5plus1equals6

WE ARE GOING TO ETHIOPIA!!!

2016-12-25T16:57:00.003-08:00

Friday, December 16, 2016 we got the call we have been waiting for since seeing our sweet boy's face in Oct of 2015.
I had just finished putting the ingredients in the crock pot to take to a Christmas party that evening when the phone rang. It was our agency...

All I remember saying over and over is "are you kidding me?" I hit my knees in the kitchen and put the phone down saying thank you Lord, thank you Lord. I'd pick it up and tell her I needed just a one more minute and put it back on the floor. I finally got myself together enough to understand her say "call your husband and ask him if Thurs, Dec 29 will work for court and call me back." I called Roger, Momma & Emily. I just remember literally jumping up and down for a min and then being on my knees sobbing.

I had been wondering what in the world this moment would be like.

The next few days were a mix of shock, overwhelming gratitude to the Lord, joy, anxiety, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could barely think. I knew one thing I couldn't wait to get to the Lord's house on Sunday. We scheduled flights and started packing. We were to fly out Fri Dec 23rd and land Sunday, Christmas Day. Because we were going to be in country our agency moved our Court Date up to Tuesday the 27th.

We planned Christmas with our families for the Thursday night before we left and began packing & tying up loose ends with work.

The emotions were coming and going like a wave and honestly it was almost too much. I asked the Lord just to settle me down. Give me a peace. Calm me. We took the kids to see Star Wars and I was just fine and then right in the middle of it another wave came. It was a roller coaster of emotions that were difficult to manage.

Thursday Dec 22 came and our #3's cough turned in to a really bad can't breath painful circumstance that ended up with us in ER and before I knew it the dr was telling me he would be transported to Macon to the children's hospital. Elim began to cry. I sat down on the bed and looked into his eyes and said "You are more important than an airplane. Remember what we talked about this morning? What does Immanuel mean?" I asked him to tell me out loud and he did "God with us." "That's right baby boy, God is here with us, right here in the hospital room and everything will be just fine."

We were supposed to fly out the next day to Ethiopia.

I remember thinking... Is this really happening? Like, is.this.really.happening.

Roger was at home with the other kids with my daddy & I sent him a text that read "I need you here now."

What is happening? What's wrong with him? How long will we be there?
Can our court date even be moved? Do we cancel our flights?

A call from a brother in Christ reminding me that I have died and my life is hidden in Christ (Col 3:3) was exactly what I needed to hear.

I called our travel agent (HUGE Shout out to Erica Shubin with MKI travel. That girl!) she helped me focus, asked a few questions and within about 1 hour had alternative flights for a few days later.
I called our agency and she said no worries, we'll put court back to Thursday the 29th.

Roger and E drove away in the ambulance and I stood there with Reid praying.

At this point there were 2 different decisions we could make.

Get really angry with the Lord.
OR
Trust Him and not my own understanding.

We decided to trust the Lord. I went home, took down all of the Christmas decorations, cleaned the house, and piled up on the couch with my boys and we watched Pete's Dragon while we waited for updates from Roger.

Slowly the peace came. He was there. Immanuel, our God with us. There with us on the couch, there with Roger in the ambulance. God is so good to us. In the midst of utter chaos He sustains, strengthens, assures, provides, all the while giving the Body of Christ the opportunity to pull together and pray and encourage. Text message after text message from our church staff and family and from FB friends offering their homes if we needed a place to stay. If there's one thing the Lord does in a difficult circumstance is He brings unity & generosity! One our people came up there and stayed with Roger spending the night & most of the next day! OUR VILLAGE GAME IS STRONG PEOPLE!!

We discharged from Macon on Friday, the 23rd around 7pm and came home. They ended up treating him for acute asthma and gave us 2 inhalers. He is home and fine taking it easy.

Deep Breath.......

We are leaving tonight, Sun, Dec 25 to drive to Atlanta for our flight at 5:30am in the morning.
We'll land in DC and catch a new flight that will take us directly to Ethiopia landing on Tues, Dec 27th around 7:30am. We have court Thursday the 29th and at that point we will take custody of him and SHOW YOU HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!!!!!!!

We may never know this side of heaven why our time was delayed here but we trust in our sovereign God.
I do know that the devil hates anything that is of the Lord and adoption is a picture of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lord has a heart for the orphan and the goal of our enemy is to steal, kill, and destroy anything that is of the Lord.

I do know that the Lord has the final say and in the end HE WINS. He always has the victory.

This situation with Elim has settled me emotionally. No more waves of overwhelming emotions.
I am peaceful and ready for the task at hand relying solely and placing all confidence in our God.

Roger, Cameron and myself will be traveling and Roger and Cameron will be returning on Tues, Jan 3rd in Atlanta around 2:30pm.

I will stay behind with #4 & obtain the paperwork necessary to BRING HIM HOME!! Prayerfully this can be accomplished in a week or 2.

Ways to pray:

*For many opportunities to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with many.

*Safe traveling

*For immediate connection with our son

*For open doors & favor with government officials and all involved finalizing his documentation so we can exit the country.

*For Cameron. This is his first time on a plane & in another country. This was a specific prayer request that the Lord would financially provide so that we could bring him. We are praying the Lord would use this to reveal Himself to Cameron is ways he has never experienced, that He would draw Cameron closer to Himself and that He would use this later in His life. (It gets me so excited to think about!!!)

*That God would be glorified in every aspect of our time there and traveling.

*For our children back home. For E to remain healthy.

THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!

We are going to ETHIOPIA!!!

last picture of us!! *tears*

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

As I am lifted up from the Earth, I will draw all everyone to Myself. -Jesus

2016-08-11T07:58:00.001-07:00

This is probably my favorite blog post because it has nothing to do with us & everything to do with the Lord. There are several stories only He could write and I wanted to share them!

So here we are lifting up HIS NAME.

Story #1 The day we met our son

April 2016

You might remember about this time last year me posting to Facebook about a sweet lady, Stefanie, that LIVES DOWN THE STREET FROM US knocking on the door one Sunday afternoon and saying "we heard that you are adopting from Ethiopia & I just wanted to let you know we will be moving to Ethiopia in October (2015) to serve as missionaries & we are happy to take your baby anything it needs."

At that time we didn't know if we would be matched with a boy or a girl.
1 or 2.
And had no idea how old he or she or they would be!

October of 2015 came and this sweet family found out their departure date was delayed.

October of 2015 also came and we were matched with our SON!!

They found out they would be leaving in January of 2016 and again Stefanie said she would take anything we wanted her to take to him!!

So, we made him a book of us to send with her.

Our picture was on the front along with John 3:16.

Pictures of Roger and I that said "momma & daddy."

Pages of the kids together and individually with their names and ages showing him his brothers.

Pictures of grandparents & our cat, Wrigley Ann.

Pictures of our house, his bed where he will sleep, the yard, the kids at the beach, playing soccer in front of our church.

We also included a storying scarf we got from the IMB that's used around the world as you minister to oral learners and asked her to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with our son using this.

You can find one here: http://imbresources.org/index.cfm/product/detail/prodID/1619

Our agency told us our son did not know about us and they would not tell him until we were submitted to PAIR, which is one of the final stages we are currently in!

So........on Thursday April 28, 2016 at 2:30am (our time) Stefanie along with her son, our gracious new Ethiopian friend Fekadu who translated for her, visited the care center in Ethiopia and she introduced our son to us.

Roger and I got all of the kids up and sat on the couch & got to FaceTime with him for about 30 minutes. <insert cry face>

Fekadu's face came on the screen first, then to Stefanie's face and then Fekadu said "are you ready for your boy?"

HOW CAN I BE READY FOR THIS MOMENT?!?!!?

We said yes and saw his face. The sweetest, cutest, most precious face I've ever seen. He was smiling and holding the book we sent him. Looking through the pages pointing and looking back at us.

It's still overwhelming when I think about. Stefanie and her family were supposed to leave in October & THIS would not have happened if she would have left then. We didn't even know about our son at that time. What a gift. A gift from the Lord. In His sovereignty He arranged this moment. I can't describe to you my thoughts.

Stefanie is also an adoptive momma. She said she prayed over him and loved on him from me. The Lord just knew it needed to be her. She has identified with the waiting, the longing, the hard, the ups and downs, the delays, the victories. All of it, she knew and wrapped her arms around our son with all of that in her heart.

The voice we have longed to hear, the face we have longed to see smile and giggle. We saw him and he saw us. And he knows he is loved and wanted by 5 crazy americans across the big pond.

The first thing he asked was "when are you coming?" We didn't make any promises but told him as soon as we could! He told us his favorite color is yellow and as Malachi held up Wrigley to the phone he said "I no like cats!" We might be in trouble ;) He showed us his bed and we showed him his here. The boys were so excited to meet him. Elim is going to be stuck to him like glue I can already tell <3 At one point we were making fishy-kiss faces to each other. I can't WAIT squeeze himmmmmmmm!!!!!!!

After we hung up Stefanie shared the Gospel with him using the pictures on the story cloth and said that he has been attended a Protestant church and has seen the Jesus film! We are SO GRATEFUL!!

Stefanie, thank you so much for doing this for us. We are forever grateful. I can't wait to hug your neck in Ethiopia soon! We are continuing to pray for your family as you serve Jesus in Africa!

Story #2: a visitor

May 2016

My friend Danielle who is adopting 2 children was traveling to Ethiopia THE VERY NEXT MONTH to visit her kids and graciously offered to take him a package from us. Some of the things he specifically asked for while we were Face timing with him were a book bag, some crayons and coloring pages so he's got it :) Along with pjs, blue crocs from Aunt Em, suckers, some of the boys favorite cars, fresh paintings & a precious story book that we recorded our voices reading to him.

Earlier in the month of April my best friend put together a surprise birthday party for him. Including an incredible cake that my sweet friend Karen made & gifts from everyone for him. <insert many many tears> So we included a couple of pictures from that party in with this care package. This is a picture of him holding the picture we sent.

Our first picture together (cry face)

She videoed him opening his book bag . Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry faccccccccccccccccccce.

He was grinning the whole time!!!!! Couldn't hardly wait to get inside of it and see what treasures his family sent him!!

Welcome to the gun show ;)

look what's on his shirt #4 :)

This timing of this visit is God ordained & was the first step in establishing trust with him. He asked us for a bookbag with color book and crayons and then the very next month it showed up. This is huge!

Danielle I can't thank you enough for this treasure. Thank you for loving on him while you were there. I know you know just how much this means. We are praying for Mek's paperwork!

Story #3: Another visitor

June 2016

A fellow adoptive momma with our agency traveled to Ethiopia to get their daughter and while she was there she spent some time with our #4!!! She sent me these pictures. She said he was thrilled to show her his book we sent him.

Thank you so much Addie for visiting with him and loving on him for us! Are continued prayers are with your family as guys as you transition home with your daughter!

Story #4: another visitor

August 2016

Danielle is in Ethiopia right now & has passed court with her son and is waiting for paperwork to be finalized so they can pass court with their daughter. Would you please pray this is quickly resolved so they can all come home?

She's been visiting with our son at the Care Center while she was there and sent us these pictures <3

They played hacky sac and she said he made up his own ruled to tic tac toe :) Rascal <3

that smile tho!

We are praying Danielle! Love you friend!

Story #5 another visitor

August 2016

My friend Tisha who has adopted 5 children from Ethiopia is there THIS week as well for her Organization called A Heart for Korah.

I encourage you to check it out! She's been posting families that are available for sponsorship on their FB page and on their Instagram. This is a way for you to:

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly, defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

-Proverbs 31:8-9

The rainy season is beginning and the temperature drops in Ethiopia. Tisha was gracious enough to take a care page over to our son for us!! She visited with him this week and gave it to him.

Here are a few pictures.

sitting on his bed

This hoodie was a hand me down from our neighbors. I was so excited to text her and tell her it made it all the way to Ethiopia!!

This kid!! He smiles all the time!!!!!!

We stand in awe of You, Jesus.

There's no way in the world we could have arranged all of these visits!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a thrill & privilege to be used as Your hands to extend love.

I hope you are SEEING JESUS my friends!!!!!!!!!!
Look at the people He has sent to love on him!

The story of his life God is writing, it is incredible. There is no mistaking the hand of the Lord all over it. He is seen and known by the Creator of the Universe.
There is a plan for his life and while we live in this broken world and we can never replace his birth mother and father we are so ready to receive & love him.

SO WHEN CAN WE GO GET HIM??

That's the bazillion dollar question.

As I have been composing this post we received an email for the FINAL step of our PAIR process with the US Embassy. An interview with his finder.
After this interview is complete we will be issued a PAIR letter and will be DONE with the paperwork! #chills

The next thing is to receive a positive recommendation from MOWA on his case and be issued a court date! THEN WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

We are inline with several other families waiting for this positive comment already. I have zero idea of the time frame. All I know to do is pray.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 12:12

Pray for his finder interview to be completed, if it is missed and has to be rescheduled it would delay us for weeks.

Pray for a flood of positive comments to be issued and court dates to be given. (The courts are closing for rainy season and will re-open end of September.)

Pray that our eyes will remain on Jesus and not the months passing by, that our faith will be strengthened and that He will continue to be honored in our wait.

He knows. He sees and He knows. That is my greatest comfort. And we are clinging to His promises.

