It is what it is!

Goodbye to Sandra Dee

2012-10-31T12:40:00.002-07:00

As anyone with a beating heart knows, Hurricane Sandy has just wreaked havoc on the East Coast. It has been a long, stressful week. We all listened to the predictions and endless requests from the media and government to be prepared. Speaking on behalf of many, we were unsure as to whether this was an opportunity to boost ratings or a plea for our safety. I choose to believe the latter.

The storm was due to hit on Monday late in the evening but the forecast called for rain late Sunday and into Monday. On Sunday, I went to Shenandoah National Park for the day in Virginia. I wanted to take the opportunity to enjoy the leaves in all their glory before the chance passed me by.

When we entered the park, we were told that at mile 17, it would get foggy and asked if we still wanted to proceed up the mountain. We had just driven for over 3 hours to do just that so naturally the answer was yes. It was cloudy but the views as we drove up the mountain were nothing short of amazing.

At mile 21, the fog rolled in. It looked like we were in Heaven. However, since we didn't want to actually end up in Heaven, and the road was quickly disappearing before our eyes, we decided to turn around. We knew the storm was coming and wanted to make it home while we knew we had enough time. One the way home, we stopped at Luray Caverns. I am not a fan of being " underground" but it was worth it to see the incredible formations created by nature..

On our way home, we stopped at a gas station ( and of course a Waffle House). A lady in the gas station mentioned that the electric company called and told her to be prepared to be out of power for 7-10 days. It was at this point, that I was glad to have taken the proper precautions (with the help of others). Getting closer to home on the PA turnpike, we saw a caravan of emergency rescue ambulances. There was about 10-12 of them with their lights flashing. I looked at the license plates to see where they were coming from , knowing that they were coming to help us with the approaching hurricane. While I couldn't see a few of the plates, because it had started to rain and was dark, I did see several of them. Each one was from a different state. No two plates were the same. How they ended up in a caravan is beyond me but it was touching to see.

Sandy came in much faster than anticipated. The night sky lit up in colors of orange and green as transformers blew from every angle. The wind howled like a pack of thousands of wolves in search of a full moon. It was frightening and fascinating. Luckily, my house was unscathed. I lost my shed and a few roof shingles, which in light of others misfortune is nothing. Most of the area was (and still is) without power and most businesses are still closed. Driving around I have seen trees ripped at the roots resting on homes or in the streets.

The Jersey Shore (as well as New York) that many of us call a second home has been destroyed. The pictures are devastating and my heart goes out to each and every one who has been affected by this. There are thousands of Emergency Personnel and Military out there assisting in the recovery. For this, we are beyond grateful. Hug your loved ones. When all is said and done, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Don't take it for granted.

Mexico, Miller and Maggots

2012-05-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile but it's time to wrap up the month of May. May started in beautiful Riviera Maya. Great trip, gorgeous resort, lots of cheese, drinks, good company and a hammock (that I tripped over and got stuck in) on the balcony. They treat you like royalty. It's amazing. Although at one point, I felt like they were being too nice. Is that weird? They just treated you so well and were there at every turn to see if you needed anything (mostly drinks:) I would be a terrible rich person. Well, no I wouldn't because I can do things for myself, I don't need to be catered too. I would like to have someone bring me drink though. I tried counting how many times I said Hola but that didn't work out so hot because I forgot half the time what my count was. I said it alot. Can't wait to say it again.

Let's see what else happened. I flushed my new Droid down the automatic toilet at work and had to overcome my fear of the devil (aka rice). Rice is no longer my enemy, because after a day and a half of leaving my phone in a bag of rice, it as good as new. So there IS a purpose for rice. I will never eat it but I do love it!

Speaking of rice, I had a disgusting encounter with maggots. I went to put the trash out and picked up one of the bags and there were maggots in the can. I ,VERY calmly , went over to my sister to tell her. Let's go back a bit, I hate rice because the texture is gross and it reminds me of maggots and maggots are just disgusting. It's a weird fear I have had forever. I am a very clean person, and take good care of my house and property so to see this freaked me out. My sister (bless her little sloppy soul) did clean out the can and do all the dirty work because I was too busy trying to maintain my composure (from very far away). I have no idea how they got there. The bag of trash was only out there for a day. It did rain.. I have no idea if maggots,rain and trash go together . There was however, a trash bag that had empty Miller Lite cans in there. I have NO idea where it came from, I do not drink Miller Lite so I didn't put it there but it was there. Maybe maggots like beer? Anyway, I wish this trauma on NO ONE. It digusted me, we both took a shower after and I felt like I had maggots crawling on me for two days. Poor everyone around me because if you thought I was anal before, that was nothing. It won't be pretty. There will NEVER be another maggot anywhere to be seen. EVER. That is just gross and dirty and I don't want to talk about that anymore.

So that's about all that was either exciting or tramatizing this month. I only burned myself ONCE in the kitchen. Progress, people, progress. May was a month of Mexico, Miller Lite and maggots.

I didn't think I was crazy until I wrote this.

2012-04-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

I am leaving for Mexico in 13 days. I am not prepared. I need to pull out the summer clothes and see what fits. Everything SHOULD fit but we will see. I need to buy a few things. I need to figure out what the guidelines are for planes now. I think any liquids over 3 ozs. can be checked with luggage ( I know it has to be 3 ozs. or less for a carry on... I think??). I'll just be safe and put it in my checked bags because then I don't have to worry about it.

I have read things before about the random checks at the airport. I have a fear of being the one they decide to strip down in front of the whole airport to my skivvies. I know they don't do that but it's quite possible that it could be the new rule that starts the morning my flight leaves because that's the way things work for me. Good thing I bought new underwear. .

I also am worried about the plane. I am claustrophobic (always have been). When I was little, I went to go see Michael Jackson and JFK. It was an outside concert and I was with a few family members. A thunderstorm started while we were waiting in line and they shoved (what felt like) 5 billion people in inside area. We were shoved like sardines . I was about 10. I puked. Gross BUT it did clear the way so I could breathe. They brought me a Stroehman's empty bread bag to breath into. I puked again. Never give 10 years old who is puking a bag that smells like stale bread to breath into. The concert was cancelled and on the way to the parking lot, I heard them say that they weren't bringing me back. I was very sad :(. I also get car sick. Never used to but if I am in the back seat of a car, I am nauseous. A few weeks ago, I was in the back seat and I was sweating and my stomach was all over the place. I felt like I did 6 shots of tequila. I didn't.

Anyway, I haven't flown in about 5 years. Every time I do fly, I get a little antsy about it. Being claustrophobic and stuck in the air in a plane will do that. Window seats always made me feel like I can breathe better. However , I seemed to have developed a fear of heights in my older age. I will still GET on rides but I about shit my pants right before. I don't like that. I don't want to give into it and not go on rides anymore so I still do.. This all sounds much worse than it is. I am not a freak. Well, I may tell a different story once I am back from Mexico or if you see me on the news as the woman who was on a flight to Mexico screaming and rocking the corner and end up stuck in Mexico forever because I am banned from flying on any airline ever again. In which case, you are welcome to come visit me in my "facility" here that accommodates car sick, claustrophobic, acrophobic folks.

I think I will go call the doctor. I see Xanax in my future.

Ole!

2012-03-19T16:58:00.001-07:00

In six weeks, I am going to Mexico. I don't really think that I realize that I am going. I did get my passport in the mail last week. The government has a GREAT website that let's you track the progress of your passport application so that you know it's progress. I checked on it about 4 times. The last time I checked, it said it was being " processed". I came home an hour later and it was in my mailbox. Therefore I have concluded, that if you need a passport, you can drop your application in my mailbox because that's where it is processed. Include a check made payable to me.

