Life

ABUSE of OTC's

2012-05-04T01:04:00.000-07:00

Over-the-counter (OTC) drugs are drugs that do not require a prescription and can simply be bought “over-the-counter”, as their name states.

I decided to let everyone know that their is ABUSE with things that you can buy over the counter. I would have never thought about some of the things I have learned about since my kids have been in Middle School and High School. We do live in Las Vegas, however while doing more research for this I have found that Michigan was one of the top states for abuse of OTC's than any other place in the USA.

Here are some of types of OTC drugs that are most common of abuse:
Sleep Assistants
Cold medicines (cough syrups and tablets)
Diet pills
Motion sickness drugs

Over 71,000 children (under 18) are being seen in emergency rooms each day in our nation due to accidental and over-the-counter drug overdoses.

Just thought I would put a little up for you to think about. I am very tired and need to sleep. I will be back to finish this for you tomorrow!

Wanting to End it All ~ After Antidepressants

2012-05-01T23:50:00.001-07:00

So.... I haven't been on for a while now. I had a very close friend who is more like a Sister to me decide she was going to end it all. We both felt the same way after we had to stop taking our antidepressant Celexa, because we no longer had an Dr to prescribe it to us. She had been off of her medication for about 2 weeks; she called me in tears on Monday the 23rd because how she was feeling. We had talked about how coming off of this medication made us feel, and that it wasn't a good feeling. I told her she needed to go to the Hospital. She said she would be fine and that she had a job interview the next day and was going to the Dr on Wednesday to see about getting back on her medication.

So to get to the point, she got the job and never made it to the Dr's appointment because she decided to check out and end it all early Wednesday morning. This is what she posted:
i tried to write a letter but fb fuckd up, so, i'm going away for awhile now, hopefully to see my maker & i hope he doesnt get mad for me cheating but HE did bring me into this world and made it HELL so if i end up somewhere else, it wouldnt make a difference for me, loosing my bubba is the greatest punishment HE has ever given me & i'm done trying to deal with it. I'm sorry i've made some u upset, but i do have to go, i have no reason to be here anymore....I LOVE YOU XXXX,XXXXX, ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL!!! LETS HOPE I ACTUALLY GETT'ER DONE.......LATE, fckn helipocters are here

The helicopters she is talking about is how it felt inside her head. She had told me she felt like she was under water. So we do have a happy ending to what happened, but the end has yet to come to a complete. She is alive due to FB and friends and family paying attention and making sure she was found before she could end it all. There is still a long road ahead because now the State gets involved. But she is getting the help she needs.

When I went off of my medication due to having to find a new Dr. (which I have an Appointment on Friday) I felt the same way. However as you know from previous Blogs that I would never leave my children here because I was selfish ( not saying that she was, because she felt this is how she could deal with it) and wanted to take my Life. I came up with a little poem to for that to and this is how it goes:
I gave my Children Life...
Now they give me Life...
If it wasn't for them,
I don't know where I would be.
I Love you Children of Mine!

I strongly recommend that if you are ever taking an antidepressant that you make sure that you will not go off of them without the help of a Dr. it causes so much to your Mind and Body that you would never want to go through. I know this because I have had to do so more than once in my Life. I will be talking to the Dr. on Friday and let them know this and make sure we have a plan so that this doesn't ever happen again. I know I feel better when I take them due to the illness that I suffer and I am a Better Person to everyone around me.

http://depression.emedtv.com/celexa/withdrawals-from-celexa.html
Check out the videos, I found them very helpful for someone who might wonder if they suffer from depression and where does depression come from.
However the Celexa withdrawals stated that you are more likely to want to kill yourself or have thoughts about doing it while taking the medication. I would have to agree to that because I did have thoughts about not wanting to be here. However after going off of the medication all at once seem to make the feeling worse.

I hope I have given some of you hope and knowledge to the effects of what might happen when you stop taking your Antidepressant without the help of a Dr. Below find some more links that might be of help.

Depression and Suicide

People with clinical depression are at a greater risk of suicide than people without the condition. This eMedTV page offers detailed information on the link between depression and suicide, as well as statistics and a list of risk factors for suicide.

Here is a link for someone who is thinking about or for someone who knows someone (Suicide) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

If someone you Love shows signs of suicide please get them help. Watch for the signs. You might just save a Life.

