Welcome to closer to SANE

Holdin ground and not going to therapy..

2014-04-24T20:37:00.001-04:00

'be sane'.

Have been told by good friend and HATAS worker that I need therapy, meds but I am ok so not obliging them, sorry. Am handling stress from where live(people obnoxious), being poor, unemployed, having disabilities, living in pain, being alone a lot, lonely, no friends, family here,etc.

Local gal, 18, convicted for killing her father. Shot him with gun. Was 17 at time. Sad. She claimed self defense. She had used his credit card and he was not too happy about it. Again, shows the importance of how mental health treatment, therapy needs to be readily available to all so that people who need help get it before they snap and hurt others.

excerpt below from mental health site...

2014-04-11T11:42:00.001-04:00

	Ask Dr. Schwartz: Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions
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Personality Disorder or Just a Horrible Person

Sat, Dec 21st 2013

Dear Dr. Schwartz,
I have been married for 15 years and for 13 of those my mother-in-law had keys to our house. I loved & trusted her as she helped me a lot when my children were young. However, I realised she was stealing my things. Over the years she has taken kitchen knives, expensive linen, my grandmothers crochet tablecloth, bath towels, coasters, alcohol, platters and other household goods.I used to see things at her home and think she just used to go out and buy the same items, e.g. a white platter, for example, until I noticed that my white linen tablecloth was on her dining table. She has also given my grandmothers crochet tablecloth to her daughter as a wedding gift.

I have confronted her with this and there is always some explanation e.g. that her employer brought back the white linen tablecloth from Hong Kong for her as a gift. Also, after I confronted her about it, she started putting all my things that she had taken over the years, on show, e.g. my knives on her kitchen bench, my drink coasters on her coffee table.
She is also a compulsive liar. She does have money and can afford to buy these things for herself, but does not like to spend money. She lives like a miser. She attends Church every Sunday and appears to be an upstanding citizen. She does not have any long term friendships. I thought I was the luckiest person on earth to have such a great & helpful motherinlaw until I discovered she was stealing from our house. Now I don't want to even be in the same room as her. Is there some sort of explanation for her behaviour? I thought if I can work out why she has done this it will help me deal with it.

Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. Responds

I don't know if your mother-in-law has a personality disorder or not. Either way, she, in your terms, could be a "horrible person." Not everyone with a personality disorder is horrible and not everyone who is free from this disorder is nice.
Many years ago, working in the hospitals, we used to say that "mental illness is no excuse for bad behavior. Except for those who are so mentally ill or delusional that they cannot decipher right from wrong, people know what is ethical and not. After all, she goes to Church, which by itself, indicates a sense of moral thinking.
Having said all of this, she might have some type of mental illness. There are those who have a compulsion to hoard. In that case, people pick up and save garbage, shop compulsively and save what they buy, steal and save the stolen items and etc. There are those who compulsively steal things, know it's wrong and cannot stop.
I assume that you have discussed this with your husband and have decided how you want to deal with the problem. If not, the two of you need to discuss this problem and decide upon a reasonable approach. I assume you want your grandmother's table cloth back. However, its important that the two of you are united on this thing and in agreement, even if that agreement means doing nothing.
Best of Luck

- Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D.

More violence in our schools....

2014-04-09T19:54:00.001-04:00

/be sane'.

this time it's Pennsylvania, small town. Kid comes in hacking people with knife. What? no metal detectors? come on people get with the program and update your security in school, work, malls. Also make mental health a priority. Increase funding so people who need help, get it. Write your congressman now.You mean to tell me no one knew this kid was in trouble? how did he get by security guard when entered school with two knives? How come security guard couldn't defend himself and do something to help prevent this?

Dr. Brene Brown's vulnerability

2014-04-09T19:26:00.001-04:00

'be sane.'

at Ted Talks. Good stuff. click here for video.

Interview with Sinead O'Connor...

2014-04-07T16:05:00.000-04:00

'get sane.'

She shares on how she has bipolar. See here.

Another shooting..

2014-04-04T09:39:00.000-04:00

'stay or get sane'.

opens our eyes to the need for providing affordable mental health treatment for all. Yes, 'insanity' is overrated or rather, not making this a prioriy is just plain stupid. In these stressful, economically taxing times with foreclosures due to job loss, the break down of the nuclear family, wide spread divorce, depression, isolation due to technology and it's fast pace, warring nations, crime, violence and so on..We are put upon daily in countless ways, bombarded by all this stimuli. Easing our minds is an oasis and answer. How do we do this? Try affordable ways and not just paying a shrink for 100 an hour. Yoga, meditation, deep stretching, breathing, juicing, walking, biking, listening to calming music, swimming, going for a stroll in the woods, hanging with our pets, minimizing cluttering, letting go of some of our possessions that really possess us are all possible options. 'here's to your health!'

read more here. on fort hood and handling traumatic situations like this.