Anyway, a discussion was had about visiting Chichen Itza. I got all excited thinking it was a Mexican chicken retreat. Chickens who lay beans maybe? No, it's apparently one of the new Wonders of the World. Even better. It looks like an awesome place to see. I am excited to check it out.

Part of the plan may also be swimming with dolphins, which would be so cool. I want a dolphin. My plan is to bring it home, build a big ass pool and name it Suzy. She can be friends with my future hippo Molly.

I guess I should start preparing a little. I love going through my clothes to see what fits, what doesn't , what should, what shouldn't. it's very uplifting.......

Adios for now!

Bieber Fever? or just hungry????

2012-03-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I had a conversation about Justin Bieber, actually I had a few conversations about him. When he started out, I thought he seemed like a little punk. Over the last year or so I have seen what a good kid he really seems to be. If you ever turn the T.V I am sure you have heard about it the good things he does. He really loves his fans and knows that without them he is nothing. He's just a good kid. Well the good kid turned 18 now so it's ok for me to say that he is cutie. I couldn't decide if I was a perv or not for thinking he was cute. He has that " boyish" charm so I 'm not all like OMG he is so HOT. I just think he's cute. I heard on the radio the other day that he made a comment that he saw all the comments he got from " the cougars". I felt instantly better.

I also watched the news on the same day of my conversations about Justin. They were talking about a high school in New Jersey that is trying to raise the money to remain open ( I know there are several of those around here right now).

Last night I realized that I missed American Idol.. I never do that.. but I did. I also knew that Mary J.Blige was the mentor. I wanted to see that.

My dryer is not working properly and we went to the laundromat the other day to do a few loads to "tide" us over. Get it? " Tide"? anyway, it was a Sunday and there was no time to get it looked out and I was almost out of clean clothes. I had on a very comfy but very worn sweatshirt on. I had not yet showered. I made sure I wore a coat because the sweatshirt had holes in it and I looked like no one loved me.

I am also trying to be on a diet. It sucks. I was hungry last night when I went to bed. It was late. I really wanted cheese but I did not eat.

This will all make sense in a minute.

I have now already given you the reasons for the following dream I had last night:

I met Justin Beiber. He was drinking a soda and we were talking about T.V. halfway through the conversation, I realized that I had on my holey sweatshirt. But Justin didn't care, he just kept on talking and we decided that we were going to have dinner that night, just as friends (fan lover). Then he disappeared. I went to look for him and I walked outside to a big football field. There were thousands of people everywhere.

Jennifer Lopez was in the middle of the field singing with lights and all her dancers. Mary J. Blige and Justin were due to perform after (which is obviously why he was there in the first place). I was mad because I couldn't find him and I was hungry (diet).

I asked someone what was going on. They told me that they were all performing to help raise money to save two schools. That's all I remember.

So you can't tell me that dreams don't make sense. It was a stupid dream but it took alot of my thoughts and ran them all together.

I am guessing we never made it to dinner because I was very hungry when I woke up.

My thoughts today were mostly about being excited to lay in bed tonight since I air dried my sheets (along with several other loads of wash because the dryer isn't fixed yet). I ran around all day and didn't stop so I kept thinking about my fresh smelling sheets. I am guessing I may dream of being eaten alive by a gigantic sheet of fabric softener. Yes I need a life.

Your thoughts on the Bieb?

Honesty is NOT always the best policy

2012-02-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

Honesty is the best policy...so they say. It's true if it's necessary or done with good intentions. However, sometimes you need to just keep your big "fat" mouth shut and mind your business.

A friend of mine from work and I sometimes drive into work together. I pass his house on my way to work and sometimes pick him up on the way. There is a gas station right by work that we stop by frequently either because I need cigarettes or he needs whatever he may need. If he is the one running in , the man who works there talks his ear off, compliments him and smiles alot. We can't decide if he likes him or is just being friendly. It's cute (at least I think so.. well thought so). He talks to me sometimes but he is difficult to understand because he has a very heavy accent so I try to follow along and other times he seems to be half asleep ( it is about 6:45 a.m when we go there).

Anyway, I went in a few weeks ago and he asked me where I work. Now, many of us from there stop there in the morning because it's on the way and it's open early so many people know him and have discussed where we work. Alot of have also run into each other in there in the morning and he knows we all know each other. So I tell him where I work (which is 2 seconds away) and he looks at me like I just spoke to him in Russian. So I say " it's a weight loss company". So he looks at me and points and says " well you don't eat the food.". Really???? Really? It's 6:45 a.m, I haven't had my coffee yet and you so just called me fat. I know I need to lose 20 ( really 25) lbs BUT is it really necessary to do that? I know the look on my face surprised him. He looked at me like "what???" Then he tried to play it off by asking questions about the company. Dude, this fat girl needs to get to work so this conversation is over.

Now it used to be that if anyone ever said anything insulting I wouldn't want to tell anyone because it's embarrassing but now that I am older... it is what it is. I couldn't wait to get in the car and tell him what he just said. I get in the car and he asks me if I am trying to steal his man. I said No and told him what he just said to me. His response "What an asshole." Umm yea.

I don't judge people. They are what they are. Most people are NOT a perfect weight and while some may not say it out loud, people are very aware of their flaws. It's not my place to tell you what is wrong with you. Quite frankly, I don't even see it as there is something wrong with you. You are who you are. I can't stand people who think they are perfect .. or strive to be. Most of those are the most insecure anyway.

Point is.... the truth hurts however you still suck Mr. Gas Station man.

My Happy Dork News!!!

2012-02-06T15:54:00.000-08:00

I created my blog in 2009. I didn't really keep up with posting too often. I am still not as good about it as I want to be.

Some of my blogs are funny, some are SUPPOSED to be funny but aren't and some aren't supposed to be funny at all. I write whatever comes to mind when I open the blank page. My intention with this blog was (and still is) to make you laugh (or sometimes cry).

You have read about Stranger Cat, my clumsiness, my stupidity, my thoughts and my poop. Who doesn't love a good story about poop???

I wasn't too sure that people were reading when I started writing and it took me awhile to figure out how to even find that information out. Now that I have it all figured out, they seem to have changed it all around on me. But because not many people comment (at least not on the blog itself) I just figured I was talking to myself. That is not any different than normal because I do spend a lot of time talking to myself. I also talk to Tommy all the time and half the time he isn't even here. Don't ask.

I have been told, on several occasions, that you don't comment because you have to sign in. I PROMISE you that if you log in to comment , you will NOT die. Your head will NOT spin and you will NOT start to speak in demonic voices. If this does happen, take a video and I will gladly post it here for all to see!

During the last year, I have been more consistent (sometimes) with my posting. It's been over the past year that most of my blogs have been written. They have also apparently been read. Yesterday, I hit 10,000 views to my page. 10,000! May not sound like alot to those have a large following but for me, it's awesome. Why? Because I ROCK! and YOU ROCK TOO!

So comment, share my link , pass what you want along and help me keep this going! Thank you for reading and I promise to continue being stupid!!!!

WE ARE......

2012-01-22T17:36:00.000-08:00

Truth be told, I am not a fan of college football. However, hearing the news of Joe Paterno's death left me with a heavy heart. I am not alone. While some of us might not be "fans" of Penn State, we have learned things about "JoePa" that we otherwise would never have taken the time to learn.

He was fired after 46 years at Penn State. Everyone associated Penn State with Joe Paterno, even those of us who weren't necessarily "fans". There was no wrongdoing, he reported the incident immediately. As always, he did his job. He can not be held accountable for the negligence of those who didn't.