Quotes About Life

2012-04-23T16:25:00.000-07:00

Some quotes about life:

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away!

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ― Dr. Seuss

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

"But better to be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie."
— Khaled Hosseini

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself."
— Robert Frost

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

“Who are you to judge the life I live?

I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-

but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!”
― Bob Marley

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”

― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
― Mark Twain

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
— Douglas Adams
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer" Douglas Adams

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
— George Bernard Shaw

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Well I hope this gives everyone some great insight on how Life is or is thought to be by others. All I know is it a matter of Choice on how we live our Life and God has given us Freedom of Choice on which path we choose to follow!
Until Next Time May we all have a Blessed Life

Postpartum Depression, Baby Blues, Panic & Anxiety

2012-04-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

Last night as laid there trying to fall asleep my brain just wouldn't shut off. I think when I have nights like that maybe I will start writing here and see if it helps me shut it off!

Today I woke and did the FB to see if I was needed LOL and did find that my Niece messaged me and was upset about how she has been feeling lately and how she just can't handle it anymore. I had to remind her that she did just have a baby, and her Hormones were getting the Best of Her. http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womenshealth/features/hormone.htm is a Great site for information on Female Hormones. Postpartum Depression, Postnatal Depression or AKA as "The Baby Blues" happens after you have a baby. The Baby Blues only lasts around 10 days after having your baby. If you experience that you are moody, cry for no reason, angry at the world, sleep, anxiety, hopeless, appetite is different or just out right sad you probably have postpartum depression.

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU HAVE POSTPARTUM/POSTNATAL DEPRESSION:
1 in 8 Suffer

You need to remember first off that it is a disease just like having a heart attack! The people around you should also understand this.They should be willing to help you and lend a hand to you as if you just got out of surgery! Once our friends and family understand and come to grips that it isn't just you being a Bitch then things will come easier for you and you will be able to take on the day a little bit easier.

When we understand what we have and that it is something that happens after being pregnant and having children, the maybe we can have a different perspective on how to handle it. Sometimes talking to someone who has gone through it will help, if you would rather you could also talk to a Therapist too. There are support group for this please check for a local one. http://postpartum.net/ Is a site that will help you find the support you need.

After having my first child I had my first anxiety attack! I remember it very well and don't think I could ever forget how it made me feel. It was raining very hard and I was standing on the porch of my parents home holding my baby, taking in the smell of the rain and enjoying the sound. As I stood there watching the rain come down and not having a care in the world LIGHTING struck at that moment my body felt as if I couldn't breath and I had no control of it, I just felt helpless. I went inside and called my OB because I needed answers! They let me know what had happened and because I was breast feeding they recommended a baby dose of Benadryl and you know what it helped. People think they need to take all of these drugs that make them "feel good" little do they know how addictive they are.

So I leave it at this for now...time to run some errands and see what comes of the day. Talk at you later and I hope this has helped!

Serotonin - The lack of it - How to replace without Drugs

2012-04-17T08:25:00.001-07:00

Today I was (as I always am) on FB this morning to see what was up with everyone. So while on there I decided to write about how to replace serotonin in your brain and why you need to have it. Also what causes your brain to be low on serotonin.!

I went outside this morning with my Hubby and walked to the Gas station to get some drinks. So by going outside not only did I get some Vitamin D from the sun I also got some exercise which helps your brain produce serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical your brain makes and it helps you to feel Happy!

If you want to learn more about the other chemicals "Neurotransmitters" that you need to feel good please do so as I will only be talking about Serotonin today.

Why is Serotonin so important to have? Well not only does it keep you from becoming a emotional mess, it also controls how easily you can become angry, your appetite, and sleep. I have noticed all of these symptoms while going off of my anti-depressant.

