Roda's Footprints

Peace Begins With Love

So let’s all give a little love for International Day of Peace.

International Day of Peace, September 21

Help me i'm falling.

Aug 20, 2016 Saturday 8:45PM

God's Presence

The crucifix inside my hospital room.

I've been through a storm last Wednesday. My blood pressure was at 160/120. A day before it was at 170/100. What made me call it a storm is that because fear started to engulf me thereby making me tremble and wanted to shout. My daughter and my husband were with me...they served as my strength that moment. But there is our Gracious God with us...embracing me and telling me "Be still and know that I am God!" I remained calm all throughout our travel to the hospital - I knew God is with me! When we reach Fatima Hospital (our Lady of Fatima took care of me too) we went straight to Emergency Room and there i found children with different illnesses crying...i started to pray for them and for all those who are sick and in pain.While praying, i felt i started to calm down. When we arrived my blood pressure is 180/130. TO GOD BE THE GLORY it went down to 140/90. There are two resident doctors in the ER who took turns in taking care of my needs plus the nurses on duty...they are angels sent by our Gracious God. When i were transferred to my room...a nurse in the nursing station welcomed us named Christian (another angel sent by our Gracious God) In my room, a nurse named David (another angel sent by our Gracious God) keeps on monitoring my blood pressure. Then on my blood test , GOD sent me another angel named John Daniel so i didn't even feel any pain. Our Gracious God is always true to HIS word...ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE, SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND, KNOCK AND IT SHALL BE OPENED UNTO YOU. with only a small amount in our pocket, my brother whom my daughter called up ,arrived right away . Another angel sent...my sister BFF called up too. A friend/sister at work is another angel sent too. The many prayers i received are heaven sent too. Really, GOD WILL MAKE A WAY, WHEN THERE SEEM TO NO WAY...we can always count on HIM. Our God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Thank you, thank you, thank you my dearest Gracious GOD!

MY BFF (Best Friend Forever)

I couldn't believe the time has come...there was no sign of labor pain in mom's face. She just came from the market with plenty of goods. We are in an eatery store that time and I cannot imagine mom on her due date carrying a big basket of food and cluster of bananas which she'll make into "Saging con hielo" or sweetened plantain with ice. This time all she did was put all her baggage down and headed on to dress up, carry her bag of baby's needs and off she went to the hospital together with a friend. Still I keep on wondering if she is really about to deliver her baby because i found no trace of labor pain on her face. But she was right...you came into this beautiful world on a sun-shiny Friday, April 17, 1970.

I was thirteen years old when you were born. And having four brothers for a long time makes me so grateful and excited that now I have a baby sister. Everybody says you are so beautiful...you have these big bright eyes and a pointed nose that looks like that of dad. You always wear this wonderful smile that you carry wherever you go that is why everyone is so fond of you. I too took that privilege of being proud of you...whatever extra curricular activities you're in, I was also there. We became close friends when you grew up. This time, I would always take you with me wherever I go. We always share things and we enjoy each others' company. In all the significant moments of our lives...you are always there for me, I am always there for you. We have our joyful...sorrowful and glorious moments together!

We may be oceans apart now but i feel as if you are always here beside me. Thank you! thank you! thank you! I couldn't imagine a life without a sister and a best friend like you...Happy Birthday and may all your heart's desire be done into your life through God's wonderful grace. I love you my Best Friend Forever!

MY JOURNEY

Had i not been so obstinate and persistent on going against my trials and obstacles in life, i wouldn't be where i am now. Yes, I have encountered storms...waves that almost swallow the whole of me but inch by inch i was able to move to the shore. Remembering my childhood bring back memories of frequent trips to the Doctor. A Rheumatic heart fever that developed into swollen joints on my ankle, my knees, my hands that prevented me from moving freely. I experienced one Christmas in a hospital . Looking outside i saw people all dressed up at their best, happily walking together...good thing was that the hospital served a creamy delicious macaroni salad and my father and mother were with me that special day. And since i was only a child then, i must say that my wants are simple that time. I was happy although i am in the hospital because i have my father and mother with me plus a bonus of a creamy macaroni salad. And more importantly was that i can move my hands and can walk through my doctor's care. I once was confined to lying down in bed most of the time ...even a single move in any part of my body will bring me excruciating pain. So it is heaven for me when at last through my doctor's care and medication I finally can move.
Come high school, i was advised by my doctor again to stop with my studies. My swollen joints attacked once more. I cannot walk and cannot even carry my bag...i cannot even dress myself alone...
But i wanted so much to study. So what i did was .... Escape from my mother's watch and attend my classes with much hardship walking and carrying my bag. The sad part is that, my teacher who was advised by my mother on my situation will always send me home. But i persevered on coming to school ... With God's grace and awesome miracles i also did experience getting well, coming back to school...be a normal being with normal needs until i reached my fourth year in high school. I remember when we have to be checked up by our school doctor for our Citizen's Army Training (CAT) Here, we will be wearing a fatigue uniform, will hold a rifle and march during the class period. And oh how i would want to be in a fatigue uniform and hold a rifle that is why i didn't tell our school doctor that i have a heart problem. The doctor keeps on telling me to rest first...attend checking on the other students and she'll come back to me...until on the third time she asked me if i have a heart problem because she can hear something from her stethoscope. I said yes, but because i really want to join and experience our CAT i didn't disclose it to her. To my surprise, i still was able to wear the uniform but without marching and had the privilege of guarding our class' wooden rifles. Isn't this great i got to wear my fatigue uniform!

