Because I must blog

I have this problem

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:43:00 +0000

I have this problem. I can't stop planning...things.

I don't know what it is about me but I manage to agree to plan a lot of stuff - which frankly doesn't make a lot of sense when I don't have a tremendous amount of spare time.

I guess I've always been a ridiculous organizer/planner type of my kid's birthday parties. They must have a theme and everything must fall in line with that theme. Oh and I plan two parties per year at work. But still that didn't exactly seem overwhelming.

But then somewhere along the line that developed into something more. Last school year, I decided I wouldn't just be a sideline PTA member (read paying for membership but not volunteering). I decided I would actually volunteer. And I didn't just volunteer I chaired two committees.

Just this past summer after our family reunion ended, I agreed to plan the next one. I'm not sure what crazy overtook me at that point- but I'm confident it involved crazy because that involves a whole lot of people in a whole bunch of different states and travel and food and Oy. My head hurts thinking about it.

And if that wasn't enough a few months ago when I heard no one stepped up to plan the school auction -I did it. Some little voice in my head told me it would be fun. In reality it's been 60% fun 40% stress.

So here's where you armchair psychologists get to diagnose me. Why am I a big old nutball that takes on things that inevitably stress me out yet as soon as one is over I jump right into the next with little more than a month to rest ?

I know, I need help, right? I am a mystery to myself.

And on that note, Happy New Year my friends. I'm telling myself I will blog more in 2012

(And there's yet another committment - someone break out the straightjacket. Now)

Teaching about Giving with Help from Radio Disney- Updated**

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:46:00 +0000

Ok y'all, you know I don't tend to post press releases and such. However, I'm doing it now.
Why, you may ask. Because right around this time my kids get a horrible case of the "gimme gimmes" and "I wants". All year long we try to emphasize that our kids are very fortunate to have all that they do and teach them that there are some children and families who aren't as fortunate. We teach them that it's important to give back. But this time of year, when every piece of mail and every other television commercial highlights the slickest, shiniest must have Christmas item it's a challenge, for sure.

And that's why I think what Radio Disney is doing this year is particularly cool. They're brilliantly mixing giving with kid infused fun and games. My family and I will be attending the one in our local area at Factoria Mall from 10-4. Please, if they're in your local area and you can make it out consider doing so (basic info below. Check the website for events in your local area).

Happy Turkey Week and start of the holiday season my friends!

****************************************

RADIO DISNEY ENCOURAGES KIDS AND FAMILIES TO GIVE BACK THIS HOLIDAY SEASON WITH THE LAUNCH OF ITS FIRST ANNUAL "FESTIVAL OF GIVING," DECEMBER 3 AND 4

--Local Radio Disney Stations in Over 30 Markets bring multiple charities together for a convenient way to give back--

On DECEMBER 3 AND 4, Radio Disney stations in over 30 markets are bringing multiple charities together in their local communities to create a convenient way for kids and families to help others this holiday season.
"Festival of Giving" kicks off Radio Disney’s Project Family initiative, inspiring families to spend time together in an effort to make a lasting, positive change at home, in their community and the world at large.

"We know our audience of kids and families is passionate about giving back," said Sean Cocchia, General Manager and Senior Vice President, Radio Disney. He added, "With the busy holiday season upon us, 'Festival of Giving' will make it easy and fun for families to donate to local philanthropic organizations in their communities."

All 31 "Festival of Giving" events will have a variety of organizations on-site to take donations including Toys for Tots, Salvation Army, The Humane Society, local food banks and animal shelters among others. Each event will be hosted by Radio Disney’s local stations and will feature music, interactive entertainment and prizes.

*disclosure: I was not compensated or provided anything for this post I'm simply passing along information I think is worthy

Top 10 Reasons I shouldn't be allowed out of the house before sunrise

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:58:00 +0000

One would think that having been in bootcamp for a little over a year now I'd have this thing down pat. I leave the house wearing my workout clothes with bag packed chock full of all the items I need to shower and get ready at work.

Pack the night before. What's that scouting motto ? Always be prepared. Or whatever. It's easy enough right ?

But it's not. For me.

~~9 times out of 10~~ 10 times out of 10 I am beyond tired and it's all I can do in the evening to cook dinner, review homework, wash my workout clothes from the day before, walk the dog, pick out clothes for my kids for the next day and blah blah blah... you get it. There is just so much to do. And it makes me think "Hey I need one less thing to do". I can pack in the morning!

So I do it. And it ultimately causes one (or more) of the items on my top 10 list to occur

10) It's way too early for your thoughts to be anything resembling coherent so you will inevitably forget to pack underwear. And one day when this happens you will have packed a dress to wear (True story)

9) You will forget your towel and figure out how annoyingly challenging it is to dry off with paper towels (also a true story.In fact this happened today)

7) The rooster's aren't even up, you will forget your bra. And the shirt you're wearing doesn't work with the braless look. This will later become the day you learned how to fashion a bra from scotch tape (Also true. last Friday)

6)

Well I don't really have a six through one. But c'mon after number 7 do I really need one ?
And that my friends, is why I shouldn't be allowed out of the house before sunrise.

Jabra Sport Review and Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:44:00 +0000

A few months ago I was contacted on behalf of Jabra a company I hadn't heard of but quickly learned produced " handsfree and corded communication solutions" to demo their latest in mobile fitness equipment.

I was immediately intrigued because as you know, I'm on what feels like the never ending quest to get fit and will try just about anything to help me get there. No wait. Scratch that. I'm not a proponent of fly by night junk that promises overnight results. I am however a fan of things that make my run and/or workout seem less like a chore. Like music. Nothing gets me going better than hot beats or pulse pounding electronica during a workout.