Why I hate psyche meds...

2014-04-02T20:27:00.000-04:00

watch now.

Use Lumosity to train yiour brain..

2014-04-02T11:55:00.000-04:00

'be sane'.

and keep it healthy, agile. Cognitive games, skills learned, maintained like for memory, awareness of things going on at same time, finding differences in say a group of pix and similarities.

Just came out of an online mental health chat on Bipolar World. Felt attacked. Moderator booted me and the let me back in. All said was not good to be reactive but to act. was told didn't know him and how was lecturing and a troll and so forth by the group. Felt unwelcomed. typical of this type of room and a mental one in particular given the people thee who are unstable. what do you think? has this happened to you in a chat, forum online?

All I did rather than respond and 'bug out' is deep breath and say 'be still' and was calmer as felt self getting hurt, worked up so is my responsibility to work it down and be sane not nutty, reactive blown about by the winds of life.

Inspiring!

2014-03-13T10:39:00.001-04:00

'seeking sanity'.

Will smith shares his thoughts on life. click here.

The REAL 'Wolf of Wall St.'...

2014-03-12T14:13:00.003-04:00

'live right, be sane'.

a chat with Jordan Belfort who book, movie is based on. see interview here. comes down to , he lost all made, went to jail but learned his lesson. shares what learned. How ties into living sane, mental health is maybe not so obvious but good mental health is key. Not living on coke if happy. Get sane, stay that way, aim for happiness. Live ethically too.

Watched Joel Osteen and Charles Stanley...

2014-03-02T18:50:00.000-05:00

this morning. I do this every Sunday and watch Joyce Meyers at 8AM daily. i try to live spiritually. I believe this is good for my mental health as well.What do you think? What do you do to stay on track?

On Depression...

2014-02-22T10:19:00.001-05:00

On Depression...: by www.meganmennes.blogspot.com

"All creatures great and small,God made them all!" -the Bible

Reality tv and violence

2014-02-16T13:59:00.001-05:00

seem to go hand in hand as evidenced by shows like Bravo's 'Vanderpump Rules'(inferring Kristen is borderline),'Shahs of Sunset's 'Gigi(could be borderline), 'Housewives of NJ',(Theresa's bro and hubby,Danielle,Theresa fights),RHOA,(Apollo beating on Brandon, Now arrested for fraud.) to name a few examples. These shows are getting more and more like Jerry Springer. What is it about these venues and us that we need to watch this crap? It is reminiscent of the old days and Rome and it's gladiators and the arena whre we had them fight each other with wild beasts in the wings nipping at their heels like in "Gladiator' movie with Russell Crowe.

And what about the Kardashians who replaced our obsession with no talent Paris Hilton? (yes she and kim are models and now they are into fashion)Now new generation of this brood is here in Kendall and her strutting down runway at NY's fashion week in her barely there clothing. Her and sis have new fashion line at Pac Sun.

Let us not forget Brandi Glanville and her drinking,bad behavior and now she has a 2nd book out after her first 'texting and tweeting'..

Is Kristen borderine?

2014-02-16T13:29:00.001-05:00

'seeking sanity.'

Kristen

from Sur restaurant and hit Bravo show 'Vanderpump Rules'.

What makes new girlfriend of ex Ariana and her Tom such experts on psychology that they can diagnose her is what I want to know. lol.. for more on borderline personality disorder go here. Here's a video of lecture on this topic.

Trauma,neglect and invalidation from parents as children a definite cause of this. I think Gigi from 'Shahs' could be.

Plan to cut mental health spending with budget cuts..

2014-01-29T20:14:00.000-05:00

'sane brain,healthy life'.

Wrong move. many deeply troubled,poor people about who need help and free treatment. need to keep it available. many pressured,working longer hours,sleeping less to make ends meet. a deadly combination.

Despite mass sporadic shootings...

2014-01-18T10:36:00.000-05:00

"good brain,great life!'

mental halth maintenance, still on back burner. evidence is clear if look at the lack of traffic to this site! omg.

I have links on my other blogs and web page Artzstuf to here including my health blog, 'closer to Sane' but still no views,ugh. I think the content is good hear too,modestly speaking. Topics include: how to cope with bipolar with a dog,suicide prevention,veterans and suicide,12 step programs for mental health,foods to prevent depression,signs of depression,borderline personality disorder and the dsm manual definition of this illness,brain injury awareness and so on..

yeh, another shooting spree. this time in Maryland. People need to get help before they hurt others and the government needs to invest in mental health affordable treatment for all who need it.