I went to a class with my daughter and I don't even have to be talking about anything that would cause me to want to cry but without the extra serotonin that my medication would help produce I start crying while I am talking. Most people would think damn this lady is Crazy... and one lady gave me a hug and told me everything will be okay, and the other gave my daughter her cell number. This woman who gave my daughter her number totally understood me. She said her mother also was very emotional, I had listened to her story and this is why I knew she would understand me. This is why we stopped after the class to talk to her.
Without enough serotonin I tend to fly off the handle for no reason. It effects my household because they seem to be the ones who have to listen to me rant and rave. I know this isn't fair to them, not only does it cause them to lash out themselves but it causes them emotional stress too. I hate when I do this, but as the saying goes "You only hurt the ones you Love" boy oh boy how true is that saying.
I tend to either want to just eat a bunch of junk food sometimes. Or my body chooses to not want to eat anything. I have had both ends of this problem when it comes to my appetite. I remember when I was separated from the kids Dad that I went from 132 pounds to 104 pounds in a month. The only thing I seemed to do was Work, Dance, and Drink during this time. However I did drink soda and try and put something in my body during the day. Sometimes I would have to force myself to eat during this time in my life, I would maybe eat what add up to be maybe a forth of a sandwich for the whole day. Please if this happens to you please get help "Hind side is 20/20" as my Mother would say. At this time in my life I hadn't started taking any medication. Now I know that I needed some help.
I either just wanted to sleep all day and not leave my bed. Or I would have the other side to it which is not being able to fall asleep.

What your body needs to help with Serotonin is Vitamin B6, "Serotonin is a natural brain chemical," says Nina Frusztajer, MD, co-author of The Serotonin Power Diet.http://serotoninpowerdiet.com/ "It is associated with reducing appetite — it balances mood and can give you a calm energy."

I will leave this for now and hope you have found this useful. Below you will find the other types of chemicals your brain produces.

Neurotransmitters 101

Neurotransmitters are the chemicals that allow communication to occur in the brain. Different neurotransmitters allow and/or produce different functions. We can link various thinking, feeling and behavioral actions and states to various transmitters. A partial list of neurotransmitters include:

Dopamine

Norepinephrine

Serotonin

GABA

Enkephalin

SLEEP Melatonin & REM

2012-04-15T10:49:00.002-07:00

SLEEP

Sleep is so important in our life that as we grow older we tend to forget that. As babies we slept most of the day, have you ever wonder why? Probably not, because most of us know that babies need their rest because they are growing so fast. Well you never stop growing if you think about.... You continue to use your brain on a daily basis! It is important to rest not only our body it is important to rest our mind. This comes easier for some than others. Last night I had so much going through my head I couldn't seem to turn off my brain. Finally after trying so hard to fall asleep I finally just turned everything off and laid in the dark and was able to fall asleep. Our brain produces melatonin which is a chemical that helps us sleep. YOU need it to be dark in order for your brain to produce melatonin. "A hormone... is a chemical messenger that carries a signal from one cell to another" http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/natural/940.html

It is important for all of us to know our bodies and try and give our body what it needs. Some people need more REM sleep than others. Your body and mind will let you know how much you need. If you are having some of the issues listed below and are not sure how much you need I suggest that you either try a sleep study to see if you are sleeping like you should, or seek medical attention.

MELATONIN

Know what foods help you produce Melatonin click below for a helpful site.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/298845-what-foods-produce-melatonin/

"Melatonin is a hormone found naturally in the body. Melatonin used as medicine is usually made synthetically in a laboratory. It is most commonly available in pill form, but melatonin is also available in forms that can be placed in the cheek or under the tongue. This allows the melatonin to be absorbed directly into the body.

People use melatonin to adjust the body’s internal clock. It is used for jet lag, for adjusting sleep-wake cycles in people whose daily work schedule changes (shift-work disorder), and for helping blind people establish a day and night cycle.

Melatonin is also used for the inability to fall asleep (insomnia); delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS); insomnia associated with attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); insomnia due to certain high blood pressure medications called beta-blockers; and sleep problems in children with developmental disorders including autism, cerebral palsy, and mental retardation. It is also used as a sleep aid after discontinuing the use of benzodiazepine drugs and to reduce the side effects of stopping smoking.

Some people use melatonin for Alzheimer’s disease, ringing in the ears, depression, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), fibromyalgia, migraine and other headaches, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), bone loss (osteoporosis), a movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia (TD), epilepsy, as an anti-aging agent, for menopause, and for birth control." http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/natural/940.html

REM

Sleep is prompted by natural cycles of activity in the brain and consists of two basic states: rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep, which consists of Stages 1 through 4. During the deep stages of NREM sleep, the body repairs and regenerates tissues, builds bone and muscle, and appears to strengthen the immune system. As you get older, you sleep more lightly and get less deep sleep. Aging is also associated with shorter time spans of sleep, although studies show the amount of sleep needed doesn't appear to diminish with age.