Up until I was contacted, I'd been working with music via my phone played through your standard corded headset. Which? Ok,fine it works - but there are those times when I'm bouncing and the cord bounces and then it gets tangled or worse yet becomes detached and then I have to stop to plug it back in and uggh, that kind of irritates me. But I dealt with it because? What else could I do ?

Enter the Jabra Sport a cordless headset that works through bluetooth technology and allows you to play music and take calls while working out. Let me say that again. It's cordless. I know. Cool right ? I slap on those earpieces, the cord remains behind my head and out of the way, then I turn on the music and ride (run/workout) like the wind (uh excuse the cheesy 80s song reference).

Seriously though, I have been using my Jabra sport for a few months now and can say without hesitation that I am in deep deep love. It's completely easy to use, stays charged for up to 4.5 hours at a time, allows you to control volume and song selection from the earpiece and most importantly does none of the aforementioned things that,now that I have this gem, can say kinda drove me batty. The cord is ridiculously strong so even someone like me who is rough on things can't break that sucker. I'm told it's military grade.

I may never go corded again.

The Jabra Sport retails for about $90 on Amazon but if you want to check one out for yourself go here and enter to win a Sport, a carrying case for the sport, an armband and a free download of the fitness tracker app Endomondo. C'mon. You know you want to enter.

Disclosure* Opinions are my own. I was given a Jabra Sport cordless headset to facilitate this review.

Untitled and Random

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 19:29:00 +0000

I need to write something, I keep telling myself over and over again. Yet, when I come to this space I don't write anything.

I don't know why this space, this space that used to be so important has become so neglected. I'm not really any busier than I was when I started blogging (which is to say I'm always busy but not busier). There are plenty of events I want to write about- I just, I don't know...

So I decided I'd update you on random pieces of my life in hopes that it will stir something in me that makes me want to come back here and post as frequently as I did before.

Here goes:

Weight loss and fitness quest continues. I'm still doing bootcamp but I haven't met my goals. This frustrates me greatly

Work,Work and more work. Oh and to top that off I'm planning a few events for the twins school and the next family reunion for like 8 bazillion people. IKNOW! What was I thinking ?

TomGirl, my oldest stepdaughter, turned 18 in March and is dating a 24 year old. This!? Also frustrates me. He's a nice enough guy, but frankly he's too dang old. She's waaaaay to into him and I fear she's going to get her heart stomped

GT, my youngest stepdaughter, can't stay out of trouble.

The twins started school and are doing fairly well. But me? I hate 3rd grade math

The hubby has a new gas powered RC car hobby which is going to cause us to go broke

Alright,it's not all bad( I'm just very very good at whining)

Managed to hit a few parties with some friends I haven't seen in a while and throw the hubby a super spectacular 40th birthday soiree.

While I haven't reached my goal weight I am noticing I've lost inches which of
course means new wardrobe. So there's been shopping. Which? Makes me so happy

Lastly, for the very random but completely crazy:

Remember a while back I talked about how obsessed I get about planning my kids birthday parties ? Well, I am not alone. And I'm not as crazed as I thought I was.

This past weekend my daughter, J and I went to GirlFest which is essentially a day for girls with activities, performances and vendor booths sponsored by Girl Scouts. In any event, we visited a party planning booth which had me over the moon because it was hip and fresh- And someone else to do the work for me? Love it!

But upon asking the owner for a general price, I found that a (rock star) party for 8 girls was $820. "We can work within your budget and don't have to include everything" the owner said. Yeah, maybe I wouldn't need all those technical consultants for the lighting (Whattheeverlovingeff ?)
I.There.are.no.words. I just want to know who pays that?

So there you go.

Random and untitled.

We camped, we saw, we kicked...

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 22:40:00 +0000

A few posts ago, I talked about our upcoming summer camping plans and how I was thrilled to be able to go on said trips and partake of some much needed R & R. Well my friends, I've now done as I planned and let me tell you both trips were fantastic-just as I'd hoped.

But for the purposes of this post, let's focus on the last trip that my family and I took courtesy of Go Camping America. After much research (because, let me tell you, they have tons of wonderful resorts to chose from)I decided Maple Grove Resort would be the best location for our family.
It wasn't too far, they have cabins (as much as I'd like to have my very own RV. I don't. Yet.) an indoor pool (which for this crazy Washington weather is a GODSEND), a clubhouse, children's playground, children's rec room, you name it they had it. So we headed off on a Saturday, got there in record time and as luck would have it were treated to good weather.

Check in was a breeze, the staff incredibly friendly and can I say that we absolutely LOVED our cabin? It was seriously more than we expected. I've done remote tent camping and "rustic" cabin camping and these cabins seemed like luxury accomodations-as far as cabins go. I guess what I'm trying to say is that they were positively adorable and stocked with everything we could possibly need. The only thing we brought were linens and grub. It was that easy.

Activities were plentiful including my first time ever playing "card bingo" (played with a deck of playing cards). Best of all, the public bathrooms and areas were immaculate. Yes, we had a bathroom in our cabin but frankly we weren't in there that much and it was nice to know that all of the other facilities were completely clean!

I can't say enough about how much fun we had - including snipe hunting at dark...which was also a first for me. Thank goodness my husband is a more experienced camper and can share these "traditions" with our kids.

Here, take a look for yourself: I've uploaded a short video of our time at Maple Grove and entered it in Go Camping America's Not Bummer Summer Contest. You too can upload a short video of your family vacation at any of their resorts for a chance to win the grand prize of a 7 day RV trip (RV rental included) to any of their parks. But if you don't plan on that , would you consider favoriting (adding it to your favorites) this on YouTube for me. That's how I win.

And if you can't be bothered to watch the whole thing (although,gah, it's only 2 minutes and 38 seconds) skip to the end. My son will show you some moves that will have you howlin.

Smooches!

And then I almost died...

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:16:00 +0000

So at the ripe old age of 38 I have...hip problems. Inorite!? I didn't expect this for at least 40 more years or... never.

But so it is. And it's derailed my hot body/fitness plans enough so that I went to the doctor to make sure I wouldn't need to be the youngest hip replacement candidate ever.

Things were going along swimmingly for a while, meaning I was sitting by myself waiting for the doctor, when he reappeared to examine my x-ray. Initially, he told me everything looked fine. Then I saw it. It looked like a golfball right in the middle of my pelvis.

"What's that?" I asked in a shaky voice thinking it's a tumor and I'd be dead in 10 minutes

"Hmm,are you constipated? Sometimes stool balls can look like that"

"Uh no, I'm uh very regular" I said partially amused but mostly embarassed

"When's the last time you saw your GYN? You really should have that looked at"

And that's when I knew death was imminent. In that fraction of a second I'd diagnosed myself with everything from a malignant tumor to,well,everything unmentionable and horrible.

I managed to tell him that I see my OB-regularly and wondered why they wouldn't have caught something so gargantuan.

"I can't say...but"

Then it hit me "Well I have fibroids, but my OB's office checks them regularly since I have a family history of fibroids and related surgeries"

"Could one of them be calcified?"

I quickly remembered that I'd been told shortly after I had the twins that one of them had calcified and thus was no longer in danger of growing and causing problems. Upon sharing that news with the Doc, he clicked in the corner on the radiologist's notes and read "patient has 2cm calcified fibroid"

"2 cm. Why does it look so large?"

And then Doc fuckup measures the golfball and confirms it's indeed 2cm.

"Yep, I geuss that's what it is then"

Cue me, mouth open, ready to box "Um we could have just read the notes and done this before and saved me the worry" (nervous chuckle)

"Yeah, I guess we could have" (authentic chuckle from Dr Fuckup)

It was at that moment that I pulled the razor blade from my hair and promptly cut him. Ok, not really. I really just wiped the sweat from my brow and breathed a sigh of relief.

But, if there was ever a moment I wanted to roll gangster style and do something like that it certainly would have been then.

Yeehaw, Summer (and Camping!) here we come!

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:56:00 +0000

I told you all last year how much I look forward to summer and the freedom from homework. And fortunately, that time my friends, is upon us again.

I must tell you, I feel like dancing. So what's on tap for my family you might ask? Paris, Rome, Greece - you know your typical whirlwind trip around the world wining and dining it at 4 star restaurants of course.

Alright so maaaybe not...

But the fam and I do have a few trips planned. Camping in Cali in just a few weeks for the hubs' family reunion and while to some that may sound all "meh", I have the bestest,craziest, funnest in laws ever that are deservering of made up words to describe their funocity. So there.

And more camping! Yay! I mean who doesn't love camping? Enjoying nature,swimming, hiking, relaxing, cooking over a campfire and telling scary stories. Not to mention -when you have a family of up to 6 at times the expense makes perfect sense.

Y'all care to join me? This month is national Go Camping month and the folks at Go Camping America want you to do just that. To help you do so, they've introduced their 'Get Outdoors & Go Camping America..It's Easy! promotion.

Go here for great discounts including 20% off stays at any of their parks (nationwide),discounts for Camping World, Coleman Products and El Monte RVs! Hurry as these discounts are only good through 6/25.

And lastly, they've teamed up with the kids movie, Judy Moody to sponsor the 'Not Bummer Summer Go Camping America Video Contest'. They're encouraging families who take advantage of the discounted camping to capture their experience on film for a chance to win a grand prize RV camping vacation getaway! For more info on that portion of the campaign click here

And hey,meet me at the campfire. I'm told I make a mean s'more.

*Disclosure-My family receives a trip at one of the above parks in consideration of the above promotion

And this is why I have a "mommy" blog

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 16 May 2011 15:24:00 +0000

Ok, ok if we're getting technical, this blog is not even close to being a "mommy" blog. It's not that I mind that title necessarily. I just think it's a misnomer or mis categorization as this blog isn't so much parenting stories as it is the rants and raves of a woman that just happens to be a parent.

That said, I'm owning the title "mommyblogger" today because I couldn't not share this amusing kid tale:

Both my husband and I have been working furiously over the last several weeks to help my son,B master all the acheivements he must complete to earn his wolf badge and advance to the next level of scouts. The activities run the gamut from discussion of cooperation and courage to the more physical such as hiking and sports.

It's been a challenge, in part because B hasn't really wanted to focus on some of the tasks at hand but also because B's mommy and daddy have been known to slack every now and again.

*Ahem*

Yesterday, the task at hand was to discuss bicycle safety. B and I went through a series of questions all of which he answered with ease.

What do we always wear when we ride a bike ? "A helmet" .

What do we do before getting on our bike ? "Do a check to make sure nothing is broken and that all parts are working".

And then I asked him " What do we watch out for in the street?"

"Crack and herrion" he said

I looked over at my husband for some help to clarify who these people crack and herrion were that he was referring to. He looked just as confused as I was.

I looked again at my child and asked "What?"

"Crack and herrion" he said

Still perplexed, I started to probe a little bit more when his sister J all of a sudden says

"He means crack and heroin. You know street drugs"

"Oh yeah heroin" my son says

I looked at my husband and laughed until tears came from my eyes, stopping only for a moment to tell my son he was exactly right and that yes he should watch out for crack and heroin on the streets. But what I was referring to was his need to watch out for cars and other people.

"Oh" he said "yeah that"

And through my belly laughs I again reassured him his answer was right on but that I was looking for something else in that context.

Although I'm pretty sure we couldn't finish up after that.

And I would just like to thank the school district for teaching my children about street drugs and to "Just say No"

but mostly for the huge, gigantic belly laugh

Today, I wax nostalgic

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Wed, 11 May 2011 16:57:00 +0000

It was eight years ago today that my life was forever changed. At 12:38 and 12:40 I laid my eyes upon two of the most beautiful babies that would quickly steal my heart and make it full. To my son B, and my daughter J, I love you more than words can say.

Happy Birthday, my loves!

Some things are just too funny not to post

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:27:00 +0000

I think I mentioned way back when that to me Craigslist is comedy gold. I know that's not its intent,but good lord, with stuff like this how can it not be? Honestly, I may not need to sell or buy a thing but I find that I look at Craigslist regularly just so I can find little gems like this:

Need money, can do many types of jobs < location redacted>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-04-01, 3:58PM PDT
Reply to: @craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am in desperate need for rent money and am looking for any odd jobs that people need done so that I can keep my place.

I am a 22 yr old girl out of cosmetology school that needs some extra cash.

I am a great listener and will keep people company
I can help people move to their new apartment
Babysitting, I'm very good with kids
Being someones date for an event, I am very personable and cute!
Event shows
Handing out flyers
Cleaning!
Anything within means, this is not meant to be perverted, I just want to help other people and be able to stay at my apt this month!

Please email me reasonable requests,
Thanks

Sure she says "reasonable requests". But,Let me spank you while I wear a gorilla costume might be a perfectly reasonable request to Chester the molester.

I feel for this girl,kind of, because I know what it's like to be young and broke. But there has just got to be another way. Seriously! She didn't have one non-crazy friend to talk her out of placing said ad or uh wording it differently. It also puzzles me that she makes a point of saying she's just out of cosmetology school yet doesn't talk about hairstyling/cutting or perhaps doing makeup for a special event. I would think that would be the first thing she'd want to to do. But i'm guessing that she was high when she placed this ad... so common sense probably flew out the window.

*sigh* I have little hope for our future.

Quick Update - It would be longer if I wasn't so lazy.

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 15:20:00 +0000

*tap* *tap* Is this thing on? Anyone out there? I wouldn't blame you if you weren't there. Who wants to continue to keep a blog on their reader that posts once a month at best.

Yeah, I hear ya but cut me some slack ok? I've told you I can't multi task for shit so it's all I can do to manage everything else in my life.

*Ahem*

So here's what I've been up to for anyone who cares (and it's in bullet points for your viewing pleasure)

Turned in to June Cleaver, well, minus the immaculate house and dinner waiting on the table. But I AM now an official PTA mom coordinating not one but two events for our school. Scary right? And get this I've been so "on it" the PTA President asked me if I wanted to join the board next year. I declined. I figured I'd only subject them to a little of my brand of crazy.

Working out like a fiend at boot camp. I know, I know. Or maybe I don't know what's come over me. Especially when I voluntarily get up at 7 a.m. to make an 8:30 stair climbing training event. And it was like 1500 stairs y'all. My calves hated me yesterday and today I'm pretty sure they've downright given me the finger.

Celebrated TomGirl, my oldest stepdaughter's, 18th birthday Sunday. Her first act as an adult ? Piercing her tongue. Oh to be 18 and dumb! Ok, I'm totally kidding. I'm pretty sure I wanted to do the exact same thing at that age. I'm tempted to call her and ask her seven hundred questions which forces her to talk and thereby providing comic relief for me. Because ? Have you ever heard someone with a swollen tongue talk?

Planning a trip to Cali for the Mr's family reunion and trying to figure out if we can squeeze a trip to Disneyland in while we're there. So if y'all have any tips or tricks about how to do Disneyland on the cheap please let me know.

Working , Working, working...waiting to win the lottery so I no longer have to end these update posts with "working,working,working"

Love you.Wantyou.Miss You.

The end.

* Ps - Mars Needs Moms Giveaway on my review blog if you're so inclined and a fitness one coming up later this week. Booyah!

Why Gawd, Why ? (Alternate title could I be any more dramatic)

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 18:42:00 +0000

As I get older, one thing is becoming abundantly clear:I can't multi-task for shit. And this, my friends, makes me sad. I wasn't always this way. I used to pride myself on my ability to do multiple things at once. It was the stock phrase I told all my potential employers.

"Yes, potential employer, I can create that 3 hour presentation while filing,taking phone calls AND eating lunch...I just want to please you"

I've said it tons of times.

But if I said it today,well, I just be flat out lying.

I used to be all, "Ooh Twitter! Why yes I can join in on 35 conversations, socialize with my friends and blog during my work day. No problem!
(note that my definition of multi-tasking is being able to work while simultaneously being crowned princess of every social media site on the internetz) I am superfrickin woman!

Then as I missed deadlines and made a mistake or two (or fourteen) reality came crashing down.

I, StaceyBecauseIMustBlog, can no longer keep up with every.little thing. And OMG that's making me crazy because *hugedeepsigh* I'm realizing I have to be all serious-like.

I blame aging and oh dear gawd could I be getting more responsible ? I think I actually want to put out a good work product reflective of the workplace badass I once was before the interwebs grabbed hold of my soul.

Sometimes, this getting old things really sucks. Soon my wine bottle will be replaced with geritol tonic and my dancing shoes will be replaced with orthopedic shoes and I'll start using phrases like "In my day..."

*abiggerhugerdeepersigh*

Pray for me y'all.

Facebookers, I need your help! - Updated!

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:48:00 +0000

*********As I said on Facebook, "I winned, I winned! (blah blah blah) I freaking love you people!"

Thanks for your support!
*****************
Hey y'all this will be short but sweet. And maybe not so pretty. Unless, you get enjoyment out of seeing people beg then I guess it will be kind of pretty. But anyway...

Picture me on my knees, hands folded , with a pleading look:

Are you on FB? Please email me at im(dot)a (dot)twinz (dot) mommy (at)gmail (dot) com (and yes I know that's a long email. thank you).

I'm trying to win a contest. It's not just any contest though- it's helping me to achieve some fitness goals and rid my self of my jiggly booty forever! Remember when I told you I'd gone crazy and joined fitness boot camp. Well I'm still crazy and still at it AND now my Fit camp is holding a contest on FB where the person with the most "likes" on their weight loss story/bio wins $250 and a week of free fit camp. There are only four of us competing and I'm getting all kinds of competitive.

So help a sista out will ya? All you have to do is like their page and then like my post and guess what, there is a full body picture of me there *sigh*. So if you're ready to throw up your breakfast and see what I look like, email me and I'll give you the deets. I'd post them here but after all this is the internetz and frankly I don't know who's looking and who's not.

And what else is this space for if I can't beg my friends and readers for their help right ?

Thanks y'all

Happy MLK day and XOXO

and finally

Cheers to me getting a smaller ass!

Dear 2011, I want to be your BFF

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 21:04:00 +0000

Happy New Year y'all! What? I'm only 6 days late. For someone who has trouble being on time to anything you should applaud not criticize.

2010 ended decently I suppose, if you don't count attending a gerbil funeral on Chrismas Eve or the muscle strain that was so intense it sent me to urgent care. But I'm still alive and swangin'. So there's that.

I've already had a talk with 2011 and asked her to take it easy. I've told her I expect nothing but good health and good fortune. I also told her to toss me a couple of winning lottery numbers but the jury is still out on that one.

I'm kinda excited about the new year. It will hopefully, ideally (pretty please) be as good as I make it. Yeah that was a little Rah! Rah! Rah! but I'm choosing to take the stance that I can control a good degree of what happens to me.

We shall see...

My plans ? The 3 Fs. Family,Friends, Fun. I thought about adding a fourth F in there but as much as I wanted "Forget work. It's utter bullshit" to be part of my mantra I can't really (Unless *ahem*2011 you give me those lottery numbers like I asked, ohhkahyy? Also, that doesn't quite flow, now does it?)

This year promises to be busy, beginning with a visit from my lovely twin sister next week then leading in to school events, kids stuff, the husbands 40th (which, fuck I have to top last year's gift) blogger events, trips,more visits from family,parties, slimming down, fame! fortune! and glory!

Ok maybe some of that won't really happen.

But it sure as hell would rock hard if it did.

Cheers y'all.

Happy Birthday to me...a little late

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:57:00 +0000

I remembered this weekend that I forgot to post about my upcoming birthday. Being the attention whore that I am I'm typically right on it - even posting weeks before to ensure I get a little extra birthday love.

But this year that changed. The hubby took me out for a fantastic dinner and then for some booty shakin and a little gambling but prior to that I wasn't all spastically making plans and shouting from rooftops "GET ME, BUY ME...I REALLY NEED. I WANNA GO HERE, WE GOTTA HAVE A BIG PARTY ..."

In fact on my actual birthday I spent much of the day ~~recovering~~ relaxing and twas a beautiful thing.

Could it be, that I'm just getting old ?

Lawd help me say it ain't so.

Anyhoo, happy birthday to me one day late. I'm officially 38.

This was bound to happen...

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:50:00 +0000

It was but a matter of time before I dove head first off the deep end. I knew it, you knew it - lets not even pretend we didn't.

I tried to resist but then I just snapped and now sane to me is getting up three days a week at 4:40 a.m. and going to fitness boot camp.
From 5:30a.m. to 6:30a.m. on these days I drag my jiggly (but soon to be quarter-bouncable) ass out of bed, throw on my yoga pants - which have become one of my new favorite items in my wardrobe - and go work out. Hard. Inorite? In a world of peep toe heels and slouchy boots I'm getting all giddy about my yoga pants and Asics tenees *sigh*. Then after an hour of being pushed to my max and sweating like a whore in church I head to work. (Truthfully, while I feel great once I'm done that is the only part of this adventure in which I actually feel great)

As if that wasn't enough, I thought it would be completely mentally sound to volunteer to chair the annual Dad's spaghetti dinner for 500 little elementary school children and their parents. Yeehaw! (And yes I know I'm not a Dad. Thanks smartasses) This is of course in addition to working and mom-ing and trying to have some semblance of me time.

I'm not sure what's come over me. I'm considering going to a doctor because this has got to be a sickness of some sort.

I mean I couldn't actually be getting it together and becoming like an overacheiver.

Bwahaahaha!!

I know I couldn't keep a straight face when saying that and I'm damn sure you laughed when reading it.

Me overacheiving? This is clearly just a momentary lapse. Surely,I'll be back to my wine guzzling,couch-loving,fried-food eating,trash-tv watching self in no time

Another cruise ship claims a victim (no,not that kind)

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:41:00 +0000

Fanflabbertyjabbintastic, I say. Fanflabbertyjabbintastic !

From the instant my freshly polished toes stepped on the ground in Miami I knew I'd have a great time. The flight was longer than War and Peace and I don't fly well now that I'm of an advanced age but I was too excited to let that get me down. Hell, I'd just left 50 something degree weather for 80 something weather. That alone would have made my week. But it got better. Much better.

Simply entering the ship was wild. The NCL (Norwegian Cruise Lines) folks were dancing and carrying on as they welcomed us onboard. Cheesy yes, but we were headed to the Bahamas. I kinda wanted to do a bit of a jig myself.

Once on the boat we were told we could go grab lunch or drinks and hang out on deck (or any of the public areas) while our staterooms were being prepared. I'm sure you can guess what we did.

The deck quickly turned into one big old party (pic taken before said party because hey how could I enjoy the party if I was busy snapping pictures, gah!)

Bands were playing, people were sunbathing, dancing, swimming, getting nekkid. Wait, what? Anyway, you get the gist, the first day was one big old partay. It was also where I obtained the coveted fun meter:

I obtained this from some drunk self-proclaimed barflys that were already 3 sheets to the wind when we arrived.

Watching the ship set sail was surreal. I can't tell you how long I've actually wanted to take a cruise and at that moment when it was finally happening I ~~shed a tear~~ knocked back several shots to celebrate. (Ok none of that sentence was true but I did get all giddy like a kid the morning of Christmas.)

The day turned in to a long night where we met a younger couple we completely fell in love with and had an impromptu party on the deck after hours. The piece de resistance of said party was 85 year old Elaine who I was convinced was at any time going to pull the whole Scooby Doo ending thing and pull off her mask to reveal a 21 year old woman. That broad danced her ass off asking me many a time "C'mon girl, how low can you go?" as she was getting down low herself. When we finally,at 2:30 a.m. decided we'd partied enough, she said "Wait don't go, lets party some more , lets tell some jokes or stories or something". Man I loved her.

The next day we docked in Grand Bahama Island where we found everyone to be so laid back we almost called my mom and asked her to ship the kids to us because we'd decided to sell it all and take up residence on the island. We fantasized about chillin and proudly saying "I ain't got no job" as we watched our half nekkid babies run around and play in the sun. Aah..

Wait where was I...Oh yes: Grand Bahama Island. There we chilled with two multi talented dolpins who showed us how to moonwalk, spit water at us, jumped,frolicked and requested belly rubs. I was half tempted to pack one of those suckers in my suitcase they were so cute.

The remaining time was filled with comedy shows, dancing, parties, drinks, R rated game shows (in which my husband had to dirty dance with another dude on our team and dammit why didn't I have my video camera ready), sunning, shopping and exploring in Nassau, casino'ing,hot tubbing eating, eating and more eating.

I'm pretty sure I ate twice my weight in food. But good lord it was "free" (included in cruise price) and always around. And I...I have no self discipline.

So there you have it. Everyone we encountered was so nice I wanted to put them all in my pocket and bring them home with me - cruise staff and passengers alike.

My one complaint is not really even a complaint about the ship so much as it is a complaint about our complete and total disregard for the money we were spending on extras (read alcohol and anything other than water). Our room key doubled as our payment for those extras and even though we were given receipts each time we signed for something we paid little attention. Aannd eleventy bajillion dollars later...I'm happy, a little chubbier and excitedly planning another cruise for 2012.

And y'all this ship is Epic. (um that will be funnier to you when you click the link.)

I declare myself officially obsessed.

I'm on a Boat (well... almost)

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 23:32:00 +0000

For those of you that don't get that reference see (and note that I uploaded the "clean" version because I'm thoughtful like that):

In just a few days, I will get to take full advantage of that awesome suprise I bestowed upon my husband a few months back.

I am positively, absolutely, ridiculously 100% excited to the point where it's been hard to focus on much else.

My life, of late has been work and second grade math and I don't know which is worse. There's this whole strategy of ten thing that the twins are learning that is giving me nightmares. Oh and my mouth, or teeth rather are being assholes. Which translated means that at the ripe old age of 37 I've been told "looking in to braces would be a good idea". But no I don't want to talk about it.

Because in a matter of days I'll be on a boat, kissing dolphins , 10th anniversary'ing with the Mr. and knocking back several cocktails.

And at this point not a whole hell of a lot else matters.

*and while you wait for me to get back and regale you with my tales of awesome head on over to my review blog to check my latest giveaway(6 winners y'all). Mini chickenburgers mmm...

Public Bathroom PSA. You're welcome

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 20:16:00 +0000

I'm a little frustrated. It seems that every time I walk in to the bathroom at-the-place-that-shall-not-be-named-but-I'm-there-Monday-through-Friday, I encounter behavior that leaves something to be desired.

Since I can't put out a memo, or post rules in the bathroom itself I feel compelled to write this down somewhere in hopes that those filthy buggers might see fit to change their ways.

So in no particular order:

Don't moan. I mean really I get that sometimes business is a little tough to do. But hearing someone one moan (or groan) creeps me out. I feel like shouting "Dude, it's called fiber!"

If you funk up the bathroom and air freshener is anywhere in the vicinity : USE IT. Maybe you can run away from your smell but the next person that walks in to said bathroom I'm sure would much rather be greeted by the scent of garden rain rather than assaulted by the odor of ass

Remove your pubes from the toilet seat. There is nothing worse than going into a stall and finding that little surprise.

FLUSH THE TERLIT - need I say more. I don't want to know that you need to drink more water or had corn for dinner last night (I know I even grossed myself out on that one)

and last but certainly not least

Wash your damn hands. If I even catch you leaving the bathroom without washing your hands I will stop you, ask you for your phone number and call your mother because clearly you lack home training (and yeah I went there)

Y'all got anything to add ?

Someone is laughing their a** off right now

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 01:47:00 +0000

First, please sit down. Oh and you better put your drink down too because what I have to tell you will surely send you in to a fit of laughter and we wouldn't want that Diet Coke/wine/beer coming out of your nose. Trust me it doesn't feel all that good.

Now then, just moments ago I found that someone (I have no clue who) nominated this blog for Best Parenting Blog on the 2010 Best of Western Washington deali-o. (I'm not even linking to it because I honestly think this really is someone's idea of a joke)

If you're here from there, welcome and feel free to stay awhile (note that I'm attempting to soften my use of expletives just for you) but I say that with this caveat:

This isn't really a parenting blog.

Yes, I am a parent and sometimes I write about my children but this is not that blog. If you're looking for cute and fuzzy stories about what my children did yesterday you won't find (much of) that here. This is more of a crazed rambling humor blog with a side of parenting.

For those of you who already knew that - let's just let this sink in and laugh our a**es off. Together.

P.S. Because I'm not a completely ungrateful hag: To that person who nominated me I say "thanks I think". I "blush" in your general direction.

Drag Queens, broken phones and barf oh my

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:40:00 +0000

I don't even know where to begin. I suppose I should start when the night was still good- at a time when I was at dinner with friends enjoying a nice glass of wine preparing to head to a club to meet up with even more friends(one of whom was in town just for the weekend and I was eager to hang with her).

At some point the bride to be, oh wait did I mention this was a bachelorette party ? It was and I suppose that gives you some clue as to how the night ended because those things never seem to end without somebody waking up wondering what the fuck they did the night before and where their pants are.

Anyway, where was I... yes. The bride-to-be imbibed so many tehkillya shots she barfed up things I'd never seen come out of a human.

But let me back up, there was the moment when I broke my phone. That was awesome. I didn't do anything spectacularly klutzy, I merely dropped it on the ground and it was dead. The screen went white and in an instant I lost all my pictures, all my numbers, er'thing. I was not happy. In fact, I'm still not happy. I've since found an activated an old phone but I'm pretty sure it was from the first run of cell phones and it's a dinosaur. It's gets me fired up thinking about it now. Because that little mishap was responsible for me missing the friend who'd come in to town. I kept missing her texts and me calling from a friend's phone... well that was just disatrous. Suckass doesn't even begin to describe how I felt about missing her.

The night wasn't completely without fun though. I hadn't been to a drag show in some time and I'd forgotten how much I enjoy them. And this one? Was like none other because one of the drag queens mimicked giving birth on stage - like with a real doll coming out of her nether regions - while lip syncing to a song called Baby Mama. And no, I'm not making this up.

How did all this madness end? My feet in severe pain because my super cute Charlotte Russe wedges are the kind of shoes that were designed to be cute and nothing else and holding back the bride's hair while she barfed at our feet.

I know.

You wish you were there don't you?

The one where I pull off the surprise of the year and pat myself on the back until it makes you sick

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:01:00 +0000

A while back, I posted that I needed to figure out whatever the hell I'm going to do as far as a fitness regime because later this year I will be doing something where I have to wear a swimsuit.

At that point, I didn't reveal why I'd need to wear a swimsuit so much but y'all are sharp. I'm sure you figured out that I'd be going on some kind of vacay. And if you didn't ~~duh~~ well that's what's up.

In just 1.5 months I will be taking my VERY FIRST CRUISE. I'm one big ball of excitement because OMGSQUEEE I'm going to the Bahamas, betches!

But here's why I couldn't say anything about this before. I, master of all that is awesome, planned this cruise months in advance and surprised my husband with it on his birthday last week.

I know, I know you want to marry me don't you ?

Hell, I'd want to marry me too if I weren't already... um nevermind.

So I'd been planning this cruise since about the beginning of the year and timed it so that we'd be chillin in the Bahamas, sipping cocktails on our 10th anniversary -all without the hubby knowing because I'm brilliant like that.

But I hadn't a clue as to how to present it to him.

I knew I wouldn't actually have the cruise documents in hand in time for his birthday so I came up with the idea to print out a copy of our confirmed reservation from the cruise site. To that I attached a picture of a cruise ship sailing amidst palm trees and wrote "Since I couldn't get you your own personal boat, this will have to do" (did I mention that hubby's trying to convince me we need a boat and that I'm kinda opposed. I didn't ? Well there isn't time for that now)

I flipped that document face side down and put it in the bottom of a gift bag so it appeared as if it were part of the bag itself. On top of that I placed individually wrapped sunscreen and a pair of sunglasses. I presented the gift during our dinner out and it worked just as I thought it would.

He liked the sunglasses,but the sunscreen kinda produced a WTFoopsimeanImgrateful look. I said nothing. For a few seconds I pretended that was it. Then I told him there might be something else in the bag. He felt around, finally pulled out the paper, looked at it and gave me the same WTFoopsImean... look. It turns out he thought I gave him a picture of a boat just to be mean (I may have the occasional mean streak but I'm not a complete beast - especially on birthdays).

"READ IT!" I exclaimed.

And then I saw his eyes light up and his confused look turn to a big goofy grin. "No way, No way, No way" he kept saying.

And I knew I'd pulled off the ultimate surprise.

Did I mention that I'm awesome ?

But how the hell I'll top this next year, which just happens to be his 40th birthday I don't know.

San Diego, it was brief but me love you long time

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:37:00 +0000

I'd ask if you've wondered where I've been. But I know better. I post erratically at best and that's not because I'm out of town, it's mostly because I just plain don't feel like it.
Having said that, I was out of town this past week at a work related conference in sunny (and I use that term lightly because up until the last day it was not even close to being sunny) San Diego.

I'd planned to bring the fam and do the whole Legoland, Seaworld thing but trying to plan me arriving one day and the Mr and the kids arriving another and switching hotels and blah blah blah just made me feel all barfy inside so I went by myself and for the most part enjoyed the heck out of SD. And plan to go back when it's more pleasure and less business.

Since this was a business trip I didn't pay for my flight or my hotel and that's probably why I was able to stay in this place (and please forgive me for all I brought with me for photographic mementos was my weeny ass 1.3 mp camera phone)

This would be the lobby of the US Grant

The hotel at night all lit up and purty like

Fancy right? I know. I felt as if I had to put on an evening gown just to walk through there. And lets not even talk about going down to the fitness room. I half considered purchasing some designer sportswear for the occasion. But then spending loads of cash on clothes I'm going to sweat and stink up shortly after purchasing didn't quite make the most sense. So I shamed the hotel by appearing in my old Tar-zhay shorts and jog bra.

The ceiling just above the entrance to the fitness room

Even the stairs are extravagant. This is the stairwell I had to walk up all sweatified and stanky because I didn't dare take the elevator after working out

So are you getting that this hotel was all kinds of fan-say ?

mah room

My first day was glorious. As you can see I quickly made myself comfortable in my room. I hadn't given nary a thought about the fact that upon check in I gave them my debit card for "incidentals".

Until the next day when I went online in the lobby (because in room wi-fi= 11.95/day but in lobby wifi = free. Umm ok.) to pay a bill. Upon reviewing my checking account I realized they'd seized $400. I don't know about y'all but that's a lot of moolah to me. Like San Diego souvenir and clothes shopping moolah. So I did what any normal person would do and ~~went all postal up in that bitch~~ approached the front desk telling them that all charges were to be charged to the corporate card that the room was reserved on.
To make a long story short, before changing the charges my boss had to speak with them and even then they held my cash until I checked out three days later (but told me they reversed it that day). Bastages! And yes I'll admit to the stupidity of giving them my card in the first place but I'm not familar with them thar luxury hotels and didn't realize that "incidentals" were 4mutherfuckinhundreddollars.

But here. See for yourself. This is the cost of "incidentals" at the US Grant.

$8 for some mutherlovin M&Ms. I will never. I repeat NEVER want M&Ms that bad

And OHGODTHESESINKS.

Trendy but NOT functional. Especially for the vertically challenged like me. We have to stand on our tip toes just to wash our faces and then this happens

Water.everywhere. *sigh*

Also, the hotel could be haunted. One night, I got in the elevator but couldn't immediately find my keycard which I needed to get to my floor. As I searched around for it, the elevator started moving and stopped on floor 3. My floor. I figured someone had called it, but when the doors opened not a soul was in sight (cue Twilight zone theme). Of course then I wondered if they had cameras in the elevator that recognized me and sent me to my floor which then made me concerned about whether or not I'd been talking to myself or pulling out wedgies when I'd ridden in there before that night.

The conference... was a conference. It had some good points: Al Gore and Ted Kennedy Jr. were keynote speakers. And some not so good points: the Tuesday night entertainment was Hall & Oates. Who frankly I dig, but something about watching the stage being rushed by my colleagues for the aging H&O made me feel...well... stabtacular.

But being in the Gaslamp Quarter made up for all that. It's a nice little slice of awesome. Some great little shops and fantastic food. Particularly this place.

And I kinda loved these signs Which if you can't read said panhandling promotes alcohol and drug abuse consider giving to charity...or something to that effect. Kinda makes you say "hmm...".

And random, but did I mention my hotel was right across the street from here?

I kept hoping I'd run into someone famous. Upon telling hubby that, he asked, What famous person hangs out at NBC? And of course I then questioned what famous person does hang out at NBC and felt rather silly. But whatevs.

It was fun.

Now I'm back. And it's like I never left.

I miss you SD. Call me.

***********

P.S. Jiffy Lube Gift card giveaway on my review blog Go. Now.

No more Pencils , No more books...

noreply@blogger.com (Stacey) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:26:00 +0000

School ended for my kids last Friday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jumping for nine different kinds of joy.

First I shall say the requisite (and true): my kids attend a great school with excellent teachers, are really blossoming as learners and I intend to encourage that in any way I can.

*Ahem*

Now that that's out of the way.Let me say it to you all, because we're that kind of honest with each other, right?

Homework sucks!

I thought I'd been freed of nightly homework many moons ago.

Not.So. Every night from September to June, I'd sit alongside of my kids and pour through pages of homework while secretly wanting to rip my hair out (ok, so maybe some of it was mildly fun. But only when I wasn't dog tired from work which is never. And the geometry for 1st graders = sheer torture)

Many a day I prayed for the secret homework fairy (I think she's part of the calgon take me away family) to come and take over. She never did.

But now, I have 2 months of peace and while this summer won't be completely academic free it is homework free and for that I am in hog heaven.

School's out for summer, bitches!

What isn't funnier than an Alice Cooper /Muppet performance?