Watch Oprah Winfrey's 'Super soul Sunday'..

2013-12-15T14:54:00.000-05:00

and connect wwith your soulful,spiriual side. Your mind,brain,self with thank you! Namaste. I watch it and several preachers like joel osteen,charles Stanley and joyce meyer each Sunday to connect with my inner self,voice.

Away in mass.

2013-10-15T09:00:00.001-04:00

Is my home away from home.

All my blogs are going to...

2013-10-01T15:37:00.002-04:00

dropaholics.

While many are nutty as...

2013-09-18T12:00:00.001-04:00

evidenced by the latest shooting in DC, there is little interest in this blog that has a mental health related theme. I offers free help to those afflicted written by a person who struggled with this disorder. Sad comment I think o society. What do you think?

Am coping with accusations and charges...

2013-07-03T18:57:00.000-04:00

Live sane!

by seeing therapist and chatting with supportive people often like my good freind Bill,my advocate Karen and housing rep thru HATAS,Leslie. Sent a letter to my accuser and judge asking for leniency and that I would pay back gradually what owe as am innocent and accidentally used his card on file on Amazon for self. Doesn't make me a criminal. Contacted public defender and sent out application for help so now just have to wait and hoe for the best and pray.

Attended Brain injury awareness conference in..

2013-06-13T18:19:00.000-04:00

Albany at the Marriot hotel. Was ok,nothing great. Food was good as provided continental breakfast,catered lunch,veggie lasagna and dinner,fried chiken,salad,cheese cake. Displayed and sold my art,jewelry,some Mary kay cosmetics and perfume aquired from yard sale from exrep. Made $25.

Karen,my facts coordinator,advocate,BIANYS and me at conference. 6/2013.

Back in therapy...

2013-05-29T13:03:00.000-04:00

Yeh got a new therapist,psychologist. Seems like a cool dude. I highly recommend this to others as it is good to be somewhat introspective and to have an objective voice to talk to and bounce aspects of our life off of. ALso in my case,it its good to talk to someone as live near no friends,family and gets lonely hear in Albany,NY.

You are stronger than you know...

2013-03-31T11:33:00.000-04:00

as this incredible nature video will demonstrate. lions and crocodile against a poor baby buffalo. enjoy!

Borderline (old post)...

2013-03-31T11:13:00.000-04:00

moved it from my 'frugal' blog as fits in better here. Borderline Personality Disorder and Me... keeping well: spend time with select family,friends,support groups,chats,online and locally,humor,distract with movie,tv,not triggering),volunteering,cooking nice meal,hugging self,compassion for self,others,prayer,dropping judgement,expectations,comparing,moping,self pity,manipulating,complaining,worry,hypersensitivity,letting go of,making peace with past,forgiving those who hurt us,accept,be honest,courageous,positive,grateful,remember where were before,(replace old negative statements in writing with positive ones,reduce anger,fear with reframing,working self down,staying in day,control addictions,ask for help,company,not enabling helps. All relative. Put inspiring quotes on walls. Peace,God bless,good luck to all of us. Work it, worth it,stronger,better than you know. Brain remembers,we learn in time not to repeat same mistakes and walk down different st. so don't fall in hole again. Is crux of it. Weren't loved so we have to love us. Don't accept others trash just because have issues,maybe poor,jobless,friendless as keep to self to avoid pain or not being understood. No.one deserves abuse. It ends here,now when we say enough and take back that child,person wounded,depend on selves not another as a crutch,learn to and receive love and walk. No shame,not to blame. We didn't cause this but responsible for what do with it. Is like a balloon. By doing techniques I gave you and do myself,we let a little air out of it at a time so suffering lessens and is bearable We are great and survivors. If you are still here,you are doing more right than wrong. Nothing wrong with us,more like what happened to us. Celebrate your survival. When you finally overcome this you are a miracle and learn to love yourself. No one can take that from you. Our journey inspires others to make the same as we fly on the backs of us pioneers just like geese taking turns leading,squawking,til we tire and let our sister,brother lead for a time til we reach our goals. Perfection is an illusion. We are ok right now as are,not defective.We need each other as we are part of a unique flock. We are not crazy but have been exposed to violence,etc. that made us function in maladaptive ways as we couldn't be direct to our abusers. When we find a safe place to live,take the right medicine,find a trauma therapist,meet other BPD peers,begin to use these tools above, the healing begins. Don't expect people who haven't lived this to understand and ask for advice as they can't give it to you. Is like we speak an unknown language. They can have empathy but they need to be in a group to deal with us. We are not bad just very misunderstood.