Me, in my C.A.T. Uniform

At last, graduation came and i passed high school with God's grace and tons of miracles everyday. Had i faltered and stopped trying when the swelling came into the picture i would not have finished my high school studies. Yes i have my ups and downs too especially during those moments when my joints would really bother me but i have to defeat whatever obstacles will come my way for i promised myself that i will graduate in college so that my younger siblings will be imitating the path i will take. Being the eldest among 6 children of 4 boys in between and a sister who is the youngest... i am prompted to set a good example. As what our parents often told us whatever will be to the eldest will also be with the rest of the other siblings. So i bore that in mind and prayed earnestly that i will graduate college, land a perfect job and boost the life of my siblings.. I must admit my college life was not that easy...i love writing and wanted to take up Journalism but took up Business Administration instead, obeying the advise of my father. Almost always i will be having incomplete grades for not being able to take the final exam. Yes, my joints are swollen again...be confined in bed...wouldn't be able to walk and move again. Then i will be asked to take the exam in the Registrar's office and later be issued my grades. All of these didn't pose as hindrances to me...like a wounded soldier, the more attacks i have - the more i continued to hold on God's promise that HE will take care of me. One more semester and I will be graduating from college. Here it goes again...I work from seven in the morning to four in the afternoon everyday (i was a working student) then go to school Monday, Wednesday and Friday from five in the afternoon to nine in the evening on my last year in college. Our office is located on the fourth floor of the building so I have to bear the effort of climbing the stairs for the building does not have an elevator. Apparently, a simple stiff neck that I felt for one week turned into swollen joints again. This time, it is harder and painful physically and emotionally than i imagined. Again, I was advised to stop working and stop going to school. What? what about my dreams...what about my job...I do small groceries during payday...and I only have one semester to go...what about all those things, what do I do now? How can I say no, I cannot move...someone has to feed me...someone has to dress me...I am immobile! When you are in a situation wherein you really cannot comprehend...all you will do is hold on...pray and trust that these too will pass. For All things are possible with God! But as what Mathew 26:41 said "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" And I am almost nearing the end of my rope...

One month of "Penadur" injections, oral medication for a lifetime and one year of no work and studies and Praise God! I've recovered and was back to normal. But believe me...there was never a chance of doubts ever! God strengthens me all throughout my rough roads...my valleys...my mountains...my sunshine and my storm. I am like a big wave being tossed to and fro...there are times when I will be tired and would almost surrender, but my faith always comes the winner... I let go and let God!

I went back to school to finish my last semester. But still with a number of oral medication. Until one day, I found myself in the registrar's office staring at the list of candidates for graduation posted..."GACUTAN, RODALYN A." I made it ! I made it! God is good all the time!

I landed a job in Advertising...and worked from age 22 until i was 29. This meant helping augment the family income for a longer period of time. Until my doctor told me I may stop my oral medication
and marry and have a family. Am I hearing it right ? My oral medication is for a lifetime...i must not marry because of my heart problem...does this means I am healed??? The doctor said - the heart problem is still there but there is no recurrence. I was asked to stop the oral medication and yes, I heard it right...I can marry now!

God is really always on time...never early, never late! The love of my life came ...He is the best thing that ever happened to me! We had our wedding after a year and immediately we had our first born...a son! On the second year , we had our second child - our daughter! Our God is really an awesome God because I had a normal delivery for my first child and a natural delivery for my second child. What have I done to receive such a gift of a beautiful family...a husband, a son a daughter and perfect health? I knew it is not on me...I believe God loves me first and HIS mercy and compassion is overflowing!

Our little angel, Nyssa.