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/sleep-101

I hope you can find this of help as I know I did. Please always ask a Doctor or Medical Professional if you ever have questions about any of this. PLEASE never take something if you take prescription medications without asking your Pharmacist of Medical Professional first I was a Pharmacy Tech before I went on disability. Talk to you soon! Have a Great Sunday!

Spinning Out of Control

2012-04-15T01:46:00.002-07:00

Spinning out of control seems to be what I have been doing best this past month. It isn't fair to the people around me I just can't help it. It effects others around you because they don't really know if everything is going to be alright, even when you tell them that you will get through this. I would have to say that my mood swings are more often than that of someone who goes through withdraws from drugs and alcohol. Not saying that one is better than the other. I have so many Highs and Lows that it is hard for the people around me to want to stay.

Today I went off just because the kids bought pizza. I need to learn to wait to speak my mind sometimes and try not to go off when they have friends over. I guess if I could learn to do this then I could learn how to control my moods. Being off of medication is so very hard for me and it isn't healthy with me being bipolar. I know there are so many people who say that they can handle things just fine without, however I am not one of those people. I never made it to the hospital today and I still struggle to breath, maybe if it gets bad enough I will have someone take me. Sorry off track... Anyway I just wanted to let you know that it is okay to spin out as long as you can pull in back together and be okay. If you ever feel that you have totally lost control of your life PLEASE get HELP for YOURSELF. Because I know it is hard for the ones around you to have to lose you forever. Life may end for you but for the ones left behind it really can screw them up. I should know, it has not only happened to me but people I love and friends.

Signing off for now will be back later, I am going to try and sleep... Not saying it will happen right away but if I set the timer on the TV and turn it down maybe just maybe I will fall asleep and I HOPE for DEEP REM... something else I will give you some research on later.

Night!

Information on TBI & OCD

2012-04-14T13:19:00.001-07:00

Okay so after doing some research it has come to my attention that it seems that most mental illness can be related to one another. So here is some research on OCD and why you can have loss of memory or (after research a new medical term I learned) TBI after a car accident. Please feel free to follow the links for there is more information there than what I have copied for you to read and hope to help you understand.

So as of now I am probably going to the hospital again for the fluid on my lung, I am having a hard time breathing. You know as well as I do that I won't be able to keep us informed if I don't breath. So I will be back soon, maybe not tomorrow but soon. Wish me luck, and maybe they can tell me what is causing it as I was just there a few weeks ago and the drained it and sent it in to find out what it is from!

Amnesia (from Greek Ἀμνησία) is a condition in which one's memory is lost. The causes of amnesia have traditionally been divided into certain categories. Memory appears to be stored in several parts of the limbic system of the brain, and any condition that interferes with the function of this system can cause amnesia. Functional causes are psychological factors, such as mental disorder, post-traumatic stress or, in psychoanalytic terms, defence mechanisms. Amnesia may also appear as spontaneous episodes, in the case of transient global amnesia.^[1]
A mental disorder or mental illness is a psychological pattern, potentially reflected in behavior, that is generally associated with distress or disability, and which is not considered part of normal development of a person's culture. Mental disorders are generally defined by a combination of how a person feels, acts, thinks or perceives. This may be associated with particular regions or functions of the brain or rest of the nervous system, often in a social context. The recognition and understanding of mental health conditions have changed over time and across cultures, and there are still variations in definition, assessment and classification, although standard guideline criteria are widely used. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), over a third of people in most countries report problems at some time in their life which meet criteria for diagnosis of one or more of the common types of mental disorder.^[1]
The causes of mental disorders are varied and in some cases unclear, and theories may incorporate findings from a range of fields. Services are based in psychiatric hospitals or in the community, and assessments are carried out by psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and clinical social workers, using various methods but often relying on observation and questioning. Clinical treatments are provided by various mental health professionals. Psychotherapy and psychiatric medication are two major treatment options, as are social interventions, peer support and self-help. In a minority of cases there might be involuntary detention or involuntary treatment, where legislation allows. Stigma and discrimination can add to the suffering and disability associated with mental disorders (or with being diagnosed or judged as having a mental disorder), leading to various social movements attempting to increase understanding and challenge social exclusion. Prevention is now appearing in some mental health strategies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amnesia

What Exactly is a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)?

