should know about my updates) :o)

Baby Fever !!!!

2012-04-20T10:47:00.002-07:00

ok sooo i havent posted on here in awhile and all, my life got hectic for a second ( well not that much ) but enough. my man is back from NTC, && we got married on April 12th soo im elated when it comes to that, but thats not really what ive been wanting to talk about. soo question ?? why is it that when you find yourself in a long term relationship, you get asked when the kids come ? i mean really you would be shocked if you knew how many people asked me when my family was going to start. for a moment it hit me. i had baby fever, the more people who asked me about it, the more i was drawn in to wanting a baby. i mean i felt so odd ALL my friends are either working on their second kid or just had one. and its so odd because everytime me and my friends get together the convo ALWAYS drifts off into their "babys daddys" or how crazy their "baby mommas" is, im always left out cause i cant relate to any of it ! Soo yeah i got caught up, and it became so ironic that the opprotunity came up that my B.C (birth control) messed up and i had to get off them until it was time to start a new pack, so if anything that had been the perfect time. this was it ! i wanted a baby, but i was kinda nervous to tell my husband, cause he really wouldve wanted to know what had gotten into me and that would have probably detoured him from wanting to have sex, so i kept my feelings inside. gladly i snapped out of the baby fever !!! whew !!

im not saying that i wont ever fall into it again, tomorrow i may look into my husbands eyes while where in the middle of our session and feel like im ready for one again, im just saying it just dawned on me the other day that i just might not be "mommy material" yet. im soo busy thinking for everyone else, that i forget about me. ive gotten so bad that ill walk in the store, see something that i want, consider buying it but i dont because i seen a shirt that my sister will love or a watch that'll look good on my man. it probably doesnt make since to you while your reading this, but if i cant put myself first now, im going to be burnt out and ready to call quits on everything by the time the baby is 3 (ok maybe im thinking too hard into this), but seriously. i look at my mom and shes soo stressed, she doesnt even know what to do with herself because shes too busy caring for others. my mom got pregnant with me at 16 and shes now 36 with 4 more children and in her face you can just see that "tired" look on her face.

i just dont think im the right "mom" for the job right now... alot say i am, because im so generous and i think about everyone, so they KNOW my child will be well taken care of.. TRUE STORY my child will, promise you that, but will i ? when im confident enough to answer that question then thats when ill have my child :o)

Staying "Army Strong"

2012-03-20T00:34:00.002-07:00

So my baby has been in NTC(National Training Center) what feels like forever, but its only been about 3 weeks, but i miss him ! ... we haven't been able to talk like we use to but i still manage to get a "one minute" sneak call in or a sneak text or two, the point being...WE STILL communicate but not lately. I havent heard from him in three days, not heads up or anything. i know you other army wives are probably laughing at me because i said three days, but bare with me im new to this lifestyle.... me and Brandon have been INSEPARABLE since we first started dating. whether we saw each other, oovoo'd, facebook'd or even sent each other text messages we still managed to keep in contact. he calls me every break he gets and i fell hard for those things(yes ! i know we broke up at one point, but we still ended up talking to each other... you could feel the tension and anger, but we still talked) now its been three long days with me having no idea when i will get another call or text has taken a toll on me, emotionally/physically. the main problem is i had no time to brace myself for this. ive been having sleepless nights ( im scared to fall asleep and not be able to wake up to receive his phone call) and ive been" in my feelings" about everything. im always on the verge of tears or crying, im startig to find myself doing the things he does when were together like sleeping with no pants on (sounds crazy i know). i have tried taking the other wives advice and started getting out more, but like everything else that hasnt seemed to work either. im either telling the whole world "what Eady would be doing if he where here" or just not wanting to be involved in what im doing because i am constantly checking my phone for any "missed calls" from him. these days have felt like months, and im just dying inside becuase i just HAVE to know how he is feeling, but i cant :'(

This is my bracelet... i cherish it like its worth a million dollars. i have been wearing it everyday since hes been gone. i eat, sleep, go out, and even work out with it on... im not taking it off until he comes back home. Every time i look at it, it reminds me of the times we have laughed together. it reminds me of the crazy things me and him do when we are together. (if you are wondering what the charm says, it says: "my soldier makes my <3 go BOOM) i know you smiled when you read that, i smile too when i read it !