We have learned over the past few months who Joe Paterno really was. He was a father , a son, a husband, a coach and a legend. He is celebrated for his generous charitable contributions to academics at Penn State.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer just days after he was fired and died after a courageous fight from complications. I believe that a broken heart makes the struggle more difficult to conquer.

JoePa spent 46 years holding the love of millions in his heart. I have no doubt that the unfortunate events of the past few months will be a dim shadow over the light that he brought to so many lives.

Whether you went to Penn State, are a college football fan or have grown to learn the man behind the legend, always remember WE ARE PENN STATE!

Diary of a Bullied Kid

2012-01-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

November 2, 2005

Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you? I knelt at my bed tonight and prayed. I prayed that I don't wake up. I close my eyes thankful to be alone and scared for what tomorrow will bring.

November 2, 2006

When will it end? I don't sleep. I don't eat. I cry alone. I don't want anyone to see my pain. I have no friends. I am too embarrassed to tell. I don't understand what I ever did to make you hate me. There is nothing I can do. I get on the bus and sit in the front. I clutch my bookbag and count the minutes until the door opens so that I can get away before you can get to me. I spend my lunch at a table alone and wait for you. I don't have to wait long.

November 7, 2006

I make excuses. My bruises are from dodgeball. I left my books at school. The birthday party (that I was never really invited to) was canceled. Eventually, they will know the truth. I will leave a note. Soon I will close my eyes one last time.

November 15, 2006

A new student started at school today. His name is Josh. He saw me sitting alone at lunch . He asked me if he could eat with me. Finally, I have a friend.

November 21, 2006

Today I got pushed into the lockers. Josh stood up to him!!! And guess what? He backed off. All the kids were laughing at HIM!!!!

December 3, 2006

I got invited to a party tonight!! A real party!! It was the best night of my life.

December 15, 2006

With Josh's encouragement, I talked to my parents tonight. I told them what I have been going through for the past few years. I was so worried that I was going to disappoint them. But guess what? They cried. They said that if Joe even comes near me to tell someone right away. They said that they were sorry!! THEY were sorry! I told them that the past few weeks have been so great. They told me that I matter and I am not alone. I MATTER! They said that bullies are insecure and need to act that way to make them feel worth something. It's not about me. It's about them needing attention. I don't understand. I wish I hadn't waited so long to tell them. I am starting to feel sorry for Joe.

November 10, 2011

Today I was nominated Homecoming King! We now have an anti-bullying policy in school. Joe, (imagine that!) Josh and I lead the campaign. I have learned that everyone matters. There is always someone out there who cares whether they are in the master bedroom upstairs or show up at your lunch table. Find them. Speak up. Make a difference.

*share this link..you never know who you might help.

My review of The Bachelor :)

2012-01-10T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ok this one is for those of you watching The Bachelor. I have been watching the show for years. I don't know why because the track record of lasting relationships isn't so hot. Actually, I watch it because it's a train wreck. Looks like this season will be the most devastating wreck to date.

Let's talk about Ben... He's kinda cute. Someone (thank you , you know who you are) pointed out who he reminds them of. I hate to pick on him but it's so easy, a caveman can do it.

Sorry Ben. I will think you are cute again once I get that image out of my head. Maybe...

Let's talk about the girls.

Jenna: If she didn't go this week, we would know that it was a ratings thing. She is a blogger. I hope she doesn't see this BUT it is what it is! Um seriously? You were in the bathroom the first night sobbing like the world banned cheese. There is something wrong with you. I was trying to figure out if was an act to get people to read her blog or she is really nuts. Apparently, she is an overanalyzer. I guess that's what they call those who exhibit that type of behavior these days?? I am glad she is gone because as she said she is really like a guy and Ben isn't looking for a dude.

Blakely: Really? I get your approach. Be one of the first to stick your tongue down his throat so you get his attention. It worked. He gave you a rose because of the great "conversation" you had throughout the date. So apparently "conversation" is another word for " hard on". I wonder if you would have gotten a rose if Ben saw you sitting curled up in the corner all night before he gave it to you. Why were you following him all over the house? It was a little stalkerish. He is looking for a wife not a pet.

Courtney: You are a model. We get it . You are pretty (a little oily) but pretty. You need to get over yourself though . This will be hard because Ben kept saying how dumbfounded he was that you are single. Mind you , I am single but I am also not a model. You spend alot of time on camera talking about how you are better than everyone else. My guess is that is WHY you are still single. I hope you don't win. You get on my nerves and you need to go away. Maybe you can go visit Jenna. You may have different issues but I am guessing the same place could help you both.

Kacie B: As of now I want you to win. You guys are really cute together and you seem pretty normal. You had a great date. Don't do what the rest of them do and just sit back and wait for him to propose. Be a little proactive. Don't pull a Blakely but make yourself known. The baton was really cute but I hope you don't bring it out again. You made your point. This is the Bachelor not a marching band. One day at band camp..... (no offense marching band people).

As always, most of the other girls don't get too much camera time. This usually means either that one will pull ahead at the last minute or they are just boring and will be sent home.

This season is awkward, embarrassing and uncomfortable. I can't wait for next Monday!!!

Day 9- Blame it on the Rain

2011-12-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

Ok so today is actually day 11. A little depressing that I am almost halfway through but we won't talk about that. I am behind on my "days off "blogging but nothing too exciting happened. I cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. The only thing I haven't finished is the basement. I have half of it finished. So let's talk about that "other half". This whole story is Stranger Cat's fault because she broke my basement window. I blame it on the cat. I could blame in on the rain but I am sticking with the cat.

The basement is unfinished and gross. I got most of the hard part done. Excuse me.. I got most of the hard part "finished." ( My teacher, Ms. Faherty always said "Cookies are done , People are finished".) I have a refrigerator down there that I got from my wonderful aunt when she moved. I know that mine is going to break soon so it's nice to have a back up. Now if I didn't have a back up , my fridge would have broken two years ago. The metal shelf holder thing for the fridge is on the floor. I have moved it out of my way several times.

Two nights ago, the house felt cold. I went down the basement figuring that the plywood ( from Stranger Cat breaking my basement window) had fallen and the cold air was swiftly moving in. I was right (I need to get glue that adheres metal to wood so this no longer happens). So it's really dark down there and the light for the basement has to be turned on from the other end of the basement.

I walk down, in the dark (the light from the kitchen was on but I still couldn't see). I get to the bottom step and it is COLD . I stepped right into water. Flooded .. again. Since my cousin fixed the sump pump (thank you again) I haven't had too many issues so I wasn't expecting that but because of the amount of rain (and high winds that knocked that board out) it flooded. Not just a little flood, a big one. Two days later, the sump pump and my mom's borrowed pool pump are still pumping out the water (almost finished though). So I roll up my pants and turn on the light and wade my way over to the window (the window is on the uncleaned end along with the fridge). I still can't see too well but I see the metal shelf holder thingy and move it (again) out of my way. I put the wood back on the window and try to use tape to secure it. Ok done. Now I will make my way over to the sump pump to see if it's working. Not the end of the world.

As I start to walk, I step on the metal shelf thingy. Then I trip and fall. In my cement basement, in about 6 inches of water. It all happened really fast BUT what I do remember is that the metal shelf thingy was still in my foot , I was soaked and I crashed into the washer. I got up and cursed like a horny sailor and immediately took my clothes off. I hit my knee and it hurt. I tossed the metal thingy out of my way and limped (naked) up the stairs and got changed. My knee hurt for a few minutes then I forgot about it.