When I reached the age of forty, i conceived another baby girl. Everyone in the family were so excited and were so eager awaiting her arrival into this world. On my very due date... the fetal monitor cannot trace any heartbeat. I was then rushed into a painless delivery and yes, the umbilical chord wrapped around our baby girl's neck ...she was stillborn. We were so sad then...we buried her the following day and thank God I was allowed to get out of the hospital and be with our baby girl's funeral. I cannot remember how long it took us to overcome the grief...but with God's grace we survived.

It is also during my fortieth year that I was again taken to my doctor due to hypertension. I was advised to have a 2d-echo (ultrasound of the heart) and during that very moment - the doctor found out I do have a hole in the heart. They called it Atrial Septal Defect which is according to my Cardiologist is congenital or inborn. But why only now? how come my previous doctors didn't find it out before? I did have a three normal deliveries...and I passed it with flying colors with our Gracious God on my side. Operation must done...they have to put a patch on the hole, only my heart is enlarged. I do not know what to do...and so I prayed...prayed so fervently that I may be led to the right decision.

I didn't take the operation as my cardiologist told me it is a very tiny hole. I live one day at a time until everything else is back to normal. Yes, the hole is still there. I am being taken cared of by my cardiologist with the oral medication. His strict advise to me is to avoid tiring myself and not do strenuous works. My job doesn't requires full time. I am into Sales of memorial lots. The best part that I enjoyed much with my job is that it enables me to value sympathy and compassion. Here I've got to meet people from all walks of life. Touch their life...grieve with them...pray with them... I still meet road bumps sometimes...this is when I will be rushed to the hospital because of palpitations and overwork. This is when I am patted on the back and be reminded to take it slow because I have to take care of my heart. It is so amazing to be of service to others...to make their load lighter just by being beside them...I find peace in helping...in being one with them. I find joy seeing them smile and feeling grateful for the services I rendered. I believe this is one of my calling...a purpose of how may I serve (as what Dr Wayne Dyer said)

But there is still one beautiful passion I would like to do...to write. To write and let everyone know that love is beautiful...that God is love...that we are made in the likeness of God...that we are a spirit with a body and not a body with a spirit...that as you think, so shall you be (as said by Dr Wayne Dyer) that there is abundance in the universe enough for all of us...I want to impart to everyone this overflowing love I am feeling here in the deep recesses of my broken heart (because of the hole) but was made whole and perfect by the love of our Gracious God!

I do not know where and until when my journey will end...The only thing I know and believe is that God is with me...that HE is an awesome God...HE is the great "I AM"...

TEARS OF JOY

There goes the alarm from husband's mobile phone...it's Sunday (April 10, 2016) five in the morning and this is my second time to go to church to attend a sunday mass since my last miracle in October last year. Don't get me wrong, i do hear mass every sunday on television at six in the morning and i tell you the only difference is the absence of the Holy Eucharist physically. For although it is a TV mass i absolutely know that i am in the presence of God for i can feel HIM inside of me...from the deepest recesses of my perfect heart! So off we go to the nearest church -my husband, my son andmy daughter. I cannot understand why just on our way to church ,travelling smoothly without any distraction, my tears fell.

We were now inside the church and blessing ...there is still one space for me on the last row where i will be sitting comfortably for i can feel the air coming from the outside, only husband remain standing at the back. Come the song Hosanna In The Highest...i really missed this moment of group singing of praises ...so with all my might from the bottom of my heart...i sing Hosanna in the Highest! Huh? Here she is again...my tears...it keeps falling on my face then right into my pastel blouse! Oh my, oh my, my blouse is getting terribly wet...Strenghten me My Lord! I have to compose myself...otherwise i will be crying profusely and may not contain myself...then what? I may not come to the end of the holy mass. I'll miss everything...no,no,no - i can do this! Calmness in me regain!

Now we are to sing the song Our Heavenly Father taught us...

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN
HOLY BE YOUR NAME
YOUR KINGDOM COME
YOU WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IN HEAVEN

GIVE US TODAY
OUR DAILY BREAD
AND FORGIVE US OUR SINS
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE
WHO SIN AGAINST US

DO NOT BRING US TO THE TEST
BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL
AMEN

As i am on the second stanza ...HOLY BE YOUR NAME, i burst into tears again. This time i reach for my tissue on my pocket and start to wipe away my tears.

Lord, i am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and my soul shall be healed...
I fall in line together with husband to receive the holy communion...this is the best thing that ever happened to me this time! Body of Christ...AMEN! As i kneel to thank HIM for this sacred moment,i started crying again. This time...i let it flow...this tears are my healing! This tears are my miracle...this tears are my prayer...i am offering this tears to you my Lord!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

FEELS LIKE HEAVEN!