I cant wait to order mines soon !!!! i have been wanting one sooo badly, i would love more than anything to keep something of him close to my heart daily ! ( if any of you would like to know where to get this ill post a link at the bottom of the page where you can purchase one. hopefully money is right and i will purchase me and him one, so if her does so happen to get deployed, he doesnt have to look in his wallet to find where his heart is

Its the little things like this (the bracelet, the dog tags that keeps me going on the times i cant hear from him.. He makes me so Happy if only you all whos reading this really knew ! what do you all do to keep yourselves staying "army strong" while he is away ??

(link to the dogtags : https://www.facebook.com/feathersdesigns)

(link to nametapes : https://www.facebook.com/NametapeBraceletsOorah)

* ill do another blog with a list all all the good sites to go to to represent you soldier :o)

Dont Take Life For Granted

2012-01-29T12:53:00.001-08:00

http://www.gainesville.com/section/news01

this was my family today (uncle, aunt, grandaddy & two baby cousins) 10 people dies and my family are ok ( my grandad is still hospitalized but HES ALIVE ! GOD IS AWESOME !

Military Girl

2012-01-29T12:51:00.000-08:00

Thought this was awsome..u will understand.. only if your spouse is military lol :)

1.) If she wasn’t emotional before, that is all about to change.

2.) You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay.

3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.

4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)

5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant)

6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.

7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men… she will be proud… VERY proud.

8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an “I LOVE MY _____” sticker eventually. (if you have seperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these)

9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car’s rear view mirror. (see 3)

10.) Every week she’ll have “another song” that makes her think of you when you’re away. (And she’ll cry to it, even when you’re in the same room)

11.) If youre married, she may know the base better than you do… Don’t take it personal.

12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with “other couples” in the military constantly.

13.) She’ll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her “old friends just don’t understand” like they do.

14.) Don’t be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)

15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you… (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn’t be here)

16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. it’s sexy as hell.

17.) Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and don’t bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Don’t remind us.

18.) You ARE our hero. That isn’t us being cute, it’s us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you’re standing there.

19.) Don’t worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she’s NOT sleeping. If she is, she’s been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.

20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her… she’ll wear them all the time and if she doesn’t wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.

21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.

22.) Don’t be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she’s still your queen, soft and sweet.

23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it’s okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.

24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her.

25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls… random profain comments may come out of your little queens’ mouth… its okay, shes protecting her best asset…you.

26.) She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.

27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with “when i get home” or “when i get out”.

Lastly guys,

28.) No matter how much she’s changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.

our song(he doesnt know it yet) lol

2012-01-02T00:35:00.000-08:00

i ran across this song about an hour ago && it has been on repeat since !! dedicating this song to my love.... ily EADY <3

Ladies pay attention

2011-10-15T14:29:00.001-07:00

Ladies: please stop going to your friends regarding the issues that s going on in your relationship. you are not in a relationship with your friends. you are currently in a relationship with him. Therefore, talking to your friends instead of confronting him is not going to solve the problems. In fact, talking to your friends might end up destroying your relationship and make you lose a good man who truly loved and cared about you in a way that no other man will. If there is any sort of lack of communication between you and your partner, it is essential that you and him both work on it because without good communication, confession, trust, respect for each other feelings or opinions, there is no relationship. confess your feelings to him doesn't necessarily means that you are complaining, he s not a good man, or he is not treating you right. it simply means that you highly valued your relationship, want to make the relationship work with him, want him to be a lover to you and also a best friend that you can talk to about anything without getting in an argument

My promise to you

2011-10-12T14:07:00.001-07:00

I cannot promise that I will not become frustrated when you leave me and the world seems to fall apart around me. I cannot promise that I will not curse those who sent you when the dryer breaks, and the transmission needs to be replaced, and bills are due all in the same week - most likely the week after you deploy. I cannot promise that the sand and mud that cakes my floor will not cause me to give you harsh looks and rude thoughts. I cannot promise that my heart will not be torn in twelve different ways when you march away from me. I cannot promise that I will not let my anger show when you refuse to answer questions. I cannot promise to understand why you share things with your comrades that you will not share with me. I cannot promise that there won't be times when my heartache makes its presence known before my pride can mask it. I cannot promise that I will not show my worry and my concern when it is best for you not to see it. I cannot promise to understand why you do so many of the things you do.