We can't thank you enough for interceding for us. For stopping us & asking how it's going and immediately praying with us right then. For the random texts and prayer cards that arrive just at the right time.

I wish I were better with words like my friend Candace but I'm not.

We are in awe of our God and His perfect timing and undeserving grace.

Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory,

for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!

Psalm 115:1

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the Light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.

Psalm 107:28-29

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for Him to act.

Psalm 37:7

Even when I must walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff reassure me.

Psalm 23:4

You will keep perfectly peaceful the one whose mind remains focused on you, because he remains in you.

Isaiah 26:3

#allthethings

2016-02-19T07:08:00.000-08:00

The battle has intensified since October when we got the news of our son.

Fighting to keep my eyes fixed on the things unseen, you know Jesus and eternity vs. the things seen, you know, the weeks and months passing, the email not there, other cases moving forward in their process and the list goes on and on.

Its this hard thing of wanting to close so my eyes so I don't see it all. Thinking that will help me not be so stirred up all the time & I can focus more on Jesus.

If I could just close my eyes that will help me tarry in this blissful state of not knowing and seeing so I won't have to fight the battle. But if I close my eyes that won't stop my mind from wandering. Oh but if my mind is distracted by the upcoming wedding season it will shift my attention and thoughts on someTHING else and I won't refresh my email every 5 minutes. That honestly sounds much easier.

Hogwash.

We are in a BATTLE for crying out loud. And it's not against the adoption agency or the in country staff or your husband or your boss or your fill-in-the-blank.
It's against the world, our flesh & against our enemy the thief who wants to kill us and steal from us and DESTROY us & evil rulers & authorities of the unseen world. John 10:10 / Eph 6:12

I can't close my eyes and wish for peaceful easy dreaming of rainbows and unicorns or sitting by the water with my Bible and feeling the cool breeze on my face, although that would be REALLY nice about right now.

I can put on my armor of God & trust in my Sword. Depending on the Holy Spirit to help me with the confidence according to His Word that He hears me and as I draw close to Him He promises to draw close to me knowing He is fighting for us. Empowered by the Holy Spirit putting to death the desires of my flesh and using my eyes & mind for righteousness sake. Seeing the whole picture with fixing my focus on Christ and renewing my mind with His Word.

I shout from the roof tops GOD IS GOOD and WHO IS LIKE OUR GOD when things are going good, but what about in the valleys? Because we are weary and weak and feel guilt from our lashing out in our flesh day to day out of bitterness and frustration on the delay of the thing, worried about the weeks ahead. Hand raised-my current situation.

Who or what really is my treasure? My thing? Who or what am I waiting on?

The child? The job? The good report? The house? The promise fulfilled?

All of those things are good, but they can all be taken away. Then what's left?

The things unseen, the things of eternity, eternal value, things that will never pass away.
And will always satisfy. The Person of Jesus Christ. I know how weak I am. I know the potential of my pride. I know my wandering heart, Lord I feel it. Proned to leave the God I love.

It's my greatest fear. Getting to the end of this current thing in my life that the Lord is sanctifying me with, obtaining the earthly prize and forgetting Him. The thing I've longed for, prayed for, lost sleep over, raised money for, worried over for so long....... I get it and then what?

Oh Lord bind me heart to Thee. Take my heart and seal it. Don't let me become proud and boastful and forget You.

Keep my eyes FIXED on you. You are my Treasure. You are my reward. You are the prize. You are the goal. Becoming more like You is my desire.
Help me Lord Jesus not to long for ANYTHING more than You. Not to go to the well for water in any other place for satisfaction other than Your well of Living Water. For You alone satisfy. I want to hunger and thirst for righteousness MORE than this child. Jesus set my mind on things above, not on the things that are on this Earth. Because I have died with You and my life is hidden with You.
Thank You for grace. And fresh mercy waiting for me every morning. And for the occasional mountain tops. You are faithful in it all.

May ALL THE THINGS grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

THE CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2015-10-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have wondered for 4 years what it would feel like to type this.....

WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The call came last Friday. I had just picked up the boys from school & was pulling into the ATM in Leesburg when she initially called to "check in on us & ask me a few questions" and then said "ok I'll check in with you later."
30 min's later she called back & said "Ok, I have a file for you. It's a boy. He just turned 6. Are you interested?" UMMMMMM YES MA'AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was shaking and covering my mouth bc it was the UGLY CRY as I was driving us home! It was 4:15pm and Roger couldn't come home until after 5pm but I meant I was not going to open that email without him!!

They gave us the weekend to pray through it and ultimately gave us two weeks to make a decision but after a series of events by Monday evening we knew he was ours!!! We called our agency Tuesday morning after Bible Study and said YES!!! He’s OURS!!

After we hung up we cried and thanked Jesus and cried some more.

I went on to Wal-Mart and attempted to grocery shop. I was grinning like an idiot at every stranger I saw. Feeling like I had a HUGE secret I wanted to shout out to the whole store but knew not everyone would get it or understand so I just grinned and said hey. I ran into a friend from church and just couldn't hold it any longer. WE JUST GOT A REFERRAL & showed her his picture!! :):):):)
I managed to get most of what we needed and bought a 5x7 frame so we could print his picture and tell the boys that night.
I fixed their supper and waited as patiently as I could for them to get done and called them all over to the couch & hit record on my phone.

I have been in a fog the past week.
Hard to keep my thoughts together.
Can't stop smiling. Still feels surreal like I can't believe it's happened!
**We can not post personal information about him online including his name & picture** BUT I am happy show you in person. Please ask me & I will gladly show you :)

Wednesday we mailed off another packet of acceptance paperwork & got our PRAISE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what’s next?

*Pray. For the Lord to begin preparing the soil of his heart to receive the seed of the GOSPEL & for him to be LOVED BIG when he gets here!
*Pray for much grace. There will be gain on our end of welcoming him into our family but significant loss in his life. Jesus be near, in, all, around, before, behind. I don't know what else to say.
*Fundraising for travel funds.
*Our agency still has several documents that need to be gathered before he can be submitted to US immigration approval. This can take anywhere from a few weeks, to several months or I’ve heard in some cases over a year.
Would you pray with us that these documents will be easily gathered so he can be submitted by Christmas?(that would be the best GIFT EVER!)
*After approval we are assigned a court date in Ethiopia.
*BUY AIRPLANE TICKETS TO ETHIOPIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’ll meet him, go to court, come home while those documents are being processed then take a second trip back to get him & bring him home FOREVER!!

O Lord, I will honor & praise Your Name, for You are my God.

You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago and now you have accomplished them!

Is 25:1

There is still much to accomplish but as of this week we are basking in the greatness and grace of our God.
The One Who is continuing to do the work He began.
The One who is Faithful and accomplishes His plans.
He who makes the crooked paths straight.
Who brings the mountains low & makes a path no one knew was even there.

Who are we Lord, who are we.

We give praise to Your matchless and majestic Name.
There is none like You, Father.

None like You.

Don't give up hope my friend if you are in a season of waiting.
God is not a far off God. He is near. He hears, He see's, He is aware of your circumstances in life right at this very moment.
The gift of His presence & our salvation is enough.
Take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on Christ.
HE IS OUR REWARD.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Heb 12:2

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Cor 4:18

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on Earth. For you have died & your life in hidden with Christ in God.

Col 3:2-3

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

One joyful momma of FOUR BOYS {i still can't believe it!!!!}

Ps- You might be saying to yourself, wait, I thought this was supposed to be a girl who's name would be Lily.

Well my friend, I did too. The humbling thing about surrendering your life to Christ is that it's every part of your life. Your hopes, your dreams, your plans, your desires. You delight in Him and He'll make your dreams, hopes and desires into His and it will be EVEN be better than you could ever imagine. It will be His Best.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Isaiah 55:8

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Eph 3:20

Obedience

2015-02-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

This is Jesus speaking:

When you obey My commandments, you remain in My love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in His love.

John 15:10

How do we remain/abide in His love?

How did Jesus remain/abide in His Father's love?

Through obedience.

Through obeying His commands.

What was the Father's command for His Son? What was His will for Jesus?

But it was the LORD's good plan to crush Him and cause Him grief. Yet when His life is made an offering for sin, He will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's good plan will prosper in His hands.

Isaiah 53:10

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him.

John 3:17

God's plan was for His Son Jesus to die.

To crush Him.

For Him to suffer.

Rejected.

Beaten.

Betrayed.

To die.

And Jesus willingly obeyed His Father's command. Jesus was obedient....to death.

I dare say Obedience = suffering & at times death

Dying to our flesh, daily. For myself, minute by minute.

Jesus loved His Father and wanted to please His Father.

The expression of His love was His obedience.

He showed His Father how much He loved Him by submitting to His plan for Him to die.

Do we obey God's commands for a reward?

For a "blessing?"

Are we obeying Him just to receive something something out of it? A personal gain? A desire of the flesh satisfied?

Do we tithe "so we'll have all of our financial needs met" or do we simply tithe because God's Word says to tithe and because we love God and want to please Him we obey His Word?

Are we obeying to adopt so we'll have a cute little girl running around here with a pink tutu & converse and take super cute pictures of her to paste all over social media and my heart will be fulfilled having a girl to complete our tribe?

I confess to you it has taken me almost 3 years to come to the place of obedience with out a reward along this adoption road.

I say it to my kids all the time.

"My desire is for you to obey because you love me, not out of fear of discipline or for a reward."

What was Jesus' reward? Knowing He pleased His Father's plan for His life.

John 15: 11 is what got me this morning....

I have told you these things so that you will be filled with My joy.

Yes, your joy will overflow!

John 15:11

Jesus knew that obedience brings joy! That's what He's telling us these things.

When we obey we will be filled with HIS Joy.

The JOY of obedience.

Obedience = Suffering = Joy

I know, it's a mystery.

Not all obedience is easy, fun, feels good. In fact is produces suffering. But that suffering leads to JOY! His joy. Not joy from things of this world.

It sheds a whole 'nother light on:

The joy of the Lord is your strength!

Neh 8:10

Obedience leads to sacrifice. A giving up of something. A surrendering.

All throughout scripture obedience resulted in sacrifice.

When God told Abraham in Gen 12:1 to "leave your native country, your relatives & your father's family, and go to the land I will show you" he sacrificed & gave up a lot! And then God told Abraham to kill his only son Isaac as a sacrifice in Gen 22. Hello! But each time Abraham was obedient to God's command.

God's sacrifice for us was giving up His one and only Son.

He gave Him up so that WE would have eternal life.

Obedience may not feel good, make sense at times; chances are its in direct opposition to what your flesh desires but if you obey God's command and His will, it will lead to JOY. And that joy will be your STRENGTH.

Standing on the edge, choosing obedience, knowing it might result in a lot of suffering but knowing it will please the Lord when we walk in obedience is enough.

Dying to self and living life through the lens of eternity, the forever battle until Heaven.

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

On the shore of Haiti.

"Lily" in Haiti!

2015-02-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a little bit about our trip to Haiti this past summer!

I had no idea what to expect on this trip just that Emily and I would be teaching Vacation Bible School to about 100 children in a small village just outside of Petite Goave called Morne Tapion.
We broke down the book of Esther into 4 days and had a craft for the boys & a craft for the girls specific for that day to go along with the lesson.

The place where all of this went down was at a school in the village. They wereon vacation (summer break) so the school was used as a gathering place to teach VBS, hold medical clinic for adults in the village, feed the kids and for CPA to lead a Women's Bible study.

The plan was the teach the kids the lesson combined with a translator and then split with Emily taking the girls & me with the boys for crafts. Our first craft were crowns!
It was extremely challenging to communicate with these kids due to our lack of French/Creole & only having 1 translator.We did a lot of holding things up and showing them what to do. They are super smart :)

The boys Day 1.

There were a LOT of kids the first day!

Day 1 I noticed there was a significant amount of small children and a handful of older ones. Older meaning 12+. There was one in particular that was in the back of the room. His name is Ydson, pronounced "Edson." He was quiet but participated. He wasn't loud or seeking attention. He had a gentle disposition and was willing to help me with the smaller ones if I asked him. I was drawn to him & wanted to know more about his story when time allowed.

After craft time we did recreation and passed out some small light up footballs and got out the bubble guns. They loved it!

And a local climb up a coconut tree with his machete and cut off the top for us to drink some fresh coconut juice! It was warm and sweet!

Day 3 was the day in our lesson we prepared to share the Gospel. Our craft that day were salvation bracelets.

The challenge with so many children is that it's hard to do things with few hands. Emily and I laid in the bed the night before and begged the Lord for wisdom in just logistically and simply presenting the Gospel and executing the craft so that it would be as effective as possible. Knowing the Holy Spirit is Who draws the salvation but wanting the lesson do be done the best way possible with as much organization as we could.
Up until Day 3 we had gathered all of the children in one room, boys & girls for the Bible teaching and Em took the girls and I took the boys for craft but by Day 3 there were SO MANY more kids.

We ended up after the lesson taking a small group, around 40, into a separate room with Emily and I & a translator and doing the craft and then bringing in another set of kids. It worked perfectly and we praised Him for the insight He gave! We were able to easily communicate the Gospel and each color of the salvation bracelet & what they symbolized! They repeated to us what each meant and we really felt they understood!