I almost didn't sleep well last night. I was so Excited...so nervous...so happy and so honored that I am among those thousands of blessed people who are coming to Kerygma Conference to meet our Awesome and Loving GOD. In front of MOA SMX are long lines of participants who are on their way to experience the glory of GOD. Really...this may sound unnatural but I am in tears while getting my way inside of the Conference room. Inside, as Bro. Bo keeps on repeating "people first before thing" i've come to realize that many times during those moments in my life wherein I need to decide on what to do, I failed to put people first before things. And as he prayed over for all of us who are there while we are shoulder up to shoulder with each other - I burst into tears! Oh my GOD this is heaven...this is heaven on earth! This is a great feeling! This is awesome! This is undescribable! This is superb! This is incredible! No words can describe what my heart can feel...oh my GOD ,you're the best!

As each class transpired - the holy mass was explained, does GOD answer our prayers and everything about the wonder of life with GOD...I've come to realize that there is so much love in the world. There is so much love rooted in everyone's heart. For GOD is love! And we are made in the likeness of GOD. And I believe that if we have love and we give love to each one...this whole world will be full of love.

When the conference adjourned, and everybody are on their way out...all are with a smile on their faces. You know this feeling that while walking GOD is with each one of us...walking hand in hand with each one of us...chatting (on my mind) with each one of us...and would you believe that in my sleep - I have the best smile ever! Yes, I did because GOD is with me! I told you this is heaven!!!

November 22, 2014 Saturday 11pm

I'M A WINNER!!!

Thank you so much LORD! This is a blessing from above. Thank you Kerygma Conference! I've been wanting to attend this for so long...thank you sa lahat ng nag like, sa lahat ng naghakot ng likes...sa aking loving husband, my daughter Nikita, my son Nikon, kay Sharie, Marra, Chabee, Mira, Rich and my dearest sister Kett Austria. Thank you so much!GOD bless us all! GOD bless you with your mission KCon! http://kerygmaconference.com/2014/

This is the contest I joined.

And this is the winning piece i wrote!!!

SIMBA

"faster, faster we're late again..." while approaching the church entrance I can almost hear the priest with his homily. " huh, so we're really late again." Hearing mass is a process. Sa misa ay pagdadaanan mo pagpupuri, pagsisisi, pag aalay at pagtanggap. Kaya nga paglabas mo ng simbahan ay mararamdaman mo ang kaligayahan, kalinisan at busilak na puso, pagmamahal at katahimikan ng isip. But this one is kakaiba... nahihiya ba ako kay Lord? Naiinis ba ako sa sarili ko because we're late again, bakit ganito ang pakiramdam? Please, please, please... kalma... focus... nagmimisa... huwag maiinis... "Hay...success!" "Peace be with you" "Ama Namin" "Panginoon, hindi ako karapat dapat na magpatuloy sa Iyo, ngunit sa isang salita mo lamang ay gagaling na ako" And yes, gagaling ako... because the moment I declared these words... I WAS HEALED! So on my way to the altar to receive Him...I am already at peace..." Body of Christ" and I said "AMEN"

"ALL BY MYSELF?"

"Mama, punta tayo All About Baking, may mga bibilhin po ako." My daughter Niki is into her own home-baking business. May mga order siya so she has to buy ingredients na kulang pa. When we arrived at All About Baking, my husband was already there. As you know, his Papa and I are all out support to her baking business. Maybe that's what parents are... more often than not, we are more excited than Niki when she has orders. Kami ang makulit, kami ang laging nagpapaalala, si husband laging binibisita ang oven... nakakatuwa pero to be honest kami talaga ni husband ang kabado. But of course every bake na gawa niya is sooooo delicious!!! Ayan na, tapos na siya mamili... she is now approaching the cashier. Ooops, I have to go to the restroom ... I have to pee... so off I go... When I returned she is already carrying all her pinamili... "mama, why did you leave me when I am about to pay my items? I can't even find Papa to ask for help... wahhh why did you do that?" Ako kasi ang taga bayad niya sa mga binibili nya for she was just starting. "What happenned then?" "P2,500.00 lahat ang napamili ko... tumaas yata ang blood pressure ko... sumakit ulo ko... parang lalagnatin yata ako. "hahaha" I've been longing to do this... to let her do it by herself... I keep telling her that she must learn how to budget her money. When I do the paying, tendency is she just keeps on getting whatever she wants. She overlooks to consider on what item she can save more. Now she learned her lesson. Before going to All About Baking, she makes a list of what she needs and the good thing is she tries to canvass and compare prices now. Thank God, my trip to the restroom had taught her an important lesson needed for her baking business. Now she can do buying her needs all by herself... (you can visit her site at www.pastriesbynikita.tk)