Knee bruise. Actually right under my knee bruise.

Then I realized that my back , my finger , my foot and my wrists all hurt. I looked at my foot and it was just throbbing. Usually a piece of metal will do that to you. So naturally, I did what any adult who fell and got a boo boo does. I texted my mommy to tell her I was about to die. She told me to soak my foot and I did. But it still hurt like hell. I also texted my sisters because they needed to know that their clumsy sister was in pain. My sister Kristi, who lives with me and was at work called me to tell me she was taking me to the hospital. Nope not going. By this point I was laying in bed sulking.

She did bring home some peroxide and gauze and I soaked my foot in that (she's nice sometimes). Then started to sleep. As I am about to drift away, I hear a loud bang. The plywood fell again. Really?? I was done. She went down and put it back up. My mom and both my sisters said I probably need a tetanus shot. They were right. So I did go to the doctor yesterday. My foot still hurt and was all puffy.

I must have caught myself with my finger because I jammed it. I still can't really use it too much. I have chubby fingers but my finger looks like I stole it from the Marshmallow Man. No one should have a finger that looks like that.

Ok so now you have seen some body parts. Don't you feel better? So I get up the next morning , go to my mom's and get her pool pump. I hurt, the basement looks like the Atlantic (lots of dirty water) and I am down there hooking up the pump and hose. Then I go to the doctor and they give me a tetanus shot and tell me I won't be able to lift my arm today. Well, that's just great. I was intending to do some chin ups today so I guess that's out of the question. She pokes all over my achy foot and finger , I say OW about 10 times and she says I need xrays. Now I figure nothing is broken because my bones are made of steel and I never break anything. But I don't have a choice. They give me my shot, I ask for a lollipop and they laugh. Um that's not funny. I want my lollipop. I don't get one. I go over and get the xrays and have about a half hour conversation with the checker inner lady about Christmas and how her grandson has issues with textures

(I can appreciate that , I am that way with food) and she buys him the same kind of jacket every year because it's soft and fluffy. She can't find one this year. So if anyone knows where you can buy the kind of fluffy, soft jacket that her 10 year old grandson likes, let me know. I will relay the info to Mrs. Checker Inner. I go home to rest because I ache and instead vaccuum and clean up because that's what resting means. They called this morning. Nothing is broken (I knew that.. remember me? Steel Bones??) This is what my xray looked like:

Yes, I carry the gun at the doctors. If they are going to give me a shot, they are getting one too.

So far the arm isn't too bad but I am waiting. They called this morning. Nothing is broken I just have muscle tear in my foot and my finger is jammed. I have tissue swelling blah blah blah and was told that those things will take longer to heal than if I had broken something. Merry Christmas to you too. If I had a video of that fall and the cursing episode that followed I would have my 15 minutes of fame on You Tube. But I don't.

Gotta go. The Price is Right is on. Have a Happy Friday!

Day 3

2011-12-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

Ok yesterday was drama free. I finished the kitchen. That only took me 2 1/2 days and the kitchen isn't even too big. I also got my bedroom done. I didn't have that on my "
list of things to do" but it needed to be done. So I did it, then wrote it on the list and crossed it off :) I got the paint out again and painted my bedroom and closet door ( and the hallway door) . I also did the door in the kitchen for the basement. I wiped walls, cleaned under the bed etc... My room is pretty clean but it just needed a "winter" cleaning.

I am almost finished... I have the basement left . I started weeks ago and then never finished. It's unfinished and gross and I don't go down there and really clean it but it needs to be de " linted". The dryer is down there and the wires needs to be cleaned off .. etc. Not a fun job but I will get it done.

The biggest drama yesterday was Tommy's gas. I don't know what he ate but we all suffered the consequences!!
Today , I am off to my grandmother's to put up her decorations!!! Fa la la la la

Day 2 of vacation: The Stranger Cat Saga continues

2011-12-01T06:08:00.000-08:00

Day 2 is complete. Yesterday I had a bit of A.D.D and found it difficult to focus. I got a call in the morning about a good sale (that was only running yesterday) on a gift for my nephew so I drove up to Toys R Us and got it . I came back and the Price is Right was starting so that was how I spent the next hour.

I did work on the kitchen. I cleaned out the inside of the refrigerator, I cleaned the oven (and inhaled the fumes of the Oven Cleaner spray , looked at the back and saw that it was really NOT a good thing, coughed and gasped for breath for about 5 minutes, drank some water and all was well). I cleaned the stove top. I took the burners off and the drip pans. I knew the drip pans weren't in good shape but pulling the last one out and having it crumble in my hands reconfirmed it.

The piece on the side of the oven that holds the handle to open the door is a little loose. Most times when you go to open the oven the handle comes off ( it's an older oven, just like the fridge) so I decided to crazy glue it. Sounded like a good idea until I crazy glued 3 of my fingers on one hand and 2 on the other together. It was a good 15 seconds before I got them apart. May not sound like a long time but you think that you are about to become a 7 fingered girl because you can't get them apart it's disturbing. I put the crazy glue away.

I cleaned out the last cabinet under the sink and I used Murphy's Oil on the outside of the cabinets. The kitchen is almost finished.

Then I went out shopping. I got another present (2 presents is wayyyy ahead of where I usually am with my Christmas shopping at this point). I got new drip pans as well.

We stopped on the way home and got sandwiches because at this point ( about 9 p.m) I realized that I was starving since I barely ate between early shopping, cleaning, pacing because I had A.D.D then shopping again. So I ate , watched T.V and went to bed. This is GREAT for my diet.

At about 2:20 a.m. I hear it. The sound of cats trying to murder each other. I opened my eyes and laid there for about 30 seconds before my sister comes in and says "Stranger Cat is back." I was really hoping that my two cats just got in a really bad argument about who got the "good" spot on the couch and were having a moment. So she asked if she should just close her door to the basement since she was down there. I said "No just let her back outside" knowing that the basement door shuts but it doesn't latch shut right so it can easily be pushed open ( yes my house has some issues).

Then I had some second thoughts because I knew it was probably a little cold outside. Now I know that this cat has a home and I know that her owner let's her out to roam around. When I find out who this person is, we are going to have a little talk. Anyway, I get up and go down the basement and see my sister with the window in her hand and glass all over the ground. The window sits funny down there ( more issues) and she managed to push it open to get in. In the process, the window hit the basement floor and broke. There is a big ass hole in the screen. She said that Stranger Cat must have jumped back out because she wasn't down there. She proceeds to go back to bed and now I have to figure out how to temporarily fix this, unassisted, at a stupid hour in the morning. I found duct tape but the duct tape was not cooperating and it was ripping of all uneven. After about 5 minutes of trying ,I gave up. I found different tape and started to ghetto rig the hole in the screen. As I am doing this, standing on a step stool, waiting for her to come back and try to get in, she jumps from behind me and goes right back out the window. She scared the hell out of me, because I thought she had already left and I almost fell off the stool. I call her a bitch. I finish taping the screen. I then put a big box against the window, just in case. Now I have a ghetto screen, no window ,a new project on my hands and a bad attitude. Stranger Cat has a new name " I am beginning to not like you Cat."

At 3:10 a.m I went back to bed. I woke up this morning at 7. I am tired, my back hurts and am not in the mood. So I decide to go to WaWa and get a low fat Vanilla Cappuccino. It will make my mouth happy and wake me up so I can get all this stuff done so that it's out of the way and I can enjoy the rest of my 25 days of vacation. I pull into WaWa. It looks a little crowded but I got a front spot. Sweet. I open the door and the amount of people in there had to far exceed the fire laws for maximum person limitations. They were everywhere. People who looked like me- sloppy and half awake, people dressed like they are going to a formal affair (you know the ones that get all dressed up from work because they think they look hot but look like the cover of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog) and about 500,000 construction worker dudes with their fluorescent smock things on. I had to fight to get a cup. It was stupid and I will not do that again.