Towards the end of the craft we asked if anyone in the room had accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and several of them raised their hands, including Ydson! I was thrilled and relieved all at the same time!! I turned my back from them and just thanked the Lord for Ydson's salvation! I have no idea why I had this reaction. I guess bc I had been wondering if he was saved but just couldn't get to him to talk! My thoughts immediately went to discipleship, accountability, mentorship, what's his prayer life like, has he been baptized. Does he have a Bible? Who is pouring in to young man's life and teaching him God's Word?! I longed for some time with him to talk!!

They asked for soccer balls during recreation and we didn't have any with us so when we went to market that afternoon we bought them boys some soccer balls!

Emily snapped some pictures of Ydson and I playing keep away with some of the other boys!

One afternoon we had some down time and I asked one of the boys, name Regal who knew English if he would be willing to translate for me bc I really wanted to sit down with Ydson and know more about him. I wanted to know how long he had been saved, if he was an orphan or lived at home with his parents. I just wanted to talk with him. He said sure. Turns out, Regal the translator & Ydson are cousins.

So we pulled up a couple of chairs and Ydson was looking at me like I was a crazy blanc (white) and I could tell he wasn't sure what was going on . I told Regal our translator to tell him that I was a momma of 3 boys, the oldest being 13 & that the Lord had fashioned my heart for boys and I that is why I was drawn to him. I begin to show him pictures of my husband and children on my phone and after a few minutes he felt comfortable enough to ask me a few questions.

He wanted to know what school was like in the States so I told him what an average day looked like for Cameron and what his activities consisted of. He wanted to know about soccer and sports so I told him about Roger coaching with the church soccer and that my boys played.

Then I asked him some questions.

He told me the date he was saved and said he had not been baptized. He is not an orphan and lives with his family. His father is a masonary and his mother makes and sells things. He is 17 and in the 7th grade and loves school. He has 3 sisters and 1 brother and they were all there.

As we were talking a young woman came up and pulled up a chair and sat down. She had been there all week and was a familiar face. She began asking Regal, the translator, questions to me. Was I married, did I have children, how old were they. After she learned that we have all boys she said "You need a girl!" I pointed to my stomach and told her that I couldn't have children any longer and she grabbed my arm with the look of sadness on her face. After a few minutes of trying to explain that we were adopting she finally understood. I told her that we were open to a boy or a girl.
She asked me what would I name her if we had a girl and I told her LILY.

Regal, our translator, busted out laughing.

I asked him what he was laughing at and this was his response as he pointed to Ydson....

"That is his nickname in the village; Lily. They have called him that his whole life."

Ydson's nickame in the village is Lily.

What.in.the.WORLD.

I stood up and tried to find Emily with my eyes since she was the ONLY one there who would get why in the WORLD I was sitting there with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't find her so I sat there in the center of all of those faces staring at me and all I could say was "Jezi" which means Jesus.

Please don't read this and think that I think of this as some sort of sign because I don't.
I really don't. I do think, I KNOW, the Lord is intimately involved in a every detail of our lives though and that little moment in the village on the side of a mountain in Haiti that day was no happen stance.

The very last day was my favorite time with Ydson. From the moment I found out he was saved I wanted to talk with Him about the Lord and see what his relationship with Christ looked like. Before we left I took out my Bible and Ydson, Regal and myself stood there and talked about God's Word. He thumbed through the pages like he had never seen one before, looking at the front and back, scanning the pages with his hands. Come to find out he doesn't-well didn't- own one.
He does now! And so does Regal.

Regal to the left & Ydson to the right.

"This book is more important than any other book you have, Ydson.Treasure this Book & read it everyday." We talked that day about creation, fruit of the Spirit, Proverbs, lust, purity, him leading his brothers & sisters. I wished so badly we could have talked for several hours but we only little time left. Since then, I've prayed some of the same prayers for Ydson that I have my own boys.

To say that I'm excited to see him again and hear all about what God has done in his life over this past year is an understatement. I'm OVER THE MOON excited!!

If it's the Lords will, we will return to Haiti this July and Roger and Cameron will go with us! I left burdened for discipleship with those older kids. (Esp the boys) They are the next generation growing up in that village. They are the next leaders! Roger is preparing several lessons to teach them while we are there. You can be in prayer for that!

Lily in Haiti.... who would've guessed it? :)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Other Plans.

2014-04-11T09:00:00.003-07:00

There's so much to say.....

January: Our agency informed us that they officially lost their license in Ethiopia and we were given 2 decisions; Switch countries and remain with this agency or change agencies and start over with Ethiopia.

Listen, this battle of "changing countries" (this time it was Uganda) had been looming over us for what seems like a year and each time we have asked the Lord for guidance, a peace has never been given to make the change.

I found myself in Ps 143.

QUICKLY LORD answer me...
SHOW US where to walk...
TEACH US to do YOUR will....
HOLY SPIRIT LEAD US forward on firm footing...
FOR.THE.GLORY.OF.YOUR.NAME!

I begged this from the Lord. Cried out honestly.

Now in praying for the Lord to show us what to do, we researched what our options were.
Since Uganda was the other country choice I posted on a FB group for Uganda Momma's to please contact me bc I had some questions. Adoption peeps *UGANDA MOMMA'S HAVE THEIR JUNK TOGETHER!* Each country has their own thing going as far how how adoptions are facilitated and most adoptions from Uganda are done independently from an agency. I was allowed to be a part of private FB group for Uganda momma's and received straight up facts and also asked them if they had heard of a couple of names our agency gave us they were working with in Uganda.

The other option was to switch agencies and start all over. The one I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO! Trust another agency after what we have been through the past 2 years? Trust another agency after this one just all of a sudden lost their license? Trust another agency PERIOD? START OVER? We've been #1 for almost 8 months! We've waited over a year (which is nothing honestly)! All our paperwork is done! We are logged into ET already! START.OVER???? Bless....

There were several agencies still active with Ethiopia that I contacted and each time had very pleasant experiences and positive but also truthful information about the stability of ET adoptions. (A lot has happened since Christmas.) I also reached out to a few friends & strangers and asked for personal references regarding their experiences with one agency specifically. The feedback was positive and so I did more research on this agencies license in ET, called with specific questions regarding ethical adoptions, etc. After several conversations with this agency and pleasant email correspondence (listen, at this point I was in tears talking with the lady bc she was so nice compared to what we had experienced the past 2 years-I'm sure she thinks I'm cra) I gave it all to Roger and said "If we switch agencies this is the one."

Roger and I prayed together and separately and had one final call to make with our agency to talk with them one last time about some specifics and make sure we understanding exactly what the deal was.

We prayed together over the phone and made the conference call.

You know what, the Lord reveals His will in many ways. This time it was through a negative circumstance and we knew the second the phone call ended what the Lord would have us do.

We withdrew from our agency on Friday, Feb 14th (Valentines Day, I know, right?) and were accepted into the International Adoption Agency (IAN) family on Feb 17th.
We had just gotten out of a movie with the kids so we were all together as a family and sitting in the car when we got the call we were accepted. I was thankful to the Lord for Him allowing all of us to be together for that!

(this pictures is before we went in for the movie but describes perfectly the way we felt after the call. Minus the tears! )

Over the course of Feb 14-Feb 17 my body was acting very strange.
And by strange I mean all signs were pointing to the fact that I was pregnant.

I felt sick sick to my stomach, I wanted to eat certain things, several other woman things were happening & my body physically was acting like it was pregnant JUST like it did with each of my pregnancies with my boys.

Sunday morning I told Roger I couldn't stand it but after church we were going straight to the store to get a test.

So we did.....

It was negative.

I was shocked honestly bc I just felt physically exactly the way I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

I'll be curious to know further on down the road what, if anything, was transpiring around this time and welp, let's face it, we are paper-pregnant again to say the least ;) And have a new beginning with a new agency.

Was starting over what I wanted to do. Ummm NO. But, it was exactly what the Lord had in mind.

Here are a couple of testimonies of what He has done since we've changed agencies.

Remember that $20,000 grant we received like right at the start of our paperwork process several years ago? If you don't remember you have GOT to read about what He did here!

Well, we had a balance of $17,600 left over.

When IAN sent me the fee sheet, guess what the cost totaled?

$17,600!!!!!

Only the Lord y'all.

We have literally started over with paperwork.
Application fee, application paperwork, Program paperwork, re-doing our Dossier-whole 9 yards.

Now, usually you are not placed on the dreaded wait-list until all of your documents have been complete.

They allowed us to enter onto the wait-list while we are gathering our Dossier Documents!

Only the Lord y'all.

Here is the other thing.

Our previous agency was classified as a Christian Agency. This new agency is not.
Our prayer is that through this the Lord will use our case, use us, to draw someone who might be lost to salvation in Jesus Christ. If one person comes to saving faith in Him, ONE person, this starting over will be worth every.single.tear.shed!
Will you pray for us? For all of our interaction with this agency that they will see Christ?

Can I be real for just a minute?

We have reached the point in the process that honestly, in my own heart, it's not even about the child/children. It's about me and the Lord.

There has been some MAJOR sanctification going on up in here.
When you take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on the Lord, it changes everything.

Do I still long for her? Absolutely.
But do I long for the Lord more, you bet your bottom dollar.

Do I still think of her and pray for her? Yes ma'am I do.
But do I desire His Word above anything else, YES.I.DO!

The story of Esther along with the story of Lazarus have comforted me a lot during this season of my life. (There are sooooo many things to glean from these stories!) And have cause me to examine my motives, my view of the Lord's character and His glory & His holiness.

After Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, instead of leaving & going to him immediately, He choose to stay where He was for 2 more days. (John 11:5)

Then He told His disciples "Lazarus is dead. And for your sakes, I'm glad I wasn't there, for now you will really believe. Come, let's go see him." (John 11:14)

After Jesus finally arrived, He was told Lazarus had been in the grave for four days.
Mary fell at His feet and said "If you had only been here, my brother would not have died!" (John 11:32)

What if Jesus would have came immediately when He heard Laz was sick? He more than likely would have spared his life and sure, people would been astonished.

BUT:

What would have brought the Lord more glory?
What would have caused more people to have faith and believe in Christ?

Healing a sick man?
Or raising a dead man who had been in the grave for four days?

What would have made Mary more comfortable and pleased her more?
For Jesus to come quickly and heal Laz before he died? Or allow him to die & be buried for 4 days?

I have been Mary. I have wanted the Lord to come quickly and complete this part of our adoption process by giving us a referral and bringing Lily home.
Don't you see how hard & painful this is Lord? I know it's within Your power to do this! Come quickly and fulfill this promise! Make this roller coaster end.

But Jesus choose to delay in coming. He waited for Lazarus to die. And he was really dead. Like 4 days dead.
But oh when Jesus called Lazarus out from that grave!

After Jesus had the stone over the entrance of Lazarus' grave rolled away He said to Martha "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" (John 11:40)

After Lazarus was called out of the grave and came walking out alive the Bible says "Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen." (John 11:45)

So, if the Lord will receive more glory from a 4-5 year adoption rode, that has been started and re-started, hard, painful & bumpy than a smooth, 2 year rode---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

If more people will "believe in Christ" & place their faith in Him because of this delay---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

All along the way knowing He is sovereign- moving in situations, preparing hearts, working behind the scenes in places our earthly eye can not see- we are choosing to see and believe with our spiritual eyes- that He will finish what He has started, His plans will prevail. No matter how long it takes. No matter how painful it is. No matter how much it costs--we.are.all.in.

We can't thank you enough for all of the prayers lifted up on our behalf. On Lily's behalf & the thoughtful tangible gifts along the way. They have encourage us so much! His little nuggets of mercy along the way and through grace we receive them.

As far as numbers go we are on the lists:

Infant Girl: 40, #24 of active families

Toddler Girl: 39, #26 of active families

Sibling group: 24, #17 of active families

So we are on 3 different lists & our #'s on the wait list are :
#24
#26
#17

Not too bad I think! Honestly I was expecting a WHOLE lot worse!

Questions:

*So how long now?

The reality is that it could be years. They are giving us the general 18-24 month approx time but new requirements have been added to the process that will lengthen.

What's this sibling group stuff about?

From the start we felt the Lord wanted us to be willing to be open to a sibling group. Meaning if Lily has a brother or sister they would come home with us.

Over the past few weeks we have opened up our age range a bit & listed a few special needs.

We are now open to a female 0-5 & the second child 0-11.

Can I be real again?

I'm praying she has an older brother who is 11. I know, it's crazy. Please read 2 Cor 5:13.
This boy momma heart of mine.... I can't explain it.
The Lord hard-wires us for His plans. It could include a single female or it could include 2 females or it could include a female and a male. Only the Lord knows.

Do you have all of the money you need?

No. We are always saving back in our Adoption Savings account for when it's time travel and if there are 2 children we will need to raise approx $7-10,000 more. He will provide. I'm confident of this!

What about you? Do you have any questions?

We've been continuing on with life just as He would have it.

I'm entering into a season of busy-ness with work, the kids have 1 month left of school, and Roger just got back from Cuba. Nothing has slowed down :)

not by sight.