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD

It's raining non-stop since Sunday (Aug. 5) ...I remembered last night my family and I prayed the rosary and we prayed fervently that Our Gracious God will protect all of us ...At 2am we were awakened by flood waters rushing inside our house. " This is it, we have to move out..." my husband told us.
As Nikon and Niki gathered their personal things...I am down on my knees...my body trembled...I am frightened...I can't move...Then my husband asked me to go first. Thank God we rented an apartment on a higher place but also within the same area in anticipation of the Rainy Season because our place is prone to flooding. We moved some of our things there but not our appliances and other things that were heavy to carry. As I left I told myself "let go and let God" this is one thing we cannot control. We can only ask God to protect us all throughout this ordeal. And so we stayed in the rented apartment until the flood subsided.

Since the rented apartment was so small, we have to sleep side by side with each other, thank God for by sleeping together we were able to pray the rosary everyday. We were able to share stories till the wee hours of the morning. We ate together with what was left...canned goods...pandesal, anything that can satisfy our hunger will do. We had a great bonding! By these I felt so blessed for we were together...Rolly, Nikon, Niki and I. Thank you so much, Lord!

The saddest part is when we went back a week later. Nikon and Niki can't believe what they saw...Our refrigerator was half submerged . Our television turned upside down, also with our Washing machine and gas range, stereo component, even Niki's Hair Dryer wasn't spared." We're back to zero now!"

That night we prayed the rosary again. We thanked God we are Alive and together. Yes, our household appliances are gone but we have each other. Yes, My husband and I were in pain for we invested for those things for a very long time but we were thankful we have realized that material things doesn't matter as long as you have Our Gracious God...trust in Him...all things are possible with God!

LORD, ARE YOU THERE?

Have you ever been frightened? Cold feeling… nausea… sweaty palms… fast heartbeats… this is how I am feeling right now. I woke up at three in the morning feeling my heart rushing… I can’t help on thinking “Is this it?” “Will you take me now LORD?” I’ve been taking care of myself ever since I learned I have this ASD (atrial septal defect/or butas sa puso) I want to live more and spend the rest of my happy life with my better half, Rolly and my children Nikon and Niki. Inhale, exhale, pray…pray…pray harder… pray for everybody… pray for my Mom who is far away from us. Pray for my brothers and sister and their families, pray for other people… pray for the sick and the dying… pray for those who have nothing to eat and no home to sleep in… pray for those who have problems… pray for those who are isolated… pray for those who are in their darkest moment… pray for those who have forgotten that there is an ever loving GOD who is always available for us 24/7…my heart beat now is so , so serene… it seems like dancing… it seems so in love… so in love with GOD, our Father. I started to thank HIM… thank you for this moment…

Thank you for giving me a chance to commune with you LORD… I can feel you here beside me… the fear was gone now… my heart is so excited to thank you LORD. My heart beat is rushing to glorify you LORD.

My tears are falling… no words can express how grateful I am that you are taking care of me LORD. All my needs, all my worries, all my burdens… all my fears… YOU are not only leading me to right path… YOU are really carrying me. All the days of my life, you never leave me. Now I will sleep again…no more fears!!! I can now slumber for I know YOU ARE HERE!!!

MY SISTER'S GOOD NEWS!

I can't believe what I heard, "My husband got promoted !" said my sister excitedly. "nag call in ako just so that when my husband gets home, I will be there to congrats him and embrace him." What a couple ! My sister and her husband is maybe on the 17th year of their married life. Truly , there have been ups and downs, thick and thin, plus and minus, joy and sorrow...name it, they've been there.They have weathered every bits and pieces of a married life . No, I believed GOD is not yet done with them. They are still GOD'S creation on process. Yes, there have been changes...Godly changes. Because now, their three sons are constant A-1 students. the eldest will be a future scholar in college next year. My brother in law is an A-1 employee and husband...an A-1 son, and an A-1 brother. My sister is also a supervisor in a company where she is employed. They do help their other siblings and help other people in times of need. I am so happy with the good news...but the real good news is that GOD ANSWERS ALL OUR PRAYERS IN HIS OWN PERFECT TIME!!!