Here's a formal definition adopted by the Brain Injury Association of America (BIA) Board of Directors in 1986:

"Traumatic brain injury is an insult to the brain, not of a degenerative or congenital nature but caused by an external physical force, that may produce a diminished or altered state of consciousness, which results in an impairment of cognitive abilities or physical functioning. It can also result in the disturbance of behavioral or emotional functioning. These impairments may be either temporary or permanent and cause partial or total functional disability or psychosocial maladjustment."

As the name suggests, and as this definition states, a TBI is an injury to the brain that results from an external force, or trauma, to the head. In other words, it's a head injury that causes damage to the brain. The "external force" can be a direct blow to the head such as hitting the floor in a fall accident or striking the steering wheel in a car accident. Even though the skull is not penetrated or fractured, the force can cause the brain to be injured in a number of ways. Or, the "external force" can be a rapid acceleration and deceleration of the head that shakes or rotates the brain. Examples of this are whiplash in a car accident or Shaken Baby Syndrome. As the BIA definition states, the "external force" damages the tissues and cells of the brain causing temporary or permanent impairment in the cognitive, emotional and physical abilities of an individual.

Emotional symptoms can include . . .

increased anxiety.
depression and mood swings.
impulsive behavior.
more easily agitated.
egocentric behaviors, difficulty seeing how behaviors can affect others.

If you have any of these symptoms after a whiplash injury, especially if they persist for more than a few days, you should be evaluated to see if you have a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). While they experience the same symptoms as a normal adult, children and seniors present unique symptoms and diagnostic problems.

http://www.all-about-car-accidents.com/brain-injuries.html

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a type of anxiety disorder, is a potentially disabling illness that traps people in endless cycles of repetitive thoughts and behaviors. People with OCD are plagued by recurring and distressing thoughts, fears, or images (obsessions) they cannot control. The anxiety (nervousness) produced by these thoughts leads to an urgent need to perform certain rituals or routines (compulsions). The compulsive rituals are performed in an attempt to prevent the obsessive thoughts or make them go away.
Although the ritual may temporarily alleviate anxiety, the person must perform the ritual again when the obsessive thoughts return. This OCD cycle can progress to the point of taking up hours of the person's day and significantly interfering with normal activities. People with OCD may be aware that their obsessions and compulsions are senseless or unrealistic, but they cannot stop them.
obsessions and compulsions, may vary. Common obsessions include:

Fear of dirt or contamination by germs.
Fear of causing harm to another.
Fear of making a mistake.
Fear of being embarrassed or behaving in a socially unacceptable manner.
Fear of thinking evil or sinful thoughts.
Need for order, symmetry, or exactness.
Excessive doubt and the need for constant reassurance.

Common compulsions include:

Repeatedly bathing, showering, or washing hands.
Refusing to shake hands or touch doorknobs.
Repeatedly checking things, such as locks or stoves.
Constant counting, mentally or aloud, while performing routine tasks.
Constantly arranging things in a certain way.
Eating foods in a specific order.
Being stuck on words, images or thoughts, usually disturbing, that won't go away and can interfere with sleep.
Repeating specific words, phrases, or prayers.
Needing to perform tasks a certain number of times.
Collecting or hoarding items with no apparent value.

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/obsessive-compulsive-disorder

Going Outside OCD

2012-04-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Good morning.... or is it? I woke up and took the dogs to the back door so they would go outside; to do their thing, buuutttttt they didn't want to go outside- to cold - rainy- or who knows why they chose not to somedays. I guess they are a lot like me they just don't speak my language most of the time for me to understand. This would be true for me to say because even though I speak the same language as most people who I communicate with they seem to not understand a word I say. I would like to think that I have good communication skills, I was a leader in middle school and did my own thing in high school and even trained a lead others throughout my life before going on disablity.

I know my kids tell me that I should go back to work but I wonder if they lived in my head how they would feel about that. There are days I can't even leave my own room now a days. I become so panic stricten if I have to think about leaving that I can't even breath. So today I had to come up with my own defense weapon to go downstairs and I use this one a lot "B*TCHING" not at anyone inperticular just doing it in gengeral. It seems to side track the brain to do what I need to get done while I am there.