2 Cor 5:7

We are keeping our eyes on Him, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. With Him nothing is impossible and with Him we can do anything because He is our strength! He's all we want, He's all we long for. More of Him and less of us. Less of satisfying our own comfort and ease. We are taking up our cross and dying daily to our flesh all for His glory and to walk intimately with Him.
Do you know Him? Have you trusted Him as Lord and Savior of your life? I would love to talk with you if you haven't!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Staying & Standing

2013-11-01T07:36:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when you're mind and emotions are so wrapped up in making a decision is can make it even more difficult. And if I'm honest, for me, makes it almost impossible to pray about the situation.
That's where I found myself in praying about staying with Ethiopia or changing countries. Quit honestly I got tired of thinking about myself and how I was feeling or how confused I was or how foggy my mind was. I couldn't just sit and read the Word without trying to filter every.single.passage. through the "we've got to make a decision lens." I just wanted to read it. Cause you know we can manipulate anything to go our way and slap "This is the word Lord gave us about this" behind it. Does that make sense?

After talking out & praying with a trusted sister in Christ {if you don't have one or two of those, I encourage you to ask the Lord for one/them} about the situation I decided to just start praying for my husband. The head/leader/king of our castle/captain of the boat, that's what we refer to him as anyway :)
The focus of my prayer was centered on Roger walking blameless before the Lord, asking the Lord to convict him of any sin so he could have the Lord's ear and hear clearly from Him. That He would speak to Roger and give him direction for our family, that Roger would abide in God's word and be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

All the while it has been time to update our Home study.
Paperwork expires and things have to be updated.

So we began re-doing things.
Fingerprints.
Medicals.
Employment verification.
Financial Information.
Etc.

It was an opportunity to see some of the same folks we had seen a year ago.
The Lord gave us opportunities to talk about that His faithfulness and share a little more about the process and domestic/international/DFACS/agencies; all sorts of stuff.

Ps-add in a week of bronchitis for Roger and round of antibiotics for me and we managed to come out alive.
Remembering October....

We're always thinking of you sweet girl.

You're always on our mind.

In Numbers 13 God promised this land to His people. He said it was theirs and that they should take it. When His people saw opposition they became cowards and started to not believe that what God had said was true. There was a nation in their way and they didn't believe God would deliver them over that nation. They sent spies and saw the land was good, but feared the the people who were in the land. They started to grumble (because it wasn't easy) and wish they had died in the wilderness or in Egypt The promise land standing in front of them they wished they had died lost in the wilderness or as a slave in Egypt! So Moses and Aaron fell to their faces and prayed. Through their prayers, their faith, God forgave His people but there were still a consequence. God allowed an entire generation to be wiped out before giving them victory of the promise land! Moses said something so simple, but so amazing ... v. 41 - "Why are you disobeying the Lord's command? This will not succeed!" God had already delivered that land to His people, but His people were afraid that the enemy was too big, to strong and they didn't think they could conquer them.
We will not be afraid! The Lord will give us victory for His name sake.
He gave Roger a Word and a peace.

We are staying. We are standing.

We are staying with Ethiopia.

*deep breath*long sigh*

This whole situation reminded me of 3 years ago THIS MONTH that I turned in my notice to my

-full time 8-5
-consistent paycheck
-health insurance
-retirement stuff
-incredible relationships with people I love dearly and still do
-highest paying job I'd ever had
-job that I knew if I left I'd never find another place like it, where we prayed together every morning before the work day began, I mean ALL the employees prayed together
-BEST JOB I'D EVER HAD

to be a stay at home/work at home momma and trust the Lord with His photography business full time.

SCARED TO DEATH- HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

We could have stayed at the bank where it was

-comfortable
-consistent
-routine
-planned
-safe
-dependable
-easy

And the Lord would have still loved us and used us and blessed us.

Leaving required us to trust the Lord more than me staying.
Leaving required us to cling to the Word more than me staying.
Leaving required position us to rely on Him for everything.

Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Has everything made sense? Absolutely not.
But I tell you one thing, I would do it all over again.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Eph 3:20

And we are.

And that's exactly what we are trusting Him for with staying with Ethiopia.

It would be easier for us to change countries, taking matters into our own hands getting paperwork going, SEEING movement, getting the ball rolling, speeding things up.

We are trusting Him for the hard. We are trusting Him for Ethiopia. He is faithful and we know it.
And we will wait. For how long? Until He tells us to move.
Faith of a mustard seed. Faith.of.a.mustard.seed. waiting for this mountain to move.

Prepare the way of the Lord,

Make straight in the desert

a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be exalted

And every mountain and hill brought low;

The crooked places shall be made straight

and the rough places smooth;

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

and all flesh shall see it together.

Isaiah 40:3-5

I can't tell you enough how much your prayers have meant to us.
You hear people say or read people type "praying for you" but to KNOW someone is sincerely thinking of you and bringing you to the Father in prayer is humbling as all get out.
Cherished brother and sisters in Christ, we have felt the body of Christ by your prayers. Thank you for every hug, every text, every FB message, every blog comment.

We are believing the Lord for this license issue. Please continue to pray with us.

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace,

Kim

BUT THEN.... one year.

2013-10-17T06:36:00.000-07:00

***Please don't skip over reading this Psalm & go straight to have I have written.

I guarantee you there is more power in God's Word than in a single period of a question mark in mine.***

Psalm 77

I cry out to God; yes I shout.

Oh, God that You would listen to me!

When I was in deep trouble,

I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted towards heaven,

but my soul was not comforted.

I think of God, and I moan,

overwhelmed with longing for His help.

You don't let me sleep.

I am too distressed even to pray!

I think of the good ole days,

long since ended,

when my nights were filled with joyful songs.

I search my soul and ponder the difference now.

Has the Lord rejected me forever?

Will He never be kind to me again?

Is His unfailing love gone forever?

Have His promises permanently failed?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He slammed the door on His compassion?

And I said "This is my fate, the Most High has turned His hand against me."

BUT THEN I recall all You have done, O Lord,

I REMEMBER Your wonderful deeds of long ago.

They are constantly in my thoughts.

I cannot stop thinking about Your mighty works.

O God, Your ways are holy.

Is there any god as mighty as You?

You are the God of great wonders!

You demonstrate Your awesome power among the nations.

By Your strong arm, You redeemed Your people, the descendants of Jacob & Joseph.

When the Red Sea saw You, O God, its waters looked and trembled!

The sea quaked to its very depths.

The clouds poured down rain;

the thunder rumbled in the sky.

Your arrows of lightning flashed.

Your thunder roared from the whirlwind; the lightning lit up the world!

The earth trembled and shook.

Your road led through the sea, Your pathway through the mighty waters-

a pathway no one knew was there!

You led Your people along that road

like a flock of sheep,

with Moses and Aaron as their shepherds.

I can identify with this Psalm. Especially within the past week.

We received not so good news from our agency regarding a license issue in Ethiopia and we were given options to seek the Lord about.

We can wait out the government making these changes to the license, with no time frame or guarantee that it will be resolved.

We can change countries & leaving our Dossier in Ethiopia in case the government approves the license.

I know, you might be thinking "whats the big deal, change countries and roll with it."

Roll with it without the Lord possibly? No thank you.

We have come to a halt where a decision has to be made and if I could be honest it is overwhelming to think about. My emotions are so wrapped up in my thoughts "I'm too distressed to pray." I can not sleep and "my soul is not being comforted."

We laid in bed last night and I talking about "the good ole days" when we were completed the task at hand of paperwork and turning it in, going to bed at night with excitement "filled with joyful songs" and were fundraising seeing the Lord move and show off in big ways with BIG amounts. Everything was so exciting.

My, oh my, what a different place we are in now.

It has been a year of waiting. A solid year of moving closer and closer to the top where we have finally reached the #1 spot and now look where we're at. The thought of the Lord "slamming the door on His compassion" of the country of Ethiopia being where our daughter is has crossed my mind, more than once. And when I think of the situation I can't help but to "moan" and wonder "What in the world are you doing, Lord? Will You ever be kind to us again?"

BUT THEN........

Oh, I am so thankful for His Word.

I texted a portion of this passage to a friend this morning as encouragement and then as I began looking over the whole Psalm I found myself in tears half way through.

This Psalmist has been in my heart and wrote down on paper exactly where I have been for the last week.

Isn't it INCREDIBLE? The Word. This book written so long ago? It.is.alive.and relate-able and it SPEAKS!

Then BUT THEN... it's in the remembering and recalling....

{Through the lens of this adoption journey I began to recall ALL He has done.}

-The speediness of paperwork.

-The outpouring of friends with fun-raisers.

-The fact that every.single.time. we had paperwork to turn in, we had the funds! (sometimes you wait on the Lord to provide the money before you can turn in paperwork)

-The TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS HE GAVE US!!!

-And all through out this year of waiting the victories He has given us over sin & a restored marriage, the treasures from His Word, the intimate moments at His feet, the GRACE to endure the pruning and sanctify to be more like my Savior, the powerful private communion with my God and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit like never before.

-The countless reminders of His presence through BIG things He knew would comfort me like, pink rainbows in an early morning sky, reminding me that HE IS a Promise Keeper & a Covenant Keeping God, or little things like her name in the most random places, like on the back of dressing room doors written in chalk or a random woman wearing precious jeans with little pink elephants on them and when I asked her who they were made by she said "Lily."

I could go on and on....

The pathway the Lord chose to rescue the Israelites was HIS pathway.

"...a pathway no one knew was there!"

I wonder what the Isrealites thought standing there looking at the Red Sea.

"This looks impossible. How will this ever work. What do you want us to do with that? Where's our boat? How will we all fit on it?"

He made a way.

And He WILL make a way and demonstrate His power among the nations and will redeem!

And HE will be our Shepard and I will continue to pray for the "Moses" He has placed as our leader, my husband.

This is my strength for today.

And to remember and recall ALL He has done for us, not only in the adoption journey but on the CROSS!

The power of sin is broken, death has been defeated and we.are.free!

(All of Romans)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace,

Kim

I've gone past "my" due date...

2013-09-12T08:30:00.002-07:00

Welp.

We skipped right on past 9 months of waiting and we're in month 11.

I have officially passed my due date. {Friends who have been pregnant, you KNOW the weight behind those words}. Being "paper pregnant" has a LOT of similarities.} That's another post.

Because you know, I have have it figured out and know EXACTLY when this African princess will be born into our lives.

In the words of the early 90's *SIKE*.

I have no.clue.

Our summer was pretty eventful with lots of bike riding, trips to Chehaw, a trip to the ER, playing in the rain, birthday's, the beach, ice-cream, movies and spur of the moment road trips, my #2 going to big church for the first time, Kari Jobe concert, swimming, 4th of July, PRECIOUS outfits showing up in the mail for her, bags of super cute clothes being brought over, her side of the room being prepared. It actually flew by very quickly.

But there was one conversation that happened about once a week....

Roger: We bought that push mower for Cameron to cut the grass. Why do you keep cutting it?

Me: Because I can see it & I have a longing to cut the grass.

I'm a visual person.

I like to read books with pictures.

I like to take pictures.

I like to see things.

Its very obvious when you cut the grass that something is happening. And with all the rain we had there was a LOT to see because it just kept growing and growing and growing.

When we built our house (don't worry it's not a huge fancy thing like you prob just imagined) we had to cut as many corners as we could to afford it and along with crown molding went landscaping. Nothing was planted. Not a single bush or square of grass was laid out. So we spent a LOT of time praying for grass.

A former neighbor even helped up plant some seeds and we watered and watered and watered. We were the neighbors flipping their porch lights on & off in the odd hours of the night moving sprinklers around in desperation to wake up one morning and see tiny little green sprigs popping up through the dirt.

We seeded the back but not the front.... this picture my friends is of the FRONT yard.

Only Jesus made that grass grow.

So in my longing to mow the grass I thanked Him with every.single.row. I made in that yard. Sometimes backing up and re-mowing over an area because it was SO THICK!

Thanking Him for HEARING our prayers for grass for ANSWERING these prayers and for GIVING us grass and for going over and beyond and giving us THICK PRETTY GREEN grass. He is faithful in the big and the small my friends. Never think anything you are praying for is trivial and ALWAYS give Him the glory when He answers!

This act of mowing the grass was soothing to my soul & was the perfect visual of something for me to see in this waiting season.

Such a reminder that He is HEARING our prayers and that He will ANSWER our prayers and that He will go over & beyond and give us a BEAUTIFUL daughter that I can WAIT to lay my eyes on!

I just mowed my little heart out y'all. Crying out to the Lord with every row for our Lily. Imagining her sitting on our front porch with side walk chalk as I mowed wondering if next summer she would be here. Lots of praying and rejoicing and thanking was done this Summer in cutting that grass.

Oh 11 months... eleven, as is next month will be a year. A year of waiting.... Honestly I can't believe it. I mean I can but I can't.

While the summer went by quickly I had the opportunity to make lots of new friend via social media.

You know, sometimes social media gets a bad wrap but in the adoption community the Lord.uses.it!! Can I get an amen adoptive mamma's?? And daddy's? (that was for you Todd)

Along with new friends comes lots of knowledge about the adoption process because some of your new friends are further along in their journey.

Here is a MAJOR thing I learned.

While there are MILLIONS of orphans not all of them are adoptable.

So what does THAT mean?

There are laws put into place to protect against illegal adoptions. Go here for more information.

These children have to become adoptable. This process is completed on the Orphanage side.