THERE ARE STILL GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

I've heard of his name long ago. I've only seen him on TV healing mass. I never thought I will come face to face with him last Oct. 15, 2011 at the Glorietta Activity Center. It felt like I went back to the time of JESUS when HE healed thousands and thousands of sick people...First we prayed the HOLY ROSARY then came the special healing mass. PAPURI SA DIYOS ! PAPURI SA DIYOS! PAPURI SA DIYOS sa kaitaasan... I can't control my tears...I can't contain the happiness and the joy I felt while singing and I wanted to cry out loud to HIM and said PRAISE YOU LORD FOR YOU CALLED ME HERE...YOU WILL HEAL ME THATS WHY I AM HERE!!! I burst into tears... tears profusely flowing down my cheeks...I can feel HIS EMBRACE, I CAN FEEL HIS IMMENSE LOVE...Here I am in a wheelchair because I cannot walk a long distance. Here I am with the other sick people feeling waiting to be touched. waiting to feel the healing touch of JESUS...And then it happened...one by one HE touched us...I 've seen and read this in the bible...Then my turn came....HE touched my ailing heart and told me I am healed!!! MY GOD. MY GOD, it' was an AWESOME feeling!!! I can't explain how my body felt the warmth that flowed in the inner recesses of my being...This is great! this is awesome! this is indescribable ! This is JESUS healing all of us...then HE asked me to walk and push my wheelchair out to the exit. Then it's still so vivid to me...a couple asked me if I am healed...I said "yes!!!" and they kept on saying a prayers 'GOD BLESS YOU ! GOB BLESS YOU! Of course I do not know how many times I said "thank you, thank you LORD!!! I will never never forget this moment in my life when I have encountered JESUS , THE DIVINE HEALER. I haven't done any heart check up but I can walk long distances and I am back to serving my family. I am doing this to give HIM glory, honor and praise!!! Oh and I won't forget to mention that the LANDMARK and GLORIETTA people were so accommodating and helpful in extending their effort and concerns to us...they see to it that every sick people were comfortably seated and well taken care of. I am lifting them all to you dearest JESUS...Really, there are still good people in this world!!!

MY BIRTHDAY PRAYER

What more can I ask for? Loving Father...I asked that I can finish college and YOU let me finish it. Although it took me 6 years to finish it (add my incomplete grades every time I won't be able to take our final exams due to so many absences because of my heart ailment)...still I received my college diploma. After college...I asked YOU to find me a job so I can help my family, I landed a job in an advertising agency. I enjoyed every day of my life in my newly found job and met the love of my life there. We married and YOU gave us our son and our daughter. The hardest part of course is struggling while we build our family. But YOU are always there...through the sun and the rain...even through the storm. I knew then that it is not only my husband and I...it's GOD, my husband and I. Holding on makes me persevere...praying makes me believe...asking GOD for our daily needs makes my faith stronger than ever. Sometimes I stumbled down...almost felt like drowning...but when I am about to lose my last breath...SOMEONE will carry me and put my feet on the higher ground. Then I will be alive again...HE sent me people who helped. These people made our load lighter. I knew they are heaven sent!!! Today is my birthday...what more can I ask for? I am already 52 and thank GOD for the very colorful 52 years of my life...I still have my husband...thank you for bearing with me. My son is already 23 and is now working. Oh boy, I never knew I can still be very alive when he turned 23. My sweet lady is 21 now and for sure next year she will finished her studies too and find a perfect job for her.

Now there are many restrictions...my heart is getting weaker. Do I really need an operation? GOD please I still want a normal life... I still want to enjoy serving my family. I still want to be a part of their important occasions. I still want to experience loving them and feeling their love...I still want to kiss and hug my husband . I still love to prepare breakfast for them everyday. I knew they can do it by themselves but please...please let me do it for them. I still want to experience life with them...please I still want to be with them. I STILL WANT TO LIVE LONGER!!!

I also have a perfect job...I am happy helping and touching other people's lives. As YOU sent me people whom I can serve through my work...YOU are teaching me of selflessness...as YOU open me to a bigger income...YOU are teaching me honesty and gratitude...as YOU gave me clients who trust...YOU are teaching me of humbleness...and going back to YOU again and again and teaching me that all things comes from GOD!!! MY GOD, I am enjoying my life and savoring every bit of your wisdom and knowledge. I know it's not my will but THY WILL BE DONE... PLEASE...CREATE A NEW HEART IN ME AND RENEW MY LIFE...RESTORE ME TO FULL HEALTH IN BODY. MIND AND SPIRIT...AND AFTER I HAVE BEEN HEALED, MAY I BE A WITNESS OF YOUR HEALING POWER AND LOVE AND BRING YOU GLORY, HONOR AND PRAISE. THESE I PRAY IN JESUS' NAME THROUGH MARY WITH ALL THE ANGELS AND SAINTS. AMEN.