I know I listed some of the stuff that I suffer from but I did leave out some of it. I have been in several accidents in my life and seem to forget things. So if you have known me from some part in my life I sometimes need what I call triggers ( I am sure I got that from some medical source or person) to help me remember you even things we have done. This is so fustrating to me because I so want to know if maybe there was something I should be asamed of LOL... But if you think about it sometimes this is a good thing. For example my husband and I might be having a fight or disagreement over who knows what when one of us turn our heads it is like we foret what we were even fighting or arguining over. This is also true when it comes to other people in my life. I would have to say this would be Gods gift to me!

So I hope to learn to be a Great Blogger and that it helps someone, even just one person would be great. Please feel free to give me feedback in the comment section. Oh yeah if I seem to go in all directions don't forget I am off of meds right now and that I do have Adult ADD. This can be a good thing or a bad thing, just depends on the day. Well I did say that I would be making sure that I help people understand stuff about what I suffer from and hope that it may help them understand it better. So today I will research about memory and OCD. So I will be back later to give you some answers, who knows it just might help me too!

Have a Better Day than Me and talk at you soon! Oh yeah having a hard time breathing today due to some other medical issue, but I will deal with that later! ( I know that I did not spell everything correct, however when hitting the spell check it doesn't give me any missppelled words so please forgive me if I did)

What is it? What do I suffer from ... What Now?

2012-04-13T10:48:00.003-07:00

What is Mental Illness? It is a Noun. Any of various conditions characterized by impairment of an individual's normal cognitive, emotional, or behavioral functioning, and caused by social, psychological, biochemical, genetic, or other factors, such as infection or head trauma. Also called emotional illness, mental disease, Also called mental disorder.

Bipolar disorder is a mental health disorder in which the brain causes a person to go into extreme moods for lengthy periods of time. The manic mood is an unstable mood, erratic thoughts, is a high-energy, and risky behavior. If you or a loved one has bipolar disorder, it is a very manageable disease with several Bipolar treatment options.

To learn more go to: http://health.yellowise.com/articles/detail/bipolar_treatment.html?article_id=76&keyword=Bipolar%2BTreatment

Depression is known by different names like exhaustion; lethargy; languidness; languor; lassitude; and listlessness, though varying dramatically from a usual state of lethargy to a specific work-induced burning sensation within your muscles. Physical depression is the incapability to continue performance at the level of your normal ability. It is omnipresent in everyday life, but usually becomes chiefly noticeable during heavy physical exercise. depression of the brain on the other hand, rather comes into effect in while asleep. Depression is considered as a symptom, as opposed to a sign , because it is reported by the patient instead of being observed by others. It is very common for Depression and feelings of depression not to be confused with each other.

To learn more go to: http://health.yellowise.com/articles/detail/depression_information_and_resources.html?article_id=13&keyword=depression

An anxiety attack is a short period of overwhelming fear that comes on with no warning and for no rational reason.Those who experience anxiety attacks one or three should go to a doctor. An anxiety attack is also often called a panic attack.

Anxiety Symptoms

This uncertainty coupled with the actual physical and emotional symptoms of an anxiety attack makes life very challenging for those who have anxiety attacks. Some people become so scared of an anxiety attack coming at an inappropriate. This fear is often called agoraphobia. especially when used in reference to anxiety attacks.People experience anxiety attacks in all situations and statistically very few experience anxiety attacks in open spaces.

To learn more go to: http://health.yellowise.com/articles/detail/anxiety_information_and_resources.html?article_id=28&keyword=Anxiety

Adult ADD/ADHD - Life can be a balancing act for any adult, but if you find yourself constantly late and disorganized, overly distracted and forgetful, and overwhelmed by your responsibilities, you may have adult ADD/ADHD. Attention deficit disorder impacts many adults, and its wide variety of frustrating symptoms may hinder everything from your relationships to your career.
Learning about the signs and effects of adult ADD/ADHD is the first step toward understanding the challenges and identifying your own symptoms. Once you understand the difficulties that come with ADD/ADHD, you can learn to compensate for areas of weakness and take advantage of your many strengths and talents.
To learn more go to: http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

What Now?