So now I will start day 3 and try to get the kitchen finished BEFORE Price is Right even comes on. Next is my bedroom... We will see what the day brings.

Vacation is great..........

Day one of my 27 day Vacation....

2011-11-30T08:54:00.000-08:00

So I have racked a bunch of vacation time at work and if I don't use it by the end of the year, I lose it. I lost about 3 weeks last year and this year I decided that I wouldn't let that ever happen again! This is the slowest month of the year at my job so I took my days.

My vacation started yesterday and I am off through Christmas. I go back on the 26th. What am I going to do with my time you ask? I have no freakin idea. This week I am working on getting my house cleaned, including closets ,cabinets etc. I got started before my vacation started. I sanded and painted the window in the bathroom (which really need it because the geniouses who built the house put a window in the shower..they were rocket scientists.) The window sill gets all nasty so it's a constant battle to avoid issues.) I cleaned out the linen closet, I started on the unfinished basement (I am procrastinating finishing it because I hate down there), I cleaned the living room (very thoroughly) and I started cleaning out the kitchen cabinets.

So yesterday I decided I would work on the kitchen. I did start last week (as stated above) and cleaned out some of the cabinets so I figured maybe a couple hours ( I am very anal and it takes awhile to do it RIGHT) and I would move onto my bedroom.

Well, I got a late start because the Price is Right was on. Clean kitchen...watch Price is Right? Duh . Drew Carey won. But at 12:00 I did go into the kitchen. The windows are wood (and painted) and the sills and bits of the window paint were peeling, so I decided I would scrape, sand and paint.. So I did.. then I cleaned the windows, then I painted. Took much longer than I thought. I decided to paint the back door also. Then I moved on. I washed down the refrigerator. The fridge works great but it's old. It was here when I bought the house 8 years ago and was already there for awhile. There were brown spots ( some big , some small) almost like rust spots all over it. No matter how much or how often I clean it, they aren't going away. Then I came up with an idea. I had the paint out so I painted it ...( this is after I had already put all the magnets back up and placed then strategically to cover the brown spots). Looks MUCH better!!! Then I decided that I might as well put up some Christmas decorations ( for the kitchen) while I was at it. You get my point. I was in that kitchen from 12-7:30 and I am still not finished.. I will finish today...and hopefully start on my room.

That is once the Price is Right is over!!

A Stranger in the Night

2011-11-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

So I was house/dog sitting for my sister. I was laying in bed watching T.V. and kept hearing a noise that sounded like the faint sound of a car door. I knew it wasn't a car door but every time I heard it and hit mute on the T.V. it would stop. After about the10th time muting the T.V I heard it. It was coming from inside the room but I didn't know what it was. Being in a strange place, I got a little freaked BUT I got up and figured out what it was. It was just one of doors shaking a little from the wind. All was well and I went back to my show and eventually to sleep.

The dog sleeps on the bed and she is quite snuggly. However, the bed sits high. Too high for her to jump up on so you have to lift her on the bed. She can get down just fine. At 3:30 a.m I hear her jump off the bed and start to growl a little. Well not really a growl but not a bark either.. let's call it a grark. So she is grarking at me to get up. It's very dark and I am not too pleased but I know that if I had to pee (and was a dog) and no one let me out I would not be a happy dogger. So I get up. She takes off and runs downstairs. I follow.

I am now downstairs (still in the dark) in the hallway by the light switch that I haven't yet turned on. I look out the doors from the kitchen and I see someone standing on the back patio. I pee a little. I just stared for a minute thinking that I am going to die. My heart is beating out of my chest and I have no idea how to proceed. Do I run and hit the alarm button for the cops to come?? Where is the closest alarm ??? Do I go to the front door and run outside?? If I do, will they catch me?? Will the dog follow me or stay and grark? Wait she isn't grarking??? I can't leave the dog there. This is all in a matter of about 10 seconds as I am staring straight into the face of the dark killer outside,our only seperation a glass door.

So I duck into the powder room that was right next to me. I peek my head out again and he is gone. OH SHIT.. where did he go? I step back out into the hall and there he is AGAIN!!! OH SHIT!!!.. Oh wait.. that's my reflection in the glass. The killer was my shadow. Duh.

So I let the dog out to pee. I am relieved that I am the killer but ready to go back upstairs and cover myself with blankets ( because blankets will prevent an intruder from being able to find you) and try to get back to sleep. The dog seems to think it's time to stroll and play in the yard and won't come in. ( I should have put her on a leash so it was a quick pee but I was freaked out and had no intention of stepping out that door).

I had to go out because she wasn't coming in, it was now 3:40 and I can't start screaming her name . So very hesitantly, I go outside and whisper-yell her name. She looks at me and runs to the front of the house. I walk to the front of the house and whisper-yell her name again. She grarks and runs away. After circling the house several times she has had her fun and finally comes inside.

Upstairs, I pick her back up and put her on the bed , close my eyes and start to go back to sleep. Then I hear her grark and jump off the bed again. I know she doesn't have to go pee and I know that I am the killer but everything scares me now. She comes back to the bed and grarks for me to put her back on the bed. We do this twice more. She is now tired and goes right to sleep.

Me...not so much.

I couldn't make this up!!

2011-10-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

I was laying in bed yesterday morning at about 6:00 a.m trying to wake up to get ready for work. I was still half asleep when I heard the most ridiculous noise one should ever hear at 6 a.m. My two cats fighting. They play and sometimes they get a little too into it and they chase each other around the house like lunatics. That is what I heard BUT it was a very disturbing fighting that seemed to be going on. I heard them FLYING down the stairs and before I know it they both jumped on my bed scooted across my face and ran back out. Then I heard the picture frame on the end table in the living room fall over. Both my sister and I got up real quick (she was asleep on the couch) and were like WTF?? They took off and it all stopped. I got up, saw Tippy, told him to knock it off (or did I???). I took a shower and went to work (my sister did the same shortly thereafter.)

My cats are Tippy and Vinca. Vinca is tiny. She is all gray and she took off so fast I didn't see her.This is Tippy (Exhibit A)

So I come home from work (in the snow) and get stuck in the driveway. I had to get the shovel and clear the driveway to get in. It's October I find this annoying. Then my sister and I decide we are going to watch some movies. We go to redbox and get a scary movie and a chaser non scary movie so we can still sleep at night. We watch the scary movie get freaked out and watch our chaser to calm down. We are laying in the living room, it's dark except for the tv and the cats are just walking around like normal.

At one point. my sister goes into my nephew's room ( he wasn't there) and as she comes out, I scream and scare the ever lovin shit out of her. I was quite amused. I think she peed a little.

Halfway through our non scary movie (The Lincoln Lawyer) just as we both are about to fall asleep, we hear it again. It sounds like a herd of buffalo coming down the steps, loud meows, the sounds of the end of the world. My sister says "See that's not normal, why are they doing that??" I say " I don't know they are fighting but it does sound a little nuts." I get up and walk into my bedroom where they seem to be having a "Who Can Make the Most Obnoxious Scary Cat Noise Contest."

It's still dark and I am still a little freaked out from the scary movie and I turn on the light. I think " Oh Shit" then walk back to the living room and very calmly say " Yea ummm one of those cats doesn't belong. I don't know where it came from". She gets up and we are both like UMMMMM what now??? The two cats like just like each other.