But I can promise that for as many tears of sadness and frustration and anger that are shed there will be double that of tears of pride. I can promise you that for every time you are away from me, I will learn to cherish the times that you are with me. In everything I will honor you and honor your sacrifice. I can promise to teach our children to do the same. I will use every moment that you are not with them to show them the amazing man that you are through my actions and my pride. I can promise that there will never be a night where you are not the subject of my final prayer and the keeper of my dreams. I promise to try to be understanding that there are many things I will never understand. I promise to keep you with me in everything and to do my best to keep grace in this life. I will be strong for you as you are strong for me and I will carry you with me in every moment until your sandy boots again sit just inside our door.
- for the love of my life..... my bestfriend..my everything... even though it hurts were not together.. ill still love you forever

2011-09-20T23:49:00.001-07:00

this made me really think about what its gotta be like to be him "A story: A man fires a rifle for many years; And he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armoury; And he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands, love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper; His hands still remember the rifle."

2011-09-13T23:19:00.000-07:00

ok that last blog was purely out of anger/emotion... i love my future husband, and we go through things just like anybody else.. but the true test in any relationship, is to be able to hold hands after each disagreement <3 it took me some time to actually grasp that phrase but i mean i feel like its so relevant to my life

??

2011-09-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

i dont know what to do, my head hurts, i cant think, i cant sleep !! i just feel like nothings going right anymore. the other day i thought i was pregnant and in my mind i was like this is NOT the time(i had a dream about one, i woke up scared) ! i feel like my relationship is not 100 anymore since this crazy mess, i mean its not his fault or mines just reality and this thing called life.. well maybe it is our faults i ont reall know...but im just gonna get my mind focused back on the thing that i kno best... school !! maybe ill start dancing or singing or working...i need something that allows me to get away from everything and everybody..i love being alone ... i wonder if thats how im supposed to end up..all my relationships end up a mess. but it is what it is !

2011-09-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

a lil soem :)

2011-08-25T17:36:00.001-07:00

There she goes again, smiling like he's home, laughing a voice of a child.
Her words of wisdom, make you think she been around a while.
The shine in her smile catches most hearts.
You see her out and never would you think, she's alone most of her nights.
In her eyes, there are neither rich nor poor.
With her touch no broken heart aches for too long.
She walks tomorrow but her mind rests in flashbacks of those moments with him till sunrise.
No surprise to anyone that she buries emotions, that's all she has known, is to live for everyone else.
She lives out "No woman is complete without chap-stick and polish on her toes"
Her motto is "Life is about giving" making people smile, makes her smile.
She wouldn't dare to show her misery or loneliness.
What kind of soldier's love would she be?
She's trying to bloom right where she is planted.
"That's life, sometimes it hurts, but it's all we got" she says.
She preaches that "Happiness is a choice" so her ability to live up to that is 100% effort.
You will never feel her soaken pillow or hear the desperate prayers, nor the sound of a separation in her ears.
All you will see is her big heart still dances with HOPE like absolutely no other.
Her smile still brightens with pride, in her soldier, along with his fellow men.
He is the man of her life and no deployment or Army can take that away.
She is just doing her duty on this side of the world.