GOD IS REALLY GOOD!

Since I came out of the hospital, everyday is a Present from GOD. Really I felt sorry for taking myself for granted. Those days when my body says "stop and take a rest" I am sorry for I did not listen. I felt I am strong but my heart is not. But I am so thankful GOD gave me another chance. Truly, HE is my only Refuge...HE is my MAKER, HE is my STRENGTH, HE is the DELIVERER , HE is my HIDING PLACE and HE is my LIFE and my LOVE! I knew GOD is not yet through with me. I am still a work in progress. Now I take my life one day at a time. This is the best part of having a break...you have lots of time communing with GOD. And HE always listen. HE never leaves us. I knew...I always feels HIS presence...GOD IS REALLY GOOD!!!

THANK YOU FOR MY FAMILY

On our way to the hospital last August 31, 2011, I do not know how many times I hugged my husband and told him I may pass out. I remembered he hugged me back and told me he will never leave me. "I am here...I will be beside you" My daughter , my son, my brother and his son were also there. They did not leave me too. All throughout my stay in the hospital my husband never left me. I felt their genuine love and care for me. My family are my greatest gift from GOD.

DIVINE INTERVENTION

We've been agonizing with this obligation for how many years now, but today...it's final. We have to settle our home mortgage real soon. "Have you received a letter coming from the Sheriff's office?" asked the Home Mortgage Counselor. " I haven't but if that happens, I have no other recourse but to wait until I have the said amount that is due, but...I really do not know when will this money arrive. The following day, the letter from the Sheriff's office arrived. "This is no joke, they are really serious!" I felt my whole being trembling with fear... "Where will we live? Where will my family end up?" That very moment...everything was frozen. "What will I do now? ", My whole body was numbed, it's as if the whole world stopped...

My heart ached...I'd like to shout and asked the Lord to please have mercy on us..."LORD, are you there?" "Please, please help me, I cannot do this alone!"I thought of my brother. I will call him. I do not know how he would be of any help but this is the only thing that i can think of right now. So I told him my story and asked him if he could help out. I asked him to help me find someone who can lend me the money that i needed and I promised to pay in longer terms as possible so that monthly payment will be easier . I even told him that I really do not know why it's him that I called. It seem someone whispered his name to me.

The sad part according to him is that he cannot be allowed to acquire a loan because he still has an existing loan to settle. Then there was a very deafening silence...a very loud silence... Again, I earnestly prayed...Please dear LORD help him...help us! Then right then and there he called his office and negotiate with the loan. As they were negotiating, it rained very hard...so hard that it's as if GOD is telling me ..."Rejoice, for your prayers will be answered! " As the rain keeps falling on our rooftop, so is my tears keep falling on my cheeks. Then I heard my brother said "prayer answered!" they'll let me have another loan , deduct the first existing loan balance and get the exact amount you need after the computation. " The other good news is that it is payable for five years at an amount you exactly prayed for."

The exact prayer I said...the very exact amount I needed and the very exact amortization I asked for! I believed GOD knew my dilemma ever since. And ever since "HE" is weaving every single fiber of my being and the people who will be "HIS" channel in fulfilling my fervent prayer. My brother with his wife , my husband and I, all of us were in tears. Tears of joy for an answered prayer. Tears of overwhelming feelings because a miracle...a great DIVINE INTERVENTION unfolded into our very own eyes. Also, thank you so much for giving me a brother and a sister who understands. I am so blessed for having them. They are my gift from GOD! And GOD, I knew "HE" was there, I knew "HE" will never forsake us ...Thank you OUR GRACIOUS FATHER IN HEAVEN!!!

ON MY KNEES

On my knees I pray to you HEAVENLY FATHER to grant me courage to walk with faith in my heart that YOU are here beside me now...touch my heart and every inch of my body and make me well. Grant me strength to face anything that will come into my life today. Bless my family, my friends, the sick and the dying, the company I am working with, bless those who have no one to pray for them, bless those who have forgotten you, bless those who have no food to eat and no shelter to live in. bless our country and our leaders. Bless us all and please answer all our prayers. LORD ABBA ...let your heart's desire be done into our life. Thank you for this moment I am communing with you...Thank you for being my healer, my comforter , my patience, my wonderful counselor, my provider... All these I pray in the name of JESUS, AMEN.