Tippy runs into the bathroom, my sister shuts her in there. I close Stranger Cat in my room so they don't kill each other and then the search for Vinca begins. We call her and call her ..she doesn't answer (and yes she does answer when I call her name, both of my cats do). We search the whole house knowing that she is probably freaking out and isn't going to come out of hiding. I open my room and check about 5 times. Nothing. I knew she wouldn't be in there calmly while Stranger cat is in there. Then we go outside. Vinca will run out if the door is open but I don't let her out. I always grab her and bring her right in. If she got out, I have no idea where she could be or how long she was out there.

Me and my sister spend about five minutes trying to figure out how Stranger cat could have gotten in and how Vinca got out. Vinca got out once before and she was across the street behind my neighbors trash can on the side of their house. I go that way and look. Nothing.. It is 10:00 at night and we are trying to call her without waking up the neighborhood. I knocked on my neighbors door to let them know that if they see footprints on the side of their house, it's not a robber it was me. My tracks are all over in the snow. The lady next door to them has a cat so she calls her to see if her cat is missing. She says " Erica is here she is wondering if you are mising your cat. She may have yours and thinks you might have hers." Yea UMMM I never said that. I really don't think that the cat's emailed each other and said " Hey let's play a joke, you come here and I will go to your house.". Anyway, her cat wasn't missing. We did discover that one of the basement windows was slightly cracked and while it would have been a little tricky Stranger Cat could have gotten in. After about a half hour we went back inside.

My instinct says that Vinca is inside the whole time and I go in my room for the 50th time and she is in the corner behind furniture looking at me like " You better get this bitch outta here." Stranger cat was just chillin on my bed.

Exhibit B: Stranger Cat

While Stranger Cat (we were trying to come up with a name but by the looks of it this cat belongs to someone and isn't just a stray so I am guessing she has a name). While Stranger Cat is not nearly as fat as Tippy, they look alot alike. You can't see if here but both their paws are white and their striping is very similiar. I think Stranger Cat pounced on my face in the morning and I had no idea it wasn't my cat. She must have been in the house all day.

So I have 3 cats in my house. Stranger cat is upstairs. We put her in my sister's room (with the door closed) and put litter (which she used), food and water up there for her.

My sister called the SPCA last night when I went back outside ( before we found Vinca) and the lady answered the phone by saying "What do you want?" Really???? My sister said " Hello??" Lady ( I use the term lightly) again says " Yea what do you want??" My sister proceeds to tell her that our cat is missing and another cat is in the house and we aren't sure what to do." The lady says something along the lines of " Don't you know what's going on out there, people don't have electricity." Yea because electricity has EVERYTHING to do with my missing cat and Stranger Cat as does the SPCA. My sister at one point, while I was standing there said " You don't have to be so rude we are just worried about our cat if it's out there in this weather," I could hear the lady talking trying to be a little nicer but who does that??

Anyway, we can bring it to a shelter today but first I am going to try to see if I can find out who is missing a cat!!!!! It's gonna be a long day.

Boo

2011-10-28T17:22:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about Halloween. I have been in my house for 8 years and every year I follow the same routine for Halloween. My cousin (who now has a little girl.. cutest thing ever so she won't be there..waa) and my mom come over (she doesn't get any kids) and we sit on the front porch and hand out candy. I get a good amount of kids. The past 2 years I have gotten less kids than years before. I always wondered where they all come from because my neighborhood is mostly old people. However, last week I was driving into my neighborhood and had to stop for the school bus in front of me. I was shocked. There were at least 20 kids that got off at that stop. I see a few kids here and there when I walk or ride my bike but had no idea that there were as many kids as there were that piled out of that bus. I also think that the kids from the apartments about a half mile away come up this way as well. But there is always a pattern as I am sure there is in most neighborhoods.

Now you need to know that when they walk down the sidewalk, each of our houses have a few steps up and there is a sidewalk (path) up to my house. There are another 4 steps that lead up to my door. We sit on those steps so the kids don't have to climb up those too. The front yard is a tiny little " hill, The lawn isn't completely flat.

Here is the way the conversations go. First is the real conversation, then the conversation (or thoughts in my head) after they walk way.

Children 4 and under:

Me: " How cute are you??? Take what you want. Happy Halloween! Be careful going down the steps."
After:" Aw how cute was she/he?"

Children 5-8:
Me: : Who are you supposed to be? You look great! Take what you want. Happy Halloween! Be careful going down the steps."
After: " Isn't that age fun? You get so much candy and can trade with your friends."

Children 9-13:
Me: " Hello there (insert name of apparent video game character here). You can take 2! Happy Halloween. Be careful going down"
After: "Now why do they ignore the path they just walked up and walk down on the grass ? And why do I have to tell them to take 2 ? Because the last group took 5 each and I am going to run out of candy. They are lucky they are still kind of cute."

Children 14-17:
Me: " Happy Halloween"
After: " Ya know they could at least speak. They walk up here with no costume on, with a little fake blood on their face pretending to be something asking for candy. Aren't they too old for this?? I am turning out the light."

A Trip To The Dollar Store Can Be Priceless

2011-10-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

I went into the dollar store last week to pick up a few little things. The dollar store by my house is awesome. They have a wall of gift bags to die for. Anyway, apparently it was National " It is 3:40 on a Tuesday so everyone in a 5 miles radius go at the same time " Day. It was packed. I was looking around wondering why it was so crowded . I was looking for sale signs thinking there was a big sale then I realized that I was in the dollar store. Nothing is more than a dollar to begin with. I have no idea why the whole world was there but they were. I only had two things in my hand and got to the line. I was about to put my stuff back because there was only one cashier and the line was stupid long. Then I decided that I really have nowhere to be and that I would wait.

I have no patience. I HATE shopping and I hate standing in line even more. Because I always always always get in the wrong line. The person ahead of me needs a price check or has 4,000 coupons and needs to make sure that each one goes through and questions every beep on the register. Never fails. Being as there was only ONE register open, I couldn't be in the "wrong" line anyway.

So I am watching all the people in front of me (because there wasn't anything else to do) and observing what they were buying. Mostly all the normal stuff that people buy in a dollar store. One girl who looked about 16 bought like 15 things of hand soap and pulled out this huge WAD of money then decided to use a credit (maybe a debit) card. OK you are a child, you are in the dollar store and you have a wad of money in your hand. Just use the cash. It took her 5 minutes to pull the card out of her back pocket because her jeans were glued to her ass. I am guessing she's a hooker. Why else would you buy 15 things of hand soap with a wad of money in your hand? She was being a show off. Who isn't a show off in the dollar store?? Anyway, then there was the man who bought 5 things of some meaty thing and toilet paper. Looked like lebanon bologna but I don't think that's what it was . Gross. I have nothing against the dollar store but I find that a package of like 10 pieces of meat that is a dollar would have bad results. I guess that's why he had the toilet paper.

As I get closer to the end of my 5 hour wait ( it was really about 5 minutes ) I focus on the conversation being had behind me by a boy and a girl..I hadn't yet seen them at this point but they were about 15. This is what I hear:

Boy: "See that thing?" (referring to the pregnancy tests hanging there)
Girl: " Yea?"
Boy: " Whatsherface (I forget the name he said) took one of them that she bought here."
Girl: " OMG no way"
Boy: : "Yea (slight giggle) it came out positive . They don't work." ( at which point I casually turned my head to look.)
Girl:" So she's not pregnant???"
Boy: " No she didn't even have sex but it came back positive"
Girl: " Oh wow... I really want an energy drink".