While we had mounds of paperwork to complete in order for us to adopt, there are LOTS of things that have to happen for Lily for her to become available for adoption.It varies from country to country.

For Ethiopia, part of that process is locating the person who either abandoned her at the orphanage OR the person who found her and brought her to the orphanage. Now listen, I'm not talking driving across town or down the street locating, I'm talking the possibility of her mother traveling, maybe by foot, many miles into the city from a village to bring her to the orphanage bc she knows she will be cared for & fed. I'm talking locating a random person who found her on the street and brought her to the orphanage in a city of MILLIONS. (in 2008 Addis Ababa had a population of 3.385 MILLION people.)

Once this person is found they have to appear in court. The purpose of this to prove that she is a true orphan or is being orphaned. There are many reasons why children are orphaned. In Africa many times it's due to disease, mother dies from HIV & there's no one to care for them, or bc there are too many children for a single mother to care for and she knows that by taking them to the orphanage they will be fed & taken care of and eventually adopted.

If this person can not be located and if found does not appear in court, the process of making her adoptable doesn't continue. *deep breath*long sigh*

Every orphanage I have ever seen has been a little understaffed and over populated by children. Bottles are propped up during feeding time, children are not really played with, lots of time spent in the crib or pack-n-play time because there are simply not enough hands. And I admit the thought of it being the orphanages responsibility to find the time to seek out these people, help them make their court date, get medicals done & simply deem the child ADOPTABLE sounds impossible. But it does happen!

Add in the fact that it's rainy season in Ethiopia and <BAM> that makes everything more difficult. They close court because no one can get to the court house bc the roads are in such horrible condition from the rain. The power goes on and off, the internet is in and out. Think of how we would be affected if it rained this much where we live....

(picture from a FB missionary friends page he posted from the streets of Addis)

And on top of all of this we are currently on hold, again.

There are some licening issues in Ethiopia with our agency. They have told us they are "close" to having it resolved but until it's resolved referrals/adoptions are not happening.

*sigh*

This is what we have been praying this week regarding the licensing issue:

Prepare the way of the Lord,

Make straight in the desert

a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be exalted

And every mountain and hill brought low;

The crooked places shall be made straight

and the rough places smooth;

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

and all flesh shall see it together.

Isaiah 40:3-5

That every obstacle to get this license complete would be removed, every difficult area would be straightened, that the Lord would burden the hearts of these government officials to get this done, that there would be a sense of urgency within, that the Lord would give favor to the agency representative handling this in Ethiopia. And all this so that the glory of the Lord will be revealed for everyone to see.

We are asking Him to do things that only He could do. If we could do them then we would seek the praise and you wouldn't see the power and sovereignty of our God. THIS is why we have walked this adoption so visibly, so you reader would see the Lord and His power. This is His stage, not ours, this is about Him, not us. For the first year we were busy with paperwork, busy fun-raising, busy busy busy and now....there is nothing left to do but wait.

I don't want this waiting season to be wasted. I have had so many intimate moments with the Lord and tried to blog them but y'all, somethings are too imitate to be shared. Our God is so in tune with us. And in the midst of hard and pain and frustration He meets you there and does things that you have a hard time puting into words. He longs for our hurts to be turned towards Him not away from Him. He is waiting to lavish us with His power through the Holy Spirit.

You know that's what He left us right? When He died on the cross and went up to Heaven, He left His Holy Spirit inside of us if you are a Born Again Believer. And He never leaves us. (John 14:16-18)

He empowers us to do things we can't do on our own in our own strength. In our weakness is when His strength is the MOST perfect! (2 Cor 12:9-11) What a perfect place to be, WEAK! Then it's HE gets the glory because it's HIS strength that carries us through & not our own. #howdopeopledoitwithouttheLord

He has such patience with us. I didn't fully surrender my life to Him until my 30's. And He endured with me that long!

Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:16:

But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of His great patience with even the worst of sinners. The others would realize that they, too, can believe in Him and receive eternal life.

We, wretched sinners, are the example of His great patience!

He waited for Noah to build the arc before He flooded the Earth. (1 Pet 3:20) He is slow to anger and rich in love. (Ps 103:8) His patience is not like my patience! I think of my lack of patience at the red light, in the drive through, doing homework with my children, with people; it's so limited & based on my circumstance. His exercise of His power is His patience! And He desires to give us that same power through His Holy Spirit. (Gal 5:22)

His patience with me motivates me to wait patiently for Him through the power of His Holy Spirit.

So you may ask, what does it take so long to adopt?

There are many reasons, finding people, rain, paperwork, red tape & the list goes on and on but oh how His Word & the Holy Spirit provide such strength & POWER as to wait patiently for Him!

And the end result in all of this is yes, a cute little African princess but the PRIZE is knowing Him more, nothing compares!

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord.

Phil 3:8

A little treat from last night, seeing the African Children's Choir who just *happened* to come through our town on tour.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I had to go with a team to South Africa last year and I can tell you the moment they opened their mouths the tears started flowing.

Something about hearing another tribe our God created singing praises to Him!!!

And a very personal praise is that the Lord allowed my husband to hear the sounds of these children singing these praises. I can try to tell him all day long how the Lord used it for me but until you hear with your own ears you'll never know. He heard last night and now knows what I've been trying to described for a year now. Same for my best friend.

Thank you Lord. You are so good to me..... #preparation #hearttying

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

A few ps's:

-If you have the opportunity to do the Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called Gideon, I HIGHLY recommend it! Some of this power & patient talk was learned from her study & the Word!

-Always wear a helmet while riding a bike. Hence the "er trip" from our summer shenanigans.

-If it rains on your beach trip, turn around and spend the rest of the day soaking in some good talk time with your BFF poolside. It will not be a wasted trip. I promise!

-Grab your kids and play in the rain for once. You'd be surprised how much fun it is!

-Grab the lawn mower & try mowing the grass. The Lord just might show up :)

Grow Your Blog Giveaway!!!

2013-07-13T13:32:00.001-07:00

I love supporting fellow adoptive momma's and I LOVE this super cool fun-raising idea!!!

Would you love to be an August Sponsor Spot on ALL of these awesome blogs:

AND

All of these prizes:

Visit her Blog for all the details!

Let's help get this baby girl from Democratic Republic of Congo home!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

How we got to #1...

2013-05-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

First things first, my husband and I are in agreement with this being posted.

Second things first, this road called "Adoption" it's not just about bringing this child/these children home.

It's a tool the Lord uses to rid your life of everything not of Him. Put your big girl panties on.

It's called sanctification aka adoptification.

You might have seen this yesterday with a bunch of these !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and cry faces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's because we found out yesterday we are number One on the waiting list!!!!!!!
Next is a picture, her face, her birth name, her age----HER!!!!

I wanted to share with you how we became number one......

In December of 2011 our marriage went through a very difficult time that we would not have made it through with out Jesus Christ and His Word. It's just that simple.

When you are in sin, it will eventually come to the surface and be revealed either by an act or confession.
Sin came into the light and it rocked our marriage to core. The details of the sin are not important.
Because all sin is sin.
What happened after it came into the light is what we want to share.

We placed our adoption on hold. We do anything, especially anything the Lord would have us to with this is our lives.
We emailed our Agency & told them we were handling some issues within our family and for now we needed to put the breaks on our adoption until further notice.

This was a very difficult decision for us.
Sin had to be dealt with and counseling/restoration were necessary and Roger and I knew it.
This hold was a consequence of what had happened.
You need to know there are MAJOR consequences if you are in sin.

And did you know, when someone confesses sin, it causes you to examine your own heart?
And guess what, I had some confessing to do as well. The Lord had me confess sin to my husband that had been in my own life that wasn't sin directly against him but was effecting our marriage and I didn't even realize it.

If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

1 John 1:9

We went straight into Biblical Marriage Counseling. Counseling that included homework-Studying Romans, paper based homework, electronic based homework and face to face home work between Roger and I. We also had intense accountability with trusted fellow believers. The couple of people in our lives that knew the details of what was going on & asked the hard questions, went to the deep places with us, that bathed us in prayer, prayed for our children, were on their knees in the night doing battle for us and gave wise biblical counsel.

I can tell you that it was during this time of our lives that this verse changed me forever.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin.

1 Pet 4:8

And it did.

My love for the Lord, my love for the unity, sanctity, healing of my marriage, my love for my husband-even though the sin hurt so deeply, helped me over alllllll of that sin.

Deep love.

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeep love.

The Love that only comes from our Father and through the Holy Spirit.

It was this deep love that put Jesus on the cross! His love is what covers ALL of our sin!

God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed His life, shedding his blood. Rom 3:25

How could I not forgive in light of my own sin.

We were determined to fight for our marriage!

To wade through the sea of hurt & pain not just to say we did it, because let me tell you, there is NOTHING you can do on your own! This kind of conquering can ONLY be done through the power of the Holy Spirit.

HE did it.

HE provided this deep love that helped both of us cover our sin.

We were officially taken off of hold on Feb 1, 2012.

We called the agency and told them we were ready to move forward with our adoption.

My prayer after we proceeded was that the Lord would REDEEM our time on hold.

That He would some how honor our obedience in walking out this time we had just went through.

That He would somehow give us back the days we lost...

Can I tell you the reason why we became Number One is because the family in front of us put themselves on HOLD..........

They received a domestic placement (adopted a child in the United States.)

I'm not really sure how to word what is on my heart other than the feeling of having some time redeemed.

Feeling like we were bumped up a spot, moved forward, time given back.

This is such a personal feeling but I just want you to see and know that the Lord, our God is so much bigger that we are. His time table, His plan for our lives is inconceivable. And He is good!

Sin causes pain. But oh how His forgiveness, restoration and redemption is JOYOUS!!!!

As Roger and I laid in the bed last night he drifted off to sleep and I laid there thinking of allllllll of this with tears streaming down my face.

All of that hurt, all of that pain, all of that darkness piercing into the light that was gut-wrenching to deal with, He did it. He brought us through it.

He made our marriage brand new, He made our intimate lives brand new, healing some painful areas that were SO deep seeded from our childhood carried into our marriage.

Roger's life was changed in such a way that his eyes were open to exactly what sin is and how it separateness us from Christ and that He died to cover this exact sin we were both dealing with. He got saved!

This being Number One is so much more than being at the top, it is a spot we have been longing for and knowing just how we arrived here means all the difference in the world.......

All glory and honor to Your name oh Lord!!!!
It is YOU and ONLY YOU to whom we give all the praise!!

The Lord has done amazing things for us!

We are GLAD!!

Ps 126:3

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

James 5:16

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you & stopped trying to hide my guilt.

I said to myself "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord."

And You forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Ps 32:5

Baobab Tree, Musina, South Africa ,May 2012
"Tree of Life"

Withhold...

2013-05-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

Withhold:

Refuse to give (something that is due to or is desired by another): "the withholding of consent to treatment".
Suppress or hold back (an emotion or reaction).

It was one Sunday morning a few months ago in the midst of a discouraged-haven't-heard-anything-in-a-while waiting month, the Lord reminded me:

I'm not withholding her from you......

If I'm honest, these are thoughts that pop up from time to time...

*There are things the Lord is working on in me & until fill in the blank is conquered and done THEN He'll send her...

*Surely we need to get my #3's out-of-control behavior under control before He'll send her...

*Roger and I have a few things that still need to be sanctified in our marital relationship before she'll come....

*I've given up on the needing to be in a better spot financially one before she gets here... that will NEVER happen ;)

*How in the WORLD can we add another crazy to the mix of the 3 we have now. We need to get a better handle on them before He'll send her....

These are just to name a few.

But here's the truth...

The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.

Ps 84:11b

By now you know this adoption is something the Lord specifically called us to do as a family. This has NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING to do with how good or "right" we are. The only good you see in us is Jesus.

SHE, however, our Lily is good.

And He is NOT withholding her from us. He's not refusing to send her. He's not dangling her over our head as a reward to get things "right" or "better" before He decides it's time.

{Repeat out loud to yourself Kimberly Ann.}

He doesn't withhold good things from those who do what is right!

He knows the exact date we'll get the email.
The date we'll travel.
The date she'll be in our arms.
The date she'll step foot in this house.

He's not keeping her from us. It's not in His character.

Has He called you to something and you are waiting for it?
He's not withholding/refusing to give it/him/her to you.

Wait on Him...

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

This was taken out of the van window while we were traveling in South Africa one year ago this week...

On edge..

2013-04-30T11:38:00.001-07:00

I'm literally on the edge of my seat.

The anticipation of THE phone call/email makes my heart race like this robust coffee I tried to drink a few weeks ago.

I'm catching myself thinking:

"Last year ON Mother's Day, I was literally sitting in the home of an Ethiopian family visiting with them IN Africa. Wouldn't it be SO COOL if we got THE call on or around this Mother's Day?!?!"

"What if my phone goes off in Bible study with THE call!?! I'm gonna go out into the hallway and answer it and a I may or may not care if I scream!!"

"What if we get THE call on Father's Day? That would literally tickle my husband pink."

When the screen of my phone lights up I break my neck to look at it. What if it's THE email?

Brushing my teeth, will today be THE day?

Where will I be when we get THE news?

Will I be grocery shopping in Wal-Mart? Will I leave my buggy or proceed to checkout? If I leave it there I'll blow my witness. Surely they'll understand, won't they?

THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It could be any day or months from now.

No one but the Lord knows....

Reminds me of this verse:

No one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son Himself. Only the Father knows.

Mark 13:32

No one knows when Jesus will return to claim His redeemed.

Just like no one knows when we'll get the call for our Lily.

I wonder since Jesus doesn't know when His Father will say "It's time, go and get them," if He is on the edge of His seat as well?

Can't you just see Him standing on the edge of the clouds like a runner at the start of a race waiting for the "GO!!"

And as believers we are EAGERLY hoping for the day when God will give us our full rights as His adopted children, including the new bodies He has promised us!

Romans 8:23

We are longing for His return!

And since we don't know when He'll come back we should live in this anticipation in sharing the Good News with anyone we see!

Just this morning someone asked me how was our adoption going and I was EAGER to share with them that we are #2!! It literally could be any day.

Am I that eager to share the news of the One who paid the price for my sin?

The One who rose from the grave? The One who has rescued me from the pit of hell? The One who has bought my life with a price? His own blood? The King of Kings? My great high Priest? My Comforter My Healer My Provider!

Oh that I would live my life on the edge of my seat to share about my Savior all the time!

We're nothing with out Him y'all.

He died for you.

Do you know Him?

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Loss.

2013-04-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

Her time arriving is coming closer and the pain and sadness she is fixing to experience is beginning to fill my heart.

We may be gaining her but she is loosing everything.

Her family. Birth momma/father/care taker/friends

Her country. Culture/Sights/smells/sounds/people/food

The loss of her family its self is overwhelming to think about.

She has not chosen to be an orphan.

Imagine if you were taken from the only "home" you've known all your life, to a country to permanently live in a home with a group of people, a different skin color from yours, people who speak a different language than you, eat different foods, dress differently, who are hugging and kissing all over you, rejoicing & crying over your arrival. Cameras in your face, new clothes on your body and all you REALLY want to do is run back to your all the things familiar & feel safe that were in your life.

I can't help but put myself in her place & wonder if any of these thoughts will come to mind.

The longing for the safety of the familiar.

Even if she comes from a "not so good" place by our definition.

To her, it's all she's known.

I wonder exactly where she is right now as I'm typing this.

If she's even born yet.

If she is still with her first momma, who is alive and well.

Or if she is living in the streets.

Or if she is being cared for by her grandmother who is ill and dying and is her last living relative to care for her.

I wonder how old she is.

I wonder if she has siblings or is an only child like me.

I wonder what all she has experienced in the short time she has been alive. Starvation/sickness.

I wonder if she has been hurt. By words or hands.

I wonder just how deep her pain will be.

Will I see it in her eyes?

Will she show it by her actions? Outwardly or by nothing at all.

One day she will ask me about her momma, her first momma. Lord give me the grace.

There will be moments in her life that I'm sure the wondering of who her first momma was will come across her mind.

What did she look like?

What did her voice sound like?
Did she sing to me?

How deep was her beauty?

Was she saved?

Will I see her again in Heaven?

Did she love me?

Did she want me?

Can you imagine not knowing these questions about the woman who gave birth to you?

The woman who carried you for 9 months. Who felt you move inside of her. Felt every hiccup. Every kick.

The women who's voice you heard and responded to even in the womb. The woman who went through excruciating pain to bring you into this world. The one who heard your first cry. The woman who fed you and bathed you....

This is a bitter sweet journey for her and she doesn't even know it.

So I'm praying for her heart already. The pain. The sadness. The loss.

I can not over look or try to fix, or make better, or cover and replace, take away or change.

Rest assured it is pain only my Jehovah Rapha, my Healer, can sooth and heal.

So when the day comes and she is finally "home" while my heart will be leaping for joy but it will also be mourning her loss.

I'm asking the Lord for wisdom.

A knowing only given by the Holy Spirit as to when to hold and cry with, hold and listen to, hold and read the Word over and to love forever. And the grace to carry us through it all....

Baby girl you are being covered in prayer by your second momma already...

I love you.

Number 2!!!

2013-04-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing I'm typing this instead of writing it because you wouldn't be able to read it I'm shaking with such excitement!!

We received the news that we are number 2 on the waiting list!!

T
W
O

As in next to number 1, as in almost there, as in OH MY GOSH THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!

The crazy-just like the Lord- thing is, the day we found out we were number 2 is the day before Roger left for Cuba on a mission trip.
The day before I left for Africa last May we found out we were given the $20,000 grant.

Y'all, my words, they can't explain. Some things you just have to see.

That's the sole purpose for sharing this crazy journey with you is so that you will see the Lord & for His glory.
Oh my friend if you don't know Him you are missing out!!!

So what in the world is happening now...

This means once we become number 1, we wait for a referral.
The file containing a female between the ages of 0-4.
Her picture.
Her medical records & family history that they are aware of.
And we accept her.
Then we make plans to travel. This could take a several weeks to prepare for.
We are waiting to hear if we have any left over from the $20,000 grant we received to apply towards travel so we may be doing some more fun-raising.
Anxious to see how the Lord provides!!

I also want to share with you one other detail.

When we were filling out the mountains of paper work, we got to the line where it said "number of children you are requesting."
Roger and I felt that the Lord wanted us to be willing/open to a sibling group of 2. {see a pattern here with the 'w' word?}

This does not mean we are getting two children.

It does mean that if we become number 1 and our referral comes in, if she has a brother or a sister up to age 8 that brother or sister will come home with her and be in our family. They will not split up a sibling group.

I know, I know what you're thinking.

But we are trusting the Lord with this and He knows!! He.knows.
Willingness is what He wants.

What would your reaction be if I told you of a family that brought home a sibling group of 3 boys from Ethiopia to add to their family of 3 biological boys & 2 daughters from Ethiopia for a total of 8 children.
This family lives in a very moderate home and to make room for these new additions they gave up their master bedroom & bathroom for multiple sets of bunk beds that would sleep all of their boys.

I can tell you what my reaction was "ummmm WOW. THAT is radical. THAT is something I'd never thought of. THAT is the most selfless act I can think of."

And then I asked myself, could I do that?
Could I/would I give up our nice spacious bedroom & the comfort of our big spacious bathroom to condense into a little extra bedroom with a bed & dresser for the sake of bringing home children to a forever family and raising them in a home filled with love & the Word of God?

This family was obedient to the Lord and He made a way for them.
Just like He made a way for the Israelites to escape Egypt by parting the Red Sea & just like He made a way for us to know Him by sacrificing His own son, Jesus, for you.

I am the way, the truth & the life, no one comes to the Father accept through me.- Jesus

John 14:6

We may not live in a "big enough" home or have "enough bedrooms" or "make enough money" by the worlds standards to bring home 2 children, but if we are obedient to the Lord, He will make a way and we have complete trust in Him.

Does the thought of bringing TWO children home scared me to death, yes it does!
But the thought of being disobedient to the Lord scares me more.

So, here we are, NUMBER TWO on the list.

Shaking yet?
Me too :)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

T-6 / Madagascar / GOOD NEWS!!!!

2013-03-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

You may have seen this on my FB or Instagram feed last week:

This is GOOD NEWS my friends!! Our agency emailed us to let us know the license had been renewed & we were good to move forward with waiting for our daughter!!
I can't say thank you enough for the prayers, messages & texts of encouragement. The body of Christ as it's finest! THANK YOU!!

I also referenced a "fight" aka "ware zone" that ensued during the month of agony in between the bad and good news. I wanted to share what I fought in hopes of encouragement!

When we were told the news of the hold/government changes our options were:
-Wait out the changes in Ethiopia
-Switch Countries

My prayers quickly turned into ones that sounded like this:

"LORD!! What do we do?!?!?! Do we wait out these changes that could take a year or more or do we switch countries? But I don't want to switch countries Lord! My heart is tied to Ethiopia!"

"My heart is tied to Ethiopia" = prayed for, as in asked the Lord to send rain for good crops/jobs, for Him to send missionaries to pray over her & love on the people/children in her orphanage & spread the Gospel, for Christian radio to hit the airwaves there & saturate their hearing with songs that tell of our God & His story, longed for, studied about, eaten their food, looked into the eyes of beautiful Ethiopian people, talked everyday about, dreamed about, purchased their music and the list goes on and on.

The thought of "switching countries" did NOT float my boat, in fact it made me, still makes me sick to think about. "Switching countries" was NOT an option for me the 1st couple of weeks into this pause.

{Not to mention the fact that Roger kept reminding me that the Lord gave us a specific Word that our daughter was to come from Ethiopia.}

A few days into the news we learned that we indeed had a few other options we could seek out.

We could switch to an Agency (who's license was still active) that include an Ethiopia program and be placed on their wait list OR we could seek out waiting child lists' and choose a child from a list.

I reached out to a couple of lists & emailed an agency & the response was like a door closing to those options.

So back to square one. Wait or switch countries.

Here ensues the battle......

-Is this what You're doing Lord? Closing the door to ET and pointing us towards another country?

-Is this my flesh desiring to switching countries so we can get this show on the road (see some movement?)

I needed discernment.
{the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically.}
Biblical discernment is explained PERFECTLY in this post by John MacAuther

I knew that if we were to change countries it would be to Madagascar.

{It's the island everyone leaves off when thinking/talking about/printing Africa.}

The Madagascar program opened up in our Agency soon after we were approved & into our paperwork. I remember the day I found out and thought, a) Where exactly is Madagascar? & b) How cool to adopt a child from there! And honestly never thought about it again, until now.

I am not exaggerating when I say that the thought of changing from Ethiopia to Madagascar literally made my heart hurt, it LITERALLY made my heart hurt. As soon as the thought came to mind I would make myself quickly think of something else. And I mean, with a quickness!
My track record with the Lord when praying over decisions/seeking His will has been asking Him to literally put it in front of me all the time, show me in His word, make it in neon pink all over the place, door WIDE OPEN, in other words Lord, make it CLEAR! No gray, no guessing, no hesitation. OR slam the door shut & prevent us from moving foward.

-As I somewhat allowed the idea of switch countries stay longer than a millisecond, I called a adoptive momma and while talking about the situation with her she shared with me that in her two adoptions, the Lord changed their country. {sick feeling}
-I walked into Publix and literally ran into a buggy filled with markdowns of Valentine Day cards and guess what theme they were, Madagascar (the movie). {sick feeling}
-When I would log onto FB random posts involving Madagascar would pop up. {sick feeling}
-I started dreaming about it. {sick feeling}

The list goes on and on. And on and on. It was beginning pop up everywhere I turned.
Except for the Word.
I told the Lord I did NOT want this to be me running wild with my own desires. Seeking this out on my own. Wanting this just to see us moving. And at the same time was begging Him to make it clear if this were His doings or not.
Did He tell us Ethiopia to get us into Madagascar?
Did He close the door to open another one?

DO YOU SEE MY STRUGGLE HERE????????

I slowly starting Googling Madagascar. Images/maps/religion/culture.
I looked for maybe 5 min's and closed it out.
{SICK FEELING}

Emily and I went to see Les Mis in Charleston, SC a couple weekends ago. That morning in our hotel our conversation ended up on Madagascar. We stumbled upon a blog of a family in Atlanta that was adopting from Madagascar, watched a video of an adoption from Madagascar & saw beautiful pictures of Madagascar. That afternoon after we ate lunch we turned to walk down a side walk and a trolley pulled up beside us. Guess what plastered on the side of it?
MADAGASCAR

All I could do was look at her and laugh.
WHAT IN THE WORLD LORD???

I told her on the way home I guess it was time for me to get serious about praying about Madagascar.

I still had that hurt. That sting every time I thought about it.

BUT, GOD....

The Lord is so gentle. He's such a gentleman.
The sweet reminder of just being willing was remembered.

The willingness that got us here in the first place.
The willingness of two years ago when we said "Lord here is our YES. Whatever you want us to do, whatever the cost, whatever it looks like, whatever it takes, we are willing."

Maybe He just wants us to be willing to change our countries.

Willingness doesn't mean it's not going to be painful or you won't be scared to death.

It's just simply a surrender of my will and acceptance of His.

So I told Him last Tuesday morning on the way to Bible study. I'm willing Lord. It hurts to think about, it's not what I want, but if it's Your will, I'm willing.

That afternoon is when we got the news Ethiopia was GOOD TO GO & our pause was OVER!
That.after.noon!!
We were staying with Ethiopia!!!
I can't put into words exactly how I felt.
The THANKFULNESS that He allowed us to stay with Ethiopia.
The THANKFULNESS that the changes/decisions only took 1 month. ONE month people!
The RELIEF of the battle of switching countries was over, just like that. In 1 minute all of the sleepless nights constant prayer, insane emotions. Over, just like that.
The REALIZATION that the Creator of the universe bent His ear down & heard my cries and even answered me.

He's so good y'all. He's so faithful.
He only wants your "YES."
He only wants your willingness.
Let Him decide the rest. What it will look like & be full of. He'll show you and it will be very clear!

6 Months. We've been waiting six months.
Because waiting is NOT paused. It is a slow play.
Waiting has never felt so good....

As soon as I pray, you answer me, you encourage me by giving me strength.

Ps 138:3

Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!

We are glad!

Ps 126:3

Some friends & I have had this on repeat this week.

Have a listen.