things you cant do once your married

2011-08-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

1) Get drag-out, stumble-down drunk: there is nothing sexy about stumbling out of a bar or club. Getting this out of your system is the purpose of a men/women party.(personally i wouldnt even drink & have strippers nd ish at mines)
2)Sleepovers with the girls/guys: When you’re single you can stay out late, stay up chatting at your girls/boys house and crash. Not when you’re married !. You have a husband/wife, a household. Only on rare, if ever, occasions should you be out so late that you “can’t make it” home. GNO’s(girls night out), v-cations, and other girls-only/men-only overnight activities are very limited for married couples, (not saying u cant to do, just dont over do it). If you’re itching to be away from home, alone, you and your spouse have some things to work out.
3)Go to the club dressed like a video model (women) :s it going to be the boobs or butt? Pick one but not both. A married woman should be sexy not hoe-ish,Your husband won’t mind other men getting a sneak peek (well mines do, and i dont mind the way he feels), but he's not okay with them getting the full coverage.
4)Solo dinner dates with men: may be done for business purposes or with a long-time friend with the best of intentions, but it gives off the wrong vibe. Outsiders, who may see you out, call your husband/wife and bring drama to your home. Not worth it. Lunch is much more appropriate and professional for solo male-female meetings(but please call your spouse before you do anything).
5)“Network” after 10PM : its not okay for you to be facebooking when your man/woman just walked in from a long day of work, put your phone on the charger and give them the time and attention they deserve.
6)Buy shoes/clothes instead of paying bills :Late and missed bill payments have an adverse effect you and your spouse. In marriage, “we” comes before “I” when making decisions.
* these are the things that i see & hear from married people, and what i feel ruins most relationships... make every day like its your "first time" put God first and your marriage will be okay :)

What do I do?*

2011-08-16T16:53:00.001-07:00

It hurt me more than anything to see him hurt the way he did. The part that even hurt the most was.... I couldn't do anything to help ! I did all I could to make her change her mind, but hell has no fury like a woman scorned. This was the hardest thing ever . What do I do ?? I'm 100+miles away... I just wanted to hold him ! and reasure him that this battle is far from lost or over. But how can I reasure him on something that's not even mine ?? Something I had no input creating. I could just give him a child ? I'll do anything to have him happy ! But that can create an even bigger problem. creating another baby won't replace the one he originally created, its nothing like your first born ! I would know! I remember when I was in that position, && hurt because he had no chance to even experience my love.. I was truly hurt, I wanted him back.. and I would do whatever I could to get him back. Till I realized, somethings you gotta let go .. but that's besides the point back to my love, what do I do ? Even if I tried to make him happy again and give him his hearts desire, what's the oods it'll be a girl?? Then I would feel like I let him down. Maybe I should give him time to himself... I'm really lost right now. I know that he's gonna fight this and I'm down with him to the very end.. but in the end I feel like every day its a what happens next ??

A bit of everything

2011-08-10T20:46:00.001-07:00

Soo I had a minor talk with my mother today about getting married, I usually don't like the talks because I find them very strange and kinda uncomfortable but this one was okay..... I kinda eased thru the subject, because I'd feel better if "he" was here with me but, army calls. I got the total opposite response from what I expected. Her feelings where like mines, she feels as though we should begin marriage counseling to learn more about who we are begining to be as a couple. (Its not like we have kids together??) But its hard because his deployment soon :/ . She was also concerned about the "transition", we reside in two different states so its kinda hard. I have this friend named Alice who's going thru the same exact thing but except her and her fiance decided to get married in september, while he stays in GA and get the housing and everything situated, while she stays in Jacksonville until after her semester of school is done. I liked that idea ! Soo idk yet, I'm praying everything works out && I'm doing it a day at a time :o)

One less lonely girl

2011-07-26T18:59:00.001-07:00

Long distance relationships aren't as easy I thought it was. The moments I can't hear from you are the moments that take my breath away.
I honestly hate my past relationships. They cause insecurity within myself. It's always questions that run through my mind that in reality scare me. It's always where is he?? Who is he with?? What is he doing?? The possibility of answers make me hurt so bad.
It's not that I don't trust him, I trust my man its just the insecurity within myself.
Why am I doing this to myself?? To him?? I don't know why. No man should have to suffer from a "past" when he could be the one trying to make a future. Now he has to sit and deal with a broken heart that he has to mend? That's unfair! , I'm on the phone upset with him over something I think he could've been doing but he isint.
I know that I love him and wouldn't think twice about it, I've never a acted like this before ! I fein for his attention and when I have it I feel like one less lonely girl, but when I call only to go to voicemail I go crazy.
How many I told ya and start overs and shoulders have I cried on before?
How many promises, let's be honest, how many tears have I let hit the floor.
How many bags have I packed just to take a guy back, lettme tell u that how many either ors?
Theirs no more since I let him inside my world ! I have a great man I hope he knows it I'm one less lonely girl !