Ok so Whatsherface went into the dollar store and bought a pregnancy test . I get that maybe buying one there may NOT be the most reliable way to go BUT do neither of you wonder WHY she is buying a pregnancy test if she hasn't had sex?

I kept my mouth shut because it was now my turn at the register. They will figure it out once they have their energy drinks.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2011-10-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

I am NOT a fan of frogs or turtles. My nephew keeps saying he wants a turtle. I'm scared. My reasons are as follows:

Frogs: are slimy. Many years ago when I was in grade school my older sister ( who was in high school) came home with a "present" for me. It was wrapped in a paper towel. I was standing in my parent's bedroom ( no carpet.. hardwood floor). She gave it to me all proud that she had a gift. I hesitated ( because it was wrapped in a paper towel). She told me to open it. I did. I had no idea what it was . She told me to smell it. I picked it up and slowly attempted to smell it at which point I knew something wasn't right. Then she tells me they dissected a frog at school and it was one of it's legs. I screamed at the top of my lungs , dropped it, turned green and started to run. I had on socks and slid all over the floor. I ran, still screaming into my bedroom, slammed the door and screamed some more. She was standing outside the door laughing her ass off . I knew that thing was still with her so I didn't open the door for many hours. I don't remember but I hope she got in trouble. She still thinks it's funny.

Turtles: I was babysitting my cousins one day. I was probably not much older than from the story above. My cousin found a turtle in the back yard and ran over to show me. I backed up a little because I wasn't sure what he had and didn't want to touch it. Naturally, he took that as an opportunity to freak me out. He must have chased me around the outside of the house 10 times laughing his little head off before I finally got inside. I wouldn't let him come in until I knew that the turtle was left outside.

These traumatic experiences have created a strong dislike for these creatures. If a turtle enters this house, I am going to have to set some rules or get a restraining order that forbids the turtle to come within 50 feet of me.

Check it out to the top right! We got groupons. Check them out here daily!

It's a bumpy ride.....

2011-10-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I loved amusement park rides. I couldn't wait to get on the ride and as soon as I got off I wanted to get on again. Especially roller coasters. No ride was off limits. As I started to get a little older the only thing that scared me was the ferris wheel. I stopped riding them. They rock all over the place and there really isn't much keeping you inside. Lately, you hear about a lot of accidents and a lot tend to involve ferris wheels. Never again will I get on one. My palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it.

All other rides were still fine and I enjoyed going on them. There was a period of several years that I wasn't on any rides. Simply because most 30ish year olds don't call each other and say hey let's go to Great Adventure. Then the kids started arriving. As they started to get a little older , they could go on rides. The rides were the little trains, cars and animal shaped rides that went about 1 mph. It was fun to watch them on there so happy and I looked forward to the day when they reached the "line" and could go on big people rides.

Then it happened. A few years ago my family went to Disney World. I had two objectives. First was to get on as many rides as I could because I hadn't done it in years and second was to eat Mickey Bars ( I never ate them).

So we are in Disney with three kids. I have been there many times but not in the previous 4-5 years and never with the kids ( not my kids , my nephews and niece). They are old and tall enough for the "medium" rides but not tall enough for most of the bigger rides. A little disappointed but at least I get on some rides. The adults would also get a chance to get on some big rides as well.

So we get in line for Thunder Mountain. Ya know, just a regular coaster but nothing crazy. So we are all in the car and I start freaking out ( internally of course). Are the kids strapped in ok?? I am worried that they are going to fall out. The whole ride I have my arm wrapped across my niece because my arm will act as steel and keep her in place on a coaster going many mph should there be a malfunction. I hated every second of that ride. Then we got on it again. The second time was worse because now we have doubled out chances of death. This went on for a week on every ride.

The adults went to Aerosmith's Rockin Roller Coaster. I was scared to death. Normally when you are waiting in line, you are anxious to get there. The line couldn't have been long enough. Of course I am not going to say anything because then I look crazy. But I think I peed a little. Most people scream on rides because they are having fun and excited. I was screaming because I was experiencing my last moments on earth over and over again. I continued to go on them in hopes that I was just not used to doing it for awhile and that just one time I would get on a ride and not be scared. I just didn't know that that ride would be It's a Small World. I conquered that bitch without a problem.

Weird thing it that when I got off the rides, I was ok. I wasn't so terrified about getting on another one until the next one came along.

Last weekend, I was in Ocean City for the MS City to Shore ride. I did the ride on Saturday ( with my sister and brother in law and the other members of our team). On Sunday, the boys went to the ocean and we took my niece to the boards because she wanted to go on some rides. Didn't really think twice about it because I has no idea that I would be the one volunteered to go on them with her.

I handled it amazingly. First we went on the Pirate Ship. It was a chilly weekend and it wasn't crowded...at all. We were the only one on the ship. Of course she wanted to sit in the very back. This ride tickles my cooch like nobody's business... well I guess I just made it your business. I was only slightly paranoid that she would fall out.. I checked the bar 10 times then I was ok. We went on a coaster and few other rides . None of which were anything scary. I think if I still with boardwalk rides and avoid amusement parks, I will be able to continue to ride.

I fear I may become the one sitting in the bench all the time, bored and waiting for everyone to get off the ride. I am not ready for that. But if that does happen and I am in Disney, I will be sitting on that bench with a Mickey bar.

It ain't easy being me.

Eat More Chicken

2011-09-28T17:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone always says how kids today look so much younger than years ago. I do agree that for the most part it's true. A lot of girls look about 10 years older than they are. They dress older, wear more makeup and just seem to grow up too fast. Boys are 9 feet tall and built much more "healthy" than was I was young. I remember all the boys being lanky at that age. Rumor has it that it is the hormones in chicken these days making the boobies and facial hair grow at an early age. When I was younger , I must have been the only one to eat chicken with hormones in it. By the time we had our movie on a girl's menstrual cycle and how it works in grade school I had already had mine for like a year. Everyone giggled and was grossed out. I was bored and already over it.

The point is that this isn't always the case. I pulled into WaWa the other day. I had my mom with me and I waited in the car while she ran in. While I was waiting I noticed an SUV next to me with the music on. I looked over and saw this CHILD sitting in the driver's seat. He didn't look older that 12. It was ridiculous. So naturally I was staring like WTF?? I couldn't take my eyes off of him because I couldn't figure out if he was driving and just looked stupid young or if he hopped in the seat when his mommy went inside. Every once in awhile he looked over (because I was eye stalking him) and I would look away real quick. Then I saw it. He was smoking a cigarette. It looked every kind of wrong. He was holding it like it was a joint because he was cool like that. I just stared at him for what seemed like an hour before my mom came out. All the while knowing that I HATE when people stare at other people. It's one thing to glance but it's just rude to stare. I had no control over my eye stalking.

Then he drove away. There is either a child somewhere out there smoking and driving around in a silver SUV or there is a teenage boy out there that needs to start eating chicken.

Read with "Caution"

2011-09-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

Since I have been training for The MS City to Ride shore this week ( link to the right) I have been noticing things that really get on my nerves. There are two different kinds of drivers. The first kind are those who are extremely cautious of walkers, runners ,bikers etc. The other is (obviously) those who will run you over if you are in the way.