It's a good one :)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Prayer Request: Ethiopia Changes/Delay

2013-01-30T06:20:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we received an email with not so good news.

The Ethiopian Government has decided to make changes to their adoption process. They are consulting with other countries to see how their programs run.
While they are in the process of discussing/making those changes the government is not renewing licenses with Agencies in Ethiopia causing them to not send referrals out.

(Referral = Files containing a child's information (pictures/medical info/etc) matched with a family. This is what we are "waiting" to receive from our agency for our Lily.)

Our agency informed us that they are not accepting any more Applications for Ethiopia at this point & that worse case scenario we could move laterally to another program (Country) within our agency.......

When I hear the term in the adoption world "Worth the fight" this is the fighting I think of.

This fight is fought on my knees.

For we are not fighting against flesh & blood enemies, but against evil rulers & authorities of the unseen world, against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Eph 6:12

There is an enemy that is real y'all.

And his greatest desire is to steal, kill & destroy.

And he doesn't care what your name is, how much money you have or who your momma is!

He does not want these orphans to have forever families!

I know the end of the story and the Lord still.wins.

Would you please, please pray with us?!?!

Pray for:

*the orphans in Ethiopia

*the families waiting

*for birth mamma's & daddy's

*for speedy decisions/changes to take place within the government that would ultimately make this process more efficient!!

We are fighting for you baby girl!

Tooth.and.nail.on.our.knees.FIGHTING.for you!

The enemy will not win! He may cause delay but my God NEVER delays!

He is ALWAYS on time!

We are doing what Moses said:

"We are not going to be afraid! We are standing still & watching the Lord himself fight for you!"

Ex 14:13-14

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Created 4 Care: My Confession...

2013-01-28T08:24:00.000-08:00

"That doesn't sound like you."

Is what my momma told me this morning on the phone when I was telling her about my weekend at Created 4 Care.
This weekend was not a fun, warm fuzzy, picture takin' weekend.
It was a hard, lonely, emotional one.

Imagine a woman who can't bear children surrounded by 400+ momma's who all weekend are sharing their stories about their children, showing pictures on their phones to each other, laughing, taking pictures together in hopes of keeping up with each other later.

This is how I felt.

Listening to all the other adoptive mamma's go on & on about their travel experiences, the countries, the challenges they are dealing with now, when they are adopting next, share the pictures..

And then after they got finished my questions would come:

What country are you adopting from?
Me: Ethiopia

How long have you been home?
Me: We are waiting.

Oh, how long have you been waiting?
Me: Almost 5 months

Yes, we waited 2 years.

TWO YEARS
2.YEARS

And that was every other conversation I had or over heard.

Ethiopia....2.5 year wait....Ethiopia....2 year wait....Ethiopia....3 year wait......

This thought of this time in the waiting room being 6-12 months is not reality.
Listen, it could be, but the chances are not likely.
The hard core truth is that we are going to be waiting a loooooong time.

Before I knew it, I was becoming angry, bitter, JEALOUS, lonely & was ready to leave.

Sure there were 250+ other momma's there who were also in the waiting room along with me but the last thing I wanted to do go seek them out & encourage them to sit around with me and talk about how jealous I was. Who in the world would want to do that?

I knew my heart was showing on my face. I knew that it was becoming VERY obvious that everything I was feeling was being shown and I HATED it. How selfish of me to allow my sour state effect my friends who are rejoicing with fellow momma's and new friends over what the Lord has done for them, how He is still working all of their stuff for good & sharing those precious pictures of their blessings!

Saturday night I found myself around a corner by myself to escape the smiles & laughter, Bible in hand & called my husband.

I begin to tell him everything I was feeling, experiencing & how I just wanted to escape it SO BAD!
I was ready to come home.

He tried to encourage me & remind me that all of them had been exactly where I was at one point & knew how I was feeling & for me to remember all that the Lord had done thus far in our journey. His voice was encouraging alone.

We hung up & I just sat. I needed something from the Lord, I needed some encouragement from HIS Word.
I opened my Bible to Habakkuk, of all places, & began reading:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms & there are no grapes on the vines,

even though the olive crop fails & the fields lie empty & barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields & the cattle barns are empty,

YET I will rejoice in the Lord!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

Hab 3:17-19

This is exactly how I was feeling.
No blossoms, no grapes, failure, EMPTY, BARREN

But I KNEW I had to CHOOSE to rejoice.
And at the time, the last thing I wanted to do was rejoice.
It comes to the point where you choose to trump your feelings & beg the Holy Spirit to take over.

I had to read the words out.loud. Just reading them in my mind was not good enough.
I had to say them out loud.
When His name is said, the very atmosphere has to change.
And it.did for me in that moment. Thank you LORD.

He met me right there in that little corner, right in my bitterness, anger, jealousy, loneliness & gave me a Word of hope.

Even though my little pink blossom isn't here yet & the barn is feeling empty of a precious little girl, YET I will rejoice in the Lord.

Y'all the rubber is hitting the road.

We heard this weekend:

"Adoption is not an act, it's a process."

And this stripping away of me is a part of the process called: "Adoptification" aka sanctification through adoption.

I went back to our room filled with 2 momma's home with their China babies & one friend who came as a supporter to her best friend.

Side note: you do NOT have to be an adoptive momma to attend Created 4 Care. You can come as a supporter of someone you know who is adopting/has adopted. OR if you are praying about/considering adoption. I HIGHLY recommend you attend. This kind of real-life training/teaching is not in a book & not online.

I knew the Lord was doing a work. As I laid there in the bed Saturday night I literally felt like I was in a warzone. The enemy on one side & the Lord on the other. My flesh on 1 side & the Holy Spirit on the other and I COULD NOT get the upper hand. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't overcome the jealousy, the bitterness, the anger, the feeling of wanting to escape. Even with my Word He had just given me to help me in that moment I knew something else was needing to take place.

The next morning the Lord delivered the perfect message through our speaker.
He tends to do that.
Deliver just what you need at just the right timing.
Whether it's a word or a Lily.

She taught on the story of Hagar, you know, the Egyptian servant Sarai got Abram to sleep with so they could have an heir? Sarai became contempt (angry/jealous) with Hagar & treated her horribly so Hagar fled to the wilderness. Poor Hagar! This was not her fault! When she got to the wilderness the Angel of the Lord FOUND her (bc He sees right where we are), called her by Name (bc He knows our name) & asked her "where have you come from & where are you going?" The Angel proceeded to tell Hagar to return to Sarai, submit to her authority & added "I will give you more descendants that you can count." (Through her son Ishmael.) The Angel went on to be very honest with her & told her "this son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, yes he will live in open hostility with his relatives."
Then Hagar referred to the Lord as "El Roi" which means, "the God who sees" & she said "I have been seen by the One who sees."

Once you have been seen by The One who see's, it doesn't matter who else sees you.

So Hagar went back. Abraham & Sarah had their son Issac. He grew up & was about to be weaned so they threw a party. At the party Sarah saw Ishmael laughing & that same bitterness & anger rose up in her towards her Egyptian servant Hagar & Sarah had Hagar & Ishmael banished.

IMPORTANT PART:

Hagar & Ishmael ended up wandering in the wilderness & when the water was gone she made Ishmael go sit in the shade while she went a little ways off & began to pour her heart out to the Lord.
"I don't want to watch the boy die."
God heard the cries of the boy & said "Hagar, I have heard the boy crying, go to him & comfort him, for I will make a great nation from his descendants."

And here it is..............

"Then God opened Hagar's eyes........and she saw a well full of water....."

In her state of hopelessness Hagar had lost her vision. She could no longer see. She couldn't see what the Lord was doing. She couldn't fix her eyes on the promise He had made to her the first time in the wilderness: " I will give you more descendants than you can count."

When He opened her eyes, He opened her spiritual eyes & gave her vision.

He enabled her to see the movement she could not see.

Oh Lord this is what I need!! The reality of waiting for a possibility of years completely & utterly wipes out my vision. I'm being honest.

This is not something my husband's sweet words can encouragement me to get through.
This is not something my best friend who has been there & done that can get me through.
This is ONLY something the Lord can get me through and the realization of this IS HARD.

In my kicking & screaming on the inside, my flesh, wants to take over & become a hard hearted, bitter, jealous girl.

There is my confession.
Here is what I am asking the Lord:

Open my spiritual eyes so I can see the movement I can not see with my own eyes.
I want to perceive what You are doing.
I want to know what you are doing.
I want to be aware of your presence.

This picture of me coming to the END of myself & Him taking over is what it feels like.
And the scary part is that I know there will be more things to come to the end of but...

There.is.no.place.I'd.rather.be.
Becoming more like my Jesus is worth it.
And my daughter is worth it.
And His glory is worth it.
And knowing Him more is worth it.

That image of the man sculpting a tiger out of a block of wood comes to mind.
He see's the tiger before He even begins & chisels everything away that is not the tiger for the end result...

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror but THEN we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but THEN I will know everything completely, just as God knows me completely.

1 Cor 13:12

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

T-4.25

2013-01-06T19:49:00.002-08:00

We've been a waiting a little over 4 {FOUR} Months!!!

It just zipped on by just like that!

And since it's been several weeks since I posted last there are lots to fill you in on what we've been doing waiting on this little African Princess to make her arrival.

A few months ago Emily & I took a road trip to Atlanta. (That's one of our favorite things to to! Shout out to our incredible husbands who give us to time steal away!) She told me that she had surprise lunch plans for us & of course I got excited! It KILLED me but I literally had no idea where we were going until we pulled up in the parking lot & saw this sign:

Y'all I could barley get into the dern parking space I was so excited!!!!!!!!
An AUTHENTIC ETHIOPIAN RESTAURANT!!!!
Of course I was tearing up before we could get in the door good! #tearball

We walked in to Authentic sites, music, art, people, clothing, pictures, baskets, food, you name it and it was real & straight from Ethiopia!!

Our waitress greeted us when we walked in & it.was.SURREAL! This young woman was beautiful & I couldn't help but think, my daughter! My daughter will resemble this when she is grown! SHE.WAS.BEAUTIFUL! Like, I couldn't stop starring at her.

When she sat us, it was sort of an awkward moment because I was obviously in a little state of shock/excitement/overwhelmed/emotional/every other feeling under the sun so Emily explained to her that it was our first time there & I was in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. She was very kind & patient & let me ask all sorts of questions. Part of me wanted to keep asking her questions just to hear her speak <3

Her name is Tizita. (tuh-zita) It means "melody" or "song." The way she described it was like as mother being filled with a melody/song (joy) over her baby. She just recently move to Atlanta.

We told her we wanted authentic ET food, we wanted to try everything & that I couldn't handle spicy food.
She handed us the menu:

And began to explain how it worked.
First let me point out what the Greeting says at the top:

"Sharing food from the same plate, and the breaking of injera, to pick up a mouth full of the chosen dish, signifies the bonds of friendship."

It was such a special treat to have my very first taste of Ethiopia with my best friend! What a cool thing to share with her! Our bond exceeds an injera breaking meal any day! #Jesus

Please Note: we passed on the Gursha tradition ;) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

While we were waiting on our food I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to get up and walk around to look at things. We had the whole place to ourselves! The Lord just arranged it that way so strangers wouldn't have to see my cryface. :)

Lots of DJ equipment behind those curtains. They like to dance ;)

All of the table tops had different things on/in them.

Some were filled with seeds & all sorts of things like this one below.

Others were filled with pictures of Athletes (running of course) & pictures of their beautiful land.

This one above is of the alphabet.

You have to know the condition of my heart right now.

It's so wanting any.little.thing it can grab to soak in & know about where/who our daughter is.

What music she is hearing,

The language spoken around her,

The distinct look of her people,

Their culture,

Their food

Their hair,

Their skin,

anything.

And ALL of it was right in front of me and I was just plain ole' overwhelmed.

It was like I had stepped inside Ethiopia for just a little while & got to feel it.

This process is causing us to fall in love with another land/country/people we have never met before & our hearts are becoming tied there.

I got back to our table, my heart so full of joy & longing for her at the same time.

The tears just came out.

So thankful, so so thankful to be there.

And I'm not exactly sure when we will be able to finally see her sweet face but one thing I'm sure of this...

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Ps 27:13

We will see her!

So the food came, we drank tea & shared our meal from this big circle thing with all sorts of stuff on it!

Some we recognized & some we didn't but tried.

So this is what you do, you unroll the rolls of injera around the edges, tear off a piece & use it to grab whatever your going to eat & then put all of it in your mouth.
The injera bread was spongy & porous & almost tasted like sour dough bread a little.

I'll be real honest with you, Tizita nor the owner of the restaurant would tell us what Tripe was when we ordered it. We tried it all, even the HOT AS FIRE spicy beef. I mean it was like someone was in my throat with a little knife jabbing me! H.O.T! After we both tried the Tripe Tizita & the owner came over to check on us & I asked him exactly what is tripe. He said "you know, tripe" and proceeded to rub his abdominal area and told us it was the stomach/intestines of a bull. Ummmmm.... WHAT? Yes, bull.

In other countries/cultures they just eat different things. Things other than Filet Minon are delicacies!
Anyway, the food was VERY good and filling! A FUN new adventure for sure!

And then it came time to leave.
GAH I'm such a tear ball.
I had to say out loud "get it together Kimberly!"