Conception ??

2011-07-26T13:22:00.001-07:00

Conception has been a tending topic in my life for some odd reason for a couple weeks now. I been weighting the pros and cons of the situation. Many ppl in my family have been expecting to hear the words " I'm pregnant" since the age of 16, some generational thing that I've been able to shake. But now I'm at a point in my life where I'm happily engaged to this amazing man that I love, so this will be some thing that will definitely come up sooner or later.
The idea of me having a life growing inside me, something that I have to bond with for 9 months sounds great even better wen sharing it with the one that helped me create it.
I date a soldier, who will be getting deployed soon(just thinking about it, I want to cry) I don't want to be pregnant alone, but I also feel that it could be a good thing because everyday while he's gone, I have something to remind me of why I'm in love. It'll also make me feel excited to know that when he comes home, he's coming home to his "family" and not just his "wife"
My love has a baby from a previous relationship, which I vow to treat him as my own, I love him because I know that's where my future husbands heart will be, I hope and pray when little jermaine arrives all will be well
I don't know how this will go, but I'm ready for anything that happens but when it does I just want to be happy as a family (:
Well wishing us luck on our life..... I love my soldier.

my love

2011-06-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

i love this man, God gave him to me right on time :), never felt a love quite like his, i pray to never stop ! i pray for him everyday more than i do myself ! i love to hear his heartbeat only because it plays my favorite song. his family is amazing just as well as mine i feel as though he is the one he makes me so happy words cant even explain. he makes me feel secure when im feeling insecure i can run to him when i feel an empty space.... he makes my incomplete life complete ! :o)

The kiss that said it all !

2011-06-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

to the people who say the first kiss tells you all you need to know : i believe you ! the moment i kissed my solider i knu my life was complete... their was no end for us, but yet, we are only starting the beginning

tú eres mi corazón y yo siempre te amaré (you are my heart and i will ALWAYS love you !

he's the one for me, my llife and my strength, he loves me and he gives me his best even on those days i feel like i have nothing left to give him. i love you brandon lytrell eady

2011-06-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

Seduce my mind and you can have my body,find my soul and im yours forever

i cant tell that your tired of being lonely, dont let go baby hold me ! things will get better if you just hold my hand !

Unexpected love

2011-05-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

Love is unpredictable, but once it hits you, you will know ! its crazy when love hits you when its totally unexpected. To have met someone who truly loves youu, and you have grown to love them back, its incredible. Their are people who run from love and those who embrace it with a burning passion, whichever way you choose, love ALWAYS hits its mark.

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away

2011-05-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

Only the strong survive

2011-05-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not the perfect army girlfriend, our distance sometimes get to me and i feel as though nothing is right while he is gone. I think about how amazing it would be to have my solider home all the time, and their may even be times when he will be home ill push him away so it doesn't hurt so bad when he leaves again. at night I began to cry because its hard to stay strong for the both of us, but when i stop to think about how much i love my man i am proud to be an army girlfriend ! i have only known him for a short amount of time, but i feel like my life has been with him thru eternity. Its crazy what our friends say, cuz we gone and they try and figure us out baby, we aint gotta front nor pretend cuz you know they gone hate, talk behind out back, & smile up in our face, but we gone prove em wrong && show them how its done ! i accept his flaws and past mistakes and through it all ill have his hand, after all i am his girlfriend ! i love you SPC Eady 5/12/2011

Fam(ily)

2011-05-30T01:11:00.000-07:00

Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them