I started taking anti-depressions and anti-anxiety medications when I was with the kids Dad. I tried so many different depression medication that I can't even tell you all of the names. The last one that I have been taking is Celexa I didn't want to go off of my Meds, but due to the Dr. that I was seeing I was unable to get any more. They told me to see another office that used my insurance but I had called them a few times with no luck getting a call back. I know that people say that there is no such thing as withdraw from coming off of an anti-depressant! I know better I have had to go through it more than once; and it has been from different types of medication. It is such a hard thing to go through! Not only does it effect your mental state it also causes your body symptoms too! I have felt it in my face: My face will tingle and my mouth feels so strange in my lips that it drives me crazy. My body doesn't want to move it feels so heavy! The biggest thing is the thoughts in my head that I know when you put it out there People want to commit you. Dr.'s, Police, and anyone in the Medical industry think they have the right just because you say it. So be careful what you say because you could loose your freedom because they feel at that point and due to laws they have a right to protect you from yourself, EVEN IF YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T GO THROUGH IT !

I do believe in getting help and therapy because it does help! The BEST therapy I have had is hypnotherapy and my kids have also done the same. My son has done the most of this type and says it is the BEST! So if you think you suffer from any of these or some other type of mental illness I strongly suggest to get help! If one thing doesn't work try something else because I have suffered for more that 30 years that I know of; Probably more than that since I know I did things as a Child to try and help myself. I will be seeking a New Dr. and Therapist because without them I don't know if there will ever be a "Normal" person in me (whatever Normal is anyway that is a whole other subject to think about later).

About me and Life today

2012-04-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

I guess the best way to start a blog would be for me to tell you a little bit about me! I was born in 1964, I was the 4th child of 5 children. My parents are still together and I never really saw them fight. My Mom was a stay at home Mom and did everything she could do for us. My Dad worked and sometimes worked more than one job to keep food on the table. He was your typical male who was raised to believe that it was his job to provide for the family. My older siblings use to tell me that I was adopted and that is why my parents didn't have a baby picture of me from the hospital. They would call me D E V I L which came from initials for names that they came up with for me. Some day I will share my name for those of you who don't know me. But for now I will just leave it like that.

I think I could say that I can remember early in Life that I would hit my head on the wall to try and fill better. Why I just can't tell you. I feel that I had a good childhood. I also remember trying to hang myself when I was a teenager, but of course my Dad came down and asked me if I really wanted to die and cut the cord that was around my neck and replaced his hands around my throat and held me up as he said "Do your really want to DIE?" I think he must have known what the answer would be... Because here I am writing this for your eyes.

Today the father "Daddy" to my kids would have been 51 years old... He died when he was 40 years old almost 41 just less than a month away from his Birthday before he died. I still think about him and wonder if things would be different with me and my kids if he were alive. Don't get me wrong I love my Husband who I have been married to for 6 years now. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't know what I would do to get by some days.

I decided to start this because a friend from FB said it helps her to write it down and get it out. So here is the post that started some of my friends and family to see how real my illness is:
The struggles with mental illness S#ck A$$. I felt like my doctor just broke up with me. He gave me what I needed then left me High and Dry. Coming off of an antidepressant is so hard for me I feel like letting go. I know I never would do that because I don't think my kids could handle it. So I keep pushing on. I feel like the more I try to move forward in life the more something gets in the way and it feels like I cant breath. So what to do.... Just keep pushing on. Life is what you make of it I know, but when you feel like I do sometimes escaping is all there is to do!
Also I had to post something else so people didn't get to freaked out:
Going to the Dr. for follow up from surgery. I WILL find me a Head Dr. YES I WILL... I know that I am a person who needs Meds. some people say it is all in your head.... Oh what they don't know is how true that statement is! That is why I don't care what people think and that I put it out there for the world to read. Bipolar is Real and it takes a Real person to admit they need help! I am on a high for Life today! And what u read on my posts is how I feel and I would never take my life for God gave us his Son Jesus Christ to die for us. And I know it is a sin... And it would be permanent for something temporary in my head ♥

So this is where I will leave it for now, I hope to try and blog and have a place for people to vent and ask questions. I am a very open and outgoing person I feel that I have more than one side to me. I don't judge and I have always had a BIG heart and open arm policy in my Life. I have been here for so many people and hope that when it comes to it that I will find the help I need in Life. I believe that I am someone who does need medication to be able to get through life and I am not ashamed to admit it. I know suicide is Wrong and I wouldn't do it on purpose, I can't say that I won't die because that isn't my choice, however because I know some things in life happen from mixing things I hope not to do that because in a since it would be like doing it!