He is good Y'all. The Lord is so good.
We may not have her yet but He is giving me opportunities to get closer.
Opportunities like eating lunch at this place & experiencing a little bit of Ethiopia with my best friend.

He know, He knows my heart & my weakness & hears our prayers.
The Holy Spirit groans with us in accordance to His will. (Rom 8:26)
Would you pray with us, would you groan with us, that He would bring her home this year?
Especially those of you who have waited for your precious ones from across that big ocean.
That 2013 would be the year she is forever ours?

Emily, thank you for an unforgettable/precious day! Best.day.EVER! I love you my friend!

Thank you for your prayers & kind words of encouragement!
Every person who has asked/said "any news" "how's it going" "I'm praying for you guys".
Oh Lily you are so loved already baby girl!

Tomorrow is Christmas Day in Ethiopia!! I'm praying this is her LAST year in Ethiopia!!! That next year she'll spend Christmas with US!!!

Here's an explanation to their calendar system: http://goafrica.about.com/b/2012/08/27/recelebrate-the-year-2004-in-ethiopia.htm

It's actually pretty cool, I mean over there it's the year 2004!

Our Christmas this year was great! Started out a little weepy feeling like their was one missing, because there is BUT the Lord was ever present & filled us up to the brim with thanksgiving! We have a lot to be thankful for, esp this year.

This was probably my favorite gift & it wasn't even for me:

I have TONS of these in my momma's attic. I was a Cabbage Patch fanatic when I was a little girl!
I can't WAIT to give this to her!!!

We are still waiting& expectant! Our estimated wait time is 6-12 months. It could be longer.

Thank you for asking, thank you for praying.
Thank you Lord for grace during this time.
Do what only you can do, Lord!
Find Your glory here!
Our eyes are.on.YOU!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

T-2

2012-11-04T21:07:00.000-08:00

We've been waiting TWO months!
And honestly the Lord has kept us so busy the days have flown by.
THAT'S GOOD FOR THIS MOMMA!!
Our time waiting so far as been spent praying for our sweet baby girl.
For her health & protection. For the Lord to send missionaries to serve in her orphanage. For her caretakers. For rain. LOTS of things to pray for.

HOPE: A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
Trust - expect - anticipate

In this waiting room, this verse has taken on new meaning for me:

If we already have something, we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently & confidently.

Romans 8:24-25

We dont' have her yet, so we are hoping for her and waiting patiently & confidently.

And how are we doing this?

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.

Romans 8:26

We are asking the Holy Spirit to help us.

I'm not gonna lie.

If I sit and think about waiting for an email, wondering what she's doing, how old she's going to be, what will be going on work wise for me, my palms immediately sweat, my fingers tingle & my heart beats super fast.

It's the wondering & not knowing that gets me.

The lack of control that I have.

It's an area of weakness that I have to ask the Holy Spirit to help me in.

And guess what, He does! And He is! #teamHolySpirit

Ultimately, the hope of this adoption is the glory of God.

We are living with a hope. An anticipation!

Similar to how we should be living in light of Jesus' return!

No one knows when He's coming back for His church so in the mean time we wait! Patiently & confidently & we tell others about Him. {Matt 24:36}

Today also happens to be Orphan Sunday.

A day for Christians to stand for the orphans.

We are a people called to defend the fatherless…to care for the child that has no family…to visit orphans in their distress.

So today we stand not only for our daughter but for the other orphans in this world.

Be it across the ocean or in a foster home right down the street.

Adoption makes God's heart visible.

There are numerous INCREDIBLE videos out there to watch but I'll just go ahead and warn you, grab a tissue before you hit play.

This is the best video I've seen on the perfect explanation of adoption.

http://av.vimeo.com/88012/815/113797742.mp4?token=1352089966_c0065496eb4c6a7bde6dd6699aa42934

Adoption is all Gospel centered.

It's all about Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Not about us rescuing these children.

Have you sought asked the Lord what James 1:27 looks like for you?

Caring could be adopting but it could also mean fostering, sponsoring, clothing, feeding; the list goes on and on. You must do something. Ask Him what He would have YOU do.

I hope next year when we observe Orphan Sunday there will be ONE LESS and she'll be fast asleep with her sweet little head on her hot pink pillow right here in this house! *SQUEEL*

Tonight at church a sweet friend gave us a PRECIOUS gift!

I can't tell you enough how much it means for friends to be praying for her!! I can't WAIT to get this on our tree at Christmas! Thank you so much my friend!

Another sweet friend who was serving as a missionary in Ethiopia brought these cross necklaces back for us!

She said the children at the orphanage prayed for Lily before she left.

SO SPECIAL TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! {I smelled them. Because I smell everything. But I really wanted a hint of Ethiopia in that box!}

I can tell you when I think of having any part of anything the Lord does humbles me to no end.

That the Creator of the Universe would choose/allow us to be a part of this blows.my.mind.

We are experiencing Him in ways I just don't know that we would have apart from this journey and the truth is I've been told this is the easy part. The hard part comes after they arrive...

Do what only you can do Lord.

Find Your glory here.

Our hope is in You and You alone.

We trust in Your perfect timing.

Lily, we are crazy about you.

Your brothers talk about you and pray for you everyday.

Your Meme's heart is expanding.

Your Pepaw asks about you.

My best friend prays for you daily.

And there are LOTS of friends who are just plain excited to meet you.

We love you and hope to see you soon!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Ethiopia

2012-11-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

*Ethiopia is almost twice the size of Texas
*The favorite drink of many Ethiopians is bunna (coffee). Bunna is drank in a unique and traditional way known as a "coffee ceremony". First the coffee is roasted, then ground and placed in a Jebena (coffee pot) with boiling water. When ready it is then served to people in little cups, up to three times per ceremony.
*Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa and one of the oldest in the world.
*Ethiopia's staple food is injera, a spongy bread made of a unique crop only grown in Ethiopia called "teff." Injera is baked in a clay pan and eaten with sauce made of either meat, ground grains, beans or vegetables.
*The lively and irresistible eskista dance is performed almost entirely with the shoulders.
*Soccer is the most popular sport
*Ethiopia is the fourth poorest nation in the world with nearly 5 million orphans struggling every day to survive.
*Nearly 2 million people are infected with HIV and many children will watch their parents die of the disease.
*One in every ten children do not make it to their first birthday and one in six die before their fifth birthday

Ethiopian Flag

*Red stripe stands for power, faith and blood
*Yellow symbolizes the church, peace, natural wealth and love
*Green represents the land and hope.

The colors were also interpreted to have a connection to the Holy Trinity, and the three main provinces of Ethiopia.

*Star represents unity of the people and the races that make up Ethiopia.
*The five rays on the outside of the star represent prosperity and the blue disk represents peace.

Awesome Organizations:

Visiting Orphans
Ordinary Hero
Created for Care
Small World Adoption Agency
AMG International
Red Thread Sessions

Time Line!

2012-11-02T05:31:00.004-07:00

2011

*9.30.11 Mailed Application to Small World Adoption Agency
*10.4.11 Received approval from Small World
*12.14.11 Mailed in paper work for Home Study to Open Door Adoption Agency

2012

*2.1.12 1st Home Study Meeting
*2.7.12 2nd Home Study Meeting
*2.14.12 3rd Home Study Meeting
*2.16.12 Homestudy COMPLETE!
*4.30.12 Agency Fee PAID! WOOT!
*5.9.12 Received $20,000 grant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*6.7.12 Mailed application for I600a
*6.29.12 Had finger prints done in Jacksonville
*7.13.12 MAILED OUR DOSSIER to Small World
*8.31.12 Officially waiting with Small World!!!!

2013

*4.12.13 #2 on the wait list!

*5.24.13 #1 on the wait list!!!!!!!

2014

*1.14 Found out Small World officially lost their operating license in Ethiopia
*2.14.14 Withdrew from Small World
*2.17.14 Accepted by IAN (International Adoption Net)
*3.14.14 Officially waiting with IAN
Infant Girl: 40, #24 of active families

Toddler Girl: 39, #26 of active families

Sibling group: 24, #17 of active families
*5.15.14 Homestudy update/increased age range joined boy wait lists/opened up to SN

2015

*8.26.15 Waitlist update

Infant girl: #26, active # 16

Infant boy: #24, active # 17

Toddler girl:#27,active # 20

Toddler boy:#20 ,active # 14

Siblings:#15, active #11

Older girl:#8, active #8

Older boy:#6, active number 5

*10.16.15 RECEIVED OUR REFERRAL CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*10.20.15 Accepted our REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2016

*3.11.16 Submitted to PAIR (still need 2 documents. anticipating RFE's for them. Working towards obtaining then
while in PAIR.)
* 3.31.16 Dossier arrived in Ethiopia
*4.2.16 Received PAIR packet back missing signature 4.1.16 mailed back 4.2.16
*4.2.16 Received one of the documents (police report) we have been praying about for MONTHS!!!!! GLORY!!
* 5.27.16 passed 1st court appointment
*Received RFE's (copy of police report & international letter) Have until July 16th to get them in.
*6.16.16 Received international letter we were waiting on for RFE's. Submitted to officer at immigration.
*6.30.16 Our case is now at Embassy in Ethiopia! They will request a finder interview with the police officer with his case. Once this is complete we are done with PAIR!
*8.18.16 Finder/Police officer interview scheduled at Embassy
*8.29.16 I-604 Investigation is complete! Waiting on PAIR Letter.
*8.30.16 Back to Jacksonville for 4th & final set of fingerprints
*9.3.16 Received our long awaited PAIR letter in the mail!
*12.29.16 COURT!

About Us

2012-11-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

We are a Jesus lovin' family who desire for the Lord to get all the glory from our journey to bring home our son (#4) from Ethiopia!!

Me & my Luvah {Roger}

#1 {Cameron}

#2 {Malachi}

#3 {Elim}

T - 1

2012-10-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a year.
We've been in this process for a year.
I can't believe it! I mean I can but I can't!
10.04.2011 is when we received approval into our agency.

And we have been waiting for ONE solid month!
I know it's only one but that's A LOT for this waiting momma!

And while we still haven't "heard" anything we are still excited and expectant!

We surprised our boys with a trip to Wild Adventures last Saturday.
It was #2&3's very first time to any theme park much less a roller coaster! I was
curious to see their reactions and they LOVED riding the coasters!

This was them waiting to ride their 1st one!

Me & Cam in line for our coaster :)

The swings are my favorite ride :)

My ~~eye~~ heart caught every.single. precious African American little girl.
I stared at their hair, cute outfits, eyelashes, little toes, their mommas holding them & honestly wanted to tear up but I couldn't!
{At this point in the waiting game the excitement is still fresh.}

Then we went over to the "African Safari" Train ride.

I'll be real honest, once you have seen, smelled, tasted the real thing, it's almost offensive to be in a "pretend" one. We sat in the back of the train directly in front of the young guy who talked over the mic about what he knew about the animals. When we got around to the Wildebeest he said a few facts about them and when he finished I turned to him and said "In Africa they call them "Veel-duh-beast." He laughed and it was fun talking about the real Africa. The kids loved it.

{on the train}

{night safari S. Africa, May 2012}

"Veel-duh-beest" aka Wildebeest

We thought of Lily the whole time but for obvious reasons we needed another RIDER! At 5 we are un-even :)

But also because just about every time E checked to see if he was tall enough to ride the poles looked like this:

The colors from the Ethiopian flag <3

We had yummy treats and then visited the Tiger Show.

The Tiger show did me in.
As we sat there waiting for the show to begin they were playing real, authentic African music. There really isn't as much talk about tigers in Africa as there are lions but never the less they were playing African music.
It took me baaaaaaaack to South Africa and made the teaaaaaars start comin'.

You just sometimes don't realize how much you miss something until you hear a sound, smell a smell or see a picture.

I missed Africa at that moment real bad. Like cover my face for a sec with the ugly cry, real bad.

The faces, the dirt, they way they say "I greet you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ" when someone stands before you, the way in prayer they say "Mighty God" many times because to them He is their mighty God and to us He's just what we call to when we need something, the desperation for Christ & they haven't heard yet, the smiles, the singing, their voices, the dry air, the baobab trees, the hugs, the bumpy roads, the rocks, the animals, the sweet juice every morning, the slow pace, the rawness, the boys at the shelter, playing football, their hands, their feet, those eyes.... I miss it.

And while I can't WAIT to see my daughter for the first time I can't WAIT to be back in Africa.
There is a longing to be back there nothing here satisfies.

Before we left Musina, S. Africa, I asked our guide which way was Ethiopia. He pointed and so I went there and had a little moment by myself with the Lord. Emily had given me a card with "wishes" in it. You know, the little white things from dandelions. {we love wishing flowers} I took those wishes and turned them into prayers and blew them in her direction. Telling her we'd be coming back soon and couldn't wait to hold her. Asking the Lord to protect her and keep her safe, for her to remain healthy & keep her learning right on track.

This was my view:

Over that fence and over those hills is where Ethiopia is.
Over those hills lies something good.
I know because God's Word says He's good to those who wait and hope in Him. {Lam 3:25}

And one day we'll be back and even closer.

Oh what a day of rejoicing that will be!!!

T - ONE month down, who knows how else many more?
He does.
So we wait.

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Here's a link to a video of our groups favorite song while we were in Africa!

http://vimeo.com/44269825