Niki's Baby Patsy

When she came, everyone in the family looked with awe and joy. She is so tiny and so cute as she moved and buried her face into Niki's tummy. Her paws are so soft and her eyes are so tantalizing. Every time we talk to her, her ears will sway as if she understands what we are saying. And she is very good in getting Niki's attention by crying non-stop when she is hungry, going round and round in circles when she wants to poop or pee. Niki would kiss and hug her during playtime. Oh how she would jump so high to amaze us. She is really the apple of our eyes!

Having Baby Patsy at home is like having a real baby also. We considered her as a new addition to our family. I remember bathing her once with Niki and Rolly...she was so behaved and enjoyed the water so much. How I long to hold her but sad to say I am afraid of dogs so I just content myself of holding her when she is asleep.

Welcome to our family Baby Patsy...and may you grow into a wonderful doggie !

What We Did For Love

It's a Sunday and a family day. Niki, our youngest has a catering service to do. Her menu is Southern-style fried chicken with coleslaw, Barbequed hickory pork ribs, Spaghetti, and Pineapple Upside-down Cake. The food must be delivered at 10am for a Father's day celebration. She started cooking at 6am but is done with the spaghetti sauce the night before. Even then it seems she can't make it to the agreed time of delivery.

My husband who was still in bed and although he wanted to savor his special day because it's Fathers' Day started to assist her daughter with the coleslaw. Hmmmm...it seems I have to extend also my help so I started putting breadings into the chicken while Niki was into frying and baking at the same time. Our eldest who saw the bayanihan started firing up the charcoal and began with the Pork barbeque ribs. "let's volt in" seemed to be our unified motto. And not long after the said volt in, we're done!

A family must be closely knit...extending help when needed...not waiting to be asked. I believed its our love for our sweet Niki that prompted us to lend a hand and finished the job. It's what we did for love that the result are satisfied customers. Niki received lots of kudos...for a perfectly cooked food...

Although we celebrated Father's day the following day, we were so happy and overflowing with joy for a job well done...its what we did for love...

Answered Prayer

As my son Nikon wore his toga and prepared for the processional, I felt teary eyed…I never thought I could witness this – my son’s graduation. I married at 29 and Nikon was our first born. But my heart ailment makes me fear that I may not witness his college graduation. But with GOD’S amazing grace…with GOD’S constant care of my defective heart …with GOD’S straws of overwhelming daily dose of reminder that HE will restore me to full health in body, mind and spirit…HE gave me a new heart. And now here I am together with my very supportive husband and all the other grateful parents cheering and giving thanks to GOD for an ANSWERED PRAYER…

Goodbye Missy

+Missy, Feb. 27, 2011
Goobye our loving and faithful friend. We are missing you very much!
I have nothing more to say or write because no words can describe our deep sorrow.

Priceless Media Noche

I had a priceless media noche last New Year's eve, December 31, 2010. Tradisyon naming apat sa pamilya ang mag-exchange gift but this time hindi regalo kundi sulat that express everything about sa kung sino ang nabunot mo . And I received the best gift ever from my son who picked up my name. Let me share you his lovely letter...

Mama,

What could some kid ask for in a Mom? Caring? Understanding? Loving? These are some traits that compose you. Thanks for being caring when we don't feel well and not in the mood for something. Thanks for being understanding, for being "always the one who understands"even though you feel that we are wrong in our decisions. Thanks for being loving even though you really have a family thats hard to love.Thanks for always being there, thanks for being my Mom.

Your Son,

Nikon

Ang sarap maramdaman ang pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga ng isang anak...This is a perfect gift anak!
I love you so much...Your Papa, Niki and you are my greatest gifts from GOD!!!

MISSY

I am having a hard time watching her sleep with her very small house. She can't make up her mind what comfortable position she can have. She lay down with her two feet on the air, Again , she positioned herself standing. She sat down. Hay Missy ...forgive me for not taking care of your needs. You are six months old now but you haven't received your rabies injection yet. I can't buy you a house that will fit you in comfortably. I do not have the resources to do it but I wanted to, really... So I prayed...prayed harder that HE give me enough cash to spend for Niki's beautiful Missy Oh, our Gracious Father is really so gracious...true to HIS word that when you ask, you will receive. He gave me 3K for her house which we immediately bought. A client called up and signed for a contract of one lot and paid. And true to my promise I asked Niki to send her to the Vet and we also bought the dog house that fits her. Now there is enough space for her to move. Missy is so playful . Even without a playmate , she keeps on running back and forth our front yard. She never gets tired of playing. Oh, Missy, Missy...our beautiful Missy !!!