Let's talk about the cautious ones. It's really nice that you are making sure you don't hit me while I am on my bike. I understand your consideration. If I ever fall off my bike, I can only hope that it's you that is driving past me because chances are pretty slim that you are going to run my head over. That being said, it is NOT necessary that you remain 20 feet behind me and follow me down the road. Pass me. I am right next to the curb therefore you have all the room on the road. When you ride behind me like that I feel like you are stalking me and I am waiting for you to ask me if I want any candy. I will probably say yes because I love candy (if you are a little kid..never answer a stranger like that and get off the internet you should not be reading this). But since no one has offered yet, just keeping driving. I am nowhere NEAR being in your way. You may be more likely to hit me when I fall because I am checking behind me every 5 seconds waiting for you to pass.

Now for the the inconsiderate ones. If you drive the way you are supposed to, you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else who may be exercising near you. If the lady that flew around the corner onto a tiny little street at about 70 mph is reading this, I was barely moving because I was being cautious. I am aware of the trees that may block a drivers view of me so I was waiting. Not only was I waiting, I was waiting to cross the street onto the sidewalk to avoid the issue that you almost created. So next time you give someone who is doing the RIGHT thing a dirty look or even better, next time you do that and run someone over because you thought you were in a episode of Knight Rider, I hope you shit your pants and your car smells like poop forever.

Now let's talk about people walking in parking lots. Ok I know that cars are supposed to yield to pedestrians. But come on. I was at Walmart the other day and I sat there and waited about 5 minutes before I could go because apparently they were giving away free samples of crack .The amount of people coming of out that store was ridiculous. No one even looks anymore. They just walk and figure the car will wait for them. You are SUPPOSED to watch for cars. They walk 5 people wide in the middle of a parking lot. When they DO finally notice that a car is beyond them they look surprised (of course they do it is very surprising to see a CAR in a parking lot). But they don't move. They just keep walking. People have no consideration.

After having said all this, I will reveal something that I did about 6 months ago. I was leaving a parking lot and me car was parked between two big trucks. As I walked to my car there wasn't a soul in site. I get in my car and start it (which obviously makes noise). Because I can't see too well with the trucks sticking out further than my car was I looked the best I could and very slowly started to back up (by very slowly I mean I was barely moving). First I hear it in my rear view mirror. Then I see it. What is IT you ask? It is the little Chinese lady that was walking past my car that I hit. Oops. Well I didn't really hit her she seemed to have walked into my car because I wasn't even out of the spot yet. I was just getting ready to turn the wheel. Now if I walking and heard a car start I would know that in about 10 seconds a car is going to pull out. She couldn't see me I know this because the trucks were blocking me but she had to hear me. Luckily, I was aware that I may not been seen and she just bounced a little.HAHA So I put down my window and say I am sorry and ask if she is ok but she just kept on walking like it didn't even phase her. Maybe she was deaf??? Ok then. So I start to back out again after getting over the initial shock that I just had a little bobblehead in my rear view. I knew she wasn't hurt because I wasn't really moving and she just shook it off and went on her way. However, her husband was standing at the car, which was about 200 feet away just looking at me. Dude, if she IS deaf you should be with her and if she isn't you should still be with her to help her with the bags.

So the moral of the story is be cautious but not overly cautious and try not to hit poor little Chinese ladies.

God Bless The U.S.A

2011-09-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray to God for those who weep.

We sat and stared in morbid fear
We watched the Towers begin to sear.

Ten years have passed since that fateful day
When all the world knelt down to pray.

No day goes by that we forget
The souls of those we never met.

To our heroes who stand so proud and tall
Peace to all whose name grace each wall.

A moment of silence with no words to say
God Bless you all and the U.S.A.

-Erica Gordon

I have a "Situation"

2011-09-08T16:38:00.000-07:00

I think I need to start utilizing my brain a little more frequently. I had a dream the other night (the kind of dream that seems to last for hours- Yes I know they don't really last forever for those who like to correct everything people say).

In my dream, I was asked to be on Jersey Shore. So I went and was shooting in this little cramped house. I was excited to be on the show but I needed to be sure that people remembered me because I was new to the cast and was worried that I wouldn't be a "hit". I tried to not create big issues but it was easy for me to fit in with everyone. Me and Snooki were sitting on a bed talking and she was texting. She was texting into a small pillow (that fit in her hand). She was sewing the words into the pillow with her fingernails ( not with needles but thread was coming out of her fingers- She must be Spidey-Snooki) and that's how she was sending her texts .

Oh Yeah! I need a hobby-Yeah!

Nice try Asshole

2011-08-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was going through my emails. I came across an email about a part time position ( which I had put some feelers out about part time work) . The subject was Customer Evaluator. Most of the time I delete these emails because they are crocks but I read it. It was from a company ( whose name I will not say). It was a mystery shopper thing and I was skeptical. So I went to the actual site and did some google searches to see if it was a scam. The company was real. So I emailed back to the man who sent the email, Michael Hall, who was the Director of Human Resources and said I would be interested to hear more.

He replied the next day saying that since I am new to their company only one business was interested to start then we would go from there. Ok fine. The company was Western Union. He said that once he had the package ready he would let me know and we could proceed. I asked what it entailed and didn't get a quick response. Whatever. About a week later, Mr. Hall emails me saying that it was approved and my package was being sent out. Now all I know is that I am supposed to be surveying a local Western Union office. I still have no idea what the hell this means. The end of the email says :" Hope to read from you soonest. God Bless." I find this odd.
I reply and simply say OK.

I get an email on Tuesday saying that the package was mailed and it included a tracking number. He asked that I email him when I receive the package.Again, his email ended with "Hope to read from you soonest. God Bless". I reply and say that I will.

I get home from work yesterday and the envelope is in the mail. I open it and there is a Cashiers Check for $1900.28 and a letter. Um ok?? The letter tells me that I need to go to the bank ( it had to be MY bank) and to cash the check. I keep 10% for the job and the rest I have to Western Union to two people...two people in the Philippines. It says that I need to do it within 24 hours in order for me to keep the 10% and gives me instructions on how to " mystery shop" the Western union office. Now as soon as I saw the Cashiers Check I knew it was a scam. Who the hell in their right mind would send $1900 ( don't forget the 28 cents) to some chick from online. The end of the letter said "God bless." The letterhead is from a Consulting Group and signed by a woman with PhD. at the end of her name. Yea ok Doc.The spelling and grammar was a nightmare. There is a telephone number listed that contains 9 digits. Apparently she is a
"doctor" because she wasn't good at science. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that phones numbers are NOT 9 digits long. However, the number is listed again at the bottom of the letterhead with the correct amount of digits. Naturally I call and the "magic jack" number can not be reached.

So now I am thinking about how dumb I am to even say ok but it was a legit company. A legit company that had some assholes using bogus emails with their name. I check my email and I have a message from Michael Hall asking if I received the package. I am not sure how I want to proceed with this shitface so I reply "yes". I then called the police department and ask what I should do with it. They tell me that they can come out or I can just shred it and that I am the fourth person to call them about this in the last week. Of course I just shred it because that is a big waste of taxpayer money for them to come out. I get another email giving me instructions on how to proceed. SOOOOOO I respond.. Here it is:

I have some "instructions" for you. First of all " I hope to read from you soonest" makes NO sense. I am not a book, therefore you do not read from me. Soonest???? Realllyyy??? Obviously, your English "Michael Hall" leaves a bit to be desired. Second of all, a director of Human Resources would know better than the say "God Bless" on his emails. Maybe I am an atheist and am offended. Business emails and letters should not contain religious statements. Oh and when trying to scam someone by sending them fraudulent checks you might want to take some grammar courses first. But not to worry, I have passed the package onto the proper authorities. I do hope that you eventually end up in jail with a man named Bubba who will gladly show you with HIS "package" where I think you can shove your "cashiers check".

May God bless and I hope to read from